Peace of My Dreams
by SteffieSnape
Summary: SS meets a young woman with magical abilities. She is brought to Hogwarts when mysterious dreams haunt her sleep and she seeks help from SS. A bond is formed but more comes of this than just learning magic... broken dreams and hearts can be healed.
1. Mysterious Ways

**A/N:** Hello to any new readers out there! I'm hoping you will not judge this story too quickly by the first chapter, as it takes a few to really get started. It might seem confusing, but it will explain itself in a few chapters, I promise. When this story is completed I will be going through all the chapters and cleaning up, as I did with this first one. I've rewritten this first chapter just to clear up a few things. I feel that some people may have lost interest because they didn't see the tie in to the whole story within this first chapter. So, I've added a prologue and rearranged a few things in the body. Enjoy! Oh, and yes, this story is rated mature for a reason.

* * *

Prologue

The mid October sky was fresh and crisp, painted by the red and orange leaves extending from the treetops. The trees lined the quiet street like a canopy, every so often revealing a patch of blue. As the car turned into a driveway, in front of an elegant brick home, a woman in her early thirties turned her head to look at the sleeping baby in the backseat.

When the car came to rest, a man of the same age stepped out of the driver's seat, and then walked around to open the door for his wife. He helped the woman out of the car and they looked at each other for a moment. They smiled. Several minutes later they entered their home, and the woman took the tiny baby out of the car seat.

She held the child close to her chest, rocking back and forth, nothing but a smile on her face. The man watched, feeling pleased that his wife was the happiest she had ever been.

"Oh, Nicholas, she's smiling at me. Look! Look!" she said, beaming as she looked down at the baby. "Look at those eyes," she gasped, "they are so beautiful."

"All babies are born with blue eyes," he smiled, "but those are more than blue."

"I know. I wonder if they will stay like this." She rocked back and forth again, holding the child as if it were a treasure beyond any other. "I'm so glad we decided to do this, Nick. I thought my dreams of being a mother were over when they said I couldn't have children. I'm so happy. I still can't believe she's here."

The woman talked more animatedly than she should of, but since she was directing her voice at the baby, it was only natural.

"I know, Mary, I'm happy too." He could do nothing but watch his wife and new daughter, feeling a hole in his heart fill up with pride. "I'm glad we decided to keep her name. It's different, but I like it."

"Yes, Seda is a lovely name, isn't it?" She said in a singsong voice. The baby looked up in wonder with her big blue eyes and she smiled, mouth wide open and little tongue clicking in excitement.

Ten years later…

It was another mid October day, the sun was warm and the sky was bright blue. There was a soft wind, blowing through loose hair and rustling in the leaves. Groups of people, mostly young girls, were crowded around a bench outside a theatre.

"Ok, girls, sit down so I can take a picture. Come on, over here." A woman called to a bunch of giggling ten year olds, all dressed in dance attire.

The girls all scattered to sit on the bench or stand behind it. They all wore black leotards, pink tights with black leg warmers, and they all had matching jackets with their names embroidered on the left side. Each one had their hair wrapped in a tight bun at the back of their head, and they giggled to each other as they prepared for a picture.

"Seda, look at the camera, darling," the woman said from behind the camera. "Ok, everyone say cheese!"

As the girls around her smiled and said, "cheese," her attention was drawn elsewhere. Her eyes lingered on a small orb of light, floating in the sky a few feet away from her face. Her eyes widened in amazement just as the camera flashed, capturing her wondrous smile forever.

She stared at the orb for another minute until a girl hit her on the arm. "Come on, Wood, we're leaving," she said, but her voice seemed distant.

"Oh, ok," she replied. She looked back to the sky to see if the orb was there, but it was gone. She stood up from the bench and walked away, feeling a slight sense of loss.

Another woman came and put an arm around Seda's small shoulders, as they walked to a car. "Wonderful job today."

"Thanks, mom," she said, somewhat distracted.

"Mrs. Casey thinks you might have a spot in the show."

"The group?"

"No, a solo spot."

Seda looked up at her mother in surprise. "Really?"

"Yes. She said if you keep up your enthusiasm in classes you might be in the fest this year by yourself."

"Great!" she said excitedly. She hugged her mother and they walked to the car. She forgot about the orb she saw and focused on dancing from then on.

* * *

It was a summer night in June, and the staff waited to hear the last words from the Headmaster. 

"Well, that will be all. Have a wonderful holiday, and I will see you back at the start of term. Thank you, everyone." Dumbledore smiled at the group of witches and wizards.

They said their goodbyes and left the office, except one.

"Ah, Severus. Please, have a seat." He gestured to a chair.

Snape sat down and looked at Dumbledore impatiently. He hoped it was not going to take long, what ever it was. He had things to do before the holiday started.

"You remember that favor, do you not?" Dumbledore asked.

"The possibility of an _assignment_, yes."

"Oh, good," he smiled. "Well, I have heard back from the Minister, and it seems as though assistance will be required." There was something smug about him.

"So it is definite then?"

"Yes, indeed it is. They request your presence as soon as possible. The summer session starts on Monday."

"I see, so soon?"

"Yes, I'm afraid the terms in the Americas are a bit different than ours." He waved his hand at nothing, though a pot of tea appeared. "Tea?" Dumbledore offered. Snape shook his head. "The session there will end the week before the start of term at Hogwarts, should it be required you stay that long."

"Is it really going to require two months?" Snape seemed irritated.

"It depends, Severus, when ever the situation is inspected thoroughly enough. There may be no sign of any disturbance at all, though I doubt that."

"And you are certain you cannot do this yourself, Headmaster?"

"I'm afraid not. You see I would be a bit more suspicious looking than you. Besides, they requested an excellent Potions Master, considering it is the closest to chemistry there is."

"I still do not see how this is substantial. What does my skill have to do with this?"

"It's more of a diversion. Throw them off course so they suspect nothing. You are capable of that, having been-"

"Yes, a spy, I know," Snape said bitterly.

"Then I'm glad we are understood then, because this is extremely important. The outcome of this… ah, mission has a role to play in your future."

"My future?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, yes, very much so. I know how persuasive you can be, Severus, so I'm relying on you to find the disturbance and rectify it." He gestured to the teapot. "Are you sure you wouldn't like some tea?"

"No, thank you," he had the urge to roll his eyes but he didn't. "So where exactly is my post?"

"Oh, I thought you might like to know that. The school is in New Hampshire. It's called New Hampshire University, ironically enough."

"How very original," he said coolly. "And you are certain there is only one class I have to deal with? There will be no other surprises when I arrive?" Snape had a funny feeling there was something he didn't know.

"No, Severus, only one. I dare say one will be more than enough. Now, if that is all, I suggest you prepare to leave as quickly as possible."

Snape stood up and nodded. "I shall be in contact," he said before he turned to leave.

"Oh, and… watch for the unexpected. Good trip, Severus." He waved, and then Snape was gone in a swish of black robes.

* * *

The day was being drawn out painfully. The dreary Thursday was losing light more rapidly now and soon the earth would be stripped of any trace of sunlight. Looking onto the grounds he could see visions of nameless figures, as fireflies danced around without a care. How long he had been in this daze he could only guess, when a voice, far off in the distance, came echoing into his thoughts. 

"Professor Snape, how would you… is this… excuse me, sir?" The voice faded in and out of his head like a flickering light bulb.

It felt as if he'd been sleeping upside down. The sudden rush of mundane questions came hurtling at him, causing a burning headache. He felt slightly dizzy as the world turned right side up in his mind.

"Professor, are you alright?" The voice faded in again. He nodded his head and dismissed the student with a wave of his hand.

The previous afternoon he caught glimpse of a peculiar situation, and since then he had been lost in his thoughts. He had been pondering all day, as logically as he could, that it couldn't have been possible. Maybe the warmth of that particular room was causing his brain to become a bit fuzzy, but he could have sworn he had seen what he did. Yet it would have to be put aside as of now because he was brought back to an all-familiar reality, his mission.

The next day was gloomier than the last, if it was possible. Snape sat at his desk waiting for the students, checking his pocket watch, as they only had several minutes before they would all be late. It was strange, he thought, how these Muggle students didn't fear him like the Hogwarts pupils. Then he remembered they didn't know he was a wizard. So of course they didn't fear him, as they should. They didn't know he was capable of putting them in detention only to scrub out cauldrons or clean potion vials filled with mutilated caterpillars. They didn't know he was capable of hexing them to pieces.

Advanced Chemistry was definitely a piece of work. What Muggles had been doing for the last several decades he didn't know, but he had imagined it to be some type of mad experimentations. Then again, magic wasn't a part of their daily lives. Naturally they would have nothing better to do than concoct indifferent ways to find the meaning of a pointless substance, although he found something slightly fascinating about it all. This was mostly because it had a distant relation to the concept of Potions. With that settled in his conscience, it was probably the only thing that kept him sane that holiday.

Snape checked his watch yet again, and just as the last thirty seconds began to tick away students began to swarm into the room. Surely these Muggles didn't waste a second, he thought, cutting it tight on the edge of time.

"Today we will continue with the development of our formulas. Many of you have completed your research and may continue with the developmental process of this formula. Those who have yet to finish their research had better not procrastinate any longer."

The class set to work, in an apprehensive way, not sure whether to ban the research all together and jump right into the processing stage or just give up. It had not been long since they had been in Snape's classes and all ready they assumed he is not one to be fooled with.

Snape floated around the room and offered criticism to those who were struggling and silence to those who advanced. It wasn't until he noticed the same unfeasible sight as before that he began to snap at anyone who disturbed his thoughts.

It wasn't possible, he thought.

"Excuse me, Professor. Is this the correct amount here or is this the prescribed expression in this column?" a young woman spoke nervously.

Damn these students, he cursed in his head, they were always asking silly questions at the wrong moment.

"It's this column here, Miss Patterson, but surely you realized your formula is also wrong," he snapped at the girl and then she bent over her papers and avoided him.

He didn't continue down the row, but took a right instead, heading to the back of the lab. A young woman, no more than twenty, stood behind a Bunsen burner and a vial while she examined the process. Snape stood behind her, puzzled for a moment, and then headed to the front of her lab table.

"What exactly are you doing, Miss Wood?" he asked in a low and curious tone.

Usually the sudden appearance of Snape startled people, but she seemed rather calm. Continuing her gaze on the items laid before her, she answered him in an even calmer manner.

"I revised my formula. I discovered that by adding one extra drop of Iodide and lowering the temperature by three point six degrees the development of the oxidants is more significant."

Snape raised an eyebrow at this remark. It was certainly not what he had expected.

"Fascinating, Miss Wood," he said sarcastically. "However, that is not the correct formula. I asked for the proper formula from your book, not your experimentation."

"Thank you, Professor Snape, but I knew what you asked for. The research led me to this formula so I continued to experiment, which has proven successful," she answered nobly.

If it was possible, Snape's eyebrow nearly jumped off his head. That was, dare he say it something he would expect to hear from a Gryffindor. Not to mention, she was extremely arrogant and had no idea who she was dealing with. She had brains, however, that he couldn't ignore.

"Carry on then, Miss Wood," he said annoyed. "Let's hope that more mistakes like that won't lead to a more unpleasant outcome." He glared at her for a moment then turned with a snap of his robes.

Snape roamed past the rest of the tables and proceeded to his desk. He needed a minute to think things over, which was very unlike him. He was usually the type to determine the cause of a situation within a matter of seconds. This seemed to have boggled his mind. It wasn't her remark; it was what led him to her table in the first place.

While Snape gathered his work, the class filed out of the room except one other person. The young woman that reminded him of a Gryffindor was packing up her things as well, obviously in no hurry. As she was placing her books and note pads in her book bag, she didn't realize one of her vials was on the loose. It was rolling towards the edge of the counter top, and it fell before she could catch it.

"Damn," she said quietly, but Snape heard her. He glanced up only to observe momentarily, but he saw something very unexpected.

He knew at once he was not seeing things as he tried to convince himself before, but he had actually just seen proof that he was not losing his mind. Without any hesitation, Snape swept from behind his desk and approached the young woman.

"I'm sorry Professor, it slipped before I could catch it, but I cleaned it up." She was looking away from him.

"Miss Wood, could you answer me something?" He stared intensely at her.

She looked a little hesitant. "I suppose I could, Professor," she said nervously and looked at up him.

"Very well, Miss Wood, be honest with me. How did you manage to clean up that vial without moving?" He was right to the point.

Snape stared right into her eyes, as if he was searching for an answer before she could reveal it. He knew he had her trapped. She would not be able to come up with silly excuses for what he had just seen.

"I don't know what you mean, sir." Something in her deep blue eyes flickered but she didn't look away from him.

"You know perfectly well what I mean," he snapped. "Your vial rolled onto the floor and broke into several pieces, and then you managed to have it restored to its original form within a matter of seconds. That is what I mean, Miss Wood."

Snape could sense that she was frantically searching her mind for some sort of explanation, but it looked as though she was failing.

All she could manage to say was, "I'm going to be late for my next class," in a rushed, under her breath sort of voice. She turned back to her book bag and started tossing things in quickly. She was turning to leave when Snape called again.

"I know what you managed to do. I am not blind, Miss Wood. All I ask is that you explain yourself." His voice was demanding yet calm.

She stopped mid step and stood with her back to him. "What exactly did you see, Professor?"

Snape thought for a moment. He needed to choose his words carefully, as he did not want to give away his true identity. In a tone that he had never seen something so magnificent, he explained again, sarcastically.

"What I saw, exactly, was several pieces of broken vial extraordinarily levitate themselves back to your table without you moving at all, within a matter of seconds. I would like you to please explain how you managed to do this."

Slowly she started to turn towards him, and then she took a few steps to the nearest table. She adjusted the strap of her bag to sit higher on her shoulder, and then she placed both hands on the counter top.

"I don't know how I did it, honest. Strange things like that have been happening to me ever since I was young, and no one has ever been able to explain what they saw." She looked down at her hands.

Snape was staring at her head, where her eyes should be if she was to look up properly. He folded his arms inside his robes, curious of her words.

"Lately I've grown used to these abnormal… abilities, and I hardly notice when it happens anymore." She looked up at Snape and stared into his eyes. Just as he was, she looked like she was trying to search for an answer within his mind.

He merely replied, "stay after class tomorrow afternoon."

Without question, she turned and left the room quickly, never looking back.

Snape left the classroom and entered his living quarters some time later. He started to get the feeling that this mission he was on had more to do with just rectifying a disturbance, and he had the feeling that a certain Headmaster had everything to do with this. He couldn't believe he didn't realize when it first happened; of course he thought he was here for an entirely different reason. The old smugger, he thought bitterly. He immediately sent a message to said smugger, and poured him self a drink, a strong drink.

* * *

A/N: If things are still unclear, I promise they will make sense in a few chapters. Snape was sent for a very specific reason, and there is a perfectly good explanation for it soon. I've started to revise my old chapters, since I am nearing the end of this story. I plan on redoing each chapter, little clean ups and such, just to make it more straightforward. As of now I have only cleaned up this first chapter, so forgive me for the untidiness of the next few, they were my very first attempts at fan fiction. I'm getting the hang of it now, ha! I really do hope you give it a shot, Toodles! 


	2. Inventions and Lunatics

__

*Hello everyone. I'm sorry it took me so long to post the next chapter. Family emergency and, well, that's enough said. Anyway, thanks for sticking around if you have and enjoy the next chapter. *

Severus woke to a glorious sunny morning. The sun had been hiding for so long it was strange it showed itself. Thinking of yesterday's events, he couldn't help but wonder if the girl was related to any wizards. He thought that surely if the girl had shown signs of magical powers when she was young she would have been sent to an American wizarding school, but they were fairly rare. Perhaps today he would get to the bottom of this.

************************************************************************

At one fifty-five pm, the class filed out of the room, bustling to their hearts desires. 

"Seda, are you coming"

"You go ahead. I wanted to ask the professor about the lab."

Seda stood at her table, waiting for her teacher to acknowledge her presence. He was busy putting papers in order and jars and vials in their cases. A few moments later he approached her. Seda was a bit nervous about their meeting today, as she really didn't know what to expect. The previous day had her slightly anxious about what may happen in the flow of conversation today. She supposed she would find out, soon unfortunately.

A cool and low voice cut in her thoughts, catching her off guard. 

"Seda… a very unusual name. Not American I presume."

Seda nodded, unsure of what to say. Severus took a quick breath and continued.

"If I'm not mistaken '_Seda_' is _Armenian_ and I believe it means -

- Forest voices" she broke in. Snape raised an eyebrow, as he was so accustomed to doing, but he had almost never been interrupted before. She wasn't afraid of him, as so many of his Hogwarts students were. He wasn't trying to empower her. He was simply trying to start a conversation, which was something Snape definitely wasn't accustomed to doing.

"You know the origin of your name then? Tell me, how did you come to have it."

With out even thinking Seda spoke the truth. She had never told someone this before in such short acquaintance, but she went on all the same.

"Well, I was adopted and that was my given name from my birth mother. I suppose my adoptive parents liked it too much to change it. I never met my birth mother, so I really don't know why she chose that particular name."

"I see," said Severus, crossing his arms and leaning against the opposite table. "Do you know anything else about your birth parents. Their names, where they were from?"

Seda looked as if she was becoming slightly uncomfortable talking about her unknown past with a teacher she had only known for a month. Yet, something about his eyes made her lose herself and forget everything around her but it also caused her to become slightly defensive.

"Honestly, Professor Snape, I know nothing more then you. There are many questions I would like answered as well, and, obviously, if I knew the answers we wouldn't be standing here would we."

At this Severus did not raise his eyebrows anymore then they were. He stood there, looked right into her content gaze and answered her silently.

Seda had the feeling that every time he looked at her that way, boring into her stare, that he was reading her mind like a book. And at that moment, she heard his voice in her head like a broken and faded radio. She could hear him saying to her that he could help her uncover her past and settle her anxiety about being different. It was a sensation similar to swimming up to the surface after diving 12 feet. Not a sound when you are near the bottom but gradually nothing becomes an echo and an echo becomes a voice.

"How can you help me professor?" Her voice came in slowly and shaking.

Severus knew he was heading for trouble here. She is a witch and he knew she was starting to realize it. Seda knows he can help her, but he was holding back. He needed to talk to his mentor, his wise old friend, before he made any critical decisions. 

"I know I'm different, and I know you know it. I've just heard your voice in my head and I know you know that too. Please, tell me, what's going on inside me and why do I have the feeling that you are not what you seem." Seda walked toward him slightly and stopped at the edge of the counter, keeping several feet between them but close enough to get a better look at him. She was examining his face and his eyes as if it were an invention of incredible technology.

Once again, Snape's cool and chilling voice pierced through the silence. It was softer this time but an air of hesitation behind it.

"You are a witch Seda." Snape looked around the deserted room as though people were staring at them. He looked back at her face, which remained in the wondrous and examining state as it did before he said this. She either didn't hear him or she was completely stunned. He spoke a little more commanding this time.

"Do you understand me Seda? You are a witch and I may be able to help you if you trust me."

She gave a feeble laugh that came out hardly above a squeak. She still hadn't taken her eyes away from his, almost in fear that if she did she would fall off the earth. 

"Come now you silly girl, I hardly have time to make up nonsense. I know this is a shock, but you must believe me. If you can I can help you, if you can't… well, then you will run off and tell the superiors that I'm a lunatic who should be strung up by my ankles."

"I don't believe it," she said in an airy-fairy voice. "I - I - I mean I think I do, but I just don't believe it " still in an airy-fairy voice.

"Yes, yes girl, you said that already. Now, if you are ready to come back down to earth I can explain myself so you don't think I'm a nutter. It would certainly help ease and quicken this process if there were two people in this discussion and not one."

Seda suddenly snapped out her cloudiness and became much more absorbed into what he was saying. He told her over the next hour about the wizarding world and that she wasn't abnormal. He told her that she could start, practically, a new life and join others who were like her. And at last Severus told her what he was and that he could take her with him to be trained into a fully qualified wizard. He knew there was a lot of risk in giving her this much information, but he also had the feeling Albus may already know about it.

After what seemed a life age Severus brought the conversation to an end. It was strange he thought though because it didn't feel like he was teaching a preschooler to make a potion. He felt as if every word he spoke, though mad and ridiculous they must sound to her, it got through to the girl and she comprehended and accepted what was presented.

In a less airy voice then before, Seda thanked the professor for telling her the truth and she said that she was most definitely not going to skip about and sing that Professor Snape is a mad lunatic who needed to be strung up by his ankles. 

"Further information will be available to you next class if you decide to pursue your destined future. Think about what I have said and I must have your word that you will tell no one about what we discussed."

"You have my word professor and I will assuredly think over what you have laid before me. Thank you again for your honesty. I realize it probably wasn't easy revealing your identity, but you can trust me sir. I will see you next class _Professor_ Snape."

And with a coy little smile and a nod Seda gathered her book bag and left the room standing at a slightly different height then when she first arrived.


	3. Sugar Cubes and Poison

_*I've dedicated my sleeping time to writing Ch.3 time, so I hope you really enjoy this one. It was something I wasn't planning on including, but it just came to me. Well, there you have it, a third chapter along with the second. I guess this makes up for my lateness on Ch.2! Sorry again, but I'll try to keep the rest on time. Toodles! *_

Severus paced in front of the fireplace in his living quarters at the university. Now that he had told Seda what she was, what _he_ was and what other world existed, he had to come up with a plan on how to get her to Hogwarts and what she would do when she got there, that is if she decides to go through with it.

The glow from the fireplace cast long shadows on the walls, exaggerating every shape and object that stood in its path. Severus stood for a while and stared at a particular shadow that danced on the wall. A fiery cast of a bottle that lie on Snape's desk had an amusing resemblance to the Headmaster of Hogwarts when the flames flickered and distorted the natural shape of the glass. He could just envision the thin, old shape of Albus skipping about his wall and ceiling, dancing along to a silent tune, unless of course he, Albus, was humming to himself.

Jumping back to his thoughts Snape suddenly thought '_Dumbledore'_. What would Dumbledore think of bringing this girl to Hogwarts and exposing her to their world? He knew Albus was trusting, more so then others would accept, but would he really agree in letting her become part of it, part of Hogwarts and the wizarding community. It was a funny thing, being in this situation, because normally he, Snape, would be the one to act logically and sensibly in this matter. He would never be one to reveal his identity to a stranger, especially a girl no more then a child, and he would most certainly never invite them to accompany him back to his world, but there was just something different about all this. Severus turned back to the fire place, to continue pacing, but came to a halt mid step when Dumbledore himself was standing in front of emerald green flames slowly dying into reddish gold sparks. 

At Hogwarts Snape was used to the Headmaster seemingly appearing out of thin air, but this time seemed to have caught him off guard. The expression on Snape's face could have given it away slightly, but Dumbledore could have figured that anyway, since he was an accomplished Legilimens after all. *Damn him for wanting to be mysterious constantly* Severus thought.

"I wouldn't say it's a constant need, more of a satisfying and amusing experience of surprising old friends." Said the aged wizard as he brushed the ashes from his long, midnight blue robes speckled with gold half moons and stars.

"Good evening Headmaster, may I offer you a drink?" Snape said with a forced tone of calmness and a slight edge of annoyance, but all the same he was glad to see the old man.

"Tea will be fine Severus. Two cubes and no poisons I would like to request." Albus gave one of those childish smiles with a twinkle in his eye. Severus gave him an exaggerated bow and then conjured a pot of tea and a cup.

Dumbledore sat on one of the cushy chairs near the fireplace and Severus sat opposite of him, behind his desk. The firelight lit up the fine lines on the Headmasters face and the added a glimmer to the magnificent white and silver beard that fell into his lap. He looked at Severus over his half moon glasses and said nothing, just sat and sipped his poison-less tea. He knew the silence always irritated his Potion Master, especially when he was being stared at. Finally Snape just gave in and broke the silence in the room.

"Headmaster…" he began but the words drifted away from his brain. Albus set his cup upon the desk and sat back in the chair.

"Ah, yes, you wanted to bring up the subject about a certain young lady who happens to be a witch, did you not?"

"So you knew about her the whole time didn't you?"

"Fortunately, yes, I did know that Miss Wood was indeed a witch, or shall we say has the means of becoming one."

"So this is why you persuaded me to take this job. You wanted me to discover her and bring the girl to Hogwarts."

"Correct again Severus. And _why_ you are asking me… because obviously I could not come after Miss Wood myself or I would have, but I delegated the task to you. I sent you on this task because I could trust you with the knowledge of importance that finding her would be to her future and ours."

Severus looked slightly baffled by this news, but he should have expected it. In response he merely raised an eyebrow, showing his interest to the outcome of this plan.

"You see," Dumbledore continued. " The child has remarkable magical capabilities and has somehow been lost within the wrong society. She has many powerful attributes to offer and it would be a shame if she was never properly introduced to the real person she is. I believe in time she can and will contribute to the success in advance of magical studies and potions."

"I can vividly see your vision of this outcome Dumbledore, but the girl has lost many valuable years of wizard training. She can't possibly learn so much in a given amount of time, it would be near impossible and utterly ridiculous to place such high standards on this child."

"You would be very surprised, Severus, to see what extraordinary things one can accomplish with the right amount of balance between motivation, encouragement and guidance. Look at yourself for example. You came to Hogwarts with more knowledge in the study of the Dark Arts then, I would say, 99 percent of the seventh years. Such motivation to learn can stop no one in pursuit of a better life, and you of most people should realize that."

Snape looked at the old man out of the corner of his eyes. He hated it that even though the man is so old, his memory is as fresh as it ever was and he was always usually right. He would really like to curse him one day, just to relieve the frustration that there was never a time, he could remember, being with Albus that the man couldn't prove he was right.

*Damn him again* Snape thought and this time he may just add a drop of poison in the man's tea, nothing lethal though, just a little fun. An evil smirk spread across Snape's face, even though he knew he would never actually do it. The thought of it was quite satisfying though, none the less.

"I understand Headmaster but if she chooses to start her life as a wizard where will she pursue it and how?"

"Well this brings us to another solution…" The old wizard added an extra twinkle to his eye for a sparkling effect. He lowered his head slightly but continued to look at Snape over his glasses. "You, naturally, Severus." He said this with the tone that it was perfectly obvious and he was surprised the Potion Master hadn't guessed it already.

"Ah. I assumed it would come to that." That sat in silence for a while and Severus merely stared at the fireplace. The once red and orange spitting flames were softening to a yellowish gold glow that seemed to be contained inside the fire eaten logs. Smokey figures were appearing out of the ashes and were dancing and vanishing likes gypsies in the night. Severus turned his head back to the chair where the headmaster was sitting then stood up himself.

"I will send word about prearrangements for Miss Wood. If you have further questions or requests don't hesitate to contact me. She hasn't much time left now until her time must truly come to decide and it is crucial that you guide her Severus. Thank you once again for your cooperation and you will see what will come of this." The old man nodded and with one last twinkle of his eye he stepped into the emerald green flames of the fire.

"Good night Headmaster. I will be in touch shortly." He also nodded and gave a slight bow.

"If I should find out when I return to have some strange illness… I can assure you I will summon you for an antidote." At this he smiled and then he vanished into the flames, becoming nothing more then a smoky cloud of ash.

Severus sat for a little while longer before turning in. Once again watching the gradually fading glow of the firelight and thinking what he would tell his soon to be Hogwarts student. He decided he would think of it more when it came to that time, but for now he was simply enjoying the peace and quiet and the fact that, once again, Dumbledore was right. He _will_ see in time what will come of this, just not yet.


	4. When Fireflies Dance

__

*Well here I am with another chapter, exciting isn't it? Fortunately I've had some free time this week due to unfortunate events, so to escape it all I buried myself in the HP universe, yet again. I wish I could say that frequent posts like this will be consistent, but I can promise nothing. Life takes us in a winding path where even the wisest cannot see what lays ahead. So, again, thank you for hanging around and I will be updating as much as possible. Toodles! * 

The weekend was definitely some type of relaxation for Severus. Considering the past several days had brought such an abrupt change in his mood that a time out was needed. He cleared his head and had plenty of time to discuss matters with himself, about the most beneficial and logical way to present further knowledge to the young lady. He knew she probably did a lot of conversing with herself that weekend also, as she had a crucial decision to make.

He wondered though, if she were to put aside everything she knew to be a truthful life and venture off into unknown territory, how it would affect her. Would she act like a lost child, because he definitely did not have time to chase around mindless adolescents, or would she look question and doubt in the face and confront her future? He thought on this for several minutes. He supposed and concluded that it would be most interesting to see her take on this challenge. As he thought before, she did seem quite Gryffindorish, and he hated to realize it, but she reminded him of a certain student. She was slightly bolder but perhaps it was because she didn't know, yet, what he was capable of doing. Miss Granger, he thought, knew what kind of person he was and would almost never give him lip about anything. Though she, too, stood up to him when circumstances permitted it and Snape didn't always approve. Besides that, Miss Wood seemed well on her way already to becoming a Hogwarts student.

************************************************************************

Severus strode through the courtyard, walking along the stone paths covered by a canopy of lush, green trees. The golden sunlight was spilling through the branches and small openings like rain. The warmth and the scent in the air brought on a sense of complete unknowing and unconcern for the exterior world. It wasn't very often Snape enjoyed outside strolls and as the classroom approached ever nearer he took in the beautiful surroundings of another brilliant morning.

It was strange what a little sunlight could do for a persons well being. He was so used to locking himself in his dungeons that it was rare he ever ventured outdoors when not necessary. Bringing himself back to reality, he placed his papers and vial cases on the desk. He was quite early, something not unusual for him, so he strolled towards the window intending to enjoy a quiet half hour before any pestering students arrived.

A small shape was sitting in the far corner of the large room. Severus didn't need to rotate his head to get a better look; he stared straight out of the window as he had planned.

"Have you had time to think over your options Miss Wood?" Severus spoke in a tone soft and dreary as if the conversation meant nothing of importance to him. 

The small shape shifted slightly and began to speak also. "I thought a lot about what you said professor and some things I decided would be for the best, but I'm still a bit confused on what to do. Should I leave everything I've known to be real for a life I know nothing about, or should I stay where I am and continue to be different from the world I live in."

"The choice is up to you but remember if you should choose this new life, your old life is not lost forever You will not be excluded from the muggle world in such a way that you can never return. All that you will leave behind is your previous identity, a non-wizarding identity. If you should choose this road the only consequence is that you can never reveal your new image as a witch. The barrier between the muggle and wizarding world is concealed very tightly yet a few slips can expose everything we have built for ages. We must have it this way because most of the muggle world is not open to what we are. So if you should choose this _life_ I suggest you think very clearly about where your priorities will lie for several years before it is safe for you to break it in slowly to those closest to you." Severus gazed out the window for a few seconds then turned his eyes toward the figure in the corner.

Seda seemed to have a loss for words at the moment. She was trying to take in everything Snape just told her yet she couldn't understand _why_ she couldn't understand. It was a strange feeling; confusion among confusion, it could really eat away your mind, but she shook herself out it and regained some self-composure.

"Muggle…" Seda looked up slowly. "Is that… what does that mean. Is that what I am?"

Severus continued to look at her with just his eyes, and then turned his attention back to the trees swaying in the breeze. He let the sound of the wind do a lap around the hall-like classroom then answered her.

"It is what you used to be, or what you shall continue to be if you choose."

"Oh, I see. A _muggle_ is someone who can't do magic. I think I understand now what you mean professor."

"Yes you silly girl, that is a muggle." He said with a bit of his Hogwarts teacher tones coming into play.

"No, no. You misunderstood what _I _meant professor. I mean that I understand what you said about the barrier between our two worlds and that exposure can lead to consequences. I realize how much importance stands between my choices and that either way there will be distractions that accumulate those consequences."

"Well, I'm relieved that you have come to this comprehension but further discussion will have to be put aside. We have visitors approaching, and this is certainly a conversation they do not need to over hear." Severus spoke in a hurried manner with a tad of sarcasm. 

Snape turned away from the window and walked to the desk where his belongings sit. He pulled out a few jars and shuffled some papers, then waited for the class to come crawling in like insects getting away from the sun.

************************************************************************

The day progressed just as any Monday should; slow, mundane and tiring. It was a miracle he could keep himself awake. At least at Hogwarts he would have the fumes from the simmering cauldrons to ease his senses and relax all the tension in his body and mind, but teaching where he had to stay undercover was, no doubt, plainly and simply boring.

At last the day was drawing to a near end. He wanted nothing more then to delve himself into his potions notes and see what absurd and complicated concoctions he could come up with for the new term at Hogwarts. And so all the class emptied and he was left alone, only his thoughts for company. He crossed through the courtyard yet again, but this time the canopy was not inviting golden light to play with the ground. Now that the sun was setting, a dusty pink and purple shade was creeping across the fading sky. It was sneaking through the trees desperately trying to find any golden light to push it aside, as to make room for the dancing fireflies that were starting to appear out of no where.

When Severus reached his quarters he found a surprise waiting for him outside his window. A small, brown and gray barn owl was sitting on the sill, snoozing. When Severus unlatched the lock the owl's eyes popped open and it ruffled its feathers and began to blink at him. The owl hopped inside and dropped a letter into Snape's hands. It flew over to his desk and made itself comfortable on the rim of one of Snape's liquor glasses. It began to peck at the liquid inside then gave a little hoot.

It was a letter from Dumbledore explaining the process of transporting the girl safely to Hogwarts and included Seda's living arrangements and list of requirements and supplies she would need to buy in London. Snape had the feeling, again, that Dumbledore already knew something he didn't. Questions would have to wait because the Headmaster requested that he reply immediately and that all confusion will be sorted out at a later time. So this was it… he was going to bring this child to Hogwarts. Well, she wasn't exactly a child, a young woman, but with all this set it seemed that all plans were in order and going accordingly as Albus had wanted. All that was left to do was gather his thoughts and the girl and leave for London when the summer term was complete. 

Severus wrote a quick reply, stating his agreement to the required task and that he would arrive in London on August the Twenty-fifth, exactly one week prior to the start of Hogwarts term, with Miss Wood at his side. He stuffed the letter inside a new envelope and sealed it with the Hogwarts crest. The owl hooted, hopped out the window and flew off into the sunset. The purple and pink shades that were playing across the sky were melting into velvety blues. The fireflies continued to dance across the sky, this time joined by the glittering stars, twinkling and singing their muted melodies. 

*She _has_ decided to become a witch and I am to guide her. * Severus thought for a while. He couldn't believe it was actually going to happen. Something like this had never happened before, yet he wasn't surprised in the girl's decision. If he were in her place he would surely choose to become a wizard too. A chance for a new life, a second world opening at your finger tips. It must be a wonderful feeling to escape your ordinary role and become something you never even dreamed of. Well, he guessed that she might be feeling slightly anxious and may have doubts that she will regret her decisions but he also assumed she was looking forward to a fresh start. He tried to imagine what it would feel like; growing up in a place you accept to be right and truthful but knowing that something about you is different and others looked down upon you because of it. Actually he did know the feeling, slightly. He could relate to her about feeling different and out of place, and he knew that he wouldn't hesitate to take the solution when it was offered to him. 

Severus let the breeze caress his face once more then shut the window and walked off towards the bedroom. All the time, still thinking that soon he was going to have another student to look after. He just hoped that she wasn't as big a dunderhead as some of the trolls he had to teach. With that set in his mind, he drifted off to bed and worried no more about what absurd plans Dumbledore had waiting for him. Whatever it was he had in store for him would just have to wait, because he was going to enjoy a restful night and only peace could interrupt him.


	5. The Giant and the Teapot

__

I've decided that I'm just going to spend most of the day writing this chapter and the next one because, like every one else, I'm eager to get Seda settled in the wizarding world. So, I hope you enjoy these next chapters. Oh, if you are waiting for the juicy stuff to happen, it will be a little while longer because I am trying to keep the characters, especially Snape, **in **character as much as possible. So, don't worry, there will be some romance later on. 

The last two weeks of the summer term passed by much more quickly then Severus thought it would. The leaves were now starting to turn a lighter shade of green with a tint of gold. The rebirthing, lush dark green, color was fading and was showing signs that it had been exposed to a hot sun. The air was hot, but every breeze felt like a mist. A refreshing shower thrown at exposed skin, surging it with moisture. You could extend your head out of a window and almost taste the spices in the air; it was a mind hazing experience. 

Severus moved away from the window and continued to pack up his trunk. Laying every book, jar, glass, vial, and parcel in its place, each one precise as it were an army. When he was placing the last few items in the trunk a knock echoed into the room. He walked to the door in the sitting room and opened it. Seda stood there, looking a bit tense. He should have known she would be here. She didn't say anything... she just stood there.

"Miss Wood, may I help you with something?" Snape said in a low and almost purring like voice. She seemed frightened, so he did his best not to intimidate the girl, which was hard for Severus not to do, as it came so naturally with his stature.

"I was… I was just wondering…if…" She trailed off and Snape couldn't understand what she was saying but he had the feeling he knew what it was about.

"Come in, Miss Wood. I have some packing left to do and we can discuss what's in your head while I attend to my previous task." Snape stepped aside and offered her entrance to the room. She took a few steps inside and stopped. 

"Would you like anything to drink?" Snape was gliding over to his bare desk; he extended an arm to show her to sit down. "Have a seat, you silly girl, I am not going to bite I assure you." Seda moved forward and sat down slowly. 

"Is tea fine with you, or would you prefer something else." He said in an almost bored voice.

"Tea is fine professor." As she was saying this, Severus flicked his wand and produced a pot and a cup, just as he had done for the Headmaster. Seda looked like her eyes were going to jump out of her head. Her jaw dropped slightly but she closed it quickly and took a long, deep breath. 

"That was incredible sir, how did you do that?"

"The right flick of a wand can allow one to do extraordinary things, Miss Wood. As you are going to learn, this ability is open to you and if I'm not blind, you already possess magical powers. Which, I'm sure, you have noticed already."

"Will I have to get a wand professor?" After she said this, she knew it was a tad ignorant, but she was so amazed at what he had done she couldn't help but show signs of curiosity.

"The wand and the mind are the most important tools to a wizard. With out them they are about as useless as a sea sponge." Severus offered Seda the cup and then he turned to head back to his trunk. "Your parents are informed of your future whereabouts I assume."

"Oh…yes. The Headmaster of Hogwarts sent me a letter two weeks previous explaining everything. He also sent a letter to my parents, stating that he was Headmaster of Hogwarts, and that he would like me to join the school as an internee and that it would be a pleasure for him to have me study under his guidance. My parents were happy for me but I think they are sad to see me go so far away. I mean it's over seas, but they understand what a wonderful opportunity this will be for me."

"And they know what you will be studying of course." Severus said while placing the last of his books in the trunk.

"Well… that was the part they had the most trouble understanding, but in the end they knew it was right. My parents also noticed that there was something… unique about me. So I suppose it was a relief to them that I will finally discover my true self. They are supporting me one hundred percent, but like I said, they are sad to see me go so far."

"I see. Then you have said your good-byes. It is going to be quite a period before you see them."

"Yes, I spent the weekend at home. I knew it would be hectic to try and see them the day we are leaving, so I devoted three full days by their side." Snape nodded and walked back over to the desk. He sat down opposite her and looked into the empty fireplace. They sat in silence for a few minutes, it was thoroughly awkward, but he didn't want to press on the matter too much, he knew she was trying to ignore the reality of leaving until it had to come. Then he spoke, quietly, trying not to startle the silence with alarms going off in every direction.

"Miss wood, you wanted to ask me something. It was the business of your visit and you have not yet explained the matter."

She looked at the ground as she sat there, thinking of what she had wanted to say. 

"I was just thinking when I was packing… the Headmaster never mentioned how I was to arrive in London. Are we flying?"

Snape at once was about to say the trip to London would be remotely ridiculous on brooms all the way from America, but then he remembered she meant an airplane.

"No, we will be taking a portkey. Since you have not the power to apparate, it would be easiest, and safest, to take a portkey."

"What in the world is a portkey professor?" She said as if he was speaking in some crude language. "And what power is it to apparate?"

Severus gave a small smirk, and then answered. "You will learn of apparation when you have been in training for a period of time. A portkey… you will find out tomorrow when you meet me back here at nine am. Now, you should finish your packing if you have not done so. Be sure to turn in early, we do not have time to delay tomorrow." Snape stood up and walked toward the door. Seda followed him and he opened the door for her. "Good evening Miss Wood."

"I'll see you tomorrow professor." Seda gave a small nod and drifted off into the quart yard hall. Severus closed the door and, once again, returned to the window. He could see her form off in the distance as it came around the corner into one of the paths that lead into student housing. The fading light was stalking her and the breeze was caressing her hair. Her figure became smaller and smaller until she finally disappeared. Snape turned his head in the opposite direction and continued to gaze at hawk flying amid the treetops. 

She has much to learn… how she will manage to do it in less then three years will be something of a miracle. 

Snape thought and then sat back at his desk. Going back to Hogwarts was something he always looked forward to, but now there was going to be this burden of trying to teach this American girl magic along with his regular schedule. It is going to be madness, but at least he will be helping to turn out another decent witch to the wizarding world. The light in the room crept nearer to the window and finally it was scoped up into the hands of the night. 

Heading home… he never realized how much a feeling could multiply when you were secluded for such a time. It was nice to think that tomorrow he will be back at Hogwarts, in the coolness of his dungeons. 

I hope I have no more trolls then I normally have. Maybe this year I will simply poison them all to rid of their stupidity, that way I will have less to worry about. 

It was a plausible thought, and an evil smile slid across his lips. No, he couldn't. Too much paper work would be needed to fill out after the mysterious deaths and illnesses of students. He would just have to suffer through another year. He sighed then relaxed back in his chair. Heading home… only hours away…

Seda was dragging her suitcases down the hall, feeling as if she was shrinking all the time. The weight from the luggage was compressing her body, and the length of the walk was never ending. As she slumped off down the stone corridor a door opened on the right. Snape came out of the opening and saw the girl struggling to carry the luggage. He walked toward her and took one the bags out of her arms. A relief came over her small body and she thanked the professor in a panted voice. 

After they pulled the rest of the cases inside, Snape turned to her with an amazed expression on his face. "You managed to bring all this yourself?" She nodded. "What in the world did you bring anyway… your entire house?" Snape looked around at the four suitcases in awe.

"Well, I cut back on a lot of stuff, but these are the necessities. I am going away for quite awhile and there are certain things I must have with me." She looked as if he was being dumb and that is was perfectly obvious why she brought what she did.

"Well, you won't mind if I compress the bulk. You see it is going to be most difficult to travel with this much excess."

"As long as everything is returned when I arrive at my rooms, that's fine. It would be much easier if I didn't have to carry all this around."

Severus agreed and did a simple incantation with his wand so that everything shrunk in size then became one small bag. Seda, again, looked like it was the most amazing thing she had ever seen. "Cool sir. I wish I could do that."

"You will in time, but now we must prepare to leave." Severus had already sent his trunk to Hogwarts, so he was left with only his wand. He walked over to the completely bare desk except for a teapot that stand-alone. He looked at his pocket watch then placed it back inside his robes. "Alright, we have about one minute. Come over here, quickly. Hold onto your bag and place one hand on the teapot. We are about to be transported to London, so do not let go, whatever you do."

Seda walked over to the desk, held onto her bag with her left hand and reached out her right hand to the teapot Severus was holding. She touched the teapot and nothing happened. She looked up at Severus and he nodded in assurance that this bizarre doing was going to work out. Whatever doubts and fears Seda had, she didn't speak about it. She just looked at the teapot as if she were waiting for some kind of explosion to happen. Then the pot began to glow blue. 

"Any second now, don't let go." And as he had said, a few seconds later some kind of force was pulling them into what felt like a tornado. Seda felt herself lift off the ground and begin to spin. She closed her eyes and as quickly as she took a deep breath her feet hit solid ground. Seda opened her eyes and found herself inside a dimly lit room that looked like a very old pub and had never been cleaned. She examined herself to make sure that none of her limbs had not been left behind and that they didn't end up on the wrong part of her body. Severus noticed her self-examination and broke in. "That was a portkey Miss Wood." Seda looked up at him with wide eyes and her mouth slightly open. 

"Well, I've definitely never experienced anything like that before." She moved her bag into the other and wiped the hair out of her eyes. Then she inhaled slowly and exhaled rather quickly. "I can't say I would do it again in a hurry, though" She gave a weak smile.

"Well, come on then, we have a list of things to do and it will take most of the day, so let's get a move on." Severus started walking to a door that leads out into an alley.

"Sir…where are we?" Seda began to walk forward but was looking around the dirty old pub. "Is this London?" She was lowering her gaze to look at her professor but ran into a rather large, furry object. "Oh" She squealed. As she looked up her eyes opened so wide they were in danger of bursting open. "I-I-I… I am s-s-soooo s-sorry sir." She took a step back so she could get the whole view of the huge man in front of her.

" 'Ello there." Said the massive man. "Sorry, di'nt see ya." He gave a half smile.

Severus came out from behind the shadow of the huge man. "Miss Wood, this is Hagrid. He is Gamekeeper and watches over the grounds at Hogwarts. And yes, this is London, we are in The Leaky Cauldron… a wizard bar."

"Oh, I see. Nice to meet you Hagrid." She said in a breathless voice, as she held out a free hand to greet him.

"You mus' be the Ameri'an girl Dumbledore was mention'n." He gripped her hand, and as he did Seda looked like she was going to faint. The bones in her hand felt like they were snapping in half. 

"Y-yes, I am." Seda rubbed her hand as she smiled at him, then looked over at Severus.

"We are just making our way into Diagon Alley Hagrid. She has a list that needs to be taken care of, so we must be getting along. Nice to see you again."

"Tha's good professor. Dumbledore sent me down her to make sure you two arrived alrigh'. See'n tha' you 'ave, I'll tell 'im you are in Diagon Alley. Pleasure to mee' you Miss Wood." And Hagrid walked off further into the pub where the light was scarcer.

"Come now, Miss Wood. We really need to be getting along." He led her out the door into the alley and stopped in front of a brick wall. He tapped a few bricks with his wand and then they magically began to move at random, leaving an opening into another village. "This is Diagon Alley. The first stop in your new wizarding life."


	6. Cinderella in the Robes

Here it is, Chapter six, just like I promised. This is by far my favorite chapter because it was the most fun to write. Imagine thinking you were a muggle your whole life then discovering you are a wizard, and think of how your first visit to Diagon Alley would be…amazing and surreal. I try to put myself into Seda as much as possible; it makes it so much more realistic you know. Well, I'll stop now so you can read the chapter. Enjoy!

Seda stared into Diagon Alley, unable to move any part of her body. She was afraid to blink because she thought if she did she might wake up from this incredible dream. Severus started to walk forward and he looked back to see Seda wide eyed and mouthing the word "wow".

"It's difficult to get any shopping done if one refuses to go anywhere." Snape said this sarcastically, but with a small smile stretching across his lips.

Seda moved into the alley and she suddenly had the urge to go running off down the street, like a child in a toyshop, checking out all the stores. A grin was spreading across her face and she couldn't control the excess feeling of excitement surging through her veins. Severus noticed this too.

"Don't become to excited Miss Wood. This is not all there is to be seen."

"Will we be able to see it all today sir?"

"This is only Diagon Alley, which we will view today. Hogsmeade is the only entire wizarding village in Britain, which we will visit another day."

"There's an entire wizarding village? That's amazing… where is it professor?

"Hogsmeade is located near the school, you can walk there when ever you like."

They continued down the street and Severus told her all about the enchantments and spells placed upon the school. He also told her about the shops in Hogsmeade. As they talked Seda continued to stare wildly around at all the interesting stores and people until Severus led her to the door of Gringotts.

"This is where you will open your wizarding account. You will convert your American money into that of which wizards use, and it will be stored safely in a vault."

Seda looked up at the giant building then looked over at Severus, who was checking his pocket watch. "Well, let's go in, I want to start shopping" Severus looked up at her and saw that she was smiling… a lot. He nodded and led her into the bank.

After spending a half hour in Gringotts, and returning to the street with a pocketful of money, they walked down the street to get her fitted for her first robes. Severus walked into a store called Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions. Seda stepped into the store and glanced around at all the different robes, but before she could get a good look a squat little woman grabbed her arm.

"What robes will you be needin today miss; Hogwarts, casual or dress deary?

Seda eyed at Severus for help, as she had no idea what she needed. This was all so new to her and people were asking her questions like she had been around before. "Uuummm…I think… I'm not…" She said quietly, looking away from Severus and back to the woman.

"She will be needing casual and dress robes." Severus stepped in after noticing Seda struggle to answer the question.

"Oh, what a pleasure it is to see you Severus. It has been such a long time since I've seen you in my shop. Will you be wantin some new robes too. I dare say you would look smashing in forest green, it would bring light into your eyes."

"No, no that won't be necessary Madam Malkin. I am satisfied with the ones I have, thank you." Severus tried to give a small smile, but he couldn't help but show signs of annoyance. He hated to be pestered with silly questions. He preferred black, as usual.

"Alright Severus. So dear, what s do you like? You have gorgeous dark blue eyes, perhaps a deep red velvet to make them sparkle, or a dusty purple would look fantastic with your hair." She said smiling at Seda.

"Oh," Seda said a bit surprised, but smiling all the same. " Um, I'm not really sure."

"Well deary, if you would just take a stand over here on this stool I will get your measurements, then we can decide what you like best." Still smiling, she led Seda over to a dusty old stool. She stepped up on to it and Madam Malkin began to measure her.

After a few minutes of measuring, and several more minutes of , design and material choosing, Seda was quite pleased with the outcome. She had chosen two dress robes, one of satin in midnight blue and the other crushed velvet in a dark pink, almost red. She had also decided on several casual robes. All either black, emerald green, deep purple, periwinkle or burgundy. Severus watched Seda twirl around in each of her robes, like she was Cinderella going to the ball. She did look more like a proper witch in robes, instead of jeans and hoodies or t-shirts. He had to admit to himself she looked stunning in every , her eyes seemed to reflect all the shades and glimmered like crystals. She also had a smile that lifted the mood in the room. He shook his head slightly, as to rid himself of these thoughts. 

"Are you all set then?" He asked as Seda was handing over galleons to Madam Malkin, and the squat little witch was wrapping the robes in parcels with a flick of her wand. He had his arms folded up in his robes, just like he always did when he was waiting, and it made him look so mysterious. His black hair was framing his face with only his eyes glowing. Seda turned to look at him over her shoulder and she paused before she spoke.

"All finished professor." They walked out of the shop into the sunlight and Seda had an armful of packages. Next Severus led her down to the right and he stopped outside an even more dusty old shop.

"This is Ollivanders Miss Wood. Here you will buy your wand, which is one of the most important things you will ever come to own. Choosing the proper wand will enable you to access magic in extraordinary ways. Well, actually the wand will choose you, but we will see what you are destined with."

Severus opened the door for Seda so she could meet her long awaited wand. She looked around the room and was speechless to see shelves among shelves covered in thousands of dusty boxes. A man stepped out from behind the counter.

"Severus…" He said slowly. "Not in need of new wand are you? The core of yours was particularly difficult to find, and it is such a fine wand."

"I'm just escorting Miss Wood here, who is in need of a wand. Mine is in excellent form Mr. Ollivander."

"Ahhhhh, your first wand is it? Well, let's get started." He walked over to a shelf and pulled out a long, skinny, black box. "Try this…Maple, eight and a half inches, Dragon Heart String."

Seda took the wand from the box he was holding out to her and stared at it. "Nothing's happening."

"Flick it, you silly girl." Snape said with folded arms.

She gave the wand a little flicking movement and red sparks jet out of it and sounded off like an explosion. She went through several more wands, all ending in the same result; setting things on fire, jars exploding and so on. When it came to the seventh wand Seda was expecting another explosion. She waved it with a fearful look on her face but was surprised by the golden light and glittering powder encircling her like a whirlpool.

"Oh my…" She began breathlessly, but looked at her wand like it was a pile of diamonds. Severus raised an eyebrow and gave a small shrug.

"My my, we have found a match young lady. You are now the owner of a nine-inch, Cherry-wood with the core of unicorn hair. 'Tis springy, durable and excellent for charm work, yet all around a powerful wand, in any aspect. Treat it well Miss Wood, this wand can do extraordinary magic, but then again, it does come from within you to behold such power. Congratulations… " He said quietly. "Remarkable wand…" He was saying as he walked off behind the counter.

After paying for her wand they once again drifted into the street. Having both not eaten, they stopped for a quick lunch then continued down the list of required materials. Severus helped her pick out a top of the line cauldron, assisted her in buying crucial potion ingredients and showed her all the books she was going to need.

If it was possible, she had bought more items today then she had packed. Luckily Severus was there to help her carry the bundles and dozens of packages. The sun was floating lower in the sky and he took out his pocket watch and examined it.

"We best be getting back to The Leaky Cauldron, we are due at Hogwarts in ten minutes." He said as he placed the watch back inside his robes. He started to quicken his pace and Seda had to jog to keep up with his long strides.

"I-I can't believe this is it…"

"This is what Miss Wood, an ending to another day?"

"No, I mean I can't believe I'm really going to Hogwarts sir. I've been imagining what it would look like for weeks now, but I'm actually going there…tonight. It's…just… exciting, professor."

"Don't imagine yourself into a state of immobility or we will miss our key into the school. Come along, this moment will be here shortly."

They continued up the path, past all the shops and interesting people, and reached the back alley into the dusty old pub. Severus pulled open the door and walked inside. Now that it was darker outside, the candles in the bar were lit, along with the fireplace. They were giving off an eerie and mystical look to the old bar. Severus walked to a table in front of the fireplace and set down the packages while he looked around the room.

"Is something wrong professor?" Seda said as she moved closer to him, noticing his concerned expression. She let the packages spill out of her arms onto the table and sat down in the nearest chair.

"It seems that our portkey into Hogwarts has gone missing." He said while strolling off to talk to the barman. Seda watched them talk then turned her eyes to look at the flickering flames in the fireplace. It was much more cozy looking from this position, then to walk in the bar in the middle of the day when it looked old and run down. Severus returned to the table and reached inside his robes. She thought he was going to pull out his watch again but instead he pulled out a little drawstring satchel that looked like the kind you store marbles in. "Gather your things Miss Wood, we are going to take floo powder instead."

Seda gave a look of utmost confusion, but she stood up. "What is floo powder professor?" She asked quietly while stacking packages into her arms once more. She looked up at him with her eyebrows raised as if this powder stuff was really going to take them anywhere. "Is it like a portkey?"

"Watch…" He threw a handful of powder into the flames and they roared into giant, green flames. Seda gasped slightly but stood up straighter and took a step towards her professor. She looked into the fireplace as if it were an animal cage at the zoo. "You will step inside the fireplace and say 'Hogwarts' very clearly. It will take you directly to Hogwarts where I will be right behind you." Seda almost had a look of horrified disgust on her face and continued to look from the fireplace to Severus. "Do not worry, it's perfectly safe. Trust me… you will not catch fire and you will not drop out of the sky like a dead bird." He gave a small smirk but stood there all the same.

Seda was pleased to hear his reassurance but then it dawned on her. "Professor… how did you…how did you knows that's what I was thinking?" She said slightly in awe but lowered her eyebrows in a quizzical way.

"Ah… no time for that now. If you would please step into the fireplace and repeat what I said, we will be on our way." He held out his hand, pointing in the direction of the flames. "Remember 'Hogwarts' very clearly. If you say the wrong word even I won't know where you will end up."

Seda looked more afraid then she had a few moments ago, but she cleared her throat and stepped into the flames. She shut her eyes and turned around to face Severus. She snapped them opened and was amazed at the warm tingling feeling she felt, not scolding hot like she was burning alive. Severus lowered his head to get a better look at her. "Are you ready now? Go ahead, I'll be right behind you."

Seda took a deep breath then after a slight pause she said "Hogwarts" loud and clearly. The flames gave a roar and she vanished. Seda could feel herself turning in midair but she had no idea where she was. Blurred visions of fireplaces rushed before her, but she squeezed the packages more tightly as to have a feeling of support, as she was flying in some place she had never seen. Just as she was beginning to like the feeling of flying she felt herself tumble on to the ground. She gave a small yelp then rolled out of a gigantic fireplace onto marble floors, her parcels falling out of her arms and on the floor behind her. After she rolled into a crumpled little ball, she kept her eyes shut as she began, slowly, to turn over onto her back. She could here muffled footsteps and people whispering somewhere in the room. "Is she alright Albus?"

"Good evening Miss Wood. It's so nice to finally meet you." Said a low and mystical voice. Seda opened her eyes and found a tall, thin man with a long white beard and half moon glasses staring down at her. She gasped and sat up when the fireplace gave a roar and Severus stepped out of the flames. She was amazed how easily he stepped out of the fireplace, like it was a simple joyride on a bike.

Severus looked down at the girl with an amused expression on his face. "Good evening Headmaster." He nodded. "Miss Wood, may I ask why you are sitting on the floor?"

Seda looked up at him to the packages sprawled around her feet. "I wasn't expecting to fall out of the air like that. I-uhh…I suppose I wasn't prepared." She said and then bit her lip. She was going to stand up when the Headmaster offered her a hand. "Thank you sir."

He pulled her up and then waved his wand so all her parcels set themselves on a long, very long, table.

Severus put the parcels he was holding down on the table also then turned to look at the slightly embarrassed girl. "Miss Wood, this is Professor Dumbledore, the Headmaster."

And with a twinkle and a welcoming smile, the old wizard said in a misty voice "Welcome to Hogwarts child."


	7. Rolled and Stuffed

Hello! Hope you enjoyed that last chapter. It was rather fun to write. Anyway, sorry about the delay, busy weekend and all that, but I'm back and ready to write. The chapters will probably start to get longer because there is so much more I want to write in detail, but it's hard to do that constantly because it's very time consuming and I'm sure everyone can agree with me that there just isn't enough time…ever! So, I'm doing my best to keep up and still write in detail. The first few were pretty general and I wanted to get them over with quickly so I could get to this point. Since I'm here there is no turning back, so enjoy!

Seda smiled at the Headmaster in awe then she gave a half bow-half curtsy type of response. He went to shake her hand and Seda shook his in return. He patted her small hand with his other and said with a smile "I trust that everything went smoothly. No problems or delays?"

It was a funny feeling Seda had because, even though she had never met the Headmaster, she felt like she had known him all her life. It was such a warm and relaxing feeling he gave her that it seemed like he was a favorite grandfather she had not seen in awhile but adored very much. He was so radiant and mystifying that it was hard not to smile when she looked into his eyes. "None at all professor."

An older woman and a man about Severus' age appeared behind Dumbledore. He turned to look at them then said, " Miss Wood, I would like to introduce Professor McGonagall and Professor Lupin." Seda shook both their hands and both welcomed her to Hogwarts.

"Professor McGonagall is Deputy Headmistress, Head of Gryffindor House and teaches Transfiguration. Professor Lupin is our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. They smiled at her very humbly and she was feeling at home already. She didn't feel out of place at all. Seda couldn't do anything but smile. She felt a bit dumb, but that was all she could do. It was better then a scowl she supposed.

"And you already know our Potions Master, Professor Snape, who is also Head of Slytherin House." He nodded at Severus and Seda looked over her shoulder at him. He didn't tell her about the different Houses, so the mentioning of them came as a surprise. What were they anyway she wondered. "Ah… there are four Houses in Hogwarts; Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. The Sorting Hat sorts first years into houses at the beginning of their first year. Then they become like little families until seventh year when they graduate and move on. It's a simple process actually, but you will understand this later. Right now I think we all need dinner, so let us feast."

Seda, again, stared at him in awe. How did he know what she was thinking? He had actually read her mind and he did it so easily. Would she be able to read peoples minds too she thought. She stood there until she felt a hand on her back guiding her up to a long table at the back of the gigantic hall. She hadn't noticed it yet, but there were four long tables running parallel to each other then another long table in front of these.

As she walked she glanced up at the ceiling and was completely breathless. She noticed that the ceiling wasn't there, or was it, but it looked like the sky outside. It was the most magnificent sight she had ever seen. She couldn't seem to take in how extraordinary the hall was. She just gazed around in amazement. "You are standing in the Great Hall my dear," Said the Headmaster. " And the ceiling is enchanted to look like the sky above. Wonderfully fascinating isn't it?"

"Yes… it's incredible sir. I've never seen anything like it." She said mystified as she stopped behind Professor McGonagall. Dumbledore stepped in front of them all and looked over his half moons.

"I think that since there are so few of us it would be silly to dine at the staff table. Let us be more comfortable." He turned around, pulled out his wand and gave it a little swish. The four House tables vanished and a smaller, rectangular table set for 8 was in front of them. "There, this should be more suitable. Sit, sit."

Seda followed everyone else to the table and Professor Lupin pulled out a chair for her. She thanked him and then sat down. She noticed they were all wearing robes and she felt a little strange to be the only one in jeans and a t-shirt, but then she looked at the food on the table and forgot. There was a turkey with stuffing spilling out, mounds of mashed and boiled potatoes, two different types of stew, steamed vegetables, salads of various sorts and platters of freshly baked bread all sitting around in front of her. She couldn't believe her eyes, it looked like Thanksgiving, but she didn't mind it was only August, she was hungry all the same. "Dig in" Said the Headmaster and they started passing around platters and dishes of food.

Several minutes into the meal the door of the Great hall opened. Hagrid came strolling into the hall and then took a seat next to McGonagall. "Sorry I'm late Professor Dumbledore. Fangs feelin a bit under the weather so I gave 'im a pick-me-up. Been actin strange he has lately."

"Sorry to hear that Hagrid, but he will come around. You have met Miss Wood haven't you?"

"Oh yes, met 'er in the Leaky Cauldron this morning. Nice to see you again." Hagrid said as he waved at Seda.

The meal went on for a while and they talked about several things. Finally McGonagall spoke to her directly. "How was your journey from America?"

"Oh." She said a bit surprised at being talked to directly. "It was fine, thank you. The portkey and the floo powder were quite an experience, but… I suppose it was the only way. None of my limbs were left behind so it was just fine." She smiled at her and everyone gave a small laugh in return.

"What school did you leave to join Hogwarts?" Said Lupin interestingly leaning forward a little. Hagrid also looked down the row, to get a better look at Seda.

"Well, I was a freshman at New Hampshire University, when I met Professor Snape in my Analytic Chemistry class."

"I see. How was it there?" Lupin added.

"Well the University was wonderful. The classes were very hard but they were well worth the struggle, but the scenery was amazing. New Hampshire is beautiful, as is the rest of New England. I've never been to England before, so this is very new to me, but it looks just as incredible. I would love to see more of it one day. I was going to go backpacking across Europe with my parents once but the trip was canceled due to other things. But that's alright." Seda gave a little shrug and took a sip of her water.

"Have you ever been outside New England? Have you been to any of the other states?" This time it was McGonagall who spoke.

"Oh, well, yes I have. I used to travel with my dance company. We would go to competitions across the country. I've been to every state, except for Alaska, Washington and New Mexico. I was particularly fond of Chicago and Las Vegas. San Francisco was nice to, but I liked going everywhere. I've always been up for traveling." She smiled again and was becoming flustered with all the questions and the attention being directed at her.

"You were a dancer my dear? Fascinating. What type…ballet?" Dumbledore asked this time. "I always enjoyed ballet."

Seda held back to the urge to giggle and instead grinned. "I still dance actually, but I had to leave since I came to Hogwarts. I do all sorts of dance. Ballet is the primary of course. It comes as a basis for all types of dance. I also have studied tap, jazz, lyrical, modern… umm let's see… clogging, Irish, Pointe-tap, tumbling and ballroom. It's all very useful and wonderful." Severus shifted in his chair slightly. Since they sat at the table he never looked at her directly, at least she hadn't noticed. It was like he was trying to ignore he was trying to ignore all the discussions.

"Well, well. That's quite an accomplishment. Have you devoted yourself to this long?" McGonagall asked.

"Well, almost seventeen years now. I started when I was two. It's definitely my passion and my escape, yet so is music. I'm very into the Arts."

"My, have you any other talents?" McGonagall asked fascinated, forgetting about her fork she was holding in midair when reaching for a potato.

"Ummm… well I have played the violin and the piano since I was nine." She said feeling a little shy now. It wasn't anything special to her that she had danced her whole life and that she played the violin and piano on top of it. It was… natural to her. They did seam pleased about it though. At least they weren't calling her a moron for joining the wizarding world so late.

"That is simply exquisite. You certainly are into the Arts and now becoming a witch and learning the magical arts is something to ice the cake." Lupin said sitting back in his chair and beaming at her. He seemed thoroughly impressed, in fact, they all did. Except Snape, who didn't seem interested in this at all? He just sat there either, cutting his food, drinking out of his goblet or gazing at the ceiling. It annoyed her slightly, but she didn't really care. Maybe he was just tired after being out all day.

"Is there anything you would like to ask Seda?" Dumbledore said as McGonagall was just opening her mouth to ask another question. Seda was taken a back slightly from being addressed by her first name… by the Headmaster. She took a quick breath then thought.

She looked around the room for a source of information then something came to her. She was wondering this, but it was pushed aside in her mind by the overflowing pile of questions. "Are you the only teachers here, or is there more staff?" The table did seem rather empty, and there was such a big staff table behind her, surely it wasn't just for them.

"Why yes, there are more of us. The rest of the teachers are on Holiday still and will be here in few days time, preparing for start of term." He said interestingly.

"Um, are there many students here? Only, there are four, very long, tables."

"Oh… there are a few. You will have the pleasure of meeting them next week on September the First. Now, I imagine that since we are all stuffed you would like to see your room. If you would follow Professor McGonagall, she will show you to your room." He added a twinkle and then stood up. "Minerva, if you would kindly show our new student to her quarters that would be splendid."

"Certainly Headmaster." She said, also standing up. "Come along dear, just follow me."

Everyone stood and as Seda walked around the table Lupin, Hagrid and Dumbledore greeted her once more and bade her good night. She was very pleased with all the professors so far. They seemed extremely nice and she was feeling more and more comfortable as time went on.

Snape said something, quietly, to the Headmaster and then told him good night. He nodded at Seda then glided out of the hall. She was a bit surprised in his urgency to leave. He didn't offer to help with her things, but then she was with McGonagall. Perhaps he was ill, but she thought it strange that they had traveled together and he didn't even have the time to say 'good evening' or 'welcome' or whatever, he just nodded and left.

Seda walked over to the table where McGonagall was already standing and stacking packages. Seda smiled at her but glanced over at the door to see his cloak swishing out of sight. Seda looked back at the woman then asked quietly. "Is something wrong with Professor Snape?"

"Why do you say that dear?" She said looking a little concerned but smiling.

"Well, it's just he didn't seem very amused at dinner and he left the hall rather quickly…didn't he? She asked, but doubted her own question.

"Oh that…" Minerva smiled a little more and patted Seda's arm. "Our dear Potions Master is usually, almost always, surly mood." She lowered her eyes a little and continued. "He doesn't pride himself in talking very much and he prefers to stay locked away in his dungeons." Seda looked confused but she understood what she was saying. "Don't worry about him dear. That's him in a rather good mood. It's when his eyes flash you may want to steer clear." Seda nodded and went to pick up her pile of parcels when Minerva held out her arm to stop her.

"Oh no, dear, let me do it." She straitened and pulled out her wand then said "Wingardium Leviosa" and the packages rose off the table and levitated.

"Brilliant…just brilliant." Seda said amazed once more. "This would have come in handy plenty of times."

"Don't worry, in no time you will be doing things like this in your sleep. From what I hear, you are a very capable witch already." She said looking over her shoulder as she led Seda and the parcels into the Entrance Hall.

"Well, I've done a few things, not purposely, but nothing like that or with a wand."

"It still shows the signs dear. Just you wait, you'll be caught up soon enough."

Seda had just stepped into the Entrance Hall and was speechless…again. "This is remarkable… absolutely beautiful." She looked around the main hall and turned in place several times before she saw Minerva heading up the stairs. She ran to the foot of the stairs to catch up and then she looked behind her. "What are those giant hourglasses for?"

"Those keep score of house points for each House. You'll see when term starts." And she reached a landing and turned to the right.

"Oh, interesting. Do those doors lead outside?"

"Yes, out to the main grounds. You can view them tomorrow if you like. I advise you not to when it's dark, strange creatures lurk around these forests, so you ought to be careful. But it's perfectly safe if you know where you are going… and you are armed with your wand." She saw the look on Seda's face and laughed slightly. "It's fine, really." She went through a doorway and entered to the foot of the Grand Staircase. She began to head up the stairs, parcels still leading the way.

Seda looked up… and up… and up. She shrieked. "Oh my… good grief. This is quite a staircase isn't it? Does it ever end?" She said stepping beside the Transfiguration teacher and showing signs of more amazement and fear.

"It's not so much the thought of how many flights you need to go, but where the stair cases will lead you." She said with a smirk.

"What do you mean professor?" And just then the staircase moved away from the wall and glided to the other side. Seda gripped the banister like her life depended on it. "Never mind, I see what you mean." She said panting slightly with her heart beating a few paces faster. Minerva laughed and she continued up the staircases.

McGonagall led her up to the second floor and stepped on to the landing. She went strait then turned to the right, down another corridor. "The library is down to your left…your room is just down this hallway."

A hallway wasn't exactly the word. Each floor corridor was like another Great Hall, slightly smaller. The ceilings were tall and the walls wide, she couldn't believe the velocity of the castle so far. It would be a miracle if she didn't get lost finding the stairs. Minerva took a left and then stopped in front of a door a few feet down the smaller hall.

"This is your room Miss Wood. I hope you find it comfortable." She opened the door and it was dark inside, so she couldn't see a thing. She heard her mutter something then candles flickered on in the room along with a roaring fire. Seda stood in the doorway, with her mouth open.

Comfortable was exactly what she would call it since all other words were lost. She was standing in a sitting room that looked more like a den and library combined. To the right was a grand fireplace, the mantle five feet tall, and were two comfy looking armchairs and a dark cherry coffee table nestling around the fire on a beautiful burgundy and gold area rug. To her left were three bookcases, each about three feet wide and covered in books, lined against the wall. In front of her, on the back wall, was a bay window and in the corner to the left was a small study table.

"Oh thank you so, so much. This is by far more comfortable then anything I've ever seen." She said flabbergasted and beamed around the room.

"I'm glad you like it, but wait until you see the bedroom." She winked at her. "Now, if you would think of a word, you will grant your password into your rooms. It will seal itself automatically when you leave, and you will only be able to re-enter by password. Think of something unusual and say it directly at the door."

Seda thought of something that would be unusual but easy to remember. Oh, it was easy actually. Her favorite thing… that was easy enough. She stepped up to the closed door and said "cherry jellybeans" and the cracks around the door glowed a dark gold then stopped. She looked back at Minerva and waited for her to say something.

"Excellent. Now all you have to do is say the password and you may enter into your rooms. Well, if you are all set I'll just be going along. If you need anything, there is floo powder on the mantle and you may call on anyone for assistance. Good evening Miss Wood."

"Thank you professor, really. Good night." She smiled at her and Minerva turned to go out the door. She had one hand on the handle then looked back at the young girl.

"It's a pleasure to have you here. See you in the morning." She opened the door and she left. The door clicked shut and Seda turned around to face the room. She stood there for a few moments then she inhaled slowly and let her chest swell up with air. She let out a small scream and then ran into the bedroom.

__


	8. Marble Marble Marble

Alrighty, onto chapter 8, WOO! It's exciting I know. I'm having so much fun writing this story because it's as if I get to step inside the HP world and control it for a while. I always liked reading fan fictions because I loved HP, but I never thought writing HP fiction would help pass the time until the new book or movie comes out. Why didn't I think of this earlier? Dumb me. Oh well. Anyway, I'm thoroughly enjoying myself and putting Snape under my control is utterly satisfying, not to mention a little mischievous. Enjoy!

Seda couldn't help the overwhelmingly happy sensation racing through her. She had to run. She was too excited not to. When she ran down the sitting room and turned right, into the bedroom, she stopped dead in her tracks. If it was possible she felt even more excited. Pure joy was leaping in her heart and she just couldn't believe her eyes.

On the left side was an exquisite four-poster bed. The wood was a matching dark cherry like the sitting room, and the poles on the bed extended up four feet from the top of the bed. The bed itself was about four feet off the ground and there was a wooden step about six inches tall to help her get on. The bedding was a dark red quilt. The top was plushed velvet and the underside was pure silk. It was so luxurious and the bed skirt was also of dark red velvet. There were dozens of throw pillows tossed on the bed, all of different fabrics and colors. Some were velvet, some silk, some fleece, some furry, and some a heavy quilted linen, but all in various shades of red, gold, dark green and dusty brown. They all had an assortment of different beading around the edge. The headboard was a matching color to the poles, but it had neat spiral designs in the middle that mirrored the footboard.

Gorgeous sheers in gold were draped from the ceiling down onto the bars running from each pole on the bed, and then fell gracefully to the floor. It was a bed found only in fairy tales, but it was all hers. At the foot of the bed was a chest, perfect for storing and sitting. To the right of the bed, on the wall left to the doorway, was a marvelous wardrobe in matching wood. Directly across from the bed was another fireplace, a little smaller, but still magnificent. It had a mirror on the wall above it. A squashy little chair with a footrest and a small, round card table with a tray were in front of it. Further into the room on the left side, near the far wall and next to the bed, was a set of French doors that lead out to a balcony. Red and Gold sheers also draped to the floor.

Directly across from the door way was a desk with small bookshelves on either side. Old world maps were on the wall above it. An antique globe was sitting to the left of the fireplace, sitting on old wooden spindles that were aged and nicked. It was beautiful though. Finally, across from the French doors was one more door that leads into a bathroom. A deep, wide bathtub with golden faucets was just to the left against the wall with a small window next to it. She could sit in the bath while looking out onto the grounds. A shower with glass doors was behind the tub in the left corner. Across the back wall was double sinks but there were no faucets. There was the oval hole for the sink but where the faucets should be were small statues of fairies standing on a bed of rocks. The water came pouring out of the cupped hands of the fairies and trickled down the rock beds like waterfalls. It was absolutely stunning. Then on the right side, behind a small wall was the toilet. It was almost like a little cubicle. And the thing that made it the most beautiful was that everything was marble. A soft, feathery, cream with flecks of gold.

The floors in the bedroom and sitting room were of marble, the fireplace was of marble and whatever else was left, like the furniture, was all made of the finest dark, cherry wood. It was so breathtaking she thought she was going to faint. She just wandered from room to room looking at all the furniture and objects. Then she finally realized that she needed to unpack.

She walked back into the sitting room and sat down in a chair next to the fireplace. She pulled open her small bag that Snape had made from four larger ones and at once all her bags reappeared at her feet. "Woah" she said, but opened all her suitcases and began to sort through all the clothes and shoes and other things. She folded up her many pairs of socks, undergarments, skirts and pants and separated them into drawers in the wardrobe. Next she hung up all her shirts and sweaters in the closet of the wardrobe. She took the personal hygiene items like brushes, hair products, soaps, a toothbrush, toothpaste, and other things into the bathroom and stored them in the drawers and cupboards. Then she took the last of her items from home and put them in their place around the room. Picture frames, photo albums, keepsakes and other sentimental items.

Next she began to unwrap all her parcels from Diagon Alley. She hung all her robes in the opposite side of the wardrobe and placed her wand on the small coffee table in the sitting room. She put her cases of potion ingredients and the cauldron and ladle on the study table in the corner by the bay window. She piled the books there also. She took the quills, ink and rolls of parchment and put them in the desk. Finally she sat back down in the armchair and relaxed after an hour of unpacking. She picked up her wand out of its case and began to turn it over in her fingers. She examined every inch of it as if looking for microscopic clues, and then she held it out firmly in her hand pointing at one of the cups lying on the table.

'What was that spell McGonagall used to levitate my things' She thought very hard, then started saying words out loud. "Windigo levosa… widium lerosa…wagardio leversio…Wingardium leviarsa…Wingardium Leviosa" Then a spark shot out of her wand. "THAT"S IT! I almost did it, but she did something funny with her wrist. Hmmm…what was it"

She closed her eyes and thought hard again. She tried to remember what she was doing as she said the spell. She tried waving her hand and saying it… nothing happened. She tried flicking and saying it… nothing happened. She tried swishing it and saying it… nothing happened. Finally she tried a swish and flick and saying it… something happened.

The cup vibrated slightly then rose a few inches of the table. Just as she was becoming excited that it was working the cup clattered back onto the table. She tried again and again and again for almost five minutes until she concentrated very hard on the cup. It levitated several feet in the air and whichever way she moved her wand the cup would follow. She excited herself so much that she jumped out of the chair into the air and forgot about the cup at once. She saw it hurdling towards the floor and just inches above the ground she pointed her wand at it and made it stop in midair. "Whew" She said and pointed the cup back at the table. It laid itself gently on the surface and she lowered her wand.

She looked at it and was stunned that she could make it do magic like that. She was completely in awe and then she noticed how tense she felt. She looked at her watch and saw that it was almost nine o'clock. She thought that maybe she would grab a book and sit in the tub for a while. She walked about the rows of books and found an interesting one called "New with a Wand? Basic spells for beginners." She put the book under her arm and walked into the bathroom. She set it down on the window shelf next to the tub and turned on the tap. She hadn't noticed before but next to the 'Hot and Cold' taps were several others. She tried them all and was pleased by it. Bubbles, colored foams and thick soaps and oils spilled out into the tub.

When it was nearly full, she turned off the taps, pulled off her clothes then stepped inside the tub. She let out a small scream as she almost went under completely. This tub was much deeper then it appeared. It looked only a few feet deep, but in the middle it was almost like a pool. The middle of the tub was at least four and a half feet deep because she could stand and the water came up to her chest. She waded over to the edge opposite the taps and found it was not as deep. There was a nice little tub seat and she sat on it. She made herself comfy then reached over for the book. As she was reaching for the book her other hand was grasping the side so she wouldn't slip but it hit a button and jets started to pump out the side like a hot tub.

"Oh now I know I'm dreaming, this is too much." She said in pure disbelief. She had been here only a few hours and already she thought she was in a fantasy. She soaked for nearly forty-five minutes and had gotten through two chapters in the spell book when she realized she was becoming a human prune. She reached for a towel and got out the tub. She wrapped it around herself and reached to the bottom of the tub for the plug, but she couldn't find one.

"Hmmm" She said as she was feeling around the bottom. She took her arm out of the water and looked around at the faucets. She shrugged to herself and said "Oh well, I'll find it tomorrow. What a nice tub this is, don't know what I'll ever do with out it." She said as she patted the main tap twice and the water disappeared. She almost didn't notice but then the gurgling noise came from a drain and she looked into the tub. "This is UNREAL," She shrieked with glee.

She walked into the bedroom and was going to pull out her pajamas from the drawers when a knock came from the door. She sighed then rolled her eyes shortly then said aloud "It couldn't wait a few minutes. Figures doesn't it, I'm in a towel." She was going to at least throw on a t-shirt but the knocking came again and louder this time. She ran to the door and pulled it open a crack. Her wet hair was dripping down her face and the water was blurring her eyes. Severus was standing at the door with his hand raised, ready to knock again. He saw her eye peering out from the crack and lowered his hand.

"Miss Wood, the Headmaster would like to see you." He paused. "I am not a criminal you know, you can open the door, and I won't attack you."

"I'm sorry professor, I just…wait, he wants to see me right now?" She said raising her eyebrows, but all Snape could see was an eyeball.

"Miss Wood, would you please open the door. It's hard to talk at an eyeball."

"Professor, I can't."

"Why not, are you ill? I have healing potions if you would like one."

"No, I'm not ill sir."

"Then come along then, he would like to see you, at this moment."

"I can't see him right now professor."

"Are you certain you are not ill, you silly girl. If not come with me and why haven't you opened the door yet?"

Seda could feel herself becoming annoyed, just like Severus was becoming annoyed. "Because…" She yanked open the door to expose herself soaking wet and in nothing but a towel. "This is why. I would prefer to see the Headmaster in clothes if you don't mind." She said clutching the towel with one hand and the other she placed on her hip.

Severus raised his eyebrows and he had nowhere to look but at the dripping wet girl in front of him. He was stunned at how different she looked in just a towel and wet hair. "Oh… I'm sorry Miss Wood. If you would like to become clothed I will wait for you." He said looking directly into her blue eyes. He saw a drop of water balance on her eyelashes and he wanted to watch it fall down her face, across her smooth skin… He shook his head to clear that thought out of his mind.

"Give me just a minute professor, and I'll be ready. Would you like to come in and wait?" She said as she was already turning to walk away. Snape stood in the doorway and watched her disappear into the bedroom.

He had no choice but to step inside and wait. He closed the door behind him and walked over to the fireplace. He looked at the wand sitting on the table and the books piled next to it. Then he looked over at the mantle and stared at the pictures in the frames. There was one in particular that caught his eye. He moved in a bit closer and studied it. It looked like Seda, but she was much younger here. She was probably about ten or eleven. She was wearing a dance costume and she was in the middle of a group of other girls her age, also in the same costume. Everyone was looking at the camera but Seda's eyes were looking up at something. There was a shiny little orb in the upper right hand corner of the picture, which looked very similar to a wood fairies orb. If his eyes were correct she was definitely looking right at it. The sunlight was highlighting her face and her eyes lit up in the picture. He could see the reflection of the fairy orb in her blue eyes and she looked so… angelic was probably the word. He stared at the picture and couldn't seem to take his eyes away from it but then he heard her voice in the other room.

"I'm ready professor" And she came walking in the room with a clip in between her teeth. She had her hands up at the back of her head and she was twisting her hair into a knot then she took the clip from her mouth and put it tightly into her hair. "I'm all set sir." She said walking to the door and he came around to the door too.

She opened the door and led the way out. Severus was walking right behind her when suddenly she stopped and he collided with her. "Ouch… sorry sir."

"Is this a normal thing to do in America; walk along then stop abruptly so those behind you crash unexpectedly?" He said as he stepped back from the girl.

"No professor. It's just that I have no clue where I'm going."

"Clearly" He said almost in a snarl but composed himself. He'd been back only a few hours and already he was contemplating about detentions.

Seda looked a little embarrassed but spoke up again. "I don't know where the Headmasters office is located."

"If you can follow me, without colliding, we will head up to his office." He said as he began to lead the way. He went right around the corner then down the hallway, turned left into the staircase then started to climb upward.

Seda was just noticing how his cloak billowed out behind him as he walked when he stopped and she almost collided with him. Luckily she was several steps down and didn't crash.

"This step here," He was pointing in front of him. "Is a trick step. Avoid it if you can, or your leg will go through the stair and you will be stuck until someone offers to help you out." He smirked then continued up the stairs, skipping the trick stair.

Seda nodded to herself and took his word for it. They climbed another few steps then he got off at the third floor landing. He went strait into a corridor then went left down another. When he reached the end of it he said "Sugar Quills" to the stone gargoyles and they sprang to life. A staircase was revealed and he stepped onto it. Seda did the same and found they were spiraling upwards. They came to a stop and Snape walked toward a door with a golden knocker. He opened the door and Seda came in right behind him. She looked at the circular room and her heart skipped a beat. She thought her room was amazing but it was nothing compared to Dumbledores. She walked in further to the room and saw Dumbledore standing behind his large desk. In front of him, sitting on a large book, was a tatty and ripped old hat. Snape stepped off to the side and Seda stood alone in front of the old hat and the old wizard. She was a bit confused but didn't say anything.

Dumbledore smiled at her and then he spoke in a low but cheerful voice. "Welcome child, to your first Sorting Hat ceremony."


	9. Sorting, Sleep and Spells

Here I am again. Has anyone started to notice the flare starting to flicker inside our dear Snapey? I'm not trying to rush into the romance yet because it would ruin the story if the characters were not being… well their character. I like keeping things subtle and you'll know when things are starting to build up to an explosion I guess you could say. But for now I'm laying things out in the open and getting all set for take off, then the action will come in. I know... I can't wait either. Oh, don't you wish you could have a bedroom like that too, I do. Toodles!

Seda felt a shock of electricity shoot through her body up to her head. She began to feel a little dizzy but she stood where she was.

"I'm going to be sorted… right now? But I haven't prepared… what do I have to do professor?" Seda said in one rushed breath and began to twiddle her fingers. She didn't know they would be doing this tonight. What if they were going to ask her questions, what if she didn't know any of the answers. Would they think her not worthy enough of being sorted at all? These thoughts raced around her head and she couldn't stand straight.

Dumbledore told her to sit down and she sat. Then he smiled at her and leaned forward over the desk. "Relax child. There will be no test. I will place the Sorting Hat on your head and it will decide where you belong. No questions or required answers necessary."

Seda nodded a few times then took a few slow breaths to herself. Even though she was nervous she was actually eager to find out what House she would be in. She just didn't realize that it was going to happen the night she arrived. Well, better now to get it over with then dwell on it. She said she was ready and she scooted to the edge of the chair so she could sit up properly.

Dumbledore picked up the hat and moved around the table. Instead of placing it on her head right away he held it for a moment so she could see it. Then a seam started opening and it began to talk. Seda bugged her eyes out at it but remained quiet.

"Welcome to Hogwarts, we hope you plan to stay. The finest school in the land, and yet it's far away. From a distance you have traveled, across the mighty sea. But try us out and try me on, I'll tell where you should to be." The hat closed its mouth and said no more. Dumbledore then placed it on her head and it fell over her eyes. She couldn't see anything but black and then the hat began to speak again very quietly.

"Hmmm… a difficult choice this is. I see that you are fair and loyal but ambitious as well. An excellent mind, very clever you are. Yet your heart seems to be strong and brave, so where to place you?" Seda closed her eyes and imagined what it would be like to not be chosen at all. What if she wasn't sorted into anything, obviously the hat didn't know what to do. Maybe she wasn't worthy of studying at Hogwarts, perhaps it was too late. But she thought hard. She wanted to stay at Hogwarts; she wanted to prove she was capable of learning magic. She wasn't going to let a few years stand in her way. The hat continued to talk quietly. "You want to prove yourself worthy do you? I see that your intelligence, loyalty and ambition get you far, but you are willing to take any challenge that is laid before you. All these qualities are the making of a powerful wizard. I know where you belong…" And then it shouted out loud. "Gryffindor!"

Seda opened her eyes. She couldn't believe she was actually chosen to a House. She was so worried she wasn't going to be picked at all but that was all behind her now. As Dumbledore took the hat off her head she was beaming from ear to ear. She still couldn't believe she was sorted, but she was very pleased with herself. Perhaps she would read up on Gryffindor House while she was here. Since she was part of it now she thought she should know something about it.

"Excellent." Dumbledore said as he placed the hat back on the desk. "A fine choice, congratulations Seda. Don't you agree Severus?" He said still looking at Seda, but his eyes were sparkling and she could see the slightest smirk under his long, white beard.

Seda looked passed the old wizard to see Snape standing by the window. He nodded and then said " Yes Headmaster. Congratulations Miss Wood." He looked into her eyes for a moment then pulled out his watch from inside his robes. "I must be heading back Headmaster, I still have things to prepare tonight for that potion you requested."

"Ah, yes, yes. If you would also please escort our new Gryffindor to her rooms on your way that would be excellent. Thank you Severus." He patted Seda on the back and she turned to go towards the door, behind Snape.

When she was just about to step onto the staircase she looked back at Dumbledore over her shoulder and said "Good night Professor Dumbledore." And she beamed at him, still unable to deflate her happiness. He winked at her and then she closed the door.

As she and Snape were standing on the revolving stairs she broke the silence with a question. She was going to ask before but she had forgotten. "Professor…"

"Yes Miss Wood."

"What was that beautiful bird sitting in the Headmasters office? I've never seen anything like it."

"That was Fawkes. He is a phoenix. They are very magical and very rare, and extremely loyal to their owner."

"Oh, has he had him long?"

"Yes, he's been around for quite a while. When it is time for them to die they burst into flames then it is reborn from its ashes. The bird has been with the Headmaster for many years."

"That's very interesting. I would love to have a Phoenix." She said more to herself then out loud. Snape must have figured that because he didn't remark.

They walked in silence all the way down to the second floor corridor. Then Seda asked one more question. "Professor I wondered if I could ask you something?"

"You just did Miss Wood." He said slightly sarcastically.

"Ha, very funny. No, I wondered if you knew of any books about the four houses. I'm interested in learning a bit more about them and the school as well."

"Well, you could read 'Hogwarts: A History' but it is rather long, but plenty of information if you need it. You can find a copy of it in the library."

"Thanks sir. Well good night, I think I can find my way from here." She told him as they turned right in to the corridor and stopped.

"Alright. Do you know where the library is located?"

"Yes, it's just down that other hall there. Thanks for the reference professor. See you tomorrow."

"I see that you have found your way around some what. Good evening…" Seda nodded and turned to leave, but Snape added one last comment. "And congratulations on becoming a Gryffindor. I'm sure you'll find you like it very much, although… we Slytherins are just as noble as you Gryffindors." He said with a small smirk.

Seda smiled at him and then said quietly "I feel a sense of rivalry coming between us professor. I hope you think no less of me because I wasn't sorted into your House. But just so you know, it was considering me for Slytherin… along with Ravenclaw." She said smiling even more and lowering her eyes slightly.

"Ah, well it was Gryffindor in the end wasn't it? But that's just as well. Good luck…see you in the morning Miss Wood." He turned and swept down the stairs.

She could see his cloak swishing out behind him then slowly it disappeared. She smiled to herself and shook her head as she continued to her rooms. "He likes to have the last word doesn't he?" She said to herself as she walked along in silence. He's so complicated but… she got along with him ok, and she liked it that he was the way he was. It's so much more fun to have small complications in life, or it would just be boring.

"Cherry jellybeans" She said to her door and it opened by itself. She had forgotten that she was now living in this beautiful room that was more like an apartment, and she frightened herself when she almost forgot where she was. When she remembered that she had already unpacked so she thought maybe she would turn in. It was getting late and she wanted to get up early tomorrow so she could get a good look around.

She walked into the bedroom and pulled open her wardrobe drawers. She undressed, again, and then put on a pair of silk pajamas. She walked back into the sitting room, blew out all the candles and then prodded at the fireplace to make it die down. She returned to her room and walked over to the French doors and pulled them open a crack. She liked the night breeze when she was sleeping. She also poked at the fireplace in the bedroom so it would die down gradually and then she returned to the bed. She reached over the top, which was rather difficult because the bed came up right to her ribs, and tossed the throw pillows onto the floor then pulled down the comforter and fluffed the already fluffy pillows.

"Hmmm…" She said as an idea came to her. She walked around to the other side, pulled open the sheers so there was an opening, and then walked over to the desk. She turned around and faced the bed. She took a deep breath then sprinted at the bed. Just as she was nearing a few feet from it she leaped into the air and landed on her back on top of the bed. As she leaped she let out a joyful yell, then sank into the wonderfully soft bed. She remained on her back with a smile on her face then kicked her legs up into the air in a wave of excitement. She let her legs flop down on the bed then she rolled over onto her side and crawled underneath the covers.

She had never been so comfortable in her life. She really felt like she was a princess in a palace and that she would wake up and she would be back in her dorm room. She hugged the velvety covers against her chest and watched the curtains on the French doors blow in the breeze. She could here the sounds of the forest and the softly singing night birds gently calling there loved ones in a humming tune. She could also here water rippling so she assumed there was a lake near by. Owls hooted and she heard the flapping and brushing of their wings and feathers and she heard howls in the distance. Slowly but surely she was drifting off to sleep. Her breathing was becoming deeper, and slower, and her heart calming to a peaceful beat. But as she drifted somewhere on a cloud, the smile never faded from her face. And then she slept, the whole night thru. Not a sound could wake her from this peaceful rest and she had finally, truly felt at home.

Seda woke the nest morning to a shower of sunlight spilling on the bed. She opened her eyes and was drowning in warm, fresh light and cool air. She took a deep breath and stretched to her body's full extent. Then she let her arms fall heavily to her sides and she pulled off the covers. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and let them dangle several feet off the floor for a minute before she hopped off. The French doors were still open a crack and she could hear the birds chirping outside. She walked over to them and pulled them open as far as they would go. She walked out onto the balcony and inhaled the misty air. She could see the lake underneath the balcony and the forest was just at her fingertips, as if it were floating on the glassy lake itself. Just above the treetops of the forest was a range of mountains. Clouds cut off the peaks but the body of the mountains was visible. They were majestic purples and pinks against the morning sun and she had never seen such a beautiful sight, just sitting plainly in front of her face. She could have stayed out there all day but she was becoming a bit chilly with only her pj's on, so she walked back inside and into the bathroom.

When she went to wash her hands she noticed there were no handles to turn on the water. So she placed her hands under the cupped hands of the fairy and water began to spill out. She grabbed the bar of soap and lathered up her hands, then rinsed them. After drying them off she walked back into the bedroom over to the wardrobe. She pulled open the doors and drawers and examined what there was to wear. She pulled out a pair of jeans, a purple shirt, undergarments and a pair of black shoes, and then she looked at all her new robes. She decided to wear a black one with gold embroidery around the cuffs and collar.

She laid everything on the bed and walked into the bathroom, grabbed a brush, then went in the sitting room. She sat down in one of the chairs by the fireplace and began to brush out her long, wavy, dark brown hair. After getting out all the tangles she set down the brush and picked up her wand. She tried to do the spell she had mastered last night.

"Wingardium Leviosa" She said and aimed right at her brush. It floated into the air and she made it stay there for a few minutes. While she was making it bob up and down, a knock came at the door. She got up with the wand still pointing at the brush and opened the door. Severus was standing there, again. She still had it pointing at the brush when she said "Good morning… professor." And she glanced over at the brush, which was still bobbing up and down.

"I am to tell you that breakfast is in the Great Hall, as always. When you are ready you can come down. It is served until nine o'clock." Severus said, this time looking at all of Seda and not just an eyeball. He noticed her arm extended to her left and looked from her eyes to her hand, which was holding a wand. "Are you exercising Miss Wood, or are you actually using your wand?" He said with his eyebrows lowered this time.

"Oh, I'm just practicing a spell professor. I saw Professor McGonagall use it last night so I taught myself how to do it. I'll just get dressed and come down to breakfast." She said as she lowered her wand.

"Wait a moment… which spell did you manage to learn already?"

"Um, levitation I think. You know, making things fly, see?" And she opened the door all the way so she could show him her progress. Severus poked his head into the room and saw the brush floating in mid-air. Seda made it lower itself back to the table and then she lowered her wand. "Wingardium Leviosa. It took me a few tries, but I got it after a few minutes."

"Impressive Miss Wood." He said looking back to her. "Now, shall I wait for you or can you find your way to the Great Hall?"

"I think I may get lost, would you mind waiting professor?" She said and then bit her lower lip. He nodded and she offered him a seat in the room. He sat down and waited while she dashed off into the bedroom. He looked up and saw the same picture on the mantle and stared at it like he did the previous night. Then he tapped his fingers on the armrests and gazed around the room.

It was funny he thought; she had been here less then twenty four hours and twice he was at her rooms and had to wait for her to get dressed. That kind of situation happens often to him, in fact never. It amused him for several moments until he heard her come back in the room.

She was wearing jeans and black shoes, and she was wearing a robe. He almost didn't recognize her because he always saw her in muggle clothes, which means no robe. She looked more like a witch now that she was in proper clothing. Well the robe was proper. He stood up as she walked nearer and couldn't help but look from her face down to her feet and back up again. He was simply stunned at how nice she looked in wizarding attire.

"I'm not sure I'm hungry yet after all I had last night." She said smiling.

Severus walked over to the door and opened it for her then said something. "You may want to bring that with you." He said, pointing at her wand.

"Ok." She shrugged and picked up her wand. She put it in her pocket inside the robe and then preceded out the door Severus was holding. They walked down the corridor, down the stairs and into the Entrance Hall. She then walked through the open doors of the Great Hall and saw that the four house tables had been put back. She followed Severus up to the staff table, walked behind it and he pulled out a chair for her next to him. She thanked him then sat down. Lupin was on her left and next to him was McGonagall and in the center stood Dumbledores chair, but empty.

After looking down the table she heard a door open to her right. Dumbledore came in and strolled behind them to his seat. He sat down and poured himself some pumpkin juice then he looked down at Seda, who was pouring herself some orange juice. She hadn't noticed him looking and she didn't look up until he said "Congratulations Miss Wood… on your first successful incantation." By the time she looked up at him he was already buttering toast, but Lupin and McGonagall were looking at her. She didn't know if she should smile or not, so she just stared at him blankly.


	10. Of Squid and Dog

On to chapter ten now, I'm on a roll aren't I? Yes, it seems so, but it won't be like this forever. Soon I won't be able to post as often as I would like to, but I'm not going to abandon the story. I will be trying my hardest to get new chapters in every few days, but I can't guarantee it. Anyway, hope you like the story so far. Ideas are pouring onto the paper right now, so it's going smoothly, for now. I'll probably be getting stuck some time in the future, but let's not think about that. I'll let you get on to reading the chapter. Enjoy!

Seda continued to look at the Headmaster, with a loss of words because she had no idea how he knew. The only person she told was Severus, and that was only five minutes ago, and they hadn't left each other's side. She looked to her right and gave Snape a quizzical look and Snape returned the same expression. As long as he'd known the old wizard, he was still amazed by his mysteriousness and cleverness. She looked back down the table towards the Headmaster and was just opening her mouth to ask how he knew when Lupin beat her to it.

"Is this true? You have learned an incantation already?" He said while cutting his sausage and eggs.

"Well, yes. I saw Professor McGonagall use a levitating charm so I tried it out for myself." She said while buttering her toast.

"Oh very good work Miss Wood. I told you that soon enough you would be doing magic in your sleep." She said very pleased that she had influenced the new girl.

"Thank you professor, it was quite easy once I remembered the correct words and wand movement you did so nicely yourself." She smiled over at her then returned to her toast.

"Albus has also mentioned that you were sorted into Gryffindor. Congratulations Seda, I know you will enjoy it. I was a Gryffindor myself." Lupin said smiling at her then put a slice of sausage in his mouth.

"Thanks sir. I wasn't sure where it was going to place me actually. It was having a hard time deciding."

"Was it now? Usually it only takes a moment or two before it makes its choice."

"It was considering me for Gryffindor along with Slytherin _and_ Ravenclaw. It took quite awhile before it shouted out its answer. I was positive for a second that it wasn't going to sort me at all, but thankfully it did." She said as she took a bite out of her toast.

"That's very interesting. You must be well rounded to make it difficult for the hat. What do you think Headmaster?" Lupin said turning to Dumbledore.

"Yes, well even the hat works in mysterious ways in which I do not know, but he always chooses wisely. The hat has its reasons for making the choices it does, so we must trust it to lead us in the right direction. It hasn't failed yet I believe." He said smiling then returned to his porridge.

They all ate breakfast with side conversations here and there. Hagrid joined them just as Seda was finishing her eggs. Severus spoke to her as he was placing his napkin on the plate. "If you have no other obligations this afternoon, perhaps we can start studying potions."

Seda turned to look at him. "Oh, that would be great professor. What time do you want to start?"

"I'm free after lunch. Meet me here with your cauldron and ingredients when you are done and we can go over some basic potions." He stood up to leave.

"Alright then," She stood up too. "I'll see you after lunch." She smiled and then followed him down the steps onto the landing. They both started walking to the door but Seda stopped and turned around. Dumbledore was coming out from behind the table too and she wanted to ask him about earlier during breakfast. She waited for him to start down the aisle and she approached him.

"Excuse me professor, but could I ask you a question?"

"Certainly. You want to know how I knew about your successful spell did you not?"

"Well… yes." She said slightly confused. How did he do that she thought.

"You see dear child, I have ways of knowing things without having to be present. I'm also an accomplished Legilimens, so that helps too." He said quietly, looking down at her over his glasses.

"Oh…" She didn't know what else to say. "Well, is it alright if I look around the grounds?"

"Oh yes. Go wherever your feet lead you, but not to far into the forest. I'm sure you have heard the reasoning."

"Thank you sir. Professor McGonagall told me."

"Splendid. Well, off you go… Venture well and explore much." He said smiling then patted her once on the back. Seda nodded at him then continued to walk to the Entrance Hall. She stepped up to the enormous doors that led out to the grounds and pushed them open. She stepped outside and let the doors close behind her. She inhaled the sweet scent drifting in the air then set off down the path.

Seda started walking down the path by Hagrid's Hut, then turned left and started towards the lake. The trees were swaying gently in the breeze and she could see birds flying in and out of the dark green leaves. She enjoyed taking in all the beauty of the castle, which she noticed was gigantic, and the delicateness of the landscape. It looked like a very old and fragile portrait that she was afraid of harming.

She continued down the path and soon came to the damp grass. The dewdrops tickled her legs as she strolled over to the lake. As she neared it she could hear the clapping of the water against the rock beds. She passed by a tall tree and headed right to the shore. When she got just to the waters edge she paused and stared at the magnitude of it. It looked like glass but it was rippling gently.

She picked up a few small stones and threw them into the lake as far as her arm would let her. After the first three, one of them came flying back at her. She looked behind her shoulder to see it landing just several feet away then looked back at the lake. A giant tentacle was waving out of the water and she squinted to get a better look. More tentacles were rising out of the water and then the body of a giant squid appeared at the surface. It looked like it was swimming for her so she backed away. It was waving its arm-like tentacles frantically at her and finally she raised her arms and did the same. After a few waves she lowered them and the squid sank back into the water.

"Brilliant, he just wanted to say hello. Simply brilliant." She said in awe to herself. After looking at the glassy lake for a few more minutes she headed back up towards the castle. Instead of turning right back to the front doors, she went straight. She followed another path that looked like it led to a series of small greenhouses.

Seda drifted towards the greenhouses and passed by a gathering of large trees. A gust of wind blew across her face and into her hair. It lifted her hair as if someone was running his or her hands through it. It felt lovely and she closed her eyes for a second to capture the moment. She let the wind pass over her body and whip back across the sky and as it did it sounded like someone was cooing her name as it sailed in the breeze. She opened her eyes to see if someone was around but she was completely alone. She continued pacing to the greenhouses and went to try the door, but it was locked.

"Darn" She said aloud and then she continued to walk away from it. She headed back in the direction of the castle and then paused to decide where else she could explore. She was standing, staring at the castle and thinking maybe she would go read some spell books when something very large, and heavy came thumping behind her.

She had barely just turned around when an enormous black furry something pounced on her chest and knocked her over backwards. She was thrown on her back and she let out a howl and, when she looked up to see what had done it, a slobbery dog began to lick at her face. She tried to sit up but it had its front paws on her stomach. She finally was able to roll onto her stomach and push herself up and the dog jumped, again, onto its hind legs and placed its enormous paws on her shoulders. It was huge, the same height as her. She pushed it down but gave in as it sat there staring at her. She couldn't help but fall in love at first sight when it looked at her with giant puppy eyes.

"Awww… you are sooooo cute. You're a big puppy aren't you?" She said dropping to her knees and rubbing behind his ears. "Yes you are… but where did you come from hmmm?" She continued to pat his giant head and looked around for some kind of owner.

"Let's see if we can't find where you came from." She stood up.

She looked around again and spotted the little hut. "Did you come from over there?" She said pointing at the hut, but she had the feeling the dog had no idea what she meant. He just looked at her and panted. "Alright then, we'll look together. Maybe _you _can show me around. You seem to know where you are going. Come on doggie." She patted his side and he stood, on all fours this time, and trotted off beside her.

"I wonder if you belong to Hagrid." She thought out loud and the dog gave a woof. "Is Hagrid your owner little doggie?" She said stopping to look down at him. He gave another few woofs then set off at a run towards the hut. "I'll assume that was a yes." She yelled as she ran after the dog.

The dog ran up the steps to the front of the hut and scratched at the door. Seda came up behind him and knocked. No one answered. Seda knocked again and still no one answered. She looked down at the dog and said, "He's not here." Then she turned around and sat on the bottom step. The dog followed her down and sat on the step next to her with his tongue out. She looked over at him as he stared out towards the castle.

"You must be Fang." He turned his slobbery face to look at her and gave a little bark. "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Fang." She said cheerfully as Fang put his paw on her lap. She laughed and then patted it. He removed it then laid his head on her thigh. She stroked his ears for a few minutes while looking out into the grounds.

All of a sudden Fang's ears perked up. He lifted his head and stared at the castle. Seda looked over too and saw Hagrid coming down the path. "Here he is Fang." She said as she stood up. Fang didn't run off to meet Hagrid like he normally did, he sat there, plopped on the ground next to her. She looked down at him and smiled then looked up again to see Hagrid walking up to them.

"I see you met Fang." He said smiling at her behind his beard.

"Yes, we… uh… ran into each other." She smiled. "He's very friendly."

"Yep, e'd never hurt a fly, but 'e don't know 'is own strength, Fang." He looked down at him and patted him on the head. "How did yeh get out yeh dozy dog?"

"He's really sweet. Is he feeling any better? Last night you mentioned he wasn't well."

"Oh yeah. I gave him a bit o' brandy and fire whisky with a bit o' herbs and 'e perked righ' up. He's a good dog. So, are yeh enjoyin 'urself yet? Heard you were made a Gryffindor."

"Yes. The castle is amazing. I'm going to do some reading about the Houses, so that way I'll at least know something about my House. I have absolutely no knowledge of anything here or about the wizarding world in general. I only just found out a few weeks ago what I was. It just… happened so fast." She said while scratching Fangs ears.

"Bet it came as a shock, but yeh were relieved I'd imagine. Gryffindor is a great house. I was one me self."

"Were you? That's neat. Everyone I've met so far has been a Gryffindor, except Professor Snape, yet I don't know what Dumbledore was. I'm guessing he was one too?"

"Yep, Dumbledore was a Gryffindor too. Great man 'e is, very trustin and all. E's the greatest wizard tha's been around for a long time."

"Really? He looks rather wise, and intelligent."

"Yep, great man. Wouldn't be 'ere today if it wasn't for 'im. Anyway… u like it 'ere so far?

"Yes, it's all very fascinating." She rubbed Fang on his back. "Do you know what time lunch starts Hagrid?" She said remembering she had to meet Snape later.

"Not hungry already are yeh?"

"Oh no. It's just that I'm meeting Professor Snape after lunch to start on some potions and I don't want to be late."

"Ah, lunch is served from noon 'til two. Startin potions eh? Well, yeh won' find no one better then Professor Snape to teach yeh. Genius I'd say when it comes to tha'. Very clever, but don't go gettin on 'is bad side. E's not one to fool around, but e's a good man all the same."

"Yeah, I've noticed that about him. Well thanks Hagrid for your help. I'm going to run to my room to read some books." She stood up and patted Fang one more time. "Bye Fang."

"See yeh around Seda." He waved at her as she headed up to the castle.

"Bye" She shouted as she set off up the path.

When Seda reached the front doors she pushed them open and set off up the stairs. She turned right and then started off to the stairs. She walked all the way up to the second floor and paused when she got to the landing. She was deciding if she should run to the library now, but it was already ten o'clock and she wanted to do some more reading in her rooms. She decided she would go later. She went right don the corridor then went left to her rooms.

"Cherry jellybeans" she said and the door opened. She surprised herself at how natural this was becoming to her now. She felt behind but she didn't feel out of place like she did at the university, or growing up. She walked over to the coffee table and threw herself into one of the chairs. She picked up the book she was reading last night and buried her face into the next chapter.

An hour passed as she finished another couple chapters. She yawned and then looked at her watch. It was eleven o'clock now so she had another hour 'til lunch. She decided that she would practice with her wand again. She took it out from inside her robes and wiped it off. She flipped thru the pages until she came to a spell that looked interesting. It was a spell to make objects come to you.

She read the instructions and then stood up. She looked around the room and spotted something she wanted to make move. Seda pointed her wand towards the mantle where a few picture frames sat. She squared her shoulders and then said "accio frame" in a stern voice. Nothing happened. She tried it again and still nothing happened. She looked down at the page to see if she was doing it right. Maybe if she concentrated a bit more she thought. So she closed her eyes and said it again. When she opened them one of the frames was slowly moving but as she forgot about concentrating it dropped to the floor. She dived to catch it and just barely made it. She thought maybe she should put some pillows down, just in case she forgot again.

After laying down some pillows she resumed her position. She squared up, pointed her wand and thought very hard. "Accio frame" She said more demanding and the frame lifted off the mantle and floated slowly her way. She caught it in her outstretched hands and smiled to herself. "Neat. I'm really doing it."

She aimed her wand at another frame and repeated. This time she was so concentrated it raced into the air and hit her on the forehead. "Ouch" She rubbed it then practiced some more. Soon she moved to objects further away, each time progressing to bigger objects. When she made a towel from the bathroom zoom into her hands she was convinced she was doing it properly. She beamed and skipped up into the air. Excited with herself she began putting everything back. It was now eleven thirty, so she still had a half hour.

Seda decided she would gather her cauldron and potion ingredients and head off to the Great Hall. She put her wand in her pocket, and then loaded the ingredients along with a notebook, quill and ink into her cauldron. She decided she would grab that book she was reading too, so she could keep herself busy while waiting for lunch.

When Seda stepped into the Great Hall it was completely empty. "Well, at least it will be quiet." So she headed off towards the staff table but when she got there she felt strange sitting up there by herself. So she headed back to one of the four long tables and put her cauldron down. She sat down on the bench and took out the book she was reading, a notebook, a quill and an inkpot. She unscrewed the lid, dipped her quill and began to take notes as she read.

A few minutes had passed since she started reading when a low, soothing voice came from behind her. "You're early."


	11. Making the Potion and Midnight Rehearsal

Ooooh yay, a scene with Severus is coming up, Woo! It's definitely becoming more fun to write, and I just can't stop but jot down all the ideas I have. Last night for example, I finished writing chapter ten around midnight and I was going to bed because I have to work, but a scene I had been thinking about suddenly popped into my head. I didn't want to lose the ideas so I sat back down and wrote it completely. I finished it at four in the morning; it's brilliant I have to say, so it was worth it. I wish I could post it now, but it won't come in 'til much later in the story. I'm writing as fast as I can to get there, but I don't want to rush the story along, it will get boring then. All right, just wanted to share that piece of exciting information. Enjoy the next chapter!

Seda's head snapped up and she looked behind her to see Snape standing there, with his arms folded up in his robes. That position amused her actually then she spoke. "Better early then late professor." She said smiling as she turned back to her book. She was reading on about how to make your wand light up and then go out.

"Yes, I suppose that's true. I thought you would be out in the grounds or in the library looking for 'Hogwarts: A History'. I wasn't expecting to see you studying already.

"I _was_ out in the grounds professor. I met Mr. Fang… he's very friendly… and slobbery."

Severus thought for a moment…Mr. Fang? Oh, she meant the dog. "I see."

"Actually he knocked me over when I wasn't looking, so that was our introduction. He's very large, but he's very sweet." She said while scribbling down some notes. "I have a dog, but he's at home. I miss him a lot."

"Fascinating. You like animals then?" Severus said as he stood with his arms still folded in his robes.

"I'm very fond of them yes, especially dogs. I'm a softy when it comes to them. I'm not particularly fond of cats though, probably because I would die if I touched one. So I try to avoid them if I can." She said still reading and writing.

"You must be allergic to cats then. Pity, because we have quite a few here."

Seda turned around to look at him. "Really? Well, as long as they don't come near me I'll be ok, but if they do I'm a gonner."

"What happens to you precisely?"

"Oh, it's terrible. It usually only takes a few minutes after I've come in contact with one. My eyes puff up and swell, my trachea closes up and then my lungs collapse because of lack of oxygen. I start coughing up blood and sometimes I black out. I had to be rushed to the emergency room several times, and thankfully it was just in time." She said looking up at him and a fearful look came over her face as she put her hands on her chest.

"That doesn't sound like a pleasant experience. I have potions for allergies if you would like one. It may help in your condition."

"Really professor? What will it do?" She said fascinated.

"I knew someone once with allergies not different from yours and I discovered a simple potion that will allow the person to be around the source of trouble. It will also heal the process of going into a fatal state if you take it after you've come in contact with it."

"That sounds great. Hagrid was right"

"About what?"

"He mentioned what a master you are when it comes to Potions sir. He said he thought you a genius. I see what he meant. You seem to know what you are doing professor, and that is all very well. Could I have some of that potion? How much is it?"

She looked up at him with an innocent face. Severus saw her eyelashes flutter against her skin and her eyes were just sparkling from behind them. 'Stop' he thought. She was so deprived when it came to knowing anything about the wizarding world, but she tried, it seemed, to learn all there is know. At least she had a sense of duty and priority, unlike many Gryffindors who prized on boldness and bravery.

"There is no charge for the potion Miss Wood. When you join me later in my office I will give you a bottle." He was slightly and distantly... somewhat flattered that she thought he was a genius, but he knew she was just impressed because she knew nothing about it. It was true though. He was a master in Potions, and no one understood his passion for it. He supposed that's why he came to be so remarkable at it. It was his escape from the ordinary world.

Footsteps came echoing in to the hall and they both turned to see the source. Lupin was strolling down the aisle. He looked from Snape to Seda to the book, notes and cauldron in front of her then looked back at Snape. "You haven't demanded a potion of her already have you Severus?" He said smiling.

Snape gave a sly smirk. Then Seda answered for him. "I was just reading about some basic spells on my own professor. I haven't started any potion brewing yet." She said and looked up at Lupin. She gave him a small smile.

"Studying already? I see that you are wasting no time in catching up. That's excellent."

"Well, I'm just very eager to get started professor. It's all still very fascinating to me."

"That's all just fine. I also see that you have decided to dress like us. You look much more like a witch now I have to admit."

"Thanks sir." And then more footsteps came echoing into the hall. This time it was McGonagall who came striding towards them.

"Are we having a party?" She said sarcastically. She walked over to the group and looked down at Seda, also noticing the items laid before her. "For Merlin's sake, you haven't made her start studying potions yet have you Professor Snape? She only just arrived."

Snape was becoming irritable as people kept accusing him of demanding things of the girl already. "No professor. Miss Wood here has been studying of her own free will. I haven't made her concoct a polyjuice potion yet." He said, also smirking at her.

"Ah. Well, if he rushes you Miss Wood, be sure to whack him with your ladle and remind him you are new." She said smiling and then bowing at Snape.

Seda laughed while Snape rolled his eyes. He was so used to McGonagall having a go at him, for constantly pushing his students, but he also knew she was just as strict. He tended to just ignore her and get on with his day.

"Oh, lunch is ready. Let's eat shall we?" Lupin said and Seda turned around towards the staff table to see food sitting there. It hadn't been there a few minutes ago. They all headed forward and Seda continued to scribble down a few last words.

McGonagall saw her and paused to turn around. "Come on Miss Wood, you do not have to sit there and study. You'll have all year to do that." She smiled at her and beckoned her forward. Seda closed her notebook and book then headed up to the table. She sat in the same seat she did at breakfast and then enjoyed a well-prepared lunch.

After she was done eating, she and Snape preceded towards the dungeons. She gathered her things and followed Snape into the Entrance Hall. She was crossing over to the doorway that lead down to the dungeons when her quill fell out of her notebook. Instinctively, she took out her wand and said "accio quill". Snape whipped around to see the quill flying into her hands.

"Miss Wood, have you mastered another charm?" He said looking quite impressed.

"Well, yes. I read about it last night and taught myself. It's not difficult." She said not knowing what was wrong about it.

"Students don't learn that charm until, usually, their fourth year and you managed to master it after one night?"

"Well, I suppose I did, didn't I?" Seda said and feeling pleased with her self. Snape eyed her then turned back to head down the steps.

He unlocked the door to his office with his wand and went inside. Seda looked around at all the shelves stored with jars full of slimy objects and dead things.

"You can put your cauldron over there." He said pointing at a small table by the window.

Seda deposited her things on the table and walked over to the shelves. She looked up and down at all the jars and was absolutely fascinated with the contents. Snape was standing behind his desk as he watched her gaze at his collection of ingredients.

"If you would have a seat over here, we can go over a few simple potions." Seda turned around and walked over to the chair in front of his desk. She stood there, just as he did. He held out his hand to signal her to sit down and she sat. Snape turned his back to her and pulled out a book from the shelf behind him. He laid it on the desk in front of her and began to speak.

"This is a beginners book to the most basic potions. Here you will learn the standard qualities and requirements of a successful potion. It's crucial that you master these because a potion is an art not to be toyed with. Even the safest one can turn lethal if just the slightest instruction was incorrect. So, today we will start with a simple potion."

An hour later Seda stood over her cauldron stirring in crushed black beetles. The potion was starting to turn a light green and she lowered the heat under her cauldron and let it simmer. "Your potion should be a light green now, Miss Wood."

"It is professor." She timed it for one minute then stirred counter-clockwise four times. She added porcupine quills and then stirred once more. It turned a medium blue color and she took it off the flames. Snape came strolling over and bowed his head over the solution. He took a ladle and scooped some up into a small vial then capped it.

"Very good Miss Wood. You have successfully brewed a Tension-Relieving solution." He walked back to his desk and sat down. He began to write a few notes on some parchment. "You can clean up your cauldron. That will be good for today." He said leaning over his notes.

Seda poured the rest of her solution into a clear flask, and then washed out her cauldron at the washtub. Once it was dry, she loaded everything back into it. She walked over to Snape's desk and stood in front of it, waiting for him to look up.

"Yes Miss Wood?" He said without looking up at her.

"I was wondering if you could show me where that book is you told me about."

"It's in the library, as I've already told you." He continued to scribble notes.

"Yes, but I've never been in there. I don't know where anything is located. Professor McGonagall was telling me how marvelous the library is and how big it is. So… I'm not sure exactly where to look, professor."

Snape put his quill down and looked up at her. "If you insist, then give me just a moment. I have just a few notes left to write."

"Thank you sir." She smiled then picked up her cauldron and waited for him.

Snape opened the doors to the library fifteen minutes later. Seda looked around and almost fell backwards at the sight of it. It was… huge. It was bigger then any library she had ever seen. Ever since she was young she had been fascinated with books, all sorts, and she tended to lock herself away in the library whenever things were troubling her. She could live here, in the library, the rest of her life and die happy. She had never witnessed quite so many books at one time. Thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands, were stacked on walls tall and wide.

The glass ceiling brought in light and she could see the dust floating in the air. She inhaled… it smelled like books. She always liked the smell of books.

"Here you are Miss Wood. May you never be bored; there are plenty of books to keep you occupied. Now, you wanted 'Hogwarts: A History' which I believe is just over here. He turned right down a row, then up a flight of stairs. Just at the end of the hall, lined in books of all sizes, was a golden podium with a fat, old looking book sitting on it. Snape picked it up and handed it to Seda. "Ah, yes. This is it. This should keep you busy for awhile."

Seda took the book from him and her shoulders dropped by the wait of it. It had to be at least a thousand pages long. She rubbed one of her hands over the face and admired it. She couldn't wait to start reading.

Several minutes later she and Snape reached her rooms. She thanked him for taking her to the library and he nodded. He turned and glided back down the steps and Seda closed the door. She walked into the bedroom, tossed the book on the bed and then opened the French doors. She loved fresh air and a gentle breeze. It was relaxing. She took off her robe and shoes then jumped onto the bed. She rolled over onto her stomach and pulled the enormous book under her nose. She opened it and began to read.

Seda read for hours, not knowing it was after six o'clock. Her stomach made a noise and that was when she finally looked at her watch. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and then jumped off. She slipped back into her shoes and robe then headed down stairs for dinner. She was a little late, but she didn't really mind. She was too caught up in that book. She did that often; absorbed so much into a book that she had completely lost track of everything around her.

She strolled into the Great Hall and saw that Dumbledore along with McGonagall, Lupin, Hagrid and Snape were all seated there, eating their dinner and talking to one another. She also noticed another woman, whom she never met. She was sitting next to Hagrid. Dumbledore noticed Seda coming up to the staff table so he spoke out.

"Good to see you Seda. I'm glad you decided to join us for dinner. I don't believe you have met Madame Pomfrey yet."

"No, I haven't sir" She said as she was coming up behind the table. She stopped just next to Madame Pomfrey and looked down at her.

"It's a pleasure to finally see you dear." She said as she reached to shake her hand.

"Nice to meet you too. Are you a professor also?" Seda said giving the woman one of her luminous smiles.

"I'm the school nurse. So if you have any illness or injuries come see me dear."

Seda nodded at her and continued to her seat, in between Lupin and Snape. By the looks of it they were nearly finished, but Seda ladled her self some soup and poured a goblet of pumpkin juice.

Lupin looked over at her. "Severus was just telling us that you brewed your first potion today. How was it?"

"It was fine. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. It's rather enjoyable actually. It's neat to brew up potions and things. It reminds me of chemistry, so perhaps that's why I liked it." She spooned some soup into her mouth.

"Severus also mentioned that you mastered yet another charm. Is this true?" McGonagall looked down at her.

"Yes, it was 'accio' this time. It was fairly simple." McGonagall looked like she couldn't believe her ears. She narrowed her eyes at Severus then spoke to him in an accusing voice. "You didn't tell us she mastered the accio charm Severus." She snapped her head back at Dumbledore. "I can see your reason for faithfulness in the girl Albus. She's brilliant."

Seda tried not to listen. She ate her soup in silence and pretended to be interested with the spoon. She could hear Lupin mutter "wonderful" under his breath as he too finished off his soup. Seda glanced at Snape who was just finishing off a potato. Then Dumbledore spoke.

"Having faith and confidence in a person helps one become what they are. Talent can only take a person so far. It's guidance and encouragement that takes them to the end of their journey." He said in his misty voice quietly to McGonagall, but she had the feeling he wanted her to hear what he said. She looked down the table at him and she could see him wink out of the corner of his eye.

When Seda was finished eating she good night and headed back up stairs to her room. She sat in the chair by the fireplace that was burning now, and she didn't know who had done it, for almost a half hour, then she gazed up at the frames on the mantle. She pulled out her wand, pointed it and said "accio frame" and the picture of a younger Seda in a dance costume flew into her hands. She stared at it with a frown on her face. She missed dancing already.

Then she had an idea. She sprang out of the chair like a jack-in-the-box and rushed into the bedroom. She changed out of her robe and jeans into black capris and black sandals. She pulled open the door on the wardrobe and took out a small, black bag sitting on the bottom. She swung the bag over her shoulder then left her rooms.

She headed back down towards the Entrance Hall and instead of going into the Great Hall she passed it. A door just down the corridor was unlocked and she slipped inside. It looked like a ballroom. It was almost as wide and tall as the Great hall, but only half as long. There was a matching fireplace like that of the Great Hall and several small tables situated through out the room. She pushed all the tables to either side against the walls. When there was a fairly large area she sat down in the middle of the floor. She opened the small black velvety bag and then pulled out a pair of pink, satin Pointe shoes.


	12. Exotic Showers and Strange Dreams

I'm not even going to say much because I want to get right into the chapter. So here it is. Toodles!

Seda took off her sandals and slipped the Pointe shoes on her feet. She tied the ribbons around her ankles and then stuck her legs straight out in front of her. She rolled her ankles several times and then spread her legs out so she was sitting in a straddle position. She leaned over to the right and put her head down to her knee, then did the same on her left. She then reached out in the middle and put her stomach flat on the floor. She let her hips stretch out and she sighed at how nice it felt to be stretching again. She sat up, shook out her legs then she stood up. She rotated her arms several times each way then let them down to her sides. She pointed each foot, stretching the arches as far as she could make them go then slowly she rose up onto her toes.

It had been almost a month since her last dance class, but it felt like it had been only a day. She bouree'd across the floor several times, warming up her feet. Then she did a few turns on her toes and before she knew it she was dancing away. She did a series of pirouettes, leaps and jumps before she realized she was starting to sweat slightly. She twisted her hair into a bun and then continued. She was now floating gracefully across the floor on her toes, and for how long she didn't know. She could have danced forever.

Severus was walking up from his dungeons to the library for some nighttime research. He strolled past the Great Hall and was meaning to head up the stairs, but a faint clopping noise distracted him. He looked around the corner to see if he could find the source of distraction and then he noticed a door was open a crack. 'Who would be up at this time?' He wondered and then he walked over to the door and saw light was coming out so he peeked an eye into the room to see what it was.

Moving across the floor was a small figure. Turning and leaping, it looked like she was floating. He raised his eyebrows and continued to peer into the room. She looked like a fairy that was softly tiptoeing across water and making it freeze beneath her steps. She glided and her arms moved around in rhythm to her feet, gently swaying like a willow tree. And then she leaped into the air, her legs in a complete split. She soared at least five feet off the ground and it looked like she was hovering then finally she came back down to the floor and did a twirl out of the landing.

He was amused for several minutes then regained his consciousness. He pulled open the door and drifted into the room, though not as gracefully as she did. He stood by the wall watching her free her soul to the night and then wrapped his arms up in his cloak. She was so into the movements that she never noticed him standing there. She kicked her leg so that it touched against her shoulder then she held it there. Severus had never seen anything so incredible in his life. If he had tried to do that he would surely never walk again. She did a few more pirouettes when he finally strolled up to her. She had her back to him and he was just going to tap her shoulder when she spinned around and they were face to face.

She was several inches taller now that she was on her toes. Her face contorted from complete joy into fear and shock. She let out a gasp that was more like a scream then she lost her balance and fell backwards off her toes. She caught herself just before she went completely over and then wiped a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"Professor! Don't do that!" She shrieked as she put a hand to her heart. Tiny beads of sweat were glistening on her forehead and she took the back of her hand to clear them away. She was panting slightly.

"And what, may I ask, are you doing here at eleven o'clock at night?" He felt a little guilty for shocking her, but she _was_ the one who was out.

"I'm sorry professor, I didn't know I shouldn't be here. I'll go back to my rooms."

"Well, you are allowed to be out but I wasn't expecting to find you here doing this whatever you are doing." He waved one of his hands in the air.

"Oh. Well I was just practicing sir. I haven't danced in almost a month so I needed to get out and stretch." She looked down at her feet. "Why are you out professor?" She asked as she looked back up at him with her hands on her hips.

"I was on my way to the library when I heard a distraction. I came to view the problem and discovered you gliding across the room."

"Oh." She said again. She didn't know what else to add so she stood there. It was one of those moments with awkward silences. They both looked at each other then Snape folded his arms in his robes again, Seda looked away.

"So… nearly seventeen years of this, and it isn't your career?" He asked because he didn't know what else to say.

She rose up onto her toes again and walked around in small circles. "I thought of dancing professionally, but not in ballet. First of all I'm not nearly as good as the girls in the American Ballet Company and second they are too skinny. Over half of them have eating disorders and I would never do that to myself. Besides, you only get signed on for a ten-year contract, fifteen if you don't get injured, and I would never be able to do any other type of dance. My passion is dance, not just ballet." She continued to walk on her toes then she stopped in front of him and balanced there. "I don't think I could live my life knowing I limited myself."

Severus nodded and continued to look at her. She looked perfectly happy before he came in, but now she seemed a little depressed. He could see the muscles in her legs that contracted and flexed every time she moved. She must have strong legs obviously if she was balancing on just her toes. He could also see the shape and curves of her body now that she was in a fitted t-shirt and tight black capris. It was a little different from seeing her in a robe or even from her normal muggle clothes. He swallowed and tried to speak again. "I'm going to head to the library. You may stay here if you wish."

"No, I've been here for nearly two hours now. I think I'm going to take a shower and then go to sleep." She walked on her toes over to where her bag and sandals were then sat down. "You don't have to wait for me professor, I can find my way back." But he didn't answer her, he just watched as she untied the ribbons wrapped around her ankles then pulled off the wooden shoes. She folded the heels of the shoes in then put them back-to-back and wrapped the ribbons tightly around both shoes. She dropped them in the bag, stood up, slid on her sandals and then swung the bag over her shoulder.

"Thanks for waiting professor." She gave him her luminous smile that lit up the room and they walked out of the hall together.

As they were heading towards the second floor Severus turned to her. He opened his mouth to say something then closed it. He changed his mind and continued up the stairs.

"Did you want to say something professor?" She said as she was standing next to him. She felt much shorter now that she didn't have Pointe shoes on.

"It was nothing, never mind." He said in his low soothing voice.

"All right then, if you're sure." Seda said, wondering what he wanted to say. She shrugged it off.

"Good evening Miss Wood." He said as they got off on the landing. A series of chills ran thru Seda's body. She shivered. For some reason every time he said her name like that it made her stomach turn. She didn't know why. Maybe it was imply because he had a deep voice, she didn't know.

"Um, good night professor." He went straight and she went right. "Cherry jellybeans" she said as she got to her door. She walked inside and dropped her bag on one of the chairs by the fireplace. As she walked into the bedroom she pulled off her shirt and threw it on the bed. She kicked off her sandals by the wardrobe and then proceeded to undress. She walked into the bathroom and pulled open the glass door to the shower. She twisted the knob to turn on the water and when she looked at the showerhead she noticed it was another fairy with water shooting out of its mouth this time. "Interesting" She said out loud. She brushed out her hair and then stepped into the shower.

When she closed the glass door, instead of looking at glass walls, she was in a completely different surrounding. She gasped and then looked wildly around. She was in an exotic rainforest standing underneath a waterfall. She could smell the perfumed flowers scent as it drifted under her nose. She threw out her arm to the side where she thought the door was and it opened, the rainforest dissolving back to glass walls. She let the door close again and watched as the rainforest came back into view. She pushed it open one more time as to make sure it wasn't a dream and when she was convinced she let it close again.

"Holy crap!" She said out loud. "This is CRAZY!" She yelled out loud and she actually saw birds fly overhead. She never thought she could find something more enjoyable then that bath tub but she was so wrong, so, so wrong. She let herself indulge in the atmosphere, standing underneath the waterfall and breathing in all the different scents. She was in complete ecstasy and she was so relaxed she thought she might never get out.

She could sit on the small boulders and actually lie on the lagoon floor. She lies there, like she was in a wading pool for toddlers, and looked up at the exotic treetops. Vines were hanging down from the trees and small creatures and birds were scattering across them. There were flowers lying around her, big exotic lilies and orchids. She sat up and leaned over to pick one. She chose a lily, bright pink and yellow, and as she placed it in her hand it turned into a creamy liquid. "This is wonderful, it's shampoo!" She said excitedly. She immediately lathered up her hair and washed it under the waterfall, and then she did it again. She looked around and picked an orchid, dusty purple. She was assuming it would be conditioner and she was right.

After bathing and washing her hair, for over an hour, she decided it would probably be best for her to get out. If she didn't now she probably never would. Sadly, she pushed open the door, which was actually more like a plant in the shower, and stepped out onto the bath mat. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself, then peeked back into the shower one last time. She grinned at it then closed the door.

She combed out her hair and before she walked over to change she went out onto the balcony. She looked up at the stars, shining thru the treetops and she could see the moon, smiling down at her. She inhaled the crisp night air then walked back inside. It was well after midnight and she was tired now. She cleared off the bed of clothes and books then lie there, forgetting to change. She drifted off to sleep but before she fell completely she took off the towel and wrapped it around her wet hair. Not caring about her pajamas because she was so tired, she curled up underneath the covers and fell asleep. Wishing she was back in the rainforest.

Seda was standing on the shore of the lake, looking out into the glassiness of it. For some reason she had the urge to go running into the water but she remained where she was. A figure was drifting towards her. Something black, but she couldn't make out what it was. It was blurry and she was in a haze. Rain began to fall and her body was telling her to run, but she couldn't move. Her heart was beating faster as the figure approached, gliding gracefully towards her across the lake. She stepped into the water but instead of going through it she was standing on it. She wanted to reach the object coming near her; she needed to feel its touch. It was coming nearer and she was moving towards it. She reached her hand out to touch the face of the faceless figure. She wanted to see what it was, she needed to but then she was pulled down. The water was pulling her under and she could see the blurry black figure reaching for her outstretched hand but it was too late. She was suffocating and all she could see was total darkness. She tried to yell out but her voice was faded by the blackness pulling her under. She stretched out her hand hoping to feel something, but it was too late, she was gone.

She was tossing and turning in her sleep and kicking her legs out, trying to free herself of the covers. She was yelling but she couldn't see anything. She waved her arms around and finally she hit her wrist hardly on the headboard and she woke up. She was panting but she still couldn't breathe or see. A sharp pain went shooting to her wrist and with the other hand she pulled off the towel that was covering her face. She sat up in the bed and panted very heavily, as if she had really been drowning. She looked around the room to see where she was then relaxed when she found she was safe in her bed.

She sat there for a few minutes collecting her thoughts then leaned over to the nightstand to look at her watch. It was eight thirty. She threw the covers off her bare body and walked into the bathroom. She looked into the mirror and her face was pale and her lips a little blue. Her eyes were also bloodshot. She tried washing her face but all she got was pain in her wrist. She looked down at it and the bone was sticking out funny. She knew at once she dislocated it and probably fractured it. Years of dance and injuries helped ease the shock of seeing broken bones and sprained whatever's and it definitely helped increase her pain tolerance.

She walked back into the bedroom and pulled out a bandage wrap from her dance bag in the wardrobe then wrapped up her wrist. She got dressed as quickly as she could. Wearing a dark blue robe this time, and left her rooms. She had descended to the Entrance Hall just as Snape was leaving the Great Hall. He saw her and headed over to her. He noticed she didn't look well and also saw her wrist bandaged up.

"What happened to you Miss Wood? Surely one night of dancing didn't cause all this." He said looking at her, concerned.

"No, it wasn't that." Her voice was very hoarse. "I- it's nothing. I accidentally hit my arm on the headboard and resulted in a dislocated wrist. It's nothing really."

He looked a bit skeptical but he continued. "Let me have a look at that wrist Miss Wood." Before she could answer he grabbed her arm and pulled her wrist towards him. He unraveled the bandage and it fell to the floor. It was turning a dark purple and blue around the bone and it was still sticking out funny. She winced as he barely put a finger on it.

"This is nothing? You silly girl, it is clearly out of place. You need to see Madame Pomfrey. Come with me." He demanded and pulled her at his side up the stairs. He took her to the Hospital wing and pulled her inside. Madame Pomfrey saw Severus holding the girls arm and came bustling over to greet them.

"Not already my dear?" She said half smiling and concerned.

"It's nothing…" Seda tried to say but Severus broke in before she could finish.

"It's a dislocated wrist Poppy, and it may be fractured also."

"Sit over here dear." Severus led her to one of the beds and she hopped up to sit on the edge. Madame Pomfrey took out her wand and waved it over her wrist. A green light was coming from her skin, outlining the bones. She could see where her wrist was broken. "It's definitely dislocated, and there is a small fracture. I can mend this in no time."

The nurse walked over to the cupboard and pulled out a bottle. She returned and started spreading a thick, orange paste on her wrist. She tapped it with her wand and it began to harden. Seda could feel pinching in her bones and slowly the paste dissolved. A few seconds later it vanished and the bone that was sticking out was no longer visible.

"All mended dear." Said the nurse and Seda held it up to get a better look at it. It was mended. Brilliant she thought. Why couldn't she have been around when she broke her arm, or her ankles? This is much better then wearing a cast.

"Thank you Madame Pomfrey." Seda smile then hopped off the bed. "Good as new." She said while waving it around.

"Not at all child. If anything else should happen, I'll be here." She smiled at her then returned to her office.

"Well, that wasn't so hard now was it?" Snape smirked at her.

"I didn't know it would be that simple. I'm usually in a cast by now." She said as they walked out of the Hospital wing.

"Yes, well muggles have odd ways of doing things I suppose."

Seda still looked a bit pale and her eyes were bloodshot. She could feel them stinging against her eyelids. She paused when they got to the stairs and leaned against a railing. She gave a quick sigh because she was feeling a bit faint and light headed and then she blinked several times, trying to hold her eyes shut. "Whew" She said quietly then rubbed her arm on her forehead.

"Are you sure you are not ill Miss Wood? You don't look well. Perhaps a simple potion will pick you up?" Severus said as he was going down a step then turned around to head back to her side.

"No thank you professor. I just need some breakfast, that's all." She tried to smile but it only made it half way. That dream had really gotten to her.

"If you are sure, but if you should need something I'll be in my office." Seda nodded then descended the rest of the stairs by his side. He turned to go to his dungeons and Seda walked into the Entrance Hall. She walked through the doors and up to the staff table. She walked behind McGonagall and Dumbledore who were talking and the only ones left. She plopped into her chair and then began to eat a bagel.

'What was that dream about anyway?' She thought to herself. She poured some orange juice and after several minutes she still was not feeling better. Maybe she would visit Snape in his office anyway. A potion sounded like something she needed right about now. So saying her goodbyes five minutes later to McGonagall and Dumbledore she strolled out of the hall and down the steps to the dungeons. Moments later she was at his office and she knocked on the door.


	13. Boggarts and Little Girls

Well, now it's on to chapter thirteen, moving right along. All right, I'll let you get to the chapter. Oh and just for your information, Seda is pronounced 'say-duh' not 'see-da' Just thought I might clear that up if you wondering. Toodles!

"Enter," Said a low, cold voice. Seda walked in and Snape was bending over a book. He didn't look up at her or even show any signs that she was there, he just read. "I thought it wouldn't be long before you came to your senses." He said finally looking up at her. He signaled her to sit down, she did.

"I was thinking maybe that potion might help after all."

"Yes, you look a bit pale. Now, before I give you any potions, I need to know exactly what it is that's not functioning correctly." He said leaning back in his chair.

"I just feel a little light headed, but I have horrible headache. My eyes are stinging a little bit too." She said feeling like she wanted to pass out right there.

"I see. Have you any idea why?" He said looking directly into her eyes, not blinking.

She knew exactly what it was, but she didn't want to say it was all because of a dream. That would sound extremely childish and silly. "I'm not sure professor…" She lied looking right back into his black eyes.

Silly girl, he thought. She didn't know he could see what she was thinking so he knew she wasn't telling the truth. "Whatever you say Miss Wood." He got up to walk over to a cupboard. He pulled out a small vial and then sat back down behind his desk. "But it's not silly to feel sick from a dream."

Seda's eyes flashed up to look at him. How did he do it, he always knew. "Professor… how did you…" Her voice faded out. She just looked at him, stupidly.

"What kind of dream was it Miss Wood. You are not one to have night terrors are you?"

"No, I've never had night terrors. It was just a dream… but it felt so real." She looked away, not looking him in the eyes. "I was… standing near the lake and a dark figure was gliding towards me. Then it started raining and I was walking on the water towards it. I tried… I tried to touch its face but it was blurry and then I was pulled under the water. I was drowning and finally I… woke up." She said this very slowly, almost re-living it as she spoke. She stared at her hands, breathing a little faster. She was going to say that she died, but that would sound foolish.

"Dreams are not simple visions in ones head. They come in complex stages through out sleep and are layered within the mind. To feel like a dream was real shows signs of a healthy and properly working brain. What you have dreamed about may or may not be something to worry about, but all you can do is except that it happened and try to exercise control during the dream." He leaned forward now and traced his mouth with a single finger.

Seda looked at him and swallowed. He looked so intense sitting there like that and she couldn't stop looking into his eyes. They drew her in like a child to a candy store. She just stared at them…

Severus looked into her eyes. They were an amazing deep, bright blue. They sparkled and he couldn't seem to look away from them. He just stared at them… finally he spoke.

"Now, this potion should clear up whatever sickness and tension you are feeling." He looked away from her and held up the vial. "I'll add three drops of this in your drink. What would you like?"

Seda was still in a gaze. She looked up and said "Huh?" She felt dumb.

"I said what would you like to drink." He repeated slightly annoyed.

"Um, tea's fine." She sat on the edge of her chair. He waved his wand and a pot of tea appeared on the desk. He poured some into a cup, added three drops of the potion and handed her the cup. She took it and looked at the liquid inside.

"It's not poisoned." She looked up at him then dropped her eyes back to the cup. She took a sip and it still tasted like tea, a little bitter though.

"How much of this do I have to drink?" She said while wrinkling her nose.

"At least half, then you should feel the effects of the potion." He stood up and walked over to a large cauldron in the corner. He stirred it then watched its contents.

Seda stood up also and walked over to the cauldron with the teacup still in her hand. She took another sip and then said, "What potion are you making sir?" She took another sip

"A potion for Professor Lupin. He needs it once a month, so I brew it for him."

"What is it? Is he ill?" She took another drink from the teacup.

A slight smirk came across his lips. "Yes, he is slightly ill. This potion keeps him _relaxed _when he is not feeling himself." He began to stir again.

"Oh, is it a disease like Cancer or something?" She was almost finished with her drink.

"No, it's not Cancer. If you want to know I suggest you ask Professor Lupin. I don't have the right to tell you without his knowledge." He looked down at her cup. "How are you feeling?" He said then returned to stirring.

She hadn't even noticed. Her eyes weren't stinging, her headache was gone and she didn't feel like she was going to faint anymore. "Ha, I think I'm back to normal. I barely even noticed it was working." She was swirling the last of the tea in the cup.

"Good. Have you read that book yet?" He asked while turning counter clockwise.

"Oh, I've only read about two hundred pages so far, but I'm hoping to have it finished before the term starts."

Snape nodded and then he lowered the flames underneath the cauldron. He walked back to his desk and started writing more notes. Seda walked over and stood in front of him.

"Yes." Snape said in a low voice.

"Where should I put this professor?" She shook the teacup.

"Just set it on the desk." She sat it down on the desk and walked around the room, looking at all the jars and books he had.

"You have quite a collection sir. Are these all ingredients?"

"Yes, most of them are." He was still writing.

Seda stopped in front of a large jar. Floating in a murky liquid was some kind of small, deformed looking animal. "What is this?" She said staring into the jar.

Snape looked up from his notes to see what she was staring at. "That is a baby dragon, before it was developed completely. It is very magical and highly useful." He continued to look at Seda staring at the deformed lizard, and then dropped back to his notes.

"A dragon? There are dragons here?" She said sounding fascinated and scared.

"Not at the school, but in the wizarding world yes. Mostly they breed and are held in Romania." Not sounding fascinated or scared at all.

"Interesting." She continued to look at the jars. Several minutes later Snape closed his notebook and spoke.

"I have to go into Hogsmeade today for a few potion ingredients. Would you care to come along, assuming you haven't been there yet?"

Seda turned around. She would love to see it. "Sure professor." She smiled.

"If you are not busy, we can go now." He said standing up.

"Fine, but I just need to run up to my rooms to get my money if you don't mind."

He nodded then went over to the door. He pulled it open and let her go out first.

"I'll be right back." She said as they were just outside her rooms. She opened the door and walked inside. Snape stood against the wall with his arms crossed.

Seda went to pull open the door to the wardrobe and when she did she almost fainted. A dead body of a woman came falling out and dropped to the floor face up. Seda started screaming at the top of her lungs as she stared into blank expression of the woman.

Severus was just going to take out his pocket watch when he heard screams coming from inside. Without hesitation he ran inside the room and into the bedroom. He saw Seda screaming as she dropped to her knees beside a dead woman. He was confused for a second but then he realized.

"Seda, move away. It's just a boggart." He said loudly and demanding as she began to cry. She didn't move. The body was beginning to dissolve into another form but Snape whipped out his wand and pointed it at the body. A cracking sound came out and the body vanished completely. Seda had her face in her hands and she was still crying.

"Miss Wood… it was just a boggart, it's not real. Look." He said more softly this time. Seda opened her fingers and she looked through them at the floor. She was still breathing heavily and tears were falling down her face. She dropped her hands to her sides and stared where the body was lying.

"Where is it? What was that?" She said almost hysterical. She tried to stand up but her legs were shaking. She clutched the edge of the bed to pull herself up but Severus grabbed one of her arms to help her stand.

"That was a boggart. It's a creature that shifts to different forms to become the person's worst fear. It's gone now." He said looking at the tear, glistening as it fell down her cheek. She looked up at him with her mouth half open in shock. Her eyes were round and now that they were blurry with tears they began to turn a bright teal-blue. They sparkled at him.

She sniffed. "I'm sorry… I-I didn't know." She looked away and stared back at the floor. "What a _horrible _creature."

"They are nasty pieces of work, but if you know how to handle them they are not a threat." He looked over to the floor where Seda was looking. "Did you know that woman?"

"That was my mother. If I ever lost her I don't know what I'd do. I would just… _die_." She sniffed again and then wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

"You don't have to worry any longer, the boggart is gone. Do you still want to join me in Hogsmeade?" He looked back at her.

"Yes." She walked over to the wardrobe and pulled open the door, hesitating slightly. When nothing fell out she sighed in relief then pulled out a small velvet bag of money.

They walked out of the rooms and when they neared the stairs Seda turned around to look at Snape. She looked into his eyes. "Thanks for everything today professor, I mean it."

Snape was not expecting this from her. H hadn't done anything spectacular to deserve a thank you, but it was nice to hear it for a change. He rarely heard praise from anyone and he had never met anyone as sincere as she was. He swallowed and then said, "It was nothing S… Miss Wood." He stopped himself from saying her name. He hardly ever said a student's name. He didn't feel it was proper, but he did shout it out in her room. Maybe she didn't notice. Seda looked up at him for a moment then headed down the stairs.

They walked almost silently down the path to Hogsmeade and when they entered the gates Seda said, "This is all only a wizard inhabited village?"

"Yes." Snape answered as they walked down a street in Hogsmeade.

Seda looked around. All the shops looked like they were out of a storybook, in fact the entire village did. It was… cute. There were little chimneys on top of each roof and brightly dressed, cheerful witches and wizards were strolling around. Even tiny little children had little robes on and they were running around soaking up the warm sun. She missed being a child, carefree and having no worries about anything. Relying on your parents to make everything ok. But she always remembered feeling different though, considering she was supposed to be a witch.

She watched all the children playing outside as their parents were talking to friends. They had paused because Severus pulled out a list of ingredients he needed and he was double-checking the list before he went in to one of the stores. Seda was looking behind her at a candy shop when something was tugging at her robes. She turned her head to look down and saw a small child pulling on her robes. It was a little auburn haired girl with pigtails no more then three looking up at her. The little girl held up a flower to her and Seda smiled. She squatted down beside her and took the flower out of her tiny hand.

"Is this for me?" She asked in a friendly voice smiling at the little girl. Severus must have thought she was talking to him and he turned around to look at her but she wasn't standing there. He dropped his head to see her crouching next to a little witch.

The tiny girl nodded at Seda. "Thank you. Do you have a name?"

The girl answered in a squeaky voice like a cartoon. "I'm Madison," She said smiling and twirling a pigtail around her little fingers.

"Madison? That's a lovely name. Are you with your mommy Madison? Seda said, still in a friendly voice. Snape continued to look down at the two girls.

"Yeah." She answered in more squeakily. She looked completely thrilled about talking to another person.

"Do you know where she is?" And the little girl pointed at a store just behind her.

A young man with red hair was standing just outside the door reading a poster. Then a girl, about the same age as Seda came walking out. She looked at the man and then looked down. "Ronald! Where is Madison?" He turned to look down then said "She was just here, I swear."

She looked furious. "I leave you alone for two seconds and you lose her." She then looked around frantically for her daughter.

Seda looked at the girl and said, "I think I found her Madison." So she took the little girls hand and walked over to the store. Snape was just behind them. "Excuse me, I think she belongs to you." And the girl looked down. She picked her up and hugged her.

"Thank you so much. My _husband_ was supposed to watch her." She kissed the little girl on the head then threw a dirty look at the red haired man.

"It was no problem. She just wandered over and gave me this." She smiled and then held up the flower.

"Oh, that was nice of you Madison." She said touching her daughters nose with her index finger. "She's very friendly, she likes to wander off sometimes. Thanks again for finding her. I - Professor!" Her eyes darted behind Seda and stopped on Snape. Seda turned around to see Snape standing just behind her.

"Good day Miss Granger… or rather Mrs. Weasley." He smirked. The man with red hair turned around and looked from each person.

"It's nice to see you Professor Snape, it's been a while." The girl replied with a smile on her face. "Ron, say hello." She elbowed him in the side.

"Hello" He said with no emotion what so ever. The girl rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry but I didn't get your name." She added looking at Seda.

"Oh. I'm Seda. Are you a student at Hogwarts?" Seda said referring to how she knew Snape.

"My name is Hermione and you already met Madison." She said smiling at her daughter. "Ron and I both were. We graduated two years ago. Are you a new teacher?" She added looking at her then looking at Snape.

"Well, no. I came here from America and I'm going to start my wizard training this year. I met Professor Snape at my university and he brought me to Hogwarts."

Hermione looked a bit confused. "That's strange. Why didn't you come to Hogwarts when you were eleven?"

Snape spoke this time. "Professor Dumbledore had recently found her and sent me to discover her. She would have come to Hogwarts earlier but she was missing for awhile."

"Oh, I see. Well are you relieved that you found out? Only usually we know when we are young that there is something unique about us."

"Yes, I was. I'm trying to learn as much as I can before the term starts, but things keep… popping up." She glanced at Snape. "But I'm doing my best. Professor Snape has just been teaching me potions." She smiled at Hermione.

"Well that's good, best of luck to you then. We have to be getting along, but perhaps we'll see you again sometime in Hogsmeade?"

"Sure. I might be stopping here often. Nice to meet you." She took the little girls hand in her own. "Thank you for the flower Madison."

"Bye-bye." The tiny witch said in a tiny voice as she waved at her.

"See you Seda, Professor." Hermione smiled at each of them and then she, Ron and Madison walked off down the street.


	14. A Longing Feeling

Um, there's not much to say except I'm really enjoying myself. Writing this story is really relaxing and it really does help pass time until book six comes out. Ok, let's get to the chapter now. Bye!

Seda walked into a shop with Severus and was thinking about what he had said. About how they thought she was missing for a while. She was going over this scenario when Snape spoke to her. "You seem to handle children well." He said while looking at a jar of tangled weed looking plants.

She looked over at him. "Well I adore them. Teaching children also helps bring out my patience."

"You teach?" He said still looking at the jar.

"Yes, well I did before I came here. I was a dance instructor in the studio I performed in. I enjoyed it very much, yet it does get a little stressful." She was looking at a jar of some sort of dead caterpillars.

"I see. Just the young ones or older children as well?" He was now picking up a bottle of green liquid and swirling the contents around.

"I taught all ages. Anywhere from two to adults, but I really enjoyed the two to five year olds. You could show them a dance and when they did it on their own it would be completely different. It's the age I think, but it's precious."

"Ah. That sounds thrilling." He said in an indifferent tone. "Being a teacher has its rewards I suppose." as he walked up to another shelf.

Seda followed him. "Don't you like being a teacher, professor?"

He was reading a label on a jar of needle looking objects. "I rather enjoy Potions and the art of it, but I don't like having to teach children that can't comprehend anything. There are rarely a few that ever meet my standards and that I actually except as students and not as children." He said still in an indifferent tone.

Seda looked at a jar of dead spiders and recoiled slightly. "Well that's a bit harsh isn't it? Isn't that the point of being a teacher; teaching not choosing? Every student should be treated the same because they are all their to learn, aren't they? Even if one is more advanced then the other."

Snape looked like he wanted to roll his eyes and bop her on the head but he continued to read different labels. No one has ever criticized his teaching before and now here she is lecturing him about what is right and wrong. Silly girl he thought. "So it would seem Miss Wood, but Potions is a highly dangerous subject and any student who can't follow instruction may end up seriously injured and therefore is a waste of time and effort to make them realize what a bunch of dunderheads they are." He said in a more direct voice.

Seda tutted at this comment and she turned to him with her hands on her hips. "Excuse me, but dance is just as dangerous as potions professor. Any child who doesn't listen could end up with a broken bone, neck or whatever. Treating one that is behind like they are worthless will only lower their confidence."

Snape wanted to break the jar he was holding. How dare she stand there and yell at him about what she didn't know. He turned to her, his eyes cold and dark. "Miss Wood, if a student can not except criticism as means to help them become more aware of their mistakes then there is nothing I can do for them."

Seda lowered her eyebrows. She wasn't going to let him have the last word. "I can see that you are definitely not a people person." She said low with a slight attitude and she walked off to another shelf.

Snape clenched his teeth. He was containing his frustration that she just wouldn't give in. Not many people stood up to him like that. She was being completely impossible. He grabbed the ingredients he needed and took them over to the counter. He paid for them and followed her out of the store.

They didn't speak to each other for several minutes until Seda stopped and looked at him. "What did you mean when you said I was _missing_ for a while?"

This caught Severus by surprise. He continued to walk down the path and Seda hurried to catch up with him.

"What did that _mean_, professor?"

He finally stopped and turned to her. "You were supposed to come to Hogwarts when you turned eleven but there was no record of you after you were born. Your mother was a witch, though we don't know who, but when you were adopted you seemed to have been wiped off the face of the earth until now." His eyes flashed at her and then he continued to walk.

"What? So you knew about me before I was born and I was stuck in world where I was abnormal because I seemed to have disappeared?" She sounded a little angry.

"It seems so. Isn't that what I just said?" A small smirk was at the edge of his lips. She wasn't going to fight back now.

She walked along his side in complete silence and said nothing more.

They walked around Hogsmeade for about an hour. Severus still had a few things he needed and Seda joined him, though she only looked and kept quiet. Severus was slightly happier because of the satisfaction of putting her back in her place. He loved it when he could snap at someone and they were not able to pounce back. He rarely got that with her.

Seda seemed utterly taken back by what he said about her being missing. That was so bizarre, how can you be missing if you know perfectly well where you are. "Odd" she thought.

On the way back up to the castle Seda finally spoke. "Was Hermione a student or a child to you professor?" She was curious.

Snape wasn't expecting her to talk and he wasn't expecting her to ask about previous students. "Miss Granger, or Mrs. Weasley, was one of the very few students to pass through Hogwarts under my approval of having brains. She was quite a know-it-all but she knew what she was doing at least. Why?" He said curiously this time.

"It's not important, I was just wondering. She seems young to be a mother though." She said more to herself then directly at Snape.

"Yes, well she's responsible about it though. Mr. Weasley still needs a lesson in growing up but he didn't abandon the situation so he is still worthy of acceptance."

"What situation, sir?"

"Impregnating her you silly girl." He snapped at her.

"Oh, I thought you meant something else. Never mind." She was keeping herself calm. She hated it when he snapped at her like that. He was so impossible to have a normal conversation with. He always makes things complicated, damns him.

They walked back up to the castle and into the Great Hall in silence. She wasn't going to push him any further. It wasn't worth getting her head chewed off. They arrived just in time for lunch and she was starving having not eaten much at breakfast. She put her new quills and packages on the floor behind her then sat down. She was going to enjoy her meal this time and she wasn't going to argue about it either.

After she ate she got up to leave, as was everyone else. She picked up her things and headed down the stairs to the door. "Miss Wood. If you have time tomorrow we can go over another potion." Severus said as he appeared at her side.

"Fine professor. What time?" She said in a voice not sounding like she was interested, even though she was. She enjoyed potions.

"Same time as yesterday Miss Wood. I'll see you then."

"Fine. See you at dinner." She replied then headed up the stairs as he went down to his dungeons. "Cherry jellybeans" she said then walked into her rooms. She tossed the bags of merchandise in one of the armchairs and continued to the bedroom. She thought maybe she would read more of 'Hogwarts: A History'. So she grabbed the book and jumped up onto the bed and read.

She read for nearly two hours and was making good progress in the book when she started to nod off. The warm breeze sneaking in the room was buzzing in her head and making her eyes droop. She tried to stay awake because she wanted to read on, but it was taking her over. She could hear the trees rustling in the soft summer wind and creatures humming gently. She finally closed her eyes intended only for a moment but her head fell onto her hands and she slept.

A figure was floating on the lake and it was calling for her in a gentle voice. She stepped onto the water and walked towards it. She wanted to touch it. She needed its touch. She reached out a hand to its blurry face but she started to feel dizzy. Something was pulling her under and she couldn't get away. She screamed for it to help her but the water was crashing all around her. Its hand was reaching for her but she was too far away. She couldn't breathe; her lungs were going to explode. All she saw was black… everywhere. And she fell down further into the black hole of water and saw no more.

Seda was thrashing around in her bed and yelling. She rolled and twisted until she finally went right off the edge and landed on the floor. She woke suddenly and it was dark outside. She sat for a moment taking in everything she just saw then got up. She walked into the bathroom and found that she was pale again. Her lips were blue and her body was shaking slightly. She felt sick and then she ran over to the toilet and retched.

What was wrong with her she thought? Maybe it was something she ate, she had no idea. After splashing her face with cool water she walked back into the bedroom and changed into pajamas. She was going to bed she didn't care about dinner. She curled up under the covers with her knees in her chest. It was times like this you really missed home, but she simply thought about her mom and she drifted off to sleep, again.

Severus was sitting in his office reading while he waited for her. She wasn't at dinner last night and she wasn't at breakfast either, and now she wasn't in his office where she said she would meet him. It irritated Snape when people were late or blew off things of importance, but it was their loss not his. He wished he could have known they wouldn't show up so he could have planned his day better. He was losing concentration in his reading, he kept thinking about her. He had a feeling that he should go check on her, but he thought that would be stupid. If she chose to stay in her rooms then so be it. It didn't concern him one bit, but she did seem ill the day before and he thought she was hiding something.

Before he could stop himself he was gliding out from behind his desk and out the door. He would simply see why she didn't show up and that would be all. Then he would leave and return to his dungeons and write out course schedules for Potions class. He approached her door and knocked. He waited about thirty seconds; there was no answer so he knocked again, a bit louder. Still there was no answer. Maybe she wasn't here. But he thought it strange for her not to be if she wasn't at dinner or breakfast. He waited.

Seda was dreaming about strange things, though not about dying like she did before. This time it was more humorous. Snape was break dancing on a table and Seda was flying round the room like a bat. Her mom was jumping on the chairs and one of her old friends was playing the trombone up side down. It was very bizarre. She was just about to go into a dive when there was tapping on the window. She was flying towards it then all of a sudden she woke up.

She took a moment to clear the thoughts from her head and then she heard knocking at her door. She got up and walked into the sitting room. She didn't feel well at all. She was still shivering slightly and her face felt hot. She opened the door and Severus was standing there. Great, just who she needed around when she felt sick. He was probably going to yell at her about something dumb.

"So, decided to sleep in a bit haven't you?" His arms were crossed. She didn't look well though. What was wrong with her?

"What are you talking about? What time is it?" She looked very confused. And why did he have to stand there and look at her like that. It made her feel so trapped.

"It's ten o'clock Miss Wood and you are supposed to be learning another potion as of right now." She was pale and she was sweating. Her cheeks were flushed.

"It's ten o'clock? It can't be." She was even more confused now and he was still staring at her like she was an idiot or something.

"Forgive me, but I can tell time. Just because you may be unable to doesn't mean I can not." He loved playing at people like that. It was amusing to see them struggle to find words to throw back at him. He liked being in control.

"I know how to tell time, thank you. I don't need any smart remarks about it… professor." She added after seeing his eyes light up after being talked back to. Well, he deserved it. He was always preying on her. He was so difficult. "I had no idea it was this late already. I can't believe I slept that long. I'm sorry I missed our meeting but I feel ill."

"Is that why you missed dinner also? You were ill?" He wasn't talking so harsh now. "Did you happen to have another dream, Miss Wood?" His arms were still folded up in his robes and his stare was softening.

"Well, actually yes, I did. I've never had reoccurring dreams before though. I wonder why it's happening now." She looked away from him and down to the floor. She had a strange feeling every time he looked into her eyes like that. Something in her stomach turned over and bounced all over. She was beginning to feel nauseous again.

"I see. Did anything else happen this time or was it the same?"

"It was the same, except I came a little closer to the figure this time, though I still couldn't tell who it was." She really needed to sit down… or throw up. "Could you excuse me for a second?" She barely finished as she began to run towards the bathroom.

Severus stood there not really understanding what was happening. Why was she so ill over a dream? Perhaps she was slightly home sick, but she seemed so much more at home and at ease here. This was about the third time she left him standing outside her rooms with no idea what he should do. He also seemed to be visiting her rooms a lot, considering she has only been here three days. Odd he thought. He didn't know how long it would be until she recovered from, well what she just did, so he stepped inside and closed the doors. He wanted to find out more about that dream anyway.

He walked to the normal spot by the mantle and looked at the various pictures. As they did before, his eyes were drawn to that particular picture of her looking at a light above her. He just loved the expression on her face and the way the light lit up her eyes, it was amazing how innocent and angelic like she looked.

He heard the water running in the other room and he snapped out of his haze. 'Stop' he told himself. Why was he always thinking about her like that? He turned his attention to the bookshelf instead. He looked at the shelves of different books and thought there would be some very interesting information there, if she ever got around to reading it all. He heard her coming in the room so he turned around.

"I'm sorry professor, I just really don't feel well." She slumped over to one of the armchairs and fell into it. She put her head in her hands and closed her eyes. She wished her mother were there to rub her head. She always did that to make her relax. She sighed heavily and let her chest fill with air then relaxed.

"Miss Wood, I can fetch you another potion if you like. I have plenty in store." He stepped behind her. He wasn't really sure what to do. After all these years of dealing with children he didn't know exactly what to do with her.

"No… no thank you, I'll be fine, really. I think I need air though. Would you mind just walking over to the balcony with me for a minute?"

"Certainly." He said not sounding that interested but agreed anyway. He would have preferred to be going to potions but he supposed that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Not if she was going to get sick all over it. He waited for her to stand up then followed her out to the balcony.

"This is an extraordinary view they've given you Miss Wood." He looked out at the trees reaching up to the sun. The golden and green leaves were delicately swinging as the wind blew thru the trees. The lake was also rippling underneath them.

Seda leaned against the railing with her hands gripped tightly so she wouldn't fall over. She closed her eyes and the wind was blowing her hair across her face. She absorbed some of the air and held it in then released it back to earth. The sun was shining down on her and the highlights in her hair shined brightly. Red and gold tones tossed in about her dark brown, chocolate-hazelnut color. It was stunning.

She looked so different from everyone else. All he ever saw was witches in robes and uniforms, so he was amused with her muggle wear. She was wearing dark gray form fitting pajama pants and a little whit tank top that fit neatly around all her curves. He could just see her little bellybutton and he raised an eyebrow. This was _very _different from what he normally saw, but he didn't object to it.

Seda spoke with her eyes still closed. "It's such a strange feeling when I have that dream. I really feel like I'm trying to reach for something, to feel someone, to have it touch me. But I always get pulled away whenever I get near it. I actually feel as if I'm drowning and that I can't breathe. And every time I wake up I feel like I…" She opened her eyes and looked at him from under her lashes. "I feel like I was longing for something and it was taken away. I feel it in my heart."

Severus looked deep into her blue eyes. He could relate somewhat to that feeling, but every time she looked at him with those eyes he forgot everything he wanted to say.

Something in her eyes captured him and he couldn't let it go, he didn't want to. She blinked softly and looked further into his eyes. He suddenly felt a bolt of some unknown force surge into his stomach and shoot up his spine. He wanted to touch her.

Seda couldn't stop looking at him. She felt comfortable every time he stared at her like that. But it wasn't like he was staring at her; it was more like he was caressing her with his mind. She didn't want it to stop. She wanted his touch.

They continued to stare into each other, not really realizing they were doing it. They both seemed like they were in another world and they didn't want to come back. Seda leaned closer to him and her heart began to pump. She didn't know what was coming over her. Thoughts were lost and all she knew was his stare, it was guiding her.

Severus felt his throat become dry. What was happening to him? He had never felt this kind of weightless sensation before but his chest was heavy. She was coming closer. All he could see was her eyes. They were dazzling and sparkling… trapping him… he couldn't get away.

She could feel his breathe on her neck… she could hear his pulse pumping… she could smell his scent... it was so familiar.

They were very close to each other…and Snape's hand raised to touch her face. She couldn't breath… he couldn't breathe. His hand was just on her cheek… she felt so warm.

Seda almost sighed at his touch. It felt so… natural. He was boring into her eyes more then ever and she couldn't take the pressure building inside her. She was going to burst. His dark eyes were so powerful and commanding. He rubbed his thumb against her skin and chills sprang up on every inch of her body. His face was coming closer. She could just see the stubble on his neck he was so near. Her heart pounded as she closed her eyes.

Severus knew something about this wrong but it felt so right he couldn't stop. He almost tasted her lips, only inches away when he paused. He inhaled her scent then slowly let go of her soft face and backed away. What was he doing? He had to stop.

Seda felt the absence of his touch and opened her eyes. She knew what almost just happened and she looked away from him and down to the floor.

Severus swallowed, though it was very difficult. Then he spoke in a dry tone. "We can go over the potion tomorrow when you are feeling better Miss Wood. See you after breakfast tomorrow." He stood staring at her. What had he done? Where was his head? He never acted on senses like that.

Seda walked past him into the rooms and headed for the bathroom as she said, "I'm sorry professor… see you tomorrow." She said in a voice very distant and she closed the bathroom door wishing none of that had just happened, leaving Snape standing alone on the balcony. He cursed himself then left her rooms, glancing back at the bathroom door as he left. That was much too much physical interaction. And just as the door closed behind him he leaned his back against the wall next to her rooms. He looked up to the ceiling and asked for forgiveness for what he had just done but he just couldn't look up without envisioning those eyes… it was like they put a spell on him. He was captured and could think of nothing else… for now.

Thanks for all the great reviews! Especially to **Hermione **and **Chibidaima.**

I know it seems early for that kind of interaction between Severus and Seda but it just came out on the page so naturally that I couldn't resist. I hope it wasn't to rush because I don't want to ruin the subtlety of the story. I want it to just sweep you away, kind of like how Severus is to Seda. Well anyway, I told you some steam would show up but the good stuff won't be for a while still. But I promise when it does it will be well worth the wait. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Toodles all!


	15. Chats Under Trees and Mailing Letters

Well, I hope you all enjoyed that last chapter. The ending was totally unexpected actually. I didn't plan it that way but something about it just felt right at that particular moment, kind of similar to what Severus and Seda were feeling. Anyway, thanks everyone for the reviews, they are so encouraging. I'll just get right into the chapter now. Toodles!

Seda was sitting in the bathroom thinking about what just happened, or more of what almost happened. How could she act so insensibly? She was disgusted with herself for almost kissing a professor and actually simply, almost, kissing someone she wasn't even interested in. "What was I thinking!" She yelled at herself angrily.

Yet something about him made her act funny. She didn't always feel like she could think properly, especially when he gazed into her eyes like that. It was as if he wasn't even seeing her rather something further off in the distance. His eyes were amazing though. Sometimes they seemed so cold, but for a moment they looked dark and mysterious and she wanted to see more.

She was doing it again, she was thinking about him. She had to stop herself. She didn't even think of him that way and he was constantly on her mind. Why was she acting so strange? She growled at herself and decided she needed to think about something else.

She still wasn't particularly feeling that great so she hopped in the shower. Only for ten minutes this time and not an hour or so like last time. It was still an exotic, tropical forest when she closed the door, but she didn't dawdle around. She washed her hair and got out. Minutes later she had twisted her hair up onto her head brushed her teeth and dressed. She grabbed her wand, some spell books, parchment and quill then headed out of the rooms. She didn't go off to the library or the Great Hall, instead she headed outside and down to the lake. She knew there was a large shade tree there she could settle herself under comfortably.

As she strolled down the grass she could see fluffy white clouds on the horizon of the lake that looked like they were swimming. Birds were chirping and the trees were still humming in the sunlight. She reached the tree and sat down underneath it. It was a beautiful sunny day, but it was very warm under the sun directly, so finding sanctuary under the shade was much more enjoyable. First she thought she should write to her parents. She hadn't contacted them since before she left so she pulled out a piece of parchment and started writing.

Half an hour passed and she was just signing her letter with love to her parents. She told them about the castle and the grounds, her meeting Fang, being sorted and managing a few small spells and a potion. She stated how much she enjoyed it there and so on and then decided it would be plenty to keep them happy. She tucked it away then picked up a book and started reading.

She leaned her back against the trunk and her knees were bent in to her chest with the book propped up on her lap. She was very comfortable sitting there. She was undisturbed for nearly an hour when she heard crunching grass from behind her. She peeked her head around the corner and saw Lupin strolling down the hill happily. She returned her attention to the page and watched him out of the corner of her eye walk pass without even noticing her. "Afternoon professor." She said looking up at him.

Lupin turned his head and saw the person the voice belonged to. He didn't know anyone was sitting there. He turned around and walked towards her. "Hello Seda. I didn't see you there." He was standing in front of her. "We didn't see you at dinner or breakfast, are you well?" He looked a bit concerned but was smiling anyway.

"I didn't feel well last night so I went to bed early. Apparently I slept rather late too, according to Professor Snape." She trailed off. She didn't want to start thinking about him again because she had just gotten her mind fixed on something else. She added quickly, "I'm feeling better though." She smiled at him.

"Reading up on some spells I see. Have you learned any knew ones yet?"

"Not really. I can only do the levitating charm and the summoning charm so far. I figured out a few basic ones too though." She sounded completely unimpressed with herself.

"The summoning charms too, have you? That's excellent Seda. That is usually a spell taught in fourth year. Good for you. You seem to be learning rather quickly. I hear you like potions as well?"

"It's fascinating actually. I like the idea of taking things and mixing them together then coming out with something unexpected and completely different. It's complicated though, but in a good way I suppose." She still had her knees tucked into her chest and her hands were resting on the book. Lupin nodded in agreement.

Do you mind if I sit down?"

"Oh, not at all professor." She said while moving her things to the side to make room for him. She liked talking to Lupin. He was always so friendly and easy to talk to, completely opposite from Snape. She always feared to say anything because he, Snape, might think she was stupid. Lupin was very open to discussing things with out snapping at you if he disagreed. Lupin also liked to talk about interesting creatures and things, which amused Seda. She was very curious.

"I used to sit in this very place a lot when I was at school here. It seems like only yesterday, but it's different now." He was staring at the lake. The squid was bobbing at the surface.

"Why's that professor?" She looked out at the lake too.

"Before, when I would sit her, I was always with my three best friends. Now it just seems lonely sitting here with out them." The squid was waiting for a bird to land so he could snatch it.

"What happened to them?"

"They are all dead, well two are completely and the other has no soul, he was a betrayer though, so he is no longer a friend." He looked at her.

"That's horrible professor, I'm so sorry to hear that. How did it happen?" She looked completely full of grief for him.

"It was all of Lord Voldemort's doing…" He looked back at the lake and began to tell her about Voldemort and the two wars. He explained that Voldemort recruited Death Eaters and they did most of his dirty work. He told her about Harry Potter and all the sacrifices he put up with to finally kill Voldemort once and for all and all the loss that came from those dark days.

They talked for nearly an hour. Seda had no idea anything that horrible could go on and she was beside her self that it happened under her very nose and never knew about it. She could have been involved in it all too, if she wasn't missing. She was completely stunned about what Lupin was telling her and she could hardly believe it. It was so terrible. It reminded her of the days when Hitler was around, even though she wasn't born. She had just about heard enough when she wanted to ask one more question.

"Professor… what happened to the Death Eaters that left Voldemort? Were they killed?" He mentioned a few left him never to return but never said what happened.

Lupin thought for a moment then spoke like he was trying not to blurt out anything he shouldn't say. "There were two kinds of Death Eaters that left Voldemort. The first ones were those who betrayed him and were to cowardly to return to their master or face the wizarding world when they were caught. They pleaded with the Ministry that they were tricked into doing horrible things and they truly had left his side. They were all eventually sent back to Azkaban. The other…" He paused, he glanced at the castle thinking Severus was overhearing, and then continued. "The _others_ that left Voldemort were smart enough to join the good side before his first downfall. They were never meant to be Death Eaters but persuasion and influence is something the Dark Lord's truest servants were masters at. Luckily, they were granted forgiveness and accepted back into the wizarding community but some people were still skeptical whether they truly left or not. They turned spy for Dumbledore and helped receive inside information on what Voldemort was planning."

"Are any of them still around?" She was eager to hear more.

Lupin glanced up at the castle again. "They are here in a way, but part of them will never be complete. Death Eaters did terrible things Seda. The true servants enjoyed it and the manipulated ones were forced to do things you couldn't imagine in your worst nightmares. They had to suffer like no one else because they truly didn't want to do it but they will never forgive themselves for what they did, even if others do. They are torn in two and feel they can never be the same. They probably would have preferred to have their souls sucked out by a Dementor if the pain was any easier." He looked away from her and down to the lake again.

"That must be a terrible life." She looked horrified. "I couldn't imagine what a horrible feeling it would be to look at yourself and hate everything about you knowing you can never get back what others took and erase what haunts you most. I would have no reason for living I think." Her eyes were hazy and her expression stony.

"Yes, I'd imagine that is what it would be like too. The worst part of it all is that people care about them and will accept them for what they are but they can't allow themselves to be at peace. So, there is nothing you can do." Lupin was looking down at his hands and twirling his thumbs.

"Do you know one of these people professor?" She asked quietly.

Lupin sighed then answered. "I know one of them, yes, but I know who they truly are and who they could be, even if he disagrees and others look down upon him. I never believed he was a true Death Eater even if our pasts clashed with each other. He's a good man and someday he'll see it." He looked over at her and smiled. "Don't you worry about it now though. What's done is done and can never change, so don't wish things could have been different. It's part of life. Accept and move on."

She looked completely sorrowful after what they just talked about and how could she not think about it. She looked at the lake and watched the gentle ripples vanish away and appear all over again. She then looked up to the sky. It was a perfect blue and the clouds were changing shapes. It seemed as if she could stretch out her hand and pick one out of the air. The early moon was just hiding off in the distance as the sun beamed directly across from it. It was very silent except for the flittering of birds and rustle in the trees. It was very bright and she had to squint as she looked up into the heavens.

"I think it's just about time for lunch. Would you care to accompany me to the castle?" He noticed she was thinking deeply about something, mostly about the Death Eaters, and he wanted to get her away from those depressing thoughts. He stood up and she finally realized he had spoken.

"Oh… yes professor. I'm starving." She started to gather her things as she stood.

"I would be too if I was sick and missed two meals already." He smiled at her as they headed up the hill.

They were just walking through a courtyard and Seda remembered her letter she wrote. "Do you know where I can send a letter professor?"

"Yes, you can use the school owls to send letters if you like. Just choose one from the owlery."

"Oh, great… um, where is it though. I still haven't found everything in this castle yet." She smiled sheepishly.

"It's just near the north tower…" He explained directions as they walked into the castle and started for the Great Hall.

They entered the hall to find McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey already sitting there chatting. They looked up to see Seda and Lupin walking down the aisle, they both smiled.

"Glad to see you are up and about Miss Wood. We thought you may not show up for a meal again, but here you are." McGonagall smiled but eyed her as she sat down. "You are feeling better aren't you?"   
  
"Oh, yes I am. I fell asleep early last night and slept in a bit but I'm starving right now." She smiled at them and sat down. Within ten minutes everyone had sat down for lunch… everyone except Snape.

Severus was standing over his cauldron watching the contents bubble and simmer. Something about the way the potion vapor drifted in the air and danced around the cauldron relaxed him. He was very tense after this morning and he decided to brew something, anything, to get away from his thoughts.

He stirred a few times, added an ingredient then lowered the flames. He walked away and paced around the room. He tried to think about, well, anything. It was hard. Every time he began a new thought those eyes popped up out of nowhere. Why had he acted so irrationally, it was so unusual for him to get carried away like that? Why had he tried to kiss her, was he losing his mind? 'Why' was just about all he could think of at the moment. Then he ran a list of things in his mind.

First of all it's completely inappropriate for him to have such relationships with students, but she wasn't really his student anymore, she was more of an assistant, perhaps a colleague, BUT she was still learning under his guidance. Secondly he didn't want to have such interaction with… women. He never saw him self romantically or intimately with anyone so that was out of the question. Thirdly she would never be interested in someone like him, but she seemed open to the near kiss and she didn't flinch at his touch, BUT she was sick. She was sick, that's why she acted so openly. She was insecure and vulnerable and that is why she allowed herself to get caught up in that particular moment.

Severus sighed. What had he done? She was probably making him out to be some kind of fool for even trying to get near her. She was younger then he was and she didn't need someone that was as complex as he. Not to mention, if she ever found out what he used to be she would think him revolting on the spot. But why was he still thinking about this? He paced again. It was a stupid thing to do, he regretted it and now he was going to forget about it completely. He is going to vanish that memory from his mind like it never happened and never think about it again. It meant nothing. He has no feelings for the girl what so ever. She is simply an American girl at Hogwarts with great magical ability and stunning color changing eyes... that was all. He thought that brought a nice conclusion to his self-discussion so he returned to his cauldron and stirred some more.

After letting his potion simmer he emptied it into many small vials and put them away on the shelves. He returned to his desk and started to read some notes Dumbledore sent him about research he wanted on a certain potion. He remembered he needed to send out a few things but he would do that later. He read through the notes and began to write down a few things himself. He also pulled out a few books and began to search for certain plants he needed more information on. This kept him busy for a few hours and not once did he think about what happened that morning.

Seda was returning to her rooms after an hour of lunch. She had conversations with all the staff and she really felt like she was becoming part of their world. She knew she was, it just hadn't really settled in yet, but talking certainly helped. She found out at least a dozen new things every time she chatted with someone, so it was benefiting her to speak up. She usually preferred to stay quiet unless someone spoke to her directly. She didn't want to seem annoying or bother anyone with silly questions.

"Cherry jellybeans" She entered her room and put all her books and papers on the little study table in the corner. She walked over to the bay window and opened it. She let the cool breeze sweep the room of any stale air and then she continued into the bedroom. She plopped herself on the bed and rested her eyes. One of her legs was dangling off the edge and her arms were thrown above her head. She breathed heavily and then puffed the air out of her mouth. Her head was tingling a bit from being sick but at least she could hold down food. She turned her head to the side and the French doors were open slightly.

Oh yes, she had forgotten about that morning but now it was coming back to her. It was if she was reliving it. She remembered telling Snape about her dream and how it made her feel… then they looked at each other. His eyes were boring into hers and she couldn't look anywhere else but there. She felt trapped but she felt so… so safe. It was comforting the way his hand was laid on her face and the way it felt against her skin. Then she remembered being so close she could hear his chest thumping and the way he smelled. It was a very pleasing scent. It was woodsy and delicious she could almost taste it. And then she remembered feeling his breath upon her lips… they were so close but it stopped. What was she thinking about anyway? She squeezed her eyes shut as to push the memory out of her head.

She rolled over and groaned into the covers. Why did she feel that way around him anyway? She had only known him for a few months but only really knew him fully for about a week. It wasn't as though she felt she didn't know him though because as little as they talked they understood each other, except for their arguments. They weren't really arguments though, slight disagreements, but he was so difficult. She couldn't express her opinion with out being snapped at and she always felt like she was doing something wrong. Was it because she was insecure and too self-conscious or simply because that was the way he was? Probably both she decided. He always liked having the last word and he made things so damn complicated it was practically impossible to carry a normal conversation for more then a few minutes.

She let out a small scream of frustration then slapped her hands on her head, grabbing it. She was just going to forget about what happened earlier and not think about how she felt every time he looked into her eyes so deeply. He was probably going to treat her even more like a child now because she let herself get carried away in that moment. So to end the frustration she was going to make the memory disappear from her mind and carry on with her life. It meant nothing. It was the heat outside and the way she was feeling at that given moment. He was a professor anyway, so that kind of interaction was totally out of bounds. He was older then her anyway, and much more wise and mature. He would never see a near twenty year old in a romantic way, never. He probably had better things to be doing then to mingle with an American girl who he viewed as a child.

She didn't want a relationship right now anyway, she was much to busy with getting her career and training on the way. Ah, she was doing it again. Why couldn't she just let it go? She was making excuses about it now and it didn't even men anything. Ok, it was over from that point on. She rolled onto her stomach and closed her eyes. She was going to take a quick catnap and then mail her letter to her parents.

Severus finished the notes he was on and decided he had better send out for the items he needed or he would never have them in time. He put his books and notes away then snatched up the letters he had prepared to be sent out. He exited his office and went sweeping up the stairs.

Seda woke about a half hour later feeling somewhat refreshed. A nice little nap always does wonders. She rolled onto her back and sat up in the bed and stretched. She moaned... it was always exhilarating to stretch tired muscles and let a few bones crack in the process. She crawled off the bed and went into the sitting room where she put down her letter. She pulled it out and almost forgot an envelope. She ran back into the room, opened the desk, pulled out an envelope and wrote down the address. She walked back into the other room and stuffed the parchment inside then left.

She went up the stairs quite a few flights then turned right down a corridor that hopefully led to the owlery. If she was remembering correctly she was going the right way. It should just be down this hallway here she thought and luckily she was right. She stepped inside the tall room and found hundreds of snoozing owls perched on various sitting poles. There were all sorts of owls too. Big, small, brown, white, everything she could possibly imagine. She didn't know if it would matter what one she chose so she walked around trying to decide which one would be best. And actually she had no idea which one to choose, so she continued to pace around studying the various birds.

Severus was walking down the corridor towards the owlery, letters in hand. He was thinking he should just bye his own bloody bird so he didn't have to climb all these stairs to mail a damned letter. As many years as he had been here the journey to the top of the castle was always long and tiring. He stepped into owlery with a type of owl in mind and stopped in his tracks. She was there.

Seda turned around after looking at a tiny owl the size of her hand and almost shrieked when she found she wasn't alone. Snape was standing in the doorway with letters at his side. He stared at her for a moment then walked over to choose an owl.

It was silent for a minute. Neither of them knew what to say so they walked around silently until Seda asked a very dumb question. "Mailing a letter?" She tried to sound friendly but she knew she had just sounded very foolish asking that. Well obviously he was or he wouldn't be there. 'Duh.' She thought to herself.

"That is the purpose of my being here even if it isn't for you." He said very dryly, not sounding friendly at all. He inspected a few owls then prodded one with his finger. It opened one eye, took a look at his stack of letters, and then closed its eye again. Snape lowered his eyebrows and poked it again, harder this time. The owl ruffled its feathers and finally stuck out its leg. He tied the letters to I and then he told it where to go and it took off. Severus turned to see Seda staring at him.

"Is there a reason for you to be staring at me as if you are a fish or do you have something to say?" He said in a low voice and folded his arms in his robes.

Seda shifted in position then spoke. "Um… how… I don't know…" She didn't really know what she was saying at all. Whatever she wanted to say was not coming out the way she planned it. Resulting in another smart comment from her professor.

"Well that explains everything Miss Wood. Thank you for stating your question clearly." He lowered his eyes so they were fixed on her.

"I meant that I don't know which owl to choose. Can you help?" She said lowering eyes as well and wrinkling her nose.

"Where is your letters destination?" He said still looking at her.

"To my parents, at home." She said holding up the letter to show him she was capable of doing something that a fish couldn't.

He walked over to a mid sized white owl. "That is a fairly long journey so you will want to choose an owl with good endurance, like this one." He pointed at it and waited for Seda to wake it up. She merely looked at it sleeping then looked back at him.

"Ok, and?" She said waiting for the next step.

"Well, wake it up you silly girl." He threw at her. How complicated was she going to make it?

She prodded the owl gently on its head. It ruffled it's wings and blinked it's eyes open. It had beautiful crystal blue eyes, similar to hers, but lighter. This one was much more well behaved, it didn't look at her and go back to sleep, it actually held out its leg. She tied the letter to it and told the patient owl where to go and it flew out into the sky.

Seda stepped over to the window, watching the white owl fly over the trees as she did. The moon was drifting up towards the highest clouds and as her eyes followed she saw the first few stars twinkling in the misty blue sky. The sun was getting lower and soon it would extinguish for the night. She looked up for a while then Snape finally spoke to the silence. She had almost forgotten he was there.

"Have you heard from your parents at all since your journey?" He was trying act as though everything was perfectly normal between them.

"No. I told them I would write first then they could send word back to me." She was watching as two birds were chasing each other in the purple sky.

"Ah…" He wasn't sure if he should ask if she was feeling better, it might bring up this mornings situation. "You seem to be feeling better." He didn't know what else to say.

"Yep. Feeling much better… professor." The conversation was taking a turn in the awkward direction. She continued to gaze out the window, hoping it would ease the silence. She didn't really know what to say, so she asked about the potion.

"What potion will we be going over tomorrow?" She almost sounded bored.

Snape took a step closer but he didn't want to get to close again. "I thought we would start on some pepper-up potion. Poppy is in need of some and I usually make a years supply around this time."

"Sounds very interesting. Is it difficult?" Clouds were painting the sky with shapes.

"If you can follow instruction… then it is simple." He looked at the back of her head.

"Are you inquiring I lack the ability to follow directions?" She turned around at once and stared at him.

"That is not what I said. Don't start assuming I accuse you of anything just because…" He stopped. He didn't want to finish what he was gong to say, she may rage at him.

"Because what… professor?" She stared him down with narrowing eyes. He had better not say this morning was her fault because he was just as much to blame. She put her hands on her hips and waited for his reply.

Snape looked away from her. He didn't like where the direction of this conversation was going so he tried to end it. "Nothing. I'll see you tomorrow morning in my office… that is if you show up and not go off and get sick." He snapped the comment out and glared back at her. He knew she was going to get mad but at least he got one good remark.

She pursed her lips and puffed out her nose impatiently. She was restraining herself. "Fine, I'll see you tomorrow. Let's hope I won't need a dose of that pepper-up potion professor, I may be sick you know." She stared at him for a moment then walked around him and out the door. He was so frustrating, damns him.

Severus turned to see her storm out of the room. He held his irritation that she had thrown a comment back at him. He lowered his eyebrows and clenched his jaw together. She was impossible... curse her.

Severus walked out of the room minutes later after making sure he had given at least two floors between them. He didn't want to bump into her right now; she might bite off his head and spit it down the stairs. When he thought it would be safe he left the owlery and stalked off back to the coolness and comfort of his dungeons thinking maybe he shouldn't bother her during dinner or else he might never hear the end of it. That was good enough for him, but she was still impossible.


	16. Familiar Faces

Chapter fifteen was a tad longer but that's ok. I don't know if it was just I... but I cracked myself up with the ending of fifteen. I didn't write it in a humorous way, it just came out that way, oh well; at least I enjoyed the funnies, HaHa! Thanks for all the reviews as usual they help a lot. Well let's waste no time and get reading on this next chapter. I'm delayed a bit today because we just had another baby in the family, so I took some time off for that. Well let's get on with it. Toodles!

Seda got through the rest of the weekend by retreating to her rooms and burying herself in spell books or by strolling around the grounds. Her potions session with Snape on Sunday went well except they didn't talk as freely as they normally did. He only spoke to give instruction and she only answered when necessary. She didn't talk much to him during meals on Sunday either, instead she directed her attention elsewhere. It was lucky that a few members of the staff arrived and she was introduced and had conversations with them. It was much easier to think her time was dedicated to meeting new people rather then ignoring her surly professor. She didn't feel so bad then.

She woke up to a slightly misty morning on Monday. It was still warm but the sky was shady. A few clouds decided to sleep a little longer instead of getting their usual morning wake up. The sun had just finished rising above the luscious green canopies and it was looking at itself in the lake. Its reflection was blurry and foggy but glistened all the same. It was mesmerizing and enchanting.

The first day of term was Wednesday and now that it was Monday it didn't seem so far away anymore. Nerves jumped around in her stomach but there was some anticipation also. There was still an hour until breakfast would be served so she figured she might as well take a shower and a nice long one at that.

After a refreshing forty-five minute, tropical shower she threw on a towel and laid on her bed, relaxing a bit more before she entered the world of clothes and people. She didn't bother doing anything special to her hair so she let it dry naturally. It was a head of long, shoulder-blade length of slightly curly hair but more empowered by bouncy waves and crimps. It was so shiny and silky but it was such a pain to have her hair down all the time, it was always getting in her way, so that's why she normally took the extra effort to put it up neatly. She was in such a mood that she really didn't give two hoots about anything today and whatever happened, well great if it was good and drat if it was bad, oh well.

She thought that since the start of term was so close she might stop by Hogsmeade again to stock up on a few extra items. Well that was the plan then. She didn't have any meetings with Snape today so she was free all day. He was probably busy preparing for his precious Slytherins anyway. She shrugged in her head then got dressed.

She was one of the first to appear at breakfast; only one other person was there this early… Snape. She should have figured this but oh well. She walked up to the staff table and took her usual seat, next to the Potions Master. It didn't feel as awkward to be sitting near him this morning. Maybe it was because she had spent the weekend ignoring him or maybe simply because she was relaxed and care free, she didn't really know and she didn't really care.

"Morning professor." She nodded at him as she sat down. He hadn't looked up at her yet so when he didn't reply right away it came as no surprise to her. It looked like he had gotten there only moments before she did because his plate was still steaming with freshly baked croissants and porridge. He had just taken a drink from his goblet and set it down when he finally acknowledged her presence.

"There's a letter for you." He said looking down at his plate while stirring in milk to his porridge. He inclined his head just to the left of her and she turned to see it. She snatched up the envelope, which was slightly lumpy. She opened it and pulled out a piece of stationary and a little rolled up something in cloth came falling onto the table.

Snape glanced at her and then saw the tiny bundle rolling for the edge of the table. Apparently she was too absorbed in the letter to notice so he caught it just before it fell. He placed it next to the ripped envelope and her eyes moved down then across to him. She returned her gaze to the paper. "Thanks" She said very quietly but not as if she really knew she said it. More like she was thinking it and he happened to hear her brain talking.

She placed the letter to the side a few minutes later and picked up the little parcel that was the size of half her thumb. She started to unwrap the cloth and it didn't seem to end. She kept unraveling it until a foot later of cloth a tiny gold ring was in her fingertips.

"Oh…" She sighed and gasped at the same time. She wore an expression as if she were looking at a newborn. She had an airy smile on her face that looked positively sweet but Snape paid no interest in the matter. She unclasped the necklace she was wearing which was a gold braided chain and bore a small golden cross. She slipped the minuscule ring onto the chain and it sat side by side with the cross. She placed it back around her neck and then resumed her meal.

They spoke to each other in short here and there but didn't have a chat as usual. He seemed as if he was preoccupied about something so she didn't bother to interrupt his thoughts. She couldn't really stand the stiffness he was radiating so she ate quickly and left without hesitation. Instead of tracking her own footsteps to her rooms she exited the castle as soon as she entered the Entrance Hall.

She followed the same path that she and Severus took a few days ago and walked thru the gates of Hogsmeade. She had more freedom to do what she pleased now that she was by herself. The sky was still shimmering with mistiness but the sun poked out every now and then. There was a crisp breeze in the air. Not the usual lulling warm softness like a mid summers day. It didn't bother her though so she continued to stroll down the street.

She walked into a joke shop called Zonko's and browsed the shelves for awhile before she actually examined a few items. After deciding on some interesting sparklers she paid and headed off for another shop. Her next visit was Honeyduke's. She thought it looked absolutely delicious from the outside so she couldn't resist. She was feeling like a child all over again. She had never seen so many scrumptious sweets in her life. She left fifteen minutes later with a bag full of Chocolate Frogs, Bertie Botts Beans, various licorices, and a few hard candies as well. That should make her feel better on the very worst of days. She glided down the street not really caring where her feet led her.

She visited a bookshop, an apothecary and the same quill shop as last time before she realized she was thirsty. She turned a corner and there was The Three Broomsticks sitting there openly, inviting her in. She walked inside and found it to be very cozy and friendly. Just as she was turning to close the door she bumped into something hard. The hard something said "ow" and she turned back to apologize.

"Oh, I am so sorry I didn't see - Hermione." She just noticed it was her she was talking to. She smiled but then frowned. "I didn't mean to bump into you, sorry."

Hermione was holding Madison's hand and she smiled at her. "It's alright, I should have moved out of your way. I just didn't know you were turning around. I saw you come in from across the path and I wanted to say hello."

"Oh. Well it's good to see you again. I'm just doing a little more shopping before the term starts. I can't believe it's only two days away."

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure you will be fine." Madison waved her hand up at Seda.

"I was just stopping for a drink. Do you have time sit for a little while?" She was hoping she would say yes, because she didn't feel exactly happy to sit all by herself in some place she had never been.

"Sure, why not. Madison and I needed to get out of the house so we decided to do a bit of shopping ourselves, well I did really." She laughed and they headed for a table back in the corner. After putting Madison in a booster seat she conjured she sat down herself.

"So, what do they have to drink here? I've never been in this place." She said looking down at a menu.

"Really?" She looked surprised but she remembered she probably wouldn't have been here before so she lowered her eyebrows back to their normal position. "You should really try the butterbeer, it's excellent."

Seda nodded in agreement. "I'll take your word for it." She said as she placed the menu back on the table. Just then a merry looking woman came walking over and asked them for their orders.

Hermione answered, "Two butterbeers and one small pumpkin juice." Then she turned back to Seda. Madison was playing with a spoon and making it fly through the air, making buzzing sounds as she did. "Have you learned any spells or new potions yet?"

"Just a few. I taught myself the summoning and the levitating charm and some basic charms. Professor Snape has made me brew two potions so far, so that's going well."

"That's really good. I taught myself a lot as well and everyone thought I was a know-it-all because of it, but I ignored them." She shrugged.

"Yeah. I think Professor Snape thinks I'm a bit of a know-it-all too. Well he did at least when he was teaching in the university, I'm not so sure right now though. He always argues with me and he always has to be right and have the last word. It's maddening."

Hermione laughed slightly and shook her head. "That, I'm afraid, will never stop. That is how he is. He favors his precious Slytherins and he is practically cruel to everyone else, especially Gryffindors. But he is a good man Seda, interschool rivalries just like to take over for the most part."

Their drinks had just been brought over to the table. "Oh great. That's probably why he's been sour with me somewhat since I was sorted. He didn't seem impressed that I wasn't picked for Slytherin." She opened the bottle of butterbeer and took a sip. She felt warm and tingly. "Hey, this stuff hit's the spot."

Hermione smiled while she gave Madison her juice. "You've been sorted already? What House?" She said taking a sip of her own butterbeer.

"Gryffindor, but I was very closely considered for Slytherin and Ravenclaw. That hat couldn't make up its mind but finally it decided that would be best." She took another sip. She was starting to feel much happier.

"That's very unusual, but at least you were sorted so that's good. I was a Gryffindor too and so was Ron." Madison was trying to stick her hand in the glass of juice. Hermione grabbed her arm and wiped off her fingers. "No Madi."

"Where is Ron today? He didn't lose himself did he?" She laughed.

"No, though it wouldn't surprise me. He's working."

"Oh. What does he do?" She took another drink from the bottle. It was very tasty.

"He's an Auror for The Ministry of Magic. Well, he's still training somewhat but getting work anyway." She was pushing a piece of hair out of her eyes.

"What's an Auror? I'm still a little deprived." She tried to smile but it only made it half way across her mouth.

"A dark wizard catcher. It's similar to police and spy investigators in the muggle world."

"Oh I see. Yes, now I remember, Professor Lupin mentioned the word Auror when we were talking the other day about Voldemort. It's terrible what happened."

"Yes, it was. There was a lot of loss and grief but that is what he was best at, causing discord among the society." She looked a little sad but she took another drink.

"Did you know Harry Potter? Lupin mentioned he was only my age." She was becoming more curious as they talked.

Hermione paused for a moment then smiled, more to her self. "Yes… he is my best friend, along with Ron. We were always together growing up. He's an Auror too." She was bracing herself mentally for the questions she knew would be shot up.

Seda raised her eyebrows and she looked as though she didn't believe her ears. "So… so then you were… involved?" She said very hesitantly and quiet.

"Well, yes I was. I never backed away from Harry's side for a minute, until he actually vanished Voldemort for good." Hermione looked away from Seda and tried smiling at her daughter. "It seems very strange still to have life go back to normal after so many years of chaos. Part of me will never be the same, there was too much pain and suffering involved." She looked down at her bottle and ran a finger around the rim.

"I'm really sorry to hear that. Lupin said that was basically the aftermath of the wars. He also said he knew an ex Death Eater that will never forgive himself for what he had done, even though people accept him. I feel horrible just thinking how he must feel."

Hermione's eyes darted up at Seda. "Yes, I'd imagine it would be rather depressing." Her eyes drifted away from her and around the room.

They sat in silence for a minute except for the giggles coming from the child. She thought it was hilarious to make her glass float off to the other side of the table. The two girls both laughed finally.

"How old is Madison?" Seda said smiling at the tiny toddler. "You just look young to have a baby."

"Well getting married and having children wasn't something I planned for myself this early but life is full of surprises. She turned two last month."

"Then you had her when you were in school?" She looked fascinated.

"She was born the month after I graduated form Hogwarts. Ron and I were married six months later. It was a very unexpected thing to find out I was pregnant, but I was thrilled. I wouldn't take back what happened for anything. I think Madison was meant to be and she was a gift." She stroked the little girl's head.

"That's wonderful. I would do the same as you if that were to happen. It's very common for girls our age to get pregnant then just abandon the responsibility of having a baby. I just think that's sickening. How could you leave an innocent little child like that?"

"Yes, I would never dream of doing that and I despise those who do. Even though I was young I realized she was a miracle and being a mother has changed everything. I simply adore it and I soak up every second of the passing days."

"So you are what, twenty or so?"

"I will be next month." She was fixing a pigtail on her daughter's head.

"Neat. I'll be twenty in October." She watched as the toddler fussed about her mother touching her hair. "Professor Snape seemed to be impressed by your maturity of the situation." She just remembered their conversation about Hermione.

"Did he?" Hermione looked back at Seda who took a sip from the bottle.

"Yes. He said that you were one of the few students to pass thru Hogwarts having his approval of having brains. He also mentioned how well you handled yourself being pregnant and that Ron was worthy because he didn't abandon you."

Hermione raised an eyebrow but laughed. "Ha. That is probably the nicest thing he has ever said about me. He always liked to pick on me for being good at Potions and for knowing more then my own good. He usually called me a silly child and completely ignored me. It wasn't until my seventh year that he was a tad more civil and accepted me as a person and not an annoying little girl." She looked flustered.

"I can definitely see that about him. He calls me a silly girl every now and then when he is impatient. I can barely express my opinion of the matter with out him snapping at me. He's very difficult to get a long with but I admire him actually. He seems to be very intelligent and he's not really arrogant about it, he just likes to be right… always."

"Bingo. That is Snape to a tee. As mad as he made me I always respected him though. He's not really what he seems, you just have to get to know him. He is brilliant but very hotheaded, bad combination." They both laughed at that. Seda was glad she had someone to talk to. She already was missing her truest friends from home but it was nice to have Hermione close to Hogwarts so they could chat.

They talked for nearly two hours, about all sorts of things; school, spells, potions, and life in general. Madison was actually very good for sitting there for two hours. She amused herself by singing the alphabet and counting to ten repeatedly, but it was entertaining to see her crack her self up after a round of hide and seek under the table. She was precious and it made Seda miss her little girls she taught. Eventually Hermione and Seda died down the conversation after having two butterbeers each.

"Well I should be going. I need to get Madison down for a nap or she'll be a complete monster at bedtime."

"Yeah, I should probably finish my shopping and head back to the castle. I still want to finish some books before Wednesday." They both started to stand up.

"It was so nice to run into you again Seda. Maybe we can do that more often. I'm usually doing nothing except watching Madison during the day."

"Oh that would be fine. So far you are the only friend I have here. I don't know anyone, except the staff so far, but they're not exactly my age. It's nice to have someone to talk to, you know." She smiled warmly at her.

"Yes, I know what you mean. I don't have any girl friends except Ron's younger sister, and she is in college so I hardly ever see her."

"Alright, well I'm not sure what my schedule is for the week but maybe we can meet Saturday and I can tell you all about my first week in Hogwarts."

"Sure, I know you are going to like it, it's really wonderful." She picked up the toddler and held her in her arms moving towards the door and Seda opened it for them.

"Ok, I guess I'll you here at the same time Saturday then. It was really fun talking to you… and Madison." She beamed down at the pint-sized witch. She waved back at her as they walked out onto the street. "Bye, see you."

"Good luck this week. Bye." They smiled at each other and then walked their separate ways.

Seda wandered around for another half hour, collecting more items she may need at Hogwarts. When she was satisfied she headed back up to the castle. It was nearly lunchtime, well about an hour away, so she just went up to her rooms anyway.

"Cherry jellybeans" She said five minutes later and when she went to drop the bags of stuff in an armchair she stopped, holding the bags out over the chair in mid air. A few garments lie on the back of the chair. A scarf with red and gold stripes, wooly warm gloves, a sweater with a lion on it and two robes with the Hogwarts crest and the other with a Lion.

She put the bags down on the floor and picked up each article of clothing to examine them closer. Who sent these she thought. And just as she wrapped the scarf around her neck a knock came bouncing of the door. Without taking off the scarf she walked over to the door and when she opened it McGonagall was standing there.

"Hello Professor." She smiled at the elderly witch.

"I just wanted to see if you had found your new belongings and I see that you have." She bore a very tight smile but her eyes were friendly.

"Oh yes, I just got back from Hogsmeade actually. What are these for?" She looked curious.

"Now that you are a proud member of Gryffindor House you can't walk around with out showing your pride in house. All students receive these garments in first year and wear Hogwarts robes to class and scarves to school activities, like Quidditch."

"Oh. I didn't know I was actually considered a student, like everyone else."

"Well you still are considered one since you are here to learn, but not all the rules apply to you like students. In some ways you are considered part of the staff but you will attend classes and also receive private lessons from teachers to help you catch up. There will be a schedule sent to you by this evening, just as soon as we go over a few last details."

"That's wonderful professor, I look forward to it." She smiled more broadly while twirling the fringe on the scarf in her fingers.

"Well, that is all as of now. I'll let you know if anything else should come up. I know you'll be a splendid Gryffindor so keep up the studying Miss Wood. Hard work always pays off in the end with bountiful rewards and benefits." She smiled then dropped her voice hardly above a whisper. "Besides, Professor Snape will be annoyed that I have another brilliant Gryffindor to show him up. He's quite disappointed that you weren't added to his noble house of Slytherins, so don't be surprised if he starts to knock off points because of frustration." She smirked and then straightened her glasses.

"Anyway, Miss Wood, if you should have any questions let me know." She nodded and then strode off down the hall.

Seda couldn't help but laugh at what her head of house had just said. She sensed a bit of house rivalry between McGonagall and Snape and she thought maybe it would be fun to annoy Snape anyway just because she could. She shook her head to rid herself of laughing but she couldn't help the giggles. She picked up all her new garments and draped them over her arm then went into the bedroom to hang them up or put them in a drawer.

After putting all her things from Hogsmeade and McGonagall away she grabbed a book and tossed herself on the enormous bed. She was going to read as many books as she could until her eyes fell out. She wanted to feel prepared for the first day and she dreaded the thought that a bunch of eleven year olds were going to be more advanced then she was. She also didn't want to look like a fool in front of the staff when she couldn't manage to carry a conversation about something interesting in the wizarding world. So she spent the last of the free days reading… and studying… and experimenting with spells and charms.

Finally the day of the Start of Term Feast she couldn't seem to stop the jitters spreading thru her arms. Every time she tried to pick something up it would shake and almost fall out of her hands. As nervous as she was she was welcoming the challenges before her and if it was the last thing she did she was going to exceed more then anyone could have expected, even her self.


	17. A Calming Potion Induces More than Sleep

Well here I am with yet another chapter... woo hoo I know! All right, let's get started shall we? Just like you faithful readers I'm eager to get the year started off for Seda… and Severus, hee! Ah, I get such a thrill when I think what is going to come but that's something I know and you have to wait, unfortunately. I know it's a bummer but HaHa! Ok, Ok I'm really just kidding, I just can't help myself. Ok, back to the chapter.

Seda woke on Wednesday to a sunny, cheerful, bird-chirping day. The entire world it seemed was happy except Seda. She was eager to meet the students but she was still scared of the reactions... theirs and hers.

Breakfast was a joke. Everything she touched fell over and anything she ate didn't seem to agree with her. She knew she would be nervous but not that nervous surely. All those years of competing and performing you think would help ease anticipation and nerves but this was something different. She just felt like the students would really look down upon her since she started so late, but then again that wasn't really her fault. After a few impatient glares and remarks from Snape she forced herself to keep composure, at least around other people and especially him. He wasn't looking forward to start of term at all it appeared.

Lunch was almost a nightmare. She didn't think that anything could be worse then the way she felt at breakfast… but she was wrong. Instead of being polite to Snape and apologizing for her unusual clumsiness she became very snappy and irritable. Every time she fumbled with a utensil or glass he would make a comment as to why she was acting so strangely and instead of his usual biting replies she threw them at him instead. Well, he deserved it anyway. He was always getting short with her so why not turn the tables. Besides, she had a right to be utterly nervous so it was his problem now.

She was just leaving the Great Hall and turning to go up the stairs to her rooms when a familiar cold voice came behind her. "Miss Wood, if you have a moment I would like for you to visit me in my office." It sounded like he never noticed the mood she was in or the way she treated him earlier and that he tried to sound encouraging almost, even friendly.

"Why." She snapped as her hand was placed on the banister and she had a foot on the stairs. "So you can make more annoyed remarks about my being clumsy?" She whipped around and saw that he looked calm and unnerved by what she said so she quickly added "professor." She felt a little dumb at how childish she just sounded.

Snape raised his head slightly and gave a small smirk. 'She's completely lost it.' He was thinking but he answered as civilly as he could. "Follow me Miss Wood." He turned towards the dungeons and walked rather calmly and sophisticatedly with his cloak billowing out behind him. Seda paused and thought what kind of trick he was going to pull but reluctantly she followed.

Snape entered his office and walked over to a chair and pulled it out for her. She walked a bit more briskly then he did and stood on the other side of the chair staring at him.

"Sit" He commanded and with out thinking she plopped herself into the chair not bothering to hold herself up properly. She flung her arms out over the armrests and let her legs relax comfortably. The chair was kind of comfy so why not take advantage of it.

Snape watched her for a second then strode over to his cabinet and took out a small vial. He walked back to his desk and sat down. He set the potion on the desk in front of her then sat back in his chair with his hands folded on his lap and stared at her.

Seda looked from Snape to the vial and back to Snape. "What's that for?" She said nodding her head at it.

"That is a calming potion. It will ease your nerves so you become less," He smirked in an evil way, "irritable and irrational." He let the words slip away slowly from his tongue. He stared her down as if she was a convict denying murder.

Seda controlled the urge to let steam puff out her ears and roll her eyes. Instead she forced herself to talk normally. Snape sensed she was holding back her annoyance so he gave a feeble little half smile at the corner of his mouth.

"And why do you think I need that sir?" She tried to look innocent. She knew she had been somewhat ridiculous earlier with him.

"I feel it is probably for the safety of your sanity… and my nerves." He lowered his head. He then leaned forward to rest his hands on the desk. "You see, if you hadn't noticed, you have been slightly temperamental around me today and when I ask you a simple question you tend to rage at me." He continued to stare at her though he didn't seem mad like he normally did on occasion.

Seda pursed her lips together and held back a snort. He was one to talk about getting temperamental with people. Ha. Maybe he should try some of this potion, it would probably benefit him more then her. "Well, I'm sorry professor for behaving the way I did, but I can't help it." She tried to sound as sweet as pie but she knew he was going to see right through that. He just looked at her like she was an interesting specimen of rare breed. She couldn't take the silence and his being calm so she gave in to the feelings rising inside her. "Why do you have to stare at me like that? You are the one who is making me… irritable and irrational." She tried to mock his voice but now she knew she had just pushed the limit. Oops.

Severus merely raised an eyebrow. He seemed to find this situation amusing for some odd reason. He traced his mouth with one of his long, delicate fingers. He was just going to wait, as hard as it was, until she realized how childish she was acting. It took a lot of strength for him to bite back his remarks that he knew would make her shut up.

"What!" She yelled as she threw her hands in the air and stared at the ceiling. "Fine, I can be quiet too." She dropped her head so she could stare at him as she crossed her arms on her chest and crossed one leg over the other. She sat there with her foot tapping in the air and her lips pouting out. And she just stared him down like he was.

Severus almost had the urge to laugh slightly at how difficult and yet funny she was acting. Normally he did not tolerate this sort of behavior to any extent, but he knew why she was acting like this and the least he could do was offer to help, which didn't seem to be working. Impatience was swelling in his chest but he held it back. If he lost it then she was really going to have a go at him. He knew he was the more demanding and intimidating figure here, which he loved having that benefit through out the years, but that didn't seem to bother her. She apparently didn't care how powerful he was and what he was capable of doing but she wouldn't back down. She was going to fight back… and he found that interesting for some reason.

Her eyes were flashing with frustration but they glimmered at him. She looked somewhat; he hated to use the phrase because it was sickening, but cute in a childish and maddening way that she glared at him with her lips pouting out. Her foot dangled and when he didn't answer back eventually she bit her lower lip. Ah, showing signs of weakness, that's just what he wanted. Just a few more moments of staring and annoying silence and he would have her right in his hands. He was happy with himself that he could still show control and dominance over the forceful girl.

Seda couldn't take it anymore. Finally she realized it was never going to end so she gave in. She hated herself for causing forfeit but at least she could just get this over with. "All right professor, how do I take it?" She lowered her hands and gripped the chair while closing her eyes for a second. Oh, she just wanted to scream.

Ha, yes. He had done it. His stare never fails and now he could express his annoyance with out her fighting back. "Just drink the entire vial full." He dropped his finger to point at it. "If you think you need to that is." He let his silky voice linger in the air.

"Straight?" She looked disgusted. She knew how nasty it was going to taste, yuck.

"Straight." He repeated her in a final tone. This was well worth the wait. Watching her having to drink this not so delicious potion.

Seda reached forward for the vial the size of her middle finger. She looked at it like it was going to jump at her and slowly she uncorked it. The scent of it drifting up to her nose was making her want to throw up again. She took a very deep breath and closed her eyes. She raised it to her lips and scrunched her nose. It was now or never. She threw her head back and downed the potion into her throat. She felt like she was gagging. She was just going to yell at him for giving her this disgusting goo when she began to think maybe he was right about her needing it. She started to feel relaxed and comfortable. She didn't care anymore.

A dreamy expression came over her once disgusted face. Severus knew it was working immediately so he spoke. "Now, if you should feel you are having another…" He searched for the words, "mental breakdown" Yes that was it. "Then be sure to see me for another potion. I can assure you I have plenty." Not to mention he has plenty of jinxes and curses that would work too and a few poisons. He smirked to himself and stood up.

Seda put the empty vial back on his desk and stood up also. She walked over to the door and turned back with her hand on the handle. "Thanks. Maybe I _was_ losing my sanity for awhile." She smiled at him and she was glowing now. She felt absolutely light hearted. "Um, I have things to finish professor so I'll see you later." She was beginning to feel a bit awkward so she rushed the words out of her mouth. "Thank you again." She dashed up the stairs and was gone from view.

Seda ran up to the Entrance Hall and stopped when she got to the stairs. She did feel much more relaxed now but for some reason she didn't feel right sitting there in his office. She didn't know why but she didn't really care. She thought it would be best to leave anyway. She headed up to her rooms much more happily then she would have before. Those potions really work.

The thing about it was ever since that… moment she and Snape had every time she saw him she felt very shy, except for when she was yelling at him. She couldn't look him in the eye directly for more then a few seconds and when ever he was near she became very self-conscious. The worst part was she had private lessons, tutoring actually, with all the teachers and being around Snape alone was starting to make her feel… different. It's not that she didn't trust him she just felt like she couldn't be her self anymore. She was always very open with him but now she seemed more distant and so did he. Well, he never was very open. He's actually more the type that never talks about him self or discuss things in a friendly matter. It was always business like or teacherly. He was a teacher so she could understand that but it was just not the same.

She entered her rooms and then shrugged it off. She had more important things to worry about now anyway. Like keeping up her grades while she was here. She was always a high honor roll student but that was in the muggle world. The wizarding world was different and now that she was behind she would have to work extra hard. She didn't mind the hard work though it was just the fact would she be successful. That is what scared her most. She wanted to do well because she's very ambitious and her success here will change her life. She supposed she could always fall back on her muggle college degree but she liked the wizarding world so much now. She felt so normal here, like it was really home. She sighed as she stepped into the bedroom. What will happen will happen she supposed. And what ever that may be she will just have to accept.

At five thirty Seda left her rooms for the Great Hall. Students were to arrive at six so she wanted to be on time. She had changed into her Hogwarts robes that were black velvet and embroidered with golden threads. Her hair was tied up in a graceful knot and she looked much older then usual. She could have passed for one of the teachers most likely. She entered the hall and walked up to her seat with more confidence then she had earlier that day. She took her seat next to Severus who was not there yet, actually only one other was there so far and that was Dumbledore. He sat perched in his high back chair with a dreamy gaze on his face. His fingertips were together as he held his hands on his lap and stared up at the ceiling. It didn't look like he noticed her come in so she didn't interrupt his thoughts. She sat quietly with her hands folded in her lap as well and waited.

"Feeling a bit more relaxed Seda?" Dumbledore spoke in his soft misty voice.

She turned her head and answered, "Yes Headmaster, Professor Snape gave me a calming potion this afternoon." She didn't know what else to add. She always felt very unsure what to say around him because he was the Headmaster and he commanded such a respectful appearance. She never spoke to him unless he spoke first.

"No need to worry about the students Seda. As ferocious as they may look in the wild they are kind and understanding in person. Do not feel like you are not as important or worthy as them because of your situation, in time you will see what will come of you." He continued to gaze at the ceiling and when she said nothing he dropped his head to look at the door, he smiled then he looked at her. "Every person in their life time must surpass obstacles and not always alone will they need to conquer it. You will find that encouragement will be found in the most unexpected of places," His eyes looked like they flashed towards the door but it was so fast she thought it was only the light. "Or people."

His smile didn't fade but his eyes twinkled at her as they so often did. He continued to look back up at the ceiling with his fingertips tapping in his lap.

Seda didn't know how to respond so she said nothing at all. She rested her hands on the table and rotated her thumbs to give her something to do. She glanced over at him and he was still staring at the ceiling, which tonight was majestic blue and stars were glowing behind the soft curtains of feathery clouds. The door opened and Seda looked to see whom it was. Snape was gliding up to the staff table and tiny little Flitwick and Lupin was not far behind. They all took their seats and Snape eyed her curiously as he sat down. Seda could see this out of the corner of her eye but she continued to look forward.

Within ten minutes all the staff was seated at the table except for McGonagall. She looked around the hall to see where she was but she didn't see her. She shrugged in her mind and looked back at the door as if she was waiting for a stampede to come thundering through. She was content for several minutes drumming her fingertips on the table until a low voice made her stop.

"Professor McGonagall brings the first years into the Great Hall and up to the table for the sorting ceremony."

Seda kept her head forward but her eyes shifted ever so slightly. "Oh." She wasn't trying to be rude but she really didn't know what to add. Snape didn't seem to mind. It seemed the less she talked the happier he was, or less annoyed.

"I see that you are not in need of another potion. I trust the first one has held over fine." He was looking at the doors too.

"Yes, thank you." She blinked and lifted her chin slightly. Her fingers began to tap the table again and when she noticed Snape staring down at them with his eyes she quickly removed her hands from the table and tucked them in her lap. He smirked and returned his eyes back to the doors. He didn't even need to speak to have his commands obeyed.

Seda turned her head and opened her mouth to say something but she stopped and then looked away. She was hoping he didn't notice but he always noticed everything. It was like he had super senses or something she thought.

"Is there something you wanted to say Miss Wood or were you exercising your jaw?" He said in his silky soft voice.

She scrunched her nose at him and she was going to answer back but was saved the trouble when attention turned to the doors. Masses of black clumps came pouring in through the doors and seated themselves around the tables. It looked like it was never going to stop. Hundreds of students were filing around and talking loudly. Seda took a deep breath and prepared herself. Hopefully if she didn't move to much no one would notice her.

Her eyes were darting from every corner of the room as she paused on certain people. They were all to busy chatting with their neighbors to notice any one new so she sighed to herself. Snape looked around the room once and then turned his attention to Seda, which he noticed looked a little overwhelmed.

"This is more then a few as Dumbledore mentioned." Seda leaned over to Snape as she spoke in a whisper. "There's more like a thousand of them," She looked up at his eyes and she added "professor." She adjusted her shoulders and sat up straighter in the chair.

"They are not going to come chasing after you Miss Wood so don't be fearful of a few hundred children."

"I'm not scared of them I just wasn't expecting so many. Besides, I'm actually looking forward to meeting them, not running away professor." She almost rolled her eyes at him but she controlled herself. Snape didn't answer.

"Are you ready for your first term at Hogwarts Seda?" Lupin spoke this time, sounding much more friendly.

She was glad he was talking to her. "Yes, very much so. I'm really looking forward to your class actually. I've read somewhat about the subject and it sounds fascinating." She smiled at him.

"That's good to hear. I'm sure you won't have any problems comprehending it. You are already advancing quickly. I've heard you have read three entire spell books so far, which is advanced in it self. You must like to read."

"Yes, I suppose I do. I've been enchanted by books ever since I could read. I have a rather large collection at home but there are plenty here to keep me interested."

"Good. It will be interesting to see how you progress." He turned his head to the doors. "Ah, here come our new students. They always wear the same expressions on their faces. All of fascination or fright."

Seda looked over at the doors and saw McGonagall walking down the middle aisle with several young witches and wizards behind her. This was it. It was finally going to start.

Seda sat through the sorting entranced. She understood the frightened looks on their faces. Luckily for her though she was only in the presence of two others. That was a relief. She couldn't imagine what it would feel like to sit their under the hat in front of so many people, especially since she was almost ten years older then they were.

Seda appeared to be in a haze. Everything that was happening was going so fast but it felt like slow motion. She concentrated on the events around her but it was like she was dreaming it. Where you can't really hear anything but you know exactly what is being said, very odd she thought. It wasn't until her name was said that her senses and subconscious mind came drifting back to her. Dumbledore was standing up and talking to the crowd. Seda felt hundreds of pairs of eyes turn to her and she began to feel very small.

"Miss Seda Wood is our newest member of the school having traveled from America. She will be here to learn just like the rest of you and it would be so helpful for you all to treat her with kindness and respect. I ask for a round of applause for our newest student."

Dumbledore turned to her and smiled as he began to clap at her. The entire staff table looked at her now and they too, along with the students put their hands together. This was something she was really not expecting, not at all. She tried to smile but all that happened was a sort of breathless and weak movement of her lips. She stared around the room in shock and her eyes fell upon Severus. She stared at him for a moment as her heart leapt into the sky. She smiled more broadly when she looked at him and then she blinked at him and her gaze moved elsewhere. The clapping died down and Dumbledore began to speak once more. Whatever he was saying she couldn't understand because she was still floating in the clouds and then all she remembered was food appearing out of nowhere.

The feast went by in a blur. It was as if she took a bite of her chicken and then it was over. Students were heading out of the hall and to their common rooms and Seda stood behind the staff table waiting for them all to leave so she could go up with out being bumped in to. She thought it was beginning to look clear so she headed around to the aisle and out towards the doors. A few teachers passed her on the way out and smiled at her or told her congratulations. She didn't know why she needed the congratulating but she accepted it anyway. She walked rather slowly out of the hall and Snape came up behind her.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning in potions Miss Wood." He said at her side and she didn't notice he was there so she jumped slightly. "I do not have to brew you a sense awareness potion do I now?" He said as he stopped to look down at her.

"Oh, no professor. I was just thinking." She looked around the hall then up to him.

"Try thinking in a more conscious state then or you will find that you will be startled more often." He lowered his head and gave her a look that meant he was being very serious that was for her own good.

"Uh, right. See you in the morning sir." She lowered her eyes away from his stare and swept past him and up the stairs. Snape drifted off to his dungeons. When she reached the second landing in the Entrance Hall she glanced back with her hand on the banister and saw his cloak swishing down the stairs and out of sight. She continued to the Grand Staircase and up to her rooms.

When she was heading up the stairs she was passing a group of older students, not much younger then she was, with symbols of Ravenclaw House on their robes. Some of them followed her with their eyes and a few even said hellos. Seda turned to them to smile back and return the greeting. A few of the older boys let their eyes travel down her body and back up again before they attempted to say hi. Nothing came out of their mouths so they just hung there open half way. She smiled anyway and continued up the stairs.

'Boys' She thought as she reached her rooms. "They are all the same, no matter where you are." She said out loud as she closed the door to her room. She walked straight to the bathroom and pulled off all her clothes in the process. She turned the taps in the tub and let it fill up with oils, soaps and bubbles and then she let herself sink into the warmness of the water. It felt so nice to indulge in the steaminess and softness of the water and relax after a nervous day. This was definitely helping to soothe her mind and she rested her eyes as she let her head tilt back against the marble wall.

Forty-five minutes later she stepped out of the bath and pulled on a set of silk pajamas. She wasn't all that tired yet so she tried to read by the fire but she couldn't concentrate. She tried going to sleep. She lied there for almost a half an hour but nothing was happening. When she couldn't sleep at home she would go for night walks around the neighborhood so that is what she decided to do. She got up and pulled on a robe and slippers, grabbed her wand and headed out of the room.

It was around ten so everyone else should be sleeping which meant she wouldn't be disturbed. She wandered around the silent corridors lit by candlelight exploring the castle. She walked up to the highest floor and examined the hallways and she continued this method down every floor. She must have been out for almost an hour and she was finally beginning to feel tired so she headed back to her rooms. She was just leaving the third floor and thinking about what she would learn in her lessons tomorrow when she heard a cracking noise and her foot sank through the stairs.

"Oh no." She said as she looked down to see her foot stuck in the floor up to her knee. She huffed and then bent over to pull it out but it was not moving… at all. She continued to pull but it was just making it worse. "Great, just great Seda." She told her self. She could yell for help but everyone would be sleeping. The only thing she could do now was wait until morning when someone would find her. She sat down on the step above it and rested her elbows on her knees and put her chin on her hands. She could just imagine how dumb she was going to look to the students sitting there in her pajamas and slippers stuck in the stairs. What an idiot they would think of her. She sighed then waited… and waited.

Severus was walking around the first floor corridor, patrolling as he always did. The first night always lured troublemakers to cause mischief thinking they wouldn't get caught but little did they know Snape wasn't to be fooled. He was just coming out from behind a tapestry that came from another hallway when he started up the stairs. He climbed the stairs and when he was at the bottom of the third floor landing he looked up to see a very interesting sight. It wasn't just a student it was Seda. Apparently she had gotten stuck.

He walked up the steps and when he was just a few below her he stopped. Her arms were folded up on her knees and her head was resting on her arms. Her eyes were closed and her lashes feathered against her skin. She sat there silenced by sleep and she looked very peaceful. He had no idea how long she had been there because it was nearly twelve thirty. He tried saying her name softly to wake her up but she didn't move. He tried a bit louder and she still didn't wake. He tried prodding her shoulders but she was in too much of a deep sleep. He stared at her for a moment as she sailed off in dream world. She looked so calm and delicate entranced by sleep and he felt guilty waking her, especially after the state she was in that morning. It was rather strange she didn't wake up but that calming potion does induce heavy sleep side effects.

He pointed his wand at her leg that was wedged in the step and he then picked her up in his arms and carried her off to her rooms. She didn't seem to mind that someone was carrying her because she put one arm around his neck and the other she clutched his robes with her little hand. Her head was rested against his chest and she looked like she was sinking into his embrace.

Severus muttered some charm at her door and it opened. He carried her into her bedroom and gently put her down on the bed. As she molded into the softness of the bed she let out a tiny sigh and one of her arms fell to rest above her head on the pillow. Her other hand was still holding onto his robes so it pulled him down slightly so he wasn't far from her. The moonlight cast shadows and highlights across her hair and face and it illuminated the glowing in her skin. He looked down at her and it looked like she was made of milk and honey. A strand of hair was thrown across her face so he tentatively took one of his graceful hands and pushed it off gently. He could feel the warmth of her breath on his skin and the sweet smell of sensual oils drifting to his nose.

Her hand was still was holding his robes and he tried to take it off gently without waking her but he failed.

Her eyes blinked open half way and the blue in her eyes was still clouded by sleep though they still had a glistening shadow behind the haziness. She fluttered her lashes softly and looked lazily into his eyes. He was still bent over from her grip so he was hardly a foot from her. It didn't even look like she knew what she was doing but the hand she gripped him with released and softly glided up to his neck. She continued to stare sleepily into his eyes and ever so slightly a small smile crept at the corner of her lips.

His hand was still in her hair and he couldn't look away from her. Something in those eyes captured him just like before. He didn't even know what he was doing but his face loomed closer to hers. He could almost taste the sweetness of her luscious lips when he paused. He knew this wasn't right but it felt right. Before he finished his thoughts he could feel the smoothness of her lips feathered against his so very softly. She closed her eyes again in a dreamy way but she was still awake. He couldn't believe this was happening and he shouldn't allow it but all logical sense was leaving him. All he knew was the taste of her lips and he wanted nothing more.

A minute later Severus pulled away after he felt her hand grip his collar. He looked into her eyes that were now open and he smoothed her hair once more before he stood. She looked up at him for a moment then she let her eyelids close once more. She curled into a ball and fell asleep once more but the faint smile never left her lips. As she drifted off into the safety of her dreams he walked away from her slowly. When he reached the bedroom door he looked back at her and watched her sleep cozily as the moonlight spilled on the bed around her and then he turned and swept out of the rooms.

A calming potion induces more then just peace…


	18. The Draught of the Private Potions Sessi...

Ok, so how was that last bit of chapter seventeen? I had envisioned that so perfectly and when the moment came to write it… well it turned out exactly how I was hoping it would. Ahem, ok let's get to the next chapter. I'm too excited not to start writing so let's go! Toodles and Enjoy!

A figure began to drift towards her. A black mysterious creature kept calling her to it. She wanted to go near it and feel it's touch so she stepped onto the glassy water and it felt like hot ice. Her robe was blowing in the breeze and she was getting so much closer. It called her again and she stretched out her hand to reach for it. She was almost there; she could just see its blurry face. Her fingertips were just within reach and something began to tug on her legs. She was being pulled under the water and the graceful figure was disappearing. She screamed for it to help her but it just stared at her drifting away. She couldn't breathe anymore, her lungs were filling up with water and everything was turning black. A small opening at the surface was becoming smaller and smaller as she was drowning in the blackness. Her lungs felt like they were exploding and then she saw nothing more, only black and it called to her in the silence, soft as the wind.

As Seda made her way down to breakfast the next morning she met several of the students. Most of the ones she passed said hello and were very friendly. This wasn't so bad she thought, at least they aren't staring at her like she's an alien or some other strange species. She walked through the Great Hall and as she headed up to the staff table many of the students turned their heads to see her go past. She could hear whispering and muttered words but she didn't care.

She took her spot next to Severus as usual. He didn't look at her right away. Only when she put her hand to her forehead and sighed did he glance at her. She felt weak again and shaky like the last few times she had that dream. She couldn't understand it, she never had dreams like that before so why was it starting now. It was horrible... it felt so real. Every time she would wake up to a cold sweat and heavy panting like she really was drowning. She felt a little dizzy but she tried to eat. She poured herself some hot tea and sipped it for a while then she tried a muffin, but she couldn't stand the sight of food.

Severus watched Seda pick at her muffin with a gloomy expression on her face out of the corner of his eye. She hadn't talked to him yet that morning and he hadn't said anything either. Maybe what happened last night was completely wrong and she was not speaking to him? He tried to avoid it as much as possible but he just felt like she was ignoring him because of that. He should have had more control and walked away, but he couldn't think straight. Well if she was going to pretend it didn't happen then so was he. He returned to his meal though glanced at her every few seconds just to make sure she really was ignoring him. She continued to pick at her muffin and she hadn't eaten one bit of it. Perhaps he made her ill from that… well what he did to her. He was very unsure of himself but he was glad actually that she didn't bring it up.

"To eat something is to put the desired food in your mouth you know not just to stare at it." Seda turned her head and smiled at Lupin, well she tried to. "Not feeling sick because of the first day are you?" He smiled back at her.

"No professor. I'm just tired. I'm not nervous about classes at all I just feel a little dizzy, that's all." She tried to smile again but it didn't make it. She looked back down at her plate full of muffin crumbs then took another sip of tea. As long as she drank something she would be all right, she hoped.

Her first lesson that day was Charms with the second years. She was a bit nervous about starting at that level already but maybe it would be good for her. She headed up to the second floor, a little early but she could get a good seat then. She walked into the charms room and little Flitwick was sitting at his desk on a pile of books.

"Oh hello Miss Wood. Arriving early, very good." He squeaked as she stepped behind a desk in the front of the room. She smiled and then sat down. She took out her charms book, notepaper and a quill and waited for the rest of the class.

She still had about five minutes before any of the students would show up so she spoke to Flitwick who was writing in a book. "Excuse me professor."

"Oh yes, what it is it?" He looked up and seemed rather merry that she was talking.

"I was just wondering if perhaps starting in a second year class would be to advanced for me. I only know a few charms so should I really be in this class?"

"Oh come now Miss Wood. I've been told you have been doing quite a bit of reading in the past week and you have managed some difficult spells. No need to worry, you will be just fine, no doubt."

She tried to smile back at him but she just nodded her head. Students were starting to enter the room and they looked much younger then she did so she began to feel a bit out of place but she sat there confident anyway. A few of them looked at her but most of them took seats around the classroom and chatted.

Near the end of the class Seda had taken almost a roll full of notes and succeeded in learning two new charms, faster then anyone in the class. She was surprised to find that she learned them quite easily. Maybe she would be able to catch up after all. She was actually smiling to herself as she left the classroom. Perhaps all the classes wouldn't be that lucky though. Her next class was Transfiguration with first years. She hadn't done any practicing on this subject yet so she probably wouldn't be as successful.

The first thing they were learning to do was transfigure a porcupine quill into a needle. Seda did this to her amazement on her second try. She progressed to larger objects like pens, branches and logs and found it to be fairly simple. She could hardly believe how fast she was able to do this. She would never have expected this, especially on her first day. McGonagall seemed very impressed with her also so she awarded her five house points, which put Seda in a great mood. Her first day and she leaned to new charms, transfigured four objects successfully and was awarded five house points. The day was going very well and when she got to lunch she forgot all about her headache.

She sat down and intended to eat more then she did at breakfast but when she put food on her plate it didn't look appetizing anymore. She tried to eat some of her potatoes but she skipped those and went to her turkey. She skipped that too. Nothing looked good to her that day so she began to pick at her food like she did with her muffin. She sat there for hardly ten minutes and left because the smell of it was making her sick. She thought she might just go down to the dungeons and at least start unpacking her ingredients and things. So she left the hall and descended the steps to the cool dungeons.

She was a bit nervous about this class because she was going to brew a potion at third year level today. The subject fascinated her and she read about it as much as she could but brewing it was different.

She entered the classroom almost a half hour early and not even Snape was there yet. She found a spot at the front of the room and set down her cauldron. She unloaded all her equipment and notes then sat down and waited, like she did as usual that day. It was almost five minutes later when she heard footstep echoing on the stone floor.

Severus walked into the classroom reading a piece of parchment. He didn't even notice the person in the front of the room until he lowered the notes away from his face. He was just behind her when he saw Seda sitting at the table. She was early…why? Thoughts raced his mind. He was hoping she wasn't there to confront him about last night so he walked to the front of the room and stood behind the desk.

"I see that you wasted no time in getting here." He looked down at his desk looking over his attendance sheet.

Seda had her head in her hands. She thought if she pushed hard enough she could force the headache to go away but it just made it worse. She looked up at him with her eyes half open from pain. "I wasn't hungry so I decided to come early." Her elbows were resting on the desk and she had her hands on either side of her forehead, holding herself up.

Snape still didn't look up. "You didn't seem to eat much during breakfast, you are not attempting to starve yourself are you?" He sounded uninterested in her answer.

"No, I… it's because of last night." She sounded very drowsy.

Snape's eyes stopped moving on the spot. He felt like someone had dropped a rock in his stomach. He knew it, she was here to talk about last night and now he was trapped. How was he gong to explain his way out of this? He looked up at her slowly. Maybe if he didn't answer right away she might feel uncomfortable and decide not to ask about it.

Seda took a deep breath then looked down at the table where she was rubbing her fingertips together. She sighed and then spoke as if she was going to regret it. "I had another dream last night professor. Every time I wake up after it I feel sick and I don't know why I keep having that dream. It's so… odd." She continued to stare at her hands.

Snape felt a bit of relief in the tension twisted in his stomach. He thought surely for a moment that she was going to bring up last night. He had almost forgotten what she had just said until she looked up at him… with those eyes, again. Why couldn't he master himself when they sparkled at him like that? He shook his brain inside his head and then spoke to her. "Was it exactly the same or did it progress any further." He tried to sound as normal as he could.

"It was exactly the same except every time I come a bit closer to the figure. But in the end I always…" She didn't want to finish because she thought it would sound to dramatic. So instead she looked away from him and over to the wall.

He came out from behind the desk and stopped in front of her. He crossed his arms and stared down at her. "You always what, Miss Wood." His voice was calm but demanding.

"I always… die." She looked away from his stare as best she could but she could sense his eyes on her face. She blinked and looked back down at her hands. "And you know what the weird part is? Last night I went for a walk around the castle and I accidentally got stuck in that trick step. All I remember was…" She raised her head to look up at him.

Oh drat, he thought. She remembered the kiss, but how couldn't she, she was awake. He prepared himself for it. He was going to tell her it was a mistake and it should have never happened. He was bracing himself for what she was going to say about him. "Yes" He answered in a voice that sounded distant.

"All I remember was sitting on the stairs then waking up to find myself in my bed, hardly able to breathe because of what happened." She looked a bit scared as she gazed at him.

"What happened?" He already knew what the answer was... they kissed.

"What happened?" She looked at him like he was being ridiculous. "I told you." She did? He thought. No she didn't. "I died in my dream, that's what happened."

Severus felt another relief pass thru his mind. But why didn't she mention the kiss. She was very good at hiding things he discovered. Well, just as he thought before, if she wasn't going to mention it neither was he. "Is that all you remember?"

"I think so. I wonder how I got back to my rooms though. I know I didn't walk there because I was stuck, so someone had to have helped me…" She looked up at him and he felt that rock slide back into his stomach. "Wouldn't they?" She looked completely confused and lost in her thoughts.

He didn't know if he should tell her the truth and say he found her sleeping on the steps or if he should pretend he hadn't a clue. He was saved the trouble of answering because the door opened and students began to file in. He walked back behind the desk and waited for the entire class to settle down. He didn't really need to wait because the moment they saw him standing they automatically shut their mouths.

Through out the class period Snape kept glancing over at Seda. She was busy with her potion the entire class so he didn't have to talk to her unless she asked for help. Fortunately she knew what she was doing and never once asked for help. She managed to brew her shrinking potion with ease so she seemed relaxed.

When all the students had packed away their things he dismissed them. Seda stayed behind. She walked up to the desk he was sitting at and hesitantly placed her hands down on it in front of her, and him. "Professor" She spoke very quietly.

"What is it Miss Wood." He was recording grades in his record books.

"Would you happen to know why… why I've been having these dreams?" She asked timidly. Her hands gripped the table as if she was frightened.

He set his quill down and put a finger to his temple. He thought then replied. "It could be that since you are in new territory your subconscious feelings may be lingering where you once were and therefore have not yet accepted the new adjustment. Or it could just be a simple nightmare."

"I don't have nightmares, I've told you that already." Snape raised an eyebrow. "Besides, this isn't like a nightmare, it's… real." She lowered her brows at him, trying to make him understand.

"Miss Wood, surely you are not that ignorant to notice that if that dream were real you would not be standing here in the flesh before me. You said yourself that you died and clearly you would not still be walking around." His words shot through her and bounced off the walls.

She growled at him. "You are not a cat are you? You said you were allergic to them." He smirked.

"Ahh… you know what I meant." She narrowed her eyes and they began to flash again.

"I do not understand cats nor do I understand that you are still here if you believe yourself to be dead."

She put her hands on her hips and her nose scrunched at him. "I didn't mean physically dead, I meant subconsciously and I am not a cat!"

"Than stop pouncing at me like one you silly girl." He was showing signs of amusement.

"First of all, professor, I asked you a question and then you were the one who suggested I was a cat so therefore this is the result of your words, not mine." She put her hands on the table and leaned forward. "Obviously if I was the ignorant one here I would be assuming the identity of a cat but you seem to be doing that instead." Her eyes flashed at him in very close resemblance to the way his did when he lost his patience.

Snape raised his eyebrows. No student had ever before talked back at him like that with such slick remarks. He was actually impressed that she didn't run away like everyone else did. He didn't know how to answer. He just watched as she stood there glaring at him. "You're impossible" She huffed out under her breath and then turned to pick up her cauldron.

She grabbed her things and stormed off down the classroom. As she got nearer to the door she shouted with her back to him. "And don't call me a silly girl! You are the only one who is acting silly!" She opened the door and slammed it shut behind her.

Snape stood and watched the door slam shut. He was thoroughly amazed at her courage to stand up to him. He couldn't believe it. That was a first in history for Severus Snape to let a student yell back at him without punishment. He was in too much of a shock to go after her and dock points so he thought he would plan his revenge when he was alone with her next… private potions session. A mischievous smirk came across his face as he walked into his office. He would get her back and she would beg for mercy.

Luckily the only lesson she had left that day was private lessons with Lupin. She had this lesson just before dinner and then she would be free for the rest of the night, except for homework. Her first day and she already had homework, typical.

At four o'clock Seda went to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, still slightly steamed about her discussion with Snape, but at least she could let it blow off here. She entered the room and walked around examining the various tanks of beasts and creatures. Lupin came in shortly after and came up just behind her causing her to jump.

"Oh, sorry professor, I didn't hear you come in."

"That's all right. Now, I thought we would start off by learning a charm that would probably benefit you, considering what Severus told me."

Seda looked curious. "What did he tell you professor?" She would kill Snape if he had mentioned the dream to anyone.

"He informed me that a boggart was dwelling in your wardrobe so I thought it best for you to learn how to rid of them. I trust by now you realize what they are."

"Oh. Um, yes. They take the form of the persons worst fear."

"Correct. Now the incantation is quite simple; Riddikulus." He said firmly.

"Riddikulus?" She eyed him suspiciously.

"Yes, good. Now, to actually be rid of the boggart you must force it to become something amusing. Can you think of something that would be amusing?"

Seda thought. What could possibly be amusing after seeing her mother dead? She shivered at the thought. What would be amusing about it? "I can't really think of something amusing after seeing my mother dead" She looked away.

"But you must remember that it is only a boggart, it's not real. What could it do to make you forget about it being your dead mother and be something else? That is what you must force it to become."

Seda closed her eyes. What could she think of… think? She did remember once when she was young a time that they were baking together and Seda dropped an egg on the floor. Her mother slipped on it and fell to the ground with the batter splattered all over her. She could remember it like it was yesterday; it still made her laugh to this day.

"I've got it. Now what?" She looked ready to go on command.

"When I open this closet over here I want you to think of that thought and concentrate very hard then point your wand at the boggart and say 'Riddikulus'. When you are ready just step over here.

Seda moved over in front of the closet and braced herself. She pointed her wand out in front of her then nodded at Lupin. "Ok"

He pulled open the door and a body of a woman came falling to the ground. Her eyes were wide and lifeless and Seda couldn't look away. She was lowering her wand to look at her dead mother but she remembered she had to think. She forced that thought into her mind then yelled 'Riddikulus' and a loud snapping noise whipped through the air and it was gone.

She looked around in amazement then over at Lupin. She did it. She really did it. "Excellent work Seda. You actually managed to vanish it completely. You must have been thinking very hard, good concentration you have."

She smiled at him and she was really beaming on the inside. She wondered if people annoyed her if she could make them vanish too. She wished.

"Well, I thought we could have practiced some more but now that you have gotten rid of it for good we have nothing to practice with. Let's move on to something else then." He smiled at her then walked over to one the tanks.

For the next hour Lupin was explaining the various creatures in the tanks and how to distinguish them from ordinary things. She found it brilliant and she wished she could have spent another hour learning about new dark creatures and how to fend off dark magic. It was absolutely fascinating.

They left the room together and talked all the way down to the Great Hall. On the way she remembered something she had always wanted to ask him but she never did.

"Professor, if you don't mind, but Professor Snape was brewing a potion for you one day and he said that you needed it once a month. He didn't tell me why, he said it was up to you to tell me. Are you ill?" She looked concerned.

Lupin looked like he was thinking but then he turned his head as they walked into the hall. "Professor Snape brews me a highly difficult and advanced potion of his own discovering which is used to treat me. I can never be cured fully but it makes the worst times of the month become less dangerous for me."

"I see." She thought she shouldn't ask anymore.

On Friday afternoon Seda walked up to the castle after her Care of Magical Creatures class. Hagrid showed them Unicorns that day and she was completely in awe of them. She had always imagined them in fairytales when she was young but to actually see one... to touch one was amazing. It was absolutely gorgeous and so gentle.

After lunch she went to her rooms to start on an essay for Engorging Potions, from none other then Snape of course. He was exactly the same as he was at the university, tons of homework and little time to do it. Oh well, it was for the best. She had her private potions session tonight with him. She hadn't been in his dungeons since Wednesday when they argued. She was surprised he didn't punish her for it either. He seemed to enjoy punishing people. She had seen it already in his class. He picked on the weaker ones and never said a word to those who were doing well.

At six o'clock she left for the dungeons. She stepped up to his office and knocked. "Enter." Said a low voice and she entered. Snape was sitting in his chair reading a book and he didn't look up until she stood at his desk. "Sit" He commanded and she sat. He loved how effortlessly he could order her around when she wasn't being irrational.

Severus thought to himself for a moment. He hadn't really planned much for his revenge but he knew it would come along at some point. A brilliant idea never failed to find him, especially when he was feeling particularly sly. He had thought about making her scrub out exploded cauldron bottoms but that would be too obvious. She was here to learn not to be in detention. An evil smile spread across his mind. He would most definitely teach her a lesson and she was never going to forget it. A few more ideas came to mind but they were interrupted when she spoke.

"Professor, are we going to start anytime soon? I do have that essay to finish for you and you want me to do well don't you?" She smirked this time.

So, she was already picking her battle, very good he thought. This was going to be a war she wasn't going to win. He stood up and walked over to his cauldron. He had to act normal or she would suspect him of curious behavior. She followed him over to the cauldron. At least he didn't need voice commands to gain obedience.

"I would like you to brew this potion for me. You have an hour and a half." The idea came to him suddenly. He would make her struggle then she wouldn't be so hot headed.

"What potion sir?" She looked a bit surprised at that was all she had to do.

He looked down at her and handed her a book open already to a certain page. When she looked down he was almost thrilled with her reaction, it was just as he had planned.

"Tha Draught of Peace?" She looked scandalized and she spoke in a breathless voice. "But sir, this is sixth year level potions. You don't really expect me to do this do you?" She almost laughed; this had to be a joke… didn't it?

"You will do what you are told. The instructions are in the book and you can find the ingredients in the cupboard." He walked back to his desk and sat down.

Seda turned with the book in her hands and her mouth half open. She couldn't believe this. This was so unfair and impossible. She would never manage to do this complicated of a potion. "Professor?" She said in a disbelieving voice.

"Miss Wood, if you can not do what is asked of you or you refuse then you are free to go." He was looking down at his book but raised a hand at the door and it opened.

Seda grunted at him and then turned on her heel. She dropped the book on the table and then walked over to the cupboard and started pulling out ingredients. She returned briskly over to the table and started measuring and preparing. She was going to do it no matter how she felt. She wasn't going to play into his hands and give up. Even if it turned out completely wrong at least she tried her best. She was going to prove to him that no matter what he was going to throw at her she was going to hit it back to him. And with that stuck in her mind she set to work.

Severus watched her as she angrily set to work. He knew what she was thinking right now and it couldn't be more perfect. Soon enough she was going to plead for help and he was just going to let her pain her way thru it. Maybe after this lesson she would think twice before she snapped back at him. Then he would really give her something to remember.

Through out the process Seda consulted the book over and over again to make sure she did everything exactly as it was written. It was all so very complicated and confusing and she felt overwhelmed at points but she looked over at him sitting there and the frustration turned into motivation. She never asked him for help. She was going to do it on her own and then she would see what he had to say about that.

Severus glanced up at her occasionally. Watching for signs of weakness and struggle. Surely some time she was going to crack under the pressure. A few times she looked as if she wanted to drown herself in the cauldron but she pushed on. He was a bit disappointed that she hadn't asked for his help yet but he was curious as to how she was managing.

After an hour and fifteen minutes he finally stood and walked behind her. She was just stirring in the last of the ingredients and if she hadn't done a step correctly the potion would not turn misty silver, as it should. He stood behind her looking over her shoulder. Perhaps his presence would make her nervous and she might lose concentration.

She was just about to add a few last drops of an ingredient when she felt him staring behind her. She hated it when people stood over her shoulder, especially when they were much taller and nosing around. She reread the last line twice to make sure she understood it and she was just going to add the ingredient when she could feel his breath on her neck. Shivers sprang up all over her body and she lost her head slightly. It was so warm and calming that she almost forgot what she was doing. His scent was drifting to her nose and it made her dizzy. Goosebumps were running all down her back and arms but it felt so nice. She closed her eyes for a moment then she shook her head. What was she doing? She was close to finishing and she almost spoiled it.

She added the last drop and then waited like she was supposed to. She lowered the flame to a simmer. She could still feel him behind her but she wasn't going to move out of the way. She was going to stand there and finish. After a minute a misty vapor was swirling around and when she consulted the book for about the hundredth time she gasped. She had done it… right. It says there should be a silver vapor and there was!

Severus watched as the vapor rose out of the cauldron. He couldn't believe it. Not only had his plan failed but also she brewed a successful O.W.L level potion. It was remarkable. He would have never thought she would be able to do it, at least not now. He was so stunned he didn't know what to say. He just stood and looked amazed, though on the inside. When she turned to look up at him he quickly put on an expressionless gaze.

Seda grinned and when she turned around to look up at him she couldn't stop. "Did I brew it correctly professor?" She said innocently and she didn't need to hear his answer. He began to look slightly furious and she suddenly felt nervous. Was she not supposed to be happy with herself? She bit her lip and continued to stare at him.

Snape merely stood there looking down at her not able to speak. What was he to say; I wanted you to brew a far to difficult potion so I could watch you suffer but you succeeded? He would sound like a fool. She seemed very happy with herself, and she should be, but now he didn't know what to think. She was standing there looking nervous now and biting her lip as she always did when she became unsure of herself. Those eyes… they were looking right at him. They were deep blue with specks of orange and gold, just floating in the air, stealing his breath.

Seda lost her confidence and her smile so she looked away. Obviously he didn't want to admit that she had done it right. She turned around and started packing away the ingredients then she closed the book with a dull thud as she pushed the cover over with delicate fingers. She stood with her back to him and she breathed with her eyes closed. She returned the ingredients to the cupboard and then she went to pick up her bag and intended to leave with out saying good-bye.

Severus watched her put away all the items and as she was heading for the door he walked over in front of her, blocking the door. He looked down at her with a serious look and in a cold voice he said, "Nicely done, Miss Wood."

Seda looked at him with many faces as if she couldn't decide on which one to use. "Nicely done?" She chose a look of contemplation. "Is that all? I see that is all you have to say so I'll just be leaving. Thanks for the lesson." She raised her eyebrows at him and tried to walk around him.

"I didn't dismiss you Miss Wood." He stood there still with no expression on his face.

She stopped in place when she was just at his side. She looked up to the heavens asking for help then she moved a strand of hair out of her eyes. "Now what?" She forced a voice of calm even though she was irritated. She moved back to stand in front of him "Would you like me to brew you another complicated potion, sir?" She pouted her lips.

Snape crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows at her.

"What is it? If you have nothing to say can I just go? Clearly you don't want to do anything but give me questioning looks like I'm a thief so can I please escape the glares now?" Her nose was beginning to scrunch up, as it did when she was losing patience and becoming annoyed.

"Miss Wood…" He started to say softly.

"Are you actually going to say something to me then rather then glare?" She forced her hands to her hips. Why was he always so complicated?

Snape's eyes began to flash. She really was a little pest sometimes but yet she seemed so mature and brilliant at times, what happened? "I was just going to tell you that you didn't put your potion into flagons for storage and that is why you are not dismissed." He shifted his shoulders and lowered his head to get a better look at her.

She stared at him dumbfounded. "Is that all? Why didn't you just say so then? Good Grief." She turned around and headed back for the cauldron. She dropped her bag off her shoulder and onto the floor then she looked back at him. "Wait a moment… do you mean… is this potion acceptable then?" Now she looked cheerful.

Snape stepped forward and pulled out his wand. He made several flagons come floating towards them and rest on the table. He walked over to her side and opened one. He held it out to her and she took it. He then began to ladle the potion into the bottles as she held them for him.

A small smile lingered on her face as she watched him put the potion into the glass bottles she held. She kept her chin down but she looked up at him underneath her lashes. Every so often she caught his eye but she felt her cheeks flush so she looked away but only to glance back at him out of the corner of her eye. She grinned on the inside.


	19. The Sleep Aid

A lot of people are asking me about Seda's dreams and what it means, and I hate to be the party pooper but I can't tell you what they mean. It would ruin the story and then there would be almost no reason for me to continue writing. So, I know it's a bummer but you are just going to have to wait and find out as you read. I really am sorry but you'll understand why later. Ok, well let's not waste valuable time here, let me start writing this chapter or I'll never finish, HaHa. That would be truly awful wouldn't it? Just to leave you all hanging with no conclusion. Don't worry, I won't. Oh, and I won't be able to get a lot of writing time in this weekend because I have obligations unfortunately and they will take up most of the weekend. Well anyway, like I said, let's get to the chapter. Toodles!

As you can see, I've updated, finally. Friday and Saturday were truly exhausting so forgive me for taking so long to post the rest of this chapter, but at least it's up. Thanks for your patience. I appreciate it very much. All your encouragement helps me more then you know, so thanks to everyone!

The day was bright and there wasn't a cloud to be found. The sky was a perfect ocean blue and the breeze was becoming a bit cooler now that autumn was just around the corner. Birds were chasing each other as they flew around carelessly and the small children on the street imitated them. Their parents were frustratingly trying to restrain them but they managed to escape and wander off. Everything about the day was brilliant.

Seda entered The Three Broomsticks looking around for Hermione. She spotted her in the back close to where they sat before. Little Madison was already trying to stuff her hand in her glass of juice but her mother grabbed her arm and pulled it out. Seda crossed the room and sat down to a welcoming smile from Hermione. She had already taken the liberty of ordering drinks.

Hermione beamed at her. "So, how was it?" She had her hands on top of the other resting on the table and she leaned forward with eagerness.

"It was…" Seda looked up at the ceiling and thought. How was it? Hmm, how would she say it was? She looked back at Hermione and her smile faded. "Interesting." That is what she thought would describe it best.

Hermione let her smile fade half way and she looked a bit disappointed. "Interesting?" She asked curiously. "Didn't you like it? Did you learn anything new?"

"Oh, I loved it. The classes are great and so are the students and I learned tons but… it was exhausting. I have loads of homework to do already. Typical actually." She smirked.

Hermione's smile lifted back up to better spirits. "Well that's good. The work is rather overwhelming but it's worth it. Hogwarts is wonderful and you'll grow to become attached to it. Once you are part of it you never really leave. It's like part of you stays behind." Madison was attempting to pour the glass of juice on top of her head but Hermione stopped her just in time.

"I believe you. I already feel at home there."

"So, what did you learn?" Hermione looked back at her.

"Hmm where to start. Well, I've learned three new charms, I transfigured a needle, a pencil, a stick and a log, I met a unicorn, learned how to rid a boggart and I brewed the Draught of Peace." She tried to say it in one breath but she barely made it.

"Oh, that's really - The Draught of Peace!" Hermione looked shocked. "How did you ever manage to do that, already?" She looked as if her eyes were going to pop out.

"Believe me, I had almost the same reaction." She took a drink of her butterbeer.

"But, how… why?" She still looked like her eyes were going to pop out. Madison was amused with her mother's expression and she began to laugh.

Seda put her bottle down and folded her arms on top of the table. "Well, I have private lessons with the teachers and I had a session with Professor Snape last night. I suppose he thought it would be amusing to make me struggle but I proved him wrong. He approved of it and I was hardly in a better state then you. I didn't believe I had actually done it. I still can't really." She didn't seem too impressed with her self.

"That's incredible Seda, but that was so dangerous. I can't believe he would actually make you do that, this early. That is an O.W.L level potion. What if something had gone wrong and you were hurt, he should have had you do something else. What was he thinking? Snape's always been a bit strict and demanding but that was just… foolish."

Hermione looked like she was ready to attack someone. "Honestly, it's fine. Anyway, I don't think he likes me that much anyway so that's probably why he did it. Maybe he was hoping I would fail, I don't know." She shrugged.

Hermione looked back at her a bit calmer now. "Did he help you at least?"

"Yes, only when he was ladling the potion into flagons. Other then that I did everything on my own while he sat in his chair reading or looked over my shoulder."

"Are you sure you aren't supposed to be in Ravenclaw? Seriously, you have some brains." Hermione smiled at her in amazement.

"Yes, well I was considered for it, like I was for Slytherin but it was Gryffindor. But it's not really a matter of having a lot of intelligence when it comes to potions. I mean it does but it's really simple if you can read and do exactly as it says. Good thing I like to read then." She laughed slightly and Hermione joined her. Madison thought she was supposed to laugh to so she laughed louder then both of them and then they too laughed again.

Hermione and Seda talked for over an hour, just as they did last time. Seda really enjoyed her company. As she found out they were very much alike. Hermione told her that when she was in Hogwarts she was a know-it-all and a bookworm and that Snape was always picking on her for having brains. Seda could definitely see how he does that to a person. She witnessed it quite often but she ignored it or she simply yelled at him. As frustrating as he was she still appreciated him and respected him. She looked up to him for his intelligence but he was impossible at times. Oh well, you can't win them all.

When Seda was down to her last drop of butterbeer she thought it best to order another one. That drink could really become addicting. "The thing I don't understand is why does he always have to make me feel dumb whenever I do something right? I can't talk to him about anything without him indicating I'm being silly."

"Believe me, he's always been that way and he will never change but…" Hermione looked over at Madison and smiled at her. She was falling asleep. "He's not always what he seems. There is more to him then just favoring his Slytherins and putting down the Gryffindors. Like I said before, the more you know him the better he becomes, or I just got used to it." Hermione grinned.

"Well, it's not that I hate him he just makes me so… crazy. For instance, I've been having these strange dreams and I asked him about it and all he said to me was that I was being ignorant because I thought I died and I was standing in the flesh before him. He doesn't really help much does he?" She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms.

"What dreams? Are they nightmares?" Hermione became a bit more attentive.

"No, I don't think it's a nightmare, it feels too real. I've never had reoccurring dreams before though, it's so odd."

"What happens?"

Seda then told her about the dreams she has been having and how she felt like she was drowning when she woke up and her heart ached. "And every time I die then I wake up feeling nauseous. I can't look at food and I always feel weird. This has never happened to me, ever." Seda could almost relive the dream as she told her about it.

"Well, if you feel that it's really real then it's probably not a nightmare, it could be a night terror but that is even more rare in adults. Usually children have them at a young age but they grow out of it. And you've told Snape about this?"

"Yes, unfortunately. He gave me a potion once so I wasn't as sick and tense but it didn't stop the dreams. I just wish they would stop but I wish I knew what they meant."

Hermione looked like she was searching her brain and then she stopped when she found something of interest. "I've had an idea. If you let me talk to Snape I might be able to work out some kind of Sleep Aid for you. I've researched them before but I'm not thoroughly sure how they work. I'm positive he knows all about them."

"Oh, you don't have to do that, really it's fine. What's a Sleep Aid? Medicine or something." She looked a bit confused but eager to hear about it.

"It's a potion that will put you into a heavy sleep to be awoken after you can tell us what has happened in your dream as you are having it. We would be able to study the effects it has on you during the process and determine what may be causing it. It's very simple, all you have to do is sleep." She smiled at Seda who now looked as if she was having second thoughts about doing it.

"That would be interesting but I don't know. Does it really work?"

"Yes, it is used quite often at St. Mungos for, well never mind. I think I should talk to Snape about it. Would you like to join me in visiting my ex Potions Professor?" She was already standing up and taking Madison out of her booster seat.

Seda didn't really have a choice so she followed her out of the pub and up to the castle.

Severus sat at his desk going over essays to be graded for his N.E.W.T students. He was just taking out his quill to mark incorrect terms on the parchment and scribble down grades when a knock came at his door. "Enter," He said not even caring who it was.

Severus kept his head down as the unknown presence stepped into the room. "Hello professor." This wasn't Seda's voice. He looked up and saw Hermione standing with her daughter at her side and Seda just behind them.

He put his quill down and looked from both of them. "Miss Granger… I'm sorry, Mrs. Weasley, surely you are not requesting to study my class again." He smirked.

"Not that it would be the most pleasurable but no, I wanted to discuss something with you." She smirked back at him. Now that he wasn't really her teacher anymore it was easier to talk back at him.

Severus looked over at Seda who was trying hard not to interrupt. He looked back at Hermione. "I see, and what is it you want to discuss?" He folded his hands on the desk.

"I wanted to discuss Seda…" He lowered his eyebrows. "And the dreams she's been having." He inclined his head slightly encouraging her to go on. Rarely had he ever done that to her. When she was a student she would take any opportunity to speak her mind.

Hermione glanced back at Seda who smiled at her. She fixed her eyes on Snape and spoke seriously. "I don't think those are simple nightmares she's having and I know of a Sleep Aid that we could experiment on with her. It should be a simple process but I don't believe I know as much about it as you do."

Severus put one of his fingers to his temple. "And when you say 'we' I suppose you want me to be involved."

"Well, yes. Considering that you are the Potions Master it should be rather obvious that you would be involved." She raised her chin at him.

"Ah. I see. Well, since you seem to be brewing up your own theories maybe it would be best for you to take command and leave me out."

Seda stepped forward and spoke this time. "Please professor, even if you only help us to get started we could finish it on our own. You don't have to become involved, well too much. I think Hermione is right, these are not normal dreams."

"Miss Wood, a Sleep Aid is highly complicated and the two of you could not possibly manage it on your own, especially since one of you will be the source of experimentation. It involves a heavy amount of analyzing and it could be costly to your health."

"Ok, well if it's that complicated then can you help?" Seda spoke back. It was almost a rhetorical question and she smiled in a mischievous way.

Severus leaned back in his chair. He wasn't really going to have a choice here and he knew it. Not only did he have Seda to stand up to, he now had a more ferocious, motherly Hermione to stand in his way now too. She didn't seem quite so hesitant to talk to him anymore, it was probably because she grew up and he wasn't her teacher anymore.

Severus looked at both of them and they stared back at him, with determined faces. He was actually somewhat impressed by their eagerness to ask for his guidance but he didn't really have the time to be fooling around with silly dreams. Even though he knew they weren't really just simple dreams he hadn't planned to make a formal occasion out of it.

He was just going to speak when he felt a slight pressure coming from his leg. He looked down and saw Hermione's daughter poking him. He lowered his eyebrows and then he looked up at Hermione. "One of your precious possessions is attempting to crawl on my leg. Would you like it back?" He narrowed his eyes but he didn't seem angry.

Hermione looked over the desk and saw Madison at his leg. "Oh, sorry." She ran around the desk and picked her up. She looked down at him. "So, are you going to help or not. Because if you aren't then I would like to start researching right away instead of standing here trying to convince you." She narrowed her eyes this time.

Again, Severus looked at both of them. They looked even more determined now. He already knew what he was getting himself involved with; research with not only one Gryffindor but also two of them. What was he becoming? He closed his eyes for a second then spoke quietly. "Would you two care to have a seat and then we can go over a few things." Oh, he was going to hate himself for this. It was going to be a nightmare.

Seda and Hermione looked at each other and smiled. They both took a seat and seemed a bit more relaxed now that they had lured him in. Convincing Snape to do this was easier then they thought it would be. Normally he didn't change his standards for anyone or anything. What made him do it?

Severus was still sitting back in his chair and he spoke as if this were the most boring thing in the world but strictly in teacherly tones. "Now, you both must understand that this is not the simplest of projects. We will need to research the potion as well as the reverse potion and then we must do critical analyzing on the sleeper. If we let you fall into too much of a deep sleep it can be irreversible. And, so you know, the dreams may become more intense and realistic, but it's important for you to be able to subconsciously live through them or you will never be able to tell us what is happening and therefore the project will be pointless."

"Irreversible…" Seda looked at him with a frown. He looked into her eyes and mentally he was telling her it would be safe but she still doubted him, well not him, the process.

Hermione looked over at her and laid a hand on her knee. "Professor Snape won't let that happen Seda, you'll be fine if he's near." She looked over to Snape as if she was asking for his assurance.

Snape raised his chin slightly and spoke softly and soothingly almost. "No, Miss Wood, we will not let you fall into an irreversible sleep. I was pointing out that it could happen if we are not precise and extremely careful." A look of relief came over her face and Hermione smiled faintly at him.

"So, when would you like to start?" Hermione spoke out loud, getting Seda away from the subject that she may never wake if something went wrong.

They sat there for a while discussing the plans for the Sleep Aid. They were each responsible for certain crucial tasks to be done and then they would begin their experiment when they were finished looking over all possible factors and incidents.

The next week at Hogwarts was more exhausting then the first three days. She was getting more homework, studying with teachers privately and doing research for her dream experiment. Every extra second she had after doing homework and studying she would commit herself to diving into books and retrieving information. Severus, on the other hand, seemed quite cool about it, unlike Seda who was a wreck.

A week after Hermione and Seda had trapped Severus into helping them they met again in his office. They were going to lie out all the plans and procedures then start brewing their potions. They had all the information they could possibly need, probably more, so they felt it was safe to start.

Seda waited for Hermione in the Entrance Hall and at five o'clock she came strolling through the doors. Madison was staying with Ron so she wouldn't get in the way. They descended the steps into the dungeons and approached Snape's office door. Just before they knocked Seda turned to Hermione.

"This is going to work isn't it? I mean…" She looked a bit nervous. "Nothing's really going to happen to me right?" There was pleading in her eyes.

Hermione smiled warmly at her. "You want to figure out what these dreams mean don't you? This is the only way to truly understand them. I've told you, Snape knows what he is doing. He won't let anything happen to you. You have to trust me… trust him."

All Seda could do was smile back, but weakly. "I'm ready to do it and I'm willing, it's just the dreams I'm worried about. They are so intense already. I don't think they…"

She was cut off when the door opened.

"I thought we were to be going over the plans in my office, not outside the door." His voice drifted through the air. He looked down at them with a quizzical expression.

With one last look at each other the two girls stepped inside the office and he closed the door. They took their seats in front of his desk and he walked behind it but remained to stand. He looked even taller from this view, he towered over them already but now he was a giant almost.

Seda was looking at the ground as Snape began to speak. "Now that we have all our research we should record the most crucial factors in this experiment." He looked at Hermione. "You should start preparing the notes and I will brew the potion with Miss Wood." Seda looked up. "Yes Miss Wood, you are going to help with the potion."

She looked like she was being asked to brew the Draught of Peace again. Snape went over to his cauldron where all the ingredients were laid out already. Seda came up next to him and rested her hands on the table. She looked up at him to say something but then she turned her head back to her hands.

"I don't think I can make this professor." She gazed over at all the items and it looked complicated. Besides, she had only made a few since she has been here.

"You are perfectly capable, but I will make the majority of it, you will only need to assist me at certain stages." He said this very calmly as he added the first ingredient.

Seda nodded and turned her head to see Hermione sitting at his desk writing out notes and charts. There were several books spread out before her and she was looking at them all. She turned back to watch Snape add a few more ingredients and then he stirred. She didn't know what to do so she simply stood there, quietly. Her fingers began to tap.

Severus looked down at her hands and she noticed him watching so she ceased the drumming. Again, it was much easier for him to get obedience with out verbal communication. A green liquid was swirling in the cauldron and then he spoke.

"Miss Wood, place just a drop of the Asphodel Essence into the cauldron." She looked over for it and spotted it. She picked it up and took off the cap. Her hand rose over the potion and she tilted it slightly to add a drop. She was nervous so she was shaking slightly. One drop fell out and dripped into the mixture. Her hand lingered for a moment and she seemed to have forgotten it was still over it. Another drop was starting to form and Severus quickly grabbed her hand to stop her from adding it.

She gasped slightly as she looked up at him. "Just one drop will do Miss Wood. Two may put you out for a month." His hand was still on hers and her arm had a jet of tingles shimmy their way up then down her back. She looked away from him and then he took his hand off.

After she recapped the vial he stirred once more and it turned a deep purple. A soft smoke was issuing from the rim. The scent it was giving off was similar to that smell of hot chocolate just before bed on a rainy night. It was very soothing.

There was not much for Seda to do at the moment so she walked over to Hermione who was still making up a chart. She looked down at the notes and she was surprised to see so many. "That's quite a bit of notes. Do we really need all these? What are they for?"

Hermione was still scribbling as she spoke. "Well there are sets of notes for each stage of the project, and there are several stages. We also have to keep a journal of your sleep patterns and dream intervals and this chart will show links to any suspicions we may have. The dreaming state of your mind is the most complicated and it takes several steps to analyze it correctly. It can also become very tricky so that is why I'm taking down extra notes to help smooth out the process. We don't want anything to go wrong."

"So…" She was becoming a little flustered. "This sounds as if this will take more then one dream to determine what they are. Do I have to do this more then once?" Her mouth was open slightly and her eyes alert.

Hermione looked up slowly as she rested the end of the quill against her cheek. "Well… yes." She said slowly as if she thought Seda already knew that. "Didn't you know?"

Seda's eyes widened. "No. You never said I had to do this more then once." She was looking at Snape.

Severus sensed she was looking at him. "This is far too complicated to study in just one dream. Surely even you would have assumed that." He was adding some type of powder.

"So how often do I have to live through these dreams?" She looked frantic.

"As many times as it takes until we can come to a proper settlement and conclusion to our theories. It could be once or it could be a hundred, it all depends on the matter of your mental health through out the experiment."

She looked over at Hermione again. "My mental health?" She couldn't believe what she was hearing. They never told her she had to do this more then once and it sounded as if it were becoming more dangerous.

"Only if we are not watching over you carefully will anything go wrong Seda. You don't have to worry. You will be fine, I promise." She tried smiling at her but she knew it wouldn't make Seda any less scared.

Seda breathed heavily through her nose and then she walked over to the window. She rested her arms on the sill and she looked out into the evening as the darkness crept upon it. The trees were not swaying as gently as they did in the soft summer breeze but they were twitchier in the cool fall wind. Clouds were scattered through out the deepening blue sky and the stars tried to shine through the patches of white. This mesmerized her for a while until Hermione came to her side.

"Nothing is going to happen to you Seda, honestly. We just have to take the precaution, that's all. All this preparation will make the project go over smoothly and quickly… hopefully." She was also looking out into the night.

Seda leaned on her arms and sighed. "I'm not worried what will happen, I trust you. The only thing I'm worried about is those dreams. They are so real Hermione, you don't understand." She turned her chin to look at her. "I don't know how much more intense the dreams can become and if they do I don't know if I can bare it. I feel so… alone and empty after. It's an aching in my heart." Seda's eyes were full of emotion as she stared at Hermione. She needed to make her understand how horrible and realistic they are.

Hermione didn't really know what to say to this so she looked back out into the sky. "Well, if they do become too much we can cease the experiment, or at least hold off until you can regain your strength." She smiled at her now. "It will work out."

Seda kept her gaze content among the majestic mountains and didn't answer back. She didn't want to think about how much more the dreams were going to cause her to become sick anymore. Hermione left her side and she stood there until she heard Snape's low voice some minutes later.

"The potions are complete. It must mature now for at least an hour. By the time we are back from dinner it should be ready and then we can begin."

Seda continued to stand at the window. She wasn't feeling particularly hungry anymore. She heard Hermione's voice coming from near the door. "Are you coming Seda?"

She didn't answer and then she heard the door close. Good, now she could have a moment to herself, without either of them around, staring at her. She leaned forward into the windowsill and rested her forehead on the glass. It was cool and it felt relaxing. She took a deep breath and when she exhaled the heat from her breath fogged up the window. She remembered when she was young she would do this on the car window and then draw until the fog vanished.

She raised one of her fingers and started to make little circles on the window. At least this was keeping her mind off the dreams, for now.

"Not hungry Miss Wood." Came Snape's deep, silky voice. She hadn't realized he was still there so she jumped and her hand slipped off the window and her head collided with the glass. A very loud, dull bang came from the glass, "ow" and she raised her hand to her forehead. She took a sharp intake of breath and her head was tingling now.

She turned around with her hand pressing against her head and looked up at him, with pain in her eyes. She lowered her hand and when she looked down a few drops of blood were sitting on her fingers. Snape's eyes widened slightly. "You're cut."

He walked up to her and tried to examine her head but she put her hand up to the cut. "I'm fine, it's just a bump." He gave her a stern look and said "nonsense" He then removed her hand from her forehead and he touched her with a few of his fingers. She winced when he touched it and then he applied a bit more pressure.

His face was just over hers as he was looking at the small cut. His hands were surprisingly warm; she thought they might be cold. As he pressed firmly against it the tingling pain began to dull away. All she could feel was the warmth of his hands pressed against her head and she closed her eyes because it felt rather relaxing. It reminded her of the way her mother would rub her head when she was ill, but this was somewhat different, yet nice.

Seda kept her eyes closed, she didn't want him to move his hands, but she was startled when she felt the tip of his wand placed against the wound. He muttered words and then she felt a pinching on her skin.

"Healed" He said, his face was still very close to hers. She opened her eyes and saw him examining her head one last time. She put her fingers to where the cut was and it was normal once again. No more blood. "Thanks" She said into his eyes and they stared at each other for a moment until she moved her eyes away from his.

He stood up straighter and looked down at her. "Do you still not wish to eat?"

"I don't really have much of an appetite professor. I'm…" She sighed.

"It's because you are nervous about having those dreams. Are you worried something may go wrong Miss Wood" He was still staring at her and his voice was demanding.

"Yes, I am worried about the dreams, but I'm not worried anything will happen, I trust you professor." She was speaking very quietly. "I just don't, never mind." She started to walk to the doors. Severus followed her.

"You don't what?" He sounded very serious.

She stopped with her hand on the handle and breathed heavily. "I'm scared alright. I admit it; I'm absolutely terrified of what will happen if I don't wake up. I really don't want to be stuck in that dream forever, but I want to figure out what it means."

She let her head drop and she stared at the floor. She didn't want to admit her weakness but she couldn't help but feel scared. Severus walked up to her side. "I won't let that happen, I give you my word." He sounded completely sincere and when she looked up she saw that he was being serious.

She smiled faintly at him and then they continued out of the office and up the stairs. Maybe she should try to eat dinner… and she did, now that she felt more trusting. She couldn't express her gratitude towards him that for once he wasn't treating her as if she were being ridiculous. It sounded like he actually cared… somewhat. And she was happy.


	20. Lost in a Dream

Thanks for the patience everyone, like I said it was a busy weekend. Anyway, I'm back and ready to write. This next chapter should be rather fun I think. Well, let's hope I don't have any problems uploading because ever since the weather we've been having the Internet has been a nightmare. I was just going to upload the last chapter and the power goes out, typical I know. I was very upset. Now my computer is going to be slow and the changes I make are going to take forever to be put into effect. Oh well, what can you do. Ok, let's get into this dream project. I'm just as eager as all of you. Toodles!

Dinner went by faster then usual. Probably because she was hoping it would last longer. Everyone was pleased to see Hermione, especially McGonagall. They asked her about Ron and if she was ever going to bring in her daughter so they could see how big she has gotten. They didn't say anything about The Sleep Aid project they were working on because Seda didn't want anyone to know. Except for Dumbledore of course. Severus had talked to him earlier in the week to have his approval and he gladly encouraged it. Severus welcomed him to step in and over see the progress when he liked and he said he was sure they could handle it, but he might stop by anyway.

The three of them headed back down to the dungeons after a long dinner. Seda was feeling less nervous as before but the fear was still in the back of her mind. The cauldron was sitting on a simmer and the first potion was ready to be taken. Severus had the reversal potion already made if anything should go wrong, but it shouldn't.

Severus had ladled a goblet full of potion for Seda and brought it over to the desk. Hermione was collecting her journal and a quill and preparing to start. Seda was standing by the desk waiting. Then they all looked at each other then Severus and Hermione looked at Seda.

Seda looked back at both of them. "So… now what? Am I supposed to sit or…" She trailed off. She really had no idea what she was supposed to do.

"You should probably lie down. We don't know how long it will take for you to get to your dream. Sitting may be uncomfortable." Hermione glanced at Snape. He nodded.

Seda walked over to the small sofa in his office by the window. She sat on it and looked up at them. She felt kind of odd trying to fall a sleep in front of them but she took the goblet from Severus and then looked down at it. At least it didn't smell as badly as some of the others she had made, this one still had a soothing scent.

"When you are ready, drink all of it." Snape spoke softly.

She looked up at them one last time. "See you when I wake up I guess." And then she drank the entire goblet full in two gulps. The effect was almost immediate. Her eyelids began to fall and her breathing became very slow. The goblet fell out of her hands and she slumped sideways onto the sofa. She was completely out.

Severus and Hermione looked at each other. "That was fast." Hermione said. Severus raised his eyebrows. "Do you think we should leave her like that?" She nodded at Seda whose legs were dangled over the front and her upper body was leaning over awkwardly.

"Probably not." He answered. They both moved forward. Severus put her legs on the sofa and Hermione moved her head so her neck wasn't crooked. "Now we have to wait until she shows signs of distress. Then we can have her tell us what is happening." He spoke as he stood up straight. Hermione nodded.

They both went to sit down at his desk and wait. So far she was sleeping soundly and there were no signs that she had entered that particular dream. "We should write down how fast the potion effected her and probably keep track of intervals between each stage she enters." Hermione said as she opened her journal.

"You haven't changed much." He said as he looked at Seda passed out on the couch.

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "And what do you mean by that professor?"

"You were always writing down everything I ever said, even if I didn't tell you to."

"So. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be prepared. Besides, you picked on me so much if I didn't write down anything you said you would probably have sent me to detention… or hexed me."

Snape looked at her. "You know perfectly well that it would have been against school rules for me to have hexed you and I did not pick on you."

Hermione's mouth fell open in shock. He was definitely losing his memory. "Yes you did to pick on me. Or rather you ignored my work half the time. You either criticized me or glared at me. It never changed."

"Criticism was only to push you to be better and obviously if I didn't speak to you there was nothing to criticize." Did she always have to act so Gryffindorish?

"No, it's only because you hated me so much you never acknowledged my work, even though I got higher marks then anyone else in your class." She was chewing her tongue.

"Silly girl, I did not hate any of my students. You were simply a know-it-all and it was rather annoying."

"Ha. You hated almost everyone except for your precious Slytherins. And Harry was at the top of your list along with me."

"I do not favor my own House because they are my own House." That was the biggest lie she had ever heard. "And Mr. Potter was a different story then you. All though he was as arrogant and big headed as his father, and not to mention he was always getting into trouble, I did not hate him. He irritated me beyond belief that no matter how much protection we set up for him he always found a way to break through that barrier and it took him several years to finally realize we were trying to protect him. He surprised me on several accounts actually by his ability to stay alive after all the rules he broke and headed off into danger with out thinking. And I'm sure he was not alone in his actions." He raised his eyebrows at her.

She inclined her chin. "He thought you hated him you know, and that's why he did what he did, so he wouldn't get caught and then held back by you. You were always trailing after him, looking for some way to get him expelled."

"There you go again you silly girl. Talking about things you don't know. I was not trying to get Potter expelled. I kept an eye on him constantly because he was allowed to much freedom and if you remember he was on a wanted list by a certain dark wizard."

"Harry was perfectly capable of looking after himself. If _you_ remember, he had escaped that said dark wizard a marvel of six times and then defeated him. Therefore I don't think he needed someone on his tail constantly. You were always making us paranoid."

"My memory is as clear as it ever was and I am quite aware of Mr. Potters achievements. And making you paranoid was part of my job." He looked back at Seda.

"Well, you certainly did a good job at it." She blew a hair out of her eyes and then dropped her head to her notes. He will never change.

Severus smirked to himself. She was more vociferous now but she was still the same. He watched as Seda slept and her chest rose and fell in graceful intervals. The look on her face was innocent and unknowing of what may come. Her dark brown hair was fanned out on the pillow underneath her head and a single strand lie teasingly across her neck. The pink of her lips looked like that of a doll and they pouted softly.

This was the second time he had watched her sleep and both times he was amazed at how breathtaking she was. Simple elegance and radiant beauty were glowing from every inch of her body. But when she looked at him with those eyes it was like she was a different person, some unearthly, heavenly creature delicately sweeping him away. And she was so simple to get along with but so complicated at the same time. He didn't understand it.

He stared at her in a daze for several minutes until Hermione spoke. "Do you want anything to drink? It seems like it may be awhile." She had finally looked up from her notes and she turned to look at Seda, who was still sleeping peacefully.

"Fine" He answered in a tired voice. "Whatever you like." Hermione looked over at him then shrugged. She conjured a pot of hot tea and a tiny pitcher of fresh honey.

They sat there for nearly an hour drinking their tea and waiting for any sign of dreaming from Seda. They reviewed over several books and notes and discussed what could be happening to her right now until a sound came from across the room. They both turned and saw Dumbledore stepping out of the fireplace.

"I've just come to see how your young sleeping patient is holding. Everything is well I trust." He said in his soft misty voice.

"She's doing fine Headmaster. No sign of any distressed dreams yet."

"Good, good. How fast did the potion affect her?" He walked over to Seda and gently put a hand on her head.

Severus walked over. "Immediately. The second the potion entered her body she was out. A bit faster then I would have thought."

"Maybe so but the potion should take it's normal process." He looked down at her. "Have you any inkling about these dreams yet, Severus."

"I have theories Headmaster but nothing more then that. Until we can fully explore her dreaming mind it will be difficult to decipher what is causing it and of course what they mean." He glanced down at her.

Dumbledore kept his head down as she spoke. "You will know what they mean when time feels it is ready." He looked up at Severus and with his mistiest voice he spoke quietly, hardly a whisper. "No matter what happens, you must believe in her Severus. Losing faith will destroy her in the end." His eyes twinkled for a moment but they were serious this time. There was no mysteriousness in them at that moment.

Severus didn't understand what he meant. Dumbledore never missed an opportunity to be all knowing and smug at the same time. "Headmaster… it is just a dream. What do you think will happen?" Severus lowered his eyebrows in question.

Dumbledore lowered his chin and looked at him over his half moon glasses. "In time Severus… in time." And he looked down at Seda and patted her on the head once. He turned around and headed back for the fireplace. When he stepped inside he nodded at both of them and then vanished.

Severus stared at the empty fireplace for a moment, wondering what he could have meant and then he looked back over at Seda, still sleeping with out a dream. He headed back over to the desk and sat down. He glanced over at Hermione who was staring at the sleeper. "You think maybe she's dreaming already but not showing signs? She looked back over at Severus.

"No. I believe that when she enters that dream we will know. And if what she tells us is true it will be very realistic to her. With The Sleep Aid they will become much more intense, and she will feel like she is really living through it."

"Well, it's looks like we still have some waiting to do." She turned back to her notes and started reading. Severus continued to stare at the sleeping girl and he thought. 'Destroy her in the end'… what was that supposed to mean? Dumbledore was positively a nuisance sometimes. 'In time' ... In time what? He was impossible.

She was walking through clouds of white fog and smoke. She couldn't see anything around her, except white. No matter where she turned it was the same. There was no beginning and there was no end. She walked forever it seemed.

And then she came to a clearing. A lake was just before her and the water looked like glass. The sky was black and it reflected the water. Everything was still and silent. No sound except the wind that whispered in her ears as it floated past. Something was drawing her to the edge of the lake. She had the feeling that she needed to run somewhere, anywhere. It felt like someone had tied strings to her hands and legs and was dragging her like a puppet. She wanted to step into the water but she was afraid. She tried to step away but it kept pulling her closer. She was curious but she was too scared.

Hermione was looking through some books and Severus was looking over the journal Hermione started. They were growing tired but they had to wait. Hermione leaned back and stretched and then she gasped. "Professor, look." She was staring at Seda.

Severus whipped his head and saw that Seda was moving slightly. Tiny moans were escaping her mouth and she was moving her head. He stood up and walked over to her. He looked down and saw that her face was confused. "I think it's starting. Get your journal and write everything down."

Hermione grabbed her journal and started writing. She glanced over at her every few seconds to make sure she wasn't missing anything. Then she stood up and moved next to Severus. He started to speak to her softly. "Miss Wood… can you hear my voice?"

Hermione looked up at him. "Won't that wake her?" Seda moaned again.

"No. She can not wake until the dream is over or unless we give her the reversal potion." He looked back at Seda. "If you can hear me, tell us what is happening." They both stared at her, waiting for some kind of response.

The force from the lake was pulling her more. The wind was blowing harder and as it whipped past her she could hear a voice lingering in the air. It was saying her name. It was asking her something. She wanted to answer but she couldn't. The force of the lake was too powerful. She tried to get away but it was tugging at her now. And then she saw it. A black figure was floating in the middle of the water. It was calling her name distantly. She had to go near it she needed to touch it. She tried to answer back but when she spoke no sound came from her lips. Everything was muted except for the sound of the wind and the mysterious black figure softly humming her name. She reached for it.

They sat there waiting for her to say something or do anything but she didn't know what was happening to her. They looked at each other and then they heard a small cry next to them. They turned their heads and Seda was moving her mouth but they couldn't hear what she was saying. "What are you saying?" Hermione asked her.

She was trying to answer but her voice was too soft. They continued to watch her for several minutes and finally she spoke. "I see it." Her voice was very unlike her own. It was hollow and shaky.

"What do you see?" Severus asked her and Seda didn't answer. They waited again and slowly she began to raise her arm into the air. She was reaching for something.

It was calling her and she had to go near it. She stepped onto the water and she glided across it like ice. It was hot though but she kept walking. She was getting closer and the figure was becoming clearer. Her stomach was beginning to feel funny. It was turning over and tying in knots. Shivers were jumping across her skin as she came closer. She had to feel it so she couldn't stop. The soft humming of it's voice was guiding her nearer and the closer she became the more she wanted to touch it. It was calling her louder now and she was trying to get there.

She was just within reach and she could see the towering black figure before her. It stretched out its hand and she tried to grab it. She looked up to its face but it was blurry. She could see nothing except a foggy face and black covering it. The feeling in her body was so intense she couldn't stand it. She tried to run towards it but she couldn't move. Her heart was starting to race. She felt panicky. She needed so much to get there but she couldn't move. She stretched out her hand as far as she could and it called to her again. The feeling in her chest was swelling like a balloon. She was failing and she could feel the sobs coming up from her stomach. Why couldn't she reach it? She wanted to feel it so much, she wanted to be caught up in its touch but something wouldn't let her. Why!

Seda's breathing started to become heavier and faster. She looked like she was trying so hard to get somewhere or touch something but she couldn't. Small sobs were coming from her chest and she started to twitch and shiver.

Hermione looked up at Severus not knowing what to do. "Now what?" She asked very concerned. "What's happening to her?"

"I believe she is trying to go somewhere but she can't." He looked over at Hermione and she was moving her hand to touch Seda. "Don't touch her. It might scare her and then she may go into a traumatic stage." He looked at her very seriously.

Then she screamed "Why!" They both looked back at her and she was starting to cry. She was still sleeping and her arm was still in the air and she was becoming hysterical. She was starting to panic. They didn't know what they should do. Should they let her lie there crying or should they wake her up.

"What's happening? Tell us what's wrong?" Snape was demanding of her. But she only continued to sob.

Seda could hear someone yelling at her and she was getting scared. The floating figure was urging her to come closer but she couldn't. "I can't," She yelled out. Her fingertips were just touching its hand and then a force was pulling her down. The water was crashing all around her and she was sinking into the icy cold blackness. She started screaming for it to help her but it just stared at her, falling deeper into the water. She threw her arms out to try and grab it but the pulling was too strong. The small circle of light was becoming smaller and the faceless figure was drifting away, leaving her to drown. It called her name again and then it was gone. Everything was black. Her lungs were filling up with water and she couldn't breathe. Her chest was exploding and she could see nothing. She continued to scream but she was getting weak. The cold darkness was taking her and then she saw nothing more. She was gone.

Seda was snatching at something in the air and then she screamed, "I can't!" Her sobs were turning into gasps for air. She was hyperventilating as she began to thrash around in her sleep. Hermione looked horrified and Severus dropped to one of his knees so he could get closer to Seda. "Everything is going to be fine. Breathe." He tried to speak calmly but he was startled himself. It wasn't working.

She was screaming now and her chest was swelling, trying to get air. She started to toss and turn and her breathing were slowing fast. She looked like she was suffocating. Severus stood up and ran over to his desk to get the other potion but when he returned with it in his hand she stopped suddenly. She stopped moving and her arms fell to her side limply and she turned white.

Hermione let out a small scream and then dropped her notes on the floor. She fell to her knees next to Seda and started to feel her face. "She's freezing!" She looked up at Severus terrified. He bit off the cork and then poured the potion down her mouth. And then they waited. Snape lifted up one of her eyelids and her eyes were very glossy.

"It's not working." Hermione said breathlessly. She held Seda's hand and it was cold too.

"Give it a moment." Severus said sounding somewhat shaken. Then Seda began to shake violently. She was starting to sweat and her face and hands felt like they were now on fire. Her eyes snapped open and she began gasping for air. She rolled over and vomited on the floor. Hermione stood up getting away from it but she sat on the sofa next to her. She took out her wand and the mess vanished.

Seda continued to shake like she was freezing but her face was hot. She was breathing very fast and she was wheezing. Hermione held her hand and stroked her head. "Seda it's all right, it's over." Hermione looked up at Snape who was staring down at the crumpled figure of Seda. She was leaning over the side still and Hermione tried to push her back. Seda rolled over with her chest against the back of the sofa and she curled up into a ball. She buried her head into her chest and cried, though she was still shaking.

Hermione looked up at Severus again. "What do we do?" She stood up and watched Seda cry in a little ball.

"Nothing. We have to wait until she is calm and then she can tell us if she remembers anything." His voice was hollow.

"Should we take her up to her bed? I don't think she will do much talking tonight."

"I don't think moving her right now would be the best thing to do. She may still be confused in the parallels of her dream and she might start to act up again."

"Should I stay here with her then? I can owl Ron and tell him I can't be home and he will have to stay with Madison. Though he might have to take off in the night if he gets called." She looked down at Seda again with horror in her eyes.

"No, you go home. You should be there with your daughter. I will stay up with her tonight." He walked around to the desk and put the empty vial down. Hermione picked up her notes that fell on the floor and then she too walked over to the desk.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay? I can if I need to." Severus shook his head. "All right then, but I'll be back tomorrow morning to see how she is. If anything else happens don't hesitate to summon me back. I want to know if she falls into another stage."

Severus nodded at her and then with one last look over at Seda she left. Severus got up and walked back over to the girl curled up on his sofa. She was still crying but faintly. She was getting tired; he could hear it in her sobs. Her breathing was more stable now and she was shivering still. He conjured a blanket and laid it over her. He sat on the chair next to her and waited until she fell asleep. She must have been exhausted because it only took several minutes for that to happen.

She was sleeping now but she was still shivering slightly. Severus leaned forward and put his hand on her cheek, she was still very hot. He continued to sit there watching over her. And minutes turned into hours but he wasn't going to leave her side until he was positive she was at peace. Finally sometime in the dead of night or very early morning, he wasn't sure, he stood and walked out of the office. He glanced back at the small bundle and then went to bed. Though he didn't sleep much that night.


	21. A Night the Moon Cried

Thank you again to everyone who has been following this story. It's so hard to find time to plan out ideas and then actually sit and write them. But this is rather relaxing. This story is so much of an escape for me that when I'm writing it I am truly in another world. It's my Harry Potter zone I suppose, but right now it's pretty much dominated by Severus and Seda. Which is fine, because I enjoy Seda's character very much. There is a lot of myself in Seda so it's quite easy to write about her. Oh, don't I wish I could meet the real Severus Snape. What a dream that would be, sigh. Ok, let's get to this next chapter. Toodles!

Seda woke the next morning very confused and very ill. She had no idea how she ended up on the couch in Snape's office but she was so tired she didn't care. She rolled over with her back to the couch and curled up in a ball and pulled the blanket tightly around her body. She was freezing. She closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

Severus came back down to the dungeons after breakfast. Seda was still a sleep when he left so he didn't bother to wake her. He was tired himself having not slept very much but he forced himself to stay awake. At least it was Sunday and there were no classes.

He entered his office and noticed she had turned over. That was good she was able to move. He wasn't really sure if he should wake her up now so when he walked over to her he just stared. She seemed to be breathing normally; it wasn't quickened or too slow. It sounded like she was just very tired. He put his hand on her head and she was still very warm but then she opened her eyes with an expression of terror.

She gasped and when she realized she was awake and it was only Severus standing there she relaxed. She looked up at him confused. Her eyes were very bloodshot and her face white. "What… happened?" Her voice was also very hoarse.

"Can you remember anything Miss Wood?" He sat down on the chair next to her.

Her eyes followed him. "I only remember having that dream and nothing else. What happened to me? And why am I still down here?" She was looking around now.

"After the state you were in last night we felt it was best to leave you as you were. Can you remember what happened during your dream?"

Seda lied back down and closed her eyes. "It was… horrible. It felt so much more real this time. It was exactly as I told you before but… worse. I don't want to think about it professor." She contracted into a ball again and hid her face in her chest. "I feel so empty now and so…" She sighed but there was a quiver in her breath. "Scared."

Severus didn't ask her any more questions so he sat there by her side until Hermione came. Madison joined her this time.

"I got here as soon as I could. How is she? Has she said anything yet?" She asked as she walked into his office and over to the sofa. Madison was trying to break free of her mother's grip.

"She was awake for only a few minutes but she went back to sleep. She seems very tired and she looks ill."

"Did she remember anything?" She looked back at Severus.

"She mentioned the dream was exactly the same except it was more realistic this time, undoubtedly I'm sure." He looked down at Madison who was waving at him. When he stared at her she hid behind her mother's legs and she peaked around at him.

"What do you suppose they mean?" She lost her balance slightly as Madison hugged her legs.

Severus looked back at her then over to Seda. "I couldn't say for certain because I have not heard enough detail of the events happening in them but I believe it may be an emotional sense triggered in her relaxed mind that is causing the dreams. They could be a warning, I don't know yet."

"A warning? What kind of warning? You don't mean some sort of prophesy do you, because that is all a bunch of rubbish."

"A prophecy no, an awareness of subconscious feelings probable. As I said, I do not have the answers. I know just as much about these dreams as you."

"How soon do you think she can handle this again?"

"It depends on her ability to recover. Too much of this can cause over stress on her mind and then she would clearly go insane. She seems to be experiencing very realistic feelings which are causing physical and mental affects."

"Is that normal? I mean does it usually affect a person this much?" She stared down at Seda helplessly.

Severus put his fingers over his eyes. "It is rare for one to experience such intense emotions as she seems to have but it is part of the process. There is nothing we can do but let her go through with the emotions or we will never learn what is triggering them."

Severus and Hermione sat and wrote out the first result in the journal. Madison was sitting on the sofa next to Seda looking at her. She was trying to poke her to wake up but Seda didn't move.

It was nearly lunch when Seda woke up. Severus and Hermione were still reviewing some books and charts when they heard her. She opened her eyes and found a lump at her feet. Madison thought that since Seda wasn't going to wake up she would just join her in a nap. She was spread out across her legs so when Seda tried to stand she found herself stuck. She lost her balance and the upper half of her body fell over the side while the lower half was tangled in toddler.

She let out a small yelp and Hermione rushed over to help her. She pulled her back and then she picked up Madison so she could free her legs. As she tried to stand her legs felt very weak and shaky. She stumbled to the side slightly and then she grabbed the chair to keep herself from falling.

"Why am I so weak? I hate this." She said frustrated to her self. Hermione looked at her not knowing what to say.

"Are you hungry? You didn't eat breakfast." Hermione finally said.

Seda moved her eyes slowly towards Hermione. "I don't really feel all that up to food at the moment. I'd be satisfied if I could walk straight."

Severus spoke quietly. "You should probably try to eat Miss Wood. You may feel worse if you don't."

"Fine, it doesn't matter." She stood straight and attempted to walk to the door but she wobbled on the way. She felt as if she had just been drinking all night. Nothing in front of her would stay put in its place, or at least her eyes weren't seeing straight.

Severus opened the door for her and then he exited after Hermione and Madison. Seda was having a bit of trouble up the stairs so she leaned against the cold stone walls for guidance. When she reached the Entrance Hall she was panting slightly. Her head was also not enjoying the walk. It was pounding and it sounded like drums banging over her eyes. She wished it would stop.

Lunch went by slowly she thought. Nothing on the plate looked worth eating and when she tried to taste it she had the urge to gag. She abandoned her food finally and resorted to looking down at her hands or glancing around the table.

Hermione had joined them for lunch and the staff was pleased to see Madison. She was thoroughly entertaining most of them but Severus didn't seem interested in the events taking place at the other side of the table. He ate quite a bit slower then usual, which was saying something. Seda noticed him eyeing her occasionally. Finally it bugged her so much she had to say something.

"I'm not going to drop over dead you know." She whispered angrily. "I'm just tired professor and I don't feel like eating."

He stared out of the corner of his eye for a moment and then slowly he turned his head towards her. "I understand" Was all he managed to say.

She looked at him for a while with a frown on her face but then she blinked and the tiniest shadow of a smile played at the corner of her mouth but she turned her head back down to her hands. Very softly she said "Thanks" and they said no more.

Hermione and Seda said their good-byes some time later and made arrangements to see each other again that week. Hermione and Madison left the castle and Seda headed up the stairs. She took each step as if her life depended on it and she grasped the banister tightly in case she fell.

It was a long journey up to her rooms and the rushing around from the other students made her somewhat dizzy. When she reached the sanctuary of her stable rooms she was happy to be there again. It seemed like it had been a long time since she was there. The first thing she decided to do was take a long shower and relax. She had a lot of homework to finish that night so she needed her strength.

Several hours later she sat at her small study table and tried to concentrate on the mounds of homework before her. Concentration was something she wasn't good at today. All she could think about was that dream. It was so much more intense this time, but what did they mean. Why was she having them she wondered?

She dwelled on her thoughts for periods at a time and found that she ignored her work to the point that she had only written one sentence in the last ten minutes. She shook her head to rid the dream from her mind but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't. She snapped the books closed and threw down her quill and stood up. She needed a walk.

Seda ventured out onto the grounds. The fresh crisp air would do her good and hopefully it would clear her mind. The day was bright and the sun was warm on her face. It was different from being in the dungeons where it was cold and dark. The light was almost blinding as she walked down the path towards the lake.

She had no intention of going anywhere in particular but for some reason they led her to the lake. As she passed Hagrid's hut Fang was out sniffing around the trees. Seda called to him to say hello and then he came running at her. He leapt up into the air and knocked her backwards in attempt to lick her face. She was able to roll over and push herself up and then she continued down the path with Fang at her side.

She walked around the edge of the lake and found a nice little spot of grass to sit on. She was going to sit under the tree but several other students who were out savoring the glorious day too occupied it. Fang plopped down next to her and put his head in her lap. She couldn't help but give a small laugh as the gigantic dog let out a sigh. He was positively the biggest puppy she had ever seen; well he acted more like one. She rested a hand on his enormous head and scratched behind his ears for a while.

The scenery around the lake was so breathtaking it was more like a painting. The lake looked like a forbidden deep blue glass, the forest a seductive lush green and golden palette and the mountains stretching high above into the stars were magical. It was exhilarating being able to sit before it and soak up the beauty and the sun but when she looked back out into the lake a feeling of urgency came over her.

The dreams were becoming so real that she could almost vision that figure floating out there in the distance. She tried to look away but her eyes were drawn to it. What was it that made her dream self want to go out there so badly, so desperately. She could almost feel those same emotions come over her as she sat there, very much awake. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to think of that moment in the dream where she wanted to run into the lake. All she could remember feeling was lonely and that what ever was out there would make it go away. Then she pictured that figure gliding towards her and how she longed for its touch. It was so devastating when she could almost touch it and then get sucked into the water. She could hazily feel the pain swelling up in her chest as she envisioned herself drowning into the cold black oblivion and become nothing more.

She snapped open her eyes to make herself stop. She was breathing heavily again so she fell back onto the softness of the grass and stared up into the sky. Fang moved his head so it was on her stomach and he rested a paw on her leg. The sky above her was in the stage of changing from day to night. The light blue that floated so freely at the top of the sky was slowly being pushed away. A deeper blue was taking its place at the highest point in the air and the purple shades were like icing around it. Softly the purples melted into pinks and those faded into orange.

The sun was glowing behind the mountains and it cast shadows among the lake and the grounds. The reflections were so clear in the water it seemed as if it were a mirror. Stars were just starting to appear in the distant galaxies and hovered above so carelessly. She watched as the smoky clouds glided through the sky and let patches of moon light spill on the ground. Something about the way the landscape looked that evening was enchanting and bewitching and she lied there for hours not knowing time had passed at all.

She was daydreaming about all sorts of things when a gust of wind swept past her. She was brought back to reality abruptly when she thought she heard something curious. Faintly on the wings of the breeze sweeping by she could have almost sworn she heard her name being called, but distantly. She sat bolt up right and looked around. She was surprised to find that everyone had gone inside and the day had suddenly turned into night. The lights from the castle were glowing and it looked ten times its normal size.

It was somewhat eerie but it was peaceful. She continued to look around for the source of the calling but there was no one there. She stood up and brushed the blades of grass and dirt from her robes and then she headed around the lake and back up to the castle, stopping at Hagrid's along the way to return Fang.

Her cheeks were pink from the coolness of the night and as she took her seat at the table Severus gave her a questioning look. "Are you ill again Miss Wood?" he was referring to the rosy ness of her face and the wind swept look in her eyes.

"I was outside for a while professor, I needed a walk. I'm fine, really." She was actually looking forward to eating this time. Instead of losing her appetite at the sight of food it made her feel even hungrier. She ladled her self a generous portion of potato stew.

Severus said nothing else; instead he let her eat in silence. He knew she must have been starving so he did not try to interrupt her. He was satisfied to see her eat again; he was growing worried that she would starve her self. At the end of the meal they said good night and they both returned to their rooms. Seda was exhausted from the weekend so she did the last of her homework as quickly as possible then passed out on the softness of her bed. She was sinking into a restful sleep and hopefully peaceful dreams.

The week was going by normally. She didn't have any more dreams about dying and she felt much more energized now that she had recovered from the first experiment. She was learning at top speed and receiving great marks from the teachers. They were quite impressed at her ability to comprehend everything she was being taught in such short time. She impressed her self on occasion.

Thursday night she had a potions session with Snape. She was looking forward to it actually. She walked up to the office door and knocked. "Enter," said the same cold voice of Snape. She entered and he was sitting at his desk going over papers, as usual. When she sat down he still hadn't looked up at her nor said a word. She gave a small sigh and then walked over to the window. She could see the rain clinging to the outer glass.

He had finally looked up to see her leaning against the sill. He wasn't exactly sure if she thought she was here to go over another potion or to discuss the events of Saturday night. He knew if he kept quiet long enough she would confess. So he did, he didn't say a word. He let her stand going over her thoughts at the window and he watched her contently.

Moonlight was shining down on her and caressing her long, wavy hair, which she let fall gracefully today. Her small body was illuminated in the shadow of the stars and moon and it looked like power and aura was radiating from her very skin. Every small movement was magnetized in the illusion of the night surrounding her but she seemed so calm and so distant. What was going on in her mind that he couldn't understand?

Seda couldn't handle the silence any longer. She knew he was doing it purposefully and she hated to give in to his silent commands but she was not in the mood to argue. So she spoke quietly and truthfully. "You don't know what they mean do you?"

He knew it would work, it always does. "Completely no, partially yes." His voice was very deep and slow. She didn't turn around to give him that look she always did when he answered so honestly instead of telling her what she wanted to hear, but she remained still and only her head moved. She let it fall in disappointment.

"Dreams are very complicated to understand and to study Miss Wood. You cannot expect to uncover the secrets hidden in the layers of your mind in only one night. It takes time and patience."

"I don't know if I can handle these dreams anymore professor. I hate feeling the way I do after and volunteering to do it freely is almost unbearable. I know it would be for the best in the outcome but something is just not right. I don't feel right. I feel… empty."

He didn't respond to this. He let her go on talking about the way she felt. "You know, it reminds of what Professor Lupin told me. About those Death Eaters who left Voldemort before they were absorbed into his power."

His eyes shot up. "What did he tell you?" He tried to remain calm.

"He mentioned that he knew a Death Eater who was manipulated into becoming something he wasn't and that no matter what forgiveness and acceptance was offered he would never forget what they did and he would never allow himself to feel complete again. He said its like living a half-life, you are there but you wish you weren't. It must be a horrible feeling to live your life remembering what you did knowing you didn't want to and even though people accept you for what you are you don't. I can understand that feeling of loneliness. Its similar to what I feel when I wake up from those dreams… complete emptiness."

He didn't answer he just looked at her. What did she know about what it felt like? She would never understand what his life was like. Before Voldemort was destroyed he used to hope for his life and at the same time wish he could just die after what he had done to innocent people. She would never have to suffer like that, ever.

"It must be a sad life. I could imagine the pain he must suffer. Praying for your life and at the same time wishing you would just die so you don't have to deal with it. He must be very strong willed to have survived through it all. Just from hearing what Lupin told me I admire that man already, but it's too bad he can't go on with his life normally. I would think no less of him even though his past is full of terrible things."

"You couldn't possibly imagine the suffering they had to live through. The events that took place would make you insane so you would never understand." He was feeling a bit angry at her childishness.

She turned around and stared at him with her eyes narrowed. "Well, I probably wouldn't understand completely because I wasn't one of them but I can at least sympathize. I said I could relate to that feeling of emptiness not all the feelings in general."

"It's more complicated then feeling empty Miss Wood."

She looked utterly confused. Why was he being so defensive? "Fine, maybe I don't understand but why would you care about the way I felt towards that situation?"

He turned his head away. "Never mind, it doesn't matter. It's not important."

"Then why are you telling me I could never understand? What does it have to do with you?" She took a step closer to him and spoke more quietly. "Did you know him too professor?" Why wasn't he looking at her?

He took a breath and paused before he answered. "I thought I knew him… but now I want nothing to do with him." He answered honestly. He didn't want anything to do with himself. He hated what he was no matter how hard he tried to forget his past. Part of him would never let himself forget it and it tore him apart.

Seda stood in place. "Don't you think he would need you on his side for support. How can he ever heal if you can't accept him no matter his past?"

Severus looked back at her with a look of utmost fury. "Don't talk about things you don't understand and do not lecture me about morals. I am quite capable of dealing with it on my own with out some silly little girl telling me what is right and wrong."

Why was he so difficult? She hated it when he acted like this. She could handle yelling or even physical abuse but when he pierced her with hateful words poisoned by his tongue she lost her self. She tried to explain her feelings and then he became defensive as if she was insulting him. Why did he care anyway? Her heart was heavy and pounding.

She fixed her eyes on him with cold and anger in them. "Don't call me a little girl professor." She let her voice sink into the walls and travel round his head. "I was not lecturing you. I was merely stating my opinion, more of my feelings on the matter and then you became defensive."

He clenched his teeth together. "Your opinion makes no difference to me or the situation nor do I care what you feel about it. What you think is not important and it never will be to the matter so save your breath and stop blabbering about it like a child."

She closed her mouth tightly and she could feel the wateriness swelling up in the back of her eyes. Her heart felt like it dropped into her stomach. She couldn't say anything.

Severus could see the hurt in her eyes and he knew what he said hit her hard but she needed to hear it. He didn't care what she thought; it would never make any difference. But when she walked out of the room with out saying a word he knew he had probably said too much. Why were children so sensitive anyway, especially young girls? Well, she wasn't exactly a girl. She was a young woman but he didn't care what she felt. Even though those eyes looked at him with a sense of hate in them that time. He didn't like it.

Seda left the room with out saying good-bye or even taking her things. She couldn't handle being in that room any longer, not when he was being brutal and mutilating her feelings. She wasn't even allowed to talk about how she felt with out him getting angry and accusing her of being childish. What was his problem anyway? She only said she understood what it would feel like somewhat and how it would be sad that they can't go on with their life… and then he goes mental. She didn't understand him, not at all.

It didn't seem like he cared about her thoughts at all. Why was she even bothering to do this Sleep Aid with him. He probably doesn't want to discover the meaning of them anyway. It was a waste of time and energy for them both.

She didn't know where she was going to go. It was raining so she didn't really want to go outside. Instead she decided she would just wander around the castle and go back later for her things when she had time to clear her mind.

Seda climbed the stairs in the direction towards her rooms but she didn't want to go there so she continued up the steps. Maybe she would visit Lupin. She walked past his office but it was empty so she continued down the corridor. She passed by portraits of ancient people and places and she could still feel her eyes watering.

She leaned against the wall near a stone gargoyle and let her head lie back against the coolness of the marble. She closed her eyes and felt the stinging of the tears being pushed away. She took deep breaths to keep herself calm. He made her so angry. Didn't he realize how hurtful his words were at times, obviously not? As long as he made him self perfectly clear he didn't care what anyone else was feeling.

"Having a nice rest Seda?" A low voice came next to her. She opened her eyes and saw Dumbledore just beside her.

She immediately stood straight to look up at him. "Oh, no. I was just… I was just thinking professor. I'm sorry if I disturbed you."

His eyes sparkled at her. "No need to apologize for your thoughts, it's quite a normal thing to do. I find myself lost in my thoughts regularly but it is not always a burden. Thinking is what makes up our choices and those go on to decide our actions and our actions determine our future. So it must start somewhere." She smiled. "The castle is rather large and you are free to wander at will so I would not say you were disturbing me. I, like you, was just stepping out for a stroll. It's a good thing you didn't walk outside, the rain is a little wet tonight." He smiled this time.

She didn't say anything. She always lost her words when she was in his company. "I see that something is troubling you. Is there anything I can do to help?" He looked down at her over his glasses.

"No professor, there is nothing you can do. The are only thoughts that keep me troubled."

"I see. I am aware that your experiment went as planned. Your dream successful."

"I suppose you could call it successful if you had to give it a rating. But that is not what I was thinking about." She looked at the paintings on the wall.

"What was it that you were wondering then in such a way?" He continued to stare at her over his glasses, even though she wasn't looking at him.

"It was… never mind. It's not worth my breath." She lowered her head.

"Very well, but so you know… the Potions Master is more then what he appears to be. Do not let words frighten you away from your feelings Seda, or you will never achieve your desires. Good night, get some rest."

Seda looked up at him immediately and her neck cracked. She put a hand up to the sore spot but she gazed at Dumbledore with an open mouth and pure dumbfounded ness. "What… how… good- good night professor." Everything came out in fragments. How did he know? And what did he mean by that?

He turned to re-enter the doorway and he looked back just as he was about to step onto the stairs. "I believe he is waiting at your rooms to return your books. Remember; do not let words frighten you. They can be misleading." With a last twinkle of his eye and a small nod he disappeared up the steps.

She stood there extremely confused and actually amazed. How did he know that is what she was thinking about? What did he mean by achieving my desires? And what on earth made Snape seem different then he was? These clouded her head for several minutes until she realized she should see for her self if he really was waiting at her door.

She left the corridor and descended down the stairs to the second floor. She was completely in another zone because she reached her rooms faster then she thought possible. She didn't even remember leaving the third floor. Maybe she shouldn't think so much when she was walking but Dumbledore was right. Just as she turned the corner there was Snape, standing at her door with her books in hand. She was speechless.

Snape saw her at the corner. She was standing there, not moving towards him at all. Apparently she was not speaking to him. "You left these in my office. I thought you might need them to continue your studying. You should really not leave your work behind. It will not always come back to you." He said much less irritated as he sounded before. Maybe he realized what he said was hurtful.

Seda still didn't move. She stared at him with her lips sealed together and her eyes wide and full of question. Her chest was rising and falling heavily. She hadn't even blinked yet.

"Are you incapable of movement or are you just going to stare at me?" His voice was demanding this time. Not of forced calm as it was a few moments ago. He could see in her eyes that she was searching him for answers and obviously she was slightly hurt by his words earlier.

She was thinking about what Dumbledore had just said. 'Do not let words frighten you away from your feelings or you will never achieve your desires.' With out thinking she walked up to him, very closely. Their bodies were an inch from each other and she looked right up into his eyes. She had to put her head back very far as he was almost a foot taller then she was. He seemed to be surprised at her sudden close encountering.

"You hurt me professor." She grabbed the books out of his hands and burst through her door. She walked a few steps into her room and stopped. Suddenly rage came over her. All the emotions leading up from the last week were swimming around in her chest and she couldn't hold it anymore. She turned around to face him and then she threw her books down. This startled him slightly. He was not expecting her to get so angry. "I don't understand you!" She yelled at him through the door.

He stood there with his eyebrows raised. "You are not supposed to understand me and I never asked you to. So save your fury Miss Wood."

She was so angry that she stormed over to the door and slammed it in his face. Now he was really irritated. No one was going to slam the door in his face. The door burst open and he entered her rooms with out thinking. He was going to match her fury and she would regret it.

She was pacing around the room and when the door burst open she stopped and stared at him. You could almost see the steam puffing out of her ears. He spoke angrily.

"Now see here Miss Wood. It is disrespectful to slam the door in ones face and not to mention your superior. I would expect more cooperation from you-" She cut him off.

"Disrespect? Disrespect!" She walked up to him. "How dare you talk to me about disrespect after the way you treated me in your office! I can't even carry a conversation with out you accusing me of being childish! And then you go off and rant about me not understanding anything!" She was close to him again and this made him nervous. She stared up at him with daggers flying out of her eyes. He could feel them stabbing him.

"Because you don't understand. You assume that because of a stupid dream you are knowledgeable of everyone's feelings!" He shouted back at her and she could see his eyes flash. "If you weren't so ignorant you would see that there are other things in this world that are far worse then a dream that means nothing and maybe you would then under-"

Before he could finish he was brought to a painful stop. Just as he was concluding his statement her eyes flashed like never before and she raised her hand to his face. She slapped him and it echoed like a whip across the room. She turned around and walked off to the bedroom. He grabbed her by the arm before she could leave and wrenched her around. "Get off!" She shouted at him and he could see a tear falling slowly over her cheek. She tried to push his hand off her arm but he wouldn't let go.

"Let go of me!" She shouted again as he pulled her towards him. She turned her head away from him, as she couldn't walk away.

He narrowed his eyes at her. No one had ever slapped him before. She wasn't going to get away with it either. "What was the meaning of that?" He squeezed her arm tightly and he could feel her wince beneath him.

"Do not say to me that those dreams mean nothing! You know nothing about them, nothing! You don't know what it feels like to wake up after thinking you died. And you know damn well that they are more then what they seem!" She clenched his arms to push away but his grip was too strong. So she gripped his sleeves and tried to bury her face in his chest.

He didn't say anything. He stared down at the squirming girl who was trying hard not to cry. "I thought you might actually care how I felt and I thought you could help me figure out what they mean but I was wrong." She was crying into his chest. "All you care about is yourself and that no one will ever understand you!" She pulled so hard away from him that the material on his sleeves ripped leaving his forearms bare and his sleeves curled at his wrists.

She was just backing away from him when she saw a faintly red outlined scar on his arm. It looked like a tattoo that was removed badly. She stared at it while tears rolled down her face and then she looked up at him. She had seen that mark before in a book she read. It was the mark the Dark Lord burned into his servants.

Her mouth dropped and she began to breathe heavily. "It's… you. You're the one that left him aren't you?" Her face was full of terror. He didn't answer. He continued to stare at her, like he had been doing for the last few minutes. "Why didn't you tell me? I was talking about it and you never told me!" Her eyes were wide and red.

"If I told you, you would have never looked at me again and never trusted me." His face was full of anger and he spoke dangerously. "It's my past anyway, it matters no more."

"It does matter! That's why you can't stand it when I talk about my dreams isn't it? You don't want me to understand! I trusted you to be honest with me. Just because that is your past you think it's ok to treat me like you do! Well it's not ok! Look at what it's done to me! And you don't even care! You've just been trying to hide this from me!"

"You will never understand what it was like. You think you do but you don't!" He turned to walk towards the open door but just as he reached it the door slammed shut. He whipped around and saw that she was furious again.

She didn't even know how she did it. She was just so angry that when she looked at the door it closed itself. "How am I to understand if you won't let me?"

He whipped back around and strode towards her. He grabbed her arms again to make her listen. "Because, you know nothing about it. And I don't want you to understand. So listen to me-." He was cut off again.

"No! You listen to me! Something is not right about those dreams and I know you know it. And every time I look at you I feel like you can help me. Every time I come close to you I feel safe but you are pushing me away. How can I trust you now if you won't let me understand you!" She wasn't trying to push away from him this time. She wanted him to hear her loud and clear. "I think no less of you because of what you were. I know that's not you. I see it in your eyes! So why won't you help me?"

His eyes began to flash again but she wasn't pulling away. He wanted to yell at her but instead he held her tighter. Why wasn't she backing down? Would she ever get the point? "Because I don't know if I can help you. I'm a horrible person and what I was is still part of me, no matter what you think." He spoke in a whisper this time but viciously.

Seda's eyes were not as hateful as they were before. They were searching his for truth. Tears were still slipping away and escaping down her skin and he could see the glimmer back in her eyes. "You are not a horrible person. I know you're not. And you can help me… you just don't want to. I don't care what you were it's just as you said, your past. I don't believe that you are that person anymore, you never really were."

He stared down at her again. Her eyes were shining up at him, full of truth and emotion. Why wasn't she scared of him? She stared back at him not letting him escape. Her heart was heavy again and her chest was swelling once more. "I need your help! Please!"

"You don't want someone like me Seda." He realized after he said it that he wasn't thinking when he let it slip. But it was the truth.

Something in her eyes changed. If they were blue before it was nothing like they were now. It looked like a galaxy of stars sparkling at him. "What?" She whispered. "You said… my name." She looked puzzled but almost flattered. "Yes I do. I want your help." She put her hands back on his arms and tried to shake him. He was like a rock.

They stood there for a moment and it looked very odd. He stood there looking down at her with his sleeves torn and his arms gripping hers while she stared up at him with tears on her face and her own hands gripping him back. They could both feel the intensity of the moment but neither of them wanted another shouting match.

Severus spoke softly, trying to make her understand one last time. "No you don't. You don't know what I am and-" He was cut off yet again.

She didn't know what came over her and she wasn't even thinking when it happened. She couldn't handle him trying to make her realize he was some horrible creature and that he could do nothing for her so she did what felt natural. Her brain didn't even tell her to do it. It was more of a feeling in her heart.

Severus was quite surprised to find him self being cut off not by her words but her lips. It happened so fast that at one moment he saw her eyes glimmering at him and then the next moment he was looking at her eyelashes feathered against her skin. He didn't know what made her do it and he was going to push her away but then he remembered how sweet her lips tasted and he didn't want it to end.

She didn't know what she was doing. She knew it was probably wrong but it felt so right she didn't care about the consequences. She felt his hands grip her arms tighter and she was pulled closer to him but then it stopped. She opened her eyes and he was staring at her and shaking his head.

"This is not right. We shouldn't be doing this." His eyes were full of horror but he knew he was going to regret this. He started backing away from her.

She looked at him moving away and their eyes never left each other's. It was right and he knew it, she knew it. She shook her own head. "I don't care." She said breathlessly as she moved forwards and locked her lips to his again.

She pulled away quickly and spoke as if she had no air. "It feels right. You know it does." And she pressed her lips to his again. He gripped her arms again and she felt herself being pulled closer to him. His body was so warm and the beating of his heart was soothing.

He moved one of his hands from her arm and gently laid it on her neck, resting his thumb behind her ear. Her hair felt silky between his fingers so he took his other hand and ran it through her waves.

She put her hands on his shoulders to bring her self closer to him and when he ran his fingers through her hair it sent shivers down to her lower back. She brought her hands down to his chest and rested them there.

He was devouring her lips and she was losing herself in the moment. Who knew that all that shouting would end up like this? They stood there for who knows how long entrapped in one another's lips. Neither of them wanted it to end.

The fast passionate kisses smoothed into slow delicate treats and they were dangerously delicious. Somehow they moved towards her bedroom and she was leaning back against the edge of the bed. She didn't know what was happening and neither did he. She pulled him on top of her so they were both lying on the bed and their lips never parted. They paused and he looked into her eyes for a moment. She put her hands on his face and pulled him back down. She smiled into his mouth as he let his hands become tangled in her hair. The feeling inside her was perfect but she was also scared. She would be giving him her innocence and she wasn't sure if he would accept it.

She pulled away from him so she could look at him. She didn't know how she was going to say this but she had to. "Wait." He looked down at her and he lowered his eyebrows. "I just want to tell you that… I'm…" She couldn't say it.

He understood what she meant though. He would be taking her innocence away from her and he wasn't sure if she was ready. He wasn't sure if he was ready. She was practically still a child. She was scared he could see it in her eyes. And even though how perfect they both felt at that moment the time wasn't right for that. He rested his hand on her cheeks and looked into her beautiful eyes wishing he could look at them forever.

She closed her eyes at his touch and then he softly laid a kiss on her eyelids, feathering against her lashes. He was pulling away to leave. She knew he didn't want to take her innocence away from her and she accepted it but she didn't want him to leave. She put her hands on his arms pulling him back and she said innocently looking up at him, "stay."

He rested his hands on her on her neck. "I can't." And he stood up leaving her lying on the bed. She sat up as his hands softly glided away from her skin. She looked at him more desperately then before and he felt a knot twist in his stomach but he couldn't stay. This was all wrong and it should never have happened. "I'm sorry." But he wanted it to happen. He was drifting away from her slowly.

She stood up and continued to stare at him with longing ness in her eyes. She walked over to him and grabbed his hand. She put it against her face and spoke quietly "I understand." She gave him a small smile and he let his hand caress her face one more time and then he glided out of the room.

She stood there with her hand on her face staring where he once stood. The stars seemed to sparkle more that night but the moon, it felt, was crying.


	22. Partings and Meetings

I'm so sorry if I disappointed anyone at the ending of that last chapter. The time was just not right for it. I knew it, Severus knew it and Seda knew it. If it was to go any further then it did I would have ruined the flow of the story so therefore I had to stop it. Don't you just love it when they argue? I DO! Writing those scenes is truly amusing because Severus is easy to write about when he's yelling and it's fun to add in the teasing from Seda. Evil I know, but it is oh so fun to write. Anyway, I am desperately trying to write as much as I can before I go out of town for a week because I want you to have plenty to read while I'm away. I'm leaving on the 17th and I'll be back on the 27th so I have my work cut out for me. Thanks everyone for staying with the story. It's becoming longer then I expected it would be but that is all for the better. I hate rushing things so you will just have to be patient, ha ha! Ok sorry, but I couldn't help myself. Enjoy the next chapter. Toodles!

Friday was a very strange day indeed. Severus and Seda ignored each other as much as possible during class and meals. They only spoke to each other when it was absolutely necessary and they avoided eye contact. Every so often they would catch each others eye in hopes that the other wasn't looking but they quickly looked away after their eyes lingered on the other for a second.

That night after dinner Seda returned to her rooms and found a little owl tapping at her window. It was so small it could fit in her hand and when she opened the window it zoomed around the sitting room. She watched it fly excitedly around and finally she called it down. It flew to her shoulder and she grabbed the letter out of its beak.

She ripped it open and saw it was from Hermione. She asked if she would join her Saturday night in honor of her birthday, which was Sunday the nineteenth. She explained that her friend Ginny would be in town and that her dear friend Harry would also be there. She stated that she badly wanted them to meet her and would she please come.

Seda couldn't resist the opportunity so she wrote back right away saying she would be there. She sent the tiny owl off after she tied it to its leg. It didn't want to stop hopping so it took several minutes. It flew out the window and Seda watched it go. It became a minuscule gray spec and then vanished into the night.

She walked into the bathroom thinking she would need to buy her a gift that next morning, as she had nothing to give her. What did she like anyway? She stepped into the shower and thought of ideas but none of them were good ones. She wondered for a while as she soaked underneath the massive waterfall and then her thoughts suddenly changed from birthday gifts to kisses.

She couldn't stop thinking about the previous night. It was very unexpected. She hardly knew she was doing it until it was almost over. What made her kiss him like that? She hadn't even planned it, it just happened like a reflex. Her brain had seemed to stop working at that point. Why did she do it? What would he think of her now?

As she lathered up the shampoo in her hair she had another thought. He didn't seem to object though. At first he did, but after he was swept away just like her. She was very confused. Did he even want to kiss her? Was she forcing him? She had no idea. But then they had moved to her bedroom and she was about to have sex with him. What was happening? Obviously if he didn't want to he would have stopped and so would she before it got to far but she did tell him, well partially, that she was still a virgin.

He acted so proper about it though. He didn't seem angry or disgusted. He could tell she was scared and he pulled away. He was probably much more experienced then she anyway, considering he was older then her, but she didn't mind the age difference. He wasn't really old anyway and she wasn't exactly really young. But did he think so? Is that why he stopped or was it because he never wanted to do it in the first place?

She was really confused now. But were they even attracted to each other or was it just the heat of that moment? She thought double time now. Yes she answered herself. She was attracted to him… maybe. He did have amazing eyes that embraced your every glance and he did have wonderful hands. They were so delicate and gentle. And his body was so warm and solid, she felt so safe being pressed against it. And then there were his lips, his delicious dominating lips. She could feel the memory of them now. Oh and his voice. That was probably her favorite thing about him, except when he was being cruel and yelling. But his voice was so deep and rich and silky and it was also seductive, soothing and calming. It made her shiver every time she thought about it but she liked it. He smelled very nice too. It was rugged and woodsy yet elegant and smooth. Mm, she could almost taste it.

She hadn't even realized that while she was thinking of all his wonderful aspects she had completely frozen. Her hands were still tangled in her soapy hair and she was staring at nothing but she was picturing him before her. What was she kidding? He probably didn't see her in any of those ways. He probably thought her a silly little girl as he so often said… but why then did he kiss her like he did; so sweetly and passionately. She had absolutely no idea so she sighed. It probably was a mistake and now she would have to live with that in her memory forever. She tried to pull a move on her professor.

She walked into the bedroom fifteen minutes later and pulled on her pajamas. She twisted her hair up in a knot and then sat on her balcony reading. It was cool and breezy and the sounds of the forest lulled in the night. Songs from the night birds and creatures of darkness sang their harmonious tunes and it was positively enchanting. The light of the lantern was flickering against her skin and it glowed a luminous golden yellow. The light danced around on the pages of her spell book making her feel like dancing herself.

She really did miss it. It was hard to be away from it and she was so busy that it would be near impossible to find time to do it freely. The only options she had were either late in the night or sunrise on the weekends. Every other minute was devoted to classes, studying and sleeping. Then she had to eat she supposed so that took up more of her time. She couldn't believe how limited her time was here but she didn't mind it. She liked keeping busy, it made her forget how she missed her parents. She thought about them often and their memory always brought a smile to her face.

She took out the chain around her neck from under her shirt and looked at the objects hanging from it. A golden cross that was given to her at her baptism and a tiny golden ring that was a gift when she was born. They were special to her, especially that ring. Her parents never let her wear it because they were afraid she would lose it so they kept it in her keepsake box. Just now they thought she could be responsible for it so they sent it to her to wear with her cross.

She didn't know the whole story about that ring but only that it was with her from the moment she was born. She supposed it was from her birth mother as she was adopted but she wished she knew everything about it. Her parents told her it was with her when they picked her up and the nurses said the second they cleaned her off after birth that ring was on her finger. They had no idea how it got there but it was magical. Ironic that she turned out to be a witch. That story intrigued her greatly but the mysteriousness of it fascinated her more. All she knew or cared about was that it was very dear to her and she would never let anything happen to it.

She continued to read for quite some time until the light of the lantern became low. She closed the book and stepped inside the room, leaving the door open a crack to let in the night air. She extinguished the candles in her room with the wave of her wand and let the fire dim and go out itself when it pleased. The soft crackling from the fireplace and the rustling of the leaves were like a soft lullaby and she drifted off onto the wings of her dreams in a matter of minutes.

Everything around her was foggy and hazy but the view of the lake was clear. She could feel her self-coming nearer to the edge and she could hear the wind blowing through her hair. A voice that sounded as if it were riding on the breeze hummed softly in her ears. It was saying her name and she needed to go out onto the water. She stepped onto it and it turned to a glassy surface but it was warm beneath her feet. A figure was floating in the distance and she needed to touch it. It was drawing her closer and she began to panic. She wanted to feel it but she was scared though she couldn't turn away. It was just within her reach and she lifted her hand to feel its face but it was blurry. She could see a hand extending towards her and she tried to grab it. She was inches from it and then she felt herself being pulled under the water. She yelled out for it to help her and it just stared at her being dragged away. She kicked and threw her arms but she couldn't get anywhere. The light at the surface was fading and she could feel herself tense. Sobs were swimming up from her stomach and her chest was going to explode. Everything became dark and then she saw nothing more. All she could hear was the hushing of the dark and the fading cries coming from her mouth and then it stopped. It was silent.

She woke up in the middle of the night screaming and panting heavily. When she realized where she was she sat up in her bed and buried her face in her hands. She began to cry aloud and she couldn't control herself. The room was so dark and she was scared. She was scared to be alone and the shadows on the wall looked like they were coming for her. She jumped out of her bed and ran out of her bedroom and then out into the hall. Everything was dark. The candles were burning low and they gave off an eerie look in the corridor. She didn't know where she was running to and she didn't care. She just needed to get away from it so she ran anywhere her feet led her. She could feel her chest contract violently as she continued to sob within her self and tears blurred her vision. She ran what felt like forever until she found herself in a familiar place. She didn't know she was doing it until she felt her knuckles bang against the wood.

Someone answered the door moments later and she didn't even have time to look at him or her properly because the last thing she remembered was everything in a haze and then she collapsed and fell to the floor.

He was just going to his rooms after a long night of grading papers. It was almost two in the morning and he stood up from his desk. He stacked the papers neatly and then headed towards his rooms. He had just entered through the door when soft knocking came from his office door. Who would be down here at this time of night he thought. He turned around and walked back to the door. He opened it expecting to complain to the knocker when he saw her very pale with red bleary eyes.

He didn't even have time to open his mouth or even think because she collapsed at his feet. What happened to her? He bent down and scooped her up. She was very limp. He carried her over to the sofa and laid her on it. He leaned over and lifted her eyelids. They were glossy and very red. She had obviously had another dream. But what made her come down here?

She was shaking and her head was hot and sweating. He picked up one of her hands and it was ice cold. He conjured a blanket and put it over her and he stared down at her face with a look of curiosity. Why would she come to him in the middle of the night after a dream? He didn't know but he was actually a little glad she was there. He felt it was almost his duty to look after her and that is what he did. He pulled up the chair next to her and sat there. Hesitantly he put one of his hands on her head and then he combed her hair with his fingers. Whatever she was dreaming now he hoped it was peaceful. He didn't want her to be scared anymore… so he stayed by her side, all night.

The sun was beginning to rise and the orange and gold light was creeping up in the darkness. It found its way into the darkest corners and pushed away the night. Nothing was more peaceful then the silence from night brought in the arms of the morning and nothing was more calm and still. Early birds rose from their sleep and chirped their morning songs, which was the only sound far off in the distance.

He couldn't believe he managed to stay awake the entire night as he was so tired from the previous day but watching over her gave him a sense of energy. Every tiny little movement she made in her sleep he studied intensely, every breath she took he watched and every rise and fall of her chest he counted. Something about the way she slept so calmly he admired and he didn't want to miss a moment of it.

As he watched her sleep he studied every detail of her face. It was so much more relaxed and less terrified looking. Her hair fell neatly around her face and lied gently around her shoulders. The softness of her skin was glowing and it looked like she was impossibly perfect. Her eyes were closed so delicately though he could feel the sparkle in them still. The gentle curve of her little nose sat in the middle of the portrait before him and it faded into her mouth. The slight pout in her lips made them look tempting and irresistible and slowly the pink came back to them in the night. They were so blue before that the rose color of them was almost unnatural.

Though every thing about the way she looked didn't compare to the way he felt watching her and listening to the low steady breaths coming from her chest. And yet again he found that she was extraordinarily breathtaking as she slept and it was some sort of phenomenon that he had the opportunity to do so. She was bewitching him with some unspoken magic and it was taking hold of every feeling in his body. Why was this happening?

He didn't know what was wrong with him self lately. Every time he tried to rest his mind from every day thoughts she popped up into his head, especially since Thursday night when they were kissing so passionately. Ever since then he couldn't get her off his mind. She kissed him so openly this time, not confused by the dreariness of sleep, but fully awake and aware of her feelings. Why did she do it? Why did he do it?

He had never really thought of her in that way before. Sure her eyes had trapped him before but not like this time. And then he almost had sex with the girl and she was barely a child. She was a young woman yes, but she was innocent. He didn't need her to tell him, he could see it in her eyes. She was willing to take it further that night but she was scared, she wasn't ready for that. And he wasn't sure if he was right to take it from her.

Did she even care about him that way? He wasn't sure. She seemed very safe with him, she said so her self, but she was also comfortable around him. Not many people were. He knew he was intimidating but she didn't let that empower her, he found that intriguing. She was fascinating actually. She stood up to him so many times but she let her self become hurt by his words. That was partially his fault and he didn't always feel happy about it but she was impossible sometimes. But the more she argued with him the more he grew to like her, appreciate more likely.

But why was he so clouded by her presence and her memory. Why did he lose himself in her kisses? He never found him self attracted to any one in that way and did he find himself like that with her? He was confused but the answer was probably yes. Never had he felt like that before around her, or anyone and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing. Was it? What would he be getting him self into?

This feeling, or feelings are too complicated and he didn't want to be involved in it, but did he? He tried to distance him self from her but she always found a way to wiggle back into his awareness. She didn't even have to do or say anything, she could just sit there or sleep like she was now and he found him self to be completely at loss of rational and logical thoughts. That was very unlike him, who thought and planned everything so carefully. These emotions coming over him were so strange and unfamiliar but he hadn't decided if he didn't like it yet. What was he becoming? This was something he would never forgive him self for. He was having feelings about a student. Was that wrong of him? But she wasn't exactly a student, only partially. He was extremely tangled in a web of thoughts now. He couldn't seem to decide on a decent conclusion.

The room was almost full of light now but it was a soft mellow light, not harsh and direct like the beating of the summer sun. It was so quiet and the only sounds still were that of the birds and her steady breaths. He took out his pocket watch; it was a little after six. When he tucked it away he looked back at her. She was starting to move.

Her head was adjusting slightly to find a more comfortable position and he could see her eyes moving underneath her eyelids. She let a small sigh escape her lips and then her eyes opened groggily. Again, she didn't know where she was or how she got there. He could see comprehension dawning on her face slowly and it took a minute for her to turn her head and see him sitting there.

She didn't speak right away; they stared at each other for a minute before she did. "Why am I down here?" Her voice was very weak.

Severus looked at her for a moment before he answered. "I was hoping you would tell me that. I answered my door in the middle of the night and then found you seconds before you collapsed. I believe you had another dream." He spoke very softly.

"I did have another dream but I don't remember coming down here, or collapsing." She was trying to sit up but she couldn't. She fell back against the pillow and breathed heavily.

"Yes I thought so. It was nearly two in the morning and I had just finished grading papers when I heard a knock at my door. Does anything hurt? You fell very suddenly to a stone floor." He was still speaking very softly. He didn't seem annoyed at all, that was unusual.

"N-no. Nothing hurts, only my chest though." She looked down at her hands twisting the blanket in her fingers. "Did you stay up with me all night?" She asked very innocently.

Slowly he answered in his silkiest voice. "Yes."

She felt a sudden pressure in her chest, not the same pain as before. This was more of a feeling in her heart. She continued to look down at her hands. "I'm so sorry for making you stay awake… I didn't mean to come down here. I don't even remember doing it."

He paused again before he spoke. His brain was working rather slowly today. "It's all right. I'm… glad you came. I feel it is my duty to look after you." He didn't know he was even saying this until after the words slipped away from his tongue.

She began to breathe very heavily. Her chest was heavy and her heart almost felt light. She turned her head slightly and she looked at him with her eyes. A breathless smile stole her lips and very quietly she said, "thanks."

He nodded and she turned her head more to look at him. It was happening again, her eyes were taking over his thoughts. How did they do that? Why couldn't he control him self? She was sitting up though having trouble. He stood and extended his arm for her to grab. She took it and pulled herself up. She felt dizzy after the sudden stand on her feet and she lost her balance slightly. He caught her before she fell over.

She embraced his arms strongly to keep her self still and she found she was looking into his chest. Slowly she raised her chin to look at him and she found he was already looking down at her. When their eyes met she couldn't control her breathing. It became fast and her heart was beating furiously. His arms were wrapped around her from the fall still and he hadn't moved them. She hadn't moved her hands either. She couldn't see anything around her except for the dark glimmering of his eyes.

His face was coming closer to hers and she could hear his heart beat now. One of his hands was pressed against her back and the other he touched her face softly. She raised her hands and grabbed the lapels of his robes and she gripped them firmly. She wanted to be closer to him… and she was. They were so close now their lips were within centimeters of the other.

She stared up into his eyes and he looked back into hers. Neither of them could feel anything except for the beating of their hearts. There was an agreement in each other's eyes and before they could stop it their lips joined again.

It was a feeling beyond anything else. There were no words to describe how perfect it felt. She was losing her self again and she couldn't hold back how she was feeling. He held her tighter as he moved his lips to her neck. Chills shot through her body and she clutched his robes more to hold her self up. She let her head fall back slightly to allow him more access to her neck and she moaned under her breath. She didn't know how this was happening. She never felt so safe in her life as she did in his arms and she never wanted that feeling to leave. It was almost as intense as she felt during her dreams and just as she let happiness travel through out her body a sharp pain cut at her chest.

She contracted into his chest at the sudden surge of pain and she raised her hands to her heart to push away the stabbing. A cry escaped her lips and she felt herself sink to the floor. He pulled away from her neck at her sudden behavior and he caught her in his arms again. Her face was contorted into terror and pain and she started having trouble breathing. She was gasping for air.

"What's wrong?" He demanded of her nervously. He was holding her up like a rag doll.

She was trying to answer between gulps for air. "I - don't - know… it hurts - make it - stop - please." She let out another cry. The pain in her chest was horrible. It felt like knives and electricity hitting her at one time.

He wasn't sure what to do. Should he take her to the hospital wing or should he attempt one of his potions. He had to decide quickly because the pain was increasing in her chest. "Please… make… it stop." She was pleading him as she buried her self against his body.

He summoned a potion from his cabinet and poured it into her mouth quickly. He then put one of his hands firmly against her chest and held it there. Slowly the terror in her face relaxed and she became limp again. He found he was panting him self slightly. What happened? She let her body lean against his and then she wrapped her arms around him and let the oxygen flow back into her mouth. She felt that if she were to let go of him she would die so she clawed her self to him. Never had she felt she needed him so badly.

He had absolutely no idea what that was or what caused it and he didn't know what he should do again. She was clinging to him with her life and he wasn't sure if he should move or stand there and let her rest. Why was she so ill all the time now? And why was she becoming so dependent of him? He didn't know the answers but he could probably guess.

He looked down at her and saw that she pressed her cheek against his chest and her eyes were squeezed shut. She was trying to breathe and gradually normal breaths came back to her. "Are you alright?" He asked very concerned.

"I think so… I don't know what happened. What's going on with me?" She tightened her hold on him.

The pressure around him was tightening but he didn't mind. As long as she felt safe that was all that mattered. "I don't know." He answered honestly. He didn't know what was happening to her. It was very strange. "Can you walk?" He asked her quietly.

She loosened her grip and he guided her over to the sofa, again. She seemed to be there a lot lately. He let her sit there for a few minutes so she could regain her strength. He stood over her, watching for any sign of another attack like she just had.

She hunched over her legs with her hands pressed against her heart. She was breathing deeply and finally she said something. She didn't look at him but she kept her eyes closed. "What's…" How did she say it? "Going on between us?" That would work.

That was not what he was expecting her to say. It caught him off guard and he really didn't know how to answer. What was going on between them? He cared for her but he didn't know if it was anything more then that. He couldn't have a relationship with her, it wasn't acceptable and he certainly did not want to hurt her. Being with her would bring her too much misery and sadness and he did not want that for her. He didn't deserve someone like her. He didn't deserve anyone. She wouldn't want a person like him anyway. But why did they kiss so often lately?

"I don't think any feelings between us is a good thing Miss Wood." The words were painful to admit but he had to say it. She looked up at him slowly and there was more pain in them this time then there was a few minutes ago. She lowered her eyebrows in question and confusion. "What has happened between us should never have happened. I should have expressed more control." It was becoming harder to look her in the eye as they were filling with grief. "We can't be together…" He was having difficulty finishing.

He could see that she was fighting back the tears and emotions trying to free themselves and she tried to hide them by looking away from him. She took a slow deep breath and then she raised her chin in pride. "Fine" she replied very sternly and she stood up. She was biting her lip and she continued past him with out another word. She left the room with a soft thud from the door.

He didn't turn to see her leave; he didn't want to see her go. He cursed him self. Part of him was urging to go after her and the other half was telling him to stay. He clenched his jaw and turned around for the door and when he reached it he stopped. He shouldn't do it. They shouldn't have had those encounters in the first place, it was wrong. He turned away from the door and headed towards his rooms, hating him self the whole way.

When Seda reached the stairs she set off at a run. Thankfully there was no one around to get in her way and she continued all the way up to her rooms. She tore through the doors and flung her self on the bed. She hated her self and she hit the bed with her fists. She was such a fool she was telling her self and then she let her self breathe frantically and heavily into the bed. She wasn't going to cry about it. She was just going to let her self become angry at how foolish she's been acting and she did. She pressed her face into the covers and screamed as loud as she could. Luckily it was muted out by the thickness of the blankets or someone would think she was being murdered.

She hit the bed with her fists a few more times and finally she fell asleep. She slept through breakfast and did not wake until almost eleven o'clock. She was exhausted. Severus didn't appear at breakfast either. They both enclosed themselves in their rooms until they couldn't stand it any longer.

After a quick shower she left her rooms to head for Hogsmeade. She was going to buy Hermione a gift and it also gave her an excuse to get out of the castle. As she descended the last of the steps to the Entrance Hall Snape was just coming up from the dungeons. They crossed paths but she didn't look at him. She kept her head forward and didn't look back until she was well out the doors.

The day reflected her mood perfectly. It was an overcast sky. The sun tried to break through but the cloud coverage was too strong. Small patches of light were hazy and even those seemed weak. Now that autumn was coming ever nearer the wind started to pick up speed. It howled passed her ear and whipped through her hair, pushing her to get by. At last she walked through the gates to Hogsmeade and she paused, wondering where she should start. It was becoming more of a realization that she had no clue what Hermione liked. All she knew was that she was fond of books but which kind. What did she like to read? This was going to be difficult.

She started in a bookshop. She looked around the many shelves running a finger along the spines of the books. There were plenty to choose from but what if she had them already. She picked up a few her self and some seemed rather interesting and some seemed like a bunch of garbage. After nearly a half hour of wandering and reading she chose a book on Ancient Egyptian magic. She had mentioned once that she would like to study there so maybe this would be a start.

After paying she returned out into the street. She walked carelessly, not planning on any place in particular until she stopped in front of another store. It was a store devoted to magical creatures and pets. She saw dozens of owls and other creatures so she just had to go in. When she entered it sounded like a zoo. There were croaks, chirps, growls, hissing, hooting, cawing and almost every other imaginable animal sound. She walked up to a wall that had many varieties of owls. She moved her eyes from owl to owl and all were showing off in her presence except for one. There was a little white and almost golden-feathered owl sitting in its cage, which was back in a corner away from the others. She moved closer to it. It had its head tucked in its wing and it was turned to the side.

"Hello there" she said to it. The owl didn't move. Maybe it was a sleep, but how could it be with all this noise. The storekeeper was coming just around the corner. "Excuse me, but is something wrong with this owl?" She asked the woman. She gestured her hand towards it.

The storekeeper raised her head to see over her and then she looked back at Seda. "That owl there eh? Nope, there's nothing wrong with her. She doesn't like to be around people much. Never looks at anyone. If you are lookin' for an owl I suggest you don't choose that one."

"Oh. Um, thanks." She turned back to the little owl. She just looked lonely. She sighed at it and then she felt her chest tighten and her eyes itch. Great, the cats were getting to her. She looked at the owl one last time. "Good bye golden owl." She tried to sound cheerful and then she left hurriedly.

Her throat was becoming very itchy and dry and her eyes watered horribly. She sat down on the curb and tried to soak in the cool air. Just a few moments and she would be fine. She closed her eyes and let the wind blow on her face, the coolness was refreshing.

"Are you alright?" Came a man's voice. She opened her eyes to see a young man standing in front of her, a very handsome young man.

"Oh, yes I'm fine. I was just resting for a minute." She stood up. They looked at each other for a second. It was an awkward silence. "Um, thanks."

"You're sure you're fine?" He was tall and thin and his hair was dark.

"Yes, really. Thank you for asking though." She smiled at him. He looked familiar.

"If you're sure then. Uh… have a good day." He smiled back and he entered the store with all the animals. She turned her head to see him go in and he looked back at the same time. She felt her self blush slightly and then she turned away.

She continued down the street, looking back every now and then. Who was that? She could have sworn she saw him before. Oh well. She continued her shopping at several other stores and found a few small things to add with the book. When she was satisfied she headed back up to the castle. Maybe she could catch the end of lunch; she was pretty hungry having not eaten breakfast.

She ate lunch with out disturbance. Severus it seemed had already been there so she was not dealt the trouble of ignoring him. After a quick lunch she headed back for her rooms so she could finish some work before she left for the night.

Just before six o'clock she closed all her books and prepared to leave. She gathered up Hermione's gift and the letter she wrote and then she took her leave. She tossed a handful of floo powder into the fireplace and waited for it to turn green. She stepped inside and said clearly "Number 1023 Renaissance Avenue."

Before she could close her eyes she was flying passed fireplaces and turning in midair. The dizzy feeling was coming to her again and just before she thought she couldn't take anymore she stumbled onto a wooden floor. Thankfully she didn't fall but she coughed at the swarm of ashes in her face.

When the ashes cleared away she looked up to see Hermione standing in front of her. "Hello Seda." She said cheerfully. "I'm pleased you could come." She dropped her voice to a whisper. "Are you feeling alright?"

Seda smiled at her before she answered. "I'm fine. Um, this is for you." She handed her the gift and Hermione took it gratefully.

"You didn't have to give me anything, your presence is enough." She beamed at her.

"No, it was nothing but I'm glad to be here anyway." Seda dropped her voice to a whisper too. "Can I talk to you privately… later?" Seda's expression became more serious.

Hermione blinked at her. "Yes, sure. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, somewhat. But I just wanted to get an opinion…" Seda glanced around the room. "But later if you don't mind."

"Yes, not a problem. Um, let me introduce you." She walked across the living room to a counter that separated the kitchen. "You know Ron of course." She gestured at him and he smiled and nodded in return. "And this is his sister, also my friend…" She smiled at the red haired girl. "Ginny. And this is Seda."

"Hello." Seda smiled at the new face and she answered back.

"It's nice to finally meet you. Hermione talks about you constantly. I hope you're enjoying your stay at Hogwarts so far."

"It's nice to meet you too. Hogwarts is wonderful so far, thanks."

Hermione spoke again. "Well, Harry should be here soon. I suppose we can all have a drink or something until he arrives, then we can leave." Hermione flicked her wand and glasses of some kind of smoking drink appeared on the counter. They each took one.

Ginny spoke up after taking a sip. "Where's Madison? I haven't seen her in so long."

"Oh, she's staying with your parents for the night actually." Ginny nodded her head.

It was silent for another moment until Seda decided to say something. "So, where are we-" Her words were cut off at the sudden roaring of the fireplace. They all turned to see a pair of legs walking out of the fireplace. The upper half was still clouded by the ashes and she couldn't see the owners face.

"Hey Harry." Ron called across the room. The ashes thinned and she could see him now. He was tall, thin and he had dark hair. He was handsome too. It was the young man from Hogsmeade who asked her if she was ok. She felt her face blush and she turned away to hide it. That was Harry Potter earlier. She knew he looked familiar. She had seen a picture of him in a book about Voldemort.

She turned back to greet him. He was walked up to them all and said hello to each of them and then his eyes stopped on her. They were an amazing green. His eyebrows lowered.

"Harry, this is Seda. Seda this is Harry." Hermione looked between them.

He raised his brows back to normal and he smiled. "We've met, but it's good to see you again." He extended his hand.

Seda tried to smile but it was weak. She also extended her hand and he gripped it. It was very firm but gentle. "And you." She said back.

Everyone else except for Harry and Seda looked puzzled. They smiled at each other while the others looked at one another in question. He had a very nice smile she thought and her own smile brightened. She was glad she decided to come tonight.


	23. Birthday Chats

__

I'M BACK! Today is my BIRTHDAY! Yay! It feels great to be home again and to start writing once more. I apologize for the huge gap between the previous chapter and this new one but I was out of town for two weeks and then I had a wedding, then work and other things. Time is very limited, which I'm sure everyone can understand.

Anyway, I get the feeling that readers are thinking that a relationship may develop between a certain American witch and the Boy Who Lived. Well, just to put you at ease right now nothing will happen between them… yes, yes I hear the sighs now. I wrote the story intentionally about Seda and Severus… Harry is adding a little drama. Ha, doesn't he always. Anyway, I'm NOT writing a love triangle here so don't worry about that. And NO, Seda will not fall in love with Harry. If that were the case then I obviously wouldn't be writing about Snapey as my main character now would I? Well, just wanted to clear that up. I'm too much in love with this story to pull something like that, well more rather Snape. Evil grin All right, take care everyone. Toodles!

"You've met? When?" Hermione looked between Seda and Harry confused.

Seda opened her mouth to speak but Harry answered first. "Today, in Hogsmeade. She was sitting on a curb and I asked if she was all right."

"Yes, I was looking at some owls and the cats got to me so I sat down for a moment. Then he asked if I was ok." She looked back at Hermione.

Ron gave a slight chuckle. "Small world isn't it?"

"Yes." Harry and Seda answered at the same time. They glanced at each other and when they saw the others eye they turned away.

Hermione looked at them both for another moment and then she smiled. "Shall we go then?" Everyone nodded in agreement.

Hermione led the way to the front door and everyone followed. Seda caught up to her as they stepped out side. "Where are we going?"

"Oh, there's this really neat bar just down the street. I thought it would be nice if we could all just sit around or something and have a drink. Ron and I go there occasionally."

Seda nodded and looked up into the night sky. The stars were trying to twinkle from behind the blanket of clouds giving the dimly lit street a mystical feeling. The elegant drift of the careless clouds occupied Seda's concentration for several moments until a voice came hovering across her ear.

"Hermione told me that this is your first year at Hogwarts."

Seda turned to look at Harry who was now walking at her side. His hands were inside his front jean pockets and his wand was sticking out of one in the back. She dropped her gaze to him, startled slightly.

"Oh, yes. I just started this year. I suppose it's rather late but better then never." After a small pause she continued for she noticed he seemed a bit confused. "You see, I was adopted by muggle parents and I only just discovered I was witch this summer. Well, actually, Professor Snape discovered me."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Snape?" Hermione had not given him this information so he was eager to hear more. He glanced up at Hermione but she was discussing Madison with Ginny and Ron.

"Yes, he was my chemistry professor over the summer and he escorted me here from America. Believe me, I was just as confused as you are…" She smiled slightly "but I've grown used to living here. Actually, I feel more at home then I ever did in my life. It's strange… but I think this is for the best."

"That's very interesting. I was wondering why Dumbledore was sending old Snape to the states, that explains it I guess… you." They both gave a small laugh. "So, how do you like it so far? Er, Hogwarts I mean." He gave a weak smile.

"Hogwarts is wonderful. It's nothing I could have ever imagined. The classes are all really great and I am thoroughly enjoying every minute of it." She sighed. "There's a lot of work but it will pay off." She looked down at her feet. "And…" She wanted to mention how much of a burden it was to have some one like Snape on her mind constantly, always distracting her, but she thought it best not to let her self start thinking about him again.

"And what?" Harry encouraged her to go on.

She had forgotten that she trailed off in mid sentence. "And… nothing. Never mind." She felt a little dumb at cutting of like that, but matters between her and the potions master were strictly between him and her.

Harry had realized that she obviously wanted not to finish what she was about to say so he thought it wise not to pressure her into saying it. He had enough bad experience in that area. He tried to bring up something else as they continued walking down the street. "Hermione has also told me that she is assisting you in an experiment, along with Snape."

Seda looked up at him rather quickly. "Did she?" She hoped she didn't tell him about the dreams she's been having. He might think she was a fool or something and that is not how she wanted to appear on her first impression. She didn't want him to think she was completely mad or crazy or utterly ridiculous. "What did she say?" She didn't want to sound rude either at questioning him like that.

Harry shrugged. "Only that she started a project alongside Snape and that it involved you. She didn't say anything else." There was a silence where neither knew what to say then he quickly added, "She's always been fond of experiments, so I expect she was just excited about it." He hoped that would break the silence and she might say anything instead of looking at him. He didn't mind her stare though her eyes were amazing.

She took a breath and then she replied, "That's alright. It's just a Sleep Aid, nothing really important." She turned her head back to the path in front of her. She didn't really want to announce what kind of dreams she was having to someone she had just met in the past twelve hours and let alone 'The Boy Who Lived'. That would be a bit embarrassing.

"Here we are." Hermione said as they turned a corner. They were just outside an old brick building that looked like it had been there for hundreds of years. A creaky wooden sign was swinging in the breeze labeled "Whistle Stop" in engraved letters.

"Hermy, I haven't been here in years. Good choice." Harry looked gleefully at the pub.

Ron opened the door and they all stepped inside. The view inside was in total contrast to the one outside. It looked fairly new but it had those old, warm rustic accents to it that made it seem rich in long cultured history. Yet it wasn't mellow and gloomy like other wizarding bars she had been in. She could see why Hermione visited it often.

A tall, middle-aged witch approached them with a quill and note pad in her hands. "How many?" Ron said "Five" and then the witch led them to a small round table near a fireplace in the back.

The remaining contents of his drink were being swirled around the bottom of a glass. He stared into the liquid, while restraining himself from throwing the glass across the room, and then downed the last of it. He could hardly taste the bitterness of it anymore as it burned its way down his throat. He didn't particularly prefer Cognac but it was all that was available at the moment and he needed something, anything to escape his thoughts. Actually he didn't prefer resorting to the drink at all, but certain situations required standards not of the ordinary.

He pressed his mouth against the sleeve of his black robes hoping it would settle the burning in his stomach and his mouth. Having not eaten all day and then drinking was probably not the smartest idea Severus ever had but at times he supposed he was allowed to not think as clearly as he normally would have, which was almost never.

He was not one to lose his head in times when it required a great deal of thinking, in fact he never lived a moment with out thinking through all scenarios and situations in a logical way and concluding the outcome before the situation ever happened. It was just the way his brain worked; always questioning and calculating and it made him feel at ease when he could work out problems before they came too complicated.

But lately the way he has been thinking, or lack of proper thinking more likely, has begun to make him slightly concerned and agitated. He didn't like the way he didn't sort through each detail over and over again as he always did and he most certainly didn't like his lack of concentration at times. Occasionally, when he was grading papers or brewing potions or patrolling the corridors in the dead of night, he would find himself losing track of time and space because his mind would drift off somewhere else. And it would take him awhile to realize that his thoughts were wandering carelessly some place else without his consent and when the subject of all the distraction dawned on him he would find himself even more distracted.

What was he coming to? Surely he was not getting that old as Dumbledore was almost five times as old as him and he was not going senile. He decided that whatever it was that was making him this way he would just have to push out of his thoughts. It seemed a logical explanation and settlement after all he has been pondering about and therefore the only choice he had.

He stood up, slightly dizzy, and walked over to his fireplace. He rested his hands upon the mantle and stared into the flames dancing wildly across the logs. It captured him for moment and then it reminded him of something. He remembered when he had found her dancing freely and carelessly like a spirit of fire, how happy she seemed and how entranced he was as she floated gracefully around the room. He also remembered how she would look at him, with those eyes especially and he would find it hard to speak, and then she would smile. A smile she would bestow upon him so willingly as though inviting him to share her happiness for whatever she was feeling at that moment. So innocently she would look at him in question and in wonder and even if she didn't speak he could hear her voice clearly in his head.

He realized again that he was losing himself in thoughts. This is what was causing him to act so unlike him self, to think effortlessly… it was she. She was doing this to him, though she probably knew no more then he that she was doing it. That's why this morning he had to put an end to what ever was happening. She was starting to depend on him more, to look at him less innocently and he couldn't handle this. He couldn't allow it and whatever happened before, as he told her, should never have happened.

He didn't like the way she looked at him when she left though. He expected she would have been confused, possibly, but surely she would have understood. In fact he didn't understand why she was the way she was. Nothing was going on between them, and even if there was the slightest flicker of a chance that something happened he thought she would realize it was inappropriate too.

But then he remembered those times they shared a kiss… it felt, what was the word, right perhaps… but it was wrong. It was wrong and he knew it, she should know it too. He was angry with himself for letting his thoughts be swept away by the faintest smile or glimmer in her eyes that would end up in a kiss. Though he could barely help what was happening at those moments he should have been more disciplined, with himself. He couldn't really blame her for the way she was. She was young, innocent and new to this other world before her and she knew nothing about the way he was, but at times she seemed to understand him and accept him more then anyone else did.

He couldn't exactly say this was all her fault because she was willing to express her feelings, whatever those are, to him so openly… but that was foolish. He couldn't tolerate that. The fact that she was openly laying her heart in his hands, with out his approval, actually irritated him. Never before has anyone done this or given him these strange feelings and it made him angry that he could not have put an end to it earlier.

He sighed slightly as he continued to watch the flickering flames and then he closed his eyes in concentration, or rather in deep thought. Why? Why was she giving him this burden? Why was she opening up these new areas of thoughts and feelings that he did not want? Why? That was about all he could do right now… ask why.

His thoughts were once again interrupted. This time by the sudden roar in the fireplace. He opened his eyes and immediately stepped to the side to make way for the intruder. Actually it was more like an intrusion on his thoughts. Could he ever have a moment to think things through properly with out other distractions… probably and most likely not.

As the figure came twirling out of the fire and heaps of ash settled to the floor Severus at once nodded his head and greeted this intruder. "Good evening Headmaster."

"Ah, Severus. I thought I would find you here." He had that same mischievous look in his eyes that meant Severus was in for another life lesson, advice or a mission. He was not looking forward to any of them, but he was stuck all the same. Dumbledore always knew everything and there was no getting around it.

"Is there something you require Headmaster?" Severus asked with his head slightly inclined.

Dumbledore walked a few steps towards the desk then answered. "Oh, just a chat Severus." This could mean nothing good thought Severus as he sighed inside himself. "I was going to ask about the project you and Mrs. Weasley were working on…" he turned to look at Severus over his glasses "involving our American friend." Dumbledore let his gaze linger on Severus for a few moments more before he turned to walk further into the room. Severus narrowed his eyes. "As you seem to have been absent during meals today I did not have the chance to ask. So, naturally, I assumed I would find you here. I can see I was successful." He glanced over at the potions master and gave a wry little smile barely visible behind his magnificent white beard.

Severus looked up at the ceiling for a moment, resisting the urge to roll his eyes, then continued in his pursuit to endure this chat more likely to become a rant on moral advice from the headmaster. "What is it you wanted to know Headmaster?"

"I was just curious as to how you are all…" Dumbledore looked back at Severus "progressing." He said in his soft misty voice.

Severus narrowed his eyes a bit more before he answered, clearly trying to make out what Dumbledore had meant by that look in his eyes. Why was he so damned mysterious? "The project seemed to have the usual effects but…" He paused as he looked at the couch where she had slept through the night, twice, after one of those dreams. Should he mention how strongly the dreams were taking over her? He stared for another moment at the sofa almost seeing her laying there curled into a shaking, frightened ball, pale as death. He looked back at Dumbledore, whom he knew was studying him closely. "The aftermath seems to effect her rather strongly. With every dream the emotions involved become more intense, which of course was predicted, but her physical and mental health seem to drop dramatically."

Dumbledore nodded. "Naturally. These dreams that Seda is having are not your normal nightmares, as I'm confident you have concluded, and her behavior is quite normal. All though…" He walked towards the sofa Severus was staring at before. "…It could be possible that there is a warning hidden amongst them and that could also contribute to her stability after a particularly strong dream. I would not take these warnings lightly…" He once again turned to look at Severus, though seriously. "… Failure to recognize what she needs most could damage her severely." He stared at him with much concern flashing in his eyes.

Severus didn't exactly understand what he meant by that. "Warnings? Failure to recognize the warnings you mean." Severus was assuming that was what he meant. "Miss Wood had mentioned to me before that she thought they may be a warning… about what though, Headmaster?" He sounded not very sure of himself, which was unusual.

Dumbledore continued to survey him over his glasses and then a small smile crept upon his mouth. "I thought that was the meaning behind the Sleep Aid, Severus." He allowed his smile to broaden slightly and then he walked towards the desk.

Severus narrowed his eyes even further and bit his tongue to refrain himself from saying anything unpleasant. He let his eyes wander around the room so he didn't have to look the Headmaster in the eye but eventually they were drawn back. Dumbledore was now sitting in a chair across from Snape's. "Would you care for a drink?" Severus asked as he moved to his own chair.

"Ah, yes. Thank you." Dumbledore looked as if he were sitting down with someone he had not seen in years and was about to catch up on a long absence of chatting. Severus poured him a drink of the same he had been forcing down earlier and handed it to the eagerly waiting Headmaster.

After he sat down too he watched Dumbledore for a moment then turned his head to look elsewhere. He was preparing himself for what he knew was coming… advice of some sort in a hidden message. Dumbledore could never just say things directly. He always had to cover it up with a bunch of nonsense to make his point, which was annoyingly always correct.

Dumbledore had not yet said anything and Severus could not stand the wait any further so he took matters into his own hands. "Is there something else you wanted to discuss?" He said still staring at the marble floors.

"I see that Seda has found company in Hermione, or I should say Mrs. Weasley. I believe she is out at this very moment celebrating Mrs. Weasley's birthday for the night." Dumbledore paused and then added, "I'm happy to see a bond forming between those two, it will be good for both of them, especially Seda." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

Now what was he going to make a point of? Severus had not a care for the friendship between Hermione and Seda and the subject had nothing of significance to him. They had found a friend in the other, so what. Why should that interest him? Snape continued to stare at the floor, not bothering to respond.

"Mr. Potter is among them as well." Snape's eyes snapped up towards the Headmaster. Dumbledore had a mere look up triumph in his eyes. Still, Snape said nothing. For a few minutes neither of them spoke until Dumbledore decided to press the subject of Seda further. "She seems to be learning rather quickly. Extraordinary, wouldn't you say Severus? Already, in a few short weeks she is advancing rapidly."

"She is… yes, I suppose." He couldn't seem to put the right words together. He cleared his throat ever so slightly and then poured himself another drink and took a quick sip. "She seems to be skilled in Potions… she successfully brewed the Draught of Peace." He stared into the fire as he rested the glass on his leg. His tone was somewhat hollow.

"That's a highly advanced potion Severus. She managed it this early? That's remarkable, wouldn't you think?" Dumbledore sounded thoroughly amused at this but Snape had the feeling he already knew about that.

"Yes… I was actually somewhat surprised myself. All though… she seems to be intelligent so reading instructions out of a book shouldn't be that difficult, even if she was new to the subject."

Well, Severus thought, it's true. Reading out of a book isn't that complicated. Anyone could have managed it really, if they had the patience. Dumbledore took a moment to reply. "Ah, I thought you might say that. No matter, Severus, I'm sure you'll realize in time. Thank you for the drink." He stood up and Snape stared at him with confusion written all over his face.

"What do you mean by that Headmaster?" Must he always give advice but never bother to explain what the hell it was for and regarding to what?

"I mean what I said…" He looked at Severus seriously. "Thank you for the drink, Severus." With a last twinkle in his eye he walked over to the fireplace. Just as the flames roared green he looked up at a very irritated Snape and said, "And time is limited. Good night." He was gone.

Severus stared at the empty grate as he gripped his wand tightly in frustration. He knew it, Dumbledore never failed to give mysterious meanings about other peoples lives. Damn him, he thought and he glided out of the room and out onto the grounds. He needed air.

"Oh, Seda, this is wonderful! It's absolutely perfect. How did you know I wanted this so badly?" Hermione was beaming as she ran her hands over her new book.

"I remember you mentioning your interest in Ancient Egyptians so I kind of just figured you would like it. I'm happy to see that you do." Seda was beaming herself at having picked out such a marvelous find. Hermione gave her a very warm embrace and as she did she whispered in Seda's ear "Did you still want to talk to me about something?"

She had almost forgotten that she needed to talk to Hermione. It was such a thrilling evening that she lost track. As they sat on her sofa, hours after many drinks and laughs, she began to choose her words. She glanced around; Ron, Harry and Ginny were all in deep conversation about the upcoming Quidditch finals against Romania.

She dropped her voice and looked seriously at Hermione. "I wanted your opinion before I made a decision… but you can't say anything to anyone."

Hermione began to look more serious herself. "Sure. What is it? Is it to do with the dreams?"

"Um… yes, somewhat. It's… I think something is going on… well I'm not sure." Words were very difficult to come by at the moment and mostly difficult in putting them together correctly. She looked desperately at the birthday girl in front of her. "I don't know how to say it." She glanced back towards the group in the kitchen and her eyes lingered on Harry for a moment.

Hermione followed Seda's eyes and spoke hesitantly. "Is it… about Harry?"

Seda was immediately brought back to attention. She looked directly at Hermione with a misunderstood expression. "What? No… it's not Harry. It's… someone else." She bit her lip as she looked out the window. Somewhere, he was out there going about his life with no concern for this matter what so ever.

"Is it Snape?" Hermione spoke hardly above a whisper. When Seda didn't answer or look back at her, Hermione thought she had hit the jackpot. She sighed then continued. "I had a feeling that might come up."

Seda finally looked at her, confused and frowning. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I've noticed some things."

"What things?" Seda demanded. She was very interested in what Hermione was noticing.

"Oh, just… stuff like… well, I'm not quite sure if I'm right but…" She was feeling a bit awkward at Seda's narrowed eyes and lowered eyebrows. "Ok, well it just seems like he can never stop looking at you… I think."

"What?" She yelped. Ron, Harry and Ginny all stopped mid conversation to look over. Seda smiled and then they went back to their discussion. Seda lowered her voice to a whisper. "No he doesn't. He never… that's crazy… what exactly do you mean?" She sounded outraged.

"I'm just saying what I saw. And plus, he's different… around you." Hermione didn't seem surprised at all by Seda's reaction. She was expecting it.

"But… you've only been around us once and… wait. What do you mean he's different? What did you see anyway?" Thoughts were now erupting all over her brain. Did Hermione notice these things in Seda too?

Hermione smiled at her. "Once is sometimes more then enough Seda." Seda didn't know what she meant by that. "Besides, I've known him longer then you have… and I don't know if it was just that I'm not young and naïve anymore but there was a slight change in him. He is what you wanted to talk about isn't it?"

"Yes but… there is something else too." How was she going to say this? "I… we…" It was supposed to be private though.

Hermione's smile faded and she looked serious once more. "Did you kiss?" She said this very slowly, weighing every word.

All Seda could do was look at her for a moment then close her eyes and bury her face in her hands. "Oh, Seda… you didn't." Hermione said breathlessly and very concerned.

"I don't know what happened, honestly. It just… happened, I couldn't stop myself. I don't know what's going on either. I'm really confused." Her face was still buried in her hands.

Neither of them spoke for a minute. Then softly Hermione said, "Let's go for a walk."


	24. When the Rain Falls

Sorry it's taken me so long to update, things are hectic. Thank you all for having such patience, I cannot tell you how grateful I am. Anyway, the story is turning to that point where it's becoming difficult to write because there is so much I need to write but it's hard to write… know what I mean? Yes well… I knew it would happen sooner or later so all I can do is plow through it patiently. I don't want to just blot it all down, I want the right words to be expressed and sometimes that takes awhile. Anyway, I'm working on it religiously though. No matter where I am this story is in my head constantly, coming up with new ideas. Ok, let's just get to the story. Toodles!

The night air was refreshing against her burning face as the approaching autumn wind whipped across the street. The clouds were still hovering above them with threats of rain etched into the seams, ready to burst. They walked in silence for several minutes until they were strolling across a preserve around the corner from Hermione's street. It seemed much darker with the absence of lampposts and beads of light from windows. Now they were at the side of enormous mountains and under a canopy of relentless clouds. It was eerie but mesmerizing. She didn't know where they were walking to but she didn't really care. Anyway of escaping the madness of her thoughts would be good enough, even if she didn't know where that was. She sighed.

"So…" Hermione spoke quietly, trying to continue their previous conversation. "What happened… erm… between you and - and… him?" She sounded somewhat hesitant.

"Well…" Seda had to think about it for a moment. What happened… and when and where? Now she remembered. "Well, um…the first time it -"

"The first time?" Hermione interrupted sounding shocked. "You mean this happened more then once?" She stared at Seda with wide eyes and she had the air of holding back much more. Seda gave her a pitiful look but lowered her eyebrows. Hermione got the hint and let her continue. "Sorry, go on."

"The first time we… you know… kissed was after an argument. It was really sudden and unexpected and…" She stopped this time. As hard as this was to relive and spill out, Hermione was not making it much easier. Hermione gave the slightest impatient snort and a small smile was creeping at her lips. "What?" Seda demanded.

"Nothing. Well, that's usually how it happens. What kind of argument?"

Seda lowered her eyebrows again and went on. "I don't remember exactly but all I know is that it ended up the opposite of what it started it out to be." Seda began to explain the argument that started it all and how he was waiting at her rooms to deliver her books and then how the yelling began which led to her discovery of him being the ex Death Eater and then what came of that. "Then I was just standing in front of him and he was holding me by my arms and wouldn't let go. And then we stared at each other for a while and…" Seda gave a heavy sigh. "Then we kissed. I don't know how it happened. One minute we were yelling and the next we were kissing and…" She stopped and looked up into the sky. "You don't know how good it feels to finally tell someone this." When she looked back Hermione was staring at her with half a smile and half a frown.

"Did anything else… happen?" She sounded very cautious of her words.

"No, but…" Seda bit her lip. "Almost." She couldn't stand to look at Hermione anymore so she looked back at the mountains. Even they seemed to be looking down at her with eyes of stone and unmerciful thoughts. Distant rumbles were traveling in the distance. They had walked a long way and she could tell she was just on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. She could see the tiny village in the distance. Its lights were like dew drops in the early morning. Again they walked in silence for several minutes that seemed like hours.

"You had another… interaction with him didn't you?" Hermione said after noticing Seda's awkwardness.

"Yes." She answered truthfully. "Yesterday morning. I had another dream the night before and I guess I went to his office unknowingly in the middle of the night seeking… something. I don't remember going there though. I woke up on the couch the next morning and he was sitting there. He explained that I had come down there in the middle of the night and collapsed. Then we ended up kissing again, I had some sort of attack and then we parted. Not on good terms though." She said everything in complete honesty. There was no need to hide it from her; she would figure it out anyway.

"An attack?" She looked puzzled. "I suppose it was the aftermath of the dream. They are going to intensify… but what do you mean you parted on bad terms?"

"Well, I asked him what was happening between us and then he stated that whatever happened was a mistake and he should have expressed more control. Then he said any thing between us is wrong and it should never happen again. So I said fine and left."

Another rumble echoed in the distance. "Well, honestly, he's right in a way but…" Seda whipped her head around and fixed her eyes narrowly on Hermione. "He's not exactly your professor because you aren't really a student, well I mean you are, but you aren't a minor and I just wonder what he is… maybe, but I'm not certain. This is extremely unusual… yet it's about time, I've never really seen…" She sighed.

Seda's accusatory stare fell into confusion. "If you are wondering Hermione, I have no idea what any of that meant. What did you mean to say exactly?" She stopped and placed her hands on her hips. She had made absolutely no sense.

Hermione stopped too and faced her. She gave a small frown but something in her eyes was flashing. "What I was trying to say was I've never ever seen him like this before. Most likely because I've always viewed him through students eyes but now that he's not my teacher anymore I've noticed a change in him. I know he seems cruel, insensitive and misunderstanding but there is another side to him that I've begun to see." She looked back at Seda with complete sincerity. She spoke again but very slowly and eagerly. "Seda, I think… you like him. I mean do you have feelings for him?" She looked like she was waiting for an explosion to set off.

Seda was actually taken by surprise. She really hadn't expected to be asked that because actually she didn't know. Did she like him? She really had no idea. It wasn't just like admitting she had a simple crush like foolish young girls so often giggled about, it wasn't like that. She had admired him, yes, because he was intelligent and sophisticated. She had never thought about it more then that. But he did have wonderfully haunting eyes and a soothing voice and his demeanor was so mysterious, she liked that too. But there was also the fact that he sometimes criticized her as being a silly little girl and he often treated her with little respect as an equal in human intelligence… it made her furious, yes, but it also sparked something inside her.

Hermione seemed to be reading the change in expressions on her face because she looked rather amused as if she were watching a movie. Seda came back to her senses and looked more confused then ever. "I - I don't know. I don't think I have feelings towards him. Well, it's like he said, it shouldn't have happened. So I suppose I will just have to forget about it."

"Oh Seda, that's not what I -" Seda cut her off. "It's the easiest and most logical thing to do Hermione. It could never work out and, besides, he doesn't see me that way. So it would probably be best for me to forget everything and pretend it never happened." A roll of thunder clapped almost directly over them. A Storm was setting in and it would soon be just about ready to burst. Lightening was playing in the distance over Hogsmeade.

Seda looked out at it and Hermione rested a hand on her shoulder. "Seda, that doesn't mean… he doesn't share the same feelings. He's probably just as lost as you in his thoughts and worries. He's never been one to express him self openly and I'm afraid he probably never will. It's just his nature."

A flash of light lit up the black night and in return a roll of thunder answered back. "Well, I think it was all a mistake too so you don't have to worry about it. It's completely ridiculous anyway. I'm here to learn about becoming a qualified witch not to sit in my room and wonder what the Potions Master is thinking about." She turned her head back to Hermione. "The less I think about him or the whole situation the better it will be. I was just being silly, honestly. What ever happened didn't mean anything."

Hermione was at a loss for words. She stared at Seda with a blank expression and slowly disappointment crept back to her face. "Do you really mean that?" She said as she let her hand fall from Seda's shoulder. With every flash of light Hermione could see the look in her eyes. It was like a glaze had come over them. Her bright blue eyes were melting away into something much deeper and they were soon glittering with the highlights of moonbeams and wateriness. They became hard and cool like glass and then she blinked and looked away. Chills were running down Seda's body and she couldn't help the burning in her throat. She swallowed very dryly and then spoke back in a distant voice. "I should probably be getting back, it's going to start raining any minute. Thanks for inviting me tonight, I really enjoyed it."

"Of course, anytime. Thank you for coming. Why don't you come back to my place? You can stay over if you want."

"No, I should really get back. I have a lot of work still and…" She couldn't think of anything else she had to do so she just looked back and smiled.

"Well, alright. You can at least take floo powder back then." She tried to return the same simple smile.

"I'm going to walk back, but thanks anyway."

"Oh, but it's going to rain. You'll be soaked. Are you sure, you can leave from my house."

"No really, I like walking in the rain. I used to do it all the time at home. It helps me think."

"Well, do you want me to come with you? I can apparate back after I walk you to Hogsmeade." Another clap of thunder and lightening chased each other in the sky.

"No, no. It's ok, honestly. Everyone else will be wondering where you are. I just need to clear my head, that's all. Thanks again for the night out and… for the talk." She smiled sincerely this time.

"If you are absolutely positive, ok then. We should do this again sometime it was great. I don't suppose just hanging out when you are in the middle of the dream counts."

They both laughed. "No, I don't think it does. Actually, my birthday is on the seventh of October so we should plan something for then. I suppose we should get back to each other about the project though. Well, why don't you just send me an owl when you have some free time."

"You have a birthday coming up too? That's great. Yeah, I'll get back to you about both as soon as I can. You're sure you don't want me to walk with you?"

Seda nodded. "Ok then, thanks again for coming and for the book. I'll start reading it tonight, I can't wait."

"Ok. Well, bye. Talk to you soon." They both gave each other a smile and a wave then Seda turned towards the distant village of Hogsmeade and walked on as the thunder rolled in the night.

She strolled down the nearly empty streets of Hogsmeade all the while thinking about her talk with Hermione. The atmosphere in the village was completely different at night. During the day it was packed with visitors bustling along with their shopping lists and now it was nearly deserted. Only a few inhabitants roamed the streets heading home or to a local pub and several nodded at her as she passed. She hardly noticed as she was so caught up in her thoughts that she was only brought back to reality when something cold hit her face and a loud roar vibrated through the town.

She looked up and received a face full of pouring rain. It was amazing she thought as she stood still looking up into the night. The raindrops were like curtains falling all around her and she extended her arm as far as it would go above her and let her hand caress the water as it bolted down upon it. A flash of lightening made her jump slightly so she continued toward the gates into Hogwarts.

All around her people were running to find shelter from the storm but she casually walked as if it were a mid summers night and had nothing better to do. Some of the villagers stared at her as she strolled pass but she smiled at them and nodded. There was nothing like being caught in a wonderful storm to clear your mind.

Just as she passed through the gates into Hogwarts she was completely drenched. She had no intention of hurrying on her way to the castle but actually planned to take as long as she pleased. Something about rain and thunderstorms always fascinated her, even when she was young. She remembered how she would sometimes sit by her window watching the storm outside and wishing she could be out there in it. When she was older she would sometimes escape whatever she was doing just so she could walk in the rain, especially at night. The way the clouds drifted over the stars and the moon leaving nothing but reflections of light in the raindrops and how all other sounds seemed to have been lost except for the pure integrity of the storm was energizing and relaxing, just like it was now.

She took her time walking up the path and when she got half way she paused. She stood entranced by the beauty of the castle illuminated in the stormy night and thought how nice it would have been to have grown up there. She wished that she could have gone to Hogwarts when she was eleven, like she was supposed too, but as long as she at least got to experience it now was better then nothing. She turned her head away from the enchanted castle and peered out towards the lake. Without even hesitating she let her feet lead her towards the shore. The grass was now like a marsh with all the water sloshing beneath her feet. With every step she could hear the squishing of the mud and the sensation of the gooiness was a little bit tantalizing.

As she reached the tall tree near the edge of the lake she noticed how intimidating it looked against the black sky. The way every flash of light lit up the branches caused it to look like every thing you were afraid of when you were little. It was like dozens of unknown monsters waiting to attack or mysterious strangers creeping up behind her. Whatever the tree decided to look like amused her. She smiled to herself then headed closer to the shore. She stopped with her feet barely a half a foot from the water and stared out into the black oblivion.

It was similar to how it felt in her dreams, standing near the edge of the lake. She gazed into the night and envisioned the figure floating there, softly calling her to it, its delicate voice and movements guiding her closer. She desired to get to it so much that she could almost hear it now, a lone voice somewhere calling her. It was funny she thought because it sounded so real, so close, so…

Severus had been outside for barely five minutes when the rain started to fall. "Damn" He said aloud. His intended evening walk was spoiled by the storm and now he had to go back down to his cold dungeons and clear his mind there or patrol the corridors. Perhaps if he were lucky he would catch troublemakers in their pursuits of mischief. That sounded suitable enough so he turned to walk back up to the castle after placing a shielding charm around himself.

He took a few steps then paused. Something was moving on the path near the gates. A faint little figure was gliding in the rain. He turned to get a better look and noticed that it was moving closer. It was a person, though he couldn't make out whom. Whoever it was had also paused and was clearly looking right at him. He squinted through the rain and then it moved. It changed direction and headed towards the lake. He hesitated and then followed from a distance.

He glided through the slushy muddy grass using all his effort not to slip on the slickness. Gravity was against him so he had to compose himself. He edged closer to the tall tree students used for shade in the summer months to get away from the sun. The person had also paused again and was staring up at something unknown. He stopped himself for he did not want the sound of sloshing footsteps heard and to warn the intruder of his whereabouts. When the person moved away and towards the lake he noticed it was a girl. He followed.

She had stopped at the edge of the lake and he continued to move closer, hoping the raging storm would dominate all sounds and he would be undetected. He moved slowly and as he came within fifty feet he noticed the all familiar frame and hair of the stranger. It was Seda and what on earth was she doing out here at this time in the middle of a storm? He had absolutely no idea and soon he would find out.

He walked closer and called out her name. She didn't move. He called her name again and she still made no signs of comprehension. He was now within five feet when he lit his wand and called her again. Finally she snapped her head to see behind her and the look of complete dumbfound ness and shock took over her face. She was completely wet to the bone. It looked like she had been walking under the water rather then just through it. She stared at him with wide eyes and she obviously had not been expecting him, or anyone for that matter, to be standing there. She merely looked at him and when he crossed his arms she completely turned to face him.

"So, enjoying yourself? Or are you unaware that it is pouring?" When she didn't answer he lowered his eyebrows and took a step closer. She looked somewhat frightened. "Well?" He demanded.

"I - I was just… walking." Her eyes sparkled even in the rain. Her hair was plastered to her face being so wet and her clothes clung to her like skin revealing curves all over her body. It was hard for him not to notice these things even if he forced himself not to.

"Clearly." He replied a moment later. "And why are you walking in the rain? You do know what time it is don't you?"

"Because I…" She stopped. It was strange how that only a little while ago she was just confessing to Hermione what was bothering her and here was the source standing in front of her, demanding answers and explanations as usual. She was about to say she had walked home from Hermione's and that she simply got caught in the storm, not that she minded, and she was on her way back to the castle, but then she changed her mind. "Why do you care if I was walking in the rain? It makes no difference on your behalf. And if you haven't noticed," She mocked him and crossed her arms. "You are walking in the rain too." That seemed satisfactory enough for her. A flash of lightening lit up the sky.

He stared at her clearly taking in what she had just said. "I don't have time to stand here in the rain and argue with you about my personal doings."

"I wasn't arguing, I was merely pointing out a fact. Or am I not entitled to express the truth because I'm simply a silly little girl?" It was funny because usually by this time she would be furious with him but she actually enjoyed tossing out the sly remarks.

They eyed each other for several moments sizing themselves up. It was a very strange scene indeed. They were both standing in the pouring rain having a go at each other but neither of them seemed to notice how wet they were or the fact that they weren't yelling but thoroughly enjoying the accusations.

"I never said you were not entitled to speaking the truth and I haven't called you a silly girl once during this whole conversation." He seemed to be pleased with his answer.

Seda gave the slightest smirk, something he normally did. "I didn't know this was a conversation. I thought you were here to interrogate me about walking in the rain and being out late. I must have missed something then." The thunder was becoming louder. This time it made the ground move and, if it was possible, the rain was pouring harder.

He was beginning to show signs of defeat. She really wasn't backing down this time and he didn't like that he wasn't in control. He had to do something about this. Frustration was flashing in his eyes. The more she looked at him the more eager she became and the more uncomfortable he felt. He was supposed to be the one dominating here, not her. "If you have nothing better to do then contradict everything I say then we have no further business standing in the rain like a pair of croaking toads. I'm going in. Good night Miss Wood." He made a movement as if he was starting to turn but he halted. Obviously he had expected her to obey as if that were an order for her to follow but she turned her back to him and started walking away towards a path around the lake.

"What are you doing?" He said aloud to her. She didn't turn around or even stop walking. Now she was going to ignore him? She was really in for it as she was testing his nerves. "Miss Wood, I expect you to answer me." He yelled to her through the rain. "Do not just walk away when I am speaking to you." He voice still raised. She looked over her shoulder at him with an expression of fury and then she continued walking.

Another roll of thunder shook the ground and a clash of lightening struck somewhere in the forest. It was almost a replica of his anger. He became so enraged that she was ignoring him that he muttered a spell and she suddenly stopped moving, still as stone, and then she fell over onto the muddy ground with a splash of water. He strode towards her and stopped at her side. She was laying sprawled on her back in the mud trying to figure out why she was down there and then she looked up at him and anger shot through her body. She opened her mouth to shout some words of anger at him when she started to gag. The pressure and force of the rain was suffocating her as it rushed up her nose and down her throat.

He watched as she coughed and noticing that she was practically drowning, he said another spell and she slowly was lifted off the ground and gently put on her feet. She looked at him in complete misery that he would actually do something like that. She spoke in a shaking voice. "How dare you make me fall over like that? I nearly choked to death, what were you thinking? Why would you do that?" She looked utterly frightened and appalled that he would do that.

He stared at her with narrowed eyes. "Do not ignore me when I am speaking to you, do I make myself clear?"

She was so hurt that he put a jinx on her and for such a stupid reason that every emotion toward him was swelling up. After what he had said to her about anything that ever happened, or will happen, between them was a mistake she couldn't help but feel completely abused. Tears were building up in her eyes and she tightened her mouth to keep herself from yelling out.

He turned to walk away and without thinking she pulled out her own wand and pointed it at him. A purple light escaped the tip and he slid and fell over backwards onto the flooding ground. It took a moment for them both to realize what just happened. When she was satisfied at seeing him sprawled, just like she was, on the muddy grass she walked right by him without even looking at him.

That was a mistake because now he was even angrier. He muttered the same spell and she too, again, fell over backwards. He sat up and saw that she rolled over onto her hands and knees and was now glaring at him like a ferocious cat ready to pounce. They both tried to get up but it was raining so hard and the ground was so wet that they both had trouble.

Just as he got to his feet he glanced up and found to his surprise that she was charging at him like a wild beast. He had barely a second to react but it was too late. She pounced on him and they went tumbling over. He was on his back again but this time she was on top of him. She had one of her knees pinned on his stomach and her hands pressing down on his chest, just like a cat. Steam was pumping out of her nostrils and her mouth, almost as if she was growling.

He was in complete shock. He didn't know what to do; all his thoughts were mixed up inside his head. His brain wasn't working properly. No student had ever attacked him like that before, or even attempted to. Normally they wouldn't even have a chance to consider their actions because he was too quick but she managed to knock him over, not with a jinx, but with her own body. He was positively stunned, for the fact that she ever thought about doing it and not to mention that they were both now lying on the muddy ground in the rain.

She was still pumping with anger when she noticed that she had the Potions Master pinned down underneath her in the rain, steam still puffing out her nose and mouth and a slight growl in her breath. She thought about aiming her wand in his face and muttering some unkindly spell but he would be too quick for her, but he was just lying here obviously in shock that she managed to get him to the ground. A strange look was covering his face. She knew she had made a mistake in attacking him and he clearly showed signs of anger but a look of curiosity was about him as well. She didn't know what to do now. It was very awkward. She was so mad at him that she didn't care what they did next or that she would simply attack him again but she did feel silly that she was laying over him like an animal that caught its prey.

She was trying to yell at him about everything but when she opened her mouth no words came out. He seized the opportunity and grabbed her arms fiercely in an attempt to remove her. He grasped her tightly but he paused. She was positively shaking with rage and the way she was framed against the stormy sky and how brilliantly the rain fell around her like drapes of daggers captured him. Despite her small body she looked very mighty just now as if she defeated him. Strands of hair were escaping the mold to her face and falling limply in front of her eyes. They flashed at him and he gripped her tighter.

They were both breathing very fast and heavy like they had been wrestling until death. He finally found his words. "I insist that you get off me or you will endure severe punishment Miss Wood." His voice was strong and demanding but smooth.

"No." She said plainly. A voice in her head was shrieking at her; 'What are you doing?' But she ignored it; she let her emotions take over now.

He stared back at her. "No?" He sounded stunned.

And in return she shouted "No! N-O! You aren't leaving until I say you do. Not until you hear what I have to say." The voice was continuing to shriek in her head; 'Oh, you are going to be in deep trouble. You won't live to see another day after this.' She didn't care.

For someone who has been pinned down in the rain by a female student, he spoke rather calmly, considering he had a very short temper and was prone to be frightening when angered. "And what is it that you wanted to say as you have me pinned down in the middle of a raging storm and what makes you think I want to hear it?" Thunder and lightening were following each other rapidly now. Each time sent the ground shaking.

"Because you - I am going to make you." In all honesty she really didn't know what she wanted to say to him. She was just so furious.

"I see. Unfortunately I do not have the time to listen to your hearts desires and I am so sorry I can not linger but I have other plans." He said in bitter sarcasm. He roughly tried to remove her from his chest but she refused. "Do not put me in the position to become forceful Miss Wood." He said as he lifted her hands away from his chest and she toppled over onto the ground. He started to stand up and some how she had beaten him. Just as he was half way up she pinned him again. She had positively gone mad. They were back in the same position and now he was beyond angry. "Have you lost your senses woman?"

She could see the madness flashing in his face but she put it aside. She was going to have her say even if it resulted in horrid consequences. "NO! You are going to listen to me! I want to know one thing!" She gripped his robes in confidence to make him understand.

He moved his hands to her waist to push her off as she yelled at him. He lost his patience. "What!" He roared.

"Why did you kiss me if it didn't mean anything to you?" She roared back. She couldn't stop herself from saying it. It just slipped out.

He didn't know what to say or how to even answer. She was adamant and there was no escaping it. He didn't know why he had kissed her before but he knew it shouldn't have ever happened. Is that why she is so furious, because of a stupid kiss? "Nonsense." He said.

"Fine! Don't answer me. I suppose it was all just a joke then. You were merely playing with my emotions for your own twisted pleasure!" The thunder raged on and the rain was pelting towards the ground with heavy drops like bombs. She gathered all her self-control and then she took a deep breath, readying herself to attack.

He thought for sure she was about to hit, punch or slap him and he prepared himself for it. But what he didn't expect was for her to suddenly lean forward and lock her lips to his. It caught him by great surprise and his eyes opened in shock. She devoured his lips with her own and she firmly pressed her body against his. He grabbed her waist tighter and just as he began to gradually accept the mind-boggling kiss she pulled away. "There!" She stood up with incredible speed and then dashed off up to the castle, leaving him to stare at nothing for a moment before he too stood up.

'What the hell was that about?' He said confused to himself. He watched as she tried to run up towards the castle and then he followed.

When he reached the doors into the Entrance Hall he saw her sprinting up the stairs towards her rooms. He turned left and headed for his dungeons but changed direction just before he descended the stairs. He turned quickly with a squeak from his shoes and took the same path she did. He walked casually up the stairs and soon ended up at her door. He knocked, he didn't know why, and then waited. He heard the sound of breaking glass and a moment later the door opened. She looked up at him more furiously then ever, dripping wet and shaking.

"What do you wan-" She tried to say but not before he grabbed her by the arms and forcefully moved into the room and then swooped down and kissed her. This time she was taken by surprise and somewhere she heard the door close behind her as she was swept away by this soaking wet man, locked up in a stomach turning kiss.

Crazy things happen indeed when the rain falls…


	25. Passion or Love

Sometimes a nice little walk in the rain can do wonders, can't it? You know something funny? This morning I was on my way to work and my car acted strange. It shifted into first gear and then it wouldn't go back. So I was left with a car that wouldn't park and therefore could not turn off. Suddenly the engine died and as I tried to turn it off it wouldn't. So it was stuck between off and on and in a driving gear that would not park. It began to roll backwards and I had to pull the emergency break, considering my brakes were shot as well. So to make a long story short, I had to wait two hours in ninety-degree weather in the pouring rain for a stupid tow truck. I was completely drenched. I just thought it was strange that I happened to write a chapter about someone in the pouring rain and then I was stuck in the pouring rain. How ironic. Heh, yeah well I never made it to work so I came home. But that's ok because now I can write chapter twenty-five. Woo Hoo for the readers and nay for me about my car. Well, I can't say I was actually somewhat relieved that I got to take the day off and then write instead. That's a plus! Ok, on to the chapter. Toodles! Oh, it was my Gear Cable that snapped. Damn you stupid vehicle! I just got you fixed!

AN: The story is becoming slightly steamy so I am just warning those who may object to, or find offensive, some material presented through out this chapter. In my opinion it's not nearly as graphic as it could become so this is merely a sample, a taster, a teaser for what will come in the future. Ahem, enjoy it anyway, the story I mean. Oh and just a little hint if questions arise later about why certain things did not happen: _Timing is everything and it should not be messed with. _Well with that said, I'll just leave you to the chapter.

Seda didn't know what was happening.Just yesterday he was telling her that what ever happened between them was wrong and now here he was doing what he criticized her about. She didn't think that silly little kiss she laid on him minutes ago would turn him into something wild; she was just trying to prove a point. Having him show up at her rooms and then forcefully taking her in his grasp ending up in a heated kiss was definitely not what she had planned... all though she couldn't really complain at the moment.

He didn't say anything or even let her finish, he just grabbed her and moved her into the room and snatched up her lips like they were some forbidden treasure. It was thrilling. But she was still so angry with him that she pulled away. She stared up into his face dripping with rain still and just looked at him blankly. What was he doing? He's lost it.

"What are you - why are you doing this?" She said breathlessly. She tried to wedge out from under his arms. She was backing away from him, shaking her head. "You were just saying yesterday that nothing is between us… that it's wrong. If you think I'm going to forgive you just because you came here and tried to kiss me senseless then you've -"

He moved towards her and cut her off. "You mean I should be forgiving you. Well I'm afraid to say that you still are going to be punished for your actions but… it can wait." An evil smirk spread across his face.

He was still coming at her slowly and steadily and she was backing away from him. She narrowed her eyes and said, "What do you mean? You jinxed me first and -" She bumped into the wall. "And what do I have to be forgiven for? It was all y-you." She was saying in a soft, unsure voice while edging along the wall to her rooms. He was still walking up to her and he didn't stop until he had his arms placed above her head and his hands firmly resting on the wall and was looming over her. "All me?" He said silkily.

She gasped slightly and tried to duck out from beneath him and enter her rooms but he swiftly floated around her and blocked the entrance. She couldn't look away from him and she was too afraid to move. She stood paralyzed, practically trembling unsure of what was going to happen. He noticed how terrified she looked and just to make himself look even more intimidating he folded his arms up inside his robes, which were still soaking wet. "Let me remind you that it was you who just fastened your lips to my own as you had me pinned to the ground. You do remember that don't you? And how you just ran off with out explaining your actions. And you say it was all me? I think not Miss Wood." His voice was not cold and bitter but warm and gentle.

"I - I… y-yes, but I… w-well you…" She gasped again and gave a terrified little laugh and looked as though she tried to run but couldn't. She was stuck, unable to talk or move. She didn't know if she was shivering because she was cold from the rain or if it was because of him, but whatever it was, was sending chills down her spine.

He was extremely pleased that he was back in command. "In answer to your question; I don't know why I kissed you before…" He moved closer to her so that they were touching. She stared straight ahead, which was his chest. "But something in your eyes…" He moved a strand of wet hair off her face and then placed his hand on her cheek. "Captured me." She was breathing very fast. Heat and chills were rushing through her body at the same time. With every word he spoke they became more of a whisper until his lips brushed her neck. She closed her eyes and gulped down air. She was finding it difficult to breath at the moment.

Slowly his hands slid over her neck and up into her soaking hair and she felt herself go weak. His delicate lips kissed their way up to her mouth and for some reason she accepted the greeting. How could she turn it down? She raised her hands to his back and pressed against him. His hands moved away from the tangle of hair and slid down to her waist where he gently took hold of the hems of her shirt. He pulled it up slowly and as he did he spoke, "You'll catch cold in wet clothes." She nodded in a hurry and continued the kiss.

As he pulled off her shirt it clung to her wet skin and she released him in order for him to pull it off completely. After he tossed it to the floor she found his cloak and pushed it off his shoulders. He slipped his arms out of it as she unbuttoned his robes and aggressively pulled them off his wet body. When his chest was bare she brought her hands up to his shoulders as he tried to unhook the bra that remained on her chest. When he managed to peel it off her they began to move into her bedroom, leaving a pile of clothes on the floor in the sitting room.

They were once again on her bed with him leaning over her but this time almost entirely free of clothes. He ran his graceful hands along her bare skin as he looked at her questioningly. She knew what he was waiting for and she couldn't speak. She stared back into his face and tried to smile but she only blinked. She wanted to tell him that she was ready and willing to give herself up to him but no words left her lips.

He leant down and kissed her worries away, letting her hands move wherever they pleased. He let his mouth explore every area of her face and he gradually let it move to her neck, her shoulders, her chest and finally her stomach. She arched her back like a cat and wrapped her arms around his neck. She bent her knees to urge him forward and when he looked at her she sat up and moved her hands down to the top of his pants. She unbuttoned them and he slithered out of them like a snake. She fell back onto the bed and he pulled her jeans off, gently letting them glide over her hips and thighs.

Before they knew it every thread of clothing was off their bodies, except for a gold chain around her neck, and they embraced one another as they became caught up in a series of kisses. They were still damp from the storm outside but neither seemed to mind. They managed to turn over so she was now sitting on top of him and she was crawling up his body to become closer to him, in some sort of desperate need. It took every bit of strength in him not to unite with her right away because he wanted to make this last. She didn't seem to be in a hurry and for that he was thankful. They continued to devour the other in any area they desired and soon it would become much more. She could feel the hardness of him pressed against her leg and he could sense the readiness and eagerness she patiently kissed away.

Their breaths became heavier and faster as every moment became more rapid and blurry. The air was thick with steam and spices and the way they inhaled the others scent was like a delicious treat. His inviting manly woodsy scent and her soft sweet fragrance was driving the other wild and they both had the clinging smell of fresh mid summers rain and it was seducing.

A moan escaped her as he teasingly brushed his hands along her inner thighs and moved them up to a more forbidden area. She took a quick intake of air and practically purred into his mouth, which left a buzzing feeling in his head. As he gently moved his fingers inside her she clawed into his shoulders to keep her self from letting out a joyful cry of pleasure. She couldn't go much longer without dying of anticipation and he sensed how much more aroused and passionate she was. She moved her lips down to his neck and kissed just below his ear as she slowly slid one of her hands down to caress his manhood, the other hand still clawing into his shoulder. He now was the one to let out a small moan into her ear and she smiled as she sucked on his neck. They both needed more, to be closer to each other.

Severus knew what she was and he was more then willing to accept it and in fact make it perfect and soothing for her but would she accept what he was… a Death Eater, well an ex Death Eater but it was still part of him. Having this kind of intimacy with her would allow her to become part of him, part of his soul and he wasn't sure if she could handle what lies in his past. He wasn't sure if he wanted to bring that burden upon her. He tried to speak in between each quickened breath. "I need to know - if you are ready - if you can handle…"

She spoke in between every kiss. "Yes - I'm ready - I want to - please…now…" She was pulsing with heat and passion.

He closed his eyes for a moment and then grabbed her shoulders to make her look at him. "I mean can you accept what I am? I don't know if I can bring this burden upon you… I-"

She looked at him through sympathetic eyes. This suddenly brought doubts to her mind that she overlooked. Of course she accepted him but… did she love him. She didn't know. She cared about him yes but did she really love him? Did he love her? She couldn't answer herself. She always promised herself that she would never give herself up to someone unless she was truly in love and now she didn't know how she felt. What was she doing? How did it come to this? She enjoyed the kisses, and the other things, but how far was she willing to let herself go. She didn't doubt any feelings towards him anymore but she doubted her ability to love someone so strongly that this sacrifice would be more then worth it, on his part and hers.

He seemed to be reading her mind because he said, "I understand." And then he brought his hands up to her face and pulled her down. He laid a delicate kiss on her forehead and she gracefully collapsed at his side. They both didn't move for a minute and they panted slightly.

She tossed one of her arms over his chest and leaned up on her other elbow so she was on her side facing him. He put one of his hands in her hair and watched her as she spoke. "It's not you, honestly, it's me. I - I just always told myself that… I wanted to be in love when…" Why was this so difficult to say? She closed her eyes for strength and then looked back at him with dazzling, crystal eyes.

"When it's your first time… I understand." His expression was unreadable. She didn't know if he felt offended or understanding.

"I'm not just saying this because I don't care… about you." She said hesitantly, not sure whether it sounded believable or not. "I already accept who you are, it's just that I don't know if I can… if I'm ready to… give myself up… I mean… I am but I don't know if I… if I…if I'm in…" She swallowed and then rested her head on his chest and sighed. "In love yet." She said very quietly as she listened to the steady beats of his heart.

He laid a hand on her back and caressed her smoothly. She then situated herself so she had both arms around him in an embrace and she molded herself to him, not really wanting him to go anywhere. In truth she felt safe with him, protected and cherished, but were they capable of loving each other. It was such a big decision so she thought it best not to force it. She lay with half her body on his and her head resting on his chest and she stayed there until she lost track of time. Apparently he was not ready to leave either and she hoped he would stay the night but she couldn't count on it. He had one of his arms around her back and the other he combed through her hair and soon she drifted off to sleep.

He wasn't sure how long they stayed like this but when he felt the slow deep breathing rising in her chest he thought it was time for him to leave. He muttered a simple spell that would keep her undisturbed as he moved from underneath her and he delicately slid out and off the bed. He looked down at her and he thought that since she was with out any clothes she would soon begin to feel cold after the absence of his body heat. He gently scooped her up and pulled back the covers on her bed then laid her down properly with her head resting on the pillow. He pulled the covers back over her and stared as she slept.

No matter how many times he watched her sleep he couldn't see enough of it. Each time captured him in a silent satisfaction as she entranced him with simple beauty and innocence. He moved away to pick up his wand, pointed it at himself to make himself become clothed and then he walked over to her and lowered his head. He softly laid a kiss on her lips once more and then exited the rooms, floating on a rather rainy cloud. It was a bittersweet night to say the least.

Severus had woken early the next morning despite his few hours of sleep. He intended on going up for a very early breakfast and returning to his office to grade essays. The sun had barely been up for half an hour as he walked to the door of his office. When he opened it he found quite a surprise, a very distressed looking Seda just raising her hand to knock. She looked absolutely horrible. Her face was pale and her eyes gray, her hair was extremely untidy and she looked like she threw on clothes in a hurry.

He narrowed his eyes after realizing she was standing there and looked at her speechlessly. Why was she here and so early? She didn't look well at all. When she spoke it sounded more like a croak. Her voice was so low and quiet he could barely hear her. "I'm not feeling well." She said. She clearly had lost her voice.

He studied her for a moment and then stepped aside to let her in. He closed the door behind her and she took a few steps in and stopped. She dropped her chin to her chest and he watched her from the door. "I had another dream." She said in low raspy voice. "Just now, and I rushed down here to tell you. I thought you ought to know." Her voice sounded hollow and dull. She obviously was still half asleep. She continued to stand with her head bowed.

He walked around in front of her and rested his hands on her shoulders. He looked down at her and said, "What happened?" She looked up at him with only her eyes from beneath her lashes and said nothing. She lowered her eyes and then pulled down the collar of her shirt to reveal an oddly shaped bruise just over her heart. It was of deep purple and red and very swollen. He at once pushed aside her hands to get a better look and spoke scandalized. "What did this?"

"I don't know." She croaked. He barely laid his finger on it and she winced in pain. He decided not to touch it any more.

He looked back at her concerned. "You don't think it possibly could have been from…" He lowered his voice. "Last night?"

She shook her head. "It showed up the last time I had this dream, though not as bad, it just became clearer this morning when I woke up." Her voice cracked as she spoke and he had trouble hearing her. "What is it?" She asked desperately.

He studied it again. "I can't say for certain, but it's obviously a side effect from the Sleep Aid. It's strange though, I've never seen such marks like this."

"Will it go away?" She asked him. He looked at her again and answered, "I don't know." She whimpered slightly and then turned away from him, walking towards the window. She rested her hands on the sill and sighed as she stared out into the foggy grounds.

A moment later she said, "I'm sorry." Se looked luminous as the sunlight spilled in through the glass and framed her against the window like a heavenly creature.

"For what?" He asked as he stood watching her lean into the sunlight.

"For attacking you last night and pinning you down in the rain." Her voice was still hoarse. That was not what he was expecting her to say. He moved next to her and rested his hands on the sill too. He considered his words and then replied. "I was a bit surprised when you came hurtling at me like an animal and the fact that you managed to pin me was some what unexpected. Normally I would have jinxed you before you took your first step but I was not expecting you to come after me. But in all honesty, it wasn't particularly that unbearable." He glanced sideways at her and noticed that she turned her head towards him.

"Oh." She said uncertainly and she continued to gaze back out into the grounds. "But I thought you said I would be punished."

"No doubt you still have detention Miss Wood, tomorrow evening at eight o'clock in my office. I haven't forgotten." He smirked. She whipped her head around at him and her jaw fell open, clearly in disbelief. She surveyed him this way for a moment until he touched her chin with his fingers and pushed her mouth closed. "You attacked your teacher and for that you must pay."

"But… what about… fine." She said grumpily and placed her elbows on the sill and rested her chin on her hands. How unfair was that? He attacked a student. And what about last night? They nearly had sex and he was still going to punish her? She wasn't in the mood to argue so she resentfully agreed.

He studied her for a while and when he was satisfied he spoke again. "I'm going to breakfast. You should probably eat too, you still don't look well."

"I'm not hungry." She answered still grumpy and croaking.

"Nonsense, of course you are. Even if you don't feel well you should still eat." He insisted.

"I don't feel like eating." She said more furiously.

"Fine, suit yourself. What are you going to do? Sit here and pine out the window all day?" He was still rather calm though standing up straight now.

"No, I'll probably go take a shower and finish some work if you want to know. Though I'm still probably wet enough from last night's storm." She stood up and walked towards the door to leave. She stopped when she was almost to the door and turned back to look at him. "Would you… happen to have any potions to make this cold go away?" She tried to smile but she knew she had just been snooty with him and he would probably say no, no matter what.

He gave her a questioning look and then he walked towards her while pulling out a small vial from his robes. With a small smirk he held it in front of her face almost teasing her. "I was going to deliver it to you after breakfast because I knew you would be in need of it after being in the rain for so long last night."

She stared at him curiously for a minute, her head tilted to the side. He waved it in front of her face and said, "Here, take it before I change my mind."

She blinked and then took it out of his hand with her thumb and index finger but also letting her fingers glide across his hand before she did. She cave him a very coy look and then turned around. He opened the door for her and as they climbed up the stairs she said, "Change your mind about what… professor?" She stressed the professor and let her tongue carry out the 's' with a slight hiss. He raised an eyebrow.

He looked down at her as he stopped on the landing to the Entrance Hall. She had her chin in the air and she didn't notice him until she heard his lack of footsteps on the marble floor. "What?" She said innocently.

He smirked at her again and then said, "Nothing." She shrugged and they continued into the Hall.

"I thought you weren't hungry?" He said as she walked passed the staircase and into the deserted Great Hall.

"I changed my mind." She said simply in a croaking voice and a mischievous grin spread across her face. Though he didn't show it, he was smiling to himself.

They chatted cozily over breakfast for nearly a half hour undisturbed until a few members of the staff came to an early breakfast. Just as the others greeted them good morning and sat down, Severus and Seda stood and departed the Hall together.

When they reached the stairs she placed a foot on the first step and then spun around to face him. Apparently he was waiting for her to do something because he was just standing there looking at her. "Do you want me to escort you up to your rooms, in case you begin to feel ill again?" He looked concerned.

"No, I'll be alright." She pulled out the vial and waved it in front of his face while she said, "Thanks." And then she smiled at him sincerely this time and continued up the stairs, glancing over her shoulder every so often.

When she reached the last step to the second floor landing a sharp pain shot through her chest like she had been electrocuted. She gasped and dropped to her knees. She pressed her hands to her heart and began breathing very fast in short intakes, hyperventilating. Her knees landed on the landing and she sunk to the floor, crouching over in a ball. The pain was unbearable and her eyes were stinging with pain. Her head was becoming fuzzy and her vision blurry.

She could hear someone calling her name in a worried voice, though it sounded very distant, and she could just see a pair of heels coming quickly towards her in a blur. She felt someone touch her shoulder faintly and then everything turned black and she remembered no more.

Voices were mumbling somewhere nearby her and they sounded very distant as if they were only echoes. She felt her eyeballs moving under the lids and she slowly began to open them. Everything was blurry and hazy and she didn't know where she was. The voices were coming in a little clearer now but she still couldn't make out what they were saying, it was like a foreign language. She moved only her eyes from side to side to see if she could recognize this place or find the source of the mumbling.

She inhaled deeply through her nose in a very sleepy way and she heard someone say her name, though it still sounded very far away. She noticed she was lying down on a bed and warm, thick blankets were drawn up to her chest. This somehow reminded her of waking up after knee surgery years ago; everything was white and hazy and nothing seemed to make sense, as her brain didn't function properly after being put out for hours.

She was extremely comfortable lying wherever she was except for the dull burning pain in her chest and her head. "Welcome back to the world Seda." Came a very soft misty voice. She took a deep, sleepy breath and turned her head to the right slightly. Dumbledore was standing next to her and gazing down at her calmly with sparkling eyes and soft smile. She couldn't seem to speak. It was like she didn't even know how to talk or form words in her brain. Her mind seemed completely blank and cloudy. All she could do was inhale and exhale deeply through her nose and stare confused and dazed.

"I believe you are wondering where you are and why you are here." He said still softly. "Apparently you had an attack of some sort and Professor McGonagall found you just before you blacked out. She brought you down to the Hospital Wing where you have been lying unconscious for little over a day now. It's good to see that you have come back." He said very calmly as if this happened regularly or he found it extremely fascinating.

She only managed to blink at him. She was trying to take in what he just said when another figure appeared at his side. "How are you feeling dear?" Madame Pomfrey spoke encouragingly.

She opened her mouth slightly and spoke quietly and slowly, "I-I… dunno…" She sounded breathless. She continued to look around above her as things began to come in more clearly.

"She should probably stay here for awhile Headmaster and continue to rest. She still seems very dazed. Mind you, she did hit her head rather hard on the floor by the looks of that cut." She heard Madame Pomfrey say to Dumbledore.

"Whatever you think she needs Poppy, but maybe she should not lay here too long or she could lose sense of her mind." Dumbledore said back more concerned.

They continued to converse in soft tones but she paid them no attention. She turned her head to look at the windows high on the wall to her left. It looked as if the sun was just rising because the beams of light were a pale golden shimmer that only the morning sun brought. She watched as the dust particles danced in the light for some time and then she heard the door close with a soft click.

"Seda, if you need anything I'll just be in my office. Go ahead and rest now but later we'll need to change the bandages on your head and chest." Pomfrey said somewhere to the side and then she heard the faint echoes of footsteps and then it was silent. She continued to gaze at the sunlight spilling in through the windows until she felt her eyelids become heavy. Before she knew it they closed and she fell asleep, breathing deeply and calmly.

She awoke with a start but her eyes remained closed. She had the feeling that someone was looking at her and she sleepily opened her eyes. As the surroundings came into focus she noticed that no one was there. It was dark except for a few candles that lit up the room. She sighed as she turned her head to look up at the ceiling.

She moved her right arm from underneath the cover and shakily raised it to her head. She pressed a few fingers against her forehead, feeling for the source of the itch. She felt a cloth patched just above her eyes and then she removed her hand. She lowered it to her chest where she felt another strange substance. She slowly and weakly pushed her self up into a sitting position and then looked down. Another cloth was bandaged on her chest, just over her heart. She was also wearing a set of white, buttoned pajamas. She pulled at the top until she could see her entire chest. She winced as she raised her hand to the bandage and gently peeled back a corner. There was that oddly shaped bruise she had before and it looks as though it was bleeding. Strange she thought. She never saw a bruise bleed before. She examined it curiously and pulled at her top to see more of it until her left breast was exposed. The bruise seemed to have traveled over it somewhat, leaving a trail of dried blood.

What had happened to her? She sat there puzzled, examining her bruise until she heard something or someone moving. She looked up and saw that in the shadows near the window Severus had begun to walk towards her. She weakly pulled her half unbuttoned shirt back over her bare chest and watched him walk to her side. He was barely visible in the candlelight but she looked at him all the same. His eyes seemed to glimmer magnificently in the light.

"How are you feeling Miss Wood?" He asked quietly. She took a deep breath and studied him for a moment then she looked down at her chest again. She pulled open her top slightly and said, "Did you see this?" Her voice was very soft and cracking. She still sounded like a frog, as she did the day before. She looked back at him slowly with a frown on her face. "What's happening to me?"

"It's hard to say, no one really knows. It is the effect from your dreams, undoubtedly." He sounded calm and his voice was very soothing to her. He remained where he stood, hesitant to move.

She swallowed and then spoke again. "How long have I been here?"

"Two days come the morning. You have been sleeping the entire time I have been told. Yesterday you were unconscious, today merely exhausted." He still sounded rather calm.

"When can I leave? I already missed classes today." She was beginning to worry now.

"When Madame Pomfrey releases you and your wounds are healed. The other professors have been told about your absence and have already written up notes for the day for your convenience." He said as if he had memorized this, but it made her feel less concerned.

She gingerly lied back down, wincing as she did, and took another deep breath. "I don't want to lay here anymore. Can I go to my rooms?"

"I'm afraid not. Your bandages still need to be changed every few hours and Madame Pomfrey insists you stay under her care." He said and she groaned impatiently.

"Will you sit her with me then… only I can't sleep anymore." She asked as innocently as ever and looked at him with dazzling eyes. He considered this for a moment and then crossed his arms and said, "Only for a little while. I still have papers to grade tonight." She gave him a small frown but then tried to smile, it was better then nothing at least. He took out his wand and conjured a chair out of thin air. It spun around as it floated to the floor and then he sat down next to her.

They sat in silence for several moments until she asked him about the Potions lesson she missed. He explained to her about the solution they were going over and she asked about its significance and properties. They talked for nearly an hour as they expanded to other subjects.

Finally he said he needed to be going and he stood. He made the chair vanish with a flick of his wand. They said goodnight to each other and she watched as he walked to the doors of the Hospital Wing, wishing he would stay. When he opened the door he turned back and said, "You still have detention though. Good night." And with a smirk he closed the door and was gone.

The room suddenly appeared much darker and felt cooler so she curled up underneath the warm blankets and settled herself comfortably. She rolled her eyes at his last remark but when she shut them a smile spread across her lips. She slept peacefully and the same little smile lingered there all night.


	26. An Urgent Owl

I can't tell you how fun it was to write that last chapter though it was difficult. The hard part was restraining myself from writing too much during the, ahem, beginning. The time will come when things are right but not yet. Anyway, this story is becoming so much longer then I expected because I've barely gotten halfway, there is soooo much more to write still. But that's ok because the more the merrier. All right, I have nothing further to say except Toodles!

Seda left the Hospital Wing the next day shortly after breakfast. Her wounds were not bleeding freely anymore so she was free to leave. She entered her rooms and planned on taking a very long, relaxing bath…and she did. She soaked in soothingly steamy water and indulged in luxurious bubbles for nearly an hour. When her skin became wrinkly she decided to get out and try going down for lunch. Now that she thought about it, as she walked into her room with a towel wrapped around her self, she was starving. She had not been particularly fond of food as she sat in the Hospital Wing. Something about those dreams and the affect they had on her body after always made her nauseous.

After dressing into her school robes she snatched up her books, school bag and pile of notes her professors made then departed for lunch. She knew she was going to be early but she could at least sit and go over some notes. She passed many of the students as she headed for the Great Hall and they all seemed to be looking at her cautiously. It was a bit strange she thought because she never had seen them look at her like that before. Was something on her face? Why were they looking at her funny? She tried to ignore them but one of the girls from a group of seventh year Slytherins came towards her as she stepped onto the landing in the Entrance Hall.

The blonde haired girl walked behind her as Seda turned for the Great Hall. "Hey, Seda." She called after her. Seda stopped and turned wondering what she was going to say. "How are you feeling?" The girl said with a curious smile. Seda looked at her for a moment and then glanced over at the rest of the girls she was standing with, they were all whispering and watching eagerly.

She looked back and said, "Um, fine? Why?" She didn't know that anyone knew about her being ill. She was starting to feel slightly self-conscious.

The blonde girl in front of her continued to smile and then she looked at her seriously. "Oh, I just heard you were in the infirmary and was wondering if you were all right. Someone mentioned you looked really ill and battered."

"I'm better now, thanks though." Seda tried to smile warmly but she was suspicious. She turned to leave and the girl quickly added. "Yeah, I bet Professor Snape fixed that right up." Seda stopped dead in her tracks and then whipped around. The girl was smiling maliciously.

"What do you mean by that?" Seda demanded in an offended voice. Thoughts were beginning to race through her head. What if someone saw them together that night she came back from Hermione's?

The girl continued to stare at her evilly until she said, "Oh nothing. Someone only just saw him leaving the Infirmary late last night and early this morning. He seems a little _concerned_ if you ask me, considering you're not in his House." She seemed extremely satisfied with her response and smiled evilly. Seda didn't know what to say. She was angry. Why were they being so nosy and what did it matter to them? She merely lowered her eyebrows and then turned and walked into the Great Hall looking straight ahead, not daring to look back.

She sat at the staff table by her self for a little while going over the notes in front of her though not really taking in what any of it said. She couldn't stop thinking about what just happened and what that nosy girl said. Concerned? What did she mean by that? And who told her about Snape being there last night? He wasn't there that morning though, so she was wrong… or was he?

She hadn't even touched her food yet when Lupin sat next to her. "I see you received yesterday's notes, good. How are you feeling?"

She didn't even know he sat down or that anyone else was there. "Huh?" She said distantly as she looked up startled, not really hearing him.

"How are you feeling? Better?" He had an amused expression on his face.

"Oh," She laid down the notes in front of her. "Oh, I feel much better thanks. Sorry, I didn't see you sit down, I was…" She glanced somewhere to the side and quickly looked back at him smiling. "I was going over notes."

"You must have been concentrating heavily because I see you haven't touched your plate yet. Are you sure you feel all right?"

"Uh, yes I was. I don't want to be unprepared for classes today so I was trying to review what I missed. I feel fine, really. You don't look so well yourself though Professor. Are you feeling ok?" She noticed he looked a little shabby and pale.

"Oh me? Yes, I'm good. I must be catching something perhaps. I'll be fine." He tucked in to his own plate and began to eat. Seda eyed him for a moment then pulled her own plate towards her.

She had taken a few bites of her casserole and then began to poke at the various foods on her plate. She was thinking so much still about the interaction in the Great Hall that she lost her desire to eat. She just started prodding her potato when Lupin spoke to her again. "Not much of an appetite?"

Seda stared lazily at the wall opposite her as she leaned her cheek onto her left hand and stabbed her food with the other. "Hmm? Oh, no… not really." Why did that impertinent girl have to nose into her business? Seda lowered her eyebrows furiously as she asked herself that. She became so frustrated that she accidentally flung a piece of broccoli off her fork and across the table where it landed in McGonagall's lap. Seda gasped as she looked down the table in horror. As she turned her head she saw that other members of the staff were following the flying broccoli with their eyes. "Oh, Professor… I'm so sorry. It just… slipped." She pleaded with worry in her eyes.

McGonagall picked up the piece of broccoli, her eyebrows raised, and set it on the table next to her plate and then she turned to look at Seda. "It's fine, but I must tell you that you'll find it much easier to eat your food when it's not flying around the room." She smiled at her. "The day is never complete unless something unexpected ends up in your lap." She said in good humor and then returned to her own plate. Just to make it more perfect, Snape had just strolled to the table and was looking at her with an expression of purest amusement. Obviously he had seen what just happened and was intending to comment about it.

Seda turned back towards her plate feeling dumb. She put down her fork and rested her forehead in her hands. The day wasn't off to the best start. She heard Snape sit down next to her and she purposely kept her head buried so she didn't have to look at him.

"So, I see that you have decided to announce your presence by flinging food across the table. How original." He said indifferently but she took this very badly. For some reason she felt completely more stressed then usual. She turned her head slowly with it still in her hands to look at him. She gave him a pitiful look and then she grabbed her books, bag and notes and abandoned her food. She hurried around the table and then dashed out of the Hall.

Snape watched her as she went, he didn't realize that his comment would force her to flee. He raised his eyebrows and he glanced sideways at Lupin who was watching as Seda left too. "You know Severus, she's been distant throughout the entire meal. I wonder what's bothering her." He shrugged and then turned back to his plate. Severus took in his words and thought about them. He hadn't intentionally meant to upset her. He gave a mental shrug and then continued his meal. He would find out later.

Seda made her way up to the library with out being questioned or ridiculed by anyone and she was glad she could find peace there. She settled herself down at a table near a window and dropped her things on the surface. She plopped into a chair and stared out at the grounds. It was bright and breezy, not like it was a few days ago. She put her head back in her hands and sighed. Why did things always have to become difficult all the time? She wished she could just vent without people thinking she was crazy if she were to start yelling in frustration. The library probably wasn't the best place for that. She could run outside and scream for a minute but she had to be in Charms class shortly and she probably wouldn't make it. Oh well she thought. Five minutes later she slowly departed for Charms, thinking she would much rather be outside.

The day was going painfully slow. Classes seemed to take longer then usual and every walk in the corridors felt like they were in slow motion. It was dinnertime and the sun was beginning to set. She walked down the Grand Staircase and out to the Entrance Hall, avoiding everyone's eyes. She didn't know how many people knew about her Hospital Wing visits and she hoped very few. She hadn't had a chance to ask him yet about that and now that she remembered she would certainly do so.

When she walked into the Great Hall Severus was already seated and having a discussion with Lupin about something. "I shall bring it to you tonight then." She heard Severus say to him and Lupin replied, "Ah, thank you Severus. That would be wonderful. Oh, good evening Seda." He said as she walked behind Snape to her seat.

"Good evening Professor Lupin." She nodded at him as she sat down. "I'm sorry for my behavior earlier, I wasn't myself."

"That's all right. We all need to gather our thoughts sometimes. How were classes today?" He said as he cut up a pork chop.

"They were fine. The notes were helpful." She grabbed herself a pork chop too. Lupin nodded and was called to attention by another staff member and soon was in discussion about some type of strange creature. Seda was left to eat her meal in silence. For some reason she was finding it hard to look to her right, which was where Severus sat. When another several minutes went by without him saying anything to her she finally gathered up courage and spoke. "I haven't flung any food across the table if you haven't noticed." She tried to give a small laugh but it didn't come out.

He swallowed his bite and said, "I have noticed." He didn't look at her but continued to eat. Seda swallowed and then turned towards him, almost putting her hand on his arm but she quickly realized it was a bad idea so she reached for her glass instead. She saw his eyes glance at her hand for a second and then turn back to his plate. She took a quick sip and then put her hands in her lap to keep herself from touching him. "I've been meaning to ask you professor…um…" She was going to ask if he had been to see her that morning but she decided not to, she didn't know why.

He seemed to find this incomplete question irritating. "Yes, what is it." He said coolly.

"Um, I was wondering… when my detention is?" She sounded a bit too unsure of what she was saying to be sincere.

He eyed her curiously. "Tonight at eight o'clock. You won't need anything." Seda was bummed she still had detention but there was nothing she could do.

At five to eight she knocked on his office door. He opened it and she entered. He closed the door and she walked to the middle of the room and then turned to face him. "So, what do I have to do?" She said sounding very disappointed.

"I would like for you to clean out the spare cauldrons in the classroom. They need to be scrubbed completely full of the potion residue. Come back when you are finished, I'll be grading papers here." He pointed his wand over her shoulder and the door into the Potions classroom opened. She gave him a hesitant look but followed orders anyway.

For several hours she scrubbed away at the grimy cauldrons. She finally had to take off her robes because the sleeves were getting in the way. She was left standing in a fitted white shirt she wore under her school sweater, and her skirt. She had her sleeves pushed up and her hair was clipped back in a twist. Strands of hair fell into her face but she continued scrubbing, as fast as she could. Her arms were becoming tired. When Seda was on her last few cauldrons she noticed a tiny bit of potion swimming at the bottom of one. She turned the cauldron upside down and emptied the contents into the washbasin.

When she set it down she saw some of it had made contact with her skin. She went to wipe it off but then it was beginning to burn. Slowly her fingers became numb and tingly and it felt like fire was traveling up to her shoulder. It was really beginning to hurt. She gasped in pain to herself and then she let out a shriek as her skin began to turn purple. "Professor?" She called in a wary voice. It was really burning. "Professor!" She cried out in panic. She held her left arm and watched as it became limp.

He came up behind her in a hurry and looked over her shoulder. "What happened?" He sounded not very worried.

"I was emptying a cauldron and some of the potion got on my arm. Can you make it stop, please? It burns." She begged him. He gave her a menacing look then took her arm in his hands, careful not to touch the potion creeping up her skin. He took out his wand and tapped it lightly. The swelling and purple shade faded immediately though it was still throbbing somewhat.

"There. Be more cautious next time. Some potions are not as slow in burning the flesh from your body. This will be sore for some time but it should not cause any more harm." He ran a finger down her arm as he said this, which sent chills up her neck. He looked around the room in a glance and then said, "You are dismissed for this evening."

Seda looked at her arm for a moment and then looked at the last of the remaining cauldrons to be scrubbed. "But, I haven't finished yet. I only have a few more." She said though relieved she was not required to do any more scrubbing.

"It's nearly eleven and you should probably be going back to your rooms. I want you awake and alert for class tomorrow morning." She tried to reply, "I can finish them, really it's not-" He cut her off. "I can do it Miss Wood." And he waved his wand and the insides of the cauldrons were scrubbed and looked like new.

Seda dropped her jaw. "How did you do that? If I had known I could do that I would have been finished hours ago. Why didn't you tell me?" She sounded appalled. She had stood there for almost three hours scrubbing manually when she could have used her wand. How infuriating. She stared at him as though he planned this.

In a calm voice he said, "I thought it would have been obvious considering you are now a witch and equipped with a wand. How forgetful of me to remind you." He said seriously but a small smirk shone on his face. At this she placed her hands on her hips impatiently and scrunched her nose, as she always did when she was about to lose her temper with someone. She was puffed up like a little popinjay. He found this rather amusing because he raised one eyebrow and tilted his head slightly.

"What?" She snapped at him. "You think it's funny don't you? You knew I wouldn't think to use my wand and save hours of labor but instead let me scrub out slimy cauldrons the difficult way. Yes, that's absolutely hilarious." She began to tap her foot to keep herself calm. This oddly reminded her of her mother when she was accusing her of some wrongdoing and she was about to be punished. "This really doesn't surprise me, after the day I'm having and then-"

He cut her off again. "Miss Wood." He found her very enjoyable to watch as she became frustrated with him. Usually he did not tolerate that sort of behavior but she was different. He liked the way she put her hands on her hips and the way she puffed herself up for a battle. Her eyes dramatically changed from a lulling deep blue to a fierce bright and passionate aqua color. And then she would scrunch her nose in frustration… he liked it a lot. It was hard to admit this to him self though. "It's called detention for a reason." He said simply.

"Yeah, so what does-" She stopped tapping her foot. "Oh." She said as it came to her. She felt stupid. Why did he always have to be so concealing though? He always had to make some point out of every little thing. It drove her mad. "Well, I'll just go then." She said but she didn't move. Her hands were still on her hips yet loosely. She tapped her fingers.

He didn't know he was doing it but his eyes looked her over from head to toe. He studied the way her hair fell into her face, the formfitting shirt that bound to her skin, the uniform skirt with its neatly pressed pleats, and lovely legs that ended in polished black shoes. Desire raced through his mind but he controlled himself. He was here because he had given her detention. Detention he reminded himself. He snapped his eyes back into focus with her own but she was following him with her eyes and her chin. A small smile was taking over lips. She clearly had noticed him looking at her. '_Damn_' he said to him self. "Yes, you should go." He said indifferently having just come back to his senses.

She eyed him for another moment and then the smile dropped. She turned and walked over to one of the desks and picked up her school sweater and robe and then walked towards the door to the Dungeons Corridor. Severus' eyes followed her as she moved. She paused as though she felt his eyes on her. With her back to him she said, "Professor… can I ask you something?"

He considered what she might want to ask but there were too many choices. "You could." He answered.

She continued to stand with her back to him and said, "Will you be honest with me?" She sounded much more mellow then a few minutes ago.

"That would depend on your question." He said suspiciously. He folded his arms inside his cloak.

Without turning around she asked innocently, "Did you come to see me again this morning, when I was in the Hospital Wing still?" She clutched her robe in her fist, not really knowing why, as a burning grin was dying to escape her lips.

"Yes." He answered truthfully. He didn't know she knew though. He thought she was still sleeping as he stood there watching her dream.

She stuffed the grin deep inside her self then turned around. "Why?" She asked innocently again. Her eyes had gone back to a deep, calming blue.

Why? He honestly didn't know why. He enjoyed watching her sleep, more so then watching her become frustrated and befuddled. He felt that, even though she was sleeping, he could learn more about her in a satisfying way. He studied every trace of breath and slight movement and the way her skin looked… and her hair… and her hands… and her… everything. "I suppose because… I wanted to make sure you were well." He paused in the middle of a sentence. He never did. He was in shock with him self for doing so. How did she do these things to him? How?

A faint expression of satisfaction came over her face. She didn't know what to say back so she nodded and turned to leave. She was still containing a grin deep down. "Just a moment." He said, as she was half way out the door. She looked back over her shoulder thinking she was glad she didn't let a grin escape for him to see how pleased she was. "I'll walk with you to your rooms. I have to bring a potion to Lupin." He walked into his office and returned moments later with a large flagon.

They headed up the stairs and, hoping it would be concealed by the dimness of only candlelight, she couldn't suppress a grin any longer. She almost laughed. She was so happy and she didn't know why. He glanced down at her and noticed her giddiness. "Is something funny Miss Wood?"

She pressed her lips together trying to force it away but the feeling was still there. She said, "No. It's just-" She stopped. She could have sworn she heard footsteps echoing behind them and she looked behind her to see if anyone was there. She noticed Severus was looking too, but no one was there. She shrugged but he was already gliding down the steps. He disappeared into the dark shadows and she didn't know if she should follow. It was kind of creepy down there at night and she wasn't sure if she even wanted to. She looked back up at the stairs ahead of her sighing then slowly turned around and started to follow him.

She went rather slowly and it took her several minutes to get all the way to the bottom. She stepped into the corridor and peaked around to the left, no one. She started to go right but she shrieked as she came chest to chest with Severus. She was startled and she panted in result. "Don't do that." She said breathlessly putting a hand to her heart.

"No one's there. Let's go." He said and they headed up the stairs again. She noticed he looked back every now and then. They climbed together all the way to the second floor landing where Seda went to the right. They said goodnight and she walked down the hallway. She thought about what she wanted to tell Hermione and then she remembered… Hermione.

She turned around and jogged to the end of the corridor, catching up with him, as he was half way up the next flight of stairs. "Wait." She called out. "I've just realized… when our we going to meet again?" She told Hermione she would write back about sufficient times.

He looked taken back and not expecting what she just said. He looked down at her with narrowed eyes from a few steps above her and said, "Miss Wood… what happened a few days ago, I think however the feelings were strong, should not be repeated for both our sakes." He looked serious and said this in a low voice.

Seda was stunned for a moment. She stared at him wondrously and then said slowly as if she had been completely obvious, "I meant The Sleep Aid… professor." She continued to stare at him wondering why he thought that's what she was talking about. He didn't think she was that persistent she hoped.

Comprehension dawned on his face and he felt, for the first time, dumbfounded. Of course that is what she meant, what was he thinking? "Oh yes, well, I suppose I can let you know tomorrow about a sufficient time." He stood there oddly, unsure of what to do or say next.

Seda nodded. "That's fine." She said slowly in awe, her mouth hanging open slightly. "Good night professor." She started backing away from him, except she was moving backwards as she was still facing him. Severus put one step on the stair below him as he watched her back away slowly, positively confused. She stepped off the bottom steps backwards; watching him, then turned and ran down the corridor to her rooms. Severus watched her go from the stairs, just as confused as she. '_Was it something I said_?' he thought. He stared after her absent figure for quite some time until he realized he was staring. He turned towards the stairs ahead of him and didn't look back.

When Seda reached the sanctuary of her rooms she leaned against the door, panting, trying to think over what just happened. She couldn't make out what he was thinking at the moment so she continued into the bedroom where she tossed her sweater and robe on the bed. She walked over to the desk and pulled out a piece of parchment and quill and then scribbled down a short note. She left it sitting out on the desk as she went into the bathroom, to take a long cold shower.

_ Hermione,_

I need to see you right away! Can you meet me for lunch in The Three Broomsticks at noon? I am in desperate need of some friendly, "woman to woman" advice. Please respond as soon as possible.

Thanks,

Seda


	27. A Mile Back

Um, let's just get right in to the chapter. Ok Toodles!

Seda,

Is something wrong? I'll meet you at noon today. I've got to hear about this "desperate need of womanly advice" See you later.

Take care,

Hermione

Seda waited near the fireplace, drumming her fingertips on the small round table. She was immensely eager about meeting Hermione today as there was so much she wanted to ask her. She blew a strand of hair out of her face and continued to wait.

At exactly twelve o'clock, Hermione came strolling into the pub with Madison in her arms. Seda waved her over and then pulled out a chair for her. Hermione had barely sat down after placing Madison in another chair next to her when Seda burst into speech. She was like a time bomb, ticking away, and then set off unexpectedly.

"Hermione, I can't stay long because I have class, but I need your opinion. And please let me finish before you bounce of the walls ok? This isn't easy for me but you must listen." She said low and quickly and in one breath. Her face was very serious.

Hermione looked like she had been ripped from a pleasant dream and thrown into a pool. She was confused and alert and she said, "Ok" Breathlessly. She sat up a little straighter.

Seda took a deep breath and then began in a very quiet voice. "The night I walked home from your house I met him out in the grounds. We had an argument… well an interaction and then we jinxed each other. I pinned him to the ground, kissed him while making a point and then I ran off. I guess he followed me because I had been in my rooms barely a minute and he showed up. When I opened the door he grabbed me kissed me and then one thing led to another. We almost… well you know, but we stopped. I fell asleep in his arms that night but I suppose he left after I did. That night I had another dream and I went to see him the next morning to show him the bruise on my chest. After breakfast when I was going up stairs I had some sort of attack and passed out. McGonagall took me to the Hospital Wing where I was unconscious for almost two days. Anyway, I left mended yesterday and served my detention with Snape last night. When he walked me to my rooms I asked him when we were going to meet again and he said something like even though the feelings were strong that night we shouldn't do it again for both our sakes, but I meant The Sleep Aid. It was an awkward moment and then I dashed away to write you a note. I couldn't stand there anymore, something came over me, and I wanted your advice." Seda finished as though this was a speech she had been planning for months. She stared at Hermione, waiting for signs of moral support.

Hermione's eyes had grown steadily wider as Seda's telling of the past few days went on. Finally she took a long, slow breath and then said, "Well, what part exactly did you want my advice on?" She said not sounding sarcastic at all.

Seda blinked. "What do you mean? All of it, I mean… you are the married girl here. I need help. What's going on? I don't understand what's happening between him and me. I mean… I like him, I respect him as a teacher and all… he's not as horrible as people think but he's so infuriating and he makes me so angry… yet I like it when I become angry at him, though I'm not sure what he thinks about-" She sounded frantic.

"Woah, hold on a second Seda." Hermione cut her off. "First of all you need think about what you are saying. Secondly, I think you already know what the answers are… you just don't know what you are asking. And thirdly… what attack? And what kind of bruise?" She became more demanding with her last question but she smiled softly and reassuringly. She crossed one leg over the other and began to tap her foot in midair. Madison was looking from one to the other as though she understood the conversation completely.

Through narrowed eyes and clenched teeth Seda said, "Just what are you saying?" She crossed her arms.

Hermione looked down at her daughter and stroked her small head. "It doesn't really matter what I think Seda, it's what you feel that matters. I could give you my honest opinion but it won't make the slightest bit of a difference if things are already running their course. So therefore it would be completely pointless."

"Ha!" Seda laughed. She sat back in the chair and crossed her own legs and tapped her foot too. With a determined look she said, "Try me."

Hermione straightened up and leaned forward so her elbows were resting on the table. She fixed her eyes on the American girl in front of her and said clearly," Ok, I'll try you." Seda waved one of her hands encouraging her to go on. "In my opinion it sounds like you are falling in love but you are scared of the consequences of this relationship. As for him I think he has very strong feelings for you too but he is more concerned about the well being of your emotions and safety then his or your feelings for one another. So in a way you are both eager to reach the other but at the same time pushing each other away because of your fears." She kept a confident gaze on Seda, waiting for her reaction.

Seda's mouth fell open. She didn't believe her ears. "Now, tell me about this attack and this bruise. We should probably record it in the analysis journal. Oh, by the way, when are we meeting again for another Sleep Aid session? Has he given you a date yet?" She didn't sound surprised at what she just pointed out to Seda at all but that this was merely her day job, to point out the painfully obvious and run with it. She smiled more.

"You think I'm a fool don't you, for even thinking about him. And I'm not in love with him." She completely ignored Hermione's interest in her bruise.

Hermione sat back in her chair. "I didn't say you _are_ in love with him. I said you are _falling_ in love with him. There's a difference." She sighed. "And I do not think you are a fool. The complicated emotions involved with love can cause someone to act foolishly but to love someone is not foolish at all. You're only human Seda, and the only thing foolish you can do is denying what you feel."

"But he's my teacher Hermione, it's wrong. And besides…" She looked away ashamed of what she was about to say. "He was a… he was…"

"A Death Eater?" Hermione finished for her. Seda looked back and nodded. "That's his past Seda and believe me when I say this, he has chosen to get as far as possible from that creature he thought he was. He was manipulated, tortured into following but he turned away at great risk to his life. Even though he will not let himself forget whatever he may have done he is no longer that person caught behind the hood. You shouldn't judge him because of that. And I know you really don't care about that, you are just making excuses for your feelings. And I told you before; he's not exactly your teacher and you are not underage. Neither of you, or anyone else, can control what feelings come up. You can now only restrict your actions."

Seda looked completely defeated. "But-" Hermione cut her off again. "And if you want another opinion, I think you were meant to be lost so he could find you. I think its fate and you can't change it."

"But I hardly know him. You can't fall in love with someone that fast and how do you know all this?" She scrunched her nose.

"You may not know every detail of his life but you understand him and that's a strong connection. As for falling in love, it can happen within the first second of meeting a complete stranger, you just know. I believe you already know you are in love with someone… you just have to find that person. And in your case it's him... trust me. He was meant to find you. And now will you please tell me about that attack you had so I can write it down." She finished impatiently.

Seda sat in Transfiguration hours later still thinking about what Hermione said. She was supposed to be practicing how to change a rabbit into a pair of slippers with the third years but she just couldn't concentrate. When she transfigured the rabbit into a pair of slippers that still had legs and hopped around the room McGonagall stepped over to Seda's desk. She looked up at the professor after summoning the hopping slippers to her and she came back to her senses. "Is something the matter? You normally don't have this lack of concentration. Are you ill?" She said sternly.

"No, I'm fine professor. I was just… never mind. I'm fine. I'll try harder." She gave her a false smile to prove she was ok. McGonagall didn't seem convinced but she walked away with a questioning expression. Seda returned to transfiguring the rabbit and proved more successful after not thinking about other things that distracted her.

She headed for dinner later that night after writing a History of Magic essay. As she walked into the Great Hall she passed the same seventh year Slytherin girls who were whispering about her before. The same blonde haired girl smirked as she came closer and when they were side by side she whispered in Seda's ear. "Have a nice detention last night?" It was in a horribly sarcastic voice. Seda stopped and gave her the most repulsive look she could find. She turned back to the Great Hall and walked quickly to her seat.

She sat in between Lupin and Snape as usual but she leaned in to Snape and whispered hurriedly, "I think I know who was in the corridor last night." She sat up and then poured herself some tea. He looked at her amazed almost.

"And what leads you to this knowledge?" She didn't look at him but she said, "Just several comments that have been made to me." She sounded very bitter.

He laid down his utensils and rested his hands on the table. "I cannot accuse someone if I do not have substantial evidence. What comments?" He sounded very interested.

She was cutting up her food as she spoke. "A few seventh year girls in your house have been acting strange towards me. One of them, I don't know her name, made a comment to me just now if _I had a nice detention last night_. She also said to me yesterday just before lunch that you seemed rather _concerned_ about me considering _I_ was not in your house. That's all." She took a bite of her steak.

"That is relevant I suppose, still I can not accuse any of them with out a solid reason." She looked at him in shock at what he just said. She swallowed quickly and said, "A solid reason? Didn't I just tell you what she said to me? If you are wondering, it sounds like they are very curious about meetings between us and I do not want it spread around the school that I'm seeing the Potions Master for more then just detention." She whispered dangerously with her mouth barely open.

He glanced down the staff table and looked back. He also lowered his voice to a whisper. "Unfortunately neither of us can stop rumors but it would become much more obvious if I was to start handing out detentions to any one who makes a silly comment to you."

She raised her eyebrows. "Rumors?" She continued to keep her voice down and she also rested her hands on the table. "I think it was more then just a silly comment. You just don't want to hand out detentions to your own house even when the circumstances are quite clear." She turned back to her plate and started mutilating her vegetables.

"That is not so Miss Wood. The circumstances are not clear as of right now and I don't hand out detentions to _anyone_ who has done nothing to deserve one. I do not favor my own house." Seda snorted at this. That was the biggest lie if she ever heard one and she rolled her eyes. He seemed to find this extremely irritating that she didn't argue back. "Just what exactly gives you the authority to undermine my statements Miss Wood? I do not tolerate anyone who feels the need to roll their eyes after-"

This time she finally got the chance to cut someone off and she was glad it was he. "I can express my opinions however I see fit and I have enough _authority_ to undermine anyone's point of view… even you." She still kept her voice low but strange glances were being directed their way.

"Point of view? You must have misunderstood me then. I clearly expressed-" She cut him off again. "_Clearly _you are too caught up in your own ego because you think any disagreement with your own self-concocted theories is a sin all itself." She could see his patience flying away. His eyes started to flash dangerously. A slight deep red rose over his face then it quickly drained away.

She didn't bother to keep her voice to a whisper that time. Several of the staff members looked down at the bickering pair. Lupin raised his eyebrows and McGonagall exchanged the most amusing and satisfied look with Dumbledore who looked rather pleased. Luckily none of the students had paid any attention. Seda threw down her napkin and stood up. She walked to the end of the table and then she turned back to say, "Hermione has agreed that next Saturday is fine with her. I'll be sure to tell her, unless you think that's too irrational on my part." She exited the Great Hall through a side door and left Severus sitting at the table with the members of the staff eyeing him curiously. It wasn't long before he departed from the Hall him self, taking another, safer, way out.

Seda was thankful when Saturday finally came. After eating a muffin during breakfast she left the castle and headed for Hogsmeade. She couldn't stand sitting in her rooms or the library trying to study, she needed to get out. Especially since quite a few Slytherins were now taunting her. Not just the older girls but a few of the boys as well. Except the boys seemed to be fascinated with her, they often almost harassed her into meeting them alone. She found it childish and scary at the same time, considering they were much more advanced in magic then she was. She tried to ignore them but it was becoming distracting.

She entered the village and strolled down the path, deciding where she should go first. She thought about going into a bookshop but she knew she would be in there forever so she walked by without even looking at it. She stopped outside the same shop that had all the owls and other animals. She considered how the cats might affect her but she thought if it was quick enough she would be ok. She walked inside and immediately wandered over to the wall perched with dozens of owls. She caught sight of the same little golden-feathered owl and it was still back in a corner by itself. She made calls at it to get its attention and it finally looked up from beneath its wing and blinked at her. It seemed like it recognized her because it hooted almost as if it were talking to her. She smiled.

"Hello little owl. Do you remember me?" It hooted quietly again. She moved in a bit closer. "I'm Seda, but I'm afraid I don't know yours." The owl continued to blink at her.

"I see she's finally looked at someone. Still fascinated with that owl are yeh?" The woman who owned the shop walked over to her. "Thinking about buying an owl today missy? She seems to like yeh?" She waved a hand towards the little owl. "First time she's ever looked at anyone."

Seda smiled again. She would really like to have an owl, she missed having a pet, but how much did they cost she wondered. "Does she have a name?" She asked.

"Nah. She never interacted much so there was never need to name her." Seda looked back at the tiny little golden ball of fluff. It was still looking at her and blinking. She was curious now. "Has she been here long?"

"Just about a year now. Someone found her abandoned and brought her to me. She was just a baby then. So, you think'n about buying her?" She seemed to want to get rid of her and was pressing Seda into it.

"Oh, I don't know. How much does it cost usually?" She really would like to buy her but a pet usually costs a good amount of money.

"Well…" The keeper said slowly. "It will cost yeh about ten galleons for the bird plus the cost of feeding and keeping her healthy. Well, I suppose she could hunt for her own food but they still like treats." She sounded encouraging.

Seda looked somewhat frightened at the amount of money but she knew it would be expensive. "Oh. Well, I think I'll need to think about it for a bit before I decide. You don't think someone will… buy her do you?" She asked nervously.

"Oh, I would bet yeh a thousand galleons that no one would even notice her. You go on and think about it and come in as often as you like. She would probably like some company." She smiled and then walked away to help a wizard looking at some rats.

She watched the owl as it stared at her and then she sighed. She was suddenly startled by a familiar voice. "Going to buy an owl?"

She turned around and was looking into the bright green eyes of one she'd met before, Harry Potter. "Oh, you scared me." She said catching her breath.

"Oh, sorry about that. We seem to run into each other here don't we?" He grinned.

"Yeah, I guess so. What are you doing here? Do you have a pet?" She asked curiously.

"Yes, I have an owl. I'm just picking up a few treats, I haven't seen her much and I feel guilty about it. So… which one are you going to take home?" He smiled.

Seda looked over her shoulder at the little owl in disappointment. "None, its just too much money right now. I'd really like to take home that little gold one but it's just too much. It's a shame though, the owner said no one wants her and she's always back in the corner by her self." She looked back at Harry who frowned slightly. "What kind of owl do you have?"

"A snow owl. Her name is Hedwig. I've had her for almost ten years now and in a way she knows me better then anyone else. They are amazing creatures."

"Oh, she must be beautiful." She sounded overjoyed. "Well, I really regret not buying her but maybe I can persuade my parents to give me money for my birthday and I can buy her then." She shrugged.

"Do you have a birthday coming up then?" He smiled encouragingly.

"In less then two weeks, October seventh. I can't believe it's been almost another whole year. It goes so fast. This year is obviously much different though for me." She was grinning.

"Yeah, I suppose it would be. Finding out you are really a witch, or wizard, is completely unreal until you finally experience it." He put his hands inside his pockets. "Are you… um… doing anything for your birthday? You know, with Hermione or anything." He sounded a bit awkward.

"I'm not sure yet. We talked about it vaguely but we haven't decided anything yet. I don't suppose it will be anything really considering she is about the only person I know here… well, besides you I guess." She tried to smile but it was also awkward.

"Well, there you go. Two people is better then one though isn't it?" He said happily.

"Ha, yeah I guess. Well… um, I should probably be going. My eyes are really starting to burn so I should get out of here." She realized she probably didn't make any sense so she quickly gestured towards the cats. "The cats, I mean… I'm allergic. Well, see you around Harry. It was nice seeing you again." Her eyes really were starting to burn and her throat was itchy.

"All right then. It was good to run into you again, we should do it more often. See you around, Seda." He smiled and gave a small wave and watched her walk out of the store with a smile spread across her face. She turned back at the door, waved and left.

She continued her afternoon in the village under the warmth of the sun. She visited a few more shops, stopped at a small café and did some work then around one o'clock she headed back for Hogwarts.

She noticed after returning to her rooms she had swells and hives from the cats. Her eyes were very bloodshot. She looked into the mirror and said, "Damn it… Just wonderful, I look like a radish." She nodded to her self. She knew she didn't have any allergy pills so she figured she should just go see Madame Pomfrey.

She walked to the infirmary as she scratched her arms and her neck. "Stupid cats." She said to her self and walked into the wing. "Madame Pomfrey?" She said aloud. No one answered. "Hello?" She said louder. Still no one answered. "Great, she must be at lunch." She said bitterly. There was no way she was walking through the Great Hall looking like this. She turned around and intended to head back up to her rooms when she collided with something very black and thick. "Agh" She moaned.

"Do you need glasses Miss Wood or are you unaware that you just walked into someone?" It was, of course, the low voice of Snape. How typical, just what she needed now… him, to be his usual sarcastic self.

"I didn't know you were behind me." She said stepping away while scratching her neck. "What are you doing here anyway?" She said not even trying to sound respectful.

He raised en eyebrow. "I'm supplying Madame Pomfrey with some potions. This time of year she will undoubtedly need them. Why are you here?" He said eyeing the redness of her neck and arms.

"I wanted to see her about some kind of allergy potion. I was in Hogsmeade looking at owls, and the cats… well, they affect me. I don't have any of my allergy medicine."

"I see. Well she is in the Great Hall eating lunch if you want to see her." He walked around her and towards a cabinet. He started to put potions away.

"I can't go in there looking like this. I'll just come back later." She continued to scratch.

Still putting potions away he said, "I advise you to stop scratching. It will just become worse." He said not sounding that interested anyway.

"Oh, right… but I - just - can't!" She yelled in frustration as she scratched more fiercely. "It's horrible!" She sounded desperate.

He closed his eyes for the briefest of seconds for strength and then said, "Come here." She looked puzzled. "Why?" She asked accusingly.

"Just do as your told, come here." He demanded and she didn't hesitate any longer. "Take this and dab it on the affected area. Not too much though, it's very powerful." He handed her a small vial of lavender liquid.

"How much is not too much?" She asked looking at it. "Like a few drops?"

"A drop will do." He said continuing to put potions away.

"What if I put on too much? What should I do?" She asked honestly and he looked at her like she was irritating him purposefully. "Well, I don't want to put on too much. You said it was powerful didn't you?" She was annoyingly persistent sometimes.

"Give it here." He said looking serious. She began to apologize, "I was just kidding... I can do it. You don't have to take it-" He cut in, "I'll do it for you." He said annoyed.

"Oh" She said defeated. She handed it over and he uncorked it. He put a tiny amount on his finger and nodded towards her neck. She pushed her hair out of the way and he dabbed it on her neck. She flinched and he looked up at her. "S-sorry. I'm really sensitive around my neck." She apologized sincerely. He pulled away after finishing one little area below her ear. "Um, there's more." She said slowly. She pulled at the collar of her shirt to reveal her collarbone and her shoulders. The redness continued to her upper back.

He gave her a questioning look and then put a few more drops on his fingertips. He bent in a little closer as he smoothed the liquid across her skin. He delicately pressed down her neck, along her collarbone, down her shoulders and across her back. Goosebumps were rising all over her body and she couldn't help but smile. She held her hair up with her hands and when he grabbed one of her wrists to lower them she shivered.

As he took hold of her arms to place them in front of him her hair fell neatly around her face and soft curls rested on her shoulders. He pushed up the sleeves of her robe and began to dab on more of the potion. She was very amused by the way his fingers gracefully glided along her skin, it was almost a tease. He gently brushed his hands along the inside of her arm just above her elbow and by reaction she pulled them away. She rubbed them vigorously as she looked at him and said, "I'm ticklish ok." She said defensively as he gave her the most satisfied expression.

She looked at her shoulder and the redness was gone. "Hey, it's going away." She sounded thrilled. "That potion really works." She said in awe to her self.

"That is its purpose." She couldn't tell if he was sincere or being sarcastic. She looked up at him beneath her lashes with her chin turned towards her shoulder and blinked several times, almost fluttering her eyelashes. It was a very flirty look he noticed but she didn't know she was doing it. Her hair fell across her face like a curtain and without thinking he reached out and pushed it behind her ear. He froze with his hand in her hair just realizing what he was doing. Seda closed her eyes briefly and whispered. "Don't stop."

She opened her eyes and he was looking at her strangely, almost frowning. "What?" She asked quietly, beginning to frown her self.

He looked away from her. "I… can't." He moved towards the cabinet and finished putting the potions away. She walked over to him and hesitantly put a small hand on his arm. "What is it?" She asked again, preparing her self for an explosion.

He slammed the cabinet door and it made her jump. She looked at him scandalized and he said, "It cannot be." He stepped away from her. "This has to stop. We cannot allow this anymore." She looked confused. He moved quickly towards her and grabbed her upper arms firmly, almost as if he was going to shake her. "Do you understand me? Enough." He said in a piercing whisper.

He looked angry but something in his eyes made her sad... they looked hurt. All she could do was stare at him and he shook with rage for a second and then he exited the infirmary, leaving her standing there, feeling lost and alone.

She stood in the dim room for several minutes alone with her head bowed to her chest. Why was it that every time they moved a centimeter forward they jumped back a mile she thought angrily to her self? Why?

"Seda? Are you all right dear?" She heard Madame Pomfrey behind her. She nodded with her head still bowed and then she turned quickly and left the wing as fast as she could, a single glimmering tear falling down her cheek.


	28. The Worst Birthday Gift

Sorry, haven't updated yet. I went to the beach and of course became a little bit more crisp then desired but I'm recovering. Oh well, I have a nice tan now. Alrighty let's get right into the chapter. Toodles!

* * *

_She stood at the edge of the lake watching the fog swirl around as it devoured her in complete silence. The lightest breeze blew across her face and whispered in her ear. Distantly she could hear someone calling her name and she needed to find it. As the smoky clouds around her began to draw away like a curtain she could see far in the distance a black figure floating in the middle of the lake. It was calling her. She took a step closer and paused; she was scared of what would happen. It called her again more desperately this time and she took another step. The cold, rippling water turned hard as glass as she stepped onto it, smooth as satin and warm as a pleasant fire. She glided across the surface and the figure became clearer. It extended a hand and she tried to reach for it, she needed its touch. She moved closer and she touched its hand but it was a strange sensation. It was like the feeling when your foot falls asleep and it becomes so numb it begins to hurt. That feeling was rushing all over her body and shooting horrible pains to her chest, but she needed to be closer to it. She tried to ignore the pain and look into the eyes of the dark stranger but its face was blurry. She moved another hand up to its hood and tried to feel for any hint of who it was but another jolt of electrifying pain surged through her body. She began to panic and she tried to cry out but nothing escaped her lips, only a cry in her heart._

_

* * *

_

Hermione and Severus sat at his desk waiting for any sign of what was happening in Seda's dream. Hermione glanced over to the couch and her hopes had been answered. Severus must have also noticed because he was already walking around the desk and towards the couch. Hermione quickly sprang from her chair and followed.

Seda was beginning to twitch and slowly her right arm was rising in front of her, as though reaching for something. When it was directly above her chest she gave a satisfied gasp, clearly finding what she was searching for. Slowly her other arm was rising up from her side and when it became parallel to her other arm she began to whimper. She sounded like she was scared of something.

They glanced at each other as her cries became more desperate. "Seda…" Hermione said softly. "Seda what's happening? Can you tell us?" She continued to ask her softly. Seda was now whining like a lost puppy, positively frightened of something or someone. She was moving her lips but barely a sound of any word was heard. "What is it Seda? What are you saying?" Hermione continued.

She moved her lips again and in the faintest voice she said, "N… no… I can't." She jerked her head to one side trying to escape something and scrunched her face in terror. She gave another gasp but this time it was more of a shriek in pain. She moved her hands to her chest and pressed firmly over her heart while continuing to whimper in pain.

"What do you think is happening to her?" Hermione looked over at Snape who was watching the terrified girl on the couch. He moved one hand towards Seda's collar and gently pulled at the material to reveal bruising skin just over her heart. Hermione gasped in horror and bent over to see more clearly. A deep red and purple bruise was appearing in a very strange shape over Seda's heart and becoming darker by the second. "What is that?" Hermione asked petrified.

"I don't know exactly. It was there before though not this strong." He answered distantly. He let go of her shirt and sat back in his chair continuing to study closely as the effects of the dream took over the tiny body in front of him.

* * *

_Without warning the surface beneath her feet gave way and she was falling into the icy cold water. She screamed out for help but the mysterious figure watched as she was carried off into the black oblivion and gasped for air. She desperately tried to kick to reach the surface but every inch of her body was frozen and she began to lose her desire to go on. She gave up hope and watched as she was taken further into darkness and the figure became less visible. A horrible pain in her heart took over her and she couldn't even feel that she was suffocating as she drowned. Soon everything was black and she saw no more but it took an eternity for her to finally die in sorrow and despair._

_

* * *

_

They sat and watched waiting for another sign and all to soon they got one. Seda screamed out suddenly as her body contracted in fits of pain. She started gasping for air in short intakes and also began to cry uncontrollably.

Hermione sat on the edge of her chair gripping the wooden arms so hard that her knuckles were white and her face full of horror not believing what she was seeing. "I think she's had enough. We should wake her up." She said slowly.

"We can't. It will only confuse her and cause her more distress." He also moved forward slightly. "Tell us what is happening Miss Wood." He said firmly, eyes fixed on the horrid scene in front of him.

She only cried harder as she continued to find air. In between each breath she said shakily, "Help - me - don't - leave - please." She was shaking now and Goosebumps were covering her entire body. Hermione narrowed her eyes trying to understand what she meant. Severus continued, "Where are you?" He said more concerned.

Her lips were turning blue as well as her fingers. She opened her mouth to say something but it was impossible to hear because all that came out was a breath that was so cold you could see it, as if it were below freezing. "I think she's… dying." Hermione said sadly. Seda's teeth began to chatter like she was cold and slowly her gasps for air were stopping and so were the convulsions. Her arms fell limply to her sides and her head rolled onto one shoulder. She shook for another moment and then stopped. Nothing moved, not even her chest.

Severus widened his eyes in shock. Hermione screamed and looked at him wildly yelling, "She's not breathing!" She stood up out of her chair and moved to the lifeless girl, pulling out her wand.

"Wait." He said calmly though sounding slightly shaken. "Just wait a moment." He stood up too, staring down at the faintly blue girl. He pulled out a potion from inside robes, preparing to pour it down her mouth. Hermione touched Seda hesitantly on the cheek with a finger and pulled away quickly. "She's ice cold" She said breathlessly.

He bit off the cork and moved his hand nearer to her face when she suddenly snapped open her eyes and struggled to breathe. "Seda? Thank god, you're all right." Hermione said sighing, her eyes filled with tears.

Severus stood up straight and examined Seda closely. Her eyes were glossy and pale, not sparkling like crystals as they normally did. She stared out in front of her, not seeing anyone around her. She coughed several times like she was choking and then very eerily she moved her head towards Severus. He couldn't tell if she was really looking at him because her eyes were so glazed but he had the oddest sensation she was. He felt like he could almost hear her voice in his head pleading him to help her. She stared silently for a minute and then she innocently began to cry. She rolled over into a ball and sobbed into her chest.

He replaced the cork on the vial and stuffed it back in his robes. He walked over to his desk as Hermione pulled a blanket over Seda. He sat down and pulled a journal towards him then scribbled down several notes. A few minutes later Hermione sat down across from him. "Well, the effects seem to be about the same. Except for the bruise on her chest, that's new. Have you written that down?" She didn't sound like she really wanted to talk about it but she was being forced to.

He nodded as he snapped the journal shut. They both didn't say anything for a while until Hermione spoke. "What do you think that bruise is? I mean, do you think something is physically harming her?"

He didn't answer right away. He was thinking about hearing her voice in his head, pleading for help. He looked up at her and said, "No." She looked at him confused and said, "No? What do you mean?"

He rubbed his head with his fingers as he said, "I don't think anything is physically harming her. I believe it is a sign of emotional distress. She must be feeling some kind of particularly strong loss because that bruise is becoming more prominent. I couldn't say what loss that is, it is still too early to tell, but it is becoming much more effective and she is aware of it. We need to have her to tell us what she is seeing as it happens or we will go no further in this experiment, it will be utterly pointless."

"Ok, how do we get her to tell us? Won't that confuse her?" She glanced back at the half sleeping half sobbing girl on the couch. "How much more do you think she can handle though? Look how much more it's affected her already, she nearly died."

"She only thinks she is dying. We must lead her away from those unconscious thoughts where primal fear takes over. It will take time and patience or this will be much too tiring on her body I'm afraid."

Hermione nodded in agreement. For another few minutes they sat in silence. They both were too caught up in their own thoughts to talk. "Some birthday gift this is for her. I hope she'll be well by then."

He looked up at her. "How do you mean?" He asked curiously. What birthday he thought.

"Her birthday… it's Thursday the seventh. I meant that I hope she will be all right by then, I was planning to take her out that night."

"I see." He looked out the window. "You do know she has class the following day don't you? She shouldn't be out late."

A very strange thought came to Hermione and she smiled wickedly to her self. She raised her eyebrows at him and said, "Well well. I didn't think that her social life would matter to you." She had a great eagerness to press him into this conversation about whom she had already given advice to about… certain things. She squared up her shoulders and sat a little straighter.

"Don't be silly. I have absolutely no interest in her social life. She is free to do what she pleases. I only express concern about her lack of concentration in class if she were to be out all night." He continued to look out the window.

Pure mischief was racing through her body now. "Oh, well then I'll be sure to have her tucked into bed by eight o'clock professor." She grinned.

He threw her a look of warning that she was pressing his patience. "Do not be cheek with me Miss Grang - Mrs. Weasley." He corrected himself. "You certainly have become slightly more outspoken then your schooldays, however you were never one to hold your tongue then either." He smirked at her.

She looked at him as though he was being completely childish. "I only spoke up because you never called on me in class, even if I was the only one with my hand raised. You deliberately ignored me because you knew I would know the answer. Besides, I wasn't being _cheek_ with you, I'm well past that stage thank you." She continued to grin. Her curiosity was taking hold of her. "So, any suggestions?"

"As to what?" He said annoyed. She took this as an invitation to go on, and she did. "About her birthday of course. I can't really decide what I should give her. I know she loves books, like me, so that's always a possibility. She got me one on Ancient Egyptian magic that I had been wanting. What do you think?" She was clearly trying to get him to talk about her without him realizing it.

"And why do you ask me? You are the one that she considers a _friend._" He sounded slightly defensive.

"Oh, I don't know really. Well, you see her more then I do obviously so wouldn't you know her interests by now." She was positively smug.

"Though relatively new this may be to you, I do not take time to learn the unnecessary interests of my students on a personal level." His voice was smooth.

A firework went off in her head. This was opening up a whole realm of possibilities. "Oh, you must know something about her that I don't. And she's not exactly a true student you know, she's not underage, she's an adult."

"I teach her and she learns from me, therefore the relationship is teacher and student." Normally he would have been so annoyed with her by now he would have asked her to leave… but he didn't. He didn't really mind discussing Seda with Hermione. Strange.

"Relationship?" She smiled and he glared at her, "You know perfectly well what I mean." He said irritated. She went on, "So, her interests… she said she is particularly fond of potions actually." She shrugged but hoped he would lighten up a little. That was near impossible though and she laughed to her self.

"Is that so?" He sounded mildly impressed. "She does prove to be skilled in the area no doubt. I believe she is fascinated by it but I couldn't tell you more then that."

"Well that's good isn't it? Looks like you two have something in common, both fascinated by the same subject and skilled in the same area." She tried not to sound too thrilled with what she was saying. She liked being the messenger between them. It was… fun. She felt like a schoolgirl, though she never acted like this when she was young.

"I suppose. Is there a purpose to this discussion or are you just trying to make conversation?" He finally said, his annoyance getting to him.

"Well there is nothing wrong with conversation Snape. I just thought you could tell me what you knew about her considering you've known her longer." She argued back.

"Well forgive me, but I do not know the interesting details of her life." He said rather calmly. He didn't know what to tell Hermione that would benefit her unless she considered the color and beauty of Seda's eyes and the way they changed with her emotions. The way her hair fell neatly and softly around her shoulders. The way she embraced him once with desperate need and he was her survival, the softness of her skin, and the innocence in her smile. If that mattered to Hermione then he would gladly tell her.

Hermione sighed. "I don't know why you always become so tense when ever someone wants to talk to you. It's a normal thing you know, talking without judgment."

"Then you'll be sorry to hear that I do not like to talk openly." He sneered and she replied, "I already know that. I just thought you might be different since… never mind." She looked away from him and towards Seda who was now sleeping.

"Since what?" He said accusingly. He too looked over at Seda.

Hermione shook her head. "It doesn't matter." She stood up. "Shall I bring her up to her room or do you want to leave her here? I think she's all right now." She walked towards the couch.

"It would probably be best if we do not disturb her. It may take time for her to completely fall out of the dream stage. Just leave her be. She's fine."

"Fine. Well, I should be heading home. I know Ron hasn't put Madison to sleep yet and she should have been two hours ago. Good night professor." He nodded and she left.

He walked around the room extinguishing the candles. Instead of heading to his own bedchamber he walked behind his desk and sat there, watching her sleep in the flicker of the remaining fire dying out slowly in the grate. Soon it was completely burned out and he continued to watch her in the darkness. Moonlight was glowing down upon her and it framed her like a spotlight, she was beautiful still.

Seda blinked open her eyes and found she was in complete darkness except for the light of the moon surrounding her. Her eyes searched the room and there was no one there. She felt completely lost and alone and a dull throbbing was stinging her heart. She pulled the blanket up to her chin and squeezed her eyes shut. She began to cry for some reason and she didn't even know that Severus was still watching her, releasing her emotions as quietly as she could.

He noticed she was crying and he wanted to sit by her side and comfort her but he couldn't let himself. He painfully watched as she suffered through some unknown sorrow and cried her self to sleep. This time she was aware she was crying and not because of a dream. He hated him self for this but he just couldn't risk what may happen.

* * *

Seda woke up on her birthday feeling joyous and excited. She took an extra long shower, letting her self indulge in the tranquility. She added an extra touch to her hair that day, so it was extra shiny and bouncy and the curls and waves were more noticeable yet subtle. She put on her Hogwarts uniform and robe then headed for breakfast after grabbing her book bag.

She arrived at the table smiling humbly and she had barely sat down when the post owls began to zoom in, delivering parcels and letters. She poured herself a glass of orange juice when two owls flew down and rested on her plate, both holding letters in their beaks. She looked around surprised; she had never received an owl post before in the morning. She shrugged and took them.

The first letter was from her parents. They sent her a birthday card with some money in it. She was thankful actually because now she really considered buying that owl. The second letter was from Hermione. She also sent her a card and told her to be waiting in the Entrance Hall at seven o'clock.

Satisfied she put the letters and cards in her bag and continued her meal. Several of the staff wished her Happy Birthday and she thanked them happily. She noticed Severus had not been at breakfast yet and she strangely wanted to see him but she had to go to class. She left and headed for Defense Against the Dark Arts wishing she had seen him.

Before lunch Seda stopped at her room to change books. She entered the bedroom and dropped her bag in a chair then headed for the bathroom. She walked halfway to the sink when she paused and then walked backwards out of the bathroom. She turned and stared wide eyed at the bed. She blinked several times trying to focus her eyes as if they were broke and moved towards the bed.

On it sat a large object covered in a cloth with a string tied around it like a bow. She hesitantly reached out a hand to touch it and when nothing happened she untied the string. She pulled off the cloth and there sat a cage with a tiny, almost golden-feathered owl inside with a letter tied to its leg.

She gasped in amazement and the little owl hooted at her gleefully. It fluffed its feathers and blinked. Seda immediately opened the cage and stuck her arm inside. The little owl, slightly bigger then her hand, hopped on her arm and she pulled her out. She raised her arm to eye level, still amazed. "Hello there. Where did you come from?" She was very excited. The owl merely hooted. Seda rubbed her head and she closed her eyes, enjoying Seda's touch.

She set the owl on top of the cage and untied the letter. She opened it and it read,

Seda,

I wasn't sure what to give you for your birthday but I thought you might like this owl. I hope you enjoy her as much as I know she will enjoy having you for a friend. Hope you have a great one. Happy Birthday!

Best Wishes,

Harry J. Potter

"Wow!" Seda said extremely thrilled. "He shouldn't have done that though. It was too much money." She said worried and the owl hooted. She sat down on the bed and looked at the letter sadly. "How can I ever repay him for this?" Again, the owl hooted. She looked at her and smiled. "Well, I suppose you'll need a name. You are a girl aren't you?" The owl blinked.

"Hmm… how about…" She thought about a suitable name. It was much more difficult when she had a million names to choose from. "Alida? That's Latin for small and winged." The owl didn't do anything. "Ok, um, let me see… I know. It's perfect… Aura!" She said excitedly. The owl hooted enthusiastically. Seda smiled. "That's Latin also but it means golden. I think that suits you doesn't it?" She hopped and rustled her tiny wings.

"Well Aura, unfortunately I have to go to class but I'll be back later. I'll leave you out of your cage so you can become familiar with the room, but don't fly out the window ok?" It was strange talking to an owl but she had the feeling she understood every word. "See you later." She grabbed the books she needed and left for lunch.

The day was going by rather quickly and before she knew it seven o'clock was coming ever closer. She had changed out of her school robes and put on ones she had never worn yet. They were of deep blue velvet and gold embroidery around the hems. Underneath she wore dark jeans and a dusty blue silk blouse. She twisted half of her hair into a knot at the back of her head and the rest fell gracefully around her shoulders.

She saved a few pieces of meat and bread from lunch and gave them to her new owl. She said good-bye and then headed for the Entrance Hall. When she stepped onto the landing at five to seven, most of the students were already in the Great Hall eating dinner; only a few stragglers were left. She paced around near the hourglasses and waited.

"Hi birthday girl." She heard a familiar voice from behind her. Hermione was walking towards her from a corridor near the dungeons.

"Hi. I was expecting you to come in the front." She smiled. "So, what are we doing?" She asked curiously.

"I can't tell you yet, it's a surprise." She grinned. "Well, come on. We should get going." She led the way, back to the corridor where she came from. They walked past the dungeons just as Snape was coming out. Hermione said hello and he stared at them as they walked on. Seda turned her head over her shoulder and saw that he was standing still watching them walk away. He was looking right at her and she smiled softly and then waved at him, knowing he wasn't going to wave back. She watched him for another moment then turned back towards Hermione and hurried to her side.

Hermione led her out onto the grounds but began to lead her down hundreds of stairs, leading to a small boathouse. "Hermione, where are we going?" Seda asked again, hurrying down the never-ending steps. "You'll see in a minute." She answered.

The sun was low in the sky now, preparing to set for the day. A gentle breeze was caressing their skin. Hermione stepped off the last step and walked around the small dock. Seda followed her to a small boat tied to a wood post. "Get in." Hermione encouraged her with a smile. Seda got in and so did Hermione. She flicked her wand at the rope and it magically untied itself and the boat began to move smoothly out into the lake. Seda looked around amazed.

The boat sailed out into the middle of the lake and they were now in the shadow of the gigantic mountains. It was much darker now and strange little orbs of light were floating around them. Hermione smiled and she said, "Ok, turn around." Seda turned around in her seat and gasped. Behind her was the most beautiful view she had ever scene. The castle was lit up in the distance with tiny specs of light glowing from the inside, the mountains were resting next to it and just behind that was a glorious sunset. It was a radiant golden red-orange and a soft, pale yellow lingered in the sky just above it. Shades of pink and purples were covering the horizon and the distant glitter of stars was twinkling down at them. "Hermione… this is amazing." She said completely breathless and almost speechless. She shook her head. "I've never… seen anything like this."

"I thought you might enjoy it." She said happy Seda enjoyed the view. "I also got you this." Seda turned around as Hermione pulled out a brown package. Seda looked completely stunned. "You didn't have to give me anything. This was enough." She said sincerely.

"No, really. Take it, I want you to have it." She pushed it into her hands. Seda looked down at it. "What is it?" Hermione laughed, "Well open it silly." Seda unwrapped it and she uncovered a faded leather bound book, with a buckle strap to keep it closed. Labeled in gold letters it read, **_'When you know Love is more than Magic' By Miranda Lansky._**

"She's an excellent writer and I think you'll really enjoy it. I think this book will help you a lot. I've read it many, many times so I practically know it by heart. I want you to have it." She smiled. Seda was speechless.

"This is… wonderful. I don't know what to say Hermione, I really don't. I wasn't expecting anything like this for my birthday, honestly. How can I thank you enough?"

"You don't have to, but I'll tell you what. If you read that book and refer to it then I'll be pleased. Normally I don't read things like that… but it's different. I think it's really honest and truthful, not a bunch of rubbish like silly magazine articles. It's very inspirational I think, and you'll definitely come to use it, trust me."

"Oh, thank you again. This…" She gestured behind her. "Everything is wonderful." They sat there for several minutes chatting about the book and other articles until Seda looked down at the book again and sighed. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah." Hermione said. She continued to keep her head down as she spoke. "Do you think… that… maybe… do you think there's a chance between us, him and me?"

"Oh." Hermione sounded surprised. "Well, I suppose I would have to say, yes there is."

"Do you really mean that or are you just saying it?" Hermione leaned over and rested her elbows on her knees. "Yes, I honestly mean that. Don't you remember what I told you before? Maybe you should start reading that book now." She tried to laugh.

"But, you don't see him when he's around me. Sometimes he is completely wonderful, and those few times we kissed it was magical, then other times he seems completely furious at the whole situation. He constantly tells me what ever is happening is wrong and it has to stop but little things keep happening. I can't help it, they just do."

"What little things? Tell me about it." Hermione encouraged her. Seda looked out at the lake, watching the reflection of the moon in the water. "Well, sometimes it's just the way he looks at me. It could be for the slightest of seconds but it feels like an eternity that I never want to end. Something in his eyes always fascinates me. And then just the way he touches me by mistake or not realizing he's doing it… it feels so warm and comforting yet it sends chills down my body. Is that normal? And sometimes when we argue I actually enjoy it. Why is that?" She had a lot of questions and she didn't know where to start.

Hermione smiled again. "I see. Yes, it's normal… when you are falling in love with someone. I've told you before. These sorts of feelings cannot be controlled; you can only try to stop the actions… if you want to that is. I don't think these things are just happening by mistake, its meant to be Seda."

They talked for over an hour as they floated out in the middle of the lake and sometime after nine they walked up to the castle together and said their goodbyes. When Seda walked into the bedroom another package was sitting on her bed. "Again?" She said surprised. "Aura, did you see this?" She asked as the little owl fluttered down to her shoulder. She rubbed her head and she hooted.

"Well, I might as well open it." She pulled off the brown paper and out fell two books. She gasped in excitement, she had read these before and enjoyed them immensely. They were both of potions that she often read when she was in Snape's office during private lessons. There was no note enclosed but she had a hunch on which person they were from. She opened the cover of each one and on the first page they were both marked **'Property of: _Severus Snape_'**

For some reason she felt even happier then she had five minutes ago, when she returned from her wonderful evening with Hermione. She didn't know he knew about her birthday, or that he would even care, and she most surely was not expecting a gift from him. She looked at the books like they were the most precious diamonds and she held them to her chest, too excited for words. She thought about writing him a thank you note and sending Aura down to deliver it, but as she wrote half of it something didn't feel right.

"Aura stay here. I'll be back in a little bit." She left her rooms and headed exactly where she intended, to the dungeons. She knocked on his office door and waited. She knew exactly what she wanted to say but when he opened the door she couldn't speak. She looked at him for a moment and when he lowered his eyebrows in question she smiled.

"Um… thanks." That was all she could say. That's not how she planned it but that was all that came out. He always made her lose her head slightly.

"You came all the way down here just to tell me that?" He stared down at her. She shook her head. "N-no. I actually had several other things I wanted to say but I… forgot." She continued to smile at him and he became curious. "Can I… come in for a minute?"

He hesitated for a moment then stepped to the side and closed the door behind him. She faced him and said, "I didn't know you knew it was my birthday professor." He didn't say anything but stood where he was and stared at her. She bit her lip and then walked over to a chair opposite his. She walked around it slowly while dragging her index finger along the top. "Those books are really wonderful. How did you know I admired them so much?"

He inclined his head as he watched her trace the chair with a lone finger, then he folded his arms in his robes. "A lucky guess." He said smoothly. She stopped and looked at him over her shoulder. She watched him watching her for a moment then continued around the chair when she finally gripped the back of it with both hands. She took a deep breath and raised her shoulders as she said, "Well, I really appreciate them. That means a lot to me, if you didn't know." She exhaled and continued to watch him; he was still watching her like an animal searching for prey.

"Well…" She looked down at her hands and tapped her fingers on the velvet chair. "I just wanted to thank you. I should go now." She hesitated before she moved out from behind the chair and headed for the door. She smiled when she was next to him and said, "Thanks again." She was truly sincere. She opened the door quickly and exited.

She sighed as she walked down the dark dungeon corridor. She had been happy before but now she felt a little disappointed. She continued to walk down the hall slowly, almost moping. She heard a hiss behind her and she turned her head quickly to see what it was. She couldn't see anything. She turned around and continued to walk, slightly faster.

"Going so soon?" Came a deep unfamiliar voice. She turned around quickly and saw three Slytherin boys, the same ones who had been taunting her before, emerge out of the shadows. She looked at all of them then turned around and continued down the corridor. "What's wrong Seda, are we not good enough for you?" She didn't answer them but walked faster. "Or do you just prefer our Head of House instead?" One of them said coldly. "It's all right. We won't tell him if you want, we can keep this as our little secret. What do you think Seda? Interested?" They were malicious.

She turned around and glared at them. "I wouldn't consider you even if you were the last species in the universe. Grow up." She threw them a nasty look and continued down the corridor. "You had better show us some respect." One of them hissed angrily.

"I'd show the mud on my shoes more respect then you." She said as she walked even faster. She was nervous now. She always had mistrust for men since she was young, and being followed by three magical ones was slightly horrifying.

"Why you little bitch." She heard one of them hiss at her. She was losing her temper now. She whipped around to shout at them for insulting her when a flash of red light came flying at her and something cut her cheek like a knife. She gasped and immediately pressed her hand to her face. She was bleeding. "Who is going to be respected now you filthy…" The middle one jinxed her again and she went toppling over backwards, she couldn't move. "… Little…" He flicked his wand at her again and her clothes were ripped at every seam. "… Whore." They were crouching over her and she couldn't even scream. All she could see were the their evil, hateful eyes looming over her. She wished she would just black out.

* * *

"Miss Wood? What happened?" She heard a familiar voice somewhere around her. She blinked open her eyes and Snape's face was barely a foot from hers. Every inch of her body was in a dull throbbing pain. She was laying on the cold stone floor somewhere and it was still dark. She stared at him, terrified. The last thing she remembered were those three boys taking their turns with her and then hitting her with more jinxes.

She couldn't look at anyone, she felt dirty and ashamed. She whipped her head away from him and crouched into a ball, crying. "What happened to you?" He demanded. She couldn't even speak. All she could was sob. "Miss Wood, you must tell me." He demanded still, but in a very concerned voice.

In between each sob she cried, "I… can't." She was absolutely hysterical. She felt completely betrayed and if though she were nothing more then a piece of raw meat.

He continued to stare down at her, horrified. Her clothes were torn everywhere and she was bleeding in several places. He had a feeling he knew what happened and he was beyond furious. Someone had slaughtered her and left her here to rot basically. He tried to touch her head to see how bad the cut was but she covered her head with an arm. "Don't touch me." She begged him.

"I'm going to help you. Just let me take you to the Hospital Wing. You'll be fine." He tried to sound reassuring but he knew it wouldn't work. She was petrified. "Noooooo…" She sobbed. "I… don't… want… anyone… to know." She tried to speak in between each gasp for air.

"I have to get you help." He said again. He draped his cloak over her then leaned in close and scooped his arms underneath her crumpled body. He lifted her and when he stood straight she began to object. "No… please… I don't want to go… to the Hospital Wing… please… stop." She tried to get away from him but she was too weak. He would levitate her but he feared any more spells on her body would put her in shock. He walked down the corridor and then up the stairs. The whole time she was begging him not to take her but there was nothing neither she nor he could do. He felt horribly guilty about what happened.

He was thankful, for her sake, that it was past midnight and no one was around to see her like this. He thought it was strange that she had been here less then two months and she had paid the Infirmary several visits already. He walked through the doors and called out for Madame Pomfrey. She came hurrying over and when she saw him carrying a hysterical Seda with a cloak draped over her she didn't really need to ask what happened.

He laid her on a bed and she was still crying hysterically. He turned to Madame Pomfrey and said very quietly, "I am certain she was raped. I'm going to the Headmaster, but it would be best if no one else finds out." She nodded and he left quickly.


	29. Maybe It's My Fault

Forgive me for the gift I gave Seda on her Birthday, but it was something I had to do. I know, it was brutal, but it will work out in the end. Thanks to all reviewers! And if you have been reading this and not reviewing, PLEASE REVIEW! I love to hear feedback, good or bad, it helps a lot. I realize I make mistakes and not always catch them, but that's where replies help. Sometimes when I go through the chapters I see the mistakes and hit myself on the head. It's much more difficult then it seems to write a story, but it's so fun. I highly recommend it. Toodles!

* * *

Seda stared straight ahead, not making so much as a whisper. The events of Thursday night had shaken her so badly she found it hard to speak to anyone. The only people who knew of course were Snape, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Madame Pomfrey and the three animals that did it to her. She spent much of Friday in the Hospital Wing under Pomfrey's watchful eye, but she was summoned to the Headmaster's office for some sort of meeting in the late afternoon.

McGonagall was sitting to her right, and she avoided her eyes. She felt like she couldn't even look at anyone. They were waiting for Dumbledore to return with Snape so they could discuss further details, but she dreaded it. Having to relive what happened to her would be almost as painful as when it happened, but they needed to know who had done it and what possessed them to do it.

She noticed McGonagall glancing over at her, concern etched all over face, but Seda tried her best to ignore it. She felt safer when she was alone in her own world, no one could touch her there or ask her questions. She continued to stare straight ahead, right at Dumbledore's chair, rarely blinking until her eyes stung with dryness. She had her arms as close together as possible and her hands folded, so tight they were white, on her lap. She thought if she could mold her body as tightly as she could she would feel more secure, but it didn't help.

She heard the door open behind her and she knew Dumbledore had returned with Snape. Dumbledore walked behind his desk and gestured Snape to sit down. He sat down on Seda's left, but she didn't look at him, she still gazed forward. Dumbledore sat down and her eyes were level with his chin. She was glad; she didn't want to look him in the eye.

"You all very well know why we are here. As unfortunate as this is we must take everything into consideration and try to deal with this effectively as possible." He folded his hands on the table in front of him. "Severus, you had the earliest encounter with young Seda, you brought her to the Hospital Wing correct?"

She heard Snape speak, "Yes Headmaster, I did." She saw Dumbledore nod and he told him to recall what he saw. Snape went on. "Vaguely around nine thirty Miss Wood came to my office to thank me for the books I gave her and a few minutes later she left. At twelve thirty I exited my office, heading to the library for a book I needed as reference. I walked down the corridor and found Miss Wood, passed out and wounded on the floor in a corner. I asked her what had happened but she couldn't say. I then brought her to the Hospital Wing where I left her in Poppy's care and alerted you Headmaster." Dumbledore nodded again, agreeing. "And you have no idea who the young man was?" Snape replied, "No Headmaster."

Dumbledore looked at Seda, she knew it was coming, but she continued to stare straight ahead, imagining she was by herself. "Seda, I must ask you, do you know who did this?" She couldn't answer, it was too hard to speak. "Was it a member of Slytherin House?" He said again still calm. He must have known it was difficult for her.

Without realizing it she said robotically, "No" In a very soft voice. Dumbledore went on patiently. "He was not a member of Slytherin House?" His voice was still calm but slightly surprised. Again she said robotically, "Yes, they were." She could feel the sudden stares of McGonagall and Snape on her but she continued to look forward with a stone gaze.

"There were two of them Seda?" Dumbledore continued. Seda took a moment to answer. It felt like there was a lump in her throat the size of a golf ball. She blinked and said, very bitterly, "Three." Hate was surging through her body and flying out in darts from her eyes. She heard McGonagall gasp. "Three?" She cried to Dumbledore. "That's inhuman Albus." She said half shaken and half angry.

"Seda do you know their names? One of them at least?" He sounded a bit fiercer having heard there were three of them. She didn't answer but shook her head once. Her eyes were burning with pain. "All right." He said calmly. "Now I must ask you… to tell me what happened. Take your time, there is no need to rush." He said softly, though his voice was not its usual misty self.

She stared for several minutes, not knowing what to say or where to even start. She gripped her hands tighter and she felt the tears begin to form in her eyes. She tried to blink to keep them from falling but when her lips began to tremble she couldn't hold in her emotions. She let out a small sob and then she hunched over onto her knees, buried her face in her hands and cried silently.

"Seda… its all right child. If you cannot retell the events right now it can wait. I am not going to force you to speak if it's too difficult." She heard Dumbledore say. McGonagall started to speak to the Headmaster quietly. "I cannot believe this Albus, three of them... and in this very castle. I would never in my wildest thoughts consider such brutality from our students, never." Her voice was shrill and shaken. "How could this happen?"

She could hear Dumbledore and McGonagall talking quietly as she cried silently. She hadn't heard Snape say anything since he was asked to but she had that feeling that he was watching her out of the corner of his eye.

"Seda." Came Dumbledore's soft voice. "If you wish, you may go back to you rooms and we can continue this at a later time." He said quietly. Seda sniffed and she looked up from her hands. She hiccupped and said very quietly, "No, I'll… tell you." She wiped the tears from her face and sat up, but she kept her head down. "I - I don't know where you want… me to start." Her voice was extremely hollow, like it wasn't her own. "What ever is easiest for you Seda, that is a start." Dumbledore said slowly.

She took a deep breath then started to retell the heinous events with her head down. She told him how she left Snape's office and they emerged from the shadows, taunting her. She went on how they followed her down the corridor, how they called her a name that caused her to stop and scorn them but before she could say anything one of them jinxed her and a cut was issued on her face. She also said that they jinxed her so she collapsed to the ground, unable to move. She painfully told him how they all advanced on her and then dragged her to a corner and ripped her of her innocence, her sacredness. She paused as the visions cam soaring through her head. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to continue. "They just… treated me like I was worthless. Like I was meat they could use willingly. They… all took their turns… threw hexes at me… and I finally blacked out." She took another painful breath and stared at the floor, wishing it was all a nightmare.

It was quiet for a minute; clearly everyone was taking in what she just, reluctantly, told them and trying to realize the severity of the unfortunate event. "Have they ever harassed you before?" Dumbledore asked her. She nodded. "Did you tell someone?" She quickly moved her eyes towards Snape to look at him but looked back at her hands and shook her head. It was quiet for another minute until Dumbledore looked up at Snape and McGonagall. "Well, if what Seda says is true, I believe what we have to do now is find the young men and they will be expelled for their actions. Severus, you will bring all the males of Slytherin House to meeting where we will then determine the culprits. Minerva, I ask you to escort Seda back to her rooms." She saw McGonagall nod and stand up.

"Come on dear." She said to her softly. Seda stood up slowly, avoiding everyone's eyes. They walked to the door of Dumbledore's study and Snape held open the door. She glanced up at him and they caught each other's eye for a long moment. Neither of them said anything but they knew what the other was saying.

McGonagall escorted Seda down to her rooms in silence. When they reached her door she looked down at Seda, who stared over McGonagall's shoulder. "If you need anything, please be sure to let me know." Seda didn't speak or even nod. She just stared. McGonagall tried to pat her on the shoulder but Seda jerked away, frightened of anyone touching her. Seda turned and unlocked her door and stepped inside slowly. In a very small voice she said, "Thank you." And she shut the door. McGonagall stared at the closed door with sympathy all over her face for a moment then walked away.

Seda walked through each room as if she were a zombie. She didn't really see anything around her or know she was even walking. Ever since Snape found her last night she felt like part of her was missing and she was simply floating around like a spirit without a body, or a body without a spirit, she couldn't decide. She amazed her self when she found the bathroom and immediately turned on the taps in the bathtub. As it filled with water she pulled off her clothes and stared at her body in the mirror. She was bruised from head to toe, and healing cuts were displayed among her face and her thighs. She didn't look at her own eyes but studied every other part she had. She didn't feel complete.

She walked over to the tub and put one leg in. She jumped at the feeling but she forced her self in anyway. She sat there for hours in a pool of icy cold water, hoping it would numb the pain, the physical and the emotional.

* * *

Seda woke on Saturday morning to a growling stomach. She didn't really remember getting out of the bath but she supposed she did. She had no idea what time it was and she didn't care. She wasn't going down to breakfast or lunch, whatever time it was, because she didn't want to see anyone and she didn't want anyone to see her. She rolled on to her side and hugged a pillow as Aura came fluttering down on the bed next to her, hooting softly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to abandon you the other night. Something… happened." She reached out and rubbed her small beak. The owl hooted again like she understood. Seda stared into the eyes of the golden bird in front of her then sat up. She didn't have any clothes on. She must have been so tired yesterday that she passed out on the bed. She looked at the bottom of the bed and saw the two books Snape had given her and the one Hermione had given her. She reached for them and pulled them towards her. She opened the one that Hermione had given her first and began to read. She thought by reading she could ignore the hunger in her stomach.

She read for probably an hour with out disruption but stopped when a knock came at her door. She didn't move but stared out into the doorway of the sitting room. Someone knocked again and she still didn't answer. This time someone called her name. It was Snape's voice. He continued to call her, clearly not fooled that she was still sleeping, but that she heard him. She looked over her shoulder at her owl and then climbed out of the bed. She grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around her self then slowly walked to the door.

She pulled it open barely an inch and said softly, "What do you want?" He looked at the crack in the door for a minute, trying to see her and said, "I need to speak with you." She closed her eyes for a second then answered, "I don't want to see anyone." Her voice was still soft and hollow. "This is rather important Miss Wood." He said patiently but eagerly. "I'm alone if that eases you." He said very quietly, noticing she probably was worried about more then one person being there. He waited as he listened for some kind of reply. Finally a creak broke the silence and she pulled the door open just enough for one person to squeeze through.

He walked in a few steps and looked around in front of him, all the curtains were closed and it was dark. He turned and saw Seda standing in the shadows, with a blanket wrapped around her body. She didn't move or say anything, only stared down at her shoulder, keeping her head turned away from him. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were unclothed." He tried to look at something else in the room but he couldn't take his eyes from her. She looked like a creature of the night that was scared to show itself.

She continued to be motionless, as still as a statue. "I wanted to tell you that we've found the three young men and they are going to be expelled but… we need your confirmation." His voice was dry, not silky as usual. She still hadn't moved. "Why?" She asked in a small voice, not looking at him.

"Since you are the victim it is rightfully your decision. We need your word to formally expel them, if that is your wish." She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She spoke again, in a voice unlike her own. "Should they really be expelled? Maybe… it was my fault… this happened."

He narrowed his eyes. "This was not your fault. You did not ask them to do what they did. It was of their senseless free will. You are not the instigator you are the victim. If I had known who they were that night I would have had them expelled in an instant, but it is not my decision, it's yours." He took a step forward. Her eyes flashed towards him then back down to the floor. "I… don't know…what to do." She said.

"I am partly to blame for this. I should have listened to you when you said some of my students were making comments to you. In a way, it is my fault this happened." He took another step towards her and he was within an arms length of her. "I don't know what you can ask of me that will repay this." He said quietly. He raised one of his hands and rested it on her cheek. He barely felt the warmth of her skin when she whipped her head away from his hand and pulled the blanket over her body tighter. "You can n-never… give back what they took. They stole something sacred… something I - I had been saving." She took a sharp intake of breath. "They took it!" She said weakly as she slid to the floor with her side against the wall. She clutched the blanket around her even tighter and buried her head in her knees, hiding her tears from him. But she was defeated, there was nothing she could do but cry. That's all she ever did it seemed these past few weeks, cry. It was so unlike her, she had always been one to keep her emotions bottled up, to never show what she felt, but even now she couldn't deny her self that she deserved to let her emotions free. She had just been ripped of her innocence and she felt torn inside.

He hated watching her cry, especially now. Normally she was upset because of a dream but she was now thoroughly beaten and physically harmed. He felt ashamed that three of his students, three of _his House_ had done such a vicious act. For strange, unpleasant reasons this brought him back memories of his past as a Death Eater. How he was asked to torture, even kill adults and children. He found the torturing more disturbing because at least when someone was killed it was done quickly, painlessly and some times unknowingly, but when he tortured he had to watch as they suffered, dying slowly and painfully. At times he had been told to rape women and young girls for his pleasure but he just couldn't bring him self to do it and had to suffer the Cruciatus Curse for this many times. He had to watch as other Death Eaters stole the dignity of the women and the pureness of the young girls. They were animals, he was an animal, and he hated him self for it.

Watching Seda suffer like this was just as painful as his past. The fact that he knew he could have stopped it but didn't. He knew how important her purity was to her, she had expressed it to him before and he respected it. Now she was stripped of it, unwillingly, and left to dwell and rot on it for the rest of her life. There was nothing he could do or say to make her realize he understood to an extent and worse, make the memory go away.

"Miss Wood." He said softly, staring down at her with a horrible pain in his stomach. "Leave me alone." She cried. "Please, just… leave me alone." She rocked her self, still crying. He couldn't walk away from her and he couldn't watch her either, it was painful. He did what felt natural, though very awkward for him. He bent over and pulled under her arms gently. She tried to hit him to make him stop but she couldn't fight a man much bigger then she was. He pulled her into his chest and let her cry, freeing her emotions locked inside her. He wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and held her against him, for as long as he could, simply holding her until she could stop the sobs coming up from her chest. Something felt so strange about this but it also felt so right.

* * *

Seda was carrying a burden around with her all day. She had to make the choice whether or not she wanted to see the three beasts expelled for what they did. She immediately thought they deserved much worse then that but she also blamed her self for what happened. What if she hadn't gone to see Snape that night? What if she never had feelings for him in the first place? What if she just never came to the school at all? None of this would have happened. She should have known that after those first few comments about interactions between her self and the Potions Master she should of stopped all emotions towards him and gave no one any suspicions. But she didn't. She was such a fool she told her self, an idiot. This was all her fault. It was her fault she no longer carried the innocence of a girl who had been saving her self for true and pure love.

She spent most of the day in her rooms. After Severus left her that morning she didn't feel the need to see anyone else, she hardly wanted to see him either. She supposed that's why she made him leave after she had composed her self from crying again. She realized he was holding her and when she saw him looking at her she tore away from him, scared he would try to harm her or touch her forbiddingly. She asked him to please not touch her and to leave her be as she ran into her bedroom, getting away from him. He must have understood she meant it because he didn't follow... he left quietly.

She found her self in the Headmasters office once again, though it was late in the evening and she was alone, except for Dumbledore. She sat in the same chair across from him and stared at the same spot, not looking him in the eye. He was talking to her but it was like an oddly tuned radio, she heard his voice come in clearly at times and others it was fuzzy. "You have seen the three gentlemen and agreed it was they who… and now I ask of you if you… it is entirely up to… we need your decision…" She felt dizzy. It was just too much.

She stared for a long time until she said, "Maybe it's my fault. Maybe they shouldn't be expelled. Maybe I should… leave." It was silent until his voice came in clearly. "How can you say that Seda? What they did is wrong, and nothing you or anyone could ever do can permit that sort of act. None of this was your fault and leaving the school while the guilty stay can not change what happened." He said firmly.

It was quiet again for a while. "They would have never said anything if I didn't have…" She was saying more under breath to her self rather then out loud, but when she realized he could hear her she stopped. She glanced up at his eyes quickly to see if he noticed and she quickly looked back down. There was an odd twinkle in his eye.

"Have what Seda…feelings… emotions… passion? None of those would have mattered to them anyway because it's not them you love." There was another moment's silence. She thought frantically about what he meant. Did he know about her feelings for Snape? "Seda look at me." He said softly. She had to do as she was told. Slowly she lifted her chin and met his light blue eyes with her deep blues. It felt strange to look at him now. It was like he was reading her mind, every thought etched in her head, and she couldn't stop it. She thought desperately about what he would say if he found out about relations between her and Snape.

They stared at each other for several minutes. Seda was very unsure of what he was thinking and it made her nervous. She continued to worry until a small smile lit up his ancient face. He looked amused; almost satisfied about something she had no idea what. "Seda, do you remember what I told you before? How things will work out and make sense in the end? This is one of those times where you must trust yourself to believe what you are doing is right even though now it seems the world is falling apart at your feet." She looked at him curiously. There could be several things he was referring to and she had no clue which one it was. "Some things are destined to happen, and others creep up upon you most unfortunately, but in time you will see what good it brings. Only in time will you understand."

They sat there for quite some time discussing what to do with the three gentlemen and in the end Seda knew they deserved to be expelled, even if she thought it was still her fault. Dumbledore explained to her that with her final agreement they could now formally write up the expulsion papers and they would be sent home. He told her she was free to go back to her rooms. She stared at him for another long moment while thinking whether or not she should sever all interactions with Snape for her own sake.

Dumbledore's eyes gave that usual twinkle and she nodded and walked to the door. When she was heading out he said, "In answer to your last question… No." She looked at him quickly but when he nodded she thought better to just leave.

No? What was he talking about she wondered all the way down to her rooms? She didn't take the main stairs because she feared she would run into questioners and accusers. She took secret passages she had discovered that led to a corridor just around the corner from her rooms, on the other side of the wing, away from the library and the Grand Staircase. When she peaked around the corner to make sure no one was there she set off quickly to her rooms, and shut her self in for another day, without bothering to eat.

* * *

When Sunday afternoon came and Seda had not shown up for lunch, several of the staff expressed concern about her hiding away for two days and probably with out eating. Severus was among the concerned but he did not voice his opinions or worries. He listened to the whispers at the staff table and among the more intelligent crowd of students who had linked the three new expulsions to Seda's sudden disappearance.

He knew it wouldn't be long before all the students were aware of what really happened and he actually feared the uninvited attention Seda would have to endure. He also knew she didn't want to see or speak with anyone, obviously more so since she refused t leave her rooms. He would attempt to talk to her again but he realized his presence, or almost anyone's would frighten her so he thought he should let her be. He considered how the integrity of her dreams might advance to a new level with this new helplessness on her conscience and feared too what was happening to her, mentally, as she slept.

He didn't exactly want her enclosed in her rooms by herself with only fear for company but since she would not permit him to stay with her he thought of something else that may tempt her. It was worth a try at least. He hated to become involved in such things but as he felt this was partly his fault that she had to deal with this, he forced him self to call upon the only possible resort. He abandoned his meal and headed for his office, and quickly sent out an urgent owl.

Seda sat on her bed with Aura, trying to read the book Hermione gave her, but flashes of what happened that horrible night on her birthday came flooding back into her memory. No matter what she did, she couldn't concentrate. She tried to lay or sit in different positions hoping that was the source of disruption but when she moved for the tenth time in under a minute she lost hope. She buried her head in her hands, squeezed her eyes shut and listened to the silence. She could hear the rustling of the autumn leaves in the forest and the soft whisper of wind blowing in her window. This soothed her for a second but all to soon another disruption startled her. This time it was a knock. She waited a minute to see if it would go away, but it persisted. She knew it was probably Snape, who had come to force her to leave the sanctuary of her rooms or question her about why she didn't want him around, but when she opened the door a crack to make him go away another, familiar voice surprised her. One she had not heard all weekend, one she actually wanted to hear.

"Can I come in Seda?" Came the soft, friendly voice of her only friend, Hermione.


	30. Increasing Fear

Ok moving right along with the story now. I have to give a big congrats to **SSL and Elleke (you guys are GREAT!)** for reading every chapter so far, and in about two days. I'm really impressed. I'm really thankful to my other fans out there too and if you have also finished the chapters then a big congrats to you too! Ok, let's get started shall we. Toodles!

* * *

Seda was not expecting Hermione's voice at all. She was expecting Severus or someone else, but not Hermione. In a way she was relieved but angry at the same time. She didn't want to see anyone, but she was lonely too. She stood there for a minute trying to think to her self and what she should say.

"Seda? I just want to see you, we don't have to talk." Hermione said again quietly. Before she could answer she pulled open the door barely enough for one person to squeeze through, just as she had done with Severus. The room was still very dark, even though it was daytime. Every curtain was closed and there was no fire in the fireplace. Only a few lanterns here and there, but the candles were down to the bottom and they were dim.

Hermione turned to look at Seda and she tried to hide the emotions on her face but she was failing. When she received an owl from Snape asking her to check on Seda because she hadn't been seen by anyone for several days, Hermione knew she might look sick or even tired but she wasn't expecting her to look like walking death. She had only seen her look this pale and sickly after a Sleep Aid session, but she looked completely sleep and food deprived. Her hair was not as smooth and sleek but wild and untamed, her eyes were swollen and barely open and the color extremely gray and cold, her composure was awkward and she looked much more thin then usual. Her pajamas hung on her like drapes. Several bruises were spread about her arms and a long scar like a deep gash rested on her cheek.

Seda stood in the shadows, the same as she did with Severus, afraid to come into the light and reveal herself. Hermione gave a horrified gasp at the sight of her and covered her mouth with her hands. Her eyes widened in fear as she tried to take control of her self. "What happened to you?" She asked somewhere between angry and terrified. Seda just stared at her like she didn't understand English. She looked like she was simply a manikin. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were so…" Hermione couldn't find the right words so she left her sentence hanging.

"Who told you?" Seda asked softly, ashamed of her self. Hermione shook her head slightly and said, "No one's told me anything, honestly." Seda didn't believe her. "Then why did you come?" Her voice was weak.

Hermione hadn't moved an inch since she saw her... she was still as stone. She tried to answer her but her voice was breaking. "S-Snape sent me an owl, asking me to see you… because no one has seen you in a few days… a-and he was worried for you to-to be by your self. He didn't tell me an-anything." She took a step forward and cried, "Seda what happened to you?" She waited for an explanation, but it didn't come.

Seda walked around her slowly and back to the bedroom. "I don't want to talk about it." She said quietly as she climbed onto the bed and lay there, ready to pass out. She was so hungry now that she thought she would throw up and she was dizzy. She pressed her hands firmly against her stomach and rolled onto her side, trying to sleep or forget about the pain. Hermione stood next to her. "Fine, you don't have to tell me, but can I at least stay with you for a while? You don't look well at all. Have you eaten lately?"

Seda closed her eyes, trying to erase pictures being drawn in her memory. "I don't care… whatever you want." She said slowly like it hurt to speak. Hermione waited for another explanation about whether or not she had been eating but that didn't come either. Hermione glanced down at the foot of the bed and noticed three books. One she had given Seda and the other two she recognized. "Seda, who gave you-" She stopped. When she looked back at her she was already sleeping. Hermione sighed and looked down at her for a moment before she picked up the books and rested in a chair near the bed, next to the fireplace. She flicked her wand towards the grate and lit a fire that soon crackled into a source of warm light. She decided to sit there and read the potions books, until Seda would wake up.

* * *

Severus ate a quick lunch purposely so he could see if Hermione had made any contact with Seda yet. As he was leaving he glanced sideways down the table to see if anyone noticed his leave taking. The staff seemed to be caught up in conversations so he took the opportunity to leave unnoticed, but not before he met Dumbledore's eyes and a shadow of a wink twinkled at him.

He knocked softly at Seda's door and waited for any sounds. Would she ignore him again? He didn't want to invade her privacy but he was becoming rather concerned. He was going to knock again when the door opened. He was slightly surprised to see Hermione there but she beckoned him in anyway and he entered. "She's sleeping." Hermione said in a whisper.

"I suppose you received my letter then though you didn't send a reply." He said quietly, looking down at her. He was somewhat relieved she was here though. "I left immediately and I didn't even think to send word. Thankfully Ron understood I was in a hurry and stayed with Madison instead of going into work. I told him this was really important." She whispered again.

Snape nodded then looked around the dimly lit sitting room. "Have you spoken with her at all? Is she well?" He said still quietly. Hermione shook her head and sighed. "She said she didn't want to talk about it, whatever it was, so I left it at that." She walked around to a chair in front of the sitting room fireplace and slumped into it. She rested her arms on the velvety sides of the chair and stared at the floor. "She looks awful though. I don't think she's eaten at all and…" She looked up at him. "What happened to her?"

He merely shook his head. "I can not tell you unless she wishes for you to know. Right now I don't think she wants or needs any more attention to the matter." He walked over to the other chair and sat down. Hermione's eyes followed him as he did. She looked at him curiously. "So… you know what's happened then… don't you?" She said softly.

"I do, yes, but I have no right to share with you the unfortunate events that took place until she is ready to tell you her self." He said in a final tone. Hermione looked back at the floor, defeated. It was silent for a few minutes. Similar thoughts were running through each of their heads, concerns about the girl in the next room.

"I noticed two of your potions books on her bed earlier." She said trying to make conversation. His eyes flashed towards her but he didn't answer. "Did she borrow them?" She asked quietly. He didn't look at her but kept his eyes on the fire. "I gave them to her."

"Oh." She said slightly impressed. He never gave anyone anything, unless it was detention. "For her… birthday you mean?" She asked nervously. He glared at her and with a smirk he said, "Actually I was under the impression it was Christmas." He said sarcastically. She always did ask annoyingly silly questions when she knew perfectly well what the answer was, he thought as he turned back to the fireplace.

"Ok, alright. I was just wondering." She said shaking her head. "But… I thought those were your favorites. Every time I asked to borrow one you scolded me about ruining the precious pages. You made it seem as though they were sacred." She narrowed her eyes at him. All those years she wanted a few more references for certain potions and he never let her see them and she was left to tread through the millions of books in the library until she was seemingly satisfied with an answer or fact.

"I suppose she was rather interested in them. I know them word for word anyway so I no longer feel the need to keep them around." She dropped her jaw in disbelief. "Oh, and I suppose I was never interested in them at all, is that it? Fine, I see. I could have saved myself hours of research if you would have just let me glance at one." She said angrily.

"I thought you were the one who liked studying. Any opportunity you had you snatched up a book and memorized its pages. Surely you don't regret the hours you spent in the library." He smirked. He loved when he was right.

"No, I don't regret it but I could have earned higher marks on my essays had you let me just look at your precious books." She stared at him furiously then a thought came to mind. "Or were you just worried I would be better at potions then you?" She couldn't help but laugh mischievously. Snape threw her a most dangerous look and she stopped. She had to bite her lip to keep herself from giggling because it amused her to see him become annoyed but if he became angry she knew to stop.

She composed her self. "Well, it was nice of you to give them to her anyway." She watched his reaction to see if he would glare at her again, but he didn't. He just continued to stare in front of him. "I am not one to offer kindness willingly." He said in his low voice. She continued to stare at him. "No, but she didn't force you to give them to her either." She knew she was right and she again waited for his glare or his biting remark but neither came. She looked away from him and smiled.

It was silent again for several minutes until the horrible sounds of retching came from the next room. Hermione and Snape eyed each other and then she sprang from her chair. She looked back at him and noticed he stood but didn't follow. He noticed her questioning look and said, "It would be best if she didn't see me. You go." He said to her. She turned with out question and headed to the bedroom.

When she walked in she saw Seda leaning over the edge of the bed and throwing up what looked like, "Blood? Seda…" She rushed towards her to pull her up. "Seda, you're throwing up blood." She said to make her realize. Seda continued to gag on her blood and she couldn't help but lean over and begin throwing up again. Hermione knew that throwing up your own blood wasn't a good sign. It could damage her organs and by the looks of it she was throwing up a lot. Hermione tried to pull her back. "Seda, just try to take deep breaths. You have to stop throwing up, you'll get really ill." She said frantically.

Seda wrapped her arms around her stomach and coughed, "I can't" while continuing to gag on her own blood. "You must." Hermione demanded. She was forcing her to try and sit up straight but it was too much. "Seda answer me, have you been eating at all?" She shook her head as she began to contract into retching again. Hermione looked around the room. "Snape!" She yelled to him as Seda once more rolled over and threw up. Hermione jumped out of the way as he came rushing into the bedroom.

"What is it?" He said but when he saw the pool of red liquid on the floor and looked at the deathly white girl dripping with blood from her mouth he realized. He immediately reached into his robes and pulled out a vial of blue liquid. Hermione eyed it and said, "A Restorative Potion?" He nodded as he stepped forward. "It will help her regain any blood she has lost and by the looks of it nearly too much. Lay her down." Hermione quickly stood up and pushed Seda to lie down. She held her firmly by her shoulders as Snape poured the potion into her mouth. Seda protested at once but just as suddenly she relaxed. She made a face that expressed the grotesqueness of the potion but she stopped convulsing in fits of vomiting at once.

Snape muttered a few words and pointed his wand at the pool of blood and it vanished. He looked up at the two women in front of him, let his eyes linger on Seda for a moment and said; "I suggest you start eating again Miss Wood." At that he glanced at Hermione and quickly swept out of the room.

Hermione told Seda she'd be right back and dashed into the sitting room just as Snape exited the door to the corridor. She swiftly crept out behind him and said, "Wait." He stopped and she jogged to his side. She looked up at him puzzled. "Why are you leaving? Why don't you sit with her for a while?" She asked almost panting.

He looked down at her and said firmly, "Miss Wood has already expressed her feelings of my presence around her. It would be best for me to respect it." He took a step to leave but Hermione caught his arm to make him stop. "Why? What do you mean? Look, what happened to her?" She asked him confused and extremely angry.

He turned his head over his shoulder to see her but he didn't meet her eyes. "I can not answer you, I've told you that already. Now, I suggest you get her to start eating again because…" He looked at the door to Seda's rooms. "I fear she will not let me come to her aid any longer." He glanced back at Hermione once more then continued down the corridor and soon disappeared in the shadows around the corner. She watched him leave and stared after his vanishing presence with her mouth slightly open but remembered that she needed to go back to Seda. She walked to Seda's rooms and closed the door behind her with a soft click.

* * *

Hermione had ended up staying the entire afternoon with her friend. She sat on a chair waiting for Seda. Hermione suggested that maybe she should take a shower to refresh her self and then she would conjure up some lunch. Hermione was thankful that Seda was too weak to refuse and she went along.

Seda came out of the bathroom with a red velvet robe on and her hair was still dripping wet, but she looked much more alive now. She walked to the bed and climbed up onto it, then collapsed onto her stomach. She was thoroughly exhausted. Hermione closed the book she was reading and climbed onto the bed next to her. She folded her legs underneath her and rested her elbows on her legs. "How are you feeling?" She asked.

Seda turned her head to look at Hermione and replied, "Horrible… but better." She moved her arms so she could fold them underneath her chin and she then rested her cheek on her arms and closed her eyes. "That shower helped, you were right." She took a deep breath and continued to rest her eyes. Hermione watched her and was glad she was better.

"Did he tell you… just now… what happened?" She said moments later, with her eyes closed still. Hermione thought for a moment then answered. "No. He said it was your right to tell me, not his. He was very firm about it too." She sighed. "So, I'm still in the dark. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." She said sadly. Seda still hadn't opened her eyes. "You want to know don't you?"

Hermione waited a few seconds before she answered. "Well… I suppose I do, I mean I want to help you… but not if you don't want me too. It's up to you." She said and waited for Seda to speak again. Seda took several very deep breaths and then she opened her eyes to look at Hermione. They stared at each other for a long minute until Seda spoke. "I-I was… I was…" She closed her eyes and Hermione waited patiently and painfully as the suspense cut into her. "I was raped." She squeezed her eyes tighter, hating her self for admitting it out loud.

Hermione's mouth dropped open and she stared at Seda for a long time, trying to understand it her self. Finally she said, "What?" She said hardly above a whisper. "But… when? Who?" She said in disbelief. Seda took a shivering breath and said almost in tears, "On my birthday." She swallowed a few times to keep the sobs from escaping again.

"I-I can't… believe this. This happened here? In the castle?" Hermione sounded as though she was on the verge of tears too. Seda then painfully, retold the events of her birthday to Hermione. She found it easier to tell her then anyone else, but it was still extremely hard considering she wanted to erase the memory completely. Hermione shook her head in fury and disbelief through out the telling and when Seda finished tears were rolling down both their faces.

"Just… don't tell anyone Hermione." Seda pleaded as she took more shivering breaths. "Please, I don't want anyone else to know." Hermione nodded her head and said, "No, I would never tell. I promise." She wiped tears off her cheek. Seda sniffed several times as her chest began to feel heavy. "I feel so… I feel worthless, like this is my fault." She buried her head between her arms and when she spoke next it sounded very muffled. "Why did this happen?" She cried into the blanket.

Hermione couldn't help the burning in her throat and her eyes as she watched her friend suffer so much already since she had been here. She was torn from everything she had believed to be true and was told she was actually someone else, something completely different. She had to endure those horrible, realistic, emotional dreams and now this. What could she have possibly done to deserve this? Hermione thought angrily. More tears rolled down her cheeks and she hesitantly placed a hand on Seda's head. When Seda didn't protest Hermione continued to stroke her hair, combing it with her fingers, trying to make her feel calm and safe. Every so often either one would give a sniff but dare not show each other the tears running down their faces.

* * *

The next week had gone by in a haze. Every day felt like some strange dream and she was merely living it. She ignored the strange stares and glances being directed her way and she sat through each class as still and quiet as the grave. She never raised her hand to answer a question, she never asked a question, and she never looked at anyone. Most of the time she stared straight ahead, looked down at her paper as she wrote notes or concentrated on her work. She was always the first to arrive in each class and the very last to leave. She avoided being seen whenever possible and no one seemed to mind. Many of the students paid no attention to this but several of the teachers were concerned with her behavior. By now they all, the staff, knew vaguely what happened because they needed an explanation as to why three, seemingly intelligent students were expelled from the school. She supposed Dumbledore explained but asked them not to bring it up. She was grateful for his caution but she still feared it would soon bring too much, unwanted attention.

Another week was passing and still the solitariness and uneasiness lingered. She felt that sitting through Potions class was perhaps the worst because it was so very near the place in which the event took place and not to mention, being around Snape actually made her feel worse in a way. Normally she felt very comfortable with him, but something had changed and it was not good. They had barely, if never, spoke to each other since that day she asked him to leaver her alone. He was obviously obeying the wish respectfully and she was ignoring him as much as possible. She knew what happened was not his fault but something in her just couldn't let her feel safe with him anymore. She noticed he looked at her often, but she ignored it. He hardly talked to her, though a few times he tried and she ran away from him. Even hearing his voice now was threatening. She hated feeling this way, especially towards him, but it was almost as though she wasn't controlling it.

She felt foolish for all the times they had looked into the others eye and felt something and she tried to erase the pictures of him kissing her with his delicate hands wrapped up in her hair or the way he firmly held her to him, but barely touching her at the same time. She thought about the times when he touched her face and let his thumb caress behind her ear and how she thought she was in heaven. She thought about the time they nearly gave into each other and how wonderful and cherished she felt at that near moment. And then she just remembered his eyes, how they always saw deep inside her and she lost her self completely in his soul somewhere. She shook her head to rid of these memories because she was a fool. How could she have ever let her self go that far? How could she allow her self to feel that way? She was a fool she told her self over and over, forever thinking that something good would come of it. Now she was furious with her self because she questioned whether or not she ever really trusted him. How could she trust anyone anymore? She was torn and the dreams were not helping, they only became worse.

Several nights she endured the emotional distress of those dreams and to her dislike they became much more intense. She didn't think it was possible but they were. After what happened to her on her birthday she had an empty feeling, almost the same empty feeling she had when she woke up from a dream. Now that she suffered both the feelings collided and became one big emotional and mental hole. She felt as if her very soul was being erased or thrown away and there was no getting it back. Everyday she thought the next would bring some sort of relief and acceptance but she was wrong, every day became worse. Nearly every night now she was having this dream and each night she fell further and deeper into the black oblivion before she thought she would just die. The thing was now it felt like she wasn't dying anymore, that she just lingered there in the twilight zone. It was rather frightening and when she woke up in the dead of night she had the urge to go somewhere, to find comfort, but she forced her self to remain where she was and suffer the rest of the lonely night.

When the very first rays of sun would creep through the windows she would thankfully pray that she had survived the night. Most of the time she never slept all through the night but she crawled out of bed anyway and dragged her self to the shower. She was becoming increasingly overtired through classes and the first time she actually fell asleep during one she brought attention to her new state.

"Seda…" She heard a voice in the distance. "Seda…" She heard it again... it was familiar. "Seda…" It was very close now she recognized it. She felt a pressure on her shoulder and she snapped open her eyes. She looked around her and everything was blurry but she knew where she was. Someone was standing in front of her, a man. She blinked several times and then raised her head to look up at him. "Are you alright?" It was Lupin's voice.

She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and tried to see him more clearly. She looked around to see if anyone was watching but she found that they were alone in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Obviously everyone had left for lunch and she apparently fell asleep and missed the bell. She began to gather up her things in a hurry. Notes were scattered across her desk and her book lay open with a quill inside, and she snatched up the items and hastily shoved them into her bag. When she tried to put her book in vertically instead of horizontally and her bag wouldn't close she began to feel angry. She tried to force the bag closed but she gave up and just slammed it onto the table, which created a loud, reverberating thud off the walls. She heard the cracking of inkbottles and then she sank into the chair and rested her head in her hands.

Lupin watched quietly and waited until she was calm to speak again. "Is everything alright Seda?" He asked quietly. "No! Everything is NOT all right." She said fiercely though not directed at him but at the world in general. She chewed her tongue to keep her self from screaming and took long, deep breaths. She hated how she was feeling lately.

"Do you want to talk about it? I must say though, I hope my class was not boring today because you've never fallen asleep before." He didn't sound angry, but friendly. Seda looked up at him beneath her lashes and then gave him a slight frown. "I'm sorry professor, I didn't mean to fall asleep." She lowered her hands to rest on the table. She sighed and then pulled her bag towards her. When she opened it, ink was splattered and dripping over all her books and papers. Seda groaned in protest.

Lupin watched her cautiously. He was going to pull out his wand to repair the mess but she beat him to it. She had already pointed her wand at her bag and muttered, "reparo." She resituated the books and finally closed her bag easily. She stood and moved out from behind the table. Lupin followed her with his eyes. She looked back at him over her shoulder and said quietly, "I'm fine professor, but I don't want to talk about it." He nodded and she left. Just as she reached the door he called out, "You'll be alright Seda, in time." She dropped her head to her chest slightly then heaved the bag higher on her shoulder and continued out the door.

She ate a quick lunch then headed up to the library. She had no other classes that day so she decided to find a cozy corner in the shadows of the enormous library and finish her studying there. She walked by several younger students and they stared at her as she continued to the back. One of the girls, who was a second year Gryffindor waved and said, "Hi Seda." Seda turned her head back to look at her and the girl smiled warmly. Seda didn't know what to say so she tried to smile back. It actually felt strange to smile again, so she broadened it then continued to her destination.

She stayed in the library as long as she possibly could. She feared to return to her rooms because she knew she would soon trail off to the horror of her dreams. She pressed on to the books and continued to write her essays and charts. She had forgotten about dinner now that she was so caught up in her studies and she soon felt the droop of her eyelids. The pages became fuzzy and the urge to just rest her head on a book for a quick moment took control. She rested her eyes for only a second but she was already sleeping before she could help it.

Severus walked along the narrow aisles looking for a particular book. He grazed over each label, searching for the title he had in mind. He turned the corner to walk along another aisle when the light of his wand fell upon a peculiar shape. In a dark corner, underneath a long window was a small lump leaned against a table. He knew it was a student out after hours and he strode over to accuse the person. When he looked down he recognized at once the familiar glowing face and luscious soft hair. Here she was, fast asleep in the moonlight on a pile of books. This was very amusing he thought.


	31. Side Effects

Ok, well I'm not going to write much except let's get right into the next chapter. Toodles!

Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers: **SSL, Elleke, Kodachi5, Inversnaid, La Rose Noire, Elsyee-h, **and forgive me if I forgot anyone but Thanks to you too!

This was very interesting indeed he thought. He had ventured to the library to seek out one book and here he finds something else, something more. He watched for a moment as she slept, wondering if she was dreaming peacefully. He lowered his wand light and moved forward. He thought how to wake her; he didn't exactly want to frighten her because she was already experiencing enough distress.

He tapped her lightly but firmly on the shoulder. Almost instantly she woke up. She gave a long, deep inhale and moved her head up an inch. She moved her hands to her eyes to rub them then she looked up and moved her eyes from side to side, wondering why she was still here. When her eyes fell upon Severus she gasped.

"Decided to camp out in the library have you?" He said in his silkiest voice. She stared at him almost as if he were in a haze then she yawned. She stretched her arms high into the air then looked back at him and said sleepily, "What time is it?" She acted almost as if she were still dreaming.

He raised en eyebrow at her. The way she stretched pulled her clothes tightly over all the right places. "It's nearly midnight Miss Wood." He said smoothly. Her eyes widened and she let her arms that were stretching above her head fall heavily to the table. "What?" She said in disbelief. "It can't be." She stared at him as if he was mad, and then she realized exactly why she was there. She didn't know she had fallen asleep for so long.

"I assure you it is." He said trying to convince her. She looked panicked for some reason then she hastily pulled her books and things towards her and stuffed them into her bag. She stood up and tried to move around the table but suddenly ran into something very tall and hard. It was so dark she didn't see the bookshelf. The impact threw her off balance as she was still hardly awake and she fell over backwards from the weight of her bag. She gave a little yelp as she felt herself toppling over backwards like a domino.

Severus reacted with a flash of his reflexes and caught her under the middle part of her back just before she hit the ground. He looked down at her as she stared up at him and said, "It is not wise to run around in the dark Miss Wood, you'll find you may… run into things." He let the words linger in her ear almost as if it were a purr. She swallowed hard and mumbled sorry as she tried to stand straight. As she stood up straight his hands accidentally brushed along her chest and she whirled around to face him with amazing speed. She backed away from him like he was trying to force her into his arms and she desperately tried to escape.

She stared at him with an almost petrified and terrified face as he narrowed his eyes at her. She continued to move backwards, away from him, absolutely frightened that he touched her. She felt violated, abused and memories came pouring back into her memory like a waterfall. Three of those animals were crouching over her, running their hands along her body, as she was unable to move. They dragged her across the cold stone floor into a dark corner. They began to rip at her clothes and soon she felt the piercing pain as they each took their turns on her, not caring that she was being torn into shreds, ripped apart and mutilated on the inside, they just laughed into her face and told her who she should be respecting.

She breathed heavily and tried to squeeze her eyes shut to erase the pictures. She could hear the evil laughing and snickering and horrible cold voices in her mind, telling her she was wrong to come here, that she didn't belong and they would abuse her until she realized she was worthless. She pressed her hands against her ears, trying to block out the sound that played over and over in her head. She could feel the sobs swimming up from the very pit of her stomach as she cried out, "No… stop… please… stop - stop!" She pressed her hands harder to her ears and shook her head, breathing in sharp short intakes. She wished the images and the sounds would just go away.

"Miss Wood…" Severus said slowly. She continued to plead to the memories in her head, not hearing him. "Miss Wood!" He said firmly as he grabbed her wrists to stop her. She looked up at him again, more terrified then before. A tear was rolling down her cheek, as it caught the glistening beams of the moon. Her eyes looked as though she wasn't seeing him at all, but some monster that danced before her, reflecting in her wildly flashing blue eyes. She struggled to free her arms but he refused to let her go until she was calm. "Miss Wood, it's me. Everything is alright, listen to me." He fought to keep hold of her small wrists but she writhed under his touch. He caught her eyes in a locked death gaze and actually saw the ultimate fear in her eyes. He released her at once as she pulled away one more time.

"Don't y-you… EVER touch m-me again. EVER!" Her lips trembled before she turned and ran from him as fast as she could. He stood where he was, unable to move as he listened to her helpless cries as she ran out of the library. He was panting and he finally dropped his head to look down at his hands, he was shaking slightly. What have I done he thought desperately. He caught his breath for a moment before he left the library, completely forgetting the book he came for.

* * *

As she stood there her robe billowed out around her as the soft touch of the wind caressed the material flowing on her body. Her hair whipped about her face, sometimes blocking her view as the fog danced around her in a soundless tune. The water on the shore of the lake brought an icy chill to her skin as it rose in gentle waves about her feet. A whisper of a voice lingered in the air, calling her softly from somewhere in the distance. It was singing to her, for her, urging her to come to it, whatever it was. Slowly a clearing in the fog parted before her like a drawn curtain and the magnitude of the lake glimmered eerily at her. As the heavy shield of clouds vanished into the sky a figure on the lake stood waiting for her. Another breeze blew across her ear and caught on the wings of silence was a voice whispering her name. There were no other sounds, not even the waves crashing at her feet or of the wind howling around her, only the sound of this lulling voice pulling her somewhere in her heart to come to it.

She took a step into the water and found that it was like ice and she floated across it as if she were on glass. Every step brought her closer to this black hooded creature and she longed to see its face. She reached out a hand to remove its hood but it stopped her. A warm smooth hand wrapped its delicately long fingers around her satin skin and for a moment it felt pleasant until another grasp formed around her arms that felt piercingly cold but like fire upon her skin. It was pulling her away from this creature before her that she so longingly needed. It reached out a hand for her but stood still as stone, not coming after her as she was dragged away by some unknown demon. Icy hot pain shot through her body and a dull numbing feeling surrounded her heart, like it were frozen and shattering to pieces. She screamed out for the black figure to help her but it watched as she was taken away. She struggled as hard as she could to free herself but the grip was too strong. She could feel it tighten its hold around her wrists and soon the pain felt like stabbing knives. She desperately called out for help but she feared no sound escaped her trembling lips. She thought to herself how much she loved the touch of that figure and how she wanted nothing else and with one last jolt of struggled freedom she wrenched her arm from the demon behind her and ran as fast as she could to reach that hooded creature. It was coming closer and a smile was forming along her mouth but all to soon the ground beneath her opened just as she went to touch its face. She fell through into the black coldness and began to scream once more for help. Still the figure watched as she disappeared and heart ache like never before pumped into her veins. She watched in grim despair as she sunk further and further into the freezing water and gave up hope as the small opening of light shrunk to a pin size hole and finally vanished completely. She floated around in the cold black oblivion paralyzed by horrid pain and waited for herself to die and eventually when she accepted she was finished, defeated she let her self go and she saw and felt no more.

* * *

Hermione and Snape succeeded slightly in getting Seda to talk to them while she dreamt but fear took over her body and she was unable to hear them any longer, they were distant. They waited anxiously and nervously for any other sign of what was happening to her. Only the usual things happened, lifting her hand to some unknown object or person, screaming out for help and violent sobs and shaking. After the climax of her dream and she looked nearly dead Severus had to pour another potion into her mouth to revive her. They watched her as she slept for a minute then looked away in disappointment and horror. Hermione sighed as she looked down at her own shaking hands and then she used all her strength to push herself from the floor by Seda's side. She walked to the windowsill and stared out at the moon.

"I wish I knew what was happening to her. I just… don't understand what they mean." She dropped her head to her chest. "I don't get it." She sighed again. "What's going on in her head?" She shouted into the window, causing a fog spot to obscure her view of the moon. She took a long inhale and then rubbed the spot away on the window with her sleeve. "It seems like we aren't making any progress." She sounded sad.

Severus sat down on the chair next to Seda and looked at his hands. "I believe we are making progress but gradually. It will take time, we knew that from the beginning." He glanced at the sleeping girl and noticed her chest rose and fell calmly now. His eyes lingered on her and slowly they traveled down her body and rested on her small hands. The way each little finger curled in relaxation almost looked like they were motioning him to come closer.

"She… told me what happened you know." She waited for him to answer but he didn't. "I can't believe it. It's just… horrible. I never imagined anything like that would happen here, never. I don't know how she's been handling it but last time she was completely distraught." She hit her fists on the stone ledge of the window. "Why do these things keep happening to her?" She whispered to her self.

"She hasn't been getting any better if you are wondering. I think she is afraid to sleep at night because she is falling asleep during classes. And she won't…" He stopped and shut his eyes for the quickest moment. "What?" Hermione asked. "She won't what?" She tried to sound soothing as she turned to look at him. He shook his head and said, "Nothing."

"What is it? Just say it damn it!" She was angry and he looked up to give her a questioning look. He had never heard Hermione say anything even near a swear word in all the years he ever taught her. He was angered yes, but amused all the same. She was most definitely more ferocious since she had her own child. "You know, you've never been one to just come out and say anything, but for once could you just talk to me like I am a person, like a… I don't know!" She threw her hands in the air and turned back to stare out the window. He noticed she had nearly the same temperament as Seda, but he enjoyed Seda's frustration much more. It was as if Seda would become angry with him but glad at the same time they were arguing, it intrigued him.

Severus looked back at Seda. "She doesn't look at me anymore, in the eye at least. It seems as though she's afraid to look at me now." He shook his head when he realized he was confessing this out loud. He glanced over at Hermione to see if she would scowl at him for feeling this way but when she turned around he was surprised to see the shadow of a smile there but it quickly turned to a frown. "Well what do you expect? She was… you know, and not just by one but three! She was mutilated Snape and I for one am surprised at how courageous she's been to even step out of her rooms again. Dealing with that sort of thing is really emotional and frightening I'd imagine and I'm sure she'll never look at men, or anyone the same again."

Her brown eyes flashed at him in dark warning. He almost flinched at the way she used his name, it sounded bitter. She was right though but he wouldn't admit it. "Have you tried talking to her at all?" She asked him impatiently. "She won't even let me near her and talking to her is practically impossible." He said just as impatiently. She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Well, honestly I'm not all that surprised." She sounded much more calm this time. She opened her eyes again and walked towards him then sat down in the other chair next to Seda. She sighed as she stared at the same sleeping girl. "I don't believe it's directed at you though, really. It's probably just some sort of mental block she has right now, trying to protect her from harm, but she'll recover eventually. I think that if you completely severed any relationship with her it would only cause her more distress. Besides, she needs to feel like she can trust you again or we won't be getting very far with this experiment. The best you can do is - look!" She yelled.

Snape raised his eyebrows at her. "Look?" He asked confused. She was definitely losing her mind. "No - no… look, at her wrists." She said frantically pointing at Seda's arms. Severus looked at the source of Hermione's pointing and noticed dark deep red and purple burn marks encircling around Seda's wrists. "What in Merlin's beard is that?" Snape said leaning closer to her hands to see clearly. Hermione also leaned closer and said, "I was just going to ask you that." She gave a sort of disgusted and concerned look. "Do you think she can feel it? What is it?" She reached out a finger to touch the burn marks and quickly pulled it away, grabbing her own finger. She winced as a red mark appeared, like she had been burned. She stared at her finger in shock. "It's like fire." She said in awe.

Snape gave her a cautious look then said, "I don't know what it is or if she can feel it, I imagine so, but look at this." He nodded towards Seda's chest where a deep red liquid crept through her shirt over her heart. Hermione gasped again, this time completely horrified. "What on earth is THIS?" She said in more disbelief then ever. "Why is her chest bleeding?" She said as she pulled back Seda's shirt to reveal the glowing bruise over her heart and fresh blood seeping its way down her skin.

****

I've decided to finish this chapter in the beginning of a new chapter; it's just easier that way. So read on… well when I update. SteffieSnape


	32. Apologies on Halloween

****

Hey everyone! I'm sorry about the long delay in updating; it's been really crazy lately. Anyway, I'm back and ready to write. I needed a break for a while. The flow of ideas was not running in the right direction so I needed some time away. Hope you enjoy this next chapter. Toodles!

* * *

Seda woke up groggily in her bed the morning after another Sleep Aid session. She noticed the bandages wrapped around her wrists and wondered what else could have happened. She pushed her self into a sitting position and let out a wince as a pain shot through her body and swam around somewhere in the deep holes of her heart. She looked down to her chest and noticed the glowing bruise over her heart, which had clearly been bleeding previously. Stains of dried blood surrounded the peculiar shape and it amused and disgusted her to see such bizarre markings. She tried to ignore the frustration of not knowing what was happening to her by taking a warm shower.

As the steam rose around her in a cloud she realized today was October thirty-first, Halloween. She could hardly believe it; the month had gone by so fast. She stepped out of the shower several minutes later and threw on a robe. She was thankful at least there were no classes so she could relax for a bit. She collapsed into an armchair near the bay window and stared out at the golden sky. The leaves were violent shades of red and orange and soft golden yellows as they swayed against the crystal blue sky of the glorious autumn morning. The simple beauty of the setting before her captured her into wild and fascinating thoughts when reality came all to soon crashing back into her memory.

She stroked her fingertips along a handsome feather quill and realized she had never sent Harry a thank you letter for her owl. The month had been so hectic she completely lost track of time and sense and she cursed her self for being so inconsiderate and cold. She quickly pulled out a piece of parchment and sucked on the end of the quill, thinking of what she could possibly say to excuse her behavior or at least be forgiven for her rudeness. When a few lines of reason came to her she jot them down. She thought a bit more of how to word her apologies and to sound sincere enough of her gratitude for the lovely bird and his obvious thoughtfulness. When she read the letter through for the third time and was convinced it would hopefully sound somewhat pleasing she summoned Aura and sent her off with the letter in her beak.

She sat back in her chair wondering what she should do the rest of the day. She knew there was the annual Halloween Feast that evening but nothing else seemed to be planned for the day. She actually didn't know how they celebrated Halloween here anyway, in the wizarding and the English world. Since she was raised as an American muggle her entire life she thought it would be rather different to see how others treated this melancholy and mischievous day. It was nearly eight o'clock and breakfast seemed somewhat good. She knew it would feel strange to be around Severus but perhaps she could hassle him as to why there were new markings on her body. That was reason enough so she changed and headed for the Great Hall.

Breakfast was a somewhat subdued event. Severus had barely spoken to her, in fact not at all, and hardly looked at her either. It was almost as if he was ignoring her as best he could. She was rather curious actually because this was the first time she had awoken in her own bed after a Sleep Aid session and the first time he was not over analyzing every movement she made. Normally he was watching her every move to make sure she was fine but right now he seemed as if he neither cared nor thought anything of it.

She gave him a minute head start to the Dungeons before she excused her self from the conversation she and Lupin were having about the Halloween Feast. She quickly exited the hall and slipped into the corridor that led to the dungeons. She followed him down the stairs at a sprint and stopped just before she was within an arms length of him. Just as she came to rest behind him on the steps he turned as he stepped onto the landing.

"I was expecting you to follow me. How clever it was of you to give me a head start and make it appear less obvious of your true intentions." He said extremely sarcastically. She narrowed her eyes at him and opened her mouth to speak when he spoke again. "I know what you came to ask me and I have no answers for you. All I can tell you is that it's merely another side effect of the dream." He gave her a stern look then turned to continue down the hall.

"You did mention this might happen but I never really considered the consequences." She said staring after him. This was the first time in a long while she had spoken so direct with him. She had been avoiding him much more then he had with her. He stopped with his back to her and spoke again, seriously.

"That was a foolish thing to do you silly girl. It's small wonder why you ended up in Gryffindor. You don't think anything thoroughly. You delve into unknown territory not even bothering to consider the danger in which it might place you… foolish, ignorant girl." He finally muttered under his breath but enough for her to hear.

For a moment she thought about raging towards him and running away at the same time in result causing her to stand firmly in the same spot. "So you would think," She said quietly. "Ok, so maybe I didn't think it through as detailed as you would have but I'm not you so please forgive me for that most unfortunate disability." She said even more sarcastically and bitter then he did. "I, however, am my own person and I can choose to act or think however I feel most comfortable and nothing you can say will ever change that. If I choose to dive into some kind of situation that involves uncertainty without proper knowledge then so be it that I take the punishment for my foolish and ignorant mistakes. But you can't stand there and tell me that I chose to have these dreams that neither of us were sure of or to be placed in whatever House I may be in because those are all uncertainties." She narrowed her eyes a bit more.

She gave a sigh then turned to head back up the cold stone steps. As she turned she glanced at the dark corner where she had been mutilated. Memories came pouring back into her head and she desperately tried to push them away. She noticed how much cooler it felt and the slight prickles of fear came crawling along the back of her neck. She gave a violent shiver then quickly ran up the stairs as voices clouded her mind. She had no intention of going back to her rooms so when her feet led her out of the enormous double-doors and towards a path to Hogsmeade she didn't stop herself.

The day was brilliant and exhilarating. The little village seemed to have given itself an extra spooky look for the holiday as it was even more mysterious looking then before. Strange decorations were among every shop and the villagers were rather joyful and spirited. As she strolled absentmindedly down the streets the wind started to pick up, throwing her hair wildly around her face. She walked up to the very far end of the village where she came to rest at a rickety old gate. Up high on a hill stood the Shrieking Shack. Hermione had told her about it but she had never actually seen it. She rested her arms on the old fence and stared up at the shabby building. It did look rather creepy she thought, all though it did fit the mood for this particular day.

Her hair continued to fly madly around her, swishing in the air like a whip. The dark reddish-brown shone magnificently against the crystal blue sky and her eyes dazzled in the sunlight. She was just going to reach for her cloak to pull it tighter around her shoulders when a blast of wind caught a loose edge and carried it off. She saw it tumbling through the air and then it drifted to the ground and rolled along the hard earth until it was snagged by a rock. She sighed to herself because it had entered into the territory of the Shrieking Shack. She looked over her shoulders to make sure no one was watching then she quietly slipped through a gap in the fence and quickly chased after her cloak.

She ran fifty or so feet when she caught up to it and reached to pull it off the rock on which it was captured. She lifted it and shook the dirt from it when she saw a tear on one of the sleeves. "Oh this is just wonderful. A lovely tear on my new cloak, just great." She moaned. She protested as she swung it back around her shoulders. She brushed a few leaves from it and looked up at the old house. It did look somewhat frightening and all that but she was curious about it all the same. She stared at it, entranced by it for another few minutes when a familiar voice echoed around her.

"Hey! I see that you aren't bothered by this no trespassing sign." Startled, she whipped around and saw Harry resting his arms on the fence. She panted slightly at the sudden startle but she gave a sigh of relief as she patted her heart. He grinned at her as he too slipped through the opening in the fence and walked up the hill towards her. She gave him a puzzled look.

"You nearly scared me to death." She said seriously and then she softened a bit by giving him a small smile in return. "What are you doing here?" She asked him suspiciously.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing but I suppose you beat me to it." He said as he stuck his hands in his pockets. He looked around and up to the old shack over her shoulder then back at her again. "So, what are you doing here anyway? It's haunted you know." He said this with a grin.

"Nice try, I know it's not haunted. Hermione told me about this place and certain things that were revealed in your third year. I was standing just there when my cloak was caught up in the wind and it took flight across the grounds. I came to retrieve it and I guess I was just caught up in the fascination of the place before I realized I was trespassing." She shrugged.

Harry laughed slightly. "So she told you what this place was used for then? And why people thought it was haunted only that they didn't know it was only Lupin making all the noise." He smiled but Seda gave a look of utmost confusion.

"Lupin?" She said slowly as Harry's smile started to fade. "As in Professor Lupin?" Harry was now the one looking confused and he spoke puzzled. "Didn't you know? I thought Hermione told you."

Seda shook her head from side to side. "Hermione told me that a student here years ago transformed into a werewolf every month and used this place to hide. She told me you had discovered the secret but she never told me who it was." She glanced over her shoulder then back to Harry. "Do you mean to tell me that Professor Lupin is a… he's a werewolf?" She sounded a bit terrified.

Harry's face turned very pale. "I'm sorry, I honestly thought you knew. Has no one told you? Not even him? He's not dangerous though, seriously. Werewolves have bad reputations. They aren't all bad. You see Snape makes him a potion every month so he'll be harmless. Don't tell him I told you though, I wouldn't want him to think I just blurted it out, but I really thought you knew." He was trying to explain himself at a mile a minute but he stared at her as a look of curiosity came over her.

"It's all right Harry, really. I had suspicions he was anyway but… this is fantastic!" She finally said happily. Harry gaped at her like a fish out of water. He was somewhat stunned at her reaction. "I mean I always wanted to meet one. Ever since I read a book on werewolves when I first came here they fascinated me and there's been one under my nose all along." She beamed at him.

It took him a minute to find words but he finally sighed in relief. "Well, that was a much better reaction then I planned. You aren't scared or anything?" He said slowly. Seda shook her head. "Well, that's good then." They stared at each other in an awkward silence when Seda finally looked away and Harry gave a fake cough and looked around. "I, um, got your letter this morning." He said hesitantly.

Seda looked back at him out of the corner of her eyes. "Oh, I hope I made sense. I'm so sorry that I didn't reply sooner but I was… I was… I had a bit of a problem that had to be taken care of and it's affected me so I haven't been thinking clearly. I'm sorry." She glanced at him again but she determinedly kept her eyes away from his. He noticed the sudden change in her mood.

"It's fine. I'm just happy to see that you are all right." He tilted his head to the side to try and see her better. "Is everything ok? I mean, did something happen to you?" He studied her closely. She seemed a bit agitated now and it looked as though she was trying to hide something. "You don't have to tell me, I was just wondering." He tried to sound friendly.

"It's not that I don't want to tell you it's just… I don't want to talk about it." Horrible cold voices were creeping up in her head again. She tried to quickly push them away. "I can't tell you how nice it was of you to buy me that owl, you really shouldn't have." She said almost in a rushed sort of tone as if someone else was talking to her and she tried to interrupt. She shook her head slightly.

"It was nothing really. I knew how much you would like that owl and as I had nothing to give you for your birthday… well it just worked out." He gave a small shrug. "I really hope you enjoy her." He said strangely as if he couldn't think of anything else to say.

"I don't know how I can pay you back but I will someday, I promise." She said desperately. She tried to smile but it faltered. Harry stuck his hands in his pockets again and tried to amuse himself by staring at his shoes, preparing himself for what he was about to say. Seda waited for him to say something. "You don't have to pay me back but maybe…" He trailed off.

Seda stared at him more intensely. "Maybe what?" She asked slowly. He looked up at her slowly trying to find his tongue. "Well, maybe if you… I dunno, have lunch with me or something… we could call it even… possibly." He sounded very unsure of himself and it made Seda laugh slightly. When he looked horrified she realized that wasn't the best thing for her to do.

"Oh, I'm not laughing at the idea Harry, really. It's just the way you said it, it was… cute." She waited for him to answer but it only caused him to blush the slightest bit and she felt her own cheeks grow a little warm. "I suppose that could be arranged, if you are sure that's all I can do to pay you back." She said sweetly and he finally looked up and laughed. They both felt a little relieved and they set off down the hill together. On the way to the castle gates they made a stop at The Three Broomsticks and had a cozy lunch.

Seda amazed her self at how comfortable she actually felt sitting with Harry by her self. Normally the idea of men now frightened her but something with Harry was different. She admitted to her self that she enjoyed his company and she found it easy to talk with him. She liked that he was easy to talk to because it gave her a sense of security and relaxation. Talking with him was almost like talking with Hermione but even more calm. Harry was very laid back she noticed, quite the opposite from Snape who had to be right on every occasion. As much as she admired Snape she always felt a bit self-conscious around him, especially when they were talking. Now that she was talking with Harry she felt better about her self, but was that a good thing she wondered.

When she found her self at the entrance to the castle grounds, inches from the face of the handsome young man in front of her she asked her self what she was doing. Something clicked in her mind. What was he doing? Flashes of memories of that night on her birthday poured into her mid so that she was frozen. She could see those boys on top of her but she could see Harry's eyelids too. She felt a warm hand snake around her neck and chills raced through her body. She shook her head and then pulled away from him. He opened his eyes immediately and stared at her as if he had done something horrible.

"I'm sorry. If you didn't want to… I understand, I shouldn't have…" She heard his voice fade in and out as she backed away from him. She shook her head from side to side. "It's not you Harry. I'm just… I don't know. I'm sorry. I have to go." She said frantically. He saw the change in her eyes.

"Can I write to you then? I'm truly sorry… please, I wasn't thinking. Seda… I-" He pleaded with her, trying to make her understand that he was sorry for anything he had done wrong. She only continued to shake her head slightly. "It's fine, don't be sorry… it's me Harry. I'll… see you around I guess. Good bye… thank you again." She said as she turned from him and ran up the path to the castle.

Harry watched her run away as he stood there stupidly trying to figure out what happened. He really did feel bad about what happened and he did have the feeling something happened to her and she wasn't telling. He wasn't sure whether he should follow her into the castle and beg her to tell him what was wrong or if he should just leave and go find a hole to hide in. The hole sounded like a better idea at that moment so he turned from the castle and walked back into the village of Hogsmeade. He took a few steps on the stone street, crunching a few leaves under his shoes and then with a crack he was gone.

Hermione was just setting lunch on the table for Madison and Ron when a knock came at their door. Ron and Hermione looked up at each other, they weren't expecting company but Hermione stood straight and walked to the door. She pulled it open and was very surprised to see a familiar face. "Mind if I visit for a while?" He said and Hermione let him in.

The feast that night was rather good. The food, which was always wonderful, had an extra touch of good, wholesome, decorative and elegant sparks. She realized Halloween was just as important here as it was in America but in a slightly different way. For muggle-Americans it was especially a day for children to dress up in bizarre costumes and run from door to door asking for candy and fun things. Adults usually spent the day trying to scare one another and other strange things. Here it seemed it was more of a holy day for them, an actual holiday like Christmas. They took it seriously and the feast proved how much they longed for the day.

Most of the feast she spent talking with McGonagall. Lupin was not present because he was ill, and she knew it was full moon just yesterday and after transforming he probably wasn't feeling his best. Snape, of course, avoided her as usual and she found that it didn't bother her has much anymore. She needed time away from him, he drove her mad sometimes and there was nothing neither of them could do to help it. She still wasn't particularly fond of men at the moment and any excuse to get away from them was fine by her, especially Snape.

She was torn though. So many times she thought how much her feelings towards Snape affected her and she thought back on how she could have ever let her self go as far as she did. Then there was Harry, who was just as much a man as Snape or any other. But why was it that she felt so comfortable being alone with him when any other frightened her into horrific memories? She couldn't answer her self. A second voice popped up in her head; you feel safe with Snape too you idiot. She argued with her self; but when he touches me I feel scared, when he looks at me I feel weak, when he speaks to me I lose my self. The voice answered back; that's because there are other feelings that you don't know of yet. She shook her head to rid the voices.

She was getting a headache with all the bickering in her head. The feast was nearly over anyway, so she excused her self from the table and left the Great Hall through a side door. She thought a bit of fresh air might do her good so she wandered to the doors and made her escape. She walked down the front of the grounds, near the path to Hogsmeade and paused when she was half way between the lake and the castle. She looked up at the mighty castle and took in the mystical ness of it all. The sight of Hogwarts in the day was fantastic, hardly believable, but when she studied it in the night when it was aglow with candle lit windows it was absolutely breathtaking. She was in awe of how spectacular it seemed. It was a vision out of a most wild and fairytale-like dream. As long as she had been there now, nearly three months, she never realized just how fortunate she was to be there, able to stand where she was and take in what she saw… a living fantasy.

The slight rustling of the leaves, the gently clapping waves of the lake and the faint howling of the wind gave the night the eerie yet magical feeling it was all about. As she walked along the shore of the enormous lake many thoughts came to her. Some of how much longer will it take for her to become a fully qualified witch, a few of the work load she was given relentlessly, and many about her feelings towards certain men. As hard as she tried to distract her self from the man she saw every day it was nearly impossible not to think about him and what was between them. She had clearly expressed to him that she did not want him in a physical way anymore, after what happened to her. She had also remembered that he too had declared that any emotional relations between them would be bad ones. She learned to accept it, but only for her protection from hurtful and untruthful words. Somewhere deep down she knew she was lying to her self but she couldn't figure out how to get pass the emotional and psychological barrier in which she had placed between her conscious and subconscious mind. It was absolutely maddening she thought.

She just realized that she had stopped moving and was staring out into the endless black of night, totally in another state of mind. Why was it that she couldn't think properly anymore, that she couldn't make up her mind and stick to it? Why was she utterly perplexed by the powerful and deeply complex elements of the human mind and heart? She couldn't answer any of these questions and she cursed her self. She wondered sometimes whether coming here was the right thing to do. It seemed like an easy way out at the time when it was all new to her, but now that she was in a situation where she was either going to fail tremendously or advance incredibly she was torn. Yes, she wanted to become a witch and she wanted to come to Hogwarts, but there was more going on then she agreed to and it was mainly boiling down to the soft shimmering fumes of the poisonous Potions Master.

She sighed to her self for what seemed the hundredth time that day and she studied the ripples of the water one last time before she decided she had better get back into the castle. She walked up the hill and under the low hanging branches of the giant shade tree when she heard a crackling noise behind her. She turned as quick as she could and peered through the night to find the source of the distraction. When she saw nothing she made to turn back around but not before a pair of hands grasped her, one around her arm and the other over her mouth. She let a muffled scream escape her lips as she felt her self being pulled backwards. Instantly all the horrors of her birthday came back to her and fear took over the senses in her head. She was paralyzed by terror. The voice swimming into her ear made absolutely no connection with her brain. She stared, petrified, into the blurry face of the stranger in front of her, unable to move. It looked familiar but yet she couldn't make out whom it was. It was talking to her but she couldn't understand it. She waited for the switches of reaction to be turned on inside her but nothing came, she simply stared.

* * *

****

I'm so sorry to leave you hanging like this but unfortunately that's the way the game is played and I like to stick to the rules… well sometimes, HaHa! I'll be back soon, sooner then this last time I promise, and you will find out then what happens next in Seda's journey. Stay tuned… Toodles!


	33. When All the World Seems Upside Down

_Let me first just say that I know many of you are wondering '"What else is going to happen to Seda?" and "Who took her?" I wish I could just tell you but… you'll see. I have to give a big hoorah to **Elleke** and **Evil Loverke** because they never give up and I appreciate you guyz more then you know. **SSL, Ginevra, AlbA** and the rest of my faithful readers I love you all too so don't feel left out. Well ok, here we go into the next chapter. I hope you like it. Toodles!_

_

* * *

_

The blackness around her was dominating and the more she struggled for the light the further she was pushed into shadows. Icy chills rose over her body and her breath felt as though it were frozen. She could feel the presence of another body near her but all other senses were lost. Everything was in a haze, her vision cloudy and her brain foggy. It was a strange feeling she had; it felt as if the very moments that passed were all a dream but somewhere deep in her mind she knew this was real. She prayed it wasn't.

* * *

Severus sat in his office trying to concentrate on the stack of papers before him. After the feast he returned to the dungeons as usual, readying himself for the tedious task of grading the mundane essays, and here he found him self all too soon, patiently reading the same line over and over again. He raised a hand to his forehead and began to rub over his left eye; the process of going over the same papers was never easy or exciting. He took a long breath and then reached for a glass. He conjured a bottle of a particularly strong drink and began to pour himself a draft when a bang came at his door. Slightly startled he set the bottle down at once and stared at the door, waiting for something to happen. He was half way in setting the glass down also when a series of loud bangs came again, then a voice. A voice he had not been expecting, someone he didn't care to see at all at the moment.

"Snape! Open the door… this is serious!" Severus hesitated to answer. "I know you're in there… now open this door before I blast it to oblivion! Open the door dam-" The door flew open.

Snape stood in the doorframe with amusement and irritation flashing in his eyes. "You have no subtleties Potter! Now what is it that you-?" As his eyes traveled from the furious face of the young man and former student to the limp figure behind him they widened without thought. "What happened?" He tried to ask calmly.

Harry levitated the unconscious girl onto the sofa and turned to face his ex professor who was looking either extremely concerned or extremely irritated. "She blacked out just now, when we were outside." Harry looked firmly into Snape's pale face.

Snape lowered his eyebrows. "You mean to tell me that she simply blacked out, for no known reason? I find that very curious Potter. Tell me, what was she doing outside with you and why exactly are you here in the first place?" He narrowed his eyes.

Harry straightened his shoulders and drew himself to his full height, which was only an inch below Snape's. He looked contently into his dark eyes and said, "First of all we hadn't planned to meet outside and secondly it is none of your business why I'm here. I don't think she knew it was me anyway." He said a little softer as he glanced over his shoulder at her. When he looked back Snape didn't look like he believed a word he said. In fact he looked angrier now then before.

"Then why exactly does she lay here unconscious Potter? What did you do?" He demanded in a strong tone. With all his might he tried to bite his tongue, there was so much more he would have liked to say.

Harry threw him a dirty look and opened his mouth to yell but he caught himself. He took a quick breath and started again. "I didn't do anything to her. I told you already, she blacked out. I saw her walking along the lake and I followed to talk to her. When she was walking she fell over and I ran down to see what happened. That's the truth whether you believe it or not and I know you can sense if I'm lying to you so don't try to pull it over on me." Harry stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared at him with out a flinch.

Snape looked as though he was thinking and considering his words then slowly a small smirk crept upon his face. Rather calmly he said, "As I said before Potter, you have no subtleties. However you have at least learned to play my way." Harry raised an eyebrow and at that Snape walked around him towards the sofa. "I should question something though. Why have you brought her to me? Why didn't you take her straight to Madame Pomfrey?" He examined her closely.

Harry stood where he was and answered. "Because I know you have been running some sort of experiment on her and I thought you could best address the problem." As they stood with their backs to the other Snape raised an eyebrow and said. "I thought you were an Auror Potter? Shouldn't you have learned to notice and correct these situations by now?" He allowed himself the few seconds of satisfaction once more before he expected Harry's bold remarks.

"Clever insult Snape but I must admit that you are wrong yet again." Before he gave Snape the chance to curse, poison, yell or whatever to him he marched to the sofa and said, "Besides that I thought you should see this." At that moment he flicked his wand and the sleeves of her robes were lifted to reveal the same red and bruising burn marks around her wrists. "You tell me, what is this?" Harry said pointing at her wrists.

Snape stared for a moment transfixed by the strange marks then gathered him self. "Nothing I haven't seen before." He said in a low voice as he turned his head away from the young man standing next to him. Harry followed him closely. "I wonder though…" Snape began to say then he thought for a moment. Harry continued to watch him, amused at this unusual behavior.

"You wonder what?" Harry began but Snape stretched out his hand towards the collar of her shirt. He began to pull the hem of it down, to reveal her chest but Harry grabbed his arm and tried to pull it away. "What are you doing?" Harry said scandalized as he stared furiously into Snape's eyes. Snape pushed Harry's hand away and continued but Harry put his hand over her chest to make him stop. "What do you think you are doing Snape?"

Snape took a deep breath, anchoring himself so he wouldn't yell and spoke in a forced calm as if he were explaining something to a five year old. "I'm checking for other marks Potter. You see, as I'm the one who runs the experiments, as you like to call them, on her regularly then I believe I know what I'm doing. Now stop interrupting me." He said dangerously and continued. When he pulled the top of her shirt down just enough to see over her heart he expected to find the same bruising that was there before but there was nothing. Not believing his eyes he stared at it trying to convince himself the marks were really there. All that was there was skin, a bra and a gold chain around her neck with a tiny golden ring and cross dangling from it.

"What are you staring at?" Harry said disgusted. "Nothing is there, can't you see?" He said rather aggressively. Snape's eyes shot towards him and narrowed. "I can see perfectly well Potter."

Harry's eyes bore right into his. "Then what are you looking at? What are you and Hermione doing with her anyway? Something happened to her, I know it, but she won't tell me. Now tell me, what is it that you are doing?"

"Having a title of the famous Harry Potter doesn't ensure you the right to know everything. You haven't changed much I see." Snape spat at him. Harry stood still, his face reddening with anger. In a very low voice he said, "Neither have you." He glared him down for a second then turned away from him. He took a few steps towards the desk and paused. "I thought we settled this Snape. I thought we both grew out of this stage but I can see that you still hold something against me and undoubtedly about something I can't and could never control. Why is that you must always bring up my past to taunt me as a means of satisfying yourself? You know, I never had the choice in choosing my anger towards you, you forced it on me yourself." He said bitterly.

The corner of Snape's mouth was curling into a snarl but he forced himself to stop. He would never ever admit it but Potter did have a point, but Snape wouldn't even allow himself to comprehend that. He liked the fact that he could torment Harry like he used to in school, but he did always try to do it for the boys own good. It was more difficult now, there really wasn't much reason for him to treat him like this but it was such a habit he couldn't help himself. He knew the burdens Harry carried for so long at such a young age, that he had to rid of the evil that threatened the existence of the wizarding world, and that for so long he had to endure the ridicule, humiliation and torture set forth by the community and certain persons within the walls of Hogwarts while he was in school. He was quite aware that he didn't necessarily make it any easier for him, but one thing he always tried to make linger over his thick skull was the fact that it wouldn't become any easier and what he was going to face would be a thousand times worse.

After all the horrors Snape had to witness he couldn't help but try and make Harry realize he was going to experience it too and that there wouldn't always be someone there to help you through it. When Harry finally defeated Voldemort in his seventh year he, Snape, couldn't believe how much Harry had changed. For a while he was silent as the grave and ignored everyone in sight then something happened. It was as if he had begun to see the world in a new light and for the first time he had begun to really respect Snape for who and what he really was.

The strangest occurrence he remembered was a time when Harry was sitting in his office a little over a month after the final battle. They were discussing his grades on Potions and going over some final arrangements for him to begin his Auror training and out of nowhere Harry said very quietly, "I never realized I would ever come to this point when I could finally appreciate what you put me through."

He looked up with a question in his eyes and furrowed eyebrows, had he heard what he just thought he had heard. "How do you mean Potter?" He said accusingly. "I think I can understand your past better now then I thought I did before. You must have had reason to treat me the way you did and I can look past the anger it caused me and appreciate what you were trying to show me. I don't think I would be here… if it wasn't for the determination to go on it made me prove to myself." Harry looked up at Snape's confused face and for once Snape had nothing to say. Snape readjusted his eyes on the papers below him and when he glanced back up the seventeen year old Harry was no longer sitting in front if him, he was vanishing into thin air, but the older Harry was walking towards him, becoming clearer.

Snape blinked and the haziness that was there before was gone. He stood straight and tried to clear his mind. "What's going on Snape? I would really like to know why she is like this." Harry waited for him to answer and when all he got was a stare he marched towards the door preparing to leave.

"I can't tell you everything Potter. If she feels the need to tell you then she will, but you cannot force me to give you explanations." Snape said coolly. Harry reached the door and pulled it open. He paused for a minute, thinking, then said, "Fine. Then let her know I'll be contacting her soon and…" Snape broke in. "Potter! You can't just drag her in here and expect me to deal with this as if it's my duty." His voice echoed through out the room. "I thought she was your duty… take care of her…" He left with a click of the door.

Severus pointed his wand at her head and muttered a quiet incantation. He watched… waited… and memorized.

* * *

When she opened her eyes she found herself in a dark room and she couldn't quite place where she was, yet it felt familiar. She could hear the rain beating against a window and the distant and gentle rolls of thunder answered back to the faint flashes of light. With the last flash of light she could just make out a small round room, lined with shelves of various objects. She pushed herself up to a sitting position and swung her legs over the side of the sofa. She rested her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. What happened she thought to her self? She tried to remember the last thing she did and where she was. "I was in the Great Hall… then I left and I… hmm, I went… where did I go?" She said quietly to herself. She let out a moan of frustration. "Outside perhaps." This wasn't her voice. She looked up from her hands and searched the dark room for the source of the voice. She knew this voice, it was… "Professor?" She said in a nervous voice. Immediately the surroundings became all too familiar. "What… why am I down here?" She asked as she stood up. She could see that he was sitting in his chair, as usual, but there was no fire in the grate. It was completely dark except for the flashes of lightening every now and then.

"Mr. Potter brought you to me. It seems that when you were outside you blacked out, as he says, and he then brought you to me. You've been asleep now for nearly three hours, after I revived you anyway." He said this as if it happened regularly. She wasn't able to comprehend what he was telling her. "When was I outside? And when was I with… but I saw him this afternoon, not tonight. Are you sure?" She said this rather quickly and she placed a hand on her head and closed her eyes.

"I am quite sure, however I have no idea why you passed out. What were you doing outside with him anyway?" She could still only see the vivid outline of him but she was sure he was giving her that look where no matter what she said he wouldn't believe her. "I wasn't outside with him. I was walking by the lake and…" She gasped and put a hand to her mouth. "Someone grabbed me. That's the last thing I remember, someone was trying to grab me. I never saw Harry." She plopped back onto the sofa just as Snape came strolling around the desk. She thought he was going to move in next to her but he stayed back in the shadows. It was a strange feeling, normally he would present himself, not stand back where she couldn't see him. She didn't like that; it made her feel uncomfortable.

"Why were you outside with him? Why won't you just tell me?" His voice was changing. She looked up at him slowly, trying to keep the panic rising inside her calm. She couldn't see his face but she knew he was staring at her with those eyes. "I wasn't outside with him, I swear. Why are you staring at me like that?" She said angrily. He was moving closer to her, but slowly and stealthily. "Tell me! Why were you with him Seda, answer me!" He started to yell at her as he continued to move in closer. She was frightened now. Why was he acting so strange and so… cold? Se sat paralyzed with confusion as he moved in closer. She could see his tall dark frame now and, this was odd, he was wearing a hood. Why was he wearing a hood she thought? He continued to move closer and her sense of panic increased. She looked at where his face should be but she couldn't see it underneath that dark hood. It was so dark and… "Why are you…?" She stopped. He was within feet of her and he began to lean towards her. His face was gone, there was nothing there but what should have been. She screamed as she tried to get away from him.

* * *

She awoke with a start and as she jumped, nearly out of her skin, her head collided with something very hard. She heard a gasp and a sharp intake of breath as she too let out a cry of pain. She opened her eyes and began to pant heavily. She was in the same room as before but this time it wasn't so dark. When she looked up she saw the same professor, but this time with a face and a hand pressing against his head. She looked at him bewildered. What just happened? She tried to speak but when she opened her mouth the only sounds that came out were that of gasps for air. She took a few gulps of air then spoke breathlessly. "Professor? What happened? Are you alright?" She took in a sharp intake of breath too as she felt the throbbing in her forehead. She placed a hand to her head and rubbed it.

"Apparently you had another dream, but this time you jumped and our heads came into contact." He said while rubbing his head. "Did you have- Miss Wood why exactly are you looking at me like that?" He said puzzled. Seda was staring at his face, more like examining it. She rolled onto her side and lifted a hand to his face and touched it. Snape raised his eyebrows as she continued to touch him. "Just what are you doing?" He said almost angry yet slightly fascinated.

"You…" She pushed herself up to a sitting position, but she curled her legs underneath her like a cat. "You have a… face." She sounded breathless. As she took her hand away she let her fingers gently slide across his skin and then draw back slowly and hover in front of him as if she was blocking him. Snape raised his own hand and put it on hers, pushing it back into her lap. "Yes, I have a face Miss Wood. Amazing as it may be to you, I do have one. Now tell me, did you just have another dream?"

She stared at him as if she were watching something unbelievable then she shook her head and said, "Y-yes… I-I mean no. No it wasn't the same, it was… different." Her words were pieced together as she was still in a haze. Snape stared at her as if she was losing her marbles. He sat back in the chair he was sitting on and crossed his arms. "How do you mean different?"

"I had a dream, but it wasn't the usual one. This time… this time… _you_ were in it." She swallowed hard. "You… didn't have a face. You were forcing me to answer you why I was outside with Harry." She swallowed again. "But I don't understand, I was never outside with him. The last thing I remember…" She started to breath heavier, almost panting. Snape raised an eyebrow at this. She started to shake her head as if she were saying no to someone. "Someone… they were trying to grab me!" Her voice was starting to crack. "Someone was there!" She was practically hysterical now.

"No one was trying to grab you Miss Wood. Mr. Potter did bring you here, after you blacked out." He tried to say as calm as possible as he leaned forward. She jumped up from the sofa and stared at him as if he were insane. "Yes they did! I never saw Harry!" Snape continued to act calmly. He had to look up at her now as she was standing over him. "Yes there was! There was! There was someone there! They tried to grab me! I know it! That's why there are marks on my wrists! There was someone there!" She was shaking now and her eyes began to fill with tears. "Look!" She shoved her arms out in front of him. "Look at them! I'm not lying! Why don't you believe me?" She was absolutely losing it.

Snape stood up and tried to push her arms down but she protested. She wedged her hands in between the two of them so that they were on his chest. He had to grab her shoulders to make her stand still. "Miss Wood! Calm down. No body was trying to hurt you." He had to struggle to keep her from breaking free. She wasn't giving up. The few tears started to find their way down her cheeks and once again he noticed her eyes were turning into the most magnificent shade of bright blue he had ever seen. "Yes there was! Someone… somebody… they grabbed me! They… grabbed-" She was stifling the sobs coming up now and she had to breath heavier and faster to allow the air to find its way to her lungs.

"Miss Wood! You must calm down!" His voice was also starting to panic. "N-no! I can't!" She pleaded. She was trying to claw her way out of his grip but he was to strong for her. She was shaking her head from side to side, trying to make him understand. Finally he let go of her shoulders and she thought she was free but he placed his hands firmly on her face and stared at her. He could feel her shaking. She looked up at him with her sparkling blue eyes but he was blurry since her vision was full of tears. "Miss Wood…" He said very soft. "I swear to you… no one was trying to harm you."

She didn't understand why he was so calm. She tried to shake her head and her lips trembled. The warmth of his hands against her skin was starting to soothe her but she was still so confused. "No… someone…" She couldn't speak anymore. His dark eyes were like darts, piercing into her mind. She was feeling weak. She lifted her hands from his chest and placed them around his own, which were still holding her face. Her hands were much smaller than his but she tried to lock them around his wrists, anchoring herself so she wouldn't fall over. He could still feel that she was shaking. "Why don't you believe me?" She said quietly as her voice cracked.

He continued to stare into her, not taking his eyes away from hers. "Silence now." His voice was so gentle. She could feel his breath on her forehead as he spoke. It was warm yet it sent chills over her body. She closed her eyes and the last few tears found their way out and ran down her cheeks but his hand caught them. Slowly he brushed them away with his thumbs and the gentle massage against her skin made her gasp.

She could sense the feeling of something drawing nearer to her and she wanted to see, but she was afraid to open her eyes. She desperately tried to steady the beating of her heart but it was thumping so fast she thought it would explode. She could also feel the throbbing burns around her wrists but she pushed it aside. She could still feel his breath on her as he breathed in slowly. The warmth of it was so relaxing. She could just make out his scent, which she also remembered so plainly. It was strange because she could almost hear his heart beating too. She dared herself to open her eyes and when she did nothing she ever thought could prepare her for what was about to happen.

When she opened her eyes Severus had the greatest rush he had even known. Something inside him was stopping every thought he had and it was also sending him the most lighthearted feeling he had ever felt. With her eyes still not wavering from his sight he leaned in and claimed her lips to his own. He didn't know why he was doing this but something was telling him to and he couldn't stop it. He thought for sure as she looked up and blinked into his dark eyes that she would run away from him but what he didn't expect was for her to softly close her eyes and lean into him. Something felt so familiar about this and the distant memory of it was crashing back into his mind. He had the urge to pull away from her but he found that he held her face tighter then before as if he couldn't risk letting her go. The taste of her lips was delicious and sweet and he could feel the soft movement of her tongue inside his mouth. It sent a buzz to his brain.

When she realized she was beginning to lose her self in the moment she had to stop it from going too far. She regretted this but she pulled away from his wonderful lips and stepped away.

He watched her move towards the door and he knew there was nothing he could to stop her. He couldn't even speak. She was drifting away from him so gracefully. Her face looked that of sincere yet puzzled. She spoke to him in the softest of voices. "Thank you." That was all she said and she slipped through the door like vanishing smoke in the sky and disappeared into the night.

She ran up to the landing of the Entrance Hall and she then slowed her pace. She stepped lightly but her shoes still echoed eerily in the sleeping silence. As she reached the middle of the Hall the moonlight shone through a window like a spotlight, making its way up the steps. As she stepped into the pool of silvery blue light she stopped. She panted slightly as she looked down at the floor. She raised her hand to push a strand of hair off her face but she paused. She lifted her other hand so it was even with the other and she examined them closely. It was strange she thought; the burn marks were gone.


	34. Is this Supposed to be Detention?

To my wonderful readers, you all are truly fantastic!

* * *

On an early November morning Seda woke to a bitingly cold room and frosted windows. It was as though someone had placed a charm on them for the pattern of lacy ice was so delicately weaved through the other. When she pulled the covers off her she regretted it almost at once. She had a brilliant idea of curling back up underneath them but she reminded herself she had classes to go to. Reluctantly she dragged herself to the bathroom and stepped into the exoticness of her shower, never wanting to leave.

Sitting through Potions class was rather strange indeed that day. As usual Snape assigned them with a difficult potion but that wasn't what bothered her, in fact the more complex the potion was the more she enjoyed it. The strange thing was he glided around her constantly that day, looking down over her shoulder with his hair in his face, finding something to criticize her about. He normally had nothing to say to her and he kept his distance but not this day. It was very unnerving she thought because she began to feel very self-conscious of her work, resulting in her actually making a mistake. She had never once done something wrong in her potion making, never caused a fire or an explosion of any sort but she misinterpreted her thoughts.

He had just roamed around her, after giving her quite a few glares, and insisted she not be so heavy handed with a particular ingredient. She had turned her head to stare after him in question when a hiss, a loud crack and sounds of bubbling and melting pewter followed. She looked back in horror and found to her great surprise that she had melted her first cauldron. She stared at it with her mouth wide open and when the classroom turned to see who had done it they all made sounds of disbelief. A few of them stared just as shocked as Seda but many had looks of concern on their faces, for they saw the return of the Potions Master heading straight for her.

"I thought I told you to lighten up with that last ingredient. Tell me, do you know how to follow instruction or were your thoughts else where?" He asked her in a cold and non-sarcastic voice. She was stunned and she couldn't answer. "Well?" He demanded.

Seda stuttered. "I-I… didn't mean to… you made me do it…" She heard the gasps spread around the room and the deadly silence that came was extremely intimidating. She looked up at him with narrowed eyes and question etched in her face. Why would he humiliate her like that? The look that came in his eyes next told her she was in trouble.

"What did you say to me?" He looked at her with an unreadable expression. She looked back at him and said, "You made me do that on purpose… professor." She wasn't quite sure if she should be so honest right now. Again, the gasps around the room were chilling. "Clean this up right away." He snapped at her as he turned on his heel back to the rest of the class. "Get back to work. I don't recall telling any of you that there was a break." He barked to them and they immediately scrambled back to work. Many of them looked up cautiously as he walked by and then turned their eyes towards Seda who stood where she was staring at the professor.

She looked around the room, irritated, and then clenched her teeth together and pulled out her wand. She pointed her wand at the mess and muttered, "Evanesco" where it then disappeared. She waved her wand and muttered another spell, "Reparo" and her cauldron corrected it self. She sat at her desk with her arms crossed, waiting for the remainder of the class to be over. She was going to march up to him and demand he let her do it over, so at least she didn't receive an F for the day.

When the class filed out of the room she swung her book bag over her shoulder and walked up to his desk. She stood there silently until he acknowledged her. A minute later, with his head bent over his notes, he said, "Is there something you need Miss Wood?" He said this rather calmly. She narrowed her eyes at this but went on. "I want to make-up my potion so I don't receive an F for today." She said this clearly. He still had not looked up at her. She found this annoying. She gave an obvious false cough, urging him to answer.

"No." He said plainly, head still bent over his notes. She was angry. "Excuse me, but I deserve to make it up." She said still calmly. He continued to write away, not even glancing up at her. "And why do you think that?" He asked just as calm.

"Because, you were nagging me deliberately all day which made me mess up purposely. Therefore I deserve another chance, professor." She said this a little more sternly.

"I was not nagging you deliberately Miss Wood. If you cannot accept criticism without making mistakes then it is no more my fault then the next person. You will receive an F." He said this as if this concluded the matter. When she forcefully slammed her hands down on the surface he was working on he finally looked up at her. "That's not fair!" She said protesting his rudeness. "You are doing this on purpose." She stared at him with daggers flying out of her eyes.

"I am doing nothing on purpose and do not accuse me of anything if you do not know what you are talking about." His voice was still surprisingly calm. "Now if you will please remove your hands, they are blocking my notes." There was a slight hiss in his voice. They stared at each other for a long moment.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. I want that make-up potion." She was beginning to sound forceful. He stared at her for another long moment then he smirked at her and dropped his head to his notes, where he pulled them out from beneath her hands. She lost her balance slightly with the sudden movement of her hands and she caught the edge of the desk to stand straight. She waited for him to say something else, and he did. "Come here at eight o'clock Miss Wood." He said finally.

She removed her hands from his desk and stiffened her frame. "Why? Are you going to let me make it up then?" She said almost cheerfully. He didn't look at her but he answered, "You have detention." She at once let out a sound of disbelief and protest. "What?" She shrieked. He answered back, "Not another word or it will be two detentions. Good day to you." His voice was silky.

She had enough. She whipped around and stormed off towards the door, mumbling all the way under her breath about the unfairness of it all. When she pulled open the dungeon door she looked back at him on her way out. She noticed he was following her with his eyes and there was amusement in them. She rolled her eyes at him then slammed the door closed behind her. He was impossible she yelled in her head.

On return to her rooms Aura came fluttering towards her and hooted cheerfully. "Hello." Seda said to her but the owl continued to hoot at her. "What is it?" She asked and the owl flew into the bedroom. Seda walked in and found Aura flying around the doors to the balcony. Seda walked over and found that a white owl was tapping on the window, trying to get in. She opened the door and the snow colored owl flew in with a letter in its beak. Seda took it and opened it. Her eyes zoomed from one line to the next and when she was finished she looked up. "You must be Hedwig then, aren't you? I see we finally get to meet." Seda rubbed the owl's head and Hedwig hooted back softly.

"Well, I expect he will want a reply right away but he is just going to have to wait. I'll send him a short note but tell him not to worry… well, if you can." She said awkwardly. It wasn't as though the owl could actually speak, but she knew she could understand her. Seda scribbled a short note saying she would write back later and told him not to worry about her. She stuffed the letter into an envelope and sent Hedwig on her way. She watched her fly into the clouds, where she disappeared into the fog and was gone.

Seda sat on her bed and stared at the letter, she was not just angry about having that detention, but now she was positively irritated with Snape. If what the letter held true then she was going to have some questions answered. She tried not to think about it as she left for lunch, but when her eyes fell upon him sitting at the table the fury inside her was ringing. She sat down next to him and stared at him as she sat down, giving him that look, then she continued to stare at him until he noticed. When she saw his eyes flicker towards her she knew he saw the look she was giving him and he turned his head to look at her properly. He had question in his face but she simply narrowed her eyes at him and turned the other way, pouring herself some tea. She ignored him for the rest of the meal and the same went for dinner. Once she noticed he tried to ask her a question, but she pretended not to notice. He deserved it.

At seven thirty Seda sat at in one of the armchairs next to the warmth of the fire, writing her letter to Harry that she promised. She reread his letter every so often, just to make sure she got to all the points. Nearly twenty minutes later she was satisfied with her response and she included a few questions of her own. After reading it through for the third time she sent it off with Aura and she headed for the dungeons in the meantime, steadying herself not to explode when she saw him.

She entered the potions classroom at eight o'clock and walked around to the front, he wasn't there. She made a huffing noise that released her annoyance and she looked around the dark room again, but it made no difference, there was no one there. Every time she walked down to the dungeons now she felt extremely paranoid, after what happened obviously. She didn't trust the darkness of the corridors any more and she found it hard to be by herself. If she tried to be around people she also found that she'd rather be by herself because she felt uncomfortable around almost anyone now. Having this detention was getting the better of her nerves.

She walked to the corner of the room and sat on top of a desk, staring out one of the small high windows that let the moonlight spill in. She sat there swinging her legs back and forth waiting for him to show up as the patterns of stars dazzled her. Several minutes later she heard a door open and close again, and then she saw a tall dark figure walking to the front of the classroom. He was finally here and about time too she thought, all though she didn't move or say a word.

She watched him move around his desk, looking for something, then stand against a wall and fold his arms up in his robes. That amused her for a second, she always found it… mysterious, the way he folded his arms inside his robes like that. She shook her head to stop her self from getting carried away. She noticed he was staring at the door, obviously waiting for her to enter, but what he didn't know was that she was already there. Apparently he couldn't see her because she was in a dark corner and she liked it that way. She felt as if she was spying on him almost. She wondered if this were how he waited all the time, making him self appear intimidating as if he knew the precise moment she would walk in. She stifled a giggle to herself at how serious he was constantly, but then she remembered why she was here and the feeling of giddiness was gone.

She waited another minute to see if he would move but he didn't budge so she decided to act. "How long were you planning to wait like that?" She said in a voice very soft and quiet but accusing. He didn't turn his head or move but he said calmly, "Until you decided to show yourself." He spoke with that same tone of all knowing and power he loved. She lowered her eyebrows. "How did you know I was here?" She asked perplexed.

"I have ways of knowing things Miss Wood, some of which you do not." He spoke again extremely calm. "Now, if you would step out of the shadows we can continue."

"Continue what?" She asked, still not moving from her spot. "Have you not figured that out yet? The lesson of course, what else would it be?" he said annoyed. She continued to sit where she was. "What are you talking about? I'm supposed to be here because I have detention, or have you forgotten that?" She said aggressively.

"Do not test me Miss Wood. Now come over here." He said trying to remain patient. "Why is it so dark in here? Surely you don't expect me to work in the dark." Snape was biting his tongue; she was maddening sometimes. He moved out from behind the desk with incredible speed and strolled toward her until he was just in front of her. She leaned back away from him slightly, while holding onto the edge of the desk, at his sudden closeness. He said something she didn't catch and suddenly the torches on the wall lit up, but the room was still dim. "Satisfied?" He said looking at her. She lost herself in his eyes for a moment before she said, "Y-yes."

She sat up straight once more and they were barely a foot from the other now. She took in a short breath then pressed her lips together. He was rather intimidating this close, not that she hadn't been this close to him before though. She knew they had been much closer in the past, but times were different now. She waited for him to say something but he continued to watch her. She was feeling awkward. He folded his arms up again inside his robes and continued to watch her. She couldn't read his expression so she blinked and looked away from him. She turned her head to her shoulder and she started to swing her legs again. She noticed she was clutching the edge of the desk extremely tight. Then she glanced up at him from beneath her lashes and her heart felt light.

She couldn't take this anymore; she was supposed to be annoyed with him, not fascinated. She cleared her throat and looked back at her shoulder. Her t-shirt was hanging off of it so her skin was revealed and she gently brushed her chin against it. Why was he staring at her she questioned herself? She decided to speak up. "I received a letter from Harry today." She said while amusing herself with the shirt hanging off her shoulder. He raised his eyebrows but didn't answer. "He had some very interesting things to say you know."

"No, I didn't know." He said continuing to watch her. His eyes traveled to the bare skin she was looking at. She tried hard not to look at him. "Well, he told me that you and him were talking last night and it involved me." She scratched her nose. "Did you know he found me by the lake?" She asked him quietly.

"Yes. I told you that before. What does this have to do with anything?" He said back to her, wondering why she was bringing this up. "Well, obviously I never saw him if he found me passed out already. Someone was there with me last night, someone grabbed me and it wasn't him." She looked up at him, wondering if he would believe her.

"It's hard to say what happened exactly Miss Wood. Perhaps you were dreaming, or maybe you were hallucinating." He studied her expressions. "I'm not lying to you and I'm not hallucinating. I- you do believe me don't you? Professor?" Her voice was so soft and innocent. The look she was giving him was drawing him into her. How was it that she did that? He looked deeply into her eyes, trying to search for something else.

When he didn't answer she jumped down from the table and they were now touching each other. She raised one of her hands to his arm and grabbed it as she stared up at him. "Don't you?" She asked a bit harsher while squeezing his arm. That felt nice she noticed but she pushed it aside. "You still don't believe me do you? You think I'm making this up?" She let go of him and started to walk away. As she walked away from him she said, "Maybe you think I'm lying about my dreams too. Maybe I'll just have to suffer without ever knowing why I have them. Is this how you see it? Because that's certainly how I see it!" She said while throwing her arms up in the air with frustration. Her temper was getting the better of her, which was very strange.

Snape stared at her as if she really was going crazy. "I think you are acting a bit irrational Miss Wood." That was all he could say. She started to walk back towards him. "I'm being irrational? Well, I'm glad you are expressing your feelings clearly now. Tell me then, why don't you just tell me the truth about everything?" She yelled at him and he raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?" He snapped at her. "When haven't I been honest with you?" His temper was also rising.

"I don't know… maybe always?" She was really angry with him. "You are being ridiculous, now stop acting so childish you ignorant girl." He snapped at her again. The smoke was practically puffing out her nose. "Why didn't you just tell me? Why did you have to hide it?" She yelled at him again. "Tell you what? What exactly am I hiding from you, tell me!" He yelled back, though not as loud as her.

"Why did you tell him I was raped? Couldn't you leave me that last bit of dignity?" She yelled at him again. He looked positively stunned. He stared at her as if she really did lose her mind. As he narrowed his eyes at her he said, "I never told him anything of the sort. Do you really think that I would tell him, or anyone that if you wished for me not too? Why would you accuse me of saying such a thing?" He was furious with her.

"Well I didn't tell him and he knew! He told me, damn it, that he knew what happened to me and if I was upset with him he was sorry! Who else would have told him? You said he was here last night. What a perfect opportunity while I was unconscious! Did you tell him anything else? Did you confess about those times you kissed me? Did you tell him I almost had sex with you? Did you?" She roared at him with all her might. She could feel her face burning with heat and anger. She thought her eyes must have been turning red at that moment, because she felt flames fly out of them.

His eyes widened in shock. What the hell was she saying? "Just what the hell made you think I would ever tell someone that? Answer me!" He bellowed back. His face was not pale as usual but it was reddening as well. She ran up to him preparing to hit him or whatever it took to relieve her anger but as she came closer he grabbed her by the arms and held her as far away from him as he could. "Answer me!" He yelled at her again.

She tried to swing at him but he held her arms tightly. "What is wrong with you?" He questioned her angrily. She yelled while struggling to get free. "I… you… I want this… to end! I've had… enough! I can't believe… anyone!" She was panting. Snape shook her as he said; "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong! I've never told anyone about what happened between us, do you understand me? No one knows! I regret it happened but I can't change that!" She immediately became limp.

It felt like a rock had been dropped into her stomach and it took her heart along with it. "What?" She asked quietly in disbelief. "What did you just say?" Her voice was much quieter now that she wasn't yelling but it was cracking. Snape almost at once realized what he just said and knew it was a mistake. The look of pain on her face was quite clear to him that he said the wrong thing. "You… regret it? Even after you kissed me again last night? I don't believe this! You are playing with me aren't you?" She asked in a hurtful voice.

"That's not what I meant… I meant that-" He began in a waspish voice but she broke free of his grip as she said disgusted, "Let go of me." As if he were a monstrous animal. She wiggled free of his grip and walked away from him backwards. "I can't believe you just said that. I thought I… at least… was something to you." She shook her head as she lowered her eyebrows at the hurt. "What did you mean exactly? What do **_I_ **mean exactly?" She asked again, her voice shaking. He moved forward but she moved away.

"I don't know what I mean exactly, you must forgive me." He said trying to make her understand. "I'm sorry, but I can't forgive you, not for that. You meant that didn't you? I don't mean anything do I? I'm just some girl you can play around with. Is that why you brought me here in the first place, to Hogwarts? What… did you pick me out and decide I was going to be your victim or something? What was it?" She knew what she was saying was ridiculous but she was in such a state she couldn't believe she was saying these things either.

"No! That's not what happened. I never planned to…" He stopped with caution in his eyes. Her eyes flashed at him. "You never planned to what?" She asked him warily, not really wanting to hear the answer. "It doesn't matter anymore." He said trying to look away from her.

"Why do you always do this? Why can't you just be honest with me for once instead of hiding everything? You can let your emotions out around me, I'm not going to bite." She said snapping at him. "I…" he looked away from her, "I can't let you in." He finished quietly. The feeling rising in him was something he had never felt before.

"Why?" She asked him concerned. "You won't understand, trust me." He answered back very quietly. She continued to stare at him as if he was floating away. She didn't believe her ears. The tables had definitely turned now. "What won't I understand? Tell me!" She said becoming upset. "You don't think I've dealt with enough already? Is that it? You think I'm going to look at you differently because of your past? I already told you that I don't care who you were before, that wasn't you! I'm not a little girl! I can handle it!" She finished again, her voice becoming increasingly more upset.

He whipped around so quickly it scared her and within a second he had her snatched up by the arms again. "You couldn't possibly understand the things I've done… what I had to do. I've seen things that you wouldn't even believe in your nightmares and I have to live with them for the rest of my life. Don't tell me you can handle it because you can't!" His voice was low and cold. She stared at him through wide eyes, almost paralyzed with fear. He released her and she swayed on the spot that she stood.

"You don't think I'm as strong as you. Just because it makes you feel weak doesn't mean I am too." She said softly. "What do you know?" He threw at her savagely. "You know nothing about it." His voice was still low. She took a step toward him, cautiously. "I want to know something then. Why was it that we nearly had sex if you don't want me to understand you? That wasn't just a mutual feeling that night and you know it." She spoke piercingly straight forward with not a sound of hesitation in her voice. She couldn't believe she was saying this. She had wanted to say it for so long but she didn't know how.

He looked away from her; he couldn't bear to look her in the face. "It was a mistake, it shouldn't have gone that far. There… were no feelings involved… that night." The words were hard to find and it felt awkward saying it, like he was forcing it. Again, she felt another rock drop into her stomach. "Then why did you kiss me last night?" She was puzzled. "Why are you… teasing my heart?" She said so soft that he could barely hear her. She couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth; it was as though someone was pulling them out of the pits of her chest.

"You walked away last night." He said, not sure why he said it. Her temper was rising again. "But why did you kiss me?" She yelled. "You were upset. I tried to calm you." He answered. She didn't believe him. "You are a liar! Why did you do it? She yelled again. "I don't know!" He shouted back. He couldn't believe how weak he was feeling right now. Never had he confessed so much to one person in such a short time.

Seda clenched her jaw and spoke through gritted teeth. "How do you not know?" Her voice was cool but fierce. He didn't reply this time, he was at a loss for words. She stood there waiting for him to say something, anything. Her fists were balled so tightly they were white. When another moment passed with out him answering she finally crossed her arms and turned her back to him. "I-" Her voice was shaking again and she could feel a tear swelling up in her eyes. "I don't… think…" She had to grasp the material on her shirt to keep her from shaking. "I don't think I can… stay here… anymore. Her voice was weak.

Severus looked down at his hands, which were shaking slightly. "Maybe that is best then. We can continue this lesson some other time." He said sternly. "N-no." She said turning to him with a tear falling down her face. "I mean… I mean that… I want to leave… I-I want... to… g-go home." She finished painfully. She was shaking.

He looked at her. "What?" He said softly. "I want… to go home. I'm n-not dealing with this… anymore. I've had enough." She said still shaking and holding onto her sleeves. He stared at her as if she was joking. "You don't mean that." He said forcefully. He saw the tears falling down her cheeks and he knew she was very upset with him. "Y-yes I d-do." She tried to sound as normal and calm as possible but there was a burning in her chest. "You can't." He said lowering his eyebrows. "Y-yes I can." She finished with a look of determination straight into his eyes. He knew she was bluffing. He could sense it but she was good at hiding it. She was lying… wasn't she? Seda looked at him for one last second then she turned away from him and ran out the door, blocking the horrible pain swelling in her chest. He stared after her, knowing she was going to her rooms. He didn't bother to follow, all though he felt he needed to.

Seda walked into her rooms and looked around. She stared at nothing and then began to cry. As she cried she ran into the bedroom and dove into her wardrobe chest and pulled out her luggage bags. She threw them on the bed and then ran around to the table by the fireplace. She snatched up the books and various things lying there and carried them over to the bed and dropped them. She picked each one up individually and threw them into the open bags, not caring at all as she continued to sob. With each throw they became more forceful and her arm began to tense up. She didn't care. She ran through out the rooms collecting her things and returned to throw them into her bags. Aura stared at her, wondering why she was upset.

When she picked up the books Severus had given her she paused. She wiped her tears on her sleeve and sniffed. She bit her lips and then took the books and threw them across the room, where they hit the wall and fell to the floor with a thud. She couldn't stand it anymore. She let out a scream of anger and frustration and the pain in her chest was becoming worse then she sank onto the floor in a ball. She curled onto her elbows and knees and buried her face in her hands. She was tired of this and she wanted out. Then came a knock at her door. She ignored it. It came again and she still ignored it. She knew it was Snape and she definitely did not want to see him. Then she heard a voice but it was not from outside.

"Seda?" It was a soft and misty voice. She looked up and to her surprise Dumbledore was standing just feet from her. "Headmaster?" She said shaking, looking up from her hands. She stood up as quickly as she could and wiped the tears from her face. "What… how did you… do you need something sir?" She asked perplexed. He simply looked at her over his half moons. "I thought we could have a chat, if you are not busy." His eyes twinkled at her. She couldn't say anything. She just stared and sniffed. She knew her face was red so she dropped her head to her chest.

"Come sit over here Seda." She looked up and he was pointing at the chair by the fireplace. She walked over to it and sat down and then he sat in the chair across from her. "Would you care for hot tea?" As he said this a pot and two cups swirled down onto the coffee table. "Ok" She said confused. He handed her a cup and then he sat back in the chair and folded his hands on his lap. She stared at him again. "Have I caught you at a bad time? Only it looks as though you are preparing to go somewhere." He said softly.

He knows she thought and his mouth formed into a small smile. She finished her sip of tea then she said, "I was… I… need to leave Professor." She waited for him to say something but he continued to look at her with twinkling eyes. She took another sip to waste time and then she said quietly, "I don't think… I can stay here any longer." She took another sip and then set it on the table. Dumbledore nodded and said, "Would you mind telling me why you feel you need to leave?" His voice was calm and gentle.

How was she supposed to explain her self? She couldn't just tell him she wanted to leave because she was fed up with the games Snape was playing and she couldn't say it was just because of the dreams. What was she to say? Now she thought about it, she didn't have any good reasons to leave, she was just tired of feeling the way she does. "Professor I… I'm not happy here." That was a lie but that was all she could come up with. She felt horribly guilty at lying to him but she couldn't confess how she really felt. He nodded again. "I see. Tell me, why are you so unhappy?" His eyes were lighting up and she couldn't help but stare at them.

Now what was she supposed to say? She couldn't tell him what was going on between her and Snape; they would both be in so much trouble if anyone found out. She didn't want Snape fired but she was so angry with him she didn't really care now. "I… can't say." She looked away from him. He nodded again and she wondered why he was so calm. "I understand. Well, I'm afraid to tell you but I can not let you leave." She looked back at him confused. "But… why?" She asked worried. Why couldn't she leave? Why did she have to stay here if she didn't want to?

"Unfortunately you must finish up the term before you can leave, it is a policy." Her jaw dropped slightly. "Besides, you shouldn't run away when emotions run high. You'll find that parting on bad terms is never the answer. You must work through your problems… together or nothing can ever settle as it should be." He said this and his eyes lit up again. What did he mean? "What do you mean professor? As what should be?" She was completely lost. He never made sense and it puzzled her constantly.

He stood up and her eyes followed him. "You'll find out in time child. Some things can only be realized after we suffer through life's adventures." He looked back at her with a smile and added, "I should be going now anyway. I don't want to interrupt your visitor." He walked to the front door and she followed. "Good night Seda." He winked and he left. She stood staring at the door, wondering what on earth he was talking about. She lost her self in thoughts for several minutes and she was only brought back to earth when a knock came at her door, again. She snapped out of her phase and walked to the door. Not even thinking about whom it could be she pulled it open. She was stunned when she looked into the face of the visitor standing tall before her.


	35. One Feeling Creates a Thousand Words

For all my readers out there… this is for you! I know you've been waiting. Toodles!

Just to warn you, this chapter is rated R! No further explanation is needed I think, so if you are not allowed, or capable of reading such scenes then I would stop when it gets there. This is to warn you so don't come yelling at me if you read it and you found it offensive. Ok enjoy!

* * *

Seda looked at him, wondering why he decided to come here and what made him think she wanted to see him? She stood in the doorway and crossed her arms. "Yes? Can I help you with something?" She said sarcastically and annoyed. She really didn't want to see him right now. He looked at her with lowered eyebrows. "What were you and Dumbledore talking about? I saw him leaving your rooms." He sounded slightly concerned. His eyes were searching hers for an answer.

She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at him. "What does it matter to you? Why are you here anyway?" She said, beginning to tap her foot. He glanced down at her foot then looked back up into her eyes. "I thought you were leaving Miss Wood?" He also crossed his arms. She watched him fold his arms then she looked back at him and sighed. "Well, I was packing but then I was distracted. I had a visitor you see." She sniffed.

"I see. So when are you leaving?" His voice was rather calm and slightly more cheery then usual. She pouted her lips at him and scrunched her nose. "What, do you want me to leave or something?" She shifted her weight to the other leg and then pushed a strand of hair off her face. "Well, sorry to disappoint you but I'm not leaving. It seems that I can't, so I guess I'm stuck here." She said and looked up at the ceiling as she chewed on her bottom lip. She took a deep breath and let out a long exhale.

"You don't really want to leave, you know you don't." He said, watching her become irritated with him, which he rather enjoyed. She rolled her eyes. "Yeah well… I have to unpack now so I should be going." She dropped her gaze back onto him and blinked. "So…did you need something? Why are you here exactly?" Her voice was still a tone of annoyance but she was still curious as to why he came up here.

She was tapping her foot again and he noticed. "Stop." He said. She looked at him strangely. "Stop what?" She asked. "Your foot." He said impatiently. "My foot?" She said puzzled. "Yes your foot. Stop tapping it." He said pointing at it. She looked down and realized she was. "Why?" She asked looking back up at him. "Because." He said irritated. "Because why?" She asked annoyed. "It bothers me." He said honestly. "Well, I am soooooo sorry that it bothers you, but I like it." She said, and being the smart ass she was she continued to do it and she raised her eyebrows to show him she could do what she pleases. "Don't be childish." He said annoyed. "I'm not being childish. I'm being me and if you don't like it then you can leave." She said determined to make him stop picking on her. He narrowed his eyes at her and gave her that glare, but he didn't move.

He started to tap his fingers against his arms and he stared her down. She gave him an annoyed look and she knew he was doing it on purpose. She stopped tapping her foot and then he slowly stopped drumming his fingers. They stared at each other. She sighed again. "Are we just going to stand here like this all night?" She asked him honestly. A mischievous look came over him and she almost laughed at his sudden change. She stopped her self of course by coughing but she had to turn away and bite her lips to stop smiling. "Is something funny?" He asked amused. "No." She said looking back at him with as straight a face as possible. But when he raised an eyebrow at her she couldn't help but let out a small laugh. She clasped her hands over her mouth to hide it but he had already noticed. "Are you sure there is nothing funny? You seem to find something amusing." He said as he leaned against her doorframe. She realized this looked rather awkward. She was standing with her door wide open talking to the Potions Master who was leaning up against her door and she was laughing. It made her stop laughing at one but she couldn't help but smile.

"What is it now?" He said impatiently. "It's just… this looks rather strange… with you leaning against my door casually and me laughing, that's all." She bit her lip. He nodded and stood straight. "So, are you ever going to answer me about why you came up here or are you just going to leave me hanging?" She said, very interested in what he would say. She leaned against her door this time and he found that very ironic. "Well?" She said.

"I suppose that I wanted to see when you were leaving." He said as he too leaned against her door again. She raised her eyebrows considerably. "Is that so? Yes well, obviously you know I'm not now so I really need to finish unpacking." She said as an excuse to leave. She really didn't pack anything in the first place. She just threw books and things into bags because she was so upset. The vision of her throwing those books he gave her across the room made her realize she was very upset because she enjoyed them very much, too much to leave them behind. That burning in her chest was swelling up again. Actually it was getting stronger, she could almost feel the throbbing now. It was…

She gasped and almost crumbled to the floor. She pressed her hands firmly on her chest, trying to make the pain go away. She closed her eyes because everything was spinning and she began to feel dizzy. She felt her self topple over onto the floor but she squeezed her eyes shut so she didn't have to see what horror was killing her. She heard someone talking, a door close and then nothing.

* * *

She stood on the shore waiting for something or someone, not really knowing what to expect. The wind howled across her skin, blowing her hair in her face and whipping it around like string. The fog was clearing on the lake an she could hear the faint calls of a voice, passing with the breeze, as distant as the stars. Something was pulling her towards the lake and she knew she needed to get there, to what ever it was. The cloudiness cleared and floating in the middle was a dark figure, calm and gentle. She stepped onto the water and it was as hard as ice but as smooth as glass. She glided across it, almost dancing gracefully to the hooded figure. It called her name ever so softly and she saw that it extended a hand. She reached for it and it pulled her to it. She looked up at its face, but it was blurry. She couldn't see who it was. It spoke to her about pleasing things and she wanted so much to stay with it forever. It was asking her to come away but something was keeping her from answering. It was as though she couldn't speak. It became frustrated with her and asked her more forcefully. She was upset that she couldn't answer and she tried with all her might to speak. The surface beneath her feet gave away and she fell into the icy cold water. It hit her like thousands of pounds of pressure on her chest and she couldn't breath. She saw the hole of light from where she fell and she tried to swim up to it. She saw the figure staring down at her reaching out a hand and she tried, she tried so hard to get there but it was fading as fast as she could swim. The hole was closing up and the beam of light became smaller and smaller until eventually it was gone. She screamed out for help but there was no one to hear her, or to help her. The coldness was taking over her body and she began to lose hope. She let the darkness take over and soon she was fading. She was fading into the black oblivion waiting for the end to come. She felt her lungs explode and she was left to die in the deepest holes of despair, but it felt like forever and then she felt no more.

* * *

She opened her eyes and found that everything was blurry and hazy. The throbbing in her chest was dulling away but she could still feel the stinging of it. She looked around her and recognized nothing. She had no idea where she was but she didn't care because she felt so sick. She could feel the chills running over her body and she sensed she was shaking violently. She tried to curl into a ball but it hurt to move. Every muscle was tense and pulling. She tried her best to roll over but when she did she felt the uneasiness in her stomach. She wrapped her arms around her waist, trying to push the sickness away.

"Miss Wood?" She heard a voice calling her though she didn't know whom. Can you hear me?" It said again, but she still couldn't answer. She felt a warm sensation come around her head and when she blinked the room was coming into focus. It looked very familiar, too familiar. She shifted her head and found a face looming over her. It was Severus. "Are you all right now Miss Wood?" He said with a look of concern on his face. He was a bit paler she noticed. The uncertainty in her stomach was settling and she tried to sit up but she felt his hand on her shoulder push her back down. She lie on her back staring up into his face, he was still somewhat blurry. "Miss Wood? Are you all right?" He said a tad more urgent.

She felt his breath on her skin and it sent more chills down her body. She swallowed slowly and she could taste the acidity lingering in her throat, coming from a need to vomit. Her head was buzzing and she felt very slow and dysfunctional. She blinked several times as she stared at him; trying to make her self become less dizzy. She took a deep breath and steadied her self. It hurt to breath. "Professor?" She said softly. "Why… what happened?" She noticed she was sprawled on the floor of her sitting room.

"Apparently you had another attack and you passed out. How are you feeling?" He asked slowly. It took her awhile to take in everything he said and understand it. Her brain was acting funny. "I-I had… a dream. The same… one." She said still softly. "I know. You were screaming until I gave you a potion." He said, his voice a little edgy. "What?" She said trying to sit up but he pushed her down again. "You were screaming for help. Was that part of your dream?" He asked looking concerned. She paused for a moment then she nodded. "I thought so." He said more to him self. "I'll need to write this down in the journal." She stared at him. "I think you should go to bed now, you need rest." He looked at her looking at him. Her eyes were gray he noticed, or either a very pale blue. Almost lifeless he thought.

She tried to sit up and this time he didn't push her down but he helped her to her feet. She swayed unsteadily and stumbled. He caught her around the waist and held her steady. "I don't think I can walk." She said weakly as her legs shook beneath her. She felt her knees give away and she was nearly as limp as a rag doll. He walked her into the bedroom, practically holding her up the entire way. He noticed the bags sitting on her bed and he glanced at her questioningly. She really was going to leave he thought. She held onto the edge of the bed and pushed the bags over the side, where they fell onto the ground and some of the contents spilled out. He watched her as she stood there, staring at the bed.

"What's wrong?" He asked her, noticing she looked uncomfortable. She was breathing heavily as she grasped the bed as if it were her lifeline. "I… I don't want to… be by myself." She said extremely quiet, in the smallest voice she had. "Why?" He asked her, all though he assumed why that was. "I'm… I'm…" She couldn't finish, it sounded silly. "Scared?" He said gently. She dropped her head to her chest. "Yes." She said in a whisper. He found that when she said that he couldn't help but almost smile on the inside.

He knew what she wanted to ask and he wanted to hear it but he didn't know how to answer it. He saw her glance at him out of the corner of her eye and he began to feel weak, which was very unusual.

"Can you not sleep?" He asked, knowing this wasn't what he meant. "No, but…" She bit her lip. Something in his chest was pounding in his throat. "Can you… will you…?" He wished she would just say it already. "If you want me to." He said before he could stop him self. What was he doing he yelled at him self.

She turned her head slightly towards him. "Yes." She whispered to him. She swallowed and it felt like a huge lump was blocking the airway. They looked at each other for several moments before she faced him completely. "You… don't have to." She said, but hoping he would. "It's fine." He said, finding it hard to form words. She could sense something about him that was different but she didn't know what it was. "Thanks." She said, and she meant it. She tried to smile but she was just too weak. "I'll sit over here then." He said and he walked over to the fireplace in front of her bed and sat down in a chair. She watched him sit down and then he lit a fire with his wand and it burned magnificently, adding warmth and a mystical glow to the room.

She took a deep breath and then looked around to the wardrobe that was half open. She didn't feel like walking over there to grab pajamas so she decided not to risk it. Instead she glanced at him and knowing he was looking forward she went ahead and unzipped her jeans. She pulled them off and kicked them to the side. She then pulled the over shirt up over her head and pulled it off.

He sat there trying to stare into the grate but the movement behind him distracted him. Long shadows were cast on the wall and he could see that she was undressing. His eyes widened slightly. He watched interested as she pulled the shirt up over her head and took it off. As she stretched he could see the delicious curves of her body, cast upon the dark shadows of the wall. Even as a shadow she still looked stunning he thought.

She climbed up onto the bed and pulled the covers down. She slid in between them and then sank into the wonderful softness of the mattress and she delved into the warmth and comfort of the blankets and pillow. Within a minute she was fast asleep, feeling safer that he was there. Luckily she didn't have any strange dreams and she was almost peaceful.

Within minutes he heard the deep, slow breathing coming from the bed and he knew she was a sleep. It was hard not to turn and watch her but he used all his might not to. He made himself stare straight ahead, not daring to look behind him. He rested his head on his hand and watched the flickering flames dance in the grate. They were dancing so fiercely and wild that his eye got lost amongst the movement but it was becoming very hypnotizing. Soon he felt himself become increasingly drowsy but he forced him self to stay awake. If she should happen to have another dream he needed to be alert and ready. He didn't know why exactly, but he felt very guilty that she lied there so miserably.

* * *

She was having strange visions as she slept. Some were whimsical but others were eerie and creepy. She woke up breathing fast, feeling as if she had just dropped a hundred feet. She didn't know how long she was asleep for but it felt like no time at all. She raised her head slightly to see if he was still there and she was relieved to se that he was. He had his head resting on his hand, though she didn't know if he was still awake. She still didn't feel right about something. She sat up slowly in her bed and stared at the back of his head, wishing she could see his face. Something in her body was taking over her head because she had the greatest anxiety to be closer to him. She debated with her self for several minutes but finally she agreed to go with the feeling in her stomach or her heart, wherever it was coming from.

She slipped out of the bed as quietly as she could and she at once felt the absence of the warm covers. It was chilly but the remains of the fire were still warm and inviting. She walked very slowly, almost floating towards the back of his chair. It was much warmer over here she felt. She paused, trying not to breath loudly and then she continued to the said of his chair, then gradually she peeked around to the front. It was much warmer now, near the fire. It wasn't as strong as it was before but it was still hearty and lively. She glanced down at him and his eyes were closed. This was a first she thought to her self. Never before had she seen him sleep. It was rather… enjoyable in a peaceful way she thought. She tilted her head to one side and studied him. He looked so worn and tired at being so restful but he was still rather young she knew. He still had that young face but it was aged with stress and burdens.

Normally she would look into his eyes and nothing else but since they were closed she couldn't help but travel down to his mouth. The delicate outline of his lips was inviting and she couldn't resist the taste of them. She found she was licking her own softly. His hair was also falling onto his face, framing it so wonderfully that it looked to perfect to be true. She found that she was moving in closer to him and she didn't even know she had started to. Something was drawing her into him and she couldn't push it away. Within moments she was barely a few inches from him and a few heart flutters more she gently brushed his lips with her own. His scent was driving her into ecstasy.

The slight feeling startled him on his lips and he opened his eyes to find a girl tasting him, so feather soft and her eyes were closed. He knew this taste and he was beginning to think he might need more of it. Without even thinking he latched on and claimed more of them while he could. This must have shocked her because she opened her eyes and stared at him, wondering what was happening. This certainly was a unique and rare way to be brought out of sleep but he enjoyed it very much.

She was uncertain for a moment whether this was the right thing to do but when she felt his hand snake up her arm she knew there was no turning back. She closed her eyes and let her mind erase any thoughts. All she knew were her senses and they needed to be fulfilled. Her hand was wrapping around his arm and she felt her self being pulled forward so she gave in.

He moved one hand along her arm and the other he wrapped around to her lower back and pulled her forward. She soon was resting on his lap and he felt her hands grab his neck ever so gently and she then leaned into him, pressing against him as much as she could. He moved his hands up her back which he felt made her shiver but he then delicately tangled his fingers into her hair and massaged the back of her head. He heard her moan into his mouth and he wanted more of that. His mouth traveled away from her sweet lips and moved down to her jaw line and then slowly to her neck. He devoured her milky skin and used his teeth slightly to get more of her, causing her to moan again. She let her head fall to one side to allow him to be closer to her neck as she grabbed his robes to keep her self from floating away.

The burning inside her was getting stronger and she could hardly stand it anymore. She needed to be closer, to be touched and to be somewhere other then here. She glanced over at her bed and realized what she was about to do. She didn't care anymore. This feeling was so right, if it was wrong she would know it, and she cared about him enough to give her self over. How did she get him there though? She knew he would probably follow in the passion of this moment but would he go through with it? She assumed yes and that was all she could hope for. What did she call him? Professor sounded to formal right now and Snape was definitely not right for this moment.

"Severus." She said breathlessly and it sounded completely natural and so right. He obviously didn't mind because he moaned slightly into her neck. "Severus." She said again, almost hissing and he looked at her finally. She lowered her head to see his eyes and then she glanced towards her bed and he understood. She stood gracefully and pulled him by the hand off the chair and led him over to the bed. She looked up at him and she saw the concern on his face but before he could change either of their minds she extended her hands and pulled his face down to kiss his thoughts away. He responded by kissing her back more passionately then before.

She took his hands and placed them on her waist where she began to pull the bottom of the camisole she was wearing up over her stomach. He followed her lead and took over the rest of it. He pulled it up over her head, along her arms and then he threw it to the ground, though never breaking his lips away from hers. This left her hands free to push his cloak off his shoulders and then move intricately down the buttons of his dressing coat. When she found the last button he slipped it off his shoulders and was left with his white dress shirt. She grabbed the white material at the top of his pants and pulled it over his chest where he quickly unfastened the collar and she pulled it off his body. She ran her hands down his bare, smooth chest and kissed his lips feverishly.

He nudged his face against hers and they were moving backwards, towards the bed. He held her carefully behind the neck and lower back, just like a baby, and lowered her smoothly and slowly onto the bed. When she sunk into the softness of the mattress again she pulled him on top of her. She placed her hands, shaking slightly, on his shoulders as he went in for another kiss. He ran his hands along the skin of her bare torso and rested them gently just under her breasts. He then delicately moved each finger along her chest and gradually caressed them, but so gently. He moved his thumbs over her hardening nipples and rubbed them until they were as hard but yet as smooth as possible. She moaned again into his ear and it sent his head into frenzy. He loved when he could hear her make those sounds.

She could feel her self becoming more wet by the second and something was making her tingle. They scooted back farther onto the bed until they were laying in the middle of it and she suddenly opened her legs to urge him closer. He noticed what she did and all his thoughts were completely lost. He sucked on her neck just below her ear and this sent her into waves of pleasure. She ran her hands down his back and then around his waist until she found the top of his pants. She waited for him to do something but he pressed harder onto her breasts so she continued on her own. She found the buttons after some blind searching, even if she tried to crook her neck she couldn't see, then unzipped them and tugged them down. Somehow she managed to sit up so she could pull them off and he slithered out of them, just like before. All that was left was both their underpants and she knew those were definitely going to come off, but when she wondered.

He seemed to nearly read her mind because he pushed her back gently and said, "Allow me to finish." And she couldn't argue with him. Her heart was fluttering like mad now and she thought desperately about what he was about to do. She had an idea but still she was curious. He kissed her lips one more time then let his mouth travel downwards passing her neck, over her chest, across her stomach and all the while he rested his hands gently on her thighs. She couldn't stand it any longer so she tried to hold his arms. He looked up at her and blinked. He took her hands and raised them above her head and left them to rest there. She was dying. He brought his hands back to her waist and weaved his fingers around the tops of her underpants and then began to pull them down, slowly and smoothly. She gasped as she became exposed but she had to bite her lips to keep her from fainting. He dragged them along her thighs, her knees and slowly around her feet and then they fell to the floor and were gone.

She was completely naked now and only he remained with one article of clothing left. She looked down at him and gave him an expression that told him he was being very unfair but he looked at her in the eyes and said, "Later." She dropped her head back onto the bed and let him do what ever he wanted; he had complete control over now. She felt his hands run along the inside of her thighs and she moved them apart slowly to allow him to be closer. He brushed his fingers along the delicate skin that covered her inside and teased her for as long as she could stand it. She was becoming very flustered. Then she felt the warmth of his breath just over it and she sucked in all the air she could. When she felt one of his fingers move along the insides of the skin she thought she would faint for sure, but she couldn't.

He found her button and rubbed it, which made her moan louder then ever. He smiled wickedly to him self. He then moved another finger onto it and pressed a little harder. He could feel the wetness of her and then he couldn't think straight. He massaged her gently in little circles until he knew she was floating somewhere far away from here. She continued to moan and he knew what would bring her back. He took his other hand and pushed her knees up so they were bent and then he pulled them apart. He moved forward slightly and with his free hand he took her hands and pulled them to her sides. When he placed each one firmly on the bed he put a hand over each one and held them there so she couldn't move. He looked up at her once more before he decided to attack, just making sure she knew what was coming. She looked down at him and her eyes closed just at the thought of what he was about to do.

He took this as an ok and he lowered his head to her most sacred area. She at once let out a shriek of pleasure and tried to move her hands but he pressed on top of them firmly so she couldn't. He let his tongue move from her button, collecting her sweetness and then down to the softest part of her flesh. He let his tongue slip inside and she let out more of a scream this time, but so softly it was as though she couldn't find her throat. He moved it in deeper and explored as much as he possibly could. He felt her hands grab the blankets beneath her fingers and he knew she was going to come any moment. He held her hands tightly, letting her know he was there and then he delved inside her again and moved around in small strokes until she screamed. She squeezed his hands tightly, using something to keep her grounded. He felt her contracting around his tongue so he slipped it out and moved it gently around the outside. When he sucked the last part of her sweets he blew on her lightly and she continued to hold onto his hands.

She was panting and breathing very fast. He raised his head and while still holding her hands he kissed her stomach and moved his way slowly up to her neck again and then over her eyes and finally he kissed her forehead feather soft. "Severus." She hissed at him. "Yes?" He answered. "I-I… we need to… now… please Severus." She said as she opened her eyes to look at him. Her eyes were not gray anymore but the most amazing color of aqua-blue he had ever seen. It was as deep as the color of the ocean and as crystal clear as the stars shining above them. He was lost in them. "Severus please" She moaned to him again. He was trying to find his way out of her eyes when he began to feel weak, too weak.

She freed her hands and ran them up his arms until they wrapped around on his neck. She pulled him into her and kissed his chest then moving up to his neck where she sucked on his skin a little bit more passionately. She could still smell him and it was a wonderful scent. Exactly the same as before and she felt so secure at that moment. Somehow with her small body she wedged one of her knees in between his legs and managed to push him over so that she could roll on top of him. She sat on top of him, her legs on either side of his body and clung to him like he was going to fly away but she knew he wouldn't. His hands were tangled in her hair and he felt so carefree.

As she nibbled on his neck he moaned softly into her ear and she smiled. She couldn't help but do flips with in her self as she heard him moan pleasurably into her ear. It was almost a low growl and it drove her wild. She wanted to do something wonderfully wicked to him but she wondered if he would let her. She thought he probably wouldn't protest once she started but getting there was going to be the adventure. She moved her head back to the side and rubbed her cheek against his smooth jaw line. She feathered kisses along it and she stopped and looked at him. She spoke to him with her mind and when he saw the look of a ferocious feline in them he knew what she was asking. He closed his eyes for a short moment and when he looked back at her his eyes were more alight then ever. He clasped her face in his hands and spoke to her softly.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to." He said seriously. "I want to." She said in a whisper and then smiled at him devilishly. Before he could say anything she was already moving down on him. She found her position and she looked up at him again, teasing him she said, "Don't move" As she stroked a finger along his length. After all the years he had been a Death Eater he learned how to discipline him self very well. He never flinched nor showed signs of defeat or emotion as he watched the most horrible things or was asked to do them. He could look easily into the slits of his dark master and feel nothing as he was commanded to tasks he had seen in his nightmares. Those things were easy to block out after time but this was positively torture. He had a hard time restraining himself from snatching her up and taking her right there, that very second.

That next moment he didn't know what hit him but everything he had sensed before was being erased from his mind. He couldn't help but release a growl of pleasure as he felt her mouth around him, taking him in deeper. All the feelings in his body were swimming around in his chest, fighting their way to get out. She was becoming more aggressive and he could hardly stand it. He pressed his hands onto the bed but it wasn't working so he moved them delicately into her hair, that was better he thought. He felt him self swelling up, needing to be released, and she took him in further, not daring to stop. Her tongue was so light and warm but she used her teeth to bite him slightly in just the right place. He was going to lose his mind if she didn't stop. He moaned again and felt it coming.

As if on cue she stopped dead in the middle of his pleasure and he had to breath heavily to bring himself back down to earth. She was crawling back up his body until her eyes were glowing just over his. The look in them was more obvious then ever and he knew what to do next. He ran his hands down her skin and hugged her hips with his arms, pulling her closer. She was thrown off balance so she collapsed on his chest so their faces were touching. They breathed heavily into the others mouth, knowing what was coming and they both waited for the sign to take the next level up. Her heart was beating so hard she couldn't breath and to assure her self she was alive she nudged her nose with his and took in his scent again. She was definitely alive she told her self and before she could think of anything else he had rolled them over so she was on her back and he was leaning over her. His breathing was also increasing in speed and she shivered. She was nervous now and she felt chills run down her body.

He could feel her shaking beneath him and he lowered his eyebrows softly at her, studying the expression on her face. "Are you cold?" He asked her in his silkiest voice. "Y-yesss." She answered him. She wasn't sure if she was just cold because it was rather warm actually. Her teeth were beginning to chatter slightly now. What was wrong with her she yelled at her self? As she thought silently to herself he rolled away from her and stood up out of the bed. She raised herself on her elbows wondering what he was doing. All he did was pull back the covers on the bed and then he took her hand and pulled her up completely so that she was kneeling in front of him. They each placed their hands on the others upper arms and looked at one another. Her heart was fluttering then she blinked and looked down at his chest, right where her eyes fell naturally. She took a deep breath and waited for him to do or say something.

"You are sure you are ready?" He asked softly as his lips touched her forehead. She squeezed his arms tightly and closed her eyes, and then she nodded. She lifted her hands to his neck and she began to sit back, underneath the covers. She pulled him down and he followed until he was lying on top of her. He grabbed the edge of the comforter and threw it up so it covered them to their shoulders. As her head hit the pillow her hair fanned wildly, soft curls and waves framing her neck and shoulders. They stared a t each other for several minutes, taking the other in and breathing deeply. Finally he bent down and kissed her lips softly, taking his time until she ready. She kissed him back several times and with the last one she grabbed his lower lip with her teeth and let go of it slowly.

"Severus…" She said quietly as she felt his hardness pressing against her thigh. He looked down at her. "I… want you to… say my name." She looked so innocent just then he could barely believe she was actually there. "Miss Wood…" He said sarcastically. She closed her eyes briefly and looked at him again, smiling. "No. My first name Severus." She said. He noticed he liked very much how she said his name. It was almost a purr. He lowered his head so that his mouth was next to her ear. "Seda…" he whispered. "What's your middle name?" He asked her quietly again in a whisper. She smiled again and said, "Lillian." He looked back at her and traced the shape of her face from her forehead to her chin with one finger while saying, "Seda Lillian… I like it." His voice was gentler then she had ever heard it but his face was so serious. "Severus…" She began but he pressed his fingers to her lips and laid a soft kiss on her cheek. She closed her eyes.

She felt him adjust so that he was just ready to enter inside her and then he paused. "Seda… I want you to look at me." She opened her eyes and before she could even take a breath he entered her and the air she was breathing stopped in her throat. It felt like her heart stopped but she knew she was still alive somehow. She exhaled and a small moan escaped her lips. He moved inside her very slow at first, making sure that she was ok. She closed her eyes tightly for a second then she looked back at him and watched as he found her soul in her eyes again. She did the same. Looking deep into the dark depths of his eyes she found something there she had never seen before. It was like a fire burning in his eyes and the more she stared at them the safer she felt being with him. His eyes were like galaxies, an eternal space, and from that moment she felt more bound to him then ever before. He looked deeply into her eyes and found that there was also something there he had been overlooking. He didn't know what it was but whatever it was he needed it.

So he began to move in her slightly faster, pushing a little deeper then the last. She was molding around him so perfectly he thought she must have been the only one who could feel this way. She moved her hands down his arms as she let out a moan and moved them over her head, resting on the pillow. He hit a certain spot with in her and she shut her eyes again at the painful pleasure it was causing. She could feel herself becoming hot and the more he pumped inside her the more she needed. He began to move faster and soon her hips were pushing into his, trying to feel more of him. As he drove in deeper she caught her breath in her mouth and gasped. She bit her lip and looked up at him, at the same time grabbing the pillowcase as hard as she could, trying to hold on to something. He noticed that she was nearing her limit and he took his hands from her side and slid them up over chest and onto her hands, holding them firmly. He dipped his head down and caught her lips and began to pump into her as hard as he could. He felt her chest heaving and her breath coming in gasps and he held onto her hands still as much as he could.

She clung to his lips as much as she could breathe and as she felt her self come ever closer to explosion she entwined her fingers with his and locked them tightly. He pumped into her more each time then the last and kissed her more roughly as he too felt him self come closer to his limit. He shifted ever so slightly and at that moment she felt her insides contract violently around him and she let out a scream of pleasure into his mouth, which he absorbed with his luscious lips. Seconds later he felt her muscles milking him for everything he had and he panted into her mouth, trying to find something to steady him. She wrapped her small fingers around his tightly as she breathed in short intakes, finding her way back from the stars.

They looked into the others eyes for a long time while he stayed inside her until he finally rolled off and slipped out. She rolled onto her side to face him and they were now face-to-face, chest-to-chest and she looked at him more deeply. "Severus…" She said more breathlessly then he had ever heard. Their hands were still locked up in the others but they had moved them so they were resting between their thumping chests.

"What… what's happening between us?" She said looking directly into his heart. He breathed several times before he answered. "I can't say for certain but…" He paused and his eyes shifted from her amazingly blue eyes to the chain resting around her neck. He took a finger and traced the chain. "What are these?" He said looking at the cross and the tiny ring. She glanced down at them and then she rested her head onto the pillow and closed her eyes. "The cross is from my baptism as a baby, my parents gave me that. The ring… well I was told that when I was taken from my birth mother I was without it, but when they cleaned me up they found it on my finger. I guess after that day is when she disappeared. My parents just sent this to me when I came to school here. I don't know what it is about it, but it means something special, even though I never met her."

She sighed and he looked up into her resting face. He didn't know what to say was going on between them because he honestly didn't. He cared for her very much, which was something he feared because he couldn't risk falling in love with someone as special as her. If he let her in too far he would cause her pain she didn't deserve and that was the last thing he wanted for her. He decided he would leave it as it was for now, until they both could understand what was happening. He had no doubt she was falling in love with him, but if she was he didn't know. He knew she also cared about him deeply or she would have never been as amazing as she was just now. He would of course be speechless if she said it or even if she was but he tried not to think about it. All he wanted was to lay here with her, forever if he could, but these moments would end and they would move on. He feared the day that he would fall in love with her because he couldn't bring himself to turn her away but at the same time he just couldn't allow himself to feel that strongly about her. He leaned over and kissed her cheek then watched her.

"Severus?" She asked quietly as she opened her eyes half way. How was she going to say this? "Hmm?" He replied. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. "It's best not to speak if you can't find the words. Sometimes the wrong ones may come out." He said gently and she nodded. "I know but… I need to ask you something but I don't know how to say it exactly." She said and she licked her lips. He was almost afraid of what she wanted to ask but he wanted to hear whatever it was. He kissed her again on the lips and as he looked back at her he said, "It will probably be best if you just say it, for both our sakes." She took a deep breath and prepared her self to say it. "Do you think… that… this sounds so stupid…"? She moaned to him. "Go on." He encouraged her. "Ok" She breathed. "Do you think we're falling in love?" She finally finished and it was basically what he was expecting.

She waited for a long moment for him to answer and then he ran his fingers through her hair. "I don't know yet. That's all I can say." Something felt awkward as he said this, as if it wasn't right. He ignored it and continued to comb her hair. She blinked and then she looked down, a slight frown on her face. "I understand." She said. And to ease the moment she draped her arm around his upper body and pulled her self closer to him, so that her breasts were pressed firmly against him. "You should sleep now." He said softly and he moved his hand away from her head. "I want you to stay with me." She said firmly but sleepily. At that she found his hand and pulled it down so that it fell across her body, like an embrace. He didn't need her to give him any more hints because he pulled her even closer and rested his chin on her head. With his free arm he pulled the comforter up around their shoulders and placed his hand on her face. He caressed her so gently that it gave his fingers the slightest sensation of being touched. He stared down at her as she fell asleep and before he closed his eyes to rest he whispered, "I know not how to love." And at that he shut his eyes and steadied his heartbeats so they were in rhythm to hers… they slept.

**_I warned you. Thanks for reading! See you next time, Toodles!_**


	36. Roller Coaster

Let me just get right into this chapter. I know you all are eager anyway so let's skip the blah blah blah and get right to it. Hope you enjoyed that last chapter. Toodles!

* * *

The golden rays of morning were spilling into the room, flooding the bed with warmth and luminous beams of light. She knew it was nearly five-thirty because the sun was still rising, casting longer shadows along the walls as it found its way up into the sky. The distant sounds of birds were singing their morning songs, but it was so faintly soft that it felt like a very old music box. She took in a long deep breath that announced the escape of deep sleep and the scent she inhaled was more inviting then she'd asked for.

She blinked her eyes slowly and found to her surprise that he was still there, holding her in his arms. She wished that they could stay this way, stopping time forever and deciding when they could run it again, but she knew they both had classes to attend or teach. She had never seen him look as calm and stress free as she did now and the feeling in her heart was indescribable. What happened last night was completely spontaneous but it felt like it was meant to happen but had been delayed for ages. She didn't know how exactly it happened, well actually she did, but she didn't know why neither of them stopped. They had been very close to having sex before but they stopped just before it went too far. She remembered she wasn't ready then, but last night she felt prepared enough to take on the world and all its troubles. Her feelings towards him had of course expanded to a new level and she knew she probably felt secure enough to share that with him. They had just shared so much last night without using words that she didn't know how else she could communicate with him now. Everything was perfect accept…

She didn't know if she was in love. Neither of them did, he had said so last night. She believed him because she felt the same way. There is such a fine distinction between caring for someone deeply and actually loving them that it seems impossible to tell, but she supposed she would probably know if she really and truly loved him, wouldn't she? She couldn't answer her self so she decided not to force it. Why then did she give her soul over to him? She still couldn't answer her self. Because you love him a voice yelled in her head. She answered back; I don't know that yet. We only care about each other right now, nothing more. The voice in her head didn't say anything else so she left it at that.

She watched him sleep for another few moments and noticed the sound and feeling of his heartbeat was incredible then she slowly weaved her way out of his arms and crawled out of bed. She watched him as she walked carefully to the bathroom, making sure she didn't wake him and then she slipped into the bathroom, leaving the door open half way. She turned on the taps in the shower to warm and let it run. She walked over to the counter to pick up her brush and she realized she had packed it last night. She walked out of the room and into the bedroom and in front of her was the books she had thrown, laying on the floor. She picked them up and set them on the desk then continued to her bags until she found her brush. After she brushed out her hair she stepped into the shower. She had at least an hour and a half before she could go down to breakfast so she was going to enjoy a nice, long relaxing shower.

She enclosed her self into the tropical paradise and the sweet fragrances of exotic flowers and fruits came rushing to her and revived her from her sleepiness. She felt awake and alert but still so relaxed. She stood under the small waterfall in the middle of the small lagoon and let the water beat down upon her and wash her worries away. She looked up into the sky and watched the birds fly overhead and the small spider monkeys jump from branch to branch. No matter how many times she had been in this shower it always took her breath away and made her feel as if she were thousands of miles away on an undiscovered island. She let the waterfall down on her for at least five minutes until she thought she should wash her hair. She began to reach for the shampoo when a feeling coming around her waist startled her.

She turned around at once and was looking into the face of the same man she had just left to sleep ten minutes ago. She sighed in relief that it was nothing else as he pulled her to him. "This is quite a remarkable shower. Mine is only marble, nothing as complicated as this." He said while placing a kiss on her lips softly. "Yes, well I find it incredible too. I thought you were sleeping." She said looking up at him amused. "I was but my internal alarm went off and I decided to see where you ran off to. I have to admit, this is an exquisite hiding place. It almost feels real." He said looking down into her eyes; they were dark blue again.

"Isn't it?" She asked furrowing her eyebrows. "It's only a charm, but a rather good one." He answered and placed another kiss on her lips. When she pulled away she said, "Oh." She sounded a little disappointed but went on anyway. "Can you stay for awhile? It's only five thirty, we have at least an hour and a half before breakfast you know." A playful smile spread across her lips. He tilted his head to the side and studied her, raising an eyebrow. "What exactly did you have in mind?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist a little tighter, pulling her closer. She licked her lips devilishly as he stared down at her. He enjoyed looking at her as she was soaking wet, he supposed that was only natural as they stood under a waterfall. The way she was licking her lips was making him hungry, but not for food. "Don't do that Miss Wood." He said in his silky voice. She raised an eyebrow at him too. "Back to formal names now?" She said and he smirked slightly. "Don't do what professor?" She hissed at him and it sounded so naughty that she called him that, which of course caused him to widen his eyes.

"Do not lick your lips in front of me like that…" He said and lowered his head to her neck where he spoke into her ear. "It will make me…" He kissed below her ear "Do things." He whispered as his hands dropped from her lower back to her backside, which made her melt into his arms. At that she took in a deep breath and pressed her breasts into his chest, trying to mold her body to his. "You are wicked." She said as she kissed his chest while resting her hands on his stomach. "That depends on the victim." He said back to her while moving his hands gently over her smooth, wet skin. She smiled into his chest. He then began to run his hands up the sides of her body until they were under her arms. He ran them along her arms as he pulled them up and extended them as far as they could reach into the sky. He locked his fingers in hers as he dove in for a kiss then he pulled her arms behind his head so they were wrapped around his neck, her elbows on his shoulders. He continued to glide his hands around her arms, caressing them with his fingers until they stopped at her shoulders. He dropped his hands to her back and dipped her slowly backwards. She gasped at the sudden rush and he felt her fingers crawl up to the base of his skull where they became tangled in his wet hair, clinging to him for life. It drove him wild.

He was glad she was flexible as he moved his lips across her collarbone and placed kisses randomly along her wet skin. She let her head fall back and her eyes close, the feeling of being nearly upside down while being kissed senseless was more then she could have ever imagined. As if she was dancing the tango she raised one of her knees up his leg and rested it next to his hip. After the many years of being a dancer it felt natural and she almost laughed at the thought of what it looked like. "Are you trying to dance with me professor?" She said mischievously. He smiled wickedly into her skin. He held her firmly behind the back with one of his hands and the other he moved into her hair. From there he ran his fingers down over her eyelids, across her cheek, softly over her lips and smoothly over her neck. He then let it fall across her breast and she smiled again. He saw her smiling and he answered, "I can't dance Miss Wood." He sounded sincere.

She raised her head to look at him and again she looked full of curiosity. "Really?" She said as she smiled. He couldn't help but be honest with her. "I admit it. I have no formal back round as you do." He said almost in a growl. At that she bit her lip playfully and he studied her. She raised the leg even with his hip around his waist and adjusted it so it was like a claw to him and he raised an eyebrow. "I may have to teach you then." She said in a poisonous voice as she straitened her back to become nearer to him. Her soaking wet hair was clinging to her skin in various places and it made her look like some wild native of the island. She moved a hand from his head and cupped it around the hand he had placed on her breast. She pressed harder on his hand so she molded beneath his palm and fingers and she kissed him. Barely taking her lips from his she spoke into his mouth, "Don't be afraid to touch me" In a voice hardly above a whisper. His head was buzzing again. He felt as if she was some forbidden treasure just waiting to be captured.

She let her back arch again and he was amazed at how she was bending in half. As she arched backwards she closed her eyes and let him enjoy this view, she knew he was probably in awe of how flexible she was. She wrapped her leg around him tighter and pressed into him as much as she could. She felt him lower his head to her chest and she soon felt the soft nibbling of his teeth on her exposed nipple. She could faint right then and there but she forced her self to stay conscious. Her hand that was still caught up in his hair was slowly gliding down his neck and across his chest. She found her way to his back and then she surprised him by lowering it to his own backside. He moaned into her chest and she was positively in a high. "Seda…" He said softly as his lips traveled up to her neck. He pulled her up slowly and as her eyes opened they lit up at the sight of his expression. He looked like he had the cleverest idea in his head and she was dying to hear it, whatever it was.

"Yesssss… Severus?" She said as her face touched his. They breathed heavily into the other and for a moment they were at a loss for words. The feeling she was giving him was nothing he had ever experienced in his life and he didn't know if that was a good thing. He wanted to believe it was but he also didn't want to think about it right now. He wanted his senses to take over now and he knew she was feeling the same way. He let his hand fall from her breast and rest under her leg that was so delicately wrapped around him. She bit her lips again and he needed them desperately. He snatched them with his own and gave her the most passionate, mind-boggling and heart stopping kiss he could manage. Her eyes widened in shock at the powerful kiss and then she closed her eyes to enjoy it more deeply. She raised both her hands to his face and tried to feel as much of his skin as she could. The sounds of the waterfall and the animals around them were dissolving into the atmosphere and she couldn't hear anything but the beating of their hearts.

They were becoming increasingly faster and louder and she didn't know what was happening now, only that her life was holding on by a thread and that was his lips. His tongue entered her mouth and she gladly accepted it. They continued this way for several minutes until she needed something more. "Severus…" She said as she tried to gasp for air. "Should we?" She asked him as he trailed his lips down her neck. He looked up into her eyes and they were alight again. "Can we?" She asked him in a whisper. The sounds around them were coming back as her heart thumped again. "If you want." He said while looking deeply into her. She laughed and he looked at her suspiciously. "Have you gone mad? Of course I want to." She said as she grinned into his mouth. He moaned as she grabbed his lower lip with her teeth and sucked on it gently. He couldn't take it much longer.

At that he put his other hand under her backside and the other he held under her leg that she had wrapped around him. He lifted her so that she was off the ground and she shrieked slightly into his mouth. She knew what to do, she took her other leg and wrapped it around his waist too and then she clung to him more then ever. Somehow he had walked underneath the waterfall without falling and just past the running water was a flat stone wall, almost like a cove but flat. There was only about two feet between the waterfall and the wall but that was more then enough room. She looked around and up the stone wall; it looked like it went on forever. "How did you know this was here?" She said in awe of her surroundings. "Lucky guess" He answered her as he moved her up against the wall. She felt the rocks on her back but they weren't too rough, they were rather smooth actually and it felt nice. "Let me know if it's too rough." He said as he kissed her neck. She laughed slightly and said, "What? The rocks or you?"

He replied to her by using his hands to press firmly around her backside and she moaned. He spoke in a growl as he said, "Clever, but what do you think?" And she purred into his ear, which made him regret he ever waited this long. She felt him becoming stiffer by the second as it pressed against her thigh. She released one of her hands from his neck and slid it down between her legs. She grabbed him and led him inside her, which made him stiffen to his full length as he felt her around him. They both moaned at the sensation it created and to make it better she opened her hips to their full extent and squeezed him with her legs to bring them closer. He moaned again into her ear and she smiled for a second before she let out of a scream of pleasure. He pumped into her faster and she had to dig her nails into his shoulders to keep her from screaming as loud as she wanted to.

Her legs were almost numb and the tingling was traveling down to her toes. She had to unwrap her legs from around him and place her feet firmly on the ground. Even as she did that he never lost his rhythm but he only dove into her deeper. When she was standing securely she leaned as far back against the wall as possible and he pressed his hips into her more. She let out another scream as he buried himself in her. He moved his hands from the back and placed them on her hips, that way he could lead her wherever he wanted. She didn't seem to mind because she let out moans and screams that obviously meant he was doing everything perfectly. She didn't know what to do with her self, she wanted everything at that moment to be more then she had ever felt. She moaned again loudly and released her nails from his shoulders then slapped them against the cool, wet wall behind her, trying to steady her self. As he pushed himself further he felt her pressing against him, trying to practically get inside him. He couldn't think so he buried him self in her again, and again, and again until she was screaming for the world to stop turning. She gripped the wall with her fingers as much as she could, she wanted to push her self to the limit, try to make it last longer but she needed the release now.

She pleaded with her self to wait as long as she could and she had to move her hands again to distract her self. She was breathing so fast she didn't know how she was getting any oxygen at all, maybe that's why her head felt light she thought. She felt her self move her hips with his, grinding into him to bring them closer. She screamed again and then she had to bite her lip to stop. She moved her hands away from the wall and rested them on his, which were guiding her hips into his. She squeezed with all her might as she began to tense up around him. She knew it was coming soon and she grabbed his lips one last time before she exploded. He felt her lips and the look in her eyes was fierce. He looked right at her and pushed into her one more time, further then he thought he could go and she let out a long scream mixed with a moan. She contracted around him wonderfully and he then let out his own moan into her mouth as he slowed his pace. He thrusted into her slowly, to ease the contractions around him, until they were both numb.

He kissed her softly on the lips and continued to let himself rest inside her. She took his lips and tried to breathe slowly but she couldn't help but pant wildly. She felt him releasing inside her, it was so warm and smooth, and it was the most wicked and pleasurable feeling she had ever experienced, she wanted more of it. They kissed slowly trying to find air in the other until he she stopped pulsing around him. He pulled his hips back slightly and he slid out of her. He was extremely numb and he knew she was too. She felt the absence of him in her and she moaned again, but sadly. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Seda…" he said out of breath and she opened her eyes too. She leaned her head back against the stone wall and took deep breaths as his hands snaked up from her hips and steeling hers he raised them to either side of her head. He pushed her hands into the wall and molded them into him and she took her fingers and weaved them into his. They kissed passionately for several minutes until they both calmed down.

He finished by rubbing his nose against hers and kissed her eyelids softly and then he pulled his face away from hers and she opened her eyes. "We have classes to get to." He said, not really wanting to leave. She sighed and said, "I know. How unfortunate is that?" She said with a smile on her face. He smirked back at her and then he finally stepped away from her, feeling very alone as he did. They lowered their hands and he held onto one while he led her out of the waterfall. There they finished the intended shower, kissing occasionally as they rinsed the soap from one another and finally they stepped out of the shower and back into her bathroom. She amazed her self when she looked around because she felt like she was really thousands of miles away. He draped a towel around her shoulders and grabbed another one to dry himself off. After a few minutes of patting himself down he looked back up and saw that she was watching him, amused.

He raised an eyebrow at her and she seemed to gather her self. She had not even dried her self off, her hair was still dripping wet. She wrapped the towel underneath her arms and then sat down on the edge of the bathtub. She continued to look at him, but sadly now. He followed her with his eyes as he tied the towel around his waist. "Is something wrong?" He asked her. How could she possibly be feeling bad after what they just did? "Nothing, I just-" She sighed. "It's just going to be awkward now, isn't it?" She asked him. He understood now. "I suppose it will be, as no one knows. But try not to think about it just now." He walked over to her as she looked up. He reached down and pulled her up by the hands. He held them to his chest and spoke, "We'll figure something out, but now…" He kissed her cheek "We have to get going and you…" He kissed her other cheek "Need to dry off."

He finished by laying a long kiss on her lips and she wished he wouldn't pull away but he did. She smiled softly as he looked into her eyes. "See you at breakfast." He said and placed another quick kiss on her lips. His voice was so deep and wonderful that she got lost in that alone. He walked out of the bathroom and picked up his wand from the floor near the pile of clothes left over from last night. As she followed him out she saw him mutter a charm and his hair became dry and his clothes were put back on his body. She would have smiled at this but she was too caught up in her thoughts to do it. He said good-bye and slipped out the door and she suddenly felt alone with him being gone.

She walked over to the fireplace and slumped into a chair. It was six thirty, she noticed her watch sitting on the table. She sighed a few times and a smile spread across her lips as she heard his voice in her head. "I can't dance… HA!" She laughed out loud. She pictured them dancing across the Entrance Hall in the moonlight and she began to smile again. Then something totally out of the blue popped into her head and she almost screamed. She sat bolt upright in her chair and began to think frantically. What was she going to do, who could she ask? She immediately thought of Hermione and she dashed from the chair to the desk where she searched for a quill and piece of parchment. She scribbled down a note and looked around for Aura. She wasn't back yet from her letter she sent to Harry last night. "Crap!" She yelled out loud. She decided that maybe after her first class in between lunch maybe she would return so she pushed her self from the chair weakly and walked into the bathroom. "How could I be so stupid?" She yelled at her self.

* * *

Seda found to her displeasure that she was very sore that day. Not only was that uncomfortable, but also as she walked down the aisles of the Great Hall it seemed much longer then usual and it felt as though everyone were staring right at her, as if she looked different. She eyed them all curiously and realized she just needed to calm down. When her eyes fell upon Severus who was sitting at the staff table already her heart skipped a beat. How were they going to sit next to each other with out jumping on the other? She was glad she didn't have potions class that day, or it would have been a nightmare. As she sat down she had to fight her self not to lay a gentle kiss on his lips, and she closed her eyes every time she had to turn his way. She continued not to look at him, as hard as it was, because she feared she would pounce and take him on the table that very moment.

He noticed her behavior and she supposed he was able to restrain himself better then she could, because he would occasionally ask her to pass something. Every time he asked she would gulp and then hand him the object while keeping her back to him. The last time she did that he had asked her for the butter and she turned completely away from him and then handed him the butter from behind her back. McGonagall noticed what Seda was doing and raised an eyebrow at her. Seda tried to grin innocently but she felt the heat forming in her cheeks so she just kept forcing a fake smile, trying to prove she wasn't doing anything wrong. Snape whispered to her as she turned back to the front to sip her orange juice, "What are you doing?" He asked her curiously. She spoke through her teeth as she raised the glass to her mouth, "Trying not to look at you." She said honestly and he smirked slightly but only for a second. He returned to his reading in the Daily Prophet and she took a deep breath. It was easy for her to have passionate sex with him but she found it incredibly hard just trying to sit next to him and not stare while he did nothing, or not to reach out and grab his hand under the table.

Se got lost in her thoughts again because all she thought about was what they had done in the past twelve hours. They fought, talked, had sex, talked and had sex again. She could have almost slapped her self because the sound of that was making her think she was acting like a whore, but she knew she wasn't. It wasn't as if she was asking for favors or money, or he was forcing it, she did it of her own free will and now that she thought about it she was certainly glad she did. She smiled evilly to her self. It was rather fun keeping it a secret like this but then she thought of another secret and why she had to contact Hermione as soon as possible.

She snapped out of her daze immediately and turned her head slowly to look at the potions master. He was still reading but his eyes flashed ever so smoothly towards her and he rotated his head the slightest bit to see more of her. She widened her eyes at him to communicate that something was wrong and he realized. They both were just ready to attend their first classes but they had no time to talk now. As he stood he whispered softly towards her ear, "Staff room after first lesson." He quickly stood up and she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and nodded. He swept out of the Hall then she stood up to go to her first class, but as she pushed her chair in she had the strangest look from McGonagall and the smallest wink from Dumbledore. She pretended not to notice and left as quickly as possible.

* * *

After Charms class she would have normally gone to her rooms before heading back down for lunch, but instead of continuing down the corridor to her rooms she descended for the staff room. When she found it she opened the door the slightest bit and looked around, she wanted to make sure no one else was there. "No one else is here." She heard his voice and slipped through the door. He was sitting in a chair near the fireplace and she walked around to the one across from him. "Am I allowed to be in here?" She asked cautiously, still searching the room. "If you are invited here by a staff member then it's perfectly fine. Now, is something the matter? Why did you give me that look?" He asked curiously as she sat down. She sighed and wished she could have spoken with Hermione first but this was better then nothing. "Well, I don't want to make a big deal of this but I'm a little concerned that maybe…" She paused and started to chew on her lip. "What is it?" He said a little bit more demanding.

"Well, we didn't…" she dropped her voice to a whisper and continued. "We didn't… use anything… to, you know?" She looked at him awkwardly and he looked back at her with the same expression, then it came to him. His eyes widened in shock. "Understand what I mean now?" She said looking at him more closely. "What if… I'm… if I get…" She couldn't even say it. He stood up and stared down at her, and her eyes followed him. "I know. You don't have to say it." He said while pressing his fingers to his temple. He shut his eyes to think. She stood up too. "Well then… now what? What do I do if that happens? There's a likely chance you know." She said, her face tightening with fear and sadness. He opened his eyes to look back at her and he couldn't think of anything to say at the moment. "How will I explain it? What will they think of us?" She said frantically. "I mean… I'm not ready for that yet, you know? I - I…" She gave a hysterical little laugh then dropped back down into the chair. He watched her with a look of concern on his face. How could he have overlooked this? How? He yelled into his head.

"Well…" He swallowed hard, finding his throat to have either shrunk or his tongue was tied in a knot. "You are going to have to see Madame Pomfrey as soon as possible." She buried her face in her hands, digging her palms into her eyes. He walked over and pulled a chair in front of her, where he sat down and took her hands in his own. Molding them into his he said softly, "I hadn't thought about the consequences, for once in my life, and look where it's brought me?" He said this more to himself but she looked up at him from beneath her lashes and he saw the redness in her eyes, meaning she was on the verge of tears. "If this were to happen, and it is possible, then I'll not leave this as your burden. It's mine also, and if I would have thought a bit more clearly I could have…" He paused as she lifted her chin up again slowly. "Don't tell me you regretted what we did now, because that's really the last thing I need to hear." She said, fighting the stinging in her eyes and trying to keep her voice calm. He held her hands tighter and looked at her more seriously then before. "No." He said shaking his head. "I don't regret what we did, I promise you that." She gave him a look of sympathy almost, that was reassuring to hear though. "I only meant that if I would have taken the extra step to place the charm on us we wouldn't be sitting here as worried as we are." He finished quietly and simply.

"What?" She said trying to hold back the tears. "You mean we could have used a charm? Why didn't we think of that before?" She said, the franticness coming back. "I don't know why I didn't think of it, I apologize." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "It's all right, it's not your fault. We both should have…" She opened her eyes and he felt her squeeze his hands. "I'm scared." She whispered as one tear fell down her cheek. He wiped it from her face and spoke, "I have no doubts that you are but as I said you'll need to see Poppy as soon as possible. Try not to think about it until then." She nodded. "What will I tell her though? I can't just waltz in there and tell her I think I'm pregnant. Won't she question me about who the other one is?" She asked him softly but seriously. Again, he shook his head and she lowered her eyebrows. "She is not allowed to ask a student that for the confidentiality of that student. If she sees any problems she may need to question you a bit, but she is not supposed to ask who the father is or how it happened." He looked deeply into her eyes. "If you want me to…" Seda shook her head this time. "I'm not getting you into trouble over this. Just let me find out and I'll let you know what happens." She was becoming a bit calmer and they sat there for a few minutes, not speaking. She finally began to stand up and he followed. He bent down and kissed her lips softly then released her hands. She tried to give him a smile but all she could manage was a blink. They said their good-byes and went their separate ways, for the time being.

Seda immediately dashed off to her rooms instead of going to lunch. She tore into the bedroom and called for Aura. She stood in the middle of the room and looked around. To her relief Aura came fluttering down to her arm with a note in her beak. She took it from her as she walked over to the desk. She set Aura on the desk and grabbed her letter for Hermione. Looking guilty at the owl she said, "I know you just got back but this is really important. I need you to deliver this as quickly as you can... it's urgent. I promise I'll treat you well when you get back." Aura hooted at her meaning she understood. Seda gave her the letter and she immediately took off out the window. Seda sighed and watched her fly away for a moment then she realized she was still holding Harry's letter. She ripped it open; not really thinking about what he would say then began to read. Her eyes widened as she read on and her jaw dropped slightly.

* * *

Seda,

I could tell you were upset with that last letter and maybe I didn't explain myself properly. I must confess that I was and have been worried about you, as you didn't seem comfortable that day we nearly kissed. Maybe I was moving too fast, I don't know, but I ask you not to judge me by the way I acted that day. I was acting stupid and I apologize again if I caused any hurt feelings. Anyway, back to your concerns. When I said that I knew what happened to you (by the way I am truly and honestly sorry, I had no idea) I meant that I had weaseled it from a source you knew of until that person gave in, not that the person weaseled on you. I admit that Snape and I exchanged several words that night, out of concern for you of course, but he did not tell me what you thought he did. He refused because he felt it would be inappropriate and out of his place, which is true now that I look at it. I should have respected your feelings to the extent you wanted me to, but I couldn't help but wonder why you were lying unconscious for no given reason, so I pressed the only other person I knew that knew. I just want to warn you not to be upset; if you are it's entirely my fault and not the person's I am about to mention. After I left you in Snape's office that night I returned to Hermione's house where I had been only hours before. I was in such a state that I forced her to tell me what was going on. So then she told me that she and Snape had been studying certain dreams you've been having and that the intensity of it all began after a certain horrific event that happened to you. She begged me not to say anything because she felt she was betraying your trust more deeply then she could have ever thought possible. So, I beg you not to be upset with her, or even Snape for that matter, but me alone. I am to blame for any feelings you may have right now and I understand completely if you never wish to see me again. All I can say is this; I only wanted to know the truth about you and I guess I should have considered your wishes more so then mine, but it was out of concern for you honestly. I thought if maybe I knew what was troubling you I could help, but this is something I regret to say I can't help you cope with. I can sympathize, and you may not even want me too which is fine, but I cannot help you as I thought I could. Again, a thousand and one apologies and I hope this does not end the friendship we started. I feel as if we share a lot of common interests and it doesn't hurt to have an extra friend, but this is entirely up to you. Write me if you feel as though I deserve it, I'll not be expecting a letter to be quite clear.

Hoping we can still talk,

Harry P.

* * *

When Seda finished the letter she felt a mixture of feelings. She felt guilty she blamed Severus the other night for telling her secret but now she knew he was telling her the truth, he always said he would never lie to her. She of course couldn't be upset with Hermione because she knew Hermione well enough to know that she would never do anything hurtful on purpose. Then there was Harry. She didn't know how to feel towards him right now. She wasn't exactly mad at him or even upset, she was just frustrated that he went through so much trouble to find out, nearly making the situation more intense then it should have been. She was partly to blame though because she should have just told him her feelings from the beginning. She liked Harry very much, but as a friend now that she knew him better. She imagined at the time she was feeling particularly vulnerable but she should have been honest also. The truth was she had feelings for Severus and not Harry. She was going to have to tell him that because even though he wasn't saying it, she knew he was starting to have feelings for her. She needed to put an end to it right away, before it became too complicated.

She sighed out loud and stared at his letter again, trying to take it all in. The past few day s have certainly been a roller coaster ride because she never thought her feelings could soar from high to low at such a fast and twisted pace. She took several deep breaths; this was a lot for her to take in within a day's time. She then pulled out a piece of parchment and began to write another letter to Harry, but this time it was short and sweet. She asked him to meet her for lunch on Saturday and she would then explain everything, as best she could. In the meantime she was going to wait impatiently for Hermione's letter and then make a visit to Madame Pomfrey, hoping it would be a very short one.


	37. Results What if

Well my friends, I first must apologize for the time it's been since I last updated. School has been very hectic and unfortunately that does come first. I've just finished midterms so I have a little bit of spare time on my hands to write up some new chapters. I apologize once again and hope you can forgive me. As a peace offering, HaHa, I've made this new chapter and now I present it to you, my wonderful readers. Enjoy it and thanks for all your encouragement... Happy Thanksgiving!Toodles!

Seda had a very rough night Tuesday. Not because she had another dream but because she wondered half the night if she was really pregnant and what would happen if she was. She also thought about what she would have to tell her parents when she saw them and how she could look anyone in the eye. She felt foolish and she should have known better, they should have known better. She, of course, didn't really regret what they did because it was the most amazing thing that ever happened to her, but she still yelled at her self for not thinking thoroughly about the consequences. This mainly kept her up most of the night but other things popped in here and there as well.

Occasionally she wondered what it would be like to have a baby, to be a mother. She had always wanted children but she never planned for it to be this soon and she certainly didn't expect for it to happen this way. She had dreams ever since she was a young girl that she would get married to the man she always thought would be her prince charming and then they would have children, maybe four or five of them and she would be happy for the rest of her life. Now she thought back on how ridiculous she was, a little girl's dreams are always outrageous but she supposed it could still be possible. Of course back then she wouldn't pick Severus as her prince but now that she knew him she decided he probably wasn't so bad.

What was she saying, she yelled to her self, of course he isn't that bad. He was intimidating yes and very stubborn and unsociable but he did have extra little things that made up for all those. She admired his cleverness and how intelligent he seemed; he was mysterious and so bitter sometimes she found it quite fascinating. She loved the way he could reply back with a biting remark and then smirks at the thought he won, and she loved that he always wanted to be right and that he assumed he knew everything. She enjoyed the way he always seemed to know what she was thinking at any moment and of course the way his eyes lit up around her. And then he had those lips and that voice. She could melt just listening to him speak. And then his hands… his hands seemed so rough and cold but actually they were delicate, smooth and warm. Every time he snaked them across her skin she couldn't help but burn beneath his touch.

She had to shake her head to stop her self from getting carried away. Suddenly she thought of what he would be like if they were to have a child together. Would he really stay around and help take care of the baby or would he just say he was and then disappear? She imagined he had probably never been around babies before and she almost laughed at the thought of him playing with it. It was a strange thought but she thought if it were to happen then maybe he would catch on. He did seem to care about his students very much and he was actually very patient. There was only that one little fact that nearly all his students were scared of him, including her self at times. She sighed, she would just have to wait and see. She didn't even know if she was really pregnant yet.

She woke up Wednesday morning after finally falling asleep. She managed to get in a few hours but she was glad when the sun came up because she finally jumped out of bed and took a long shower to ease her mind. She waited for a reply from Hermione but it wasn't back yet so she headed down to breakfast instead. She walked down the long aisle of the Great Hall and tried not to look around at anyone who might think she looked suspicious. She knew they wouldn't be able to tell but she just felt so awkward. She looked up to the table before she got there and naturally he was already there. He was always one of the first to arrive, probably because he woke up so early everyday. As she neared the table they caught the others eye and a strange feeling passed through her body. She didn't know what it was but all she knew was that she wanted to hurry up and sit down next to him. She held her self from running up the aisle because that would look very bizarre so she continued to walk normally.

As she sat down next to him he glanced over at her quickly, almost questioning her if she knew yet. She shook her head hoping he would understand what she meant and then he went back to drinking his coffee. She looked around the table for a minute trying to decide what she wanted but nothing looked appetizing she thought. The sausages and eggs made her think of too much grease and the toast and muffins sounded to dry. The orange juice looked too orange and the water seemed too watery. She sighed, she didn't know what was wrong with her, but maybe it was just her nerves. She decided on coffee, maybe the caffeine would do her some good. She poured her self a cup, added a cube of sugar and stirred it while continuing to daze out into the enchanted ceiling. She propped her self up with one elbow on the table with her cheek in her hand and the other she continued to stir, she hadn't even taken a sip yet.

Snape looked down at her and raised an eyebrow. "Something wrong with your coffee Miss Wood?" He said quietly but in his usual voice. She looked over at him out of the corner of her eye and said, "I'm not very hungry." She sighed and then he replied, "I wasn't aware you eat coffee. I thought it was for drinking." He smirked sarcastically at her and she forced her self not to roll her eyes. She finally raised the cup to her lips and drank some of it. He then looked away from her and continued with his piece of sausage. She sat back in her chair and stared around at all the tables of students. They seemed so young yet she wasn't much older then some of them. She had an outrageous thought that possibly in eleven years her own child could be sitting at one of those tables. She shook her head again to clear the thought away and pressed her hands into her eyes. She needed to stop thinking about it, but how could she? What she would find out in a few days time could change the rest of her life and she wasn't exactly ready for that change yet, not now.

She drummed her fingers on the table for a few minutes then decided she couldn't sit there anymore. She stood from the table and exited the Great Hall as fast as she could with out looking peculiar and slipped inside an empty room around the corner. It was the same room she had used for a midnight rehearsal but it was much brighter now. She sat down on one of the benches and leaned against the wall. She closed her eyes to rest for a few minutes but a voice brought her back.

"Taking a nap are we?" Came that familiar deep voice. She snapped open her eyes and found Severus standing in front of her with his arms crossed. She took a deep breath then answered, "No. I was just tired of sitting there worrying so I left." She closed her eyes again; she really was tired now.

"I see." He answered while studying her face. She looked rather tired today. "Are you still worried about the results? I take it you haven't seen her yet." He said quietly but almost friendly. He never sounded friendly, always demanding and bitter. He watched the slow rising and falling of her chest and he was mesmerized. Not long ago could he actually feel the beating of her heart against his chest and he enjoyed that feeling.

"I haven't seen her yet, no. I wanted to wait until I heard back from…" She opened her eyes. She thought it wouldn't be best to say any more. She didn't want him to know she had told anyone. He raised his eyebrows at her. "Never mind" she finished trying to look away from him.

"I knew you were going to tell Hermione, or at least ask her about your condition. You don't need to hide it from me, I already know." He said while smirking at her. She wasn't very good at covering things up, or at least keeping a secret. It amused him.

She sat up straight and looked into his eyes. "Sorry. I just wanted to ask her what I should do. I didn't tell her who it was." She was being honest with him.

"I have no doubt she knows who it is by now. She's always had a mind for figuring things out before any one else and she's been on to me for awhile now." He answered very casually. This surprised her, because he didn't sound mad at all, even frustrated.

"And you… you're not angry?" She asked a little hesitant to say it. He stared at her for several moments before he said, "I can't exactly blame her for the way her mind works, but hopefully she'll have enough sense to keep her mouth shut until things have been settled. She's never been good at holding her tongue."

She almost rolled her eyes again but instead she scrunched her nose in annoyance. "I really don't think she would go blabbing about what's going on, you can trust me on that. She would never do something intentionally to hurt me… or even you." She finished quietly; so quiet he almost didn't hear her. She looked away from him again.

Neither of them said anything for a few moments. The silence was starting to eat her sanity away so she finally blurted out, "What if I am?" She couldn't hold it in anymore. She needed to know what would happen if it came to that. She looked up at him slowly, her chest pounding, waiting for his answer. The moments felt like years.

He stared at her for a long while, but he didn't stare at her as though he was angry with her, it was more like he was viewing his thoughts in her eyes. Very rarely did he ever take deep breaths to steady him self, but for this particular moment he needed all the oxygen he could get to his brain. He looked at her deeply and seriously as he said, "Well, I wasn't going to abandon you if that's what you were wondering. I have been thinking about it, naturally, and I knew that would never be an option. This is very much my mistake and I admit it." He surprised himself at how easy it was to be honest with her.

She had to blink several times to take it all in, then she stood up and looked at him very curiously. "But you don't think what happened between us was a mistake do you? I know this is a burden but… you wouldn't take it back would you?" She knew this was going to be a hard question to answer and she waited patiently for him to answer. She made sure she had his eyes locked on hers so he couldn't look away.

"Even though what may happen at this very moment that could change both our lives… no, I wouldn't take it back." He answered more quickly then she thought he would, and again she was almost taken back when he said it.

Her eyes widened in amazement, he never failed to fascinate her. "You… do you mean that?" She whispered. Her heart nearly skipped a beat. She felt something move along her neck and she glanced down to see his hand moving up to her face. He caressed her skin and moved in close to her facethen whispered back, "I do mean that." Her eyes widened more but all her thoughts were erased when he gently pressed his lips to hers. She was just starting to realize he was kissing her when he pulled away.

He stood up straight but left his hand on her face. "Now I want you to try and not think so much about it just now. Concentrate on your classes and when the time comes to think about it do it then. Be sure to tell me what happens… I'll be waiting." He stroked her cheek with his thumb once more and then left the room. She turned to watch him leave and then stared at the empty door way for several minutes before she left for class.

Instead of going to lunch she headed straight up to her rooms. She was relieved when she saw a letter sitting on her desk and she ripped it open and started to read as quickly as she could. It was from Hermione and after reading the letter she had to slump into a chair to keep from falling over. Apparently Hermione was speechless at the thought Seda might be pregnant and Seda didn't know if that was a good thing or not. All she could say was she had better see Madame Pomfrey right away and write back as soon as she found out.

Now she was really torn. She thought Hermione would give her a bit of advice but she didn't say anything encouraging at all. She sat in the chair and stared at the letter hoping something good would pop out of it but nothing happened. She decided this was enough waiting and she couldn't put it off anymore. She stood from the chair and took several deep breaths, and then she closed her eyes and prayed for strength to get through what ever might happen. She opened her eyes, said good-bye to Aura then left for the hospital wing.

She opened the door a crack and made sure no one else was in the room. When she saw that it was empty she slid through the door and walked to Madame Pomfrey's office. It seemed that the closer she walked to her office the more difficult it was to breathe. To her displeasure she reached the door and knocked. She waited for a voice and knocked again. For a moment she thought Poppy wasn't in but then she heard the door click and then came Poppy's face behind it. Seda's breath stopped in her throat.

"Yes dear, what is it?" Poppy said. When she saw that Seda was speechless she stepped out of her office and looked more concerned. "Is everything all right? Is something wrong?" She sounded worried. Seda tried to answer but all she could do was shake her head. Poppy placed a hand on her arm and looked at her seriously, "Something must be wrong or you wouldn't be here. Don't be afraid to tell me." She said softly.

Seda took another deep breath then tried to talk again. "Well… I… think…. I think I might be… it's possible I may be…" She had to look away.

"You think you might be pregnant?" Poppy said quietly trying to see Seda's face. Seda looked up into Poppy's face and nodded, almost feeling ashamed now. Still she couldn't speak. "Well dear, we checked all that last time when you were here because of what happened. You weren't pregnant then, and very lucky you weren't too. Do you think maybe you have some other illness?" Poppy tried to smile warmly but Seda still looked at her nervously.

She shook her head and said, "I know, but that's not it. Something else happened just recently and I… I need to know." It was very strange trying to explain this.

Poppy looked at her seriously again. "It wasn't like last time was it? I mean this was… of your decision?"

"Yes, this wasn't like last time, I swear. This time it was because I wanted to." They looked at each other awkwardly for a moment then Poppy said, "Of course, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to question you."

"It's okay. I just don't want to make a big deal about this, at least until I know for sure." Poppy nodded and led her over to a bed. Seda layed on her back and looked up nervously, scared of what she might find out. Poppy put a hand on Seda's and looked at her in a friendly way. "Well, let's find out shall we?" She smiled softly.

After her afternoon classes she skipped dinner too and went straight to her rooms. She promised Hermione she would write as soon as she found out the results. This was actually the easiest letter she ever had to write to her; it was straight forward and to the point. After sending the letter off with Aura she tried to do some studying. After an hour of reading the same page over and over for no reason she knew she needed a break. She decided a walk would do her good and she knew exactly where she needed to go.

She knocked on his office door for nearly five minutes and when he didn't answer she finallyconcluded he wasn't there. 'He must be at dinner still' she thought. She headed back up the stairs, looking over her shoulders occasionally to make sure no one was following her. She thought about going to dinner but then she talked her self out of it. She exited the castle instead and made her way out onto the grounds. It was getting very cold she noticed but she didn't care.

She sat at her usual spot on the shore of the lake and watched the gentle ripples fade away. Even the simplicity of it all was enough to soothe her and make her lose track of time. Soon she couldn't feel her toes and fingers but she continued to sit there and think.

"I figured you would be out here." She heard his voice coming from behind. Without turning to him or even moving at all she said, "You weren't in your office so I decided on a walk. How did you know I would be here?" She sounded uninterested, just lost in thought.

"I know you better then you think." He answered as he moved around to stand beside her. He looked down at her and saw the rosiness in her cheeks and the pale complexion on her face from the cold. "So have you found out anything yet?" He asked cautiously preparing him self for the answer.

She took a deep breath and dropped her head to her chest. She intertwined her fingers and fiddled them around unknowingly. "No." She said in a small voice. "No?" He said slightly surprised. "I thought you went…" She cut him off. "No as in I'm not." She looked up at him. "I'm not pregnant." She blinked then looked back out into the lake.

He was very relieved to hear this but something didn't seem right about her he noticed. She almost looked more upset now that she found out she wasn't then she did before she knew. This puzzled him. "Why do you seem unhappy about this?" He questioned her, not sure whether that was the right thing to say or not.

She continued to stare in front of her. "I'm not unhappy about it, I'm relieved… but I was… just… never mind." She finished quietly again. She took another deep breath and this time her body shook from being cold. She could see the steam coming from her mouth as she exhaled.

He looked at her more intensely. "But part of you is wishing you were." He said bluntly. He knew that is what she was thinking about. Women were practically all the same when it comes to these kinds of emotional situations. They want one thing but part of them feels the other way. He didn't know how they managed to stay sane but he supposed something inside them had to work properly or they would all be out of their minds and impossible to communicate with. Well, they were difficult to communicate with but to an extent. He thought it was maddening.

Still staring in front of her she said, "Well no… I mean not really… well maybe… but I don't know. I always wanted to have children." She sounded practically miserable and heart broken. He stared at her more confused then ever but then tried to bring sense back into her head. "Maybe someday but not now surely. You are not ready for that responsibility yet, you know that." He said trying to make her understand she was being upset over nothing.

"I know but… I was thinking maybe… well anyway I am glad I'm not. There is too much going on right now anyway but…" She stopped as she yawned, her body shaking again. "Look at me." He said pulling her up to face him. "I know it must be disappointing to you now but think of how it would change your life. That is a rather big change at your age. Stop thinking about it or it is going to drive you insane." He said seriously, that look of determination in his eyes again. Something in her eyes just wasn't right he noticed. Something was blank about them at that moment.

Her pink cheeks were glowing against her white cold skin and the color in her eyes stood out more then he had ever seen. It was almost as if he could see the stars reflecting in them but something still seemed to be wrong. He reached down for her hand and said, "You understand that don't you?" Her hand was like an ice cube he noticed as she nodded. He grabbed her other hand and cupped them in his, trying to warm them. "You're hands are freezing. I think it's time you went back inside." She continued to stare at him blankly and then something popped in her head.

"What would you have done if… I was pregnant?" She wanted to know, badly. She spoke softly and innocently. He lowered his eyebrows at her for several moments, thinking of what to say. She swallowed hard waiting for his answer. "I told you already that if it did turn out that way I wouldn't abandon you. I already stated that this was mostly my fault… or did you forget that." She shook her head as he spoke. He looked at her puzzled again.

"That's not what I mean. I know you would stay around but I mean would you… would you… it doesn't matter anyway." He understood what she meant now. "You want to know if I would act like a father?" He said practically reading her mind. When she didn't say anything or even move he knew that was it. This conversation was getting much too difficult and personal for his liking but he supposed this was what was going to happen if they shared nights like they just did. "When I said I wouldn't abandon the situation I meant that I would also take the responsibility that came with it. Meaning that I would act as the father but as it hasn't come to that I don't think we need to discuss it. You are worrying too much about it. Now let's go inside, you're shaking." His voice was soft but it was almost a hiss.

She nodded and they turned to walk up to the castle. She shivered the whole time and let out a few sneezes on the way there. When they were just outside the doors into the Entrance Hall he turned to her and said, "Maybe you should go to Madame Pomfrey and get a dose of Pepper-Up Potion." He suggested but she shook her head. "I don't feel like bothering her again. I'll be fine, I'm just cold." She argued back. He gave her a look that she was being stubborn. "Come with me." He said as he opened the doors and stepped inside. He let her in then closed the doors.

She looked at him and said, "No really. I don't want to see her, I'm fine." She said following him but then he said, "Do you always have to argue? Just come with me." She continued to follow him and he led her down the stairs to the dungeons. "But… but I…" She started but then she just gave up. He walked all the way to his office and stopped. He turned to her and said, "You see, sometimes if you don't argue with me you'll understand better." He smirked and then opened the door. She followed him inside and stood by the door as he walked over to the fireplace and lit it. He pointed at a chair with his wand as it moved nearer to the fireplace and said, "Sit" He then walked over to his private stores cupboard and took out a small vial.

He saw that she was still standing and he said, "Something wrong?" She shook her head and walked over to the cushy armchair and sat down. He walked beside her and handed her a small vial. "Drink this." He said as she took it from his hand. She looked at the small vial in her hands. "What is this?" She swirled the contents around. "This isn't Pepper-Up Potion… it doesn't look like it." She studied it closely then looked up to him raising her eyebrows in question.

"No it's not Pepper-Up Potion, as I gave my entire supply to Poppy and you are too stubborn to go visit… this will work just as well." She opened her mouth in debate and said, "I'm not being stubborn I just…" He folded his arms in his robes and raised an eyebrow at her. She gave him that look where she wanted to roll her eyes but she bit her tongue and didn't argue. "Fine." She uncorked the vial and drank the potion in one gulp. She almost gagged at the taste but made a disgusted face instead. "Gross…" She said getting goose bumps from the lingering taste on her tongue.

Her body started to feel tingly and her head clear so she knew it must have been working. "Thanks." She said handing the vial back to him. He took it and placed it on his desk then he turned back to her. "Feeling better now?" He said. She nodded and added, "But I'm still a little cold." Even though she was sitting right in front of the fireplace. She wasn't really that cold so she didn't know why she said it. She glanced over at him and saw that he was going to sit at his desk, leaving her to sit by her self in front of the fire. It felt awkward so she stood up and his eyes followed her.

"I think I'll just go back to my rooms. I haven't finished my essay yet so…" She looked down at her feet and played with the hems of her sleeves. He eyed her closely, waiting for something to happen. "Thanks for the potion. See you tomorrow… professor." She added quickly then walked to the door. He stood up but remained behind his desk. She had her hand on the handle and he took a few steps to the side of his desk towards her. She stopped and he moved forward one more step. She looked slowly over her shoulder at him and he was giving her the strangest look. Then with out thinking she ran from the door and wrapped her hands around his neck and kissed him deeply.

Before he even realized what she had done she pulled away and looked up at him. Softly she said, "Thanks" once more and then she ran to the door. He saw the last few curls in her hair disappear from sight and then he moved around to the desk and sat down. Rarely could someone surprise him but she did it effortlessly. She never failed to fascinate him and make his chest thump wildly. He rubbed his eyes with his fingers and then took out his wand and waved it at the chair. It moved back in front of his desk and then he stared at it for a long while before he finally went to bed.

A/N: For those of you who might be thinking this is the end… it's not. Don't worry, there is much to learn yet so don't think I would just leave it like this. See you next time! Toodles!


	38. Different Potion, Different Room

I know some of you found Seda to be a little bit too questioning but that was exactly my intention. I wanted to get across the point that Seda is a bit of a worrywart, especially after what happened to her, to the point of annoyance. It will come together in the end but until then enjoy this next chapter. Toodles!

I must give a great big thank you to **Elleke** and **Evil Loverke**! You guyz are truly wonderful and I can't say it enough. Your support and encouragement means so much to me! And to **Juno**, thank you for all the helpful replies!

* * *

Seda found it much easier to sleep that night. When she returned to her rooms she felt like going right to bed, and so she did. She changed into her pajamas, slipped under the covers and floated off onto a cloud that took her to her dreams. It didn't take long for this to happen actually. She found herself so relaxed from the potion that the second she shut her eyes she was in another world.

At first her dreams were just a mist of various thoughts and odd visions but then it became something more. It wasn't like her other dreams where she felt she was being torn away from something and left to die in despair. No, this was something much more whimsical and fantasy like. For a minute she couldn't make out what was happening but then she felt her self being controlled by some unknown force. Something was telling her to think certain thoughts or to do specific things and she had no idea why but she just did as she was told. At first she was asked questions and she answered them honestly without even knowing she was doing so. Then she was asked to do things, to move, to go somewhere and she obeyed.

She was confused. She wasn't sure if she was still dreaming or if she was awake because she found her self getting out of bed and walking towards the door. She saw herself opening it and then she felt her self move into the corridor. Silently she drifted down the hall way then she stopped when she came to the stairs. She felt her self look down the staircase but it was as though she was seeing it either in a haze or from outside her body. It felt like both but she didn't know. Something told her to come down the stairs and she hesitated for a moment. It called her again and she followed the voice. She floated down the steps until she came to the first floor landing and turned to a corridor she had never seen before. It told her to go through and she did.

She had no idea where she was or where she was going but she did as she was told. She found the air to become cooler and the light dimmer. She was becoming frightened of what may happen if she continued this path but something was telling her nothing would harm her. She believed what ever it was and continued down the dark corridor. Soon she came to another landing and she felt her self go down the steps. She followed the stairs until they stopped and brought her to another corridor. Something was leading her to the left and she had no choice but to go on. Everything was still in such a haze that she had no recollection of where she could possibly be. She hesitantly but obediently went along with her thoughts inside her head until she saw her hand in front of her face. It balled into a fist and rapped gently against something hard.

She heard a click of a door opening and then she saw a tall dark figure before her. It wasn't like the floating object she had seen before on the lake but this time something much more solid. Her eyes were shifting upwards until they fell upon a face. Something inside her knew who it was but since she had no control over her body she couldn't communicate with her brain to tell her self who it was. She felt this someone take her hand and lead her over to a bed. It asked her to lie down and she did as she continued to see everything in a haze. She felt her self being asked questions; questions about her dreams and what she was feeling as she lived through them. She was asked questions until she could remember no more. She knew her body was becoming tired and she soon fell asleep, though she didn't remember doing so.

* * *

She awoke with a start as though she had just fell a hundred feet. She was breathing hard but not so hard where she thought her heart would explode. Her eyes blinked open slowly, trying to ease in the surroundings. She rolled over onto her side and when she did she let out a shriek of fright. She had no idea how but sitting next to her was someone she had just kissed goodnight not long ago. She nearly jumped out of her skin at his sudden appearance then she sat up.

"What are you doing here?" She said confused and surprised. Her voice was rough with sleepiness still. She squeezed shut her eyes several times to see if he was really there and when he was she rubbed her eyes with her hands. She opened them blurrily and saw he was still there. She was very confused. She sat up more and continued to stare at him.

"I was just going to ask you the same thing Miss Wood." He said back a little surprised him self. He was sitting in an armchair next to the bed and she just realized he was wearing a long gray nightshirt. She narrowed her eyebrows in question then opened her mouth to reply. "What do you mean _what am I_ doing here? What are you doing in my…" She stopped mid sentence and looked around. "Where am I?" She looked back at him more confused then ever. She was not in her bed or even her own rooms.

She was in a large room covered with bookcases on nearly every wall and great tapestries hung on the others. There was an enormous fireplace in front of her with magnificent paintings above it. She was in a bed, slightly bigger then hers, with mahogany bedposts and rich, luxurious dark green blankets. She looked down to the foot of the bed and saw a black velvet robe then she looked back at him. She had an idea where she was. "Yes, you are in my private bed chambers." He said sounding rather bored by this, not angry.

"But how did I get here? Why am I in your rooms?" She asked quickly trying to figure out how on earth she managed to get there. She looked around again. "Well I suppose the potion I gave you worked in such a way… but I wasn't expecting it to take effect for a few days. I was astounded that it took effect this quickly but I suppose there is reason for it." He said back still not sounding very interested.

Her head snapped back to him. "What potion?" She narrowed her eyes at him. She knew that potion he gave her looked peculiar. He inclined his chin at her slightly. "That potion I gave you was similar to the one you've been taking during the Sleep Aid but this has slightly different effects." He finished looking at her curiously.

"You told me it was like a Pepper-Up Potion. Why didn't you tell me the truth about it? And what exactly did it do to me anyway?" She found herself getting irritated and angry. His gaze became more intense. "It is like a Pepper-Up Potion except it enhances the minds capability to act individually, as in a part from your brain. The mind and the brain are two different things you see. This potion would allow me to question your subconscious mind about the dreams you've been having and gain an understanding of what may be happening to you during these dreams and why the marks appear as they do." She looked at him still puzzled by this.

He went on. "You see, before when you were in the middle of your dream we couldn't question you fully about what was happening because your mind would become confused and cause you more harm. If we tried to ask questions it would scare you and you weren't able to answer because of a mental block your mind set up as a defense from external penetration. With this other potion it allows you to go back on thoughts and feelings you may have forgotten while you were in a deep sleep." He brought his hands up to his face and massaged his temples with his fingers. "But as I said, I was not expecting these effects from the potion to take place so suddenly. I had expected it to begin to penetrate your mind in a few days so I could question you during our next Sleep Aid session… but it has taken place sooner then I thought. When I saw you at my door I knew it was beginning to act upon you very quickly so I questioned you right away."

Her head felt like it was buzzing, He had just told her more then she could really understand at the moment. She closed her eyes again and spoke slowly. "So let me get this straight. You gave me a potion to enhance my minds ability to act freely so you could question my subconscious self but it took effect more quickly then you expected." He answered, "Yes" and then she took a deep breath and opened her eyes. " But why am I down here? How did I get here in the first place? I have never seen this place before nor even know how to get to it. The last thing I remember was falling asleep on my bed then I woke up here. What happened?" She felt like she had a million questions she wanted answers to.

He raised his fingers back to his temples and said, "That is one of the questions I am trying to understand myself." He looked back to her. "I remember laying in bed then suddenly opening the door to find you there. I have no recollection of walking to the door but some how I did. As to how you found my private chambers I am also uncertain. I believe maybe since an essence of myself was included in that potion perhaps a bond formed within our minds… which led you here unknowingly." He seemed like he was in deep thought. "The strange thing is you were still under the influence of the potion all the way until now but I managed to be fully awake when I opened the door." He looked into the corner of the room, concentrating.

"What do you mean?" She said confused again. He was still looking at the corner of the room. "I mean that if we were communicating while we were both a sleep then I shouldn't have woken when I did. I would have continued to stay a sleep until your mind stopped trying to communicate with me. It just doesn't seem right considering the circumstances." He traced his mouth with a long finger and continued to think.

She sat up a little more then thought back on something he just said. "What did you mean when you said there was an essence of yourself in that potion? Why would it need that?" She asked softly. He looked back at her with his eyes and watched her watching him for a moment. "The potion calls for the essence of one that the drinker can trust with their thoughts. Someone they feel can communicate with them with out taking advantage of that trust. And with the essence of that person can the drinker communicate with fully." He finished looking at her slightly hesitant of her reaction.

She wasn't mad but actually fascinated by this. She pulled the sheets up closer to her chest and said, "But how did you know it was… you I would answer to?" She tilted her head to one side and studied him closely, her eyes sparkling in the dimness of the room. He shifted slightly in his chair and moved his fingers along the armrest uncertainly. "I thought that might be obvious considering the event that took place two nights ago. It was then I knew you could trust me in such a way that would allow this potion to work. I of course had not realized this until yesterday." His voice was low but not cold.

She looked at him for a second then turned her head away from him and said, "oh." Her face looked like it was torn between two thoughts. He noticed this strange behavior and questioned her about it. "What is it?" He tried to see her eyes.

She fiddled with the edge of the blanket and spoke softly. "Well, that wasn't why you… why you went through with what we did… is it? I mean… you didn't just… sleep with me to gain the advantage of this potion did you?" She knew this wasn't true but something in the back of her mind was wondering this. She looked back at him slowly with her eyes and found him to be glaring at her in disbelief. She turned towards him fully and said, "Well you didn't did you?" her voice not as soft.

"Of course I didn't sleep with you just to gain the use of this potion. If you heard me properly you will have heard that I said I didn't realize that fact until after we slept together." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Why have you been questioning me so absurdly lately? I told you I would never lie to you or give you reason to not trust me." He hissed at her. Sometimes she was too constantly thinking of her emotional safety then he had patience for. It drove him mad that she could come to such an assumption.

"I didn't really believe you did but I just wanted to make sure. You know, I'm finding it rather hard to trust anyone at the moment. I still don't understand what those dreams mean, I was stripped of my dignity leaving me emotionally scarred and I'm even more confused about what is happening between-" Anger was flushing through out her cheeks but she stopped abruptly.

"Between what?" He said leaning forward in the chair slightly. "Between us you mean?" He said quietly his face softening from a glare to curiosity. He leaned back in the chair and looked at her seriously. "I thought we talked about this already. I told you I also do not know what is happening between us but we will discuss it when it becomes more of a factor." He gave her a look of finality but she obviously didn't think that was enough.

"How do you mean when it becomes more of a factor? Isn't it a factor now? I mean… how can you sit there and tell me what happened wasn't big enough of a situation to not figure out what it means?" She sat up off of her legs and her arm that was holding her up until she had her legs swung over the bed. "Do you mean to tell me that what we did meant nothing to you?" Her eyes were not sparkling anymore but piercing him with daggers of ice.

He also narrowed his eyes. This is not what he had planned to happen. She was taking this the wrong way. "You know perfectly well what I mean. Yes, what we did put us in a situation now where we have to decide what will be best for each of us but never once did I say that I regretted it nor that it was not important at all. Because there was something unique that took place but neither of us can appreciate it fully yet." He stood up from the chair and bore his eyes into hers. "What is it then? Do you want me to tell you I'm in love with you and that I know everything there is to know about love? Is that it? Because honestly I don't know any better then you about what we are feeling or sharing. I can tell you truthfully that I have never loved someone strongly enough to comprehend the full complexities of what you want answers to. So stop asking me what is happening because I can't give you the answers you want to hear!" He finished with color racing to his face and his hands shaking. He looked away from her and walked to the edge of the bed and held the post to keep him standing.

Seda's eyes had widened to their fullest extent and her jaw dropped as far as it could go. Never had she heard him open him self in such a way. He was always so to him self and shut out from the world that she almost didn't believe it was him who was yelling at her about the complexities of love. She hadn't expected him to rant about his level of knowledge on it but she couldn't exactly say she wasn't happy he did… in a way. She shook her head to clear her head and then she spoke quietly. "I didn't mean for you to become so intense about it all. I just wanted to know… never mind." She said almost disgusted. She looked down at the bed again, away from his glare.

He had to breathe heavily to calm him self. He couldn't believe he just said that. It was as though he couldn't even control it. He just let it out. He looked over at her and noticed she was becoming upset again. He walked in front of her and raised her chin with his hand, making her look at his eyes. "I want you to know that I do care about what we did and what ever comes of us will happen. I don't have all the answers. You have to accept that neither of us can say for certain what will come of this. You understand that don't you?" He finished looking deeply into her eyes.

She nodded and her eyes began to sparkle at him once more. He felt her small hands coming up around his arm and soon she had him pulled closer to her. She ran her hands from his arm up to his neck and stared unsure what to do into his face. "I know. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to question it so much. I'm just…" Before she finished the sentence she found her lips being stolen by his mouth. She forgot about whatever it was she was saying and delved in to the kiss. The taste of his lips was so reassuring and she needed that right now. She then pulled away from him catching her breath. He looked at her puzzled why she pulled away as she moved her hands back on to his upper arms. She looked him directly in the eye and said, "Can I stay here tonight?" Her face was so full of innocence that it would have taken a much stronger man then himself to not give in to her seduction.

He should really say no as it wasn't right for a student to be here, but then again he shouldn't have stayed in her rooms that night either. They have already broken the boundaries of teacher and student, but then he reminded himself she wasn't an ordinary student. It was inappropriate what they had done but they couldn't take back what was done either. He was arguing with himself about what to say. It was such a difficult position. They should have never done what they did, but they did, and they shouldn't be here right now as they are, but they are. He gave in to his weakness but he at least tried to talk her out of it. "You should probably go back to your rooms but…"

It was too late. She had already taken his lips in her own and was pulling him on top of her. She spoke in between her breaths, "I'll leave… early… before… anyone… will notice…" He couldn't argue with that and he continued in the kiss she was breaking off to speak. He crawled on to his bed leaning over her and tangled his hands in her hair. She continued to inch backwards onto the center of the bed, wrapping her hands around his neck. He tried to speak again. "We shouldn't be doing this." He whispered into her ear.

She answered back in a whisper pressed into his cheek. "We should have never done what we did… but we did… Severus." The sound of his name coming from her lips made his head buzz like nothing else. To show her how much he enjoyed that he lowered his mouth to her neck and sucked on her sweet fleshy skin until she moaned. She arched her back so that her stomach was pressed against his and the feeling of her made him groan. He wanted to rip off her clothes and taker her again right there but they really shouldn't. After the situation they were just put through about her possibly becoming pregnant he wasn't going to take any more chances.

He lifted his lips and his teeth from her milky skin and looked at her seriously. "I really don't think we should do this again tonight… not after what just happened anyway." He was regretting he said this before he even finished. When she didn't look too disappointed he knew she understood. "You're right… we shouldn't." She said softly looking up at him. She slid her hands from his neck and wrapped them around his shoulders, panting from the slight passion they just had. He rolled off her onto his side, pulling her along with him. They stared at each other for several moments until she got on her knees and tried to crawl out of the bed.

"Where are you going?" He said quietly. She stopped on all fours and looked at him. "I thought we agreed to…" A small smile came to her and she understood exactly. He quickly pulled the covers down slightly and weaved beneath them as she came crawling back towards him. She slipped under the covers too and laid her head on the pillow next to him. This time she lay with her back against his chest but she pressed her self against him as much as possible. For a moment she was very uncomfortable but she realized why. She sat up quickly and looked over her shoulder at him. He stared back wondering why she sat up.

"You won't mind will you?" She said softly and he had no idea what she was talking about. Before he could ask what it was she pulled her shirt off and threw it to the floor, leaving her with a bare chest. His eyes widened slightly but she quickly returned to lay down, her bare back against his chest. She nestled her head in between his shoulder and chin and she found his right arm and pulled it across her side so it draped over her chest. She overlapped her right arm with his and locked her fingers to his hand. She closed her eyes and felt his heart beat against her back and she listened to his soft and deep breathing in her ear. Something was making her feel very secure and she never wanted that feeling to end.

He was amazed at how comfortable she was with him and how comfortable he was with her. The simple feeling of his arm draped over her body, her small fingers wrapped around his hand, her decision to take off her shirt, the way she smelled so wonderfully sweet… all of it fascinated him. Never had someone been this way with him and he was slightly nervous this would be a dream and he would wake up to find it never happened. He stayed awake for a long time listening to her breathing and feeling her body rise and fall with each breath; thinking with his eyes open that this couldn't be real until he realized it was. He finally closed his eyes but rubbed his thumb gently across her hand, making sure part of her was still there.

* * *

The morning had come faster then she thought. She woke to his voice calling her softly in her ear and a gentle kiss on her forehead. She felt his hand rubbing along her bare shoulder, trying to wake her slowly without startling her. She took a deep breath of the fresh morning air and shivered slightly. It was much cooler down in the dungeons then it was in her rooms. When she saw the sun was barely rising she groaned, "What time is it?" as she stretched her arms above her head. She rolled onto her back and let her arms fall above her head, resting on the pillow, the blanket tucked just under her chest.

"It's five-thirty." He said in his velvety smooth voice. It was rather nice to wake up to in the morning she said to herself. When she heard it was only five-thirty she groaned again and covered her eyes with her arms, trying to block out the sunlight coming through a window across from her. "Too early" she said still trying to block out the sun. This amused him and he studied her curiously.

"I know but if anyone sees you down here it will look very suspicious." He said moving her arms apart from her face and kissing her lips softly. "You need to get going soon." He kissed her again. She nodded as he began to run a single finger down her face to her neck and across her chest where it stopped at her belly button. She closed her eyes for a moment at the sensation then she moaned softly. He moved his hand along her bare stomach until it came to rest on her waist. She couldn't take it any more. She turned so quickly that it took him by surprise and suddenly she was sitting on top of his stomach with her knees on either side of his waist. He wrapped his other hand around her waist as she dove into his neck with her teeth, delicate tongue and soft lips. He moaned into her ear and she smiled as she took in the taste of him. He certainly got her to wake up all right.

He moved his hands along the bare skin of her back and molded them to her. Her hair fell onto his chest and it caused the slightest sensation of being tickled. He couldn't lose him self now; he needed to be strong, he wouldn't give in. Even with the ecstasy of her mouth on his neck he had to force him self to stay calm. He moved his hands from her back and snaked them to her stomach, sliding them up to her breasts, causing her to moan. This sent more of a buzz to his head and he had a hard time thinking straight. She pressed her body closer to him, wanting him to feel more of her and continued to nibble on his neck. She soon moved down to his shoulder and continued nipping at him there. She wished she could take off his nightshirt.

He took a deep breath and cleared his mind. They really needed to get going, they couldn't do this now... they shouldn't. He said her name softly, trying to get her attention as he brought himself back to earth. "Miss Wood." He said a little louder but she was ignoring him on purpose. He moved his hands from her breasts and grabbed her by the waist again, finally rolling over so he could get on top of her now. Her eyes were flashing with wildness as he looked at her deeply. He now was the one to lean over her, finally expressing some control that he enjoyed. "We have to get going now." He said panting, his face looming over hers.

She blinked and then answered, "I know." She rested her hands on his shoulders and sighed. "I wish there were no classes today." She said more to her self then to him. He moved a strand of hair from her face and said, "Unfortunately there are and we really need to be going." He pressed his lips into her neck and took one small bite of her then pulled away slowly. Her eyes closed in pleasure but then she felt him move off of her and she opened her eyes. He stood up from the bed and pulled her by the hand to help her out. When she stood he handed her the shirt she threw to the floor and she put it on. It was very cool down here, especially now that she wasn't next to him anymore.

He led her to the door in his sitting room and she paused when she got there. She turned back to him and said, "I don't know how to get back?" He stared at her for a moment and then answered, "Wait here." He went back into the bedroom and returned a minute later fully clothed. She raised an eyebrow at him and he smirked. "I'm not going out in my dressing gown." She put her hands on her hips and gave him a very annoyed look.

"And have you seen what I'm wearing? If you haven't noticed I'm in my pajamas too. And there isn't much to them so you know." She was only wearing a white camisole, very short gray pajama boxers and slippers. He smirked at her again and said, "I noticed." She scrunched her nose at him and he finally took sympathy. He removed his cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Better?" He said in a hiss. She nodded contently and then opened the door.

He looked down the hall both ways and then told her to follow him closely. "It's quite a maze to get to my bed chamber so if you should part from me you may not find your way out." She walked behind him more closely. He led her through hall after hall, around different corners and corridors and through several hidden passages. Finally they emerged in a familiar corridor near the library wing. She looked back amazed and then said to him, "You go through all that just to get out?"

He shook his head. "There are several different routes that lead to various places. All of which come in very handy at times and-" He stopped suddenly and so did she. They both heard a noise and turned around to see what it was. There was nothing there but his eyes continued to search around for anything. He turned back around slowly, still looking over his shoulder. "Let's go" He said and continued down the corridor. He led her up to her door and then turned to her. "It was probably nothing, but I'm going to search anyway on my way back. See you at breakfast." He finished quietly. She nodded and opened her door. Just when she got half way in she said, "oh" and turned back to him. She slipped off his cloak and handed it back to him. He nodded and then disappeared down the hall.

He continued to look around intensely for any sign of the noise but he saw nothing. He tried not to let it get to him and continued down the corridor from where he came. With the corridor being empty once again a mysterious someone slipped out from behind a statue and glanced down the corridor both ways. This person made sure it was unseen and quickly walked to the main staircase, thinking very suspicious thoughts about what it just saw. It thought the scene it just saw looked rather curious and hurried off to think it over with a cup of tea.

* * *

Saturday came very suddenly and Seda found her self in The Three Broomsticks sooner then she expected. She sat waiting for Harry drinking a butterbeer, thinking over what she was going to tell him exactly when he walked through the door with a gust of wind blowing behind him. He looked around and spotted her then came squeezing through the tables to join her. When he reached the table he said hello and say down across from her. It was an awkward silence for a moment but she eased it with a slight smile.

"Thanks for meeting me today Harry." She began and started fiddling her fingers on the table. He looked confused between whether he should be happy or nervous. "Not at all a problem…" he swallowed then finished, "So… what is it you wanted to talk to me about?" He was probably nervous but he was hiding it. He rested his hands on the table but played with the sleeves of his coat.

"Well…" she leaned forward resting her elbows on the table, "I wanted to settle the misunderstandings we've been having, especially this past week." She took a breath and waited for him to say something but when he looked at her confused she continued. "I think I should tell you now before things get too out of hand and you take it the wrong way." He shifted in his chair and continued to stare at her intensely. "Harry… I know there was an attraction between us but I think it started to go off in the wrong direction."

"If you are talking about the day I tried to kiss you then-" She cut him off and said, "That's part of it but what I mean is… I don't know how to say this with out it sounding cruel, all though that is not my intention. I am already falling for someone else Harry. I never meant for things to go further then friends between us anyway. I don't know what I was thinking that day but something happened that shouldn't have. This has nothing to do with the way you acted because this isn't your fault, I want you to know that."

His eyes widened slightly behind his glasses. He looked like he was searching for words. "I'm sorry, but I feel as though this _is_ my fault. If you are upset that I found out about…" he dropped his voice to just above a whisper "what happened then I really do apologize. But I couldn't stand not knowing when I knew something was wrong." He looked as though he couldn't find the right words.

She shook her head slightly and said, "Look Harry, I don't want you to blame yourself for this. I'm sorry you thought there was something starting between us. I felt it slightly at one point too, but then I realized I only thought of you as a friend. What happened to me was beyond my control and I'm afraid I just can't trust the same as I did before. But that had no factor in whether or not I wanted to start anything with you, that was something completely different." She looked down at her hands. "And I think I would have been lying to you anyway if I gave you the idea I saw you more then a friend. I mean first of all we just met and secondly I told you just now, I'm falling for someone else. I believe it started before I even met you so…" she looked up to him "I really am sorry for the impression I gave off."

There was silence again. He shifted in his chair again then ran his hand slowly through his hair then paused and scratched his head. He looked out the window and spoke again slowly. "Well… I can honestly say that I was starting to think of you more then just an acquaintance but… I'm relieved we settled this now before it did get too involved." She looked at him feeling bad but she couldn't control his feelings either. He looked back at her and said, "And I'm sorry about what happened to you, really. I never thought something like that could happen at Hogwarts… I'm sorry." He looked truly sorry about it and she nodded.

"I'll be ok, it's just going to take a long time before I can get over it. Well, I guess I'll never get over it fully but at least I'll learn to accept it better. Right now I'm still very cautious about everything practically but I hope someday I'll trust again." She took a sip from her butterbeer. "Oh, and… I still hope we can remain friends. I know it will seem awkward but we can start over I guess." She shrugged and he smiled softly. "Sure, we'll give it a go." He said. She smiled back and then they sat there for nearly an hour talking about other things. He began to tell her about Quidditch and his job as an Auror and she was fascinated by it. She explained what her life was like growing up in America and how she first noticed her magical abilities. They talked until a clap of thunder in the distance interrupted them.

They both looked outside and saw the rain clouds coming nearer so they paid for their butterbeers and left the pub. They walked towards the gates to Hogwarts and before they reached it he said, "If you don't mind me asking… who… is… who is it that…" He mumbled on. He wasn't looking at her but at his shoes. She tilted her head and said, "Who is it that I'm falling for?" Her voice was very soft.

He looked up and said, "Yeah. I'll understand if you don't want to tell me. I was just curious." He put his hand in his pockets and shrugged. "Well…" She began but a loud clap of thunder echoed through the bitter cold air. They both looked up to the sky and at that moment the rain started to pour down on them. She hunched her shoulders and pulled her hood up over her head and looked back at him. "Well I'd rather not say just now. No one knows yet and I'd really like to keep it that way for awhile… at least until we both can figure out what exactly is going on." She had to talk louder, almost in a yell, as the rain was drowning out her voice.

He shouted back, "That's alright. Maybe I'll see you at the Quidditch game tomorrow?" He said yelling over the rain. She pulled her hood tighter over her head and yelled back, "Yeah, maybe I'll see you there tomorrow. Bye!" He waved to her and she ran up to the gates into Hogwarts. She looked back when she got there and saw him watching her. Then he disappeared into thin air and was gone. She walked quickly up the path towards the castle as the thunder roared again.

As she came nearer to the doors she saw students sprinting inside for shelter but she continued at her own pace, walking quickly but not running. Even though it was nearly freezing outside she still enjoyed walks in the rain. She pulled her hood tighter to her face and continued as the rain pounded down on her harder then before. She knew it would snow soon and she couldn't wait to see the castle surrounded by great mountains of snow.

She walked into the Entrance Hall and realized she had just enough time to take a relaxing bath and change before Hermione arrived. Hermione was coming earlier so they could have dinner together in her rooms before their next Sleep Aid session. There was much she needed to talk over with her and this was the only opportunity she had.

She was just walking up the steps on the second floor when she heard the voice she had been longing for all afternoon. She turned around quickly but because her shoes were still wet the marble was slippery and she slipped. She felt herself falling backwards and she could see the stairs below her but suddenly she was moving in slow motion and then she froze. This must have looked very bizarre because she was half between standing and hitting her head on the floor behind her. The only things she could move were her eyes and she looked around frantically to see what was happening. She saw him coming up behind her with a smirk on his face and then she felt his hands on her back. He pushed her forward and then he muttered something she couldn't hear. She was mobile again so she clutched the banister tightly and turned around slowly this time, trying not to slip.

"You ought to be more careful Miss Wood. If I wasn't there you would have cracked your head open." He said smirking at her. She looked up at him and said, "Yes, but if you weren't there I wouldn't have turned around." She smirked back and he raised an eyebrow. "Very well but be careful next time will you. That's one mess I'd not like to clean up." He looked at her seriously for a moment but then there was the quickest glimmer in his eye and she smiled.

They walked up the remaining steps together and stopped when they got to the landing. "You haven't forgotten about tonight have you?" He said as a raindrop falling down her cheek caught his attention. "No, actually Hermione is coming a bit early so we can have dinner together. Then we'll be down to see you at eight o'clock." He nodded. "I see." He looked back at her as she wiped the dripping rain from her hair off her face. "You have been walking in the rain again." He said looking at her soaking wet body. "No, I was on my way back from Hogsmeade when it began to rain." She said pushing a strand of hair off her face.

"Well you had better dry off soon or you'll catch cold." She nodded as he examined her as if she were sprouting bruises over her body. "I know. In fact I was just on my way for a hot relaxing bath, I'll be fine." She gave him the slightest look of mischief and he raised his eyebrow again slightly and gave the faintest hint of amusement. "Well I'm headed to the library. I'll see you at eight…" He paused. McGonagall just walked past them and gave them the strangest look each. She nodded and said good afternoon then continued down the hall. She looked back at them over her glasses and stared at them curiously then wandered off around the corner out of sight.

They looked back at each other curiously. "What was that about? You don't think she suspects anything do you?" She asked nervously looking up at him. He shook his head and said, "She is always a bit suspicious when it comes to situations like this, especially if it's the Head of Slytherin talking to one of her House. I doubt she knows anything." He said back quietly. He glanced back at the corner then back at the soaking wet girl in front of him. "Anyway, I'll see you at eight o'clock." He nodded and headed off for the library wing. He paused after a few steps and looked back at her. "And watch your step. Don't go slipping about anymore." He smirked then walked off.

She laughed softly at this then continued down the other corridor to her rooms. She thought about that look McGonagall had given them but decided Severus was right. She was probably just being nosy and knew nothing. She shrugged it off and entered her rooms. She turned the taps to hot and turned on several of the bubble and oil taps as well. Minutes later she sunk into the warm depths of the water and enjoyed a long bath, listening to the rain on the window and the thunder rumbling overhead.

She could see the sun setting from the window next to her bath and she was completely mesmerized by the scene. The sky was gray and foggy but the grounds were glimmering with the rain and the reflections of water from the sunset danced across the grounds. The mountains in the back round were like giant mysterious shapes just sitting and waiting for their chance to over take the grounds. The lightening lit up the forest every now and then and the sun was sinking ever lower on the horizon beyond the lake. All of this was still blurred by the rain on the window but it was a remarkable sight none the less. She sunk deeper into the warmth of the water and drifted off into the silent fantasies of her daydreams until she was so relaxed she floated off in clouds of sleep.


	39. Not All Death Eaters Are Cold

Hi all! Well, let me get right to the chapter! _Toodles!_

At six o'clock she knocked on Seda's door. When it opened she found a very relaxed looking Seda, and she walked inside. She walked in several steps then she turned to Seda and opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Apparently she had so much to say she didn't know where to start.

"It's nice to see you too Hermione. Thanks for coming early." Seda said slightly confused at Hermione's behavior, but smiled anyway. She looked at her, waiting for her to say something back and then Hermione's reaction took her by surprise. Hermione suddenly rushed forward and seized Seda by the hands, dragging her to a pair of chairs as she said, "Seda… you must tell me everything!" In a worried yet excited tone as they both plopped onto the armchairs in the sitting room.

"Well…" Seda started, still startled by this sudden eagerness. "What do you want to know? I have so much I want to tell you but I don't know where to start." Seda said starting to smile. Hermione sat back comfortably in the chair and said less aggressively this time, "Well we have two hours so start from the beginning." Her eyes lit up happily.

Seda stared at her almost in disbelief but then she grinned. She also sat back in the chair and rested her arms on the sides. "I guess…" She began to think back… how did it start exactly? "Well… you know who it is… don't you?" Seda began, becoming a little nervous for some reason. Hermione nodded, "I had my suspicions Seda. Remember what I told you before at our last meeting in The Three Broomsticks? It seems I was right, wasn't I?" She smiled softly then motioned for her to go on.

"Yes, I suppose you were. Anyway… well… goodness this is really difficult for me to talk about." She said while putting her hand to her forehead. She took a deep breath and tried to calm her self. Hermione broke in quickly. "Why don't you just tell me how it came to be that you were nearly pregnant?" She urged her on with a mischievous smile. Hermione had certainly changed a bit from her school days.

Seda looked at her and gave her a half smile. "Ok… well… I… well I mean we… erm… I don't know how it happened really, it just… did." She started again. She closed her eyes for a moment then found her courage to go on. "Well it started with an argument really." She said simply. Hermione sighed slightly, "Yes, that's a classic Seda." She said smiling more. Seda almost laughed but continued. "It really started over Harry I guess, partially anyway. I saw Harry on Halloween and we talked for a while. Then… he walked me back up to the castle and…" She paused, the memory coming back. "He almost kissed you." Hermione said plainly. When Seda looked up she added, "He told me about it because he felt so guilty. Please, go on." She urged her again.

"Yes, that. I said it had nothing to do with him and it was just... me. I told him I was sorry for leading him that way and not to worry about me. I suppose he knew something was wrong. I haven't been exactly that trusting you know and I just couldn't believe I was suddenly about to kiss him. Especially when I knew I didn't see him that way. It was someone else I was thinking about but I didn't realize it." Hermione's eyes lit up again.

"So I apologized and ran back to the castle. That night… I needed air so I went for a walk by the lake. Then something happened as I was returning to the castle. Someone grabbed me and I blacked out I suppose. It was Harry actually, but I was so startled that I… well I was being paranoid I guess, I blacked out. He brought me to Snape and I woke up later in his office, in the middle of the night I think." She put her fingers to her head again, rubbing it.

"Yes, Harry came to me that night you know, twice actually. After your first encounter that day he felt so horribly guilty that he came to see Ron and me for some advice. He thought of just sending you a letter, explaining himself, but then he decided to see you in person. He said he saw you walking by the lake and he went to speak with you, but you blacked out apparently. After his conversation with Snape he came back to see me personally. He knew I was running that experiment with Snape on you and he was persistent for answers." She sighed. "It was then that I told him about what happened because he was starting to figure it out anyway, but he didn't know who it was." She looked nervously to Seda. "I know I shouldn't have said anything but I felt I owed him that explanation, as I was hiding so much already." She sighed again.

"It's ok Hermione, I understand you were in a difficult position. I would have probably done the same. I just wish he would have asked me about it first, but I suppose I would have denied it. I have been denying it myself practically and let alone telling anyone else." She also sighed. "But anyway… that night I woke up in Snape's office after another strange dream." Hermione nodded. "And somehow we… well we ended up kissing again shortly." Hermione's eyes widened slightly but she tried to cover it with a quick blink. "But I pulled away from him and left. The next morning something happened during potions class and I… erm… I had detention with him." She nearly blushed.

Hermione leaned forward and said shocked, "You got detention… for what? Usually he deducts house points." She said surprised. Seda shook her head. "No, well I melted my first cauldron ever. He wasn't too happy about it either." She didn't know whether to smile or frown. Hermione spoke again, "Did you really? I thought you were good with potions?" She said surprised again.

"Well actually it was the way he was acting that day, really odd. And he kept making these little side comments. I was getting so worked up about it that I lost concentration and added too much of an ingredient. He was really angry. After class I marched up to him and demanded a make-up, so I wouldn't fail, but he said no. I kept pressing him that it was his fault for goading me but that was a mistake. He gave me detention." She sighed heavily as Hermione's eyes widened again.

"So, I went to the dungeons for detention that night and everything went from bad to worse in a matter of minutes. We had a very interesting argument about Harry and the dream I had. Then I told him I was going home because I didn't want to be here anymore." If it was possible, Hermione's eyes were even wider.

"Well I started packing my stuff in anger and then I fell to the floor crying and…" She looked around, "somehow Dumbledore was standing before me. Well, we talked and I told him I wanted to leave but he said I couldn't because term wasn't officially over. So he convinced me to stay. Then as he left I had another visitor. Well you can only imagine who that would be." She said smiling softly.

Hermione sat back in the chair with amusement. "I can only imagine Seda. So, what happened then?" She was obviously getting very interested in the events soon to take place and Seda laughed softly. Hermione grinned and encouraged her to go on again.

"Well, I was a little short with him. I couldn't help it because I was still so angry with him." She made a face like a growling tiger. "Then we talked civilly for a little while and then…" Seda shook her head. "I had another attack of some sort and I passed out again." Hermione moaned. "Well, I woke up lying on the ground with his face over me, like this close." She motioned a few inches space with her hands. Hermione looked even more amused. "So anyway…" She lowered her hands back to the armrests. "I asked him to stay that night." Hermione leaned forward in her chair again. "What?" She said really shocked. "Did he? Seda… you know that's against the rules… don't you? What if you got caught? What did he say?" She was talking a mile a minute. Seda just stared at her with wide eyes until she calmed down.

Hermione sat back and muttered, "Sorry, go on." Seda smiled but raised her eyebrows at her. She then shifted her eyes so that she was staring out the window behind Hermione. "Anyway… I asked him to stay because I was afraid to be by myself. He seemed to understand so he sat on the chair by the fireplace while I went to sleep." She sighed as if she forgot she was talking to someone, and then she continued. "I was quite surprised really because I thought he would say no, especially after the way things went during my… erm… detention." She stared even more out the window, focusing now on the pattern of stars shining at her. "So I fell asleep but then I woke up sometime in the middle of the night. I saw that he was still sitting there and I was actually in disbelief."

Hermione's eyes widened again but ever so slightly. She was watching Seda's eyes closely. Apparently Seda had forgotten to continue so Hermione urged her on. "And… then what?" Hermione said trying not to sound too eager. Seda came back to her senses and continued. "At first I thought I was still dreaming because everything was so dim and hazy. Then I somehow found myself getting out of bed and walking towards him." Hermione bit her lip and continued watching Seda's eyes. They were staring out that window and not moving. "I walked up behind him and… well I couldn't see him. So I moved around to the front of the chair and noticed he was asleep." Hermione gave a short little chortle of laughter. She had never even pictured what her ex professor might look like when he was sleeping and it amused her greatly.

Seda gave another heavy sigh and went on after she swallowed, twice. "I became so fascinated with the way he looked. I've never seen him so relaxed and it was almost numbing every thought going through my head. And then I don't know what happened but something inside me was taking over my brain. All I could feel was the need to be closer to him…" She raised her hands into the air and pretended to grab something and pull it to her chest. "And before I realized it I was leaning over him. Then I just did it. I kissed him." Her hands dropped from her chest to her sides limply. Then she dropped her eyes from the window to the fireplace.

Hermione seemed to be holding her breath. She finally released it and leaned forward again but this time she was on the edge of her seat. "And then it happened didn't it?" She said quietly not sounding angry but more thrilled then anything. Her eyes were boring right into Seda's face. She looked up from the fireplace slowly and nodded. Hermione's jaw dropped and she let out a shriek of excitement. Seda couldn't help but grin now. And if she knew any better she would say it wasn't the warmth of the fireplace that were making her cheeks flush. She felt the heat rush back into her face and she tried to cover it with her hands.

"Oh Seda… I knew… I just knew it would happen sooner or later!" She said almost breathless. She was also grinning now. She noticed the American girl across from her was burying her face in her hands, trying to cover the rose color swelling in her cheeks. Seda looked up with her eyes peeking out from her fingers and said, "But I thought you would be mad. I thought you were just telling me how wrong it was… and… why are you looking at me like that?" Seda came out from behind her hands completely and edged to end of her seat. Hermione was giving her the smuggest of looks. "What?" She said grinning, trying to figure out what that look on Hermione's face was.

Hermione was chewing tongue, trying ever so hard not to burst out. When Seda gave her a pitiful look she gave in. Hermione leaned over to rest her elbows on her knees and said, "And there's more isn't there?" She was smiling wickedly. At this Seda moaned and covered her face with her hands again. "Ha! You can't get out of this one! Spill it!" Hermione said smiling more then ever.

She was surprised, yes, that a former teacher and one of her new closest friends, a student, had committed such an act but she knew better then to think it too serious. Seda wasn't exactly a normal student in the sense of the word, but she was still a student to some extent. But she was of age, an adult, and it wasn't exactly as though the pair had no feelings for each other. If Hermione didn't know better, she would say the two were destined for each other since the minute they were brought onto the earth. And she had a feeling that a certain Headmaster knew something no one else did. She grinned to her self, exploring the possibilities that awaited her over analyzing mind.

Seda sat back into the chair heavily and dropped her hands onto her lap. She was twiddling her thumbs and thinking of some way to get out of what she was about to confess to her English-blooded friend. With a heavy sigh she went on, the color fading slowly from her cheeks. "Well, he actually stayed the entire night." She found her self to grin after she said that. Then she closed her eyes and pressed her hands onto the sides of her head, almost in disbelief. "Hermione it was the most incredible thing in the world!" She burst out, surprising herself slightly at her urge to scream it out to the world.

"I had no idea how wonderful it could be and now… I wouldn't take it back for anything!" She sat up again and looked at her friend. Her eyes were sparkling with excitement and joy, like a child on Christmas morning. "Goodness… I… don't even know how to explain it! I don't think I've ever felt so safe in my entire life and…" She sighed again and dreamy look came over her face. "He is really wonderful Hermione." She said this not seeing Hermione at all, but looking right through her into nothing but thin air. She breathed heavily now, as if she was running.

"Well…" Hermione puffed up. "I can't imagine what the morning after was like if this is how you reacted to the first time!" Hermione laughed. This brought Seda's attention back onto Hermione. She raised her eyebrows in question. "Oh please Seda." She said waving one of her hands in the air. "I have been there, trust me. There is _always_ a morning after." She dropped her voice to a mere whisper and added, "And it's usually better." She raised her eyebrows and nodded. She knew this was true, it was written all over Seda's rosy red face. She couldn't help but laugh as Seda bit her lip nervously.

"Just tell me something though." Hermione added stifling her giggles. Seda tilted her head to one side wondering what she was going to ask. "Do you think you are in love with him yet?" Hermione said this very simply as if it was the most common question in the world. Seda at first wondered why she would ask this now but then she was curious by her choice of words, 'yet'. Yet? Seda asked her self this time and time again. Was she in love? And every time she answered her self the same thing, 'not yet.' But when someone else was asking her this she found it more difficult to answer.

She wondered about this for a long moment then she squinted her eyes at Hermione and said softly, "I don't know." She slumped back into the chair and looked at Hermione in search of a better answer but she said again, "I don't know" She sounded almost surprised as she was saying it. She and Severus had discussed it but it was different then. She was so happy at that moment just lying next to him that nothing else mattered. Now that she looked back on it she really wondered if…

"Well, it's nothing to worry about Seda. Really." Hermione shook her head as if it was no big deal. "Obviously if there wasn't some kind of feeling radiating between the two of you, you wouldn't have gone through with it." She noted the look of confusion still hovering over Seda's face. "I know it's really common to promise your self you'll never give your self over unless you are truly in love… believe me I had the same problem… but sometimes things just happen for a reason, with out explanation." Hermione leaned over once more and placed her hand on top of Seda's, who was staring blankly at her. "I think when the time comes you'll know for certain you're in love. Until then…" She shrugged playfully. "It's just going to be a lot of passionate sex and a lot of unexpected meetings." Hermione laughed again but Seda barely cracked a smile.

Hermione shook her hand slightly, making her come back to reality. "Oh Seda… believe me… everything is going to be fine. You care about him don't you?" Seda nodded slightly. "And he knows it, I'm sure of it. I've known Snape a lot longer then you and he is a difficult person to read but… something has changed slightly in him. I can tell… and it's a good change." She patted her hand once more before she stood up. Seda's eyes followed as Hermione walked over to the mantle; her dusty mauve colored robes rippling gently around her legs as she moved.

Hermione placed a hand on the mantle and stared at the pictures there. One intrigued her greatly. There was one of Seda when she was much younger sitting with a group of girls in ballet outfits. Seda apparently wasn't looking at the camera like everyone else but her eyes were looking brightly at a tiny spot of light in the upper right corner of the picture. Hermione had seen oddities like these only several times in her life but this one was quite fascinating. At first she thought it looked like a wood fairies orb, commonly found in Northern America and Canada… but then she looked a bit closer. A wood fairies orb was a very faint green color but this little ball of light was a golden spec, glowing like a star.

Hermione picked it up and brought it closer to her face. Her eyes widened suddenly when she thought she figured out what it was but Seda's voice interrupted her thoughts. "Hermione?" Hermione lowered the picture and turned back to Seda. "Do you want to start dinner now? I'm starved." Seda said simply and Hermione nodded.

The next hour they sat by the fireplace in the sitting room eating a wonderful dinner a House-Elf bought up. Seda was quite amused by the little creature, as she had never seen one in the light before. She had seen one only vaguely in the dead of night while walking around the castle. She liked the little elf very much. She had a squeaky voice and she wore a little toga with a Hogwarts crest on it. When Seda asked the little elf her name she shrieked and her eyes went wide. Then Hermione calmed her down a bit and told her they just wanted to be friendly. Finally the little elf told them her name was Elsey before she disappeared in a wisp of smoke.

Hermione laughed while Seda looked somewhat confused. Hermione then explained the ways of a House-Elf and then eventually went into her efforts about S.P.E.W. Seda found it quite interesting but she noted mentally never to bring up S.P.E.W again in front of Hermione. She liked Hermione a lot but she seemed to be a little obsessed with the efforts of trying to make elf rights more publicly known. She just laughed to her self slightly and changed the subject with out her noticing. Some how they managed to get back on topic about certain events between her and Snape. She had begun to blush again.

When it was fifteen minutes to eight they finished the last of their meal and snippets of conversation. "I suppose we should get going then." Seda said sounding a little depressed. Hermione cast her a questioning glance over her shoulder and Seda explained on the way to the dungeons. She wasn't really looking forward to a Sleep Aid session. Every time they became much more intense and she dreaded what she would have to endure this time. She was quite frankly tired of the marks and bruises appearing on her chest and wrists as if she had been brutally attacked minutes before. She sighed when they reached his office door but Hermione gave her a reassuring smile and said, "It will be ok."

Seda nodded but didn't look any less depressed. They knocked and entered. He was, of course, already sitting behind his desk waiting for them. He nodded as each of them came forward towards his desk and sat down. For some reason Seda felt nervous about this session tonight. She didn't know why but she just did. She felt like she was going back to the first session she ever had, the butterflies in her stomach, the nerves of uncertainty, all of it. She looked at him for a moment then sighed very quietly.

"I suppose we should start right away." He said looking at Hermione. She nodded her head to agree and then they both looked over at Seda. "Miss Wood? He said, almost asking her if she was going to follow through. She looked up at him with her eyes and slowly nodded. He stood up and walked around his desk, the two women following him to the sofa. He turned when he reached it and pulled out a vial from his robes. He handed it to her and she took it with a slightly shaking hand. She stared at it then looked at Hermione, almost scared. She had no idea why she was so scared. Well, yes she did know why, but it was more so then the times before.

"I assure you it's the same potion you always take Miss Wood." He said plainly, not sounding irritated at least. She just sighed and nodded. She couldn't believe in the last two hours she had talked practically non-stop about her encounters with the man before her and now she was at a loss for words. She shrugged it off mentally then with out a second thought she uncorked the vial and swallowed the potion in one gulp. She almost immediately felt the effects taking place. Her body went numb for a moment then her head began to swim as if her mind were floating. This hit her a bit faster then usual and before she could even reach the couch to lay down her eyes drooped shut like she was drugged. She was in the middle of taking a step towards the couch and then she fell over. She was already asleep. Barely in time Severus caught her by the waist then laid her gently on the couch.

He stood up and turned to see Hermione's face. Her eyes were wide and her eyebrows rose. "Well that didn't take long did it?" She said not believing it hit her so fast. He considered the reasons as to why this was but nothing sounded very likely. "Yes it did. I imagine its still the effects of the potion I gave her a few days ago." He said this but it didn't sound his usual sure self. He glanced at her over his shoulder and made a note to him self to find out why it affected her so quickly. He turned back towards Hermione and said, "But now we shall see if anything new happens." He walked back towards his desk and sat down. She followed him and took the seat across from him. She watched as he scribbled down a few notes and then she spoke.

"That potion you gave her before… it affected her faster then you expected right?" He nodded as he continued writing, not looking at her. "Do you think it's the same reason as what just happened now? Affecting her so fast I mean." She said going over possibilities in her head. He continued writing as he spoke, still not looking up. "I believe it's the same reason, yes, but I can't say what it is just yet. It could be many things and I would not like to jump to conclusions about it, especially given the state she is in currently." He said simply again, still writing.

Hermione nodded, her mind almost elsewhere. "Also, I was just thinking…" She trailed off losing her self in a thought. "I was thinking about those questions you asked her." She narrowed her eyes, focusing on the empty vial on his desk. "Remember how you said you asked her if someone was there with her?" He continued his writing but answered, "Yes." She continued, "And she said no one was there but something was. Doesn't that sound a bit… odd?" She added. It did sound rather strange actually. "_Something_…" She repeated her self again.

He finally looked up at her and said shortly. "Yes, I recall exactly what she said. Is there a point you are getting at or are you simply blabbering?" His annoyance was getting to him. He hated it when people disturbed as he wrote. It distracted his concentration. She gave him an annoyed look too and went on. "Well yes actually there IS in fact a point. I was just going to say that it's strange she would say 'something' instead of 'someone'. She always said, when she was awake, that some kind of figure was waiting for her. And doesn't it seem strange that she would reach for it, or whatever it is and not know what it is? As in a person or a… thing?" She said quickly and irritably.

He stared at her for a moment then set his quill down. "Yes, I've thought about that too. It is rather unordinary but then again these are not your normal dreams. As I said before, if you paid attention…" He smirked "you will remember I said these are more of an emotional thing then actual dreams." He looked at her for another moment then picked up his quill and continued writing.

She gave a huff of annoyance and spoke again. "I do remember that very well thank you. But then if these are so emotional as you say then why are there marks all over her body? Don't you think she would remember what did it? I've heard of emotional scars before Severus but never ones that leave actual marks and bruises." She said again impatiently.

He looked up at her with a snap of his head. His eyes were narrowed and were glaring into her face. He had never heard her call him Severus before and it surprised him. It took him a moment to answer. He finally laid down his quill again and sat back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling with his arms crossed over his chest. "I suppose it would be more helpful if I told you the entire conversation. I'm sure your brain can soak up at least a little bit more knowledge before it explodes." He said nearly in a hiss with a smirk on his face.

She gave him one of her best death glares. She had actually begun to pick up on his when she got into her seventh year. "I'll just ignore that comment Snape and pretend you weren't acting the arrogant Slytherin Head you are." She hissed back. She saw him give somewhat of a smile. He was actually impressed that she wasn't scared off like she used to be. "But what do you mean the _entire_ conversation?" She spoke once more, actually ignoring his last comment.

"I didn't tell you everything she said because I could hardly explain it in a letter. I was going to inform you tonight if what she says happens. But I should have expected you to over think every piece of information like you always do." He allowed him self to smirk again at the silence he drew then he went on. "No, what I didn't tell you was about a dream she had on Halloween. This time it was similar but very different. It involved quite an unusual image." He glanced over at Hermione seeing if she understood yet. The look on her face told him that was a no.

"That was the same night Potter brought her to me after she passed out by the lake. Apparently she had a dream about being in my office with me advancing on her. And the strangest thing was she said I was hooded and I had no face, but she knew it was me." He was silent for a moment trying to think back on the memory. He remembered how scared she had been and confused that it didn't actually happen. Hermione broke his train of thoughts. "But what does that have to do with the other potion you gave her that allowed you to question her?" She said not understanding.

Her voice was fading in and out as she spoke, but only because he was concentrating hard on the theories coming to him. Something was not adding up he thought. Something was still missing from these dreams and he didn't understand it. Even after he was able to question her just a few nights ago he still couldn't put all the pieces together. All he could see was Seda lying on his bed, nearly in a trance, as he pressed her for questions about her dreams. All he could remember was her blank face, expressionless and unknowing. Even her eyes were lifeless, no sparks of light as usual, just blank and cold. "Professor?"

He shook his head slightly at the sound of her voice. His eyes gently flickered down to rest on Hermione's confused face once more. "What it has to do with the potion is an unusual response she gave. I asked her what this object looked like that she was reaching for and she said…" He could picture her face clearly as the first signs of life came back to her. Something finally flashed beneath her eyes and a look of fright came over her face. "She said something was reaching for her and the closer she became she realized… whatever it is was… faceless." He said this slowly as if he didn't know the words were coming out of his mouth.

Hermione's eyes widened again. "Oh, you don't think… you certainly don't think it's you do you? How could it be?" She said rather skeptically as if this were the most absurd thing she had ever heard. He gave a small shrug and gave her an eerie look. She shook her head. "It can't be you that she's dreaming about, it just can't be." She edged up to the end of her chair and placed her hands on his desk. "Look, you just said it. When she had that dream in your office she _knew_ it was you, even though she couldn't place your face. With these dreams she doesn't even know if it's a person or not."

"I never said it _was _me she's been dreaming about all this time, but it is a bit peculiar." He snapped at her. She narrowed her eyes again. "Yes it's a bit peculiar but answer me this then. After that dream she had on Halloween did she have any marks on her chest? Did she have any scorches on her wrists? Did she pass out like she normally does?" Her temper was getting to her. She refused to believe that it's been Severus she has been dreaming about all this time. That didn't make any sense at all, none what so ever.

Obviously he couldn't answer and he was not about to admit she was right so he kept silent and glared back at her. When she continued to glare back he finally looked away with a scowl on his face. "No. None of the usual symptoms came to her. There, are you satisfied now?" He snapped again. She stared at him as if he was loony. "Hey! You are the one that brought it up anyway and are worrying about it so I was simply reminding you its nearly impossible and unrealistic. You are practically jumping to conclusions here and that is very un-Snape like if you ask me." She said back her voice low and hissing.

If Severus didn't know it was Hermione sitting across from him right now he would have thought it was another one of his prissy, cocky Slytherin students. Her ability to argue back with him amazed him somewhat. Had she ever done that in school she would have earned her self a weeks full of detentions. He didn't exactly enjoy the fact that she felt she was worthy of arguing back but he credited her for her daring. Of course he would never say that. She finally had enough of the arguing and sat back in her chair.

She seemed to calm down a bit now. He was still chewing his tongue as not to explode and hex her to a thousand pieces. As much of a know-it-all she still was he knew he couldn't do this experiment properly with out her so he reminded himself not to curse her. "So what allowed you to make that potion work anyway? I've only heard bits of that particular one. How does it work exactly?" She was curious actually.

He calmed down a bit himself and allowed a few more moments silence before he answered. "The drinker can only be questioned by someone he or she trusts wholeheartedly. There has to be some kind of bond formed for it to work properly." He said simply. He didn't really want to get into the detail of this potion. It could become rather personal. But of course she would see to it that it wasn't he thought annoyed.

"But how do you mean? How will the drinker know if they trust this person? What allows them to react to the potion and the questioner so precisely?" She wondered out loud. She had a lot of questions.

"The drinker can only be questioned when they are in the transitional level of sleep and by a person who has provided an essence of themselves to the potion. The drinker reacts to the memories of the questioner." He said again simply, knowing what she was going to ask soon. Her brain worked too much sometimes he decided.

"What essence? You mean like a hair? But that's similar to a polyjuice potion isn't it? How would that work?" She questioned him again. There were far too many details she didn't know about this potion yet.

"An essence of someone is not always a physical thing." He said quietly, almost a mumble. She was completely lost. He knew she didn't understand. "But… what do you mean by the memories then?" He waited for this to kick into her senses. He watched her silently and then a look came over her as if she was stupid not to realize it. He saw the gears turning in her head and he knew another question was coming.

"So… do you mean… you placed a memory… in the potion? But how is that possible?" She knew that was it but she just couldn't see how it worked. She stared at him harder then ever, trying to find the answer some where on his face.

"I extracted a memory from my mind, just as you would for a Pensieve, and added it to the potion. When she drank it, since it as a psychological potion, the memory would be part of her but from my point of view. If she remembers the memory she will accept it and know I wasn't bluffing. So therefore that certain memory allowed her to understand she could trust me in such a way that this potion calls for." He finished giving her a look as though daring her to make any smart remarks.

This was almost too much for her to believe but she knew it made sense some how. She looked up at him slowly and asked, preparing for him to curse her when she did, "And the memory?" She was waiting for it. She knew she was on dangerous territory but she couldn't help but ask. She had a feeling she already knew the answer and it was ringing in her ears, playing across her mind and lingering in her eyes.

He simply stared at her with no expression what so ever but he looked directly in her eyes. He knew she knew what it was and it was unnecessary for him to actually say it. He didn't know why but he nodded at her, agreeing with what was buzzing in her head and practically on the tip of her tongue. Her eyes flickered with understanding then she looked away from him. He knew she was thinking it; he had no doubts. He just hoped she would have enough sense to keep her blabbering mouth shut for once.

She knew it at that moment. She had suspected it ever since he mentioned the word memory and she was right. She didn't even need to hear him say it. The look in his eyes said enough and he was sincere. She was actually speechless for another one of the rare times in her life. She had sort of known that her old potions master had changed slightly because of something new in his life, but now she really knew it was a solid change. It made her unbalanced for a moment but then when it sunk in she accepted it. She never actually thought that the ex Death Eater could care enough about one person to show that look in his eye. She almost smiled but she didn't. It would look too suspicious and she could feel him watching her.

Instead of looking at him again she glanced over her shoulder at the girl on the couch. She was peaceful for now and Hermione couldn't help but think she deserved it. Though soon enough it was all going to change. And before she could let the visions swell in her head it was starting. She watched in near heartache as the girl slowly began to raise one hand and reach for something, only to be sucked into a world of despair and realize it was nothing. She asked for the strength to witness another psychological death. It was not going to be easy this time... she could sense it.


	40. When the World Begins To Turn

Yes, finally it's here! Chapter 40! WOO! Sorry to keep you all waiting for nearly a month but things are so hectic with college and work it's difficult to find quiet time, or free time for that matter, to sit and type up the next chapter. I jot down notes every so often but it's actually getting down to the actual writing and revising that is time consuming. I am doing my best but please forgive me.

Anyway I guess I did leave you on a rather steep cliff didn't I? Well that's all part of the game my friends, HaHa! Let's just get right to it and stop the chatter (which is started by me of course, oops) Enjoy this next piece and Toodles!

I have added another "short-story-poem-thing" on my main page called **Thoughts on a Frozen Winter Night**… it's from Seda's point of view and it was originally meant for a future chapter but you'll see why I had to post it now. Enjoy it and reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Another side note: The beginning of this chapter is set up in time jumps. It starts off in the present but jumps back in time about an hour then leaps back to the present. You'll see what I mean as you read on. Sorry for the confusion but the way it is written is the best way to explain the events happening.

* * *

The storm raging outside seemed to reflect the madness happening in the dungeons. If the act of the potion taking over her body so quickly were any signs as to why her situation was more intense then they obviously overlooked it. Yes they had the feeling that this night might be a bit worse but they had as much hope that it would be somewhat more subdued also. They had been hoping that maybe since Severus was able to question Seda finally about her dreams then maybe her visit to the dream world would settle down some… but they were wrong. If anything the intensity of her dreams increased at full speed ahead and there was no slowing down, for as far as they could see anyway. This was as much a horror as Hermione ever imagined it to be.

If someone were to enter the Potions Master's office at that very moment they would have witnessed what seemed like a young woman having either multiple seizures at once or one horrible gigantic panic attack. It was hard to tell which aspect of it was worse; the fact that she was screaming at the top of her lungs unknowingly because she was still dreaming, if dreams were what you'd call them, or if it was the sight of her coughing up and choking on her own blood as strange marks burned over the skin on her chest. It was a traumatizing sight indeed to witness but what could it possibly feel like to experience it from your own body, your own mind, your entire being? No one could say but Seda.

* * *

The fog around the lake seemed to clear away faster then it ever had before. As she stood on the edge of the great lake she waited for a solitary voice to call her but nothing announced its presence but the silence of the wind whispering on the wings of a breeze. She was confused. Usually after a moments silence a soft hushing voice crept its way into her mind and called her eerily onto the lake but nothing came. She looked intensely for some kind of figure waiting for her but nothing was there. She moved her head to each side so she could see around her but all there was to be seen was gently wafting clouds and fog creeping away into the distance. She turned her head back to see in front of her, to see what she could see out on the middle of the lake again. Perhaps the figure was still there and if she could just move closer she would know. She had the task set in her mind that she needed to walk out onto the lake but she found herself unable to move. Why couldn't she move? She tried with all her might to move her foot, her hand, anything but nothing happened. She released a cry of frustration and it echoed in the air around her, vibrating off the walls of the mountains and scuttling on the surface of the water, sounding more powerful then she could have thought possible.

So there it was, their first sign of distress coming from the girl on the couch. It had only taken a few minutes for it to start. Hermione realized at the first movement of Seda's hand reaching into the air, for nothing, that it was already beginning. It was only minutes after she looked away from the heartache that a distraught and frustrated cry brought their attention back to the couch. Her hand had fallen limply to the couch but she had forcefully turned her head from side to side as if she was getting away from something or looking for someone. They couldn't tell. The sound of the cry she made seemed to pierce straight through Hermione's heart and she couldn't help but feel some of the pain Seda was enduring. It only continued to get worse.

* * *

As she fought with her body to move it only caused her to become more frustrated with her self. She screamed out in fury, as her body didn't answer her mind's commands. She was beginning to feel tired, worn almost as she continued to struggle. And then the wind around her began to pick up in speed. Soon it was whipping around her like a funnel, pushing her body as if it too was trying to move her. She shivered from the stinging cold it brought on her body and it continued to howl harder and faster until she thought she was going to be blown away into the distance beyond her sight. She let out another cry in pain and fear, angry the figure was not there to guide her, but then it stopped as suddenly as it started. She panted for a moment trying to understand what just happened. Her eyes shifted rigidly, nervously, afraid if she looked in the wrong direction she would see something she didn't want to see. Then she looked out upon the great lake once more and still there was nothing. There was no mysterious figure, no quiet whispers, and no sound, just silence as the wind rustled around her softly again. It was silent, so silent she thought she must be dead because she couldn't even hear her heart beating, even it seemed to be muted.

She continued to breathe heavily, trying to bring herself some proof she was still alive, and then a light coming down from the sky stole her breath. A tiny dewdrop of golden light, no bigger then the palm of her hand, slowly and softly fell towards her like the first snowflake of winter. She watched it breathlessly as it came closer then it stopped before her, just where her eyes fell, at less then an arms reach distance. It was almost too bright to look at but she couldn't look away. It was radiating, shedding its light in beams of glistening gold and producing the warmth of a morning sun. All her thoughts seemed to either disappear or freeze in time because she couldn't manage to think about anything but this glowing light. And then it called her, not in a voice but through her senses. It was moving and she followed it. Slowly one foot stepped in front of the other and she was gliding across the glassy smooth surface of the water, following the lead of this golden light and not knowing where it would take her.

Severus and Hermione had rushed to her side as she let out her piercing cry of frustration. Hermione stared at him wondering what to do but it seemed he didn't know either. Hermione tried to speak to Seda, asking her what was happening but she didn't answer. She continued to move her head as her body began to shake. It was shaking so violently it was as though someone were beating her. She cried out again, in pain or fear, as her body shook more intensely and then she stopped. It happened so suddenly that Hermione's breath caught in her throat and she had to gulp to take in the pressure. Seda's chest rose and fell heavily as if she were running, her breathing loud and ragged. They looked at each other from the corners of their eyes, asking each other silently what the hell that was about. Hermione took a deep breath and looked back at the girl below her, question pouring out her eyes. She wished she could see into Seda's mind, figure out what was causing her this pain.

She reached a hand down to push a strand of hair from Seda's face when her eyes snapped open. Hermione gasped at the sudden reaction and her heart nearly skipped a beat. Seda was looking out straight in front of her, her eyes clouded in a haze as if she were still asleep. She didn't blink, she didn't move and she didn't speak, she simply stared in front of her, eyes wide and full of nothing but blank visions. With the sudden opening of her eyes they didn't notice she had stopped breathing. Only when Severus' hand flew to the inside of his robes did Hermione notice what was wrong.

He had just placed the rim of the vial to Seda's mouth when she let out a long breath she had obviously been holding. It took a moment for the realization to pass and all the while they stared, again, disbelievingly at the other. Not only did the potion take effect faster this time but it was also producing very strange and different results. Never before had Seda opened her eyes, only to stare blankly at something neither Severus nor Hermione could see or even imagine to be.

Hermione's breathing was nearly taking on the same path as Seda's because within those few minutes her heart had raced, stopped, raced and stopped again. She felt slightly dizzy but now was not the time to become befuddled. Seda needed her, someone on the outside, to be confident that everything would turn out all right.

Hermione shook her head slightly, trying to clear her mind of the buzzing swarming around her thoughts. "Are you alright?" Severus asked, not looking at her but still staring at Seda's blank eyes.

"Yes… I'm fine. I just…" She began. "What's going on?" She said in a sudden tone of panic and anger. She turned her head to the left to look at him seriously.

He didn't answer because he had nothing to say except, "It's not over." His voice was in a single, lonely tone absent of any emotion but grief. She lowered her eyebrows in question and then she shakily turned her head back towards Seda. She nearly gasped again at the sight but she tried to control her self. Seda's eyes suddenly widened and then they slowly turned white, as her eyeballs rolled into the back of her head. The sound she gave next was hard to determine. It was either the sound of a struggled moan or a stolen breath. Either way it reminded them too eerily of the rattling breath given off by a Dementor.

* * *

She found herself gliding towards the middle of the lake, following the glowing light and wondering what it was that it was taking her to. She wasn't able to look away to see where she was headed but she knew it was something she needed. Even with the absence of words she could still hear what this light was telling her, yet she didn't understand what it meant. She could hear it, feel it in her very soul but still she couldn't understand it. She followed along in its path of beaming light until it paused. She looked around her as she came to a stop and the only thing she could see, besides the glowing light, was the fog gently creeping in circles near her feet. She looked back scared at the shining light as she began to feel enclosed by the cloudiness overwhelming her presence, but when she turned she only caught a glimpse of the light one last time before it vanished into the night. The sight she saw just before it disappeared left her feeling unsure that her mind was still able to function properly. Within that moments time the blinding light dimmed into a soothing sight as an outline of hand, a single white glowing hand, reaching out from the depths of the glimmering light and beckoning her forward as if it were going to guide her. She had barely squinted to see the form of it better when it radiated again, so bright she had to look away, and then it was gone.

She panted slightly as she slowly looked back to where she was looking not a moment ago. Her eyes widened as yet again another sight came to her. She stood straight, to her full height, and took a step forward towards the gently floating black figure. It was there. She couldn't believe it. It was standing in front of her as it always had before, reaching for her, calling her softly. She took another few steps until she could just barely reach out and touch the figures hand. Extending her fingers nervously she looked up to its face, it was blurry just as it was before; something seemed so familiar about it yet she couldn't place it. She could hardly believe she was standing in its wake when minutes ago she was crying out for it to find her, lost and confused in fear. She knew something about it was easing her but all the same she was still nervous this wasn't real. How could this be real? She didn't understand it. She simply stood there with her hand inches from it and stared questioningly into the blank face of the figure before her.

Her ragged breathing continued for several minutes as they stared nervously, waiting for any more unusual behavior. Both, it seemed, were trying to breath slowly and steadily themselves. They had witnessed this behavior before but it was never so disturbing as it seemed to be now. Her eyes shut with a sudden snap and they glanced at each other quickly in question. "Seda?" Hermione spoke gently. They wondered if the dream was over finally and she had found sleep. Then the all-familiar motion of Seda's hand took its place. They watched quietly and disappointedly as she lifted her hand slowly into the air, reaching again for something that was not there.

* * *

She heard its softly calling voice in her head, urging her to come forward but it made no effort itself to move. She wondered why this was. Why was she always the one to be called forth, to search for it and to be the one to answer the calls. Even though she knew she needed to get there, somehow, she felt disturbed that no matter how long she could search for it would not come to her instead. It stood there silently, except for the soothing thoughts in her head it produced, and waited for her to answer its calls. She stared at it more confused then ever before, wishing it would show its face and reveal to her what it wanted. And then she felt it. The surface beneath her feet gave way and she fell into the icy cold water unprepared. The coldness hit her like a ton of bricks on her chest and the pain it produced was like a thousand knives stabbing every inch of her flesh. She felt herself being pulled into the water as she looked up in fear at the darkness closing in on her. She saw the figure through a small hole of light, shrinking into the distance, watching her be pulled away and never able to return.

She screamed, as loud as she could, for it to help her, to save her, to pull her out of this endless pain. But it did nothing. It simply witnessed as she sank lower and lower into the icy depths of the black oblivion surrounding her. She watched with a breaking heart as the hole to the surface became smaller until it was a mere pin point of light and was gone. She knew she was still screaming, but for what, for nothing. She cried out in disbelief that she was left to endure the eternal life of despair alone. Everything around her was blacker then black; she could not see anything any longer. She didn't even know if she was dead but she wished she were. She pleaded with the darkness to kill her so she could leave the hell she was falling in… but nothing happened. She screamed and cried until she felt the flesh in her throat rip and her voice was left to nothing but a whisper. She gave up hope and let herself sink. She sank further into the darkness and knew wherever she was going she would not come back. She stared around her with blank eyes and let the water fill her lungs. She didn't know if it was her lungs that burst or if it was her heart but nothing mattered any more because she was already numb. Numb with the pain of a broken heart and then she felt nothing. The black oblivion swallowed her into its frozen beyond and she remembered no more.

And so the time came when the scene became truly disturbing. Smalls sobs escaped her mouth that soon turned into fits of mass hysteria and bone chilling screams. They didn't know what was happening to her but all they could do was try and remain sane. Seda's arm fell back to her side as her body began convulsing in jolts like electricity. The echo of the cries ringing around the room stabbed each of them in their hearts. Never had they heard a cry of so much pain and hopelessness. It continued to increase until Hermione pleaded with Snape to put Seda out of her misery. Watching the girl scream as she unconsciously fought against some unknown emotion was building up to more then Hermione could stand to look at any more.

The mark on Seda's chest began to burn through her robes until it singed the material around it. Blood leaked from the bruise and Seda screamed ever louder. Her body thrashed around like she was burning alive and the sobs coming from her chest were becoming mixed with her own blood.

"Seda?" Hermione began in a cracking voice. "Seda!" She yelled as she looked wildly around at Snape. "What do we do?" Her voice was losing her sense of calm. "Damn it Snape! Make this stop or I'll do it myself!" She said standing up from the floor as she whipped out her wand.

"No!" He yelled at her. He placed a hand in front of her wand and looked at her more seriously then before. "If you cast a spell on her now it will cause her to react even more unnaturally." He hissed at her stupidity and she narrowed her eyes at his cruelty to let the girl suffer. Hermione pulled her hand away. "Listen to me!" He yelled once more as he quickly stood up. "She has to pass through this stage before she can fully wake." His voice was trying to remain calm but there was fear behind it. "If you attempt to wake her now she may actually kill herself!" He spat out again, staring into Hermione's eyes with all the truth he possessed.

Hermione's lip trembled and she bit it to make her self stop. "Kill herself? Gods Snape she's already dying! Look at her!" She said pointing at the girl who began spitting up blood and choked on it as she tried to continually cry out. "We have to wake her up now or she's going to bleed to death!" Her voice yelled back as she finally let her real emotions run wild. Tears were building up in her eyes and she whipped her self away from him, to hide the tears falling over her cheek.

Something about seeing Hermione cry enraged him. Not because he was upset with her for showing her emotions but because there was nothing he could do to make the situation better. There was nothing he could do to stop Seda from dying right now as she bled and screamed her self to death. Even if he attempted to wake her he knew she was too far into the dream to recognize reality when it came. She would believe whatever was happening to her in the dream was still taking place and she would end up in a fit of rage and attempt to kill her self.

Severus was starting to feel the emotions swell up in his stomach. To ease them he snatched the empty vial on the table and threw it across the room, where it hit the wall and shattered into hundreds of pieces. He was shaking with anger and frustration. He didn't like it when situations became beyond his control and this was one of them. He turned back to see Hermione looking at him, wiping the tears off her face. He was fuming, nearly growling with madness.

If Hermione was scared to see Snape like this she did her best to hide it because she took a deep breath and said, "Should we get Dumbled-" She stopped mid word. The screams that were coming from the sofa suddenly stopped. They both turned to see Seda motionless and paler then death. Hermione let out a gasp that turned into more of a shriek as she fell to Seda's side. "Oh Merlin! She's not breathing!" She screamed.

Severus' arm came out from behind her and reached for Seda's hand. His eyes widened and he quickly lifted the lids of Seda's eyes. Instead of the usual blank whiteness they were glossy and yellow. Hermione let out another small gasp. "S-s-snape…" She trembled. "She can't be…" She couldn't even allow the rest of the words to be spoken.

"Get Dumbledore. Hurry!" He bellowed. Yellowing in the eyes was never a good sign, no matter the circumstance. Just as yellowing skin announces the presence of liver failure so does the uncommonly seen yellowing of the eyes. Hermione had just pushed herself off the floor and was running over to Snape's fireplace when he said, "Wait" suddenly.

She stopped in her tracks and looked back hastily. Seda began to twitch slightly, almost inhumanly. Hermione stared, praying it was signs of life left. She took a step closer, nervously still. Snape moved a hand slowly down to Seda's that had fallen limply over the side of the couch. He lifted her hand to his chest and held it in his own, curling his fingers around hers and almost trying to squeeze his own life into hers.

Her body continued to twitch, slowly pulsing like an electric shock. Small moans of breath issued from her open mouth as she desperately searched for air. Before her next fit could take place he withdrew a vial, with his other hand, from the inside of his robes and held it out towards Hermione. She looked from Snape to the potion and back to Snape.

"Pour this in her mouth… hurry." He said, his voice lacking the quickened panic he had moments ago. Now it was almost lifeless, low and stretched of any emotions at all.

She walked forward and took it from his hand. She knelt down beside Seda as she uncorked the vial. She raised it above the girl's mouth and tipped it to the side and watched it fall into the back of her bloodstained throat. She dropped the vial to the floor as if her fingers had gone numb, then waited to see if the potion would work.

The room had suddenly gone very silent, except for the low breaths trying to escape Seda's mouth and the thumping of both Hermione's and Snape's hearts. The minutes seemed to pass by like they were an eternity. It seemed to take forever. Both their heads were buzzing and dizzy with previous emotions and now they suddenly seemed drained of any feelings at all. They were worn, pushed to their limit and now they had to wait.

"Miss Wood…" Snape's voice broke the silence softly. "Can you hear me?" He spoke again, his voice just above a whisper. She didn't answer but she was still breathing, which was fortunate. "Miss Wood it's alright to sleep now. Rest." He said again, his voice still low and quiet. He glanced around at Hermione who was staring blankly ahead of her. She was nearly in shock of what was happening, he noticed because it was very uncharacteristic of her to be in such a state. It was slightly unnerving to him.

"She'll be fine. She needs to rest now. If you feel the need to leave then do so." He spoke to her, his voice still low and quiet like before. She turned her head slowly towards him and gave him a very miserable expression. "I can't leave her while she's like this." Her voice cracked out finally. "No… I'll stay with her." He didn't argue with her. In fact he really didn't want Hermione to leave because he didn't know if he could handle sitting there by himself after witnessing what just happened. Hermione turned her head back to Seda and spoke again. "Do you think we should still get Dumbledore?"

He didn't answer right away. He was actually thinking whether or not they should get him. Of course if something else were to happen then he would go to him immediately but everything seemed to be subdued and calm, for now anyway. He didn't particularly want to ask Dumbledore down to see Seda in such a way. The effects and the tolerance this potion, this experiment, was calling for was nearly unbearable and it was almost ridiculous to put someone through it. It wasn't as if it were illegal but he worried what Dumbledore might have to say if he learned of the activities it was putting his new pupil through.

And yet Dumbledore encouraged this somewhat, or so it seemed. Occasionally he had asked Severus the progress of the experiment and if they had come any closer to solving the puzzle that was her dreams. And also on occasion Dumbledore would include his approval to take any means to figure them out, as long of course it didn't bring any permanent harm to his student. He had the feeling Dumbledore was not expressing everything he knew but how often do you not get that feeling when you are around Dumbledore… hardly ever. Severus didn't think too much on it.

"Professor?" He heard Hermione's voice. He came out of his thoughts quickly and said; "I think it would be best if we held off for awhile." He couldn't see it but he knew Hermione gave him a look of question. "Miss Wood has been through enough for tonight and… unless we need to we should leave Dumbledore out of this for now. He has other things to deal with." He didn't know why but it sounded very strange to utter those words. When didn't he want Dumbledore's help and better yet when did he ever want to leave Dumbledore in the dark about something. Of course that's assuming he didn't know already. Severus felt as if his brain was not working.

Hermione hadn't replied but she was eyeing him curiously. "If anything else happens I'll alert him." He said in a more assuring voice. Hermione eyed him once more then looked away from him. They were both silent again for several minutes until Hermione, once more, pushed herself from the floor and stood. She bent over Seda slightly and pulled at the bloody material around her chest.

"Goodness… would you look at this." She whispered. Severus leaned forward slightly and looked at what Hermione was indicating. He raised his eyebrows and then they looked at each other with the same question on the tip of their tongues; what the bloody hell is that?

Apparently the oddly shaped bruise that had appeared before was much more prominent then it ever was. Not only was it dark and bloodstained into an eerie outline over her heart but it was also, strangely enough, glowing ever so faintly. It was almost as though the bruise was cut into her skin and within the tiny cracks of skin where it was cut it was glowing in a sickening matter. It wasn't natural, it wasn't possible, but it was there. Plain and simple and they were staring right at it.

Hermione had conjured some towels and bandages and over the next half hour she cleaned the wound as best she could and bandaged the formerly bleeding area. Severus had been sitting at his desk writing notes about the events that took place that night. He was so intensely absorbed into his writing that he was surprised to hear Hermione's voice coming into tune so quietly.

"Professor… errr professor I think you had better look at this." He looked up to see Hermione standing away from Seda and staring down at something. He moved over quickly to see what was wrong now. Gods they didn't need anything else to go wrong right now, that was the last thing they needed.

He was standing next to her within a few moments and he followed Hermione's nod to the source of trouble. The strange glowing outline they had seen before had managed to eat away the bandages in the places where the outline was. Blood was seeping through the opening, bleeding along the edge of the outline, while the eerie glow radiated from her chest. He moved forward to examine it and when he placed a finger near the oddity he pulled it away extremely fast. "It burned me." He said in disbelief.

He looked over at her and she looked back very confused. He could see the wheels turning in her head but obviously they would just keep turning because neither of them could explain this. She took a deep breath and looked at him seriously. "I think it's time we call Dumbledore." She said sternly and not as a suggestion.

Snape obviously wasn't about to disagree because he walked over to his fireplace, grabbed a handful of floo powder and threw it into the fire. "Dumbledore I need a word with you immediately." He said rigidly and then walked back to Hermione's side.

Not a minute later Dumbledore came out of the grate, brushing the soot from his robes. "Ah Severus, you needed a word?" He said, his eyes twinkling. Severus gave him a most serious look and then Dumbledore glided over rather quickly, his eyes shifting from Severus down to the couch. "Is this the first time this happened?" He said not even bothering to ask _how_ it happened.

"Yes." Severus answered. He thought it odd that Dumbledore didn't question them but he was relieved he didn't have to explain what happened. "The bruise has shown before but never has it glowed Headmaster." Snape added as Dumbledore bent over the glowing bruise. He examined it closely for a few seconds and then he straightened and turned back to face the pair. "This is beyond anyone's healing." He said simply. "But it will heal itself when it is satisfied it has proven its point." He said this as if it were obvious.

Hermione's mouth opened slightly and Severus lowered his eyebrows. "What's _it_?" Severus asked not understanding Dumbledore at all.

Dumbledore simply looked from each of them and said, "Can you think of nothing that could produce such a force? Surely, Severus, I thought you would have realized it." Dumbledore seemed unnaturally calm about this.

"Realize what professor?" Hermione asked before Severus could interrupt. Dumbledore looked at her and his eyes twinkled again. Then he turned back and indicated the mark on Seda's chest with a gesture of his hand. "Her heart." He said simply, again.

Severus took a step forward. "Headmaster, what are you saying?" Whatever Dumbledore was getting at didn't make any sense. The old wizard placed a hand on Seda's head and spoke gently, "It's a warning." He let his hand linger on her head for another moment then he turned back and looked at Severus directly. "And that's a warning you have yet to figure out." His eyes connected to Snape's and spoke to him with out words. Severus nodded eventually and looked away.

Hermione looked from both of them then spoke when it was silent. "Will she be alright professor?" She said this looking at the Headmaster. "What about that bruise? Should we take-" Dumbledore stopped her with a simple look. "She _will_ be alright Hermione. All she needs now is to sleep. It will heal but when I can not say." His voice was still so calm. She couldn't really argue back because she was relieved at least to hear it was nothing fatal. She sighed softly then turned away. She took a few steps forward and sat on the edge of the couch next to Seda. She placed her own hand over Seda's and stared at her sadly. The night was going by so slowly she thought it would never end.

Dumbledore eyed her momentarily then walked towards the door of the office. Severus followed him. It seemed Dumbledore knew what was going through Snape's mind because when he opened the door to leave he looked back at his Potion's Master and smiled softly. "It's going to take time Severus and that is something you can give her." His eyes twinkled in that all familiar way and then he turned around and left.

* * *

There was a stinging coming from somewhere on her chest but she couldn't decide which part exactly. She didn't know if it was a pain coming from the inside or if it was something external. She didn't really bother to find out at the moment. She felt out of place, lost even, like she didn't know where she was yet something felt familiar. She wanted to open her eyes but the heaviness surrounding them was forcing them closed. She didn't even know if it was the heaviness of sleep or some effect of a strong drug and she didn't really care about that at the moment either.

The only thing she seemed to care about was the fact that she was alive. Funny as it sounds she had the strangest feeling she died, or at least that she _was_ dead for a time. She nearly laughed at herself because she knew it wasn't possible. It's simply unheard of; one doesn't die then come back to life. Not only is it impossible but it's unnatural and against the fate of beings. It simply could not be, she was either dead and in denial or she was alive and delusional. She was afraid to find out actually.

With much effort she opened her eyes, slowly and painfully. It took a moment for her to realize where she was because there was a light blinding her vision. For a second she thought it was the golden ball of light she had seen just moments ago but then it simmered down to the natural light beaming in on her from the window. Her eyes shifted in their sockets uneasily as if they were rusty. They widened until they were half open and she could see a bit more clearly the room around her. It was strange because just minutes ago she had taken the potion, which was during the night and now it seemed like it was in the middle of the day. What was going on? She really was delusional, she was sure of it now.

She layed there half asleep trying to understand why nothing was making sense. A small voice in her head was urging her to get up but her body would not allow her to move. It was difficult enough just to open her eyelids. She argued with herself for several minutes contemplating whether or not she should just try and move regardless of the pain it caused or if she should just continue to lie there and wonder why things were the way they were. Even the self-conflicted arguments were wearing her down. She felt so tired but she didn't want to sleep anymore. She felt as if she had been asleep for days even though it had been less then an hour. Or so she thought anyway.

At the very same moment in time, sitting in the Great Hall was the Potion's Master. He hadn't much of an appetite this morning so he was to be found staring blankly at his plate of uneaten food or looking beyond the walls and into the never-ending space that consumed all his thoughts. Ever since Hermione had left early that morning and he was alone with Seda the emotions from last night were coming to him more prominently. He had eased them last night by simply trying to keep her alive but now that she laid down there, nearly helpless and torn he couldn't help but feel some of the pain. Not only was he feeling guilty about her condition but also confused beyond his knowing. Something that was beginning to take place was making him unbalanced. It felt as though the world was turning over and he was the only one left to stop it. The question was could he?


	41. Forbidden Magic

Hello there and welcome back! Sorry, it took longer then I expected to get this chapter done but here it is at your fingertips, eagerly waiting to be read. Yay! Well off you go then and enjoy! Toodles!

**Side note: **I know the scene with her dream in the last chapter was much more intense but that is highly relevant. If any of that "self-torture" disturbed you I am truly sorry. I hope it will not discourage you from further reading and I hope you still enjoyed the meaning of the story anyway. Again, I am sorry for what she is suffering but this is my story and that is what had to happen… to tell the story. Thank you for your cooperation. As always Happy Reading!

Thank you to my new beta, **Liz**, or as I like to call her **"The Purring Stone"**. Errrr don't ask, long story. And another brave soul I'd like to thank is **SammyJo**, for offering to help beta too. Thanks to you both a million times over! Oh and congrats to **DDR** for finally achieving a cookie party! Yay!

* * *

"Ok you are not going insane. Just think a moment." Seda was talking to her self, trying to bring some sense to the situation. She had layed there for nearly ten minutes trying to figure out why she couldn't remember what happened or what did happen in the first place. It was very unusual for her not to remember some vague expression of the dream but this time was completely frustrating her. As hard as she tried she could remember nothing so she continued to lie on the couch, in pain, as she desperately racked her brain.

She hadn't even attempted to sit up yet because the pain throbbing through out her chest was almost unbearable. As a matter of fact her entire body seemed to be extra sore, which was even more odd. She had the greatest temptation to scream out her anger but she was far too weak to even try. She finally gave a heavy sigh and rubbed her head. "This is absurd," she said softly.

* * *

"Severus, are you alright?" 

Pulling out of his thoughts he glanced down at the end of the staff table and noticed several pairs of eyes darting away from him. He lingered on each face for a moment then slowly turned his attention to Lupin, sitting one seat away from him.

"I'm fine Lupin," he said turning his head back to the ceiling. Obviously Lupin knew better then to just pass over this usual yet slightly awkward behavior.

"You seem rather distracted this morning. Anything wrong?" Lupin tried to ask considerately. If he seemed too interested Severus would become annoyed and ignore him or glare which was also his trademark.

"I'm tired Lupin. No need to worry your self in my business." Severus answered, finally rubbing his temple with a long finger and closing his eyes.

"As you wish." Lupin gave a small shrug and returned to his coffee, though glancing out the corner of his eyes. He then turned his head towards McGonagall and raised his eyebrows. She replied with a curt nod and they both glanced over at Severus again.

Severus, who was beginning to sense the strange looks, sighed slightly and then stood from the chair. He narrowed his eyes at the few who watched him curiously. Then abandoning his uneaten food, exited the hall with a swish of his robes.

"Not a moments peace with out someone pestering me." Severus mumbled to himself as he stalked down the corridor toward the dungeons. "Honestly, a wizard can't even think in this bloody school with out being ques-" He stopped abruptly.

There was a squeal and several shuffled footsteps. Apparently Severus was so caught up in his ranting he didn't see the pair of second year girls standing in the hall. Usually students would scramble to get out of his way but since they were talking, with their backs to him, they didn't see him coming.

He glared down at the young girls with annoyance in his eyes as they stumbled backwards away from him. "Don't you two have better things to do then to stand here like statues?" He snapped at them as they stared back completely terrified. The small blonde haired girl bit her lip as she rubbed her shoulder. "Get out of my way before I take fifty House points from the pair of you." He snarled and then they ran away as fast as they could.

"Idiotic Hufflepuffs… always in the way…" He continued to mumble as he descended the stairs. He stalked to his office in a rather sour mood and paused when he reached his destination. He stood at the door and tried to gather his thoughts before he entered. He needed to keep a clear mind when he was in her presence, nothing less would do.

He took a quick breath and entered, hoping to Merlin that everything was as he left it. He didn't really know why things would be out of control but he supposed since last night his mind was somewhat scattered. He found her sleeping and was immediately relieved of the pressure swelling in his chest. He walked over to her and stared, like it was what he was supposed to do, even if he didn't understand it.

He noticed she had moved somewhat. She was now laying on her back with her arms resting on her head, blocking the light from her eyes. It was familiar to see this. Twice he had woken up next to her and witnessed her in this same position. Something about it made him smirk. He didn't know why, it just did. It was amusing he thought.

His eyes shifted from her head down to her chest. The oddly glowing light that was radiating from her chest before had now subdued to a faint outline of a cut, red as if it had been stained with blood. He studied it for a moment then returned his gaze to her head. He took in the way her arms fell gracefully across her face, resting effortlessly with purpose, the way her fingers were so delicately curled into relaxation yet still held a sense of liveliness. The simple things about her he remembered and enjoyed the most.

In the middle of his thoughts she let out a sigh, one that comes when you are ready to wake, the kind of sigh that tells your body to open its eyes and take in the world. It was a simple sound and so calming; innocent and pure like a child's laughter. It was the kind of sound he longed to hear more often, while he watched her sleep beside him in the early hours of the morning. It was beautiful.

What was he thinking? Severus Snape did not think about things like that, but he was. He sneered to himself. Merlin, she didn't even have to do anything but sigh and he was off, lost in thoughts he wished to come more often. How did she do it? How did she come in here, so suddenly to his life and hypnotize him into a world so unlike him? That was the question he had been asking himself over and over for quite some time now, and the answer is the one he strived for more then any other.

Whenever he found himself lost in these blissful thoughts he would just as suddenly become annoyed because those were not the kind of thoughts he wanted, the ones he never knew of nor cared to learn about. It was she; he had to remind himself again. She could so easily infuriate him to his limit with the simplest of things that became far too complicated, but then she could enlighten him just as easily with the same level of simplicity. Then all to soon it would anger him again because he didn't understand it.

"Merlin!" He shouted as he raised his hands to his face. He pressed his fingers over his eyes and tried to rub out the frustration, but it wasn't working. "Why does this have to be so damn aggravating?" He complained to no one in particular but his own self.

"What?" Came her very soft and hoarse voice, so soft it was barely heard. He dropped his hands and looked down at her. She was looking up at him with heavy lidded eyes, confused with the lingering presence of sleep.

"What?" He asked back, narrowing his eyes. She looked at him with the half sleeping gaze. "You… just said… you… why…" She was clearly not fully awake yet. Speech was not something that had decided to wake up yet, making her speak in fragmented mumbles. Her fingers were twitching slightly, as if they were stretching.

"Never mind that." He said sitting in the chair next to her. "I see you've decided to wake finally. How do you feel?" He asked her, forgetting about his previous thoughts.

Her eyes followed him down to the chair. He could tell she was trying to put things in order within her mind. "I… feel…" her hands slid down her face, rubbing the sleep away, "weird…" she managed to say before a yawn took over.

"How so?" He asked her knowing, however, what she meant, while following her hands with his eyes. When she stopped yawning she shifted her eyes lazily around the room. "Why is it light out?" She said ignoring his last question.

He raised his eyebrows at this. "Usually it is light out at eight o'clock in the morning Miss Wood. This may be news to you but I was always aware of that fact." He smirked.

She turned her head towards him and stared at him as if she didn't notice he just insulted her. "It can't be eight o'clock in the morning… are you sure? I must be dreaming still." She said suddenly squeezing her eyes shut and opening them again, as if to prove she was dreaming.

"Believe me, it is eight o'clock in the morning and you are not dreaming." He said becoming curious of her behavior.

"This isn't right… something's not right." She said looking around again. "It's not possible… it's just not… I don't understand." Her eyes traveled back to him, questioning his existence before her.

"What don't you understand? You do know what happened last night don't you Miss Wood?" He stared back at her wondering if this experiment was finally starting to claim her sanity. She was extremely confused about something.

"Last night?" Her eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?" Her voice was still very hoarse and soft yet trying to become clearer. "I've only been asleep for a few minutes." She began to look around the room again. "Where's Hermione?"

What the bloody hell is she on… he was thinking to himself. "No you haven't been asleep for a few minutes. Hermione is gone. She left early this morning. Miss Wood," he leaned in closer to her, "you have been sleeping since last night. You took the potion remember?" She was losing it, he was sure of it.

"What? No… I… this is… gods!" She yelled in frustration. "I remember taking the potion and then… that was it. Wasn't that just a few minutes ago? I didn't even have the dream yet and… why the hell is it light out already?" She began to pant heavily.

Severus watched her for a minute before he spoke again. Something she said seemed to be… "What did you say about the dream?" His voice was low this time with confusion and curiosity.

She looked back. "What? I said… I didn't even have it yet. Why?"

His eyebrows raised to a new high, making his eyes go wide. "What?" He said a bit louder, making her jump slightly.

"I said… have you gone deaf or something? I said it twice already and… why are you looking at me like that?" She said, her own voice getting a bit louder.

"Do you mean to tell me that you don't remember anything?" He said leaning closer to her as if she was fading away.

"Anything about what?" She said looking back just as puzzled as he was.

"You mean you don't know… you don't remember… what caused this?" He said pointing to the mark on her chest. How could she not remember anything?

She looked down suddenly and gave a shriek of horror. "What the hell is that?" she yelled in panic. "Oh my god… what is it doing now?" She tried to sit up with a jolt of energy but she got half way and fell back down against the pillow with a scream of pain.

"Are you alright?" he said grabbing her arm automatically. She contracted into a lump of beaten muscles while she moaned with the sudden surge of pain.

"Yes it just… gods it hurts to move." She answered softly through the moans. He looked at her cautiously for another moment then continued. "You don't remember anything from the dream? Nothing at all?" He questioned her again, not believing she couldn't remember something that might explain her situation. "Nothing." She moaned in pain.

"That mark is like this because last night was the worst your dreams have ever been, or at least the worst we have ever witnessed." His voice seemed to hollow with the memory of it. "For some strange reason that mark upon your chest began to radiate light and protrude blood for quite a while. For a moment we thought…" He stopped suddenly.

She looked at him almost knowing what he was going to say. "Thought what? That I… was… dead?" She waited for his reaction and slowly it began to make sense. Her eyes widened when he said, "yes" and then she gasped. "Oh my…" she started and then she closed her eyes. "I had the strangest feeling that I was… that I was… dead… before I woke up. How can it be… holy shit." She whispered to herself.

He was staring at her as if what he were learning wasn't true. "You don't think I really…" she opened her eyes again and stared at him more desperately then before.

He stood up and glared down at her angrily. "No, it's not possible. There is no such thing as dying then coming back to life minutes later. That is the most preposterous, irrational thing I have ever heard!" He was fuming.

"What are you yelling at me for?" She looked around wildly at him, pushing her self up on her elbow. "You were thinking it too!" She said angrily. "I know it's not possible but I-" She screamed again and collapsed on her side, leaning over the side of the sofa. Horrible shooting pains began pulsing through her body that caused her to gasp for air.

"What's wrong?" He said bending over her, trying to grab her by the arms. She shook her head as she struggled to find air. "I… can't… breathe… my chest… hurts… my legs… body…" She screamed out again with the increase of pain issuing on her body. He managed to roll her onto her back and place a hand on her shoulder to keep her still. He went to reach for something when she grabbed his other hand and squeezed it as tight as she could. He actually thought he could feel his bones crushing beneath her abnormally strong grip but he didn't care.

He stared down at her not knowing what to do. All he could think of doing was making her forget about the pain. With out another thought he took her lips in a forceful kiss. She nearly protested at first but she was too weak to fight it. He could feel her chest beating like a drum beneath his, fighting to get air into her lungs. With every moment he claimed her lips his own air was finding its way down her throat and she took it all in greedily.

Soon enough she began to forget about the pain in her body as her chest began to stop pounding. Slowly she forgot everything else and found her only source of life was through his mouth, which she latched onto more passionately with each second. His steady breaths were lifting her up somewhere she didn't know so she held onto his hand to keep her self from floating away.

When he sensed that she was able to breathe normally he pulled away from her lips. He stared back at her, inches from her face, and waited for something to happen. He was the one who was breathing heavily now as she found air coming into her lungs freely once again. He noticed he was panting and his hand had gone numb from the pressure she was putting on it.

"Are you alright?" He said staring into her eyes. She nodded breathlessly and they continued to stare at one another for several moments. His free hand slid up to her face and caressed her cheek softly, while he pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He looked back at her once more and said, "Are you sure?" She nodded again. She seemed unable to speak but he could hear her loud and clear. Her eyes were an amazing bright aqua then.

"I am going to send for Poppy anyway. I think you need to be looked at." He stroked her cheek again with his thumb as he sat up.

"Oh… no… please. I don't want to move right now, please, it hurts to move." She whispered in a struggled tone, pleading with him.

He moved his fingers over her lips to hush her. "I will _send_ for her. That way you don't have to move. She can give you something to ease the pain." He spoke rather calmly.

She just sighed and nodded in reluctant agreement. He wasn't going to let her win this time, and she was in no mood to fight back anyway, she was too tired and weak. He looked at her for another long second then stood up. As she let go of his hand he realized just how numb it had been because it was now throbbing with pressure. He didn't show it but continued towards the fireplace where he grabbed a handful of floo powder and in the next instant he was gone.

Seda stared blankly at the grate for quite some time before she closed her eyes. It hadn't even felt like a second has passed because the next moment Madame Pomfrey was standing over her and asking questions. It felt as if she were in a haze again because everything around her was blurry and moving much too fast for her brain to process. All she remembered then was staring up into his eyes wishing she could feel his breath again.

* * *

It was quite obvious that Madame Pomfrey would order Seda to stay in bed, or at least go easy, for the remainder of the day. Which meant that she missed the first Quidditch match of the season and her first chance to see the game. She was bummed no doubt but she was thankful she wasn't required to move around that day. 

She spent the day in her rooms, by herself, trying to concentrate on the work before her. She wished that Severus could keep her company but he was required to be in attendance at the match. It was Ravenclaw versus Slytherin so it was adamant. She was slightly uplifted when Hermione sent an owl to see how she was doing. Seda replied that she was very sore and tired but other then that she was doing ok.

On return from the match Severus made a quick appearance in her rooms and mentioned that a certain Potter was looking for her. Seda moaned because she forgot she told Harry she might meet him there. There was nothing she could do though. This was not her fault. She made a mental note to send him an owl also. The rest of the day went by slowly, almost too slowly. That night after she sent Aura off with her letter the room suddenly became less cheerful and more alone. She tried to think away from it.

Breakfast Monday morning was quite uneasy for her. Having been absent from meals the last two days several of the staff seemed to be quite interested where she was all the while. Of course a few of them knew she was ill only slightly but that didn't seem to be a good enough reason for them, or so it seemed. She was in her regular place between Severus and Lupin but the atmosphere around her was becoming more intense by the moment. It wasn't anything to verbal or noticeable but just the curious stares and glances she received. Those were making feel as if she was doing something wrong.

She gave Severus a pitiful look as she left for her first class and he made no obvious looks of understanding, but she knew what he was thinking. On her way to the aisle McGonagall gave her a curious look over her glasses that made Seda turn around and hurry away to her class. Concentration was not her friend during lessons that day.

The following two weeks were nearly the same in anticipation. Though the curiosity had calmed down a bit Seda was still on her guard at all times. There was just that feeling surging through her that something was not right. It was now the week of Thanksgiving and Seda had forgotten that British people do not celebrate it. Her parents had written her the weekend before, asking if she would please come home, even is she couldn't come on Thursday but at least spend Friday and Saturday eating leftovers. This is what brought Seda to see her Head of House on Monday evening. She needed permission to go home.

"Come in." Came the brisk voice of McGonagall. Seda entered not really sure why she was so nervous.

"Good evening, Professor." She said politely, trying to smile at least.

"Miss Wood," she said slightly surprised, then her face dropped to that of curiosity, "Anything wrong?" McGonagall eyed her carefully.

Seda shook her head, taken back by McGonagall's faint expression. "No, I…" she cleared her throat, "I just needed to discuss something with you." Seda finished, taking a heavy breath.

McGonagall nodded and gestured her to sit down. Seda sat down and folded her hands in her lap, as if she was in grade school and waiting to hear her punishment for wrongdoing. She swallowed again and waited for the older woman to speak.

"Now, what is it you'd like to discuss?" McGonagall said, looking over her spectacles suspiciously. Something was turning inside that brain but Seda couldn't see what.

"Um… I don't know if you know but… in America we celebrate Thanksgiving and… it's coming up this Thursday." McGonagall nodded. Seda continued. "My parents sent me a letter yesterday, asking me if I could come home for the weekend and… I don't know what to tell them." She finished looking up nervously at McGonagall.

The older witch took a moment to answer. She looked up at the ceiling and then down to Seda. "I suppose you are wondering if you can leave school or not, is that right?" Seda nodded. "Well naturally you should spend the holiday with your family but according to school rules you are not supposed to leave unless it is an emergency or is otherwise a permitted school holiday." McGonagall's words were brisk and to the point, just as usual. Seda was expecting this but she continued to stare at her, a sense of loss playing in her mind.

McGonagall paused for a moment. Something in her expression changed from the curiosity it held before. She sighed and went on. "But I do not see why you shouldn't be able to leave school on Friday evening as long as you are back by Sunday night." She gave a slight smile.

Seda's eyes lit up suddenly. "Oh that would be fine, Professor, thank you." She couldn't help but give a wide smile.

"Of course we will need to see the Headmaster to arrange transportation." McGonagall added and Seda nodded. "Well follow me then." She said as she stood and led Seda out of the office. Half an hour later Seda returned to her rooms, feeling happier then she had in weeks. It was all settled then. She was going home for the weekend, to see her parents who she hadn't seen in three months. She was used to not seeing them for months at a time, since she was away at college for the last two years. Yet something about being over the ocean and in a world know one knew of unless they knew of it made it seem like she was even further away. She sighed. She missed them and couldn't wait to go home.

* * *

Friday evening came and Seda was in her rooms packing a last few items she wanted to bring. Of course this included books and homework, as she needed to get most of it done before she came back to Hogwarts. With a last look at her belongings she zipped up her bag and made her way to the Headmaster's office. She was startled when she approached the stone gargoyles. "Leaving already?" Came the familiar voice of the Potions Master. 

She turned to him with a smile on her face. He was coming from around the corner in the opposite corridor. "Yes. I leave in a few minutes. Remember Professor?" He eyed her as if she was being cheek with him.

It was strange she thought, they had that encounter, if that is what you call it, a few weeks ago and since then they had barely done anything remotely close to it. She wasn't complaining really, it was just odd. They had the random kiss maybe twice in the last two and a half weeks but still she was ok with it. They both knew they had to be careful about interactions with the other but it still seemed so odd. She didn't consider them _together_ in the usual sense because _together_ is not what they were. They were not dating, they were certainly not married and they were most definitely not forced together by a child. Yet they felt somewhat tied to the other, even though it wasn't always expressed.

He fascinated her still and he was fascinated with her as well, at least she thought any way, but they could not act upon it openly because they were still teacher and pupil. Of course they broke the boundary a long time ago but they still were being as professional about it as possible. She didn't sneak off to his office in the middle of the night, she didn't flirt with him during class or meals and she did not think of him any differently then she had before. No, he was still her teacher and she tried to keep it that way. They were much too busy anyway to go sneaking around. Besides, Seda was not the type to be secretive and untrustworthy in such a way and she knew Severus prized on his authority more then anything. They could not risk anything.

For now it would just have to be as nothing happened between them. They were just teacher and pupil, nothing else. Or friends possibly, but she didn't want to push that. She was content with the way things were, even if she had a burning desire growing hungrier in her stomach each day.

He walked up in front of her and smirked. "Yes, I do remember clearly your mentioning of this particular weekend. I have not lost my memory just yet Miss Wood." He let his words linger for another moment and she wasn't sure to smile or not. "I did not, however, know you were leaving quite this early." His expression returned to a subtle glare, taking over the happy thoughts in her head.

"Well…"she blinked, "I thought you would have known that I'd leave as soon as possible. I mean, the holiday was yesterday after all so…" she stopped. He raised an eyebrow at her and then she sighed. "Well I have to get upstairs. I guess I'll see you on Monday then. Bye Professor." Before she even realized what she was doing she stretched out her arm and extended her hand.

Severus looked down, amused, and then returned his eyes onto hers. If it was possible, or maybe she was just seeing things, it looked for a moment that he was almost going to laugh. He didn't though. He just smirked again and reached out his own hand and took hers in a firm grip. She felt so stupid, which caused her to forget what to do, but luckily he shook hands first and she didn't have to. Then he pulled his hand away and said, "See you when you get back," and disappeared around the corner again, looking slightly disappointed about something.

"Idiot" she screamed inside her head then turned to the gargoyles and spoke the password. There she ascended to the Headmaster's office and took her portkey home. She came hurtling out of the air into the all-familiar living room of her house in New Hampshire, an ocean away from Hogwarts. She looked up and saw the smiling faces of her parents as they rushed over to greet her. They pulled her into a hug and then they settled down later for their delayed Thanksgiving feast.

They talked about many things and Seda was beside her self with happiness. She was always happy to read their letters but it was not the same as seeing them in person. There was so much more of a connection when you were physically talking to a person, being able to make eye contact and best of all hear their voice. It was then that Seda felt like she was in a daze the remainder of the weekend. She was happy, yes, but something was missing and she didn't know what. Maybe that was the reason she woke up in the middle of the night that weekend after experiencing flashes of her strange dream.

She did her best to ignore it because she didn't want her parents to feel any sort of guilt about wanting her home for the weekend. All parents are selfish in a way when it comes to their children. It's because their child is the most precious possession and they would do anything in the world to protect it. She did feel guilty about something though, like there was something she needed to protect and couldn't figure out what it was. Again she ignored the feeling and continued in the normal activities she usually enjoyed on the holidays; playing games, putting up the Christmas tree and the decorations, sitting around watching old movie classics and eating left overs until she thought she would burst. This brought a sense of humbleness back to her yet there was still an unrecognizable emotion filling her heart and it was getting harder to ignore.

* * *

On Sunday evening, at seven o'clock, she said her good byes to her parents and waited for the portkey to activate. She stood in the living room once more, holding all her belongings and a framed photo of her and her family from years ago. At seven after seven the frame began to glow and with a last smile at her parents she was pulled back into the world where she truly belonged. She looked up and this time found she was standing in the Headmaster's office once more. He asked her if she had a good trip and she replied politely that she did. She then excused her self to her rooms, admitting that she had homework to do still. 

When she got to her rooms she unpacked her things and sat a table in front of the fireplace and did her homework. She tried to concentrate as best she could but at ten o'clock she couldn't handle the loud thumping in her head anymore. She snapped the book closed and took off into the dark corridor, her feet leading her to a very familiar place. She knocked on the door and listened for a voice or any sound at all. For a moment she was disappointed and pressed her ear closer to the door but then she was startled, just like the night she left for home.

"Shouldn't you be in bed Miss Wood?" She turned around quickly and was face to face with the Potions Master. He had spoken quietly into her ear and that had startled her.

She remained where she was and said, "I couldn't sleep."

"I can see that." He said. They looked at each other for a moment, the silence somewhat awkward and then he said, "And I suppose affixing your ear to my office door is going to help?" He said in his usual sarcastic tone.

She took another breath and still didn't move away. She kind of liked being this close to him. It felt familiar. She simply looked up at him and didn't say another word. She wanted to say she couldn't wait until tomorrow to see him but that sounded so cheesy and utterly pathetic, not to mention desperate. She was above such standards, even if she was a sucker for hopeless romantics in any sense.

He gave her an amused expression and tilted his head slightly to the side then, as if he could hear what she was thinking. She prayed to the heavens that she was not turning red. She could feel the heat in her face but she hoped he wouldn't notice with the dimly lit torches on the wall. Why was he staring at her like that? She wished she could hide.

He spoke again. "I can offer you…" her mind began to race of in a dozen directions at that statement, "… sleeping potion if you like." Or more she thought wickedly. She nearly gasped at what she just thought. She prayed again that she did not say that out loud. If she felt heat before it was nothing like it was now.

She was so busy talking with her head that she hardly noticed him opening the door to his office and moving inside. She followed behind him and deliberately kept her head down or behind the sleeve of her robe. She faced the opposite wall as he retrieved the particular potion from a shelf and tried to take deep breaths to relieve the burning heat in her face. He returned in front of her and handed her the potion. She tried to cover her face discreetly but he realized she was acting odd.

"Is something wrong with your face Miss Wood or are you just shy?" He said in his dry sarcastic tone. She shook her head and turned away from him, trying very hard not to scream out loud with frustration. Severus narrowed his eyes at this. She was acting very peculiar he told himself.

"If something is wrong then I suggest you just come out with it, instead of trying to hide from me." His voice was a bit more demanding now. Just as it always was when he became anxious.

She shook her head again and said, "Nothing is wrong," while she tried to move towards the door. He blocked her in one quick movement. She felt her back hit his chest and she paused. She closed her eyes and told herself it was a bad idea to make this visit.

"Miss Wood, either you are going to tell me what's wrong or I am going to make you." He said with his voice becoming more intense.

"It's nothing, honestly." She said as she tried to move around him again but he caught her by the arms and said, "not good enough" and turned her around to face him.

He looked down at her rosy red and pink cheeks and said, "Why are you so flushed?" She couldn't say why but she just looked up at him slowly, feeling her heart beat faster as she did. His eyes made contact with hers and then he stared at her puzzled. Even if he could read her mind at that moment he would not understand what she meant, because a million words were flying around her head and wouldn't stop.

"Can I go now?" She said simply and in defeat. She felt embarrassed about letting him see her blush and tried to pull away from him.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong." He said strictly. He obviously thought it was something serious. As intelligent as he was he could not comprehend what raced through a young woman's mind as she stood before a man that she… well, cared about.

"Nothing is wrong! Seriously!" She said loudly as she finally freed her wrists from his hands. She stepped back and stared at him, panting slightly. "I just can't sleep ok? Does there have to be a reason? My life doesn't revolve around that dream you know. I'm not some weak little girl who can't fight off emotions taking over her and can't handle the pressure of feeling scared once in awhile." She finished wildly, panting heavier.

"For Merlin's sake, she is such a Gryffindor!" He thought irrationally inside his head. He kept his exterior calm and stared back at her, not revealing what he really thought. Perhaps if he stared at her long enough she would crack and confess. That usually worked for him, especially with her.

She shifted her weight to one foot and placed her hands on her hips, clutching the potion still in one hand. She looked very mighty just then, standing there like that, her chest heaving noticeably. Then her face fell softly into defeat. "Fine, "she threw her hands up, "you want to know why I came down here? Why my cheeks are flushed? Why I can hardly look at you right now and why I'm finding it very hard to speak at the moment?" Her voice became lower and softer with each word she spoke, finally making her gulp.

It worked, he thought. He stayed silent, waiting for the confession now and not wanting to make her back out. He crossed his arms inside his robes and continued to stare at her.

"I came down here because…" she looked at him intensely, "I didn't know how to make my head stop spinning and…" she swallowed, "my heart stop pounding." That sounded so lame and she knew it but how else was she to describe it? Who knows?

"And why was your head spinning and your heart pounding? Was it another dream?" He said this but didn't believe that was why. It was starting to dawn on him why she was acting the way she was. Men were so slow sometimes with these things.

"No." She said breathlessly. "It was because… I couldn't stop…" oh it was now or never she told her self, "thinking about you." She finished with the ultimate cheesy line. She wanted to hit her self at that moment.

"Oh?" Severus said, not sure what to think. "And why were you thinking about me?" His voice was taking on that velvety smooth richness that made her crumble all over herself.

"I don't know why exactly. I just…" He took a step toward her so that they were touching. She now had to look up to see him fully. She felt her cheeks flush with heat again but this time she couldn't look away from him. She swallowed again, finding it hard to do so.

He lowered his arms and with one hand he grabbed her waist. With the other he took the potion from her hand and said, "I don't think you'll be needing this," and tucked it neatly inside his robes. She let out a quivering breath and watched him intently. "Now are you going to tell me why you were thinking about me or will I have to force you?" He said as he slowly lowered his head to her neck and moved his hand to the other side of her waist. "I'm waiting Miss Wood." He kissed her softly below the ear.

She had to swallow again to compose herself. "I really…" he kissed her neck again, "don't know why I was thinking… about you." She took in a huge breath of air at that moment. That chilling sensation was creeping its way up her legs again.

"That's still not good enough." He said then began biting her gently under her ear. One of his hands snaked its way up her arm and came to wrap around her neck so delicately she hardly felt it.

"I know but…" he bit a little harder and she moaned, "but I don't know what to tell you. I can't think properly." She said nearly whining need.

He stopped biting her neck and looked up at her with dark eyes full of some forbidden magic. "Can you think properly now?" He said challenging her practically. He knew the absence of his mouth on her skin would make her go insane with want.

She clenched her fists tightly and closed her eyes momentarily while she said, "I think I need more forceful tactics, Professor." She opened her eyes and couldn't believe she just let that slip out of her mouth. She looked up at him fearful of what he would do then and stared like a child who just got caught stealing from the cookie jar.

To her surprise he raised his eyebrows at this and gave her a most satisfactory look. The Slytherin serpent in him was beginning to stir and wicked images were coming to mind after she said this. There was no way he just heard what he thought he did. He was imagining things but then again he knew all too well that his hearing was as good as ever and his mind was completely balanced. "Indeed" was all he said and lowered his mouth back to the sensitive flesh below her ear.

This time he bit down harder. Nearly to the point where it didn't feel good anymore and she thought he would draw blood but he eased when she let out a soft shriek. He continued to suck on it gently until she moaned, "harder" and he looked up again. This time with a most pleased smirk on his face. "Well, well, Miss Wood. I believe I have brought out the darker side of your mind." He finished practically hissing seductively into her ear. She could not stay under control much longer.

When he lowered his mouth back to the same spot and began to suck on the skin harder then before she let out a much louder moan that encouraged him to keep going. He began to move his hand from her waist and for a moment she thought he was going to grab her arm or something but she was surprised when he smoothly reached inside his robes and pulled out his wand. He pointed it at the door and muttered "Silencio" and then he returned it to his robes.

She looked at him with a grin on her face. "What's that for?" She asked curiously but knew all to well what for indeed.

"Your moans will not go unheard if we continue like this." He hissed into her ear and she shivered.

"Continue like what?" She said as more of a tease then anything. She wasn't naïve. She was just playing to raise the temperature in the room.

He let out a sound then that reminded her of a very low, rumbling growl and she couldn't help but smile more. She raised her own hands to his arms and tried to hold on to him. She felt like she was getting swept away from the earth. He continued to suck on her flesh more and more until it was so sensitive she actually flinched when he kissed it.

"I'm not nearly done with you yet." He said smoothly as he pulled her into his chest. She nodded. The serpent was really beginning to rise and it was hardly under control now. It needed to be released in its sneaky and secretive ways that would leave her head really spinning. She obeyed him now and he was grinning on the inside.

He moved his hands up the sides of her body as he kissed her neck and began to walk forward. Wherever he was leading her she was sure to follow. He moved them all the way over to his desk and stopped when she was backed into it. This was the perfect position for him now. He leaned into her and all she could do was lay back on the desk now that she was pinned. He took her lips passionately and she didn't object. While he kissed her senseless he moves his hands to the bottom of her shirt and pulled it off, parting from her mouth for only a moment.

There he reached around to her back and unclasped the bra that kept her somewhat covered. With it gone he moved his mouth slowly down her chin and her neck, sucking every so often as he went. Then he continued to move down to her chest where he kissed one breast and then began to gently bite down on her nipple. She let out another shriek and soon it turned into a moan. Before she even knew it she was lying completely flat on the desk and wrapping her legs around his waist.

She could have sworn she was about to have an orgasm from the sensation on her breast but he deprived her of that fact by continuing the kiss down her stomach. He stopped when he reached the top of her jeans and looked up at her. Her eyes were closed so she did not see his mischievous expression. "You asked for forceful tactics, Miss Wood." He said softly as she fell into a state of ecstasy. He was going to enjoy watching her witness his forbidden magic.

**A/N**: _Me "heart" you Kidd!_


	42. Curtains of White

Hey all! I know I was long over due with that last chapter but I tried my best to get it done as quickly as possible. Well there isn't much to say now so let me get right to it. I hope you like it. Enjoy and Toodles!

* * *

Sunday night was one of the rare nights that Seda actually slept well. He was definitely right when he said she wouldn't need that sleep enhancer any longer. From what she thought before she could have convinced her self that she had witnessed some type of his forbidden magic, per se, but that was nothing to what she experienced last night. Yes, the first time was magical in a beautiful way but something that came over him this time turned her thoughts into wild fantasies. Something inside her was urging to break free and whatever it was he encouraged it.

It was ironic; of course, the following day was Monday, which meant that both of them had to wake up early for classes. It was one of those mornings when you wanted to stay curled up in bed because part of you was still hoping that the sensations from the night before would linger. She returned to her own rooms late in the night because she couldn't risk what could happen in the morning if they stayed together, again. So it was with a heavy sigh that she dragged her self from her own bed and to the shower at six in the morning.

The day carried out as usual; classes, meals and studying all the while acting as if nothing happened the night before. They continued to remain casual with the other and strived to maintain a teacher-pupil atmosphere. It was difficult when an aura of lust was heating up the room every time they came within twenty feet of the other. Yet they still composed themselves and went on with their lives in an orderly manner.

The level of anxiety was subdued around the school until an announcement during dinner Wednesday night stirred things up a bit. It was rare for the Headmaster to stand before dinner but when he did the school knew that something was going on.

"As some of you may know it is now the first of December and the holidays are closing in among us. It is my duty to remind you all that you inform your Head of House about your plans for the holidays before they arrive." He paused and gave a slight smile.

"It is also my duty to inform you all about the annual _Future of the Wizarding World Convention_ or otherwise known as the FWWC, which will take place on the twenty-third of December." There was a murmur of excitement and chitchat spreading across the hall.

"It is a privilege to be invited to such an honorary event and all those who are of age are encouraged to attend. There you will see demonstrations on various areas of magic and how it is used in ones career. Many of the finest witches and wizards through out the international wizarding world will be recognized for their achievements and honored for their contributions in our world. It is also with my greatest pleasure to announce that a member of our party will be recognized." He paused again and waited for the random chattering to die down before he continued.

"If you wish to know who then I highly recommend you to attend and learn for your self. Or," he smiled, "wait until after the convention and hear from older ears of whom this person is. You will find notices on the House bulletin boards about the details of this event and those of you who are of age will receive an invitation shortly by owl post. With that said let us begin our dinner." There he extended his arms and the dinner, which was usually already laid out on the table, appeared.

After Dumbledore sat down an eruption of talking and clattering of plates filled the hall. Seda turned to Lupin and spoke excitedly. She wondered if she would be invited.

"Have you ever been to this convention before, Professor?"

"Yes, I have actually. Years ago I must add. I haven't attended in nearly a decade and it would be nice to experience it again." He said happily.

"Oh. Well… what sort of convention is it? I mean is it like a banquet sort of thing or just a small ceremony? How many people usually attend?" She had so many questions she couldn't calm down.

"Well I suppose it is similar to a banquet but very formal. There are usually tens of thousands of wizards and from all over the world mind you. About a dozen or so witches and wizards are nominated for their achievements and chosen to receive the FWWC award. It is quite a notable award really. Hundreds of wizards around the world have earned their rights to be recognized and only a few every year will be picked. It's rather an eventful night. You should really attend if you can."

Seda's eyes were going wider by the minute. "So it's a huge event then I take it. This is really amazing. What kinds of demonstrations are there? You said its formal so is it just lectures and things or actually practical demonstrations?"

"Well first there is the usual dinner and sometime into the feast the ceremony takes place. That's when the recipients of the awards are recognized and each one gives a speech of some sort and then gives a demonstration relating to their achievement." Seda nodded her head and then Lupin laughed slightly.

"I remember one year I attended a wizard was awarded for his contributions to the domestication of some new breed in the magical creatures department and he, "Lupin shook his head and laughed softly, "he brought in a herd of the somewhat trained wild beasts and apparently they were too excited by the number of wizards present to stay under control. They ended up rampaging throughout the hall and managed to destroy the place before they could be removed. Of course the beasts refused to be removed because they were too proud to be ushered away and attacked the trainers and poor blokes who attempted to remove them. One witch had her clothes disintegrated." He laughed again.

"Oh but… that's not really a good thing is it? I mean they were supposed to be domesticated, weren't they?" She didn't know if she should laugh or not.

"Oh, it turned out to be fine. They were removed of course and the hall was repaired in an instant. The witch conjured new robes of course but she wasn't seen the rest of the night and never attended another convention after that. She either was too embarrassed to show her self or she took revenge on the beasts and lost." He shrugged. "But never since has such an accident occurred. There are the usual oddities I'm sure but nothing too major. It is really a classy party so they do their best to keep it well under control."

"That poor woman. That's too bad for her though. So you just eat dinner, listen to people speak, watch them give a demonstration and then that's it?" It seemed to be interesting.

"Oh no, there's much more." Lupin said excitedly while he poured his tea.

"Really? Like what?" She added.

"Well after dinner and the demonstrations by the award winners are over the fun really begins. See, the convention takes place in a magnificent convention center and is divided into several rooms, or halls if you like. Of course there is the dinner hall but then there is also a ballroom with live music. There is also a cocktail room, for drinks and conversations. And then there are various halls set up with hundreds of booths in each with different witches and wizards presenting their inventions, findings, discoveries, whatever it may be for all to view. You can walk around through out the rooms and visit them or have a drink or take the opportunity to dance. Whatever you want. It goes on until two or three in the morning at times and it's great fun."

Seda's eyes had gone even wider. All the talk of this was making her more eager to attend. "It sounds really exciting. I hope I'm invited because I really would like to go and see for myself." She took a big sip of tea. "So there are basically booths of wizards set up for entertainment and you walk around and learn about what they do? That's fascinating."

"It is, especially for younger people. It gives you an idea about what you may want to do in the future and what to expect from different areas of magical careers. It's very informative yet fun at the same time. It's a time for us to get all dressed up and meet people from around the world. I hope you go Seda, I think you will enjoy it."

"Oh I will definitely plan on it if I get invited." She chewed on her lip for a moment. It seemed to be rather formal and that usually meant… "Professor, do you usually have to attend with… a date? I mean is this a coupling thing or can you attend by yourself?"

"People usually arrive in pairs but its not required. Why? Are you worried about finding another set of robes to go with you?" He laughed.

"No, I was just curious." He nodded and continued his meal. The rest of dinner she couldn't stop thinking about the convention and how much fun it seemed to be. It almost reminded her of a grand ball, like in Cinderella, but she knew this would be much more eventful then just getting dressed up for a meal and dancing.

After dinner she raced back to her rooms and immediately wrote a letter to Hermione. She had so many more questions to ask she didn't know where to start. She finally calmed her self enough to finish the letter and send it off with Aura. There she sat on the window seat and stared out into the night, wondering what it would be like to meet other witches and wizards from around the world. The thing that excited her most was the opportunity to finally dress up formerly and attend her first, real wizarding event and by the sounds of it a well known one too.

* * *

Seda was surprised to find she was waking up to gentle tapping on her head instead of her usual alarm. It took her a moment to realize that it wasn't the icicles in her dream that were hitting her but the small ball of fluff staring her right in the face.

"Aura?" She said confused. She looked over at her watch and noticed it wasn't even five in the morning yet. "Why are you waking me up now? It's too early. Go back to sleep." She said in a mumble as she tried to roll over onto her side. Aura gave a hoot and continued to tap her head with her tiny beak.

"Fine. Fine. What is it?" She mumbled as she opened her eyes and threw her arms down to the bed. Aura hooted again and fluttered down onto her stomach and hopped continuously until Seda looked down at her. There was a parchment tied to her leg. Seda sat up groggily and took the parchment from the owl's tiny leg.

"Thanks. I expect this is from Hermione." She said as Aura flew off to her cage. Seda unrolled the parchment and tried to read it but the sun was barely rising and the room was still dark. She grabbed her wand off the table next to the bed and said, "Lumos" and a beam of light fell upon the parchment. It _was_ from Hermione.

Seda read through the letter as best she could but since she had just woken up it took her longer to put words together and make sense of it. After she had finally read through it for the third time she looked up from the letter.

"It seems she will be attending the convention too, Aura, and," she looked back at the letter, "she strongly advises that I also attend or I will miss out on a fine evening of tasteful knowledge and marvelous advice." Seda looked up again and laughed slightly. "Or in other words a night of mingling with brilliant people and the opportunity to soak up more information. That's definitely something she would not miss out on."

She knew Hermione was a bookworm, even more so then she was and that was saying something. Seda had planned on attending anyway, if she was invited, even with out Hermione reassuring it would be a complete loss if she missed out.

Seda moaned again because now that she was awake she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep so she dragged her self from the bed, again, nearly two hours early and stalked to the bathroom. Half an hour later she was fully dressed and ready for breakfast but she knew breakfast would not be served until six o'clock so that meant she still had about an hour. She didn't have any homework left to work on so she exited her rooms and headed for the library. At least there she could read a book and pass the time.

Seda entered the enormous library and took a moment to decide which section to head off to. She knew she had to be careful because she actually wasn't supposed to be in there. At least until seven when Madame Pince was there but she wouldn't cause any trouble so she thought she would be safe. She headed for the east wing where the books on magical plants and herbs were located, near the restricted section. She walked along the aisles and came to a pause when something caught her attention.

A dark figure was moving down the rows in the restricted section. She walked a bit closer to the end of her row and stared around the corner at the mysterious presence. She didn't think anyone else would be in there that early and she was curious about who it was. Holding her breath she walked off to follow the figure into the restricted section, keeping her distance. It moved quickly as if it knew exactly where it was going and turned around another corner. She followed it and stopped when she turned into the next row. It was gone. She stood in place and looked around for any sign of the person.

"A bit early for you isn't it, Miss Wood?" She jumped at the sound of the voice. Coming out from around the next row was the unmistakable figure of Severus Snape. She panicked for a moment because she wasn't supposed to be in there at all.

He continued to move forward until he was within a foot from her. "I… couldn't sleep" was all she could say.

"Funny, that seems to be the same choice of words you used before when I caught you near my office." He stared at her indifferently.

"I… well… I couldn't sleep then either and…" she stopped. "What are you doing here so early professor?"

He folded his arms in his robes and gave her a very amused expression. "That's interesting of you to say, Miss Wood. Actually I have every right to be here at whatever time I desire but you on the other hand… you do know the library isn't open for two hours." He said, still his tone sounding indifferent.

"Yes, I know that but…"

"And you are also aware of the fact that you are not only in the library before hours but you are undoubtedly standing in the restricted section, which you are forbidden unless you have permission by a teacher." His voice took on a bit more harshness then.

"Yeah, but I…"

"And why would you follow an unknown figure into the darkest corners of a library in the early hours of the morning without knowing what you were heading into?" His voice took the usual bitterness when he was annoyed about something.

"I didn't…"

"But you did, Miss Wood, and you know what the punishment for this is don't you?" He was practically hissing, a smirk spreading across his mouth.

"What?" She said unbelievably. "What do you mean punishment? I didn't do…"

"Silence, Miss Wood. Or it will be two detentions." He finished snapping at her.

Her mouth fell open in shock and she was speechless. She stared at him dumbly, confused about what just happened. How in the hell did she just land her self in detention?

"Close that mouth, Miss Wood, or I will force it shut." His tone was undeniably cold and his eyes were even colder.

She snapped her mouth shut and placed her hands on her hips, staring him down as if he were bluffing. How could he just throw out a detention like that with out even questioning her reasons for being there in the first place? She was almost furious yet still in denial that this was happening. Maybe she was still dreaming or something. She narrowed her eyes at him, waiting to see if he would just say he was joking.

"This is not a joke, Miss Wood, I can assure you. You are not to be in the library before seven o'clock and especially not in the restricted section. You are going to serve detention tonight and may that be a lesson to you not to go wandering off in the dark again. Do I make myself clear?" He spat at her in bitterness.

"Perfectly." She said just as cold. What the hell was wrong with him? He was never this unreasonable. He was usually pretty intimidating but never that impatient about something so minor.

She turned to leave but then she paused. "I don't understand you." She said calmly.

"You aren't required to understand me. Now I suggest you exit this library at once before…"

She cut him off without hesitation. "How is it that you can be so fascinating and then in the next instant be a cold, arrogant snake?" She let it slip out before she could catch herself. She froze in place and her eyes went wide. Oh Merlin, she was in serious trouble now. She couldn't believe she just said that, out loud and in his presence. She could have died right there but she was afraid to even move.

It was silent, too silent. She didn't know what he was doing because her back was to him and that made her feel even more vulnerable. He was probably fuming now and the second she made the slightest movement he was going to strike, just like a snake would. It would have been better if he at least yelled or something so she knew he was not advancing on her for a silent attack. It was creepy because she couldn't even hear him breathing heavily like he normally did when he was trying to contain his anger.

She turned half way around and prepared herself for the worst. He was either going to throw a hex on her, yell at her or do something much worse. What she didn't expect was to turn around and find him practically smirking in delight. She lowered her eyebrows in question and studied his expression. This had to be the calm before the storm because he was too uncharacteristically calm for her liking. It was unnerving.

"You may want to reconsider your words, Miss Wood." He said simply. This unnatural behavior was affecting her greatly.

"How do you mean?" She said bitterly. She chewed her tongue to keep from saying anything else.

"Cold, yes. I maybe cold hearted but my past has forced me into that most unpleasant disposition. Fascinating? That depends on the person who judges me so. A snake? Well metaphorically I am a snake since I am the head of Slytherin but I assure that I am a human being. But as for arrogant you have it all wrong. You see, unlike Gryffindors, we Slytherins are not known to be arrogant but cunning and determined. Similar they might be but just as much different. So for assuming false facts about your superior I believe that may land you in another detention, Miss Wood." He finished with glistening eyes and a cool tone, his arms still folded up in his black, luxurious robes.

Now she knew it. She was definitely having a nightmare. It must have been a record; someone landing them self in two detentions, in two minutes and all before the day even started. If she hadn't been munching on her tongue she would have let him have another piece of her mind but she used all the will she had not to.

"I see you have finally learned to hold your tongue when the time calls for it. You are learning already, Miss Wood." She continued to stare at him like a hawk. "It seems that those forceful tactics are lingering in your mind, are they not? I really don't think we need to go over those again." He smirked.

She was telling her self to just turn around and walk away before she got into any more trouble but it seems that her feet and her brain were on completely different terms. To her surprise she was moving _closer_ to him, not away from him like she should be. Her mind had gone blank and thoughts about what she was doing were gone. She moved right up next to him until her chest was against his. She looked up at him intensely like he was her prey and she was going to devour him before he could even have a chance to get away.

He didn't look surprised as he normally would have done with her sudden closeness but actually more pleased that she _was_ this close, as if it were what he wanted all along. He raised an eyebrow at her, questioning her with out words.

Everything she needed to know was in his eyes and she used that to her advantage. Mystical darkness was lingering in them, swimming with that forbidden magic like it had the other night.

"Whatever you are about to do may earn you another detention you know." He said forcefully. "I'd be careful if I were you. You are dealing with an arrogant snake now."

"Shut up." She said just as forcefully. Her eyes were changing. They were bright with anger and the more they sparkled at him the more he wanted to infuriate her. He didn't know how but every time she looked at him like that he lost control of him self. Maybe that is what triggered him into biting her neck so suddenly that it made both of their heads spin. He bit down below her ear hard and didn't stop until she actually squeezed his arms and screamed into his chest. Luckily the layers of material her teeth were clamping onto muffled it.

"The more you scream the harder I bite." He hissed into her ear. With that she tightened her hold on his arms even more as he returned his mouth to the same area and continued to bite down, harder then before. He finally broke the barrier between pain and pleasure because she lost sense of any feelings at all. She didn't know what was coming over her. She felt like she would give her self over to anything at that moment and it actually frightened her.

She pulled away from him so suddenly that she felt dizzy. She didn't feel safe, something was wrong. She walked away from him slowly as he stared at her confused. Something was not right. She didn't feel right. She let out a soft gasp and then turned on her heal and ran. She was gone from view within the next second and moments later she sprinted through the library doors and out into the dim corridor.

She could have found the sanctuary in her rooms but she didn't even think about where she was going. She sprinted down the stairs, out into the Entrance Hall and through the doors onto the grounds. She didn't stop even though her heart felt it would explode as the chill from the outside air hit her like a ton of bricks. She continued to run through the blankets of white until she came to a familiar spot and stopped.

She stared out into the frozen lake as the curtains of white closed in on her. She panted heavily, trying to catch her breath but her heart was pounding still. She felt something cold dripping down her skin and unconsciously pressed her fingertips to her neck where she felt the sensation. She brought her fingers back to view and stared as a single drop of blood fell towards the ground of virgin snow. She stared as it stained the blinding white earth with its impurity and then she lifted her eyes to look out onto the lake once more.

She could have sworn she something dark moving towards her but it was all forgotten as she fell onto the blanket of snow. There she lie completely still as the curtains of white turned into black nothingness, not even able to hear the gently calling of her name in the distance. Where it was coming from she didn't know but all she did know was that something wasn't right.

* * *

"Seda… Seda… Seda… Seda…"

This voice was completely unfamiliar. It was nothing like she had ever heard before. In fact it didn't even sound human. It was more like a singsong whisper inside her head.

"Seda… Seda… you can't go now… Seda… you must go back… Seda… Seda… listen to me… hear me now… Seda… there is much you don't understand… Seda… you need to learn the truth… listen to me now… Seda… my love… I will always guide you… protect you… Seda… you must turn back… feel my presence… remember… Seda… this is not your time… go now… go…"

The unearthly voice echoed inside her head as her eyes flashed open. For a moment she could see the vision of a glowing orb of light fading into the distance until it blended into the sun and was gone. She looked down to her side and noticed the blood stained snow. She instinctively pressed her fingers to the wound and when she pulled her hand back it was soiled with dried blood.

She let out a gasp and tried to stand but she was weak. She grasped the chain around her neck, like she always did when she felt weak, and tried to pray for her strength. Just before she let go of the chain she noticed something else was wrong. She only felt one object hanging from her necklace. Her ring. It was gone. She started to panic and looked around her for any sign of it. She rolled onto her hands and knees and started digging through the snow. It was no use because it was nowhere to be found.

Feeling depressed and defeated she hunched over into a ball and rested her head in her hands. That was the only possession she had to connect her with her birth mother and now it was gone. She tried pressing her palms into her eye sockets, hoping that would keep the tears from falling but again she was defeated. The tiny sobs came fluttering up through her throat and soon she was crying silently into her hands, still shivering in the cold as the blankets of white continued to fall around her.

It was quite sometime that she knelt there before she actually moved. She probably wouldn't have moved at all if someone hadn't noticed her.

"Seda?" It was a girl's voice. "Are you ok?" She couldn't even look up. "Lindsey! Come over here. Quick!" She heard footsteps crunching through the snow. Soon they came to a stop and she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"What's wrong? Is she ok?" She heard the girl, named Lindsey speak.

"I don't know. Seda, are you hurt or anything?" She tried to shake her head but she was frozen stiff. "She won't answer. I think she needs the hospital wing."

"Ok." She heard the other girl say.

"We are going to take you to the hospital wing alright. Just lean on us." Then she felt two pairs of arms grab underneath her own and around her waist and she was pulled upright. She caught a glimpse of two younger girls from her own house just before she collapsed onto her knees again. One of them shrieked and the other tried to hold on.

"Kylie, I think I should go get someone!"

"Get Professor Sprout! Hurry! Lindsey, hurry!"

Then she heard crunching footsteps in the snow again as she tried to pick her head up off her chest. She opened her eyes just enough to see the blonde haired girl looking her seriously in the face. Her green eyes were wide with concern and her cheeks were red with cold.

"You'll be ok, Seda. You will be ok… Seda?" Everything went black again.

* * *

Everything came slowly back into focus as she opened her eyes. This time she was not looking up into the sun but at a stone ceiling, high above her. Then a very familiar face hovered above her, barely a foot away, which startled her. It was the spectacled face of McGonagall and it didn't look too pleased.

"I see you are awake now, Miss Wood." Her voice was soft yet still very stern. "It seems you have been absent all morning but luckily someone found you or you would have been a human Popsicle."

"Wha?" She struggled to say.

"You are lucky, Miss Wood, that you were found; another hour outside in the cold like that and you would have frozen to a cube. Now would you mind telling me why you were outside for so long?"

She squinted her eyes, trying to see clearly. "I… needed a walk."

"I see. And why was it that you were found hunched over in a ball? Is anything wrong with you because I've been a bit concerned about you lately."

"Why?" She shivered.

"Why? It seems that you have been feeling ill more often and… you didn't answer my question, Miss Wood."

"What question, professor?"

McGonagall gave her a very stern look just then. "Alright, Miss Wood, I think we need to have a chat. Would you mind coming with me please? I will walk you to your rooms."

After helping Seda out of the bed in the hospital wing she walked with her up the stairs and down the corridors to her rooms. The whole journey McGonagall looked over her shoulder to make sure Seda wasn't showing any signs of fainting or any other oddity. They walked inside her rooms and McGonagall gestured for Seda to sit in the armchair near the fireplace. After McGonagall sat down she watched her teacher warily, like she was about to be scolded for something.

"Now, please, tell what's going on. I know you haven't been acting normally and I would like to know why. I don't want this to start affecting your studies in school."

How was she to start explaining her self? What was she supposed to say? She wasn't acting abnormally but then again she hadn't been her self completely since she came to Hogwarts. Well it wasn't really Hogwarts; it was the dreams that made her weak. Weak was not who she was, she never was but her world came crumbling down in pieces lately all because of this dream.

"The dream." She said bluntly, not really realizing she said it aloud.

"The dream? What do you mean dear?" McGonagall looked at her seriously.

"It's the dream I've been having since I came here. The one that Professor S…" she paused for a moment as a thought came to mind, "Professor Snape and Hermione are trying to help me with."

McGonagall's eyes widened for a moment. "Oh yes, I remember." Seda watched her nervously. "How is that going? Professor Snape is not very open about anything so it's nearly impossible to get anything out of him unless he talks freely."

"Well it's… going well, I suppose. I don't really know how it works but I think we are making progress. Except it… the dream seems to be getting worse." She dropped her eyes to the grate full of ashes.

"Is that why you were found outside this morning? Did you have that dream again and wander unknowingly out into the cold?" It almost sounded like an accusation.

"No. I got mad at…" She stopped her self from continuing that sentence. She could feel the older witches eyes burning into her more then ever now. "I was frustrated with myself so I headed outside to cool off, to walk through my thoughts." She looked up slowly with her eyes, hoping that didn't sound too random and false.

"I see." She said slowly. "Well next time you should try walking around indoors, especially if it is going to be so cold." Seda nodded and McGonagall stood up. Seda thought she was going to leave and she was relieved for a moment until she walked over to the fireplace.

"It's too chilly in here." McGonagall said and the next moment a fire was blazing in the grate. She turned back around to face her student. "I feel like you are keeping something, Miss Wood. Something you desperately want to say but you are afraid to do so. You can trust me. I'm here to help you. Are you certain nothing else is bothering you dear?"

"No, professor, I'm not keeping anything." Seda said innocently but she felt like the witch was seeing right through her.

"You just seem worried all the time, or upset. Is there anything I can do?" She was nearly pleading with her to confess whatever it was she was hiding.

"Honestly, there's nothing you can do to help." That came out wrong and she knew it. She just blew her cover that there _was_ something she was hiding.

"Well, Miss Wood, I do hope that you will come to me if it ever gets too difficult to handle." Her tone was suddenly full of concern as she turned back to the mantle. Seda just looked at her, confused about what she meant. It was silent for a moment except for the cracking of the flames. "This is a lovely ring, Miss Wood."

Seda turned her focus to the mantle. She couldn't see what McGonagall was looking at since it was above her point of view. "What ring?" Seda said protectively as she jumped up from the chair. She walked over and looked down at what her teacher was staring at. There, lying in front of the portrait of Seda when she was younger was the ring she thought she had lost.

"Oh my god" she said breathlessly. "But how did it get here? I never put it here. It was missing this morning after I saw S…" she stopped again as McGonagall turned her eyes down to Seda's. "I don't understand. I must have put it here and forgot." She looked back at her professor and waited for a reaction.

McGonagall stood straight and said, "Well you should watch over it better if it means so much to you." McGonagall shifted her eyes to Seda's neck. "What happened to your neck dear?" Seda pressed her hand over it and mumbled "nothing."

McGonagall eyed her carefully and said, "I have a class starting in a bit so I need to be going." McGonagall eyed her again and then turned for the door. "If you need to rest then take the evening to do so, Miss Wood, but you need to attend your classes tomorrow since you missed today already." Seda nodded. "Oh and your invitation arrived this morning by the way. The letter should be in your bedroom. Good evening, Miss Wood." With a last nod she left.

Seda remained by the fireplace wondering how the ring got there. It was too odd to seem possible. There was only one explanation for it. She looked back at the picture frame and studied the portrait within it. It was the same picture that Snape and Hermione had seemed taken by. She looked back at the ring and thought for a moment. There were questions here and she needed answers.

Shestayed in her rooms during dinner because she didn't feel like being questioned any time soon about the incident that morning. By ten o'clock she was pacing around her bedroom trying to think of logical reasons of how the ring got there. Finally she had enough self-conversation and exited her rooms. She headed straight for the place she had in mind and didn't slow down until she reached the door. She knocked and then came the familiar, "enter" and she entered.

He looked up, surprised to see her and then stared at her curiously. "Do you require something, Miss Wood?" He said annoyed.

"Only some answers." She said, determined that she would get them.

To her surprise he leaned back in his chair and pointed for her to sit down opposite him. She took her seat and stared at him, waiting for him to say something.

"What is it you want answers to?" He said rather coldly, piercing her with dark eyes.

She held the ring out in front of her face and said, "this."


	43. When Silence Calls

Sorry to leave you hanging like I did but that's all part of the fun in being a writer. Ha, ok I know that was mean. Sorry! Let's just get to it then, shall we? Enjoy!

Thank you Juno and Kidd for reviewing so quickly. Actually I was quite shocked because the first thing I got in my email when I woke up was two new reviews so kudos to you both! Yay! Toodles!

* * *

"What are you talking about, Miss Wood?" He looked completely lost and annoyed.

"My ring, that's what I'm talking about. Something extremely peculiar happened to it today and I'd like to know how it happened." She said, not believing he didn't know anything about it.

He continued to watch her carefully as he leaned back in his chair. "I really don't know what you are on about. Why do you assume that I had anything to do with this peculiarity?"

"Because…" she spoke softer, "because I was with _you_ the last time I had it."

"What do you mean _the last time you had it_? What is this nonsense?"

"This morning… after I left the library… I was outside and it was gone." She said this as she reflected back on the memory, almost speaking to no one.

"Yes, I heard about your little situation this morning." His voice was low. "And you are assuming that I took your ring for some absurd reason, is that it?"

She looked up at him quickly. "Well it mysteriously found its way back to my room."

He narrowed his eyes. "And your point is?"

"It was sitting on the mantle, next to the picture of me when I was young." She snapped.

"You must have put it there. I still don't see how you include me in on this little… game of lost and found." He said, waving his hand as if it were nothing.

"Well it seems peculiar to me that you were the last person I was with when I had it." She said angrily as she stood and rested her hands on the edge of his desk.

"Miss Wood, I think you need a return visit to the Infirmary because you clearly have lost your mind." He said snarling at her.

"I have not lost my mind!" She yelled and that made his eyes flash dangerously. "I am not going crazy." She said as she slumped back into the chair. "And the ironic thing is… just before I passed out I saw someone walking towards me." She said quietly.

"You passed out? Again?" He was practically in disbelief. He seemed disgusted.

She looked up at him angrily. "Stop making fun of me! I can't help it all right!" He didn't answer. "Yes, I passed out. Though I don't know why. All I remember was hearing a strange voice, saying something I didn't understand and… then I woke up."

He was looking at her as if she were some hideous monster. She began to feel even more self-conscious then. "That's not the story I was told, Miss Wood."

She looked at him curiously. "What do you mean?" She said defensively.

He shifted slightly in his chair. "I was told that you passed out after two members of your House found you, seemingly upset about something." His voice dropped eerily with the last part.

She stared him down for a long moment before she replied, "Well I suppose I did pass out, again, after who ever they were found me. That's not the time I was talking about though however."

"Then for Merlin's sake, what the bloody hells are you on about?" He said losing his patience. She was extremely aggravating at times.

Usually his tone would have startled her but she seemed too dazed to notice. Staring at the wall behind him she said, "You know… I don't really know." She sounded very light headed at the moment.

Severus was beginning to vibrate with frustration now. Why was it that she could never just get right to the point? She was more then aggravating she was nauseating. So he thought anyway at certain times.

"Fine, Miss Wood, if you can not sit here and talk like an adequate being then get out of my office and relieve me of this foolishness!" He bellowed furiously. "I have much more important things to be doing then to sit here and force words out of your idiotic brain! Now get out!" He was nearly purple with building pressure.

For the first time she actually feared for her life. She was too frightened to even move. She knew this time he was not bluffing and he was actually extremely irritated with her. She didn't know what to do.

"Why are you so angry?" She said in a small voice, looking at him like a trapped mouse.

His eyes flashed again, more dangerous then before. "Do not sit there and pretend you don't know why!" He stood from the chair and stared down at her like an unstable tower ready to crash. "Tell me, why was it that you ran away this morning only to go try and freeze your self to death. Is that your idea of screaming for attention again?"

Her mouth dropped and she screwed up her face in befuddlement. "Again? You think that's what I'm doing? Screaming for attention!" She yelled back at him.

He dashed out from behind his desk and stopped when he was leaning over her, his hands placed firmly on the arm rests of the chair. "Is it?" He challenged her.

She stared him in the face for a long moment until she finally turned her head away from him. Looking him in the face was killing her then. He was outrageous.

"You disgust me." His voice was low and malicious. He stood up straight and stared down at her like she was nothing but filth.

Her heart felt heavy then, like it was beating faster by the second. She was not going to lose control now, she couldn't. His words were by far more hurtful then anyone she had ever met. He was the only one who could make her heart flutter at times with out words but then be the only one who could poison her with wicked words of deceit and manipulation, pushing her to the point where she thought she would shed more tears then ever before.

She took a quivering breath before she confessed, "I was scared."

He was taken back slightly by her reaction. He thought she was going to flee, cry, scream, anything except talk normally. "What?" He said aggressively.

"You heard." She said again, softly. She still had her head turned from him.

"Scared about what? Being in the company of books?" He never failed to be sarcastic.

She knew that he knew perfectly well what she meant. He was only trying to avoid it. "Why do you make everything so complicated?" She said, her voice still quiet.

"I'm a complicated man, Miss Wood. I am not one to walk around and present thoughts dwelling in my mind so openly as some people would like. I am guarded for many reasons you would not understand."

"Yeah, well… I guess that's why you intimidate people so much." Her tone was icy.

"That's my job." He said just as cold.

It was silent for a long, uncomfortable minute or two. Finally she stood and said, "I'll leave you to your bitterness then" as she walked towards the door.

He waited for her to touch the doorknob when he called, "Miss Wood."

She sighed and chewed on her tongue for a moment before she said, "what."

"You still have detention tonight." He said this with no trace of feeling what so ever, except possibly containing an evil laugh inside his head.

She stared at the door in disbelief. This could not be possible, it just couldn't be. Just when she actually wanted to get away from him he was forcing her to stay, even though he wanted her out just as bad.

"I don't believe this," she said under her breath.

"Oh, you can believe it, Miss Wood. And you will find the experience very enjoyable tonight." She turned to him confused about what he was proposing. He smirked because he knew exactly what she was thinking as he had intended for her to think that purposefully.

"You will start by…" he hesitated purposefully, "scrubbing the cauldrons, with out magic and you will finish off by writing an essay on the proper techniques for cleaning cauldrons." He smirked unpleasantly as her stomach dropped to her feet. "And you may return to your rooms when you have finished."

With that he walked around her and out into the corridor that lead to one of the potions classrooms. He opened the door and led her inside. Stacked in the stone washing basins were twenty or so cauldrons. Her stomach left the floor and jumped into her throat.

"But… I'll be here all night." She complained.

"Then I'd get to work if I were you. You still have an essay to write." He watched her cringe and then turned for the door. He stopped and turned back to her. "Give me your wand."

She waited a moment before she reluctantly pulled her wand slowly out of her robes and handed it to him. He flicked his own wand at one of the desks and a roll of parchment, quill and ink appeared. "And don't leave out any steps" he said before he exited the room with a thud from the wooden door.

She had the greatest urge to scream at the top of her lungs. The more she contained her anger the more steam she felt puffing out her ears. If she were a howler right now she would have not only burst into flames but also probably set of an explosion like an atomic bomb. She kicked the nearest chair and headed off for the basin. "Damn him!"

It wasn't until nearly two thirty in the morning that she finished scrubbing the last cauldron and sat down, exhausted, to write her essay. When she picked up the quill she just as suddenly let go of it. Her hands were so sore from scrubbing that even holding a feather quill felt like needles stabbing her flesh.

"Bastard" she said angrily. He knew damn well that after scrubbing out cauldrons for over four hours holding anything would be murder. She could have hexed him right there. Yet she wasn't going to give him any satisfaction for defeat so she grudgingly took hold of the quill and began writing her damned essay on proper cleaning techniques.

While she wrote furiously she sometimes blurted out words like, "stupid", "bloody", "insane", "bastard", and even "fucking idiot" until she was satisfied that she had released half her anger. As she wrote on she could feel her eyelids dropping every now and then but she struggled to keep them open. She was going to finish that confounded essay if it killed her.

Time was passing by uneasily. Soon it was three thirty, then four and then she couldn't remember. She finally finished her essay and rolled it up. She thought she would just rest her head for a second or two before she attempted to stand up and deliver it.

Severus walked inside the potions classroom. He didn't know what to think of the situation. She was leaning over on the desk, her arms resting under her head and undoubtedly asleep. He walked up behind her, took the essay and looked it over. When he was satisfied he slipped it inside his robes.

He watched her sleep for another moment. He saw now the mark he left on her neck from before. It was much more purple then he thought it would be. He didn't know what came over him when he did that. He didn't necessarily like abuse but this was different. He looked away from it and then he leaned over and spoke in her ear, "taking a nap are we?"

Her eyes immediately shot open. He could feel her tense beneath him, since he was practically laying on her. Her eyes shifted upwards and she gasped when she saw him.

"What time is it?" She said frantically.

He continued to lean over her and spoke quietly in her ear again, "It's six thirty in the morning, Miss Wood." She let out another gasp, obviously shocked how late, or early it was. One of his fingers touched her neck. "You may want to cover this up." His voice was like silk as he gently touched the mark he left.

She maneuvered her way out from beneath him and stood up as quickly as she could. "I can't believe I fell asleep." She pressed her hands into her head.

He stood straight and looked at her. "You'd better hurry up and get ready for the day, Miss Wood. And don't try to skive off your lessons this morning because you have a very important class today." He smirked at her.

"Oh shit," she said inside her head. She had potions first thing today. It was Friday! She nearly threw up with the sudden sickening feeling she had. With out acknowledging him she ran from the classroom and up the stairs. She passed Lupin in the Entrance Hall and didn't even stop to return his morning greeting. When she entered her rooms she slammed the door shut with more force then she intended and let out a long roar as the walls shook around her.

Somewhat satisfied that the scream helped she walked briskly to the bathroom and knocked over a few things as she went. She jumped inside the shower and just as quickly got out ten minutes later. After drying off she walked quickly into the bedroom and got dressed as she let out a few more words of frustration. Then she set the alarm on her watch for eight thirty and crawled onto the bed and passed out. She could at least sleep through breakfast; get about an hour and a half of sleep and then go to potions.

* * *

Severus began tapping his fingers absent-mindedly on the table as he stared out over the hall. Apparently he wasn't aware that several people were staring at him, which was very unusual since he noticed anything and everything. He was too concentrated on watching the little brats enjoy themselves over their breakfast. He, for one, wasn't enjoying his breakfast that day.

"I told her not to skip… lessons… the little twit." He thought angrily inside his head. He was rather frustrated with her since she had run out on him twice in two days. He shouldn't be so annoyed because in a way he didn't want her around when she acted so… whatever it was she was doing, he didn't know what it was. But then part of him was highly amused when she was there, gracing his presence with her contaminating aura. He didn't understand her, he thought he did but he obviously proved himself wrong.

He thought by acting the way he did he could have gotten more feelings from her, feelings about how she truly felt about him. What he didn't expect was for her to dramatically run away from him like a wild unicorn, beaming with brilliance until she was gone from view. She was sickeningly complicated at times and it made him crazy. He was supposed to be the complicated one, not the other way around. And then how she would so easily challenge his authority. That drove him absolutely up the wall with madness, yet he always wanted to continue the argument for the sake of some strange pleasure. No, he just couldn't make out what she was trying to prove. He felt like a…

"Fool" he said, thinking it was within his own mind.

"Pardon?" Lupin said turning to him, confused.

"Not you." Severus answered, realizing he was losing control of his thoughts.

"Then who?" Lupin replied, curious about his colleague's sudden outburst.

"No one of your concern, Lupin." He snapped.

Lupin just watched him for a moment before he sighed and said, "Wonderful day, isn't it?" He was being sarcastic but he couldn't help but mess with the old grump.

"Don't try to be smart with me you…" he was cut off.

"Severus… could I have a word?" It was McGonagall.

He sneered at Lupin before he stood and followed McGonagall in to the staff room. When she closed the door she turned to him as he said, "What is it?" Bitterly.

She raised her eyebrows momentarily at him then started, "I wanted to ask you about… that potion…" he gave her a quizzical look, "that experiment you are performing on Miss Wood. You know what I'm referring to." She said shortly.

"It's hardly an experiment, Professor McGonagall." He said, his voice not as bitter.

"Whatever it is… I'd like to know how it's going." She said while walking to one of the chairs and sitting down. She gestured for him to sit down but he remained where he was.

"And why do you ask?" He said, cautiously. She had never asked about it before, at least not in private and so concerned.

"To tell the truth I'm becoming a bit concerned that it's starting to affect her."

"The potion does induce side effects. That's normal."

She gave him an annoyed look. "And I suppose her fainting spells are part of that? Along with her moderate depression and so forth? That is all normal?"

Moderate depression? What the hell was she talking about he thought? "Weakness comes because the intensity of her dreams increases with every session. I wouldn't call it fainting spells and depression." He was losing his patience.

"I do not think she is weak, Severus. I think this experiment is going too far over a single reoccurring nightmare she's been having. Don't you think it would stop if the sessions ceased? That is what seems to be _weakenin_g her."

"I don't know the full details of this particular potion as I've never used it before… but if we don't continue the sessions we will never understand what is triggering the behavior of this dream." She knew so little about potions he reminded him self.

"So you have her best interest at heart, do you? You were never one to show emotions so freely, Severus, I'm surprised." He wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic or serious.

"That's quite a remark, Professor McGonagall." He said, narrowing his eyes at her.

"Severus… I think you need to sit down." She said sternly, lowering her eyes at him over her glasses. It didn't take long for him to sit down after that.

* * *

Seda sat in her usual seat, at the front of the room, next to a third year Ravenclaw girl. She sat quietly with her head propped up on her left hand, and tried to keep her eyes open. The chattering in the room was giving her a headache. The class sat patiently, talking somewhat as they waited for their teacher to arrive. Never in all the years he had taught had he ever been late for a class.

The chatting came to an end when a crash from the door swinging open violently and closing with a bang startled them all. There he came, striding quickly to the front of the classroom nearly fuming with anger. No one dared look him in the eye as he turned around to face them all.

"Instructions are on the board. Get to work." He said like a drill sergeant as he flicked his wand at the black board.

Seda quickly set to work. She was assuming that he was in such a sour mood because of her so she tried to give him no reason she was pleased about it. Potions was going to be hell that day, she knew it. She was nervous because he glared at her eerily as he sat behind his desk. He was really pissed off about something, obviously.

The class was unnaturally silent that day, more so then ever before. Maybe they were all afraid that if they said anything he would stuff them into their cauldrons and cook them or something insane. As a result they all kept extremely quiet and did their best not to make any mistakes, for it might cost them their lives.

When she walked to the front of the room to hand him her potion sample he took it and stared at it with annoyance. Then he looked up to her and said, "You will stay after class, Miss Wood." She nodded quickly then returned to her desk to clean up.

The girl she sat with gave her a pitiful look as she made to leave. "Good luck," she mumbled as she walked around her.

"Silence, Miss Patterson, or its detention." He snapped at her. Her eyes widened then she hurried out the door.

It was several more minutes until the class was empty. Seda stood behind her chair, nervously waiting for him to speak. What on earth could she have done now? He stood from his chair and pointed his wand at the door, where it slammed shut, trapping Seda inside with a fuming Snape.

He didn't look at her but said, "I had a very interesting conversation this morning." His voice was low. She continued to stand in place and didn't say anything. She watched him glide around to the front of his desk where he paused and looked at her. "I don't suppose you knew that did you?" His voice was still extremely low and dangerous.

She raised her chin slightly and replied, "No, sir… I didn't." He simply glared back at her, as if it was her turn to say something. She gathered up her courage and asked, "With whom, may I ask?" She continued to stare back at him, not giving into his intimidation.

"Tell me… have you given your Head of House any reason to believe that our sessions have been used for more then the study of your dreams?" He practically accused her.

"No," she said automatically. He gave her a skeptical look. "If you don't believe me then I will gladly drink a bottle of Veritaserum just to prove it." She said getting annoyed.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "That would be of no use to me because by the time you have finished off the bottle you will have been poisoned to an instant death." He hissed at her stupidity. "However… your Head of House seems to think that these sessions are useless because they only seem to be weakening you." He said this as if he didn't care either way.

She looked back at him, wondering what he was getting at. He was acting a bit odd. "I told you… I haven't given her any reason to…"

"Hold your tongue," he hissed again. She shut her mouth instantly. He began to walk down the aisle of the room. "Now… it seems she is quite curious about the interaction going on in the mean time." It almost sounded like he was… worried.

She followed him with her eyes. "What do you mean?" She said defiantly.

He stopped and looked back at her angrily. "What do you think it means, you silly girl? Use your head!" His eyes were narrowed.

Her mouth opened slightly. "You don't mean… but… she can't… know. I mean… how could she?" She started to panic. What if they were caught?

He folded his arms inside his robes. "I don't know exactly what she is concocting inside that head of hers but she made it perfectly clear that she has noticed strange behavior on both our parts."

Her mouth opened more. "But… that doesn't mean she knows… does it? She can't know… it's not possible… I never said… anything and… I… and… I mean…" Her head was buzzing with horrible thoughts.

"Calm down girl." He snapped. "I do not believe she knows anything about… what happened. You will just try harder to make it seem as though nothing ever happened." He was trying to be sensible. This was quite an awkward situation.

"Me? What about you?" She said not believing he was making this her fault.

"I have my emotions under control, Miss Wood."

She didn't know what to make of that. "And what do you mean by that, professor?"

"I mean that you need to control your self. Stop running around with your thoughts on your chest."

She stared at him in shock almost. She threw her arms up in the air and turned to pick up her things. She gathered her bag and books and headed for the door. As she pushed pass him she said, "I can not believe you just said that," disgusted.

He grabbed her arm and pulled her around. "Don't walk away when I'm talking to you."

She pulled her self away from him and said, "Well I am not having this conversation with you so yes I am going to walk away." She turned back to the door and began walking away, again.

"Do not disrespect me, Miss Wood. You have forgotten my authority."

She continued walking and said, "Well excuse me then, Professor Snape, but I'm finding this conversation inappropriate so I feel it's best to just walk away and pretend it never happened." She was almost to the door.

He was slightly impressed by this. She could always surprise him at the most inopportune of times. "Yes, walk away and act as though nothing ever happened. That's the way it always should have been, Miss Wood."

She stopped dead in her tracks. Her heart seemed to freeze.

"And just to forewarn you… after tomorrow nights session we are going to conclude the analysis."

The room started to spin. "Fine," she said and left the room, slamming the door shut behind her. Severus stared at the door for a long minute before he returned to his desk and began writing a letter.

She got to her seat at lunch and sat down heavily. She pulled all sorts of things onto her plate and began picking at all of it, not realizing she was doing it. She drank four cups of coffee and by the time she left she was shaking. She left just as he came in and she looked completely away from him as she neared him. They bumped into each other but she knew she didn't do it as she tried to remain as far from him as possible.

"Watch where you are going, Miss Wood." He snapped as she felt him slip something into her pocket. She glared at him and continued out of the hall. As she walked up the stairs to Charms class she reached inside her robes and pulled out her wand. She must have forgotten to get it back that morning. She was lucky that he actually returned it because she wouldn't have noticed until she needed it. Damn him anyway she thought as she shoved it back into her pocket.

* * *

"But Professor… we can't just quit now. There is so much we are just starting to learn." The voice was almost frantic.

"I don't have a choice. It's hardly any use to us any more… we are not making much progress."

"How can you say that? Have you forgotten what happened last time? What if the dream goes further? How can we just conclude after tonight when there is more to be learned?"

"There's no point. We must conclude tonight and make the best of it."

"And what about her? How is Seda supposed to deal with these dreams after we stop the sessions? They will get worse won't they?"

"The dreams intensify because of the potion. She will be fine. Once she forgets about these dreams she can move on. It's for the best." He didn't sound convincing.

"I don't believe you. I think there is more to your excuse then making it seem as though this was all a waist of time. I think you are hiding another reason, professor."

"I am hiding nothing… and I don't need a know-it-all Gryffindor to lecture me about my reasoning."

"I'm not lecturing you… I'm just stating the obvious." The voice was noble.

"Oh really? And what do you perceive as the obvious?" His voice was challenging.

"I think you want to put an end to this because… you fear what might happen to her."

It was silent for a moment. "Why would I give a damn about her? I can tell you plainly that it's not because of her that I'm concluding this."

"Maybe not… but you're guarding your own emotions too. And stop pretending like you don't care about her." She snapped.

"You are out of order. Now stop with this foolishness before I hex you out of my office." His voice dropped to a dangerously low tone. "I will tell you one last time… I don't give a damn about her in any way." His voice was like a snarl.

"Then why did you go through with it in the first place?"

"Enough!" He roared. Then it was silent.

Seda pulled her ear away from the door and stepped back from it slowly. Her mouth fell open slightly as she felt quickened breaths come to her. She couldn't believe she just heard what she did. She felt dizzy.

But she had to pull herself together. She had to go in there and act like she didn't hear any of it. She couldn't turn away and not show up. She had to take the potion one last time and try to put an end to this properly. So she shook her head softly and stepped towards the door. She knocked and then she waited.

Hermione sat in one of the armchairs, her legs tucked underneath her with a notebook propped open on her knees. She was writing down the last of the session notes as Seda slept on the couch. She was going to take all the notes and records she had kept and make a proper thesis from it then conclude it once and for all.

It seemed that hardly any interaction took place while she dreamed. No struggles, fights, thoughts or even psychological deaths. It was quick and simple. Her mind seemed to be completely relaxed and therefore the mark on her chest didn't radiate like it did before. It was easy to say that the dream that night was very disappointing considering this was their last meeting.

Hermione gave Severus a copy of her final conclusion at well after midnight. Then she said goodbye to Seda, who was still sleeping and left with out another word. It was quiet now. There were no quills scratching or shuffling parchments. There was only the sounds of her breathing that came with deep sleep.

He extinguished the candles burning in their lanterns and then looked away from her figure and exited the room. She was left alone to sleep peacefully with only the low burning fire in the fireplace and the wind howling softly outside. It was silent.

**A/N:** _"Like the sound of silence calling, I hear your voice and suddenly I'm falling, lost in a dream." - Josh Groban, When You Say You Love Me from the album Closer_


	44. Midnight Rehearsals, Take Two

Ok… um… not much to say except thanks to all those who reviewed! I'm too excited about this next chapter so I will get right into it and relieve you of your suspense. Toodles!

* * *

Seda spent most of Sunday in her rooms. She only left for lunch and then was never seen the rest of the day. On her way to lunch, however, she made a pit stop at the Gryffindor table. She stopped behind a blonde haired girl and a red head next to her.

"Excuse me," she said softly and they both turned around.

"Oh, Seda…" the blonde started. They looked as though they had no idea what to say.

"I wanted to thank you for helping me the other day. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to do it before." She tried to smile but she didn't have the strength to do it.

"It was no problem, really. I'm… I mean we… we're happy you are well though." She looked encouragingly at the red head next to her.

"Yes… are you better now?" The red head asked.

Seda nodded. "I'm ok now." She stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say next.

"Oh… well… I'm Kylie if you didn't know." She extended her hand to Seda, who shook it steadily.

"And I'm Lindsey." The red head also extended her hand.

"It's nice to formerly meet you both. I'm afraid I haven't gotten the chance to meet many people, even from my own House unfortunately." They smiled at her. "What year are you in?" She asked curiously.

"Fourth." Kylie answered. The blonde haired girl glanced up at the staff table where she noticed a certain potions master glaring at her. "Um… do you want to sit with us?" She asked Seda as she focused back on her. "I understand if you can't… but…"

Seda also noticed the feeling of eyes on her and looked out the corner of her eye at Snape who had been staring at her moments ago.

"Sure." Seda answered and walked around the other side of the table and sat down across from them.

"So… if you don't mind me asking… you came here from America right?"

Seda replied, "yes," as she poured her self some tea.

"Brilliant." Lindsey said, smiling.

"What's it like? Have you always lived there?" Kylie asked.

"Yes, I grew up in the New England area, the east coast. It's wonderful there."

"I always wanted to go on holiday to the states but my parents never want to go any where." Seda nodded. "Um… also if you don't mind… but… why…" Kylie looked a bit hesitant.

"Why I started so late?" They both nodded. "Well it's kind of a weird story I guess. I was adopted as a baby and brought to America with my new parents. My birth mother was a witch but we don't know whom. I grew up thinking I was abnormal or something because I could do things no one else could. You know… make things happen accidentally when I was upset." She sighed. "It wasn't until over the summer that I learned what I am."

"How did you find out?" Lindsey asked, leaning on her elbows.

"Well…" she glanced at the staff table again then back to her tea, "Professor Snape told me actually."

The two girls looked at each other. "Snape?" They were obviously confused.

"He was my chemistry professor at the university I was attending." They looked at each other again. "It seems Dumbledore found out where I was, I had been missing apparently, and sent Snape to bring me here. So that's how I got here."

"Missing?" Kylie asked, confusion all over her face.

"Yeah, I guess so. I really don't know what that means but at least I got to come here… even though it is kind of late." Seda sighed again. They continued talking for a while until Seda stated that she had work to do.

"Thanks again… for helping me." She said and smiled warmly. She nodded at them and then disappeared out the doors.

Lindsey turned to her friend. "Do you really think its true? About those Slytherins… why they were expelled?" She said softly so no one else could hear.

"Yeah, I do. Can't you tell? That's probably why she's upset and miserable all the time. Think about it Lindsey… what if you were attacked by three Slytherin males? Wouldn't you be a bit secluded too?" She shook her head. "It must have been horrible. I would never want to show myself again." She sighed.

"I would probably be the same I suppose. And being new and everything, oy." She also shook her head. "And Snape?" Lindsey added.

"What do you mean?" Kylie looked at her strangely.

"I wonder how he reacted. I mean it was three of his students… and he sits next to her."

"Well he probably wasn't very happy with them. Remember how he acted after? It was odd. And do you see the way he looks at her sometimes?" She said, almost excited.

Lindsey leaned away from her friend and studied her closely. "Oh no… I know what you are thinking. You don't think," she glanced up at the staff table.

"Oh you know you've wondered it too. It's sort of obvious, isn't it?" Her eyes widened.

"Kylie… I think you are getting a bit carried away… or you've gone mad." She said seriously. "So… what if… what do you think? I mean… him?"

"Well… I like her… I just hope she doesn't get hurt." Kylie said as she looked up at the staff table.

* * *

The week seemed to fly by unnaturally fast. Maybe it was because she avoided him as frequently as possible and never spoke to him, but then those were the moments that seemed to take forever. Now that she thought about it the week passed by painfully slow and now that it was Saturday she was relieved it was over. She couldn't believe that hardly a week ago she agreed to put an end to the sessions either. It was all very strange.

She received a letter back from her parents that morning stating they understood she would not be able to come home until the morning of Christmas Eve. She apologized for wanting to go to this convention but they explained to her that if it was important then she should be there. They encouraged her greatly in anything she did. They cared about her happiness and she admired them for that.

The one thing that seemed to dampen her spirits though was another letter they included with theirs. It was an official letter from her dance company, honoring her to perform in the annual _Winter Dance Fest. _The fest was a show collaborated with all the studios in New England. Each studio chose their best dancers from each level to perform. She had performed in that show every year since she was ten years old. She even remembered her first performance at the fest. It was thrilling. She felt depressed suddenly. She missed dancing so much that it nearly ate her alive. It was the one thing she could do to relieve her of any worry at all.

She contemplated on whether or not she should accept the invite because it was to take place on December twenty-ninth. That was the following Wednesday after Christmas and she didn't know if she would be prepared to dance that soon. It had been almost six months with out training and she would be well out of whack, especially for such a huge show. She dwelled on this for almost an hour.

She noticed they were holding rehearsals on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday before the show. If she practiced hard enough she might just be able to pull it off. She got excited for a moment. She shuffled through a set of papers until she found one that stated which piece she was supposed to perform. Usually they assigned performances to each dancer or group of dancers. She looked at it confused. Where it was supposed to say what piece she would be performing all it said was, "_Dancers choice_."

This frightened her for a moment because hardly ever did they allow the dancer to choose their routine. That could only mean she was to be a soloist and she was to determine her music and type of dance it would be. She panicked because she had no idea what she should do. She reread the letter and found a paragraph she skipped. It read,

Since you have been away we understand you will not have the time to join one of the group ensembles. In any case, we would be pleased if you would dance solo, which will allow you to choreograph your own piece and come prepared to perform in the show. I must add that we've missed you greatly this fall. Your presence among us as a student and an instructor gave such an uplift to the company and not to mention an inspiration to the younger dancers. Your former students and fellow dancers wish you luck and cannot wait to hear from you again. It's hard when our older students grow up and move on but we always wish them the best. I'm confident in your abilities to capture us once more, as you've always held a certain grace on the stage. So with that being said, we are looking forward to your performance in the fest, if you can make it that is. Look forward to seeing you soon and take care always. Remember; dance like no ones watching.

Signed, _Helen Casey, Director of The Academy of Dance_

Then followed the times of the rehearsals, check-ins and performance schedules. She stared at it blankly for a moment then read the last paragraph again. She couldn't believe it. They actually wanted her to come back and perform. She jumped up from the bed and began pacing back and forth. Aura watched her contently and hooted every once in awhile. After several minutes of debating she wrote a letter back to her former director and stated she would be there and ready to perform.

Seda remained in her room that day instead of heading out to Hogsmeade like she planned. She spent the day writing down a list of songs she could use while sitting on the floor stretching. She actually felt very light hearted because the thought about dancing again made her very happy. She hummed several songs and every time she moved to another room she would attempt a leap or a pirouette.

She knew that every minute she spent practicing would count so at midnight she slipped out of her rooms and down to the empty hall she used before. She continued to do this every night for a week. Luckily she went unnoticed in her midnight rehearsals, or so she thought anyway.

* * *

She was thankful that the weekend finally came where the holiday break started. It was the Saturday before Christmas, which was actually exactly one week away. That morning all the students left for their homes except for the very few who stayed at Hogwarts, which wasn't many. There were maybe five or six students who remained, including her self. She decided to stay at Hogwarts until the night of the convention because it would be easier for her to travel there then from her house in America.

The castle was quite empty actually. Several of the teachers had gone away too. The only ones who remained were Dumbledore, McGonagall, Hagrid, Trelawney, Madame Pomfrey and Snape. Lupin explained to her that he was going on holiday somewhere in Italy. He finally had the opportunity to go so he was. He also said he would look forward to seeing her at the convention.

She smiled at the memory of how excited he seemed about going to Italy. She liked Lupin very much. In a way he was almost like a friend and not another professor. They got along extremely well and he always offered her help with her studies. She would have never guessed he was a werewolf if it wasn't for the obvious signs. She didn't mind though.

Now that the castle was nearly empty she had more time to rehearse through out the day. It was much better then waiting until midnight when hopefully everyone was asleep. She wanted to get in as much practice as she could. The holiday spirit was definitely increasing her energy though. She noted that the castle seemed to be more enchanting now since it was covered with decorations. She noticed before but never appreciated how magnificent it truly was. It made her smile for no reason.

Seda had a filling lunch. Since she had been more upbeat lately from all the dancing she increased her appetite. Not only did she eat more but also more cheerful and bubbly. She was always pleasant but she was extra considerate with all the wonderful feelings inside her. Usually when she had looked at him in previous weeks she would scowl on the inside but lately she was starting to enjoy his company again. She didn't know why but she sort of missed him in some strange way.

As she walked bouncily out of the hall Dumbledore walked over to Severus who was finishing the last of his meal.

"Severus, care for a drink?" He asked with that twinkle in his eye. Severus knew that even though the old man was asking politely it was more of a polite command that he join him. Undoubtedly so he could pester him about something that wasn't very interesting. Reluctantly Severus followed the old man to the staff room for a bloody, dreaded drink.

"What will you have?" Dumbledore asked as Severus sat down in an armchair. If he was going to be talked to death then he might as well get comfortable.

"Scotch." He said dryly.

"Ah, good choice. McGonagall?"

"No drink for me Albus, thank you." She said as she read through some sort of papers.

He nodded and then twirled his wand in the air. A moment later a bottle of Scotch and two glasses appeared on the table in front of the fireplace. He poured a glass for Severus and him self then sat back in the chair.

Severus took a swig of the drink and downed it like water. This may have seemed too strong for another but his years of being a Death Eater and a Potions Master had helped him gain dominance over the vile drink. It actually calmed him many a night. He was no alcoholic but every man needed his share of a strong drink when the time called for it.

Dumbledore smiled softly before he drank his own share of the drink. "Your plans are going well then I assume, Severus." He said softly.

"As well as it calls for I suppose." He said dryly again. Here we go, he thought timidly to himself. The man was getting to something. He knew it.

"Good." He let the silence linger for a moment. He knew this would annoy his potions master. "Have you decided on who you will be escorting?" He added.

McGonagall glanced up for a moment and looked between the two men. She returned her focus to her papers just as quickly.

"I will be escorting myself, Headmaster." He said, trying not to show his irritation.

"Surely as a recipient you don't plan on attending alone, Severus." The old man continued to smile softly.

Severus had to hold back his highly amused laugh. Instead he did it inside his head. He knew it. The old man had dragged him here so he could plot out how to score him a date to the convention. He knew it had to come to something like this. It never failed.

"I can assure you that I will most certainly be attending alone. I do not desire an accompanist since I will unwillingly be in the company of thousands all ready." He said sourly. He took another swig from his glass.

"Solitariness shouldn't be such a constant pleasure, Severus."

"Solitariness _is_ to be alone, Headmaster. One wouldn't choose it for so long if it wasn't enjoyable." He replied smartly.

"Oh I wouldn't say that, Severus. I don't think any one chooses it for enjoyment purposefully. It's just a temporary shell is all and sometimes the shell needs to be left behind." He smiled again as he took another sip of his drink.

Severus was getting rather annoyed by his smugness. It was insanely annoying. "Are you saying that I am hiding in a shell, Headmaster?" He spoke through his teeth.

"Not if you don't think so, Severus." His eyes twinkled. McGonagall had to raise the paper over her mouth to stifle a grin.

Severus could have poisoned him at that moment. Instead he gripped the glass tighter, almost trying to break it with his bare hands. He wasn't going to reply. He was going to sit there and pretend he had gone temporarily deaf.

"I believe Miss Wood is feeling better. She seems rather refreshed lately." McGonagall said from behind the papers.

Severus continued to down his drink until it was empty. He gripped the empty glass firmly in his hand wishing her wasn't sitting there listening to them babble.

"It seems the dreams have finally decided to drift away. I wonder why that is." She said knowing exactly why indeed, or so she thought she was right anyway.

"I don't think the dreams have left her fully, Minerva. They might be subdued for awhile but they may come back." Dumbledore said, finishing his own drink.

"And why is that, Albus?" She said looking out from behind the papers.

"Because she doesn't understand them yet." Snape's voice was low.

Minerva turned her attention to Snape while Dumbledore smiled to himself.

"Is that so? And what more is there to understand that she doesn't know all ready?" She said, getting flustered.

"Dreams are of a very complex nature, obviously if they keep coming back then they are trying to tell her something. It could be a warning or it could be a simple thought but either way it shouldn't be dismissed so easily." His voice was very calm.

She turned her head back towards Dumbledore. She finally set the papers down on the table and lowered her eyes over her glasses.

"What are you saying, Albus? That you encourage the potions use to continue? Haven't we seen enough of her trauma with the effect of that… _poison_? Obviously since the sessions have ended she has regained her normal behavior and is healthy once more."

She was not going to be overruled. She was a stubborn Gryffindor and she would not have it. But she forgot that she was dealing with a brilliant and slightly mad old Gryffindor and a clever and cunning Slytherin. It would be quite a battle but she was prepared to fight for Seda's best interest.

"We all have the girl's best interest at thought, Minerva, but sometimes you have to push through the unknown to gain an understanding once and for all." His voice was still calm.

"Then why do you think she's been acting more content lately? And don't tell me it's just the holiday spirit." She said shortly.

"She could be acting normally again for plenty of other reasons, Minerva, and maybe some we don't know of… yet." He said still smiling. His eyes shifted in Snape's direction.

"Whatever you say, Albus, but I shall not try to convince you again if she ever breaks down finally." She picked up her papers dramatically and placed them forcefully in front of her once more.

"Oh, I don't think it's a matter of convincing. It's a matter of time." His twinkled. He looked over at Severus who was trying to remain calm. "As a matter of fact, Severus, I believe you made quite a discovery with a particular session. Any thoughts on what it means yet?" He was saying this not because he didn't know himself but because he wanted the man to speak up.

"It _was_ quite the discovery, Headmaster, but it hasn't happened since so think nothing of it." He said trying to end the conversation.

"As I said, it's a matter of time." He set his glass down on the table. "So as I understand it," he folded his hands in his lap, "you haven't told us who you are escorting yet." He smiled, trying to contain the laughter in his head.

"I thought we decided I was escorting no one." He said, clenching his jaw.

"You decided, not we." McGonagall said from behind the papers again.

His eyes flashed like they always did when he was about to blow steam.

"You know Severus, I believe Miss Wood is also attending alone." He paused. "I should think it will be very awkward for her to navigate the convention alone her first time. Don't you think so?" He was evilly smug.

"Slow breaths, Severus, slow breaths" he was telling himself in his head.

"Why don't you escort Miss Wood to the convention, Severus? I'm sure she won't mind." McGonagall spoke again from behind the papers. She said this merely as a challenge to see if he would actually do it.

"I believe Miss Wood will enjoy herself better with out my company." His tone was dry.

"I don't know, Severus, it's a rather large party. She might like a familiar face for company." Dumbledore added.

"Exactly. There will be plenty of other people for her to mingle with."

"But hardly any she knows." Dumbledore spoke again, not giving up.

"Then why don't _you_ escort her?" He snapped.

"Because… I'm not the one in need of a date." He finished royally.

Severus opened his mouth to reply some unpleasant words but then he forced it shut. He stood from the chair and headed for the door. "I have work to do," he muttered then left the room, letting the door slam behind him.

He walked rather briskly to his office and blasted the door open with out using his wand. He had barely sat down when his fireplace roared to life and a piece of parchment came floating out towards him. With a roll of his eyes he reached out and snatched it. He looked down at the elegant scribble and read,

"_If it helps… she's been rehearsing in the side hall around midnight. Have a good day, Severus_."

Rehearsing? He rolled up the parchment and threw it across the room. The old man was more then insanely irritating he was like a burden the size of Jupiter. Severus sat there for a while thinking about everything they had just talked about. Why was it so important that he escorted someone to the convention? Then a thought came to him. Why was it so important that he escort _her_? He had no idea and began grading papers.

* * *

Seda had been rehearsing again in the empty hall since ten o'clock. She figured that if she practiced through out the day then she could give it up during the night but she was wrong. The more time she spent away from it the more she desired it. So that is what motivated her to continue her midnight rehearsals.

It was a little bit after midnight and she was really into her concentration. So much she didn't notice the presence of another body by the door.

He didn't know why he was there but now that he was he couldn't walk away. Once before he had interrupted her midnight frolic and was highly amused by her movements. The same went for that moment; her movements amused him, again.

There she was, dancing to the silence like a wild spirit. Her hair was pulled neatly back into a bun yet several strands fell out of place. She wore a black leotard this time with an elegant and very short sheer skirt tied loosely around her waist. Her legs seemed to extend extravagantly with the added length of her pink, satin shoes laced up around her ankles. It was quite the sight to see. Her rosy cheeks beamed out from her pale skin as her arms moved gracefully in sync with her legs. She was incredibly graceful.

"We meet here again," he said, finally finding his voice.

She fell out of her pirouette and turned to him quickly. She was surprised any one was there. How could she not notice someone come in? She tried to catch her breath.

"I… didn't know anyone was here." She said, obviously not knowing what to do. She wiped a strand out of her eyes. They stood there looking at each other; nearly fifty feet apart and still felt the heat radiating from the other.

"I see you are practicing again. For pleasure I take it." He spoke softly but his voice still echoed around the gigantic room.

"Well yes, in a way, but not really." She said, looking down at the floor.

"What do you mean not really?" He asked curiously.

She took a deep breath and then turned away from him. She rose up onto her toes and began walking around in a circle, her feet moving extremely fast, or known as a bourree.

"I'm rehearsing for a show I'm going to be in." She said as her arms began to rise above her head in an arc. "I haven't trained in six months so I've been practicing on my own." The panting breath she let out mixed with her words.

"What sort of show?"

"It's the annual _Winter Dance Fest _held through out New England. I've been in it every year since I was ten and I'm not going to miss it this year either. It's an honor to be asked to perform so," she stopped moving but remained on her toes, "I have to be perfect." Her arms dropped to her sides gracefully.

"I see." He wasn't sure what else to say so he simply stared at her.

She came down off her toes and put her hands on her hips gently. "Look… this means a lot to me so… if you are going to give me detention then please let me serve it after break. I don't have the time to stray away from rehearsing." She didn't seem irritated but concerned that whatever he was going to do should wait until after.

He was slightly surprised by this. She obviously thought she knew him well enough to accept a detention before he issued it. She was wrong though and he smirked to himself.

"Actually I was not intending to give you detention but if you should like one then it can be arranged." He said seriously.

She held up a hand to make him stop from saying anything else. "No… it's… no, never mind. I don't want one." She laughed slightly.

She laughed? She actually laughed. "You find that amusing do you?"

"Well, no. I just thought you came here to give me detention for being out or something. I didn't know you had other reasons." She laughed again. Every time she laughed her chest would contract slightly, showing off the delicate curve of her shoulders.

Why was she laughing? This was bothering him. "You are still laughing. Do you find my intentions laughable, Miss Wood?"

She stopped laughing, as she said, "no." A grin was still shining across her face as she shifted her weight onto her left foot. "But… what _are_ your intentions?" She asked as she crossed her arms delicately.

"I'm not sure I should tell you or you may end up laughing again and then this will have been utterly pointless." He folded his own arms inside his robes. Wait a moment, he thought. What exactly was he talking about? He didn't even know. He hadn't really come here to talk to her; he just wanted to see if she would be there. That was a moment where he would have hit himself if he weren't with anyone else.

"I'm not laughing, see?" She pointed to herself in a child like way. "Well are you going to tell me or not because I really need to…"

"Miss Wood… could you refrain from jumping out of your skin for one second?" He said sharply and she crossed her arms again. He looked around then back to her. "Is there a reason why we are talking at a fifty foot distance?"

She smiled and said, "Well I was the one who was practicing and you are the one who waltzed in here and chained himself to the door." She smirked.

"Miss Wood… I thought I told you before that I do not dance. So stating that I waltzed in here would be a false assumption. And I have not chained myself to the wall, see?" He stepped aside and gestured that there were no chains binding him at that distance.

She grinned for a moment and then she bit her lip quickly. She was remembering that morning in her shower when he clearly stated he couldn't dance. It was quite a memory. She snapped out of it then said, "Well are you going to tell me or not because I'm wasting valuable time here." She said but she was still grinning.

She rose up onto her toes again and began to do a series of turns towards him. She used his face as her spotting mark and stopped with less then a few feet between them. "Is this close enough now?" She said, panting slightly.

He raised an eyebrow. "Impressive, Miss Wood." He sounded almost sincere.

"Practice makes perfect, professor." She smiled. Then she waited for him to say whatever it was he wanted to say in the first place. He seemed to remember when she cleared her throat. Her eyes were sparkling as they often did.

"I've been told that you are attending the convention… alone. Is that correct?" He said, staring down at her.

"Yes," she answered slowly. He could see every strand of hair out of place now. He wanted to push them aside but he didn't.

"It was made as a suggestion that since I am also going alone… it would be logical for us to attend together." He said, continuing to stare at her intensely.

She didn't say anything but tilted her head forward as if asking what about it.

"It's ridiculous but perhaps if you… agreed… it will cause the pestering to die down." He finished firmly as if he were commanding her to do this.

She didn't know what to say. She had a feeling that he possibly wanted to ask her of his own free will but used the suggestion as an excuse to actually do it. She didn't know what to think either. He was staring at her so intensely that she lost track of her thoughts.

"Well?" He said aggressively.

She snapped out of it. "Well what?" She asked innocently.

He sneered and then turned around as he said, "Miss Wood, if you cannot answer a simple…" She stopped him by pulling his arm.

"No… I… I'll go… with you I mean." He turned towards her again, narrowing his eyes at her annoying process. She smiled. "I just didn't know you were actually asking me."

"Subtleties, Miss Wood." He looked at her deeply. "We will leave at seven o'clock Thursday evening. Don't be late or I _will _leave with out you and you will have to find your own way there." He said sternly. She nodded quickly.

"Good night, Miss Wood." He walked away.

"Good night… Severus." She said softly so no one but her could hear it.

**A/N: **Forgive me if there are any horrible spelling and grammer mistakes but I wrote this chapter so fast it made my head spin. I was on such a role that I couldn't stop writing and I didn't until I finished. You'll notice that I updated three times within a week so that should satisfy you all, I hope. Well I do hope you enjoyed it and stay tuned for the next chapter. Shouldn't be too long. Toodles!


	45. Angel on the Stairs

Hello all of you out there! I am so pumped up with this story right now you couldn't possibly imagine! Woo! Ok let's get to it… I'm really excited! Toodles!

Seda woke up Sunday morning quite early, even though she hadn't gone to bed until one o'clock. Something about the day seemed exciting, she didn't know what but she just couldn't sleep any longer. She realized that since she had been focusing on her practicing she hadn't thought about what she would wear to the convention, or what they do where exactly. Who was she going to ask? Then it came to her. She dashed from the bed and wrote a very fast letter to Hermione and sent it off with Aura.

In the mean time she showered and went down to breakfast. She was surprised when she entered the Great Hall because no one was in there except Dumbledore. He was sitting at the staff table gazing up at the ceiling as if he either had no worries in the world or he was heavily concentrating on something. It was hard to tell with him.

"Good Morning, Professor Dumbledore." She said happily as she sat down.

He looked at her and smiled, "Good Morning, Miss Wood. You are up rather early."

"I couldn't sleep so I just got up." She began pouring coffee.

"Ah," is all he said. He waited several minutes until he added, "I'm certain you will enjoy the convention. It's quite a gathering." He was sipping his drink.

"Oh yes… I'm really looking forward to it actually. This is going to be my first wizarding event." She thought about Snape for a split moment and couldn't help but smile unknowingly. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

"It would be a shame if you attended by yourself, Miss Wood. It would be so much more enjoyable for you if some one could show you around." He added as if he knew nothing.

She blushed for a second, quickly taking a sip from her coffee. She bit her lip and said, "Actually I'm not going alone… anymore." She said softly.

"Oh very good. You'll be arriving with a friend I assume." He smiled.

She looked down at her plate and began spreading butter on her toast while she replied, "Well its not really a friend but… Professor Snape suggested I join him." She felt awkward saying this actually. Now she spoke it aloud it seemed weird.

"Oh did he?" His eyes twinkled again, his smile getting bigger. "That was friendly of him." He felt the urge to chuckle but he didn't.

She didn't know how to reply so she just said, "yes," and went back to her toast and coffee. It was silent for a little while until the sound of flapping wings echoed around the hall. She looked up just as Aura came fluttering down with a letter in her beak. She took it and Aura flew off again. It was from Hermione, no doubt.

I am going to floo in to your rooms at eight. Then we can talk. See you soon!

Signed, _Hermione_

Seda looked at her watch. It was already five minutes to eight. She abandoned her food and coffee, ran around the table and out the hall as she yelled, "Have a good day, Professor!"

Snape was just walking up from the dungeons as he saw Seda dash up the stairs, apparently in a hurry. He watched her for a moment then continued into the hall for breakfast. As he sat down Dumbledore continued looking up at the ceiling.

"I've been informed that Miss Wood and yourself both have dates to the convention." He said without looking down but smiled. Snape ignored him with a scowl and began eating his sausage. News really does travel fast in that school.

Seda made it to her rooms a minute before Hermione flooed in to the bedroom.

"Hello," she said as Hermione brushed the ash from her clothes.

"Good to see you," she replied. She walked towards Seda and said, "So I suppose you need some advice?" She smiled.

"Yeah. I have no idea what to wear. What _do_ you wear anyway?"

"Dress robes and whatever you like underneath. Usually something that matches though."

Seda nodded. "Well I bought some at the beginning of term but… I don't know which one would be appropriate."

"Well come on then. Let's get started because we might have to go in to Hogsmeade for any other essentials you need." She said as she pulled Seda into the bedroom by the elbow. She was more excited than Seda was.

Seda pulled open her wardrobe and Hermione began pulling out some of her robes. She looked at the two she had; a midnight blue in satin and a dark pink in crushed velvet. Hermione stared at the two for quite awhile saying "hmmm" over and over.

"Would you mind trying them on?" Hermione said to Seda. Seda shook her head and slipped on the pink one first. It looked very pretty and luxurious as it floated around her. Hermione didn't seem too thrilled so Seda took it off and slipped the blue one on. The satin seemed to fall like liquid around Seda's form, making her appear extremely elegant.

"Hmm," Hermione said again. Seda just stood there and waited for her to say something else. She took hold of the fabric in her fingers and said, "Well I like the satin one better but… I think it's a bit too dark. I want you to stand out a bit more, it's almost black."

Seda looked down and said, "Yeah. I think you're right. I might blend in with Snape next to me," with out realizing what she said. She continued to twirl around in the robe until Hermione realized what she said.

"What?" She said shocked.

"What?" Seda looked up and realized. "Oh… um… I forgot to tell you. Snape is escorting me there. He just asked me, well sort of, last night."

"Did he?" Hermione's eyes went wide. "I… didn't think he would even go this year. He has only been there once since I started going… but… wow." She said breath taken.

Seda put her hands on her hips and said, "And what are you so taken by?"

"Well… I'm just really surprised that's all. Snape has never been the type to… well you know… socialize much so… well it's great any how, really." She smiled. Seda just gave her a very confused look as if Hermione was losing it. Hermione suddenly brightened up.

"Oh dear… if you are going to attend with Snape then… we will really have to make you stand out. You want to look exquisite in front of him, don't you?"

"Hermione… I'm not going with him because… well because I just want to be with him. He nearly insisted I do to keep the pestering down but… well I'm not trying to impress him." She was getting tongue-tied.

Hermione watched her for a moment. "Oh shut up. You will probably be a bundle of nerves when the time comes to see him anyway and you know you want to look incredible. Especially if you want him to keep his eyes off other women." She smirked.

"What other women?" Seda replied rather sharply.

"I knew that would work. Now come on, we need to make a stop in Hogsmeade." Seda just gave her a skeptical look and nodded. Hermione started putting the robes back in the wardrobe when she said, "What's this?" as she pulled out a black dress.

Seda looked at the black silk dress and said, "Oh, it's just a dress I brought. I've never worn it." She remembered buying this dress. She fell in love with it and had to buy it. It was like a cocktail dress. It was short and came up to six inches above her knees and the skirt flared out slightly but it was elegant. It was nearly strapless except for the two strings beaded with tiny crystals that tied around her neck. The back of the dress draped to about the same height as her ribs, where the material hung loosely like an old forties style dress. The entire hemline was stitched with black beads that seemed barely visible unless the light hit them and they shined like diamonds. It was a beautiful party dress.

Hermione had insisted that Seda try it on and after a debate Seda finally gave in and put it on. When Hermione turned around her mouth nearly dropped to the floor.

"Oh my… Merlin all mighty!" Hermione walked forward slowly. "Seda! You have to wear that! No, no… I am _making_ you wear that!" She reached out a hand to touch her but was afraid to. She thought she would wrinkle her or something.

"Hermione I can't wear this! I'm supposed to wear dress robes!" She said trying to make Hermione come back to earth.

"Oh… you can wear it underneath. You aren't going to want to wear your robe all night anyway, it gets hot."

"Erm… oh… fine. But can I take this off now? I don't want to ruin it." Hermione nodded and five minutes later Seda was dressed again and they left her rooms for Hogsmeade.

* * *

They walked around Hogsmeade for hours, going in several shops looking for the perfect dress robe. It was exhausting actually because pushing through the snow and cold was quite tiring. They weren't having any luck finding the perfect robe yet so they decided to stop for a butterbeer. They ended up ordering lunch and sat there for almost an hour talking about why they stopped the sessions and so forth. Finally they paid and went in search for more shops. 

They finally came across a little shop towards the end of the village and optimistically stepped inside.

"Hello dears," called a little old witch from a counter. She had to be around Dumbledore's age at least but she was the perfect little grandma type of witch. She was quite adorable actually.

"How can I help you today?" She said as she came walking toward them with a smile on her face.

"We've been walking around all morning trying to find the perfect dress robe but I can't seem to find the right one." Seda said, finally getting tired of shopping.

"Well maybe you've come to the right place. Follow me dear." The old witch said and began walking to the back. She pulled out several varieties and tossed them in Seda's arms. Soon she had a pile above her head and she couldn't see where she was going.

It seemed like hours again that she tried on robe after robe but they just couldn't seem to find the one that made every one smile. Getting down to the last of her hope Seda pulled out a deep red robe made of silk, funnily enough the same material as her dress. She slipped it on and immediately it went silent. Hermione and the old witch stared at her, unable to say anything.

"I think we've found it my dearest." The old witch said as she turned Seda around to look in the mirror. Seda looked up at her self and was breath taken.

The cut of the robe flattered her extremely well and it flowed down to the floor like water. It was lined with tiny crystals, like her dress, along the hem of the sleeves, neck, front lining and bottom of the robe. It had a small sash-like wrap that tied around her back elegantly. The neckline was deep and came to the top of her chest with a collar lined in subtle gold threads that extended all the way down the robe in a swirly pattern, yet hardly noticeable unless you were close. Satisfied that this was the one, she paid for it and thanked the witch several times until Hermione dragged her out.

Seda returned to the castle and was exhausted from shopping all day in the snow. She soaked in the bathtub for a long time until she was beyond pruney. That night she continued rehearsing however and it wasn't surprising to say that she continued rehearsing every day until Thursday.

* * *

Thursday morning she woke a little later then usual. She deserved a lie in from all the practicing she had been doing. She felt confident in her routine now that she knew exactly which song she wanted and choreographed half the dance all ready. As soon as she got home it would be rehearsing all over again. 

She spent most of the morning packing her things she needed to bring home and layed out her dress, robe and shoes on the bed. She was quite fond of those shoes actually. They were a short, black heel but buckled around her ankle and had two straps on the toe like flip-flops. The best part of them was that along the toe and ankle straps they were lined with actual rhinestones and sparkled every time the light touched them. Looking at them one last time she was satisfied and headed down to lunch. It was rather subdued she thought considering the convention was only hours away. She thought it was odd but then she remembered they had been there before and were used to it by now.

Three o'clock came and Hermione arrived in to help Seda with her hair. Since Hermione was an expert with charms so she could provide better results than Seda could. They spent nearly an hour and a half trying different dos but none of them seemed to be that great. Finally after a few more tries Seda was thrilled with one. They had charmed it into a half-up, half-down head of sleek, bouncy curls. The top half was twisted back into a stunning knot but the ends hung loose in curls. The bottom half was curled to perfection and shined like satin. They were both very happy with the result.

"Oh Hermione it's… gorgeous. It's just perfect. Thank you so much." She was beaming.

"It's not a problem. Now I've thrown in a few extra sticking charms so it stays in place but I doubt it will go any where." She was looking over her work one last time to check for any misplaced curls or loose strands of hair.

"Well… I guess you should be getting ready your self. I didn't mean to take so long."

"Don't worry about it. I can do my hair and get dressed in a matter of minutes. I've become an expert at last minute doings thanks to Ron and his procrastinating."

"Well thanks again though. I mean it. I hope I get to see you tonight."

"I hope we run into each other too but there are thousands and thousands of people at this convention so it may be difficult to find each other. But if I don't see you have a wonderful time and," she grinned, "try not to take his breath away too much or else he won't be able to walk."

"I'll try, thanks." She said sarcastically.

"Oh and good luck with your performance. You'll be wonderful."

With a last hug she vanished through the fireplace and Seda was left alone to pace back and forth until the convention started. The closer seven o'clock came the more nervous she felt. It was like waiting backstage to perform. The butterflies were making her nauseous, but she held on and tried to relax. She didn't know why she was so nervous she just was.

* * *

At a quarter to seven Severus exited his private chambers and made his way up to the Entrance Hall. He was dressed in his usual black attire but they were slightly newer and more luxurious looking. He waited in front of the stairs and faced the wide double doors with his arms crossed. She had ten minutes until he was going to leave. 

He waited a long five minutes and was growing impatient. It felt like an hour practically because he was anxious to get to the dreaded convention and then leave as soon as he could. He was just about to march up to her rooms and tell her to hurry up when he turned around and stopped. He felt like he was frozen in time for a moment.

She was at the top of the grand staircase in the Entrance Hall, looking down at him like she was some sort of heavenly creature. She stood there like a vision from a dream, almost too beautiful to seem real. It was like a scene from a movie because she was radiant and he was speechless. Every sound around him seemed to fade away and all of his thoughts were narrowed in on her presence. He couldn't help it because she naturally drew the attention to her like a magnet. Then she slowly began to descend the steps, her hand resting gently on the banister and she was gliding.

She nearly felt breath taken when she saw him. All her nerves leading up to that moment were nothing any more after she saw him. Her thoughts seemed to fly away and all she cared about now was getting closer to him. She felt like Cinderella or someone because he was watching her come down the stairs with a look of determination and amazement on his face. She had never seen him so dazed and yet more concentrated ever before.

The whole time she came nearer to him she kept thinking to her self not to fall, not to fall and not to fall again. That's all she needed was to ruin this moment by her tripping and tumbling down the stairs. After all, who said dancers weren't clumsy when they were off the stage? In fact all dancers are the biggest klutzes on the earth when they are off stage. The stage is a whole other world actually.

He stared at her intensely as she came closer and closer and closer. Every step she took was held with poise and a stature like a sophisticated royalty of some sort. His heart began to beat faster as she neared, her scent beginning to drift to his nose and carrying him off somewhere he didn't know. He tried hard not to blink in fear she might vanish if he did. He didn't want to attend with anyone but that was before he realized how unbelievable she would look. He knew no one would even pay attention to him with her next to him, which was fine because he did not desire attention.

She held his stare with one of her own mesmerizing gazes and she never looked away from him for a moment. She finally reached the second to last step and paused. They were at the same height now and they continued to look at each other deeply, unable to move or speak. It was so silent one could almost hear the pounding in their chests, every beat quickening its pace. Then slowly she smiled, softly and nervously, not sure what to say.

He couldn't remember how to speak for a moment; he had never been like this in all his life. One who knew Snape very well could say this was the oddest and most unnatural behavior they had ever seen because he was not one to be tongue-tied. Her eyes were shining at him with a dazzling blue like never before and he had to swallow before he could even attempt to say something. They were both saved the trouble because sweeping out from behind Snape was Dumbledore. He almost came from nowhere, unless neither of them noticed him arrive.

"Ah, Miss Wood, you are looking absolutely lovely tonight." She heard him but didn't look away from Snape's face. Dumbledore noticed and smiled. "The carriages have arrived Severus. When ever you are ready." His eyes twinkled and Seda finally looked at him. Then Severus turned to face the old man.

"Yes, we should get going." He said coming out of his daze.

Seda looked back at Snape momentarily as if waiting for something. Dumbledore noticed her behavior again and quickly offered his hand to her. She took it with a smile and descended the last of the steps. He gave her hand over to Snape who looked from her to Dumbledore. Slowly he gave his left arm to her right hand. She couldn't tell by the look on Snape's face because it was completely indifferent and free of emotion, but she saw Dumbledore beaming from behind his beard and she felt happy.

"Have a wonderful evening, Miss Wood." He said softly then Snape led her out the front doors and into the night.

McGonagall came down from the stairs and was staring after the two walking outside. She reached the landing and quickly walked up beside Dumbledore who was still watching them exit the doors. When they were down the steps and gone from view he looked at McGonagall with a smile on his face.

"Getting along well, aren't they Albus." She said still staring out the doors.

"If you would call it that, Minerva." He said smugly.

"Albus," she looked at him quickly, "you think it a good idea for them to attend together?" She looked nervous.

"Why Minerva, it was your idea after all." He said as if he was completely shocked by her question, but he was being sarcastic.

She raised her eyebrows. "Albus, it was your idea, not mine."

"I only mentioned that Miss Wood was attending alone. You are the one who suggested they go together." He smiled and looked at her over his glasses.

She pursed her lips and undoubtedly cursed him inside her head. Then she suddenly let a smile come across her face. "They do look lovely together, I must say."

"Indeed," he said and they both turned to look out the doors for several minutes before they both exited them selves.

The night was cold and crisp but it wasn't windy. The sky above them was clear and the stars beamed down at them like dewdrops. The path had been cleared of snow towards the carriage drop off but it was still cold. She shivered slightly and instinctively held his arm tighter, causing her to move closer to him. He pulled out his wand slyly and muttered a spell. She suddenly felt warmer and she looked at him.

"Thanks," she said quietly but he just walked forward, only shifting his eyes in her direction for a moment. They reached the carriages that pulled the students up to the castle from Hogsmeade. When she saw the creature that pulled it she said, "What is that?" She didn't know what to think.

"Thestrals. They pull the school carriages." He looked down at her when they stopped in front of their carriage. "I'm assuming you can see them."

"Well, yeah. Am I not supposed to?" She looked confused.

"Those who can see Thestrals have seen death, Miss Wood. So, no, not every one can see them." Clearly she had never heard of a Thestral before.

"Oh," she said and looked away from him. He opened the door to the carriage and gestured her to get in. She sat down next to the window, folded her hands in her lap and gazed out at the sky. When Snape was seated across from her the carriage took off. She sat quietly for a few minutes until he actually broke the silence.

"Who was it?" He asked quietly. She continued to stare out at the sky, watching it shimmer as they passed.

"My best friend. She died of cancer when we were in high school." She paused and took a deep breath. "I sat with her mom the night she died, watching her slowly disappear into a never ending sleep." She swallowed hard. "It was peaceful though. She had been suffering for a long time so it was fortunate she went in her sleep." She took a quivering breath and was silent for a long time, staring up at the sky out the window.

He watched her from the corner of his eyes and saw a tear softly fall down her face minutes later. It was just a single tear but it held a great deal of emotion. He didn't say anything else for quite awhile. It had to be at least ten minutes of silence when she spoke.

"How far is it?" She asked, finally looking at him.

"By carriage it's half an hour from Hogwarts. We're nearly there." He said not sounding enthusiastic at all. She nodded her head. She was dying to ask something but she was afraid to do it. After a minute she finally spoke up.

"You can see them too, can't you?" Her voice was soft and unsure.

"Obviously," he said, looking out the window.

"Well… I was just wondering… who…" She couldn't finish.

He finally looked at her seriously and said, "I used to be a Death Eater, Miss Wood." His voice sounded full of disgust. He stared at her for a long moment then turned his head towards the window again. "I don't think we need to discuss the details."

She watched him for a moment then turned her own head towards the window. It was silent again until they arrived. The carriage started to slow down as they went up a winding path towards a building that seemed more like a mansion. Her eyes went wide.

This place was nearly the size of Hogwarts except it didn't have all the towers and things. The building was probably the size of two football fields wide and tall. It was magnificent. It looked ancient and surreal. There were enormous columns in the front like colonial style homes and huge double doors like Hogwarts. It was structured from stone and marble and lights were shining against it like spotlights. It was truly beautiful and she felt like a celebrity arriving at a ball.

The carriage pulled up behind a line of other carriages where hundreds of witches and wizards were stepping out onto the front courtyard. This led to a few steps up to the doors. Finally they stopped and someone opened the door. An older man dressed in dark purple robes offered Seda his hand and she stepped out side onto the ground.

"Evening," he said happily and nodded his head. His eyes lingered on her for a moment then they turned towards Snape who stepped out of the carriage. Snape looked between the two and nodded his head at the old wizard.

"Severus… I wasn't sure if you would show up." He said surprised. Seda wasn't sure if he was being cheerful or not so she just watched.

"Clearly I did." He said then looked at Seda. He began walking towards the door and she hurried up next to him.

Seda looked up and noticed the huge balcony that rested above the front doors, hanging over like a cliff. It was marvelous. She looked over her shoulder and saw the fountain sitting in the middle of the courtyard, more lights beaming up at it. The water that was running out of various figures continually changed colors every few seconds. Then she looked up again and noticed the enchanted candles that were hovering anywhere from twenty to fifty feet above the ground. It was magical and almost too good to be true.

"Impressed?" He said quickly.

"It's amazing." She looked back at him. He didn't say anything so she continued to move forward. They were soon in one of two ques with hundreds of witches and wizards all around them, none she knew. It was loud with the buzzing of talking and laughter.

Several people looked at Snape then over to Seda. Some had amused expressions some looked nervous. Obviously they knew him but they were staring at _her_. She tried to ignore the stares of people around her but couldn't. She was beginning to feel out of place, like she didn't belong.

She leaned in closer to him and said, "People are staring at me." She tried to do this with out moving her mouth. He continued to look forward, oblivious to every one around him but then he smirked slightly.

"They are probably surprised to see me, Miss Wood." He moved forward slightly in the line and continued to stare straight ahead. "And it might help to add that you look stunning." He said this with no emotion what so ever except possibly bored.

She looked up at him quickly and said, "Professor?" obviously taken by surprise. He glanced down at her with a serious expression then looked forward again slowly. She couldn't help but smile slightly and every time they stepped forward she moved a bit closer to him. He noticed this but didn't mention that he did.

They finally got up to the doors several minutes later and were greeted by a witch holding a long parchment with names on it. He spoke, "Severus Snape," and waited for her to check off the list.

"Ah yes, Severus, you are at the first table obviously and your date as well. Enjoy the convention and please step inside. Dinner will be starting in half an hour." She smiled and stepped aside to let them in.

When they walked inside Seda gasped. If the outside was beautiful then she didn't know what to say about the inside. They walked into a grand hall, similar to the one in Hogwarts but this one was much more sophisticated and not to mention bigger. The ceiling rose over a hundred feet high and hanging from the center was a crystal chandelier the size of a car. There was a double staircase that wrapped around up to a third level where there was obviously a corridor. And behind the double staircase was another set of staircases that went up several more floors but where she couldn't see.

Straight ahead of them, underneath the balcony of the double stairs was a room closed off by another set of large, glass French doors. She assumed that had to be the ballroom or something similar. Then on both sides, set back from the double staircase, were three more rooms making a total of seven rooms on the ground floor.

She looked around and noticed it was almost a huge circle. Every thing was set in crème marble and gold trimming. Enormous portraits and tapestries of ancient times hung from the walls fifty feet in the air. More candles were hovering high above them and lit the place like a gold palette glimmering in the sun.

She hadn't noticed but there were hundreds beyond hundreds of people standing in this magnificent hall and many were heading up the double staircase to the third landing. She assumed that's where the dinner hall was since all of them were heading in that direction. She couldn't stop looking around in amazement. She was sure that she was dreaming because she could never have imagined something like this, ever. Now she truly felt like she was at a ball and with that thought she finally recognized music playing from somewhere. It obviously had to be an enchanted orchestra because it sounded like it was coming from nowhere instead of some particular place.

"Are you going to stand there all night?" She heard Snape's voice snap at her.

She came out of her wonderment and said, "This place is incredible. I've never seen anything like it." She was in complete bliss and began to follow him towards the right staircase.

"It's extraordinary but you get used to it. Believe me it doesn't seem big enough when it fills up. There is hardly anyone here yet." His tone was low and matter of fact.

"Goodness," is all she said. They started up the stairs and she was amazed at how detailed they were. No matter where she looked she found something to fascinate her. People all around her were talking excitedly, many in different languages. She never thought she would see so many diverse witches and wizards but now she could. It was more then fascinating it was thrilling.

Finally they stepped onto the third landing and followed suit down the wide aisle into the dining hall. More paintings and ancient objects such as armor and unique treasures lined the walls into the hall. They walked inside and were soon part of a crowd of at least ten thousand people. There were hundreds among hundreds of round tables that seated twenty people, some even elevated on flats rising a hundred feet into the air.

It was very similar to a theatre except instead of rows of seats there were levels of tables. To their right was a staircase that led up to the higher tables and in front of them were fifty or so stairs that led down to the lower tables. Ahead of those tables was a large platform even with the landing they were on now. It was empty except for deep red curtains hanging on the back with spotlights coming at it from all different angles and then here was a single podium in the center with no light upon it.

Severus started to walk down the stairs and Seda followed him, holding onto the polished wooden railing so she wouldn't fall. She looked around in wonder, again, not able to believe what she was seeing still. It was like being at a concert yet different in so many ways. They finally descended all the steps and started walking to the front, passing many tables as they did. She hurried to stay by his side, fearing the large number of people might separate them. It was very dim but it was illuminated by one large chandelier, similar to the one in the main hall, and floating orbs of light. It was almost romantic in a sense but she tried not to think that way.

They got to the head table where six witches and wizards were sitting all ready. There were place cards sitting on the table and when they found theirs they sat down. Seda was taken by surprise when Snape actually pulled out her chair for her. He was quite pleasant when he wanted to be.

"Thank you," she said sincerely but he just nodded and sat down on her right side. The tables were lovely. There was a golden colored tablecloth with crème dishes and plates. The utensils were gold and the goblets and wine glasses were pure crystal. The centerpiece was a miniature fountain about two feet high of nymphs and pixies spouting water into a glass basin of floating flowers and live fish of numerous colors.

She looked up at the people across from her and smiled. She had no idea who they were but smiled anyway. She wanted to seem friendly at least. The buzzing of all the talking and laughter was increasing as more and more people filled the gigantic hall. She looked to her left and up at the many levels of platforms that held more tables. It was amazing how big the place was and how much more of an impact it made when you saw it in person. There had to be at least five levels with over a hundred tables each. Simply incredible, there was no other way to describe it.

"Severus, it's been quite a while. I imagine you had more important things in previous years than to make an appearance at the convention." It was a man's voice. "And who is your beautiful young guest?"

He sounded very enthusiastic. Seda turned her head towards the voice immediately, having been brought up. The man she was looking at was about the same age as Snape except he had light brown hair. He was seated next a woman who was quite lovely.

"I hardly make appearances any where, Wilson." He said bluntly. "This is Miss Wood. She came to Hogwarts this year from America." He nodded in her direction. All the eyes at the table drifted in her direction.

The man called Wilson raised his eyebrows and said, "America? Long journey eh? It's a pleasure to meet you." He seemed friendly but sort of put on.

"Uh, nice to meet you also." She smiled not knowing what else to say. She began to feel awkward again. What was she supposed to talk about with these people? She had technically only been involved with the wizarding world for nearly four months and knew hardly anything that would sound fascinating or interesting.

The man started to introduce the people all ready seated at the table and it somewhat went in one ear and out the other. She often glanced at Snape who was staring out at the hall, gazing over the various people. They caught each other's eye several times and looked away quickly. She was getting anxious with his lack of conversation.

"Professor… what is this place?" She asked curiously.

"_The International Gathering Manor. _It was founded over five hundred years ago for events such as this." He said not interested at all. He actually seemed quite bored by all this while she, on the other hand, was about ready to burst with anxiety.

In no time it was eight o'clock and the convention was about to start. By now the hall was filled and it was louder then it was before. Her table was filled completely and she had spent the last ten minutes introducing her self over and over again. She received the same stares or looks of wonder after they saw her seated next to Snape. It was getting annoying really.

Suddenly green sparks were set off above the main platform and the talking was dying down. A woman walked onto the platform and when she spoke her voice boomed across the hall, like she was talking in a microphone.

"Hello to all of you and welcome to the four hundred and seventy-seventh annual _Future of the Wizarding World Convention_. It is a great honor to be here this evening, standing before all of you and presenting the recipients with their awards. This years winners are comprised of various specialties and areas of expertise. It will be a spectacular night and highly intriguing with the variety of demonstrations going to take place. For now let us begin our feast and the ceremony will begin shortly. Thank you all for coming and enjoy your stay." A long applause followed.

She walked off the platform and down to her table, which was the one next to theirs. The talking began to rise again in the hall and soon it was as loud as it was before. Everyone around her began picking up their menus so she did the same. There was a large selection and she had no idea what to choose. It took her several minutes to decide and when she did she put down her menu and waited.

She noticed people around her speaking what they wanted to their plates and was amazed when it appeared before them. She looked at Snape beside her, not sure what to do but he was still looking over his menu. She took a breath and then looked down at her plate. She muttered what she wanted and moments later it appeared.

"Brilliant," she said softly. She took a sip of her wine then began to cut the chicken on her plate. This was all too much for her to take in a night. She was sure that she was going to wake up soon and realize the convention hadn't even started yet. But then he looked over at her for some reason, almost unknowingly, and then she felt awake. One look in his eyes told her everything she ever wanted to know. She looked back at her plate and smiled. This night was going to be truly magical. She knew it.

**A/N: **_I know there wasn't a whole lot of interaction between Severus and Seda but in a way there was. You must understand that I had to write all this so I could get them situated at the convention before the good stuff happens. If I immediately skipped through it all you would have no idea where theyare and what is going on. So therefore it's a necessary evil for some of the boring stuff. But then again there was several hints of things to come, heh! Thanks for understanding! Toodles! (Me "heart" You Kidd!)_


	46. It Always Starts With a Drink

Hey all it's me again! Let me just jump right in with this next one. Toodles!

* * *

Dinner was splendid and extremely filling. It was also quite interesting too because she got know the people near her at their table. The woman she was sitting next to was awarded for her series of books recently published about traveling the world and writing down her discoveries. She had apparently been traveling for seven years and many people thought she just disappeared. Her stories were rather exciting to say it mildly. She got to know several of the others as well but none of their stories were quite as eventful as the woman next to her.

One man was being recognized for his study in Herbology. He had begun to cross breed certain magical plants and came out with a new species used in potion making and treating rare magical diseases. She was somewhat fascinated with the potions aspect of it actually but then it got a tad boring when he went off about each plants distinct markings and things. She began to zone out.

She also realized for the first time that Snape was being recognized for his contributions in the area of potions. She was shocked she didn't realize before but she was too excited with all the commotion to really put it all together. She should have guessed because he seemed to be a brilliant potion maker, hence the title of Potions Master. She had picked up from several people over the course of term that he was responsible for the discovery of many new and rare potions such as Wolfsbane, which he devised in order to make Werewolves tame and harmless during transformation. That is a huge contribution alone because it would be nearly impossible for Lupin to stay around with out it.

After listening to all the other recipients she sort of got the feeling that the person she arrived with seemed to be the most intelligent, or at least his reasons for being awarded in the first place were. They all seemed witty and wise in their own way but she couldn't help but feel a sense of pride as she listened to them discuss his power in potion making. She was certain there were other fantastic potion makers in the world somewhere but the fact that she knew a seemingly well-known one on a personal level made her beam. Maybe this was why she gazed at him admiringly with out knowing she was doing it.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She said, finally getting his attention away from the witch on his right. She was starting to get annoyed with that older witch who seemed to agree with everything Snape was saying, even if she didn't really agree in the first place. It seemed like she was only trying to get Snape on her good side or something absurd. It annoyed Seda very much, especially when she touched him on the arm playfully.

She didn't realize she did it but she narrowed her eyes at the hand that touched his arm, giving it about two seconds to get off before she cursed it. That is what brought her out of her daze; Snape looked at her curiously when she made a disapproving noise that only he could hear. That's when she quickly covered it up with that question.

"I don't believe in showing off my accomplishments, Miss Wood. I thought you knew me somewhat better." He said quietly, still looking at her strangely. She just looked at him, slightly annoyed then turned her head away from him. She crossed her legs under the table and began tapping her foot in the air. Something in her chest rose for an instant but was gone in the next. She didn't think any thing of it.

He didn't know what to make of that and turned his attention back to the witch next to him. She was steadily talking his ear off and he felt a headache coming on. She was ridiculous actually. Every time he made a comment about his opinion she would agree with him, even if she were contradicting her self. He found it irritating and immature, considering she was a middle-aged witch and should learn to think for her self. She was a Hufflepuff no doubt he thought to him self.

At nine o'clock another set of green sparks lit up the hall and the same witch that talked before made her way onto the platform and stood behind the podium.

"Hello again. I believe by now we have had our fill and it's time to move on to better things." There was murmur of laughter momentarily. "At this time I'd like to acknowledge the members of the _International Wizarding_…"

Seda closed her eyes for a moment and missed what she said. She was mentioning a bunch of names now and people were clapping after each name. Seda opened her eyes and tried to concentrate on what she was saying.

"Yes, yes… this group of people has been working together… to provide… across the globe… let us thank them once more…"

The room was coming in and out of focus and she was finding it hard to concentrate on what she was saying. There was applause again and then she saw one of the members of her table move onto the platform and stand behind the podium. She tried to blink her eyes several times, hoping that would clear away the pounding in her head. Maybe it was the wine she had, she wasn't sure but what ever it was made her feel dizzy.

She started to feel better once she relaxed and took slow, steady breaths. She watched the members of her table get up one by one and give their speeches and short demonstrations as time ticked away more quickly then usual. She was actually starting to enjoy them now that she was feeling alert after a slight dizzy spell. Soon Snape was up and she watched him intently as he moved towards the podium. She forced her self to give him her full concentration because she did not want miss any of it for any reason.

She was so into his speech that she almost forgot to applaud him when he finished and moved for his demonstration. She just started to notice that she was smiling in adoration the whole time he was speaking. She hoped no one noticed, especially him.

His demonstration was quite unique. He had done a sampling of his selected rare and difficult potions on various animals as testers. The crowd seemed to enjoy it very much because every time he administered a potion and it took affect he would use the corrective potion to turn it back and then the crowd would applaud loudly.

The most interesting aspect of it though was his silent approach that seemed to capture the attention of every person in the hall. Unlike all the other demonstrations he was completely silent and just showed them what he was doing, instead of talk them to death about why he was doing it. He let the silence become his power and he used it to his advantage. It was the most intriguing demonstration to say the least. It was very Snape-like and that is what she found fascinating, he was mysterious and there was definitely no other like him.

He came back to the table and sat down, glancing at her intensely for a moment. Before Seda could even get a chance to make a comment on his demonstration the witch next to him began talking his ear off about _her_ views on it. Snape just sat there and nodded his head occasionally, his attention elsewhere. Seda's eyes went wide slightly when that witch touched him again. She could have sworn there would have been steam puffing out her ears if she was a teapot or something similar. She was giving that witch another two seconds to get her hand away from him before she would make her.

Not knowing how it happened the witch pulled her hand away quickly as if she had touched something very hot. Seda was startled for a moment; she didn't mean to do that. The witch tried to cover her yelp with a little laugh and looked at Snape curiously. It was satisfactory to Seda that the witch hadn't attempted to touch him again. Snape however looked at the witch confused because he clearly had not produced any sudden vibes of extreme heat.

When the witch turned her attention away from him he looked over at Seda. She tried to look innocent as if she had no idea what happened but he narrowed his eyes in a most amused expression. His face otherwise was hard to read but she figured that was a good thing. He stared at her blankly for a long minute and didn't look away until she couldn't handle it and took another sip of her wine, breaking their gaze.

"The little twit," he thought as he looked up to the platform. The last recipient began his speech. "She produced a Scorching Scorn," he said this in his head and almost laughed within his own mind, he didn't though. He was very concerned about the way she was acting. He didn't know if he should be impressed or angry. He tried not to think about it.

The last person to present himself was an older wizard who had discovered the useful properties of dragon fangs, having spent over thirty years in Romania studying the beasts. She knew Dumbledore had uncovered the properties of dragon blood, which was the first real recognition with relations to dragons. She supposed fangs would be the next step all though she wondered how on earth he got them out of their mouths with out getting eaten or burned to death. It was impressive.

It was now a few minutes before ten and the same woman walked back onto the stage.

"Thank you, thank you… all of you. Your demonstrations were exhilarating and highly entertaining. It was a great honor to present each and every one of you with this years awards and we expect to see many more great things from you." There was a short applause and some cheering.

"Now that the recipients have demonstrated their outstanding abilities I would like to formally announce that the booths are now open for viewing. These witches and wizards have agreed to share their fascinating finds and knowledge and will now be more then happy to discuss it with you all. The convention is now open to all areas. The ballroom and the cocktail room will be open until the last wizard drops and the booths will be shutting down around one. Thank you all again for coming and please go enjoy yourselves; there are many things still to venture into. See you back here next year."

When she stepped away from the podium a bang went off like fireworks and music started playing. Coming down from the ceiling were enchanted streamers and confetti that never touched the ground. Every one began talking at once and people everywhere were moving around. It was quite a commotion considering there were tens of thousands of people in one hall. It was almost impossible to hear the person next to you.

She looked over at the door and saw that it was swamped with people heading for the stairs. It would take forever to get out so she figured she might as well sit there for a while and finish her drink. People at her table were standing up and congratulating each other for a job well done. She smiled pleasantly and observed the way they all talked and moved around animatedly. She came out of it when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

"It was nice meeting you dear." It was the witch next to her and she was leaning down so Seda could hear her. Seda stood from her chair and offered her hand.

"It was really nice getting to know you too. Best of luck in your explorations." She smiled. They had to talk rather loudly so they could hear each other.

"Oh thank you, I'm sure I'll find somewhere I haven't explored yet." She shook her hand. "And good luck to you as well in school."

"Thanks," she smiled. The witch walked away towards another table. Seda stood there looking out over the enormous crowd. It was so much to take in that it was overwhelming. She continued to observe because Snape was still talking behind her to a wizard from another table.

"Seda?" She heard someone say. "Seda? Is that you?" She looked around and couldn't find the source of the distant voice. She continued looking around until someone grabbed her shoulder. "It is you!" He said happily. She turned around and saw Harry.

"Harry!" She said excitedly. "It's good to see you!" She smiled widely.

"I didn't recognize you at first. Forgive me for saying but you look amazing." He was talking loud too since it was very hard to hear anything.

She blushed for a moment. "Thanks and you look nice too." She nodded at his dark green robes, detailed with gold thread.

"I was sitting over at table three and I wasn't sure if that was you or not. So I came over to find out." He smiled then paused. "Erm… did you come with Snape? I noticed he was sitting next to you." His expression slowly began to drop from a smile to a near frown.

"Yes, I did actually. We were both going to attend alone so we thought it better to just come together. I mean we were arriving from the same place so…" She wasn't sure if she should continue to smile or not. Harry looked at her blankly for a moment then began talking again.

"Err… would you like me to show you around or is he going to? I know you've never been here before so I thought," he stopped.

"Well… I don't know when he's leaving and I think…" she stopped when Harry looked away from her to someone behind her. She turned and looked up at Snape.

"Potter," he said looking at him carefully.

"Sir," Harry nodded.

Seda continued to look between the two. There was a tension between them and it was sort of energizing.

"Unique demonstration sir. I see you finished researching that latest ingredient."

"Clearly," he said. He was still eyeing Harry questionably. "I noticed you zoned in on Miss Wood here, Potter, knowing how many of your other intriguing little friends are also here." He said coolly, not really offering an exact tone. Harry narrowed his eyes for a moment.

"Well I was just offering to show her around. I haven't planned on stealing her." He smiled sarcastically but his tone was getting bitter. He was starting to see the status Snape held over Seda as he stood there behind her like that. It was starting to make sense in his mind now about what Seda mentioned almost a month ago. He didn't know if he was angry or not.

"I never suggested you were going to, Potter." He said dryly. "Being such an _excellent_ Auror and all I thought you would read me better." He smirked.

"You know I read you perfectly well, _sir_, especially since our last meeting."

"It seems all those years of rule breaking and sneaking around have finally paid off, Potter. You have finally accomplished in using your _instincts_ properly."

They were staring at each other intensely, obviously going back in time to older memories and references. Seda just stood there not sure what to do. Harry finally looked back at Seda, ready to burst.

"You know what, Seda. I think I'll just see you around. I've got to go find Ron anyway. Enjoy your evening," he said and walked away from them. Seda stared after him confused about what just happened. She slowly turned around to look at Snape curiously.

"What was that about?" She asked in concern. Was Harry mad at her?

He was still watching him walk away as he said, "Potter has a lot to learn still. He's never been able to pick up on things as quickly as he should."

"Well… if he's an Auror don't you think he can?" She said defensively.

He finally looked down at her and said, "There are instincts that don't always relate to his job, Miss Wood." They looked at each other for a moment then she looked away.

"Are you planning on leaving any time soon? I wanted to have a look around." She tapped her fingers on the back of the chair.

"You may do whatever you like, Miss Wood. You can leave when ever." He said tying not to stare at her.

"And how am I supposed to get back to Hogwarts on my own?"

"The same way we arrived. There are carriages designated to take you there when you want." Her face was angelic as she looked down at the table.

"So you plan on taking off don't you?" She continued tapping her fingers.

"I've told you I'm not fond of gatherings. I plan on making my escape as soon as it's possible." Part of him didn't want to leave. She was silent for a moment, thinking about what to say next.

"I'd appreciate it if you would stay… since I don't know my way around this thing." Her voice was getting quieter and harder to hear. She was trying very hard not to look at him.

"I hardly think you will get lost. It's not that difficult to navigate." Why was he making excuses? He wasn't sure if he wanted to stay or leave now.

"Well," she looked up at him from beneath her long lashes, "couldn't you have a drink or something first… please?"

Merlin! She was practically begging him. Her eyes were doing it again. They were pulling him in somewhere he couldn't escape. He came out of his thoughts and started moving forward, rubbing against her arm accidentally or perhaps purposely as he passed.

"You're leaving?" She said in surprise. He stopped and looked back at her, giving her an irritated expression.

"You said you cared for a drink." He snapped.

"Oh," she said surprised again. "Well, yeah." She walked up next to him and they moved towards the door together. She fiddled with her sleeve and looked forward while she asked, "So you're staying I take it?" He only looked down at her momentarily and smirked. When he looked ahead again she couldn't help but grin.

It took them awhile to make their way down one of the staircases and towards the cocktail room. When they entered she looked around in awe. It looked exactly like a nightclub out of the early forties. There was a large bar that wrapped around two of the walls and opposite that a small stage with a band. The room was barely lit except for spotlights on the stage and every so often a strobe light would light up various parts of the room. It wasn't just a room it was practically another hall. There were at least a thousand people seated at small tables for three or four or at the bar that seemed to hold up to hundreds of people at a time.

He led the way around a back wall over to a corner of the bar on the far side. It seemed to be the only area that wasn't crowded with people. She sat on a tall stool while he continued to stand.

"Aren't you going to sit?" She asked. He shook his head once and continued to observe the crowd. She shrugged her shoulders and waited for someone to serve them. It was rather hot with all these people in a smaller hall. She was glad she didn't wear velvet or she would have been dying.

"What can I get you?" Someone asked minutes later.

"Err," Seda knew that if she were still in America she would be under age but since she was a witch now the drinking age was seventeen.

"A screwdriver if you have it." She said unsure they would know what it is. She assumed they might, considering this was an international gathering. The witch nodded and looked at Snape.

"And you sir?"

"Scotch over ice," he said still dazing somewhere. The witch nodded and moved down the bar. A moment later he looked down at her. She drank? He raised an eyebrow at this.

"A screwdriver, Miss Wood? Must be a muggle thing." He seemed interested.

"Have you never heard of it? It's vodka and orange juice. It's rather good. And actually it's an American thing." She added.

"I see." He was still impressed by her fondness for drinks. "I wasn't aware of your liking for alcohol, Miss Wood." He said still looking at her curiously.

"I don't like all of it, just some of it. I'm not an alcoholic though so don't worry. It's an occasional thing." She was looking very proper sitting at the bar with her legs crossed.

"Naturally," he added. He continued to concentrate on her. The way she rested her hands on the bar, her fingers overlapping each other in a delicate manner was amusing. Then there was her foot that tapped in the air unconsciously. It annoyed him but at the same time he enjoyed it.

The witch came back with their drinks and slid them over to each of them. Seda picked hers up and swirled the contents in the glass. Then she tipped it up to her mouth, took a sip and licked her lips.

He watched her as he took a drink, his eyes staring at her over his glass. He paused when she licked her lips. It was quite seducing in an innocent way. She hadn't meant to do it but she was most certainly doing it. He quickly took another sip and looked away. He could not think like that now.

"Your speech was very intellectual, professor." She said after taking another sip. "I really enjoyed it." She was trying to make conversation with the man so he wouldn't leave. He downed the last of his glass and she looked at him in amazement. He set it on the bar and looked down at her.

"I've had years of experience with the drink, Miss Wood. Teaching potions calls for it at times." She nodded, trusting him.

"Your demonstration was also much more intriguing then the others, sir." She kept talking to keep him there. He looked down and noticed the glass refilled itself, wonderful little charm for times like this.

"You were intrigued, Miss Wood?" He picked up the refilled glass and took another sip.

"Very much so," she said as she turned her body in his direction. His eyebrows rose ever so slightly. "The silence was captivating. Sometimes words aren't needed."

"Indeed," he replied. She waited for him to say something else but he didn't. She picked up her own glass and downed the last of it. He glanced down at her as she set the empty glass back on the bar. Then it refilled itself and she took another large sip. She was surprising at times and he was even more impressed by this.

She was getting impatient with his lack of conversation but she supposed this would happen. After all she had almost forced him to join her. But then again he began on a second drink so that was a start. She tried to remain calm however.

"Miss Wood," he just remembered something and was highly curious about it.

"Hmm," she replied lowering the glass from her mouth.

"Would you care to tell me why you produced a Scorching Scorn earlier?"

She looked up at him immediately and said, "A what?" She clearly didn't know what it was. What was he talking about?

"That little spell you pulled at the table involving the witch seated next to me." He said wanting to get a good explanation.

Her eyes widened for a moment before she took another sip. "Oh… is that what it was?" She said trying to sound innocent.

"As a matter of fact it was," he looked down at her seriously. "Now would you mind telling me why you produced it?"

"Well I didn't mean to." He gave her a very skeptical look. "She was irritating me."

"How so?" He asked knowing this was going to get her. He waited patiently.

"She was touching you," she mumbled. She pretended to play with one of the curls on her head to cover the sudden flush in her cheeks. He raised his eyebrows at this.

"Ah," he said and quickly took a drink. "You saved me the trouble you know," and he smirked. She looked up at him not sure what to say then she grinned. She gave him that smile that lit up the room. It was like a poison and yet he couldn't get enough of it. He finished his second glass and as he set it on the bar he sat down next to her.

"To be honest I was about to prepare a poison to mix in her drink." His glass refilled again and then she laughed. It sent his head in a buzz. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or her laugh that was intoxicating and frankly he didn't seem to care.

She downed the last of her drink for the second time and set it down on the bar. It refilled itself too as she said, "Well if you weren't going to do it then I would have. She was giving me a headache actually." She laughed softly. "And then she would pretend to accidentally touch you and it got beyond irritating." She laughed again.

"Why did it irritate you?" He said suddenly, which made her laughter die down. He sipped his drink again. He knew why he just wanted to hear it.

She looked down at her glass and stirred the contents with her index finger. As she continued stirring she said, "It was just annoying, that's all." She shrugged.

"I see," he replied. They didn't talk for a minute and by then they had each finished off three glasses each. Her cheeks were still slightly flushed but he didn't know if it was because she was embarrassed or if she was warm. He knew the room was very warm; he was starting to feel it.

"Would you care to view the other halls?" He said, sounding bored. He just needed an excuse to walk around with her. He didn't know why he wanted to because originally he hadn't wanted to attend at all.

She finished off the last drop of her glass and licked her lips seductively again. She still didn't realize what she was doing but he wasn't going to point it out. She set the glass down and said, "sure. It's getting hot in here anyway."

He wasn't going to disagree but then he immediately cursed him self for thinking that. "Shit," he thought to him self.

She hopped off the bar stool and waited for him to stand as well. He could tell the alcohol was starting to affect her slightly. She wasn't as composed as she normally was but she was still poised and elegant. He followed her out of the cocktail room, watching her hair shine as she went.

They began in the east wing halls and made their way through the lines and lines of people standing around various booths. There were some fascinating items actually and some very entertaining demonstrations as well. They talked very comfortably actually as he pointed out certain booths that were worthy of noting. Several times in fact they almost got separated but she grabbed hold of his arm to keep from parting. Every time she did this they would glance at each other, catch the others eye then suddenly look away. She would smile and he would smirk.

They also stopped several times to talk with people they knew. She talked with a few people from Hogwarts she knew and he would talk with older witches and wizards she didn't know. The chats would last hardly a minute because they were both trying to get in and out of each hall as quickly as possible.

It was almost midnight when they had gone through each hall. By then Seda had already removed her robe and was carrying it over her arm as they moved out into the main hall. When she had removed it his eyes went wide for a moment but he regained his composure quickly. He couldn't admit it but gods was she beautiful.

He didn't understand how he hadn't noticed before. He corrected him self. He _did_ notice before, he just let her get away from him when he could've had her. He corrected him self again. He _did_ have her but that was before he realized they were on dangerous grounds and they both decided it was too risky. He didn't even know what he was saying now. This was all just a big jumble of thoughts, which he had no idea where they were coming from.

He didn't even know why he was thinking this way in the first place. He didn't love her so there was no reason for him to worry so much. He did however form a type of bond with her, he didn't know how but there _was_ one. It was funny because in a way he felt tied to her even before he knew her that well. It was almost as if… no it wasn't possible. There was no way in hell he would let that kind of thought come to him. It was almost unbearable to think about really. He quickly transferred his thoughts elsewhere.

"Are you thirsty at all because I'm dying." She said, her cheeks slightly pink. He nodded and soon they found themselves at the bar, again. It wasn't nearly as crowded because people were starting to leave but there were still some thousands to be seen.

They ordered the same drinks as before and sat there talking sophisticatedly about potions and other things of their interest. They were so absorbed into their conversation that everything around them was oblivious.

"I see your Potions Master decided to show up, Dumbledore."

"Yes he did, didn't he?" He replied.

"And might I ask who that exquisite young creature is beside him?"

"You could." Dumbledore replied smugly as he watched the pair move closer to each other every few minutes. He watched Seda finally rest her hand on Snape's as she laughed about something and the Headmaster smiled to him self.

"Friendly aren't they. Somewhat unusual on his end wouldn't you say so?

"I could say so if I really wanted to but not many know Severus like I do and nor do they think as highly of him as I do." Dumbledore was still watching the pair.

"Dumbledore, my old friend, what would we do with out your smugness in the world?"

The man Dumbledore was speaking to laughed but Dumbledore continued to observe the pair and _continued_ to smile to him self.

A/N: _Originally this chapter and the next were one very long chapter. When I noticed it was getting up to seventeen pages long I had to make a cut somewhere, obviously because I wasn't even done yet. I decided to wait until I finished all of forty-seven so I could post them at the same time. They go together actually but I had to make a stopping point somewhere. Ok go and enjoy it now!_


	47. When the Snow Falls

Originally chapters forty-six and forty-seven were one long, very long chapter. I finally decided I should split them up if I didn't want to make all your eyeballs fall out. Ha! That really wouldn't be good if you want to continue reading the story. Ok enjoy! Toodles!

WARNING: Extreme hotness at the end of this chapter! This story is rated R for a reason. Do not read if this offends you! This is your last warning and don't say I didn't warn you! Ok you can go read now! Woo!

* * *

Her laughter really was intoxicating, more so then before. Of course it could have been from the number of drinks they both had but it was undeniable. Every time she would laugh it would fill the air around him with a sweet song and reverberate in his mind over and over. And every time she laughed her nose would scrunch, her smile would beam and her eyes lit up. Then her hair would fall around her shoulders in delicate curls and the dark chocolate color would contrast with the pale milk and honey in her skin. It was a wonderful sight and he didn't dare look away from her for a moment.

She had no idea what time it was now and didn't care either. She would sit there all night if she could, inhaling his scent and letting his velvety smooth voice carry her away. She knew by now she had quite the buzz from all the alcohol, nearly drunk, but she still knew exactly what she was doing and saying. All though she didn't seem to mind that she spilled whatever was on her mind. Even though he didn't join in the laughing he would smirk occasionally, which was the closest thing he ever did to smile.

Yet he did stare at her so intensely sometimes that she could feel her heart beat faster. She didn't know if he was doing that purposely but she started to enjoy it, what ever it was. She was happy that she hadn't made a complete fool of her self yet with all the drinks she had. She could hear her self talk and it sounded normal. However he seemed to have just as many or more drinks than she did and he seemed fine. This bothered her.

"How is it that you had more drinks than me and I'm the one who's nearly drunk?" She smiled at him as she stirred her drink with her finger again.

"I have experience, Miss Wood. You on the other hand… are vulnerable to the affects the vile drink produces." He was still so serious.

"But why? Don't you ever get drunk?" She leaned on her left elbow, which was on the bar top and rested her cheek on her hand heavily.

"I have not been drunk in a very long time and I do not intend to do it ever again. The morning after can be quite frustrating with out a hang over potion." He took a breath. "No, I do not drink to get drunk, Miss Wood. I drink to relieve stress."

"Oh," she said quite enthusiastically. "Well that's understandable." She stared at him, admiring his eyes for a long moment until he looked away from her.

"It is hot in here?" She asked sitting up straight. "It's _hot_ in here." She said, insisting that it was. She brushed one of the curls off her face and when that didn't work she tried to blow it out of her way continuously until she was out of breath.

"Would you like to step outside for awhile?" He said more as a way to calm her down. She was really tipsy from all those drinks and it kind of amused him to see her trying to act proper still.

"Why not? I'm sure it's," she hiccupped, "cooler outside."

"Indeed it is, Miss Wood, considering it's the middle of winter." He said standing up.

"Oh, yes it is. Obviously." She laughed and hopped off her stool again. She was thankful she kept her balance and didn't fall over like an amateur. She grabbed her robe and tossed it around her arm as she followed Snape out of the hall. Many people stared at her as she passed and she looked straight ahead, trying not to notice.

He led her up the back staircases and she didn't question about where he was going. She just trusted him even though she clearly understood that outside meant out the doors and not up the stairs. She followed him up several flights of marble stairs, staying close behind him until he got off on a landing the led to a small corridor. He walked quickly down the corridor and stopped when he came to a set of French doors. He stopped so suddenly that she ran into him and stumbled backwards.

She "oofed" and he turned around and caught her by the arm.

"You ought to be more careful, Miss Wood." He smirked and pulled her upright. She gave a frightened laugh and straightened her dress.

He opened the doors with a flick of his wand and stepped out onto the balcony above the courtyard. She followed him outside and gasped slightly at the view. It was incredibly beautiful with the mountains set in the back round, the midnight blue sky full of stars, candles floating in the air and the fountain changing colors beneath them.

"What a view," she said in awe of her surroundings. "Are we allowed to be up here even?" She looked over the stone railing and noticed it was a long way down, at least fifty feet. The people below them looked like puppets. "Woah," she added while leaning over.

"I don't think anyone really knows it's here." He said as he watched her lean over the balcony. Her dress shortened in length as she did so and revealed the perfectly shaped dancers legs she had and not to mention the pronounced curve of her backside.

She stood straight and said, "oh." She turned around to look at him and then she started shivering. "I'm glad you stayed." She added as she tried to smile.

"You should probably put your robe on, Miss Wood. It's cold out." She seemed completely immune to proper senses. He stood next to her, resting his arms on the railing. She just looked at him, her hip leaning against the railing.

"You didn't answer me." She said looking disappointed.

"You didn't ask me anything." He replied.

"Oh," she said and bit her lip. The alcohol was really starting to affect her. She continued looking at him as she shivered in the cold. "Well I said I was glad you stayed and you didn't answer me."

"That is not a question, Miss Wood, that's a statement. I think you need to go back to grammar school." He smirked. He was avoiding what she was saying as much as possible. She continued to look at him seriously.

"Well then don't you have a reply about what I _stated_?" She said sarcastically.

"Yes I do and I've just answered your question." He smarted back.

"What?" She was confused. She shook her head and tried to think straight. "Then what is your reply to my statement?" She wasn't going to let him win.

He looked at her and said, "Why do you want to know so badly?"

"Well I don't but I'm not letting you win so I kept asking." Her head was spinning.

"It wasn't a question to begin with, Miss Wood." He smirked at her again.

She rolled her eyes and said, "Oh never mind," and leaned on the railing too. She continued to shiver more.

"Why don't you just put your robe on if you are going to continue shivering?" He said as he looked out over the courtyard.

"Well you could just save me the trouble and put your arm around me," she said before she realized she let it slip. She froze for a minute not believing she said that out loud. She slapped her head into her hand and shook it slightly like a fool.

"I think the alcohol has gone to your head, Miss Wood." He replied calmly as he continued to look ahead of him. Merlin she was intoxicated all though it was very entertaining indeed.

She looked up at him slowly, embarrassed about what she just said. "I suppose you are going to milk this moment for what its worth aren't you? Here I am making a fool of myself and you are going to encourage it."

"Naturally," he said. He finally looked over and watched her for a moment, holding her gaze again. "Do you fear I'll start rumors about your intoxicated state?"

"No. I fear I'm going to leave here tonight and not get what I want." She let it slip again. Gods she was going to die of humiliation. She hid her face in her hand again and moaned.

He continued to watch her still. "What is it you want?" He asked curiously. He had his suspicions about this but couldn't resist the opportunity to embarrass the young woman further. She was getting her self into a trap, which was entirely her fault.

"I can't tell you or you'll laugh." She said with her face still buried in her hand.

"I'm hardly one to be seen laughing, Miss Wood." He loved his quick mind and smirked to him self.

"If I tell you then you promise not to laugh?" Her face was still in her hand.

"I thought I just told you I'm immune to laughter, Miss Wood." He pressured her.

"Fine," she gave in and took a deep breath. "I wanted… I was hoping… possibly that you might," she moaned into her hands now. "I wanted to kiss you before I left." She said nearly all as one word.

He raised his eyebrows at this. Did she say what he just thought she said? It took him a moment to find words to respond to this.

"I'm not laughing, Miss Wood." He said seriously.

"Yeah but, you probably are in your head and now I can't look at you." Her face was still buried in her hands. It was getting irritating actually because her words were muffled.

"I'd prefer it if you did look at me when I'm talking to you, Miss Wood." It was the perfect reason to get her to look up. Now he almost laughed in his head.

She looked up at him slowly, taking her face out of her hands. Her cheeks were very red and she looked ashamed almost. "Can I go die now?" She said sarcastically.

"If you feel the need to then by all means don't let me stop you?" He was sarcastic as well. She began biting her lip, the way she always did when she was nervous.

"You aren't helping," she said getting flustered.

"You asked if I would milk this for what's its worth and that is what I'm doing."

She rolled her eyes and looked back out over the courtyard, leaning on her elbows. It was an uneasy silence for a few minutes but he was going to use it for dominance.

"In answer to your former _question_… I wouldn't have stayed if I hadn't known something like this would happen." This didn't make sense but he knew it would get her to talk.

She looked at him and said, "What do you mean?" somewhat offended.

"I must admit your intoxication is highly amusing." He smirked.

"Well I'm glad it amuses you or else I wouldn't have gotten you to stay at all." She was starting to get angry, which usually came with the confusion during intoxication.

"I think you doubted my intentions, Miss Wood."

"How so Mr. Snape," she laughed at this, obviously still very buzzed from the drinks. She stopped laughing when she felt his hand snake across her back and around her shoulder. He lifted a few strands of curls away.

"What are you doing?" She asked robotically and confused.

"You are shivering like a leaf and I'm saving you the trouble of putting on your robe." His voice was like velvet again. She leaned into him uncertainly, her heart beginning to race like a horse.

"Besides it's starting to snow." He said as if knowing this all along.

She looked up and saw thick flakes of frozen water come floating down towards the earth. One landed on her nose and she scrunched it to make the tickling go away. Curtains of white were surrounding them and she leaned in closer to his chest and continued to stare up at the sky in wonder. She was completely mesmerized by the never-ending white that hovered above them.

He watched her blue eyes light up in reflection to the snow and was mesmerized him self by the beauty they held. He took the opportunity while she was completely transfixed to lean in slowly and steal her lips.

She gasped when she felt his breath roll down her throat but gave into it gladly. She caught his eyes looking at hers and then she felt a surge of energy shoot through her. She closed her eyes and leaned into his mouth more, not wanting to get away from it. He accepted this warmly and then she felt his tongue slip inside her mouth. She moaned into his lips and pressed her body closer to him, allowing him to get nearer.

Soon he wrapped his other arm around her and molded his hands to her back, feeling the warmth of her skin against the cold winter air. She was shaking still and he held her tighter. He pulled away from her lips and she panted, gasping for air as he moved his mouth along her jaw and down to her neck. She let her head roll to the side heavily, inviting him to take in all the skin he wanted. He did.

He kissed gently across the sensitive spots of her neck, making her moan softly into his chest. Every time she gasped for air she would inhale his scent and it made her head buzz more so then before. He continued kissing and sucking gently along the skin of her neck, steadily moving his mouth down to the dip between her neck and shoulders. Goosebumps shot up all over her skin and she grasped his arms to keep from fainting. She began speaking breathlessly into his chest.

"Please… not here… can we go some where… please… oh please… don't stop," she continued to moan into his chest, wanting more than just that kiss. He pulled away and looked at her seriously.

"Sometimes words aren't needed," he said, mocking her from earlier that night. She looked up at him speechless. He quickly grabbed the robe wrapped around her arm while he pulled out his wand and held it out in front of him. He said, "portus," and watched it glow blue for a second.

"Hold onto this and don't let go," he demanded. She grabbed it and seconds later they were hurtling through the air towards some place else.

It was hardly a moment when they fell out of the air and stumbled onto the floor. She looked around and recognized it immediately. They were in his private quarters. She barely had time to breathe when he threw the robe down and latched onto her lips again. She gasped at the sudden impact of his body but leaned into him still.

She felt his hands come around her back in search for a clasp or a zipper but he couldn't find it. She reached behind her neck and untied the strings that held the dress up and let them fall over her shoulders. He smirked into her mouth and continued kissing her passionately. His hands moved down to the bottom of the dress and pulled it upwards. She broke away from him for a moment so he could pull it off and throw it to the floor.

With that type of dress she was already saving him the trouble of unclasping a bra so she was left in her shoes and black lace underwear. Some how she got her shoes off with out breaking the kiss or falling over. Her neck was starting to ache from reaching up to kiss him so she jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs around him. He didn't stumble but leaned into her mouth more deeply.

She started working at the buttons on his collar as he kissed her on her shoulders. At the same time he was walking towards his bedroom, holding her tighter under her arms. She finally got the top of his frock coat undone and pulled it open to reveal another white shirt underneath. She moaned and began working at that too as he entered his bedroom.

He walked over to his bed slowly and knelt with one leg onto the bed. He laid her down gently as he continued the kiss on her shoulders. She closed her eyes for a moment, getting frustrated with the buttons on his many layers.

"Err… stupid buttons," she growled into his neck. He gave a wicked grin into her shoulder and pulled his wand out from inside his pocket. He muttered something she couldn't hear and when she opened her eyes the buttons were completely undone, everywhere. She smiled and began pushing the layers down over his shoulders, nearly ripping them off his body.

"Patience," he hissed softly into her skin. She muttered in protest at that idea and began throwing his shirts to the floor. When he was rid of all his top layers she began moving her hands towards his pants and quickly attempted to pull them off. She was getting confused and frustrated.

"Damn alcohol," she said angrily.

"I told you it was vile," he breathed into her neck.

He finally took pity on her after several more minutes of her struggling and muttered another spell that made the rest of his clothes disappear. She hit him playfully on the arm for not doing that before. He smirked and began sucking on her neck.

She began kissing his chest and moved her hands into his hair. What ever she did she couldn't get enough of him. There were so many thoughts going through her head that she couldn't even read them. Then she remembered something. She pulled away from his skin and looked at him.

"What about that charm? I don't want to get pregnant!" She said frantically.

He looked down at her and smirked. "Done," he said.

"How?" She lowered her eyebrows.

"Clearly you didn't pay attention." He looked at her seriously. "I did it just before I threw your robe to the floor. I believe you were trying to make out where we were."

"Oh… right," she nodded her head and continued to kiss his chest. He pressed his mouth onto her shoulders once more and moved his hands across her stomach. She stopped again and looked at him.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I mean… I didn't mean to force…" His lips pressing against hers stopped her. He pulled away and looked into her eyes.

"Consider this an early Christmas gift," he smirked and leaned in to kiss her again. She had nothing left to say after that and she let the silence become his power once more.

He steadily moved his mouth from her neck down to her chest where he kissed her nipples softly. When he began sucking on one and biting it playfully she let her head fall heavily onto the bed. She ran her fingers through his hair, trying to get more of him. He was bringing on that unbelievable sensation again and it nearly sent her over board when he let his tongue lick them smoothly. She moaned even louder and this motivated him.

She was dying of anticipation now. His mouth was leaving her breasts and moving down her stomach slowly. It was almost too slow but then she wanted this to last at the same time. It was maddening. His hands ran smoothly along her ribs, coming up slowly around her arms and caressing her non-stop as he continued working on her stomach. Soon those kisses were moving towards her hips, just where the tops of her lace underwear were.

He laid kisses across the top of them moving from the left side to the right as his hands moved down to her thighs. They were exquisite he noted to him self, firm and muscular and extremely smooth. He ran his hands along them and down her legs as he continued kissing her hip. Then his hands moved back up and slowly crept to the inside of her thigh where he stroked his fingers gently, moving them closer and closer to her most sensitive area. This was beginning to be too much for her to handle and she whined.

His fingers slipped beneath the fabric around her thighs and began massaging her from the outside of her sensitive region. She was really beginning to moan now and her hands fell from his hair and onto the bed. He lifted his head slightly from her stomach and looked up at her. She was in complete bliss but he knew how to bring her back.

He moved his body forward so he could kiss her lips again and rested one hand onto the bed to support his weight from crushing her. He slipped his other fingers between her skins and when she moaned out loud he snatched her lips forcefully. His fingers were working in a slow rhythm, moving in small circles around her button as some like to call it. She sighed into his mouth and let him take over.

He began pushing a little harder on the spot while he continued kissing her. She moaned again but he kept going. His fingers moved slightly and she was almost disappointed but she gasped when she felt them slip inside her. She bit his lip softly and began sucking on it. She needed something to keep herself steady.

He could feel her tightening around his fingers minutes later and he knew she would be put over the edge in a moment so he stopped. She protested by groaning but he pulled away from her mouth and looked at her. She looked back at him obviously very disappointed and panted for air. He grinned inside because she didn't know what was coming next and then he smirked.

He trailed his mouth down to her hips again and when he reached the top of her underwear he stopped. He moved his hands up to beneath her back and lifted her into a sitting position. He watched as her hair fell around her shoulders and he had to swallow at how beautiful she was. There was nothing else to say but that; she was beautiful. And when she smiled at him his heart almost stopped. He lost track of time for a moment as he found himself lost in thoughts, trying to find the beating of his heart again, trying to breathe again.

When she tilted her head to the side to study his expression he came back. With his newfound strength he grabbed her by the waist and lifted her so that she was standing. He was kneeling on both his knees beneath her and she looked down at him, smiling softly but still confused. He looked up at her like she was an angel or a goddess or something beyond his power and he prayed to Merlin silently to help him.

He ran his hands up her legs as she just stared down at him, not sure what to do. His fingers slipped behind the fabric again but this time he was pulling them slowly down over her pelvis. When she became exposed they slid over her thighs and down her legs. She stepped out of them and then he tossed them to the floor. He kissed over her skin that kept her area hidden and she began moaning again. She placed her hands on his shoulders to brace her self.

His thumbs came in to the folds of skin and moved them apart so he could kiss the inside. She hissed in a seductive tone and made his head buzz like hers did before. Her knees were shaking slightly from the tingles running through out her body put she pressed harder on his shoulders. Then she felt his tongue over her button and she nearly purred. He noticed this and kept going. Moments later he slipped a finger inside her as he continued working his tongue over her relentlessly. He could feel her nails digging into his skin but he didn't mind. In fact he wanted that and continued with his doings.

It wasn't much longer when she finally couldn't take it anymore. After a series of increasing moans she screamed softly. He continued licking her as she pulsed around his fingers and then he slowly came to a stop, ending it with a kiss. She collapsed onto her knees, falling on top of him with her arms wrapped around his neck. It was a good thing he leaned back slightly.

He caught her and snaked his arms around her waist. This was a strange feeling he thought because she was actually leaning on him, _hugging_ him tightly as if the world were ending. He didn't know what to think of this. In a way it was even more intimate then what they just did. He never had someone hug him like this before. There he could hear the panting on the back of his neck, trying to catch her breath as she clung to him with need and he liked it.

He squeezed her tighter and placed a kiss on her shoulder. She continued hugging him but she moved her legs so they were wrapped around his waist. It was getting difficult to balance on a bed like that so he leaned over to the side as best he could with out collapsing and rolled onto his back. She was now sitting on top of him with her head resting on his shoulder, still trying to breathe normally.

She finally came back to a normal breathing pattern and pushed her self up to look at him. They really didn't need words to describe it. The silence spoke for them. She rested one of her hands on his chest and leaned over to kiss him so that she was laying over him with her legs still around his waist. Her other hand moved down between her legs and found his length. He immediately stiffened somewhat when he felt her hand close around him. She stroked him slowly and carefully, feeling every inch of him.

He was getting harder by the second but not fully. She continued kissing him and then she looked at him as she bit his lip. She gave him a most serious look but he didn't know what she was doing. He felt her hips slide lower as she still continued pumping him and then she pulled away from his mouth. She leaned over him so she was flat against his chest and kissed his neck. Suddenly he felt her adjust so she was sitting over his length and then she guided him inside her where he quickly stiffened to his fullest. She removed her hand and brought it up to his shoulder and continued sucking on his neck.

He moaned softly into her hair as he felt the warmth of her insides melt around him. She was devilishly wicked right now and he couldn't get enough. He was taken by surprise when she actually started to roll her hips on top of him, grinding into him slowly with more need. He said it to himself before but she really did surprise him at times.

Her breathing was starting to quicken as he slid deeper inside her. She had a hard time continuing the kissing on his neck but remained constant with her motions on his length. Gods she was amazing him with her calmness. She wanted more but she was trying to be patient. He let her move on top of him, going at her own pace and remained there soaking up all her radiance. He didn't want to start moving himself because it would ruin her unique rhythm that he was clearly enjoying.

They remained like this for several minutes, completely absorbed into the other. He was losing control now, even though she was continuing to work a slow and steady pace. He moved his hands to her waist and made her stop. She looked up at him but trusted what he was doing. He slid out of her and lifted her a few inches above him so he could move. He pressed a hand onto her back to keep her where she was but some how managed to slide from beneath her and end up on top of her.

He was laying over her now and leaned in over her back to kiss her shoulders. She looked back at him and bit her lip. He regained his dominance by being on top of her but she didn't mind. He moved his mouth down her spine until he came to the curve of her backside. He ran his hands over it and kissed the arch in her lower back. Goosebumps were rising over body again and she shivered from the chill it sent.

She rested her cheek to one side on the bed and closed her eyes as he massaged the back of her thighs and over her curves. She moaned in relaxation and he watched her. He started kneading his hands softly around her back and she moaned again. It was wonderful she thought. Then he let his hands drift to her backside again and down her legs all the way to her toes. She almost laughed from being ticklish but she just smiled and scrunched her nose. He looked up at her again and smirked.

He finally came back up when she flinched after he touched her foot. She opened her eyes and sighed. He leaned over her again and placed a kiss on her shoulder and then her cheek. His right arm slid underneath her stomach and stayed there. She felt him situate himself over her and she moaned. She instinctively moved her legs apart and allowed him to move in. Then he knelt back on his knees and pulled her from under her stomach so that she was resting on her hands and knees.

He entered inside her where he was minutes before and pushed himself all the way in. He didn't move but just remained there. She gasped from feeling him at a new angle but relaxed just as suddenly. He lowered his body so it was resting over her back again and placed his hands on the bed on either side of her. His shoulders were actually laying over hers and he used this to keep her steady.

He slowly began to move inside her, making sure not to move too suddenly or quickly as not to harm her. She was still very fragile and sensitive with her womanhood and he knew that. He wanted her to feel relaxed and nothing but pleasure so he had to be careful. She moaned softly as he moved inside her still and began kissing below her ear, humming his moans into her head.

They continued at a relaxing pace for some time but she was ready for more. She pushed back against him, urging him to move deeper and he caught on. She bit her lip as he steadily moved faster; pumping into her with energy she was feeding him. She felt him moving more quickly and short, soft breathy screams were escaping her throat. He took this as a sign to move faster and soon she was practically growling. She was beginning to tighten around him but she wanted to hold on as long as possible. He was ready for the release when ever she was and was nearly ready.

He moved his left hand on top of hers and locked his fingers within hers. His other hand he slid across her breasts and down her stomach where he finally reached his destination. He moved his fingers over her button again and she shrieked with unbelievable pleasure. He rubbed her in rhythm to his other action and she let out more soft breathless screams. He felt himself tighten so he rubbed her faster and pushed into her again, harder than he thought he could and she finally screamed with her release. She contracted around him violently and he moaned into her ear.

He dramatically pushed in and out of her at a very slow pace until she was able to stop screaming in a breathless way. She was practically crying out in her moans, as the sensations were too much for to handle. He finally pushed into her one more time then slid out. Gently placing a kiss on her shoulders he collapsed on top of her and they both fell to the bed. They rested there for several minutes trying to catch their breath.

He rolled off her onto his back and tried to breathe normally. What ever it was they just did was more incredible than before and his head was spinning. They were both exhausted and ready to pass out. The alcohol from earlier helped with the sudden feeling of tiredness. She was finally strong enough to move so she crawled slightly over to him and remained laying on her stomach. She threw her right arm across his chest, her right leg over his waist and placed her head between his shoulder and chest. She gave a few heavy sighs then let her eyes close softly.

Her hair fanned out wildly across her face and the pillow and some of it draped onto his chest. He brushed it away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. He looked down at her and watched her drift away into her dreams. He lifted his left arm so it rested on his stomach and he held her hand. His right arm he left on the bed and stroked her back softly. He heard her breathe. The room was quiet otherwise.

As she was falling asleep she spoke softly and breathlessly, hardly hearable but he heard. She breathed, "I think I love you" and then she was sound asleep.

He stared blankly at the figure laying on him, in shock about what he just heard. He took a few breaths and replied just as quietly, "I know not how to love," then closed his eyes and fell asleep.

It was completely silent.


	48. A Mother Always Knows

Sigh… I know, I know. I'm sorry if the last half of the previous chapter was too mushy for you but I am a hopeless romantic at heart. I just couldn't stand the fact of writing something like that, after what has happened and then rip it away. You still get the angst that comes from their uncertainty but it was beautiful at the same time. Actually I think this time was more emotional than their first. It's a known fact, silence is captivating and they each use that tool to their advantage.

Oh enough small talk. Let's jump right in to the next one. Toodles!

* * *

Severus woke up and breathed in deeply. He moved his head to look down at her and was still amazed by the innocence on her face as she slept. The softness of her skin glowing, her eyelashes resting gently against it, the way her lips pouted slightly, her hair draping across her neck, it all was so simple and yet so beautiful.

Everything about her was beautiful it seemed and so precise and delicate. Her arm draped over his chest with ease and her fingers rested like lace on his skin. Her shoulder down to her hip was a soft curve that flowed into the strong leg that she threw across his waist. It moved fluidly all the way down to her little foot and her curling toes. He noticed the way her leg clung to him as if she were going to be pulled away and yet it was so relaxed.

He admired the way she could give into him so easily and then uses her calm presence to control him back. She had captured him in so many ways that he couldn't believe it was humanly possible. And the times she captured him the most were when she was sleeping or staring at him silently with those eyes.

Oh those eyes he remembered. There was magic within them even if it wasn't spoken. It was almost as if everything she contained within her very soul was locked away in the depths of those blue eyes. He could see everything that was hidden from view by looking at them and yet he didn't always understand what they were saying. They were such a mystery but that is what kept him going back for more. He could never learn enough.

Something was stirring in his mind though even as he looked down at her so admiringly. She almost told him that she loved him, almost. _I think I love _you is nearly to that point and it unnerved him slightly. He didn't know if she really meant it or if it was just her half asleep stage that brought it on but it was definitely implied.

He didn't know how to respond to it except for telling the truth. He _didn't_ know how to love and he felt like she deserved to be loved just as much or more than she could give her self. It would be more than difficult to continue a truthful relationship with her anyway. It figures he had to feel this way about someone he could never be with.

He knew at some point or another he was going to have to break her heart and he knew that every minute more they spent together increased the pain it would cause both of them. He supposed that's why every time they got closer he would push her away or on the rare occasion she would run away. Maybe she knew, he didn't know, but what ever happened was clearly a sign it wasn't meant to be.

What was he talking about though? He acted as though he was in love with this girl. Why was he telling himself that he was going to have to break her heart and cause both of them pain? He wasn't in love with her. He just cared for her. There was a difference. He knew that. He hated the way he always felt like this, uncertain and wrong about himself and his emotions.

He lacked several emotions though from having to experience his past. They were either hidden somewhere he couldn't find or they had left him completely. He wasn't sure. He was sure that he was thinking way too much into this and was acting ridiculously. He would simply have to carry on his life knowing that this young woman practically loved him and he would never be able to give back what she shared, plain and simple.

He was just going to enjoy the times they spent together like this and then think nothing more of them. He felt like a heartless bastard but then he reminded himself that he was one. Voldemort had turned him into a ruthless monster that lived off the suffering of those close to him. He hated it but it was still embedded in his soul and there was no escaping it, no matter how distant he became.

He breathed in deeply again. He had to get away from these thoughts. With that he looked down at her again and studied her face. He had done this so many times it seems but every time he found something new. He loved watching the way her chest raised and fell every time she breathed. It was soothing and so pure. He wanted to give her so much but he just didn't understand why he wasn't allowed. It was him that wouldn't allow it so it was a battle with his self.

He raised his hand and stroked her cheek. The warmth of her skin made his fingers melt over her face. He brushed them back through her hair until they stopped at her neck. He continued stroking her shoulder and then he leaned down and kissed her forehead. He wrapped his arm around her waist and continued to watch her sleep.

She began to sigh, meaning she was waking slowly. She gently moved her eyelids and then they opened. Her eyes searched the room for a moment until they came up to meet his and they looked at each other. They were still hazy with sleep but shining all the same.

"Good morning," she said sounding raspy.

"Morning," he replied smoothly.

They stared at each other for a moment.

"What time is it?" she asked softly, barely awake.

"Seven," he said as the distant chimes from the clock tower agreed.

She groaned and nuzzled her head into his neck and shut her eyes.

"Do you want breakfast?" he asked her. He was getting hungry.

"I don't care," she said as she sighed.

He brought her right hand up to his mouth and kissed her palm as he said, "yes or no."

She gave a heavy sigh and said, "yes," then opened her eyes again. "But I don't feel like going upstairs yet." She watched him kiss her palm.

He kissed it one last time then lowered it back onto his stomach. "I'll have it sent," he said then looked at her as if asking if that was ok. She nodded.

"I don't want to move just yet. I'm still asleep," she yawned.

"You are a very good sleep talker," he said and she grinned. It was silent for another minute as they were both trying to wake up fully.

"I can't believe I'm leaving in a few hours. I wish I could stay longer," she yawned again.

In a way he didn't want her to go home for the holidays either but he knew she had to.

"You could stay," he said not really sounding too thrilled.

"I can't. My family is expecting me and my performance is next week. I _have_ to go home," she replied sounding disappointed. She suddenly looked up at him and smiled. She pushed herself up and over so that she was lying on top of him.

"At least I have until noon," she grinned and then leaned down and kissed him.

"You make that sound very tempting," he looked at her seriously.

She rested her head on his chest and sighed, finding his hands and curling her fingers around his. She could hear his heart beating.

"Thank you for staying with me at the convention," she was being sincere.

"I suppose it had its rewards," he said sarcastically.

"Hey," she said cautiously then bit his chest playfully.

"You are on dangerous territory, Miss Wood." He closed his eyes for a moment.

"I know," she replied wickedly then continued biting him.

"I do believe this is the alcohol talking."

"No, it's just me." She nipped at his shoulder.

"Ah, I thought so."

She worked her mouth up to his lips again. "Thank you," she breathed into his mouth.

"For what?"

"For my Christmas present," she laughed slightly into his mouth as she kissed him again.

"Indeed," he said and wrapped his arms around her. He sat up quickly, forcing her to sit in his lap with her legs dangling over his to one side. He started to kiss her forehead then slowly moved them down to her eyelids and finished by kissing the tip of her nose, which made her scrunch it and smile.

He brushed her hair over to one shoulder and made a series of kisses down her cheek, jaw, neck and shoulder. While he kissed her collarbone he massaged her back, making her lean against him and rest her chin over his shoulder.

"Oh that feels really good," she said as she closed her eyes and moaned.

"I assumed that," he smirked and continued.

He was surprised again when she lifted her arms and wrapped them around his neck, bringing them into a hug. He didn't know what to do so he kept kneading her back. He liked the feel of her chest pressed against his and massaged her harder so she would stay close. She obviously didn't want to pull away anytime soon.

They stayed like this for almost five minutes. She finally kissed his cheek and sighed into his ear.

"What's for breakfast?" she asked softly.

"Whatever you want," he replied feeling like he had very large pixies flying in his chest. He heard her laugh and then he leaned back slightly so he could see her face.

"What's so amusing?" he asked curiously.

"Oh, nothing. It was just what you said… it gave me a thought." She grinned.

"What thought?" He had an idea.

"Err… I don't think I need to explain." She blushed slightly.

"Is that so?" he smirked. Merlin she was wicked. What had he turned her into?

She removed her arms from around his neck and blushed more. She placed her hands firmly onto his chest and pushed him back onto the bed so he was lying down. She grinned up at him and then slid away, leaving kisses in random places as she worked her way down.

It wasn't long before she took him in his mouth and his head started spinning. The feel of her mouth around him was energizing. Those pixies in his chest were flying up into his throat and caused him to groan.

She smiled as she took him in deeper, using her teeth to bring out more sensations. His length had hardened fully and it made its way into the back of her throat but she continued sucking him gently. She worked at it for a while then began using her tongue, swirling around him and tasting him as much as possible. It wasn't too much longer when he shuttered with a release. He made to pull out of her mouth but she resisted. She sucked all of his juice down into her throat and didn't stop until he was completely dry.

His eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head but he remained conscious. That was quite a morning sensation, no matter the day. He waited for his breathing to slow down until he opened his eyes again. When he did open his eyes she was leaning over him again, grinning. He was startled for a moment.

"That's your Christmas present from me," she said devilishly.

"I accept," he said still trying to breathe normally.

Ten minutes later they sent for breakfast. They enjoyed it in the privacy of his rooms while talking about the convention and her intoxication the night before. She remembered what she said and did she just didn't realize how tipsy she was as she did it.

They talked until eight thirty and then she insisted that she had to get going. He also admitted he had work to do. He walked her up to her rooms, as she still didn't know how to find her way out of the maze that led to his chambers. When she stepped inside she quickly looked around the corridor then gave him one last, long passionate kiss. She closed the door after he walked away and then she was alone.

She walked in a few steps and felt even more alone. It was weird. She felt weird. She missed him all ready. She tried to shrug it off but every step she took further into the room the more depressed she felt. How could she possibly go from being elated one second and depressed the next? She didn't think it was possible but it seemed it was. She tried to think about their incredible night and then she smiled.

"An early Christmas present indeed. Ha!" She laughed and then she went for a long shower.

By ten she had showered, dried off, checked and double checked her luggage then sat on her bed, bored. She had two hours until she was leaving and she had no idea what to do. She tried to practice some dance steps but she gave up because she just wasn't in the mood. She tried reading but she couldn't concentrate. No matter what she did every few minutes her mind would wander off and she would be thinking about him.

The last two hours before she left went by miserably slow. She was anxious to get home so she could be with her family but at the same time she wanted to stay with him. She knew she was being foolish because it was only occasional nights of passion. He didn't love her, she knew it, and she didn't love him. She simply admired him and cared about him deeply. Deeply? She shook her head.

* * *

"Do you have all your things?" Dumbledore asked her one last time.

"Yeah," she barely paid attention, her mind off somewhere else.

"Good. Then touch this and you will take off momentarily. Have a good Holiday and see you when you get back," she heard him say.

She touched the old scarf that would transport her and then she remembered something. She told Snape she loved him last night! Her eyes shot up to tell Dumbledore to wait but it was too late, she was being sucked into the portkey and then she was gone.

She stumbled into her bedroom and fell to the ground. She panted for a moment as she sat on her knees. She looked around at her scattered luggage and took a deep breath. How could she forget she said something like that? Was she an idiot? She remembered falling asleep and saying it but she couldn't remember his answer. What did he say? Did he even hear her? She didn't know and began to panic.

"Seda?" She heard her mother's voice call from downstairs. Then she heard footsteps on the stairs and quickly stood up. She tried putting her luggage neatly in a stack and then her door opened.

"Seda it is you!" Her mother came walking forward and pulled her into a hug.

"Mom… I missed you," she wrapped her arms around her.

"How are you, honey? Was your trip or whatever it was all right?" She squeezed her daughter tightly again and kissed her head.

"Yeah, it was fine. I just stumbled that's all. How's dad?" she looked up at the brown haired woman.

"He's been good but I know he's missed you terribly. Come on, he's down stairs making the turkey. Everyone else will be here around three or so." She let go of Seda and started walking downstairs. Seda followed after she kicked off her shoes.

She walked into their kitchen and smiled when she noticed her dad doing his annual turkey basting. He pushed the turkey back into the oven and looked up at her. She ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"How are ya peanut?" he said as he pulled her into a bear hug.

"Fine. I missed you," she said as he squished her against his chest.

"I missed you more," he gave another squeeze then kissed her cheek.

She stepped away and sat on one of the stools at the island counter in the kitchen. She popped a few black olives into her mouth and watched the snowfall outside.

"How's school?" Her dad asked as he cut potatoes.

"It's going good, lots of work but its ok," she said but her mind was still wandering.

"Any new boyfriends I should know about so I can have them tracked down?" he teased.

"_Dad_," she complained as she looked at him annoyed.

"Just checking," he laughed and continued cutting.

She looked back out the window again and let her mind wander as her mother looked at her carefully. Seda was rather quiet and ate a few more olives.

"Is something wrong honey?" her mom asked.

Seda continued looking outside, her arms resting on the counter and sighed.

"Huh? Oh, no. I'm just tired." she sighed again. She took a few more olives.

"You don't seem too thrilled to see us?" her mom joked.

"I am. I'm glad to be home I just…" she paused and thought a moment, "I can't believe tomorrow is Christmas all ready."

"I know. It always seems like a long time at the new year but then it pops up again as soon as summer is over." her dad said.

"You guys are coming to the dance fest right?" she said, suddenly remembering she had to find her music.

"Wouldn't miss it. We bought our tickets last month when Helen called to see if you were coming home. We actually bought one for you too in case you didn't dance but I guess you are." her dad spoke gain.

"Who's going in my place then?" she asked eating more olives.

"One of your friends if they want it," her mom said.

"Oh. Well I'll call someone and ask. Actually I've got to go cut my music so I'll be upstairs." she hopped off the stool. "Oh mom, did you take out my water costume for me?" she added before she left.

"Yes, its been hanging in the guest room since you wrote me. I had it pressed too."

"Ok, thanks a million. Hope it fits still."

"Oh Seda, please. You haven't grown since you were fifteen. You just wore it last summer." Her mom gave her a smirk.

"I know, I was just wondering. I'll be upstairs." She grinned and then ran upstairs.

It was quiet in the kitchen except for the slicing and dicing of various vegetables.

"She seems a bit pre occupied doesn't she?"

"In a way, yes, but I think I know what it is," her mom smiled.

"What? You think she's nervous about dancing again?"

"Well that too."

"What are you talking about then?"

"Oh Nicholas, you are such a man," she shook her head and continued dicing.

Seda walked down the hall way and entered one of the three guest rooms they had. She had always used the one in the corner to store all her costumes and dance things. She walked inside and found her costume she mentioned hanging up near the window. She walked over to it and ran her fingers around it.

This was one of her favorite costumes she owned. She had only used it once and it was a shame. It was made of a very light and flowing material and was dyed in such a way that it resembled watercolors. It would start from dark purples and navy blues at the skirt and change into lighter blues and up to nearly white at the shoulders. It was stitched with sequins around the waistline where the skirt started and then there were more sequins along the V shape in the back.

She couldn't resist and had to put it on. She stepped into the leotard and pulled the clear straps over her shoulders. Attached to the clear straps were pieces of the material that hung loosely and freely all the way down to her fingers, almost like strands of ribbons. The leotard was cut in a scoop front and a very low V in the back, extending down to the top of her waist. At her waist the flowing material extended down to her knees in a random cut, or other wise called a handkerchief skirt. It flowed around her like water and she felt mystical every time she wore it.

After looking at her self in the mirror for several minutes she finally took it off and left it to hang where it was before. She walked back into her bedroom and started going through her cd tower, looking for the specific song she had in mind. She found the one she was looking for and played it on her stereo. A slow song came on and then she started to rehearse the steps.

Something about the song or the mood just didn't seem right. She loved this song dearly but thoughts about him were distracting her greatly. She walked over to the stereo and started it over, going over the same steps again. She repeated this several times until she came too frustrated and stopped the song all together.

She couldn't get him out of her head, no matter what. Why? It couldn't be the song because it had no words. If the lyrics were so effective then she could understand her constant thoughts of him but there _were no _words. It was getting aggravating. She had to get her mind off him but she just couldn't. She told him she loved him and now she didn't know what to do. She felt depressed suddenly and then a thought came to her. She could hear him saying something in her memory but she couldn't understand what.

She finally got the better of herself and walked over to the stereo. She put the cd back in its case and put it away. She started looking through her collection again, there had to be something to get her mind off him. It was almost impossible to find a song that didn't deal with the issue of love in some way or another and it was more than infuriating. Why in the hell did every song have to be about love? She banged her fist on the desk.

She walked away from the desk and moved over to her luggage. She decided that doing laundry and wrapping her parent's gifts might do it so she set to work. Her parents looked at her strangely as she ran up and down the stairs at least a dozen times bringing loads of clothes to wash. The funniest part of it was she started washing clean clothes too. After she had set the first load she marched back upstairs and started wrapping their gifts.

* * *

She found her stress to be relieved for a time when members of her family started showing up at the house for the usual Christmas Eve dinner and of course exchanging gifts. She was surprised to find how hungry she was by the time they ate dinner because she loaded her plate and finished it off. They all sat around the table in the dining room talking and laughing about memories as she dozed off somewhat. The filling from the food, the dimness of the room and the scent of the candles induced her tiredness.

Naturally she couldn't have a moments peace because there was always an aunt or uncle questioning her about life, younger cousins pulling on her arm to play or just the constant babble around her. She was happy to be around the chaos because it reminded her of home but her mind was drifting elsewhere.

She finally came back to the world when it was time to open presents. They all sat around in the two-story family room with the huge ten-foot tree making its presence as always against the bay window. She was thankful for everything she received and enjoyed the games they played after. By ten o'clock the little ones were restless and getting anxious for Santa so slowly members of her family gathered their things and drove away down the tree lined road and into the snow.

She helped clean up the table and put away the left overs with her parents then kissed them both good night and made her way to her room. It was always tradition, since Seda could remember, that her parents would put her to bed and then wait for to fall asleep before they let Santa arrive. Of course when she was nine she discovered the secret but they still continued to put out her gifts on Christmas Eve, even now. It was more exciting to wake up in the morning and find your gifts under the tree than to see them weeks before. It kept the child like feeling alive for the season.

What her parents still didn't know was that every year she would lie in her bed and wait for the sound of their bedroom door to close after they were done with the gifts. It was always around two or three in the morning that she would quietly sneak out of her room, tip toe down the hall and make her way silently down the stairs. She would make her cup of hot chocolate, sit in her favorite spot on the window seat and curl up. It was the most peaceful thing to sit with all the lights off except for those from the tree and just think about what ever was on her mind, thoughts on a frozen winter night.

"Seda?"

She quickly turned her head to see her mother on the stairs.

"What are you doing?" she asked softly, still standing on the stairs.

"Just thinking," she answered. Her mother came down the stairs and into the living room. She stood in front of her and looked concerned.

"I thought you would be sleeping. It's a bit late isn't it?"

"Mom," she sighed, "I've been sitting like this every year since I was ten. I always wait for you and dad to go to sleep and then I sneak downstairs, get my hot chocolate and sit and watch the tree." She curled up inside her robe more and sipped her drink.

"You have? I had no idea. You've really been doing that for all these years?"

"Yes," she answered. "It's peaceful."

"Mind if I join you?" she whispered.

Seda shook her head and then her mother made her self a cup of hot chocolate too and then joined Seda on the window seat. They sat there silently for a while, simply watching the glow of tree lights reflecting on the wrapping paper and the ornaments.

"Is something bothering you honey?" her mother asked quietly, sipping her drink.

"No, I'm _happy_ to be home," she replied softly.

"I know that but… something about you has changed."

"I'm still me, mom."

"That's not what I'm talking about dear," her mother finally looked at her.

Seda tilted her head to the side as if asking her what she meant. Oh gods please don't let it be that she thought desperately. She was always very open with her mother about her emotions but now really wasn't the time to discuss those feelings.

"I think you've been thinking about something very deeply ever since you came home, or _someone_ even," she continued to watch Seda's face.

Seda looked out the window. "I don't want to talk about it," she said.

"You know you can tell me anything honey."

"I know but… I just can't."

"Why not? You don't think I've ever sat around like you are with the same kind of thoughts? I was a young woman once too, you know?" she laughed slightly.

"What thoughts?" she said looking out the window still.

"About falling in love and all the uncertainty and stress it causes. I can tell, trust me."

Seda looked at her quickly. "How long have you known?"

"I started noticing _the change _when you came home last month. It's even more obvious now." Her mother smiled at her warmly.

"How?" Seda asked getting flustered. She prayed that her mother didn't mean her lack of innocence and purity.

"Well first of all you started eating olives today. You _hate_ olives."

Seda's eyes widened. "I'm not pregnant if that's what you mean," she said almost offended.

"I didn't say that dear but love does strange things to all of us."

Seda didn't say anything and turned her head back to the window. She let her forehead rest against the glass and as she sighed the window fogged up.

"So who is he?" she pressed on.

"I'm not in love with him… I don't think I am anyway… no I'm not… I don't know." She moaned and then her mother took her hand and held it.

"You know… we've come to that point where I am no longer just your mother… I am your friend. When I say what I'm about to say I want you to remember I am your oldest and dearest friend. I just hope, I really hope that you knew you loved him before you gave your self over."

It was silent until Seda realized what she said. Her face shot up and looked at her mother, her mouth opened and stunned. Then she felt the heat in her cheeks as she began blushing. She did not hear that from her mother's mouth, no she definitely did not.

"Mom," she began not knowing what to say because she was embarrassed and shocked all at once.

Seda," her mother gave her a look only a mother could. "I'm not trying to embarrass you about talking like this. I'm trying to help you. That's my job." She gave Seda's hand a little squeeze and then continued drinking her hot chocolate.

Seda sighed and knew she couldn't fool her mother any longer. It was true she thought; mothers knew _everything_. Seda leaned her head against her mother's chest and sighed.

"How do you know? I mean, how do you _really_ know for sure?" She sighed once more.

Her mother began stroking Seda's hair softly and gave a small sigh also. "You just _know_."

They didn't say anything else and just sat there in the silence together. They watched the lights glow around the room, enjoying the others company sincerely and rested. Seda continued to breathe slowly as the ring around her neck heated up momentarily and the mark on her chest glowed into life faintly. It wasn't seen but she could feel it.

A/N: As some of you may have noticed there is a short "poem slash thoughts" thing posted on my main page entitled _Thoughts on a Frozen Winter Night, _which so happens to make its first cameo in this chapter. I explained in that other writing that it was meant for a future chapter and this just so happens to be it. Read it if you can because it goes more in depth about Seda's feelings at the moment. Thank you all for reading as usual. Toodles!


	49. Come To Me

Ok, if you didn't do so all ready then I recommend you read Thoughts on a Frozen Winter Night (can be found on my main page) to better explain Seda's thoughts in the previous chapter. It will bring so much more depth to her spirituality and how scary it is for her to feel so unsure. It's beautiful if you understand the meaning it possesses and how extraordinary love can really be. Oy, listen to me, I sound like a love doctor or something. I really think this story is starting to embed itself in my brain. Ah well, Toodles!

A/N: _I realize Snape seemed a bit out of character in the last chapter with all his random thoughts but the reason I included it is because it shows part of his mind trying to reach out for something he never had. On the other hand you still get his bitterness when he mentions he will have to break her heart because he knows he is just another one of Voldemort's monsters, even if he is loyal to Dumbledore. So I am sorry for his "romantic" side but in a way it had to be done. Don't think him a true mush yet.

* * *

_

He woke up in the middle of the night with a most peculiar feeling. He just had a very strange dream about nothing practically and then he heard her voice out of nowhere. She kept saying, "I think I love you" over and over until he finally searched his dream further and saw something. There was a strange glowing coming from the black oblivion and it moved steadily towards him. It came over him directly and he was blinded by it but he could feel its presence. He heard her voice one last time and then something burned across his chest, near his heart and he woke with a start.

He sat up like a bolt of lightening and panted heavily. He looked around him, peering through the darkness and saw the remaining glow from a presence fading into the dark. He looked down when he felt a throb over his chest and pulled open the top of his nightshirt. There was a red mark like he had been slashed by fire and it pulsed eerily around his heart. He stared at it blankly, not knowing what the fuck it was then fell back against the pillows. He continued panting and tried to think what caused this. All he could think about was her face and hearing her say, "I think I love you," again and again.

* * *

Christmas morning was always a relaxing event. It was so much more enjoyed than the chaos from the previous night with all the family members and little children running amok. It was the same every year; Seda and her parents would spend Christmas day together and alone. It started with their exchange of gifts and then they would watch movies, eat leftovers, go horseback riding and whatever else they felt like doing. It was their time and they treasured it. 

The day seemed to pass by quickly though and before she knew it, it was almost over. She was sitting up in her room listening to a new cd on her headphones as she read through a new book too. When one particular song came on though she stopped reading. As the song continued playing she sat bolt upright and listened with all her might. Her eyes started to zoom in different directions and her mouth dropped open slightly. When she had heard enough of it she took it out of her head set and put it in her stereo. She played it over and as it played she immediately put her hands to her head.

She quickly started it over again and began running through her dance routine she originally choreographed to another song. When the song was over she hit stop and walked backwards from the stereo with her hands on her head again.

"Holy… this is the one," she panted. The song was perfect and so perfect she almost cried. It was the first time she had heard a song for the very first time and danced through the entire thing with out stopping. She brought her hands to her mouth and stared wide eyed at the stereo as if it were some amazing creation.

She walked to the stereo again and started the song over. She backed away and began dancing once more, this time putting her soul into it. When it was over she started it again and danced the same routine over. She eventually put the song on repeat and continued repeating the dance in small motions. After the seventh time she collapsed onto her bed and stared at the ceiling.

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you," she said looking beyond her ceiling and into the heavens. She grabbed the necklace around her neck and twiddled the ring and the cross between her fingers while she stared blankly above her.

Monday came extremely fast and she was glad it did. At eight o'clock she left her house and drove to the theatre for rehearsal. She was excited and nervous at the same time. She hadn't seen many of these people in over six months and she missed them considerably and yet she was nervous about dancing again.

She pulled open the doors to the main entrance of the theatre and stepped inside out of the cold. She walked around a large lobby until she came to the east wing set of doors that led into the auditorium. She hiked her dance bag up higher over her shoulder and took a deep breath. She pulled open one of the doors and walked inside. There were dozens of girls and boys of various ages all sitting in the auditorium seats or up on the stage stretching. She walked a few steps down the side aisle and then the door clicked shut behind her.

She saw her old director and teacher sitting in one of the seats near the front of the auditorium and then she got excited and walked quickly towards her. A few girls that knew her opened their mouths excitedly to greet her but Seda put a finger to her mouth to make them hush. She dropped her bag before she got a few steps within reach and then she leaned over and put her hands over her director's eyes.

"Who's there? Is that you Maggie?" she laughed.

"No, it's me," she said and took her hands away.

Her director quickly turned in her seat and her mouth just about hit the ground.

"Seda!" she yelled and stood up quickly.

"Hello Mrs. Casey," she said grinning and then the woman pulled her into a very tight hug. They embraced for a long moment and then she leaned back and kissed Seda once on each cheek.

"I can not believe you are really here darling. It feels like it's been ages!" she grinned again and looked over her former student.

"I feel like I've aged," Seda admitted.

"Well any how, it's truly delightful to see you darling. How have you been? School and everything treating you well?" she asked enthusiastically.

"Yeah, it's all great."

"Marvelous," she added. "I know some people have been dying to see you." she turned and announced that Seda was there and the ones who weren't over there all ready came rushing over to see her.

There were murmurs of people saying hello and other greetings and it was almost overwhelming. She was being swamped with hugs and kisses on the cheek that she nearly lost her balance. Finally one of her littlest friends got passed overhead so she could see Seda. Seda took the little girl out of the air and hugged her.

"Juliana! Did you miss me?" she said happily as she held the little girl in her arms.

"Yeah," she squeaked and then she wrapped her arms around Seda's neck and hugged her. "I'm three now," she squeaked again. Seda laughed and so did the others around her.

"Really? You've gotten old. Pretty soon you'll be as old as me," she smiled into the little girls hair.

"All right everyone, let's get up on the stage and warm up," the director called out happily. Students started moving onto the stage and then she put the girl down and let her go up the stairs onto the stage.

Seda tossed her bag onto one of the seats and took off her coat and jeans. She slipped her leg warmers on over her pink tights and then pulled out her canvas ballet shoes and put them on. She pulled her sweater off and tied it around her black leotard then ran up to the stage and began stretching. She was truly happy and carefree once more.

The rehearsals were going very well for her. She went back on Tuesday and Wednesday from nine to three for rehearsals and then before she knew it the show was starting. She stood back stage and watched as other performers went before her and then she nervously paced back and forth in small circles until it was her turn.

She always got a little nervous a few minutes before she went on and it never changed. Ever since she could remember, just before she would go on stage she would get so nervous she felt like she had to use the bathroom but it was just nerves. As soon as she stepped onto the stage she was fine.

It was a full house she noticed, which meant the theatre was packed to capacity. This particular theatre held ten thousand people and it was definitely ten thousand people strong. Every time they would applaud it would just about bring the roof down.

Before she could even think about her dance in her head a sudden tingling was coming from around her heart. She didn't know why but she instinctively looked out into the audience and looked for something. She didn't know what she was looking for but definitely something. Then for a second she could have sworn she a swish of black robes but it couldn't have been possible. It had to be the curtains or something.

"Severus?" she whispered staring out at it.

"You're up Seda," she heard someone say.

"Seda, it's your turn," she heard some one say more urgently.

She snapped out of it and walked out onto the black stage. She took her starting position and waited for the stage lights to go up. It was a few moments before her music started but just enough time to see a black figure walking towards the back of the auditorium. She tried not to move now that she was on stage so she stared out the corner of her eyes. It just could not be possible. Then her music started.

She forgot everything else and began to move, the moves she had been doing over and over for weeks. It was funny how when one was on the stage everything blacks out except for them self and the stage. Everything is silent except for the booming sound of music playing overhead and their heart beat. It was thrilling.

Wash away the thoughts inside  
That keep my mind away from you  
No more love and no more pride  
Well thoughts are all I have to do

The music was filling her up with emotions she didn't think she had and an energy that made her feel every muscle stretching and extending to its limit. She felt the stage beneath her bare feet, as she had decided to dance bare foot which was easier since the stage was so slippery in her other shoes. She moved with a growing passion.

Ooh, remember when it rained  
Felt the ground and looked up high  
And called your name  
Ooh, remember when it rained  
In the darkness I remain

She was soon leaping feet into the air with power and turning with grace as her arms extended in the right places. Her legs would extend at an incredible height and she did it with ease. It felt like everything was a dream and yet she felt so alive on the stage. The words of the song struck into her soul and lifted her higher and she kept moving.

Tears of hope run down my skin  
Tears for you that will not dry  
They magnify the one within  
Let the outside slowly die

She was leaping into the air even higher, turning faster and more fluidly and capturing the attention of everyone with her presence on the stage. The song was smooth and beautiful and yet she was on fire and yearning for more. This energy kept building inside her as she executed everything gracefully and naturally.

Ooh, remember when it rained  
I felt the ground and looked up high  
And called your name  
Ooh, remember when it rained  
In the water I remain

The intensity of the song was building and then it came to a pause and she walked slowly and gracefully on the stage, looking out at something in the audience but not knowing what it was. She used that energy and moved as the song picked up again, beginning a long series of turns and pirouettes that brought applause as she danced.

Running down, running down  
Running down, running down  
Running down, running down  
Running down

The song had hit its full power and she exerted most of her energy jumping, leaping in the air and using her strength to hold her in elegant and unnatural positions. As the song slowed down to its finale she could feel her heart pounding, trying to break through her chest. She danced slowly into her final pose and was still looking out into the audience as her emotions from the dance filled her with some unknown feeling.

She felt tears streaming down her face as the song came to its end and she landed in her final pose, sitting with one knee bent under her and the other leg stretching out behind her. Her left arm was bent up to her chest as she placed her hand over her heart and extended her right arm out, reaching for something. All her attention was focused on the energy coming from the back of the auditorium and she felt the tears roll down her face even more. The music finally stopped and the audience erupted into applause.

She couldn't hear them clapping and cheering though. The only thing she could hear was her heart pounding and her breath coming in gasps. She knew she was supposed to be getting off the stage soon but she remained in her final pose still. She could see people in the audience continue cheering but she couldn't move. Her chest was swelling heavily with each breath and then she would quiver as she released it. The tears were still pouring down her cheeks and then she tried to get up. She felt her hand move but everything suddenly turned black and she collapsed.

* * *

She was standing on the edge of the lake and listening for the call of some unknown presence. She heard it call her name softly and she searched for it. Then she spotted it. Standing in the clearing of the fog was a black figure on the lake. She tried to move for it and stepped onto the glassy surface of the water. She came nearer to the figure and extended her hand to touch it. She could feel its warmth and yet she could not see its face. It raised its own hand to her and she felt its fingers among her skin. She shivered at its touch but wanted it to continue, she needed this. It gave her an energy she had never experienced and if it went away she would feel lost.

She could hear people around her screaming and panicking, chaos going everywhere. She felt people moving her but she couldn't open her eyes or respond. She was stuck somewhere else and she didn't know how to get back. How would she ever get back? She wasn't even sure she wanted to go back.

She could hear the sounds of paramedics around her now; talking quickly and seriously to people she couldn't see. She heard the sounds of the sirens going off and she could feel her self strapped into place on a very stiff board. She felt someone place an oxygen mask over her face but couldn't feel the air it supplied her.

The face was becoming clearer as she desperately searched for a reason to know who or what it was. She could almost see it now and she longed for this moment, she had waited for so long. She heard it say her name again, trying to pull her in closer and she wanted to move closer but she couldn't. She needed to see it fully but it persisted in calling her again. She was being pulled away from it and she screamed to touch it again. She broke away from the force that was keeping her from it and she tried to run to it and grab onto it for fear of her life. It reached out for her again but then the surface beneath her gave away and she fell into the water.

She knew she was screaming and crying out for help but she couldn't say what she wanted. She felt herself becoming extremely nauseous and yet she could not throw up the vileness. She heard the sounds of men and women talking in medical terms and trying to remain calm as they ordered for more help. She felt people pressing their hands onto her body but she couldn't feel the warmth of their skin. She continued crying out for help but no one was listening to her. She felt like her limbs were being torn off and still no one was taking away this pain.

The icy coldness hit her like knives, ripping at her flesh and numbing her with a pain beyond reason. She looked up at the figure and screamed for it to help her but it just watched her drown, getting sucked into the black surroundings. The hole of light closed in and the darkness swallowed her into its pit of hell. She screamed until she could scream no more, her throat tearing and blood spilling into her mouth. She continued sinking further into the water until she gave up her struggle. She let death or whatever it was take her as her lungs exploded within her and her heart shattered into a million pieces. She was fading away and she would never come back. That figure would never come for her and she would just keep fading until she was gone forever.

Seda's eyes blinked open and the room around her was blurry. She blinked a few more times and tried to make out where she was. The room was white and hazy and there were lights shining in her face. She tried to move but she felt paralyzed. She shifted her eyes in many directions to try and make any sense of what was going on.

She looked down over her nose and saw the clear plastic mask resting over her face, pumping oxygen into her lungs. She moved her fingers slightly but knew they were bound to something. She was able to move her head a few inches and saw the IV's sticking out her arms and hand, obviously pumping her full of some medication. What the fuck was going on she screamed in her head.

She saw a man walk into the room with a white coat and he checked some machine next to her. He looked down at her and starting talking but she couldn't hear what he was saying. Why the hell was he moving his mouth and not talking? She just looked up at him, asking him silently where she was and what was happening but then her eyes felt heavy and everything went black again.

The same throb in her chest was coming back and pulsing stronger than ever. It was getting to the point that she just wanted to rip out her damn heart and rid of it all together. She tried to see around her but everything was still black. She couldn't move now either. What the hell was going on she screamed again. All she could think about was the horrid pain in her chest and the burning it produced. It was unbearable and she couldn't take much more. She tried screaming but she couldn't find her voice.

* * *

Severus was sitting in the staff room for a drink when something suddenly throbbed in his chest. He dropped the glass he was holding as the pain in his chest burned more deeply. 

"Severus?" said McGonagall quickly.

He started panting from the pain and tried to stand up. He hadn't felt a sensation like this since the Dark Lord required his assistance and his arm would burn black.

"Severus, what's wrong?" she said rushing over to him.

He tried to fight the throbbing in his chest but he couldn't any longer. He pulled open his shirt and saw the same mark he had a few nights ago, burning with a sickening dark red color like a heart. McGonagall shrieked and tried to assist him.

"What is that?" she said nervously.

"Get Dumbledore, quickly," he demanded through clenched teeth.

He began to pant heavily as he tried to keep himself calm. He had an idea what this was but couldn't act upon it just yet. All he heard in his head were her screams of pain and cries for help. Every time she would scream the throb in his chest would burn with more intensity. It was starting to make him feel dizzy.

Dumbledore came walking out of the fireplace and over to Severus who was trying to sit up in his chair. He looked at the burn closely then up to his face. They looked at each other for a long moment.

"You know what this is?" Dumbledore asked calmly.

"It's her," he said still trying to overcome the pain.

"Where is she?" Dumbledore asked quickly.

"I don't know." He gripped the arms of the chair to ease the burning.

"Is she experiencing another dream, Severus?" Dumbledore looked serious.

"Yes," he answered in a hiss, the pain going beyond his control.

"What happens with out that potion, Severus?" Dumbledore said sternly all ready knowing the answer though.

"She is dying," he panted heavily again and tried to take deep breaths to steady him self.

"We must find her soon." Dumbledore stood up. He looked at McGonagall seriously. "I will assist Severus in finding her but I need you to alert St. Mungo's at once. Her parents will need to be advised also if anything should happen."

"But Albus… how are you going to find her?" she looked frightened.

"That will be up to Severus. Now alert them immediately, Minerva, quickly."

He turned back to Severus as McGonagall rushed out of the room. He placed a hand under his arm and pulled him up with strength surprising for an old man. Severus staggered a bit but kept his balance. He pressed a hand to his chest and tried to force the throbbing away. It didn't work.

"Severus, do you know why you can feel her?" Dumbledore watched him closely with his light blue eyes. It seemed as though he all ready knew how.

"I am not certain, Headmaster." He breathed deeply again.

Dumbledore looked at him blankly for a moment and then subtle realization came over his face. Something was clicking inside his head.

"All right. We will start by searching her house. The emotions you can feel through her will increase as you close in distance. Can you walk, Severus?"

"Yes," he said and then Dumbledore did something with his wand and Fawkes flashed into the room. They both took hold of the bird and then in another flash they were gone.

They reappeared in the living room of her house but it seemed it was empty. Severus almost hunched over from the increase of pain but stood straight and moved about the dark house. Dumbledore left his side for a few moments and returned.

"They are not here. If she was to experience another dream while in the company of others would they notice, Severus?" Dumbledore didn't know the details to this potion or dream experiment.

"Yes," he hissed again. "If they witnessed what I have then they will think she's gone into an anxiety attack or something similar."

"Naturally. Severus, you must try and locate her by thought. We may not find her until it's too late. I've sent Fawkes ahead but he can only sense so much."

Severus knew he was implying Legilimency but she may not know how to respond to it. He could still feel her cries for help but he could not feel where she was. He closed his eyes and concentrated on her screams, trying to break through her dream and locate her. His energy was decreasing from the pain still burning in him but he concentrated as best he could, he had to.

Something finally came in as a flash through out his mind. He saw visions of white and muggle doctors standing above his point of view and then it was gone. He opened his eyes and panted while he searched his mind again.

"She's in a hospital somewhere and…" he stopped when Fawkes came flashing into the room. The bird circled over their heads, singing a soft tune.

"He's found her," Dumbledore said with a slight smile but was quickly vanished by Snape's look of fear. They grabbed hold of the bird again and vanished with a flash of light and a small pop.

* * *

She remained in a black oblivion as her cries for help continued. She felt her heart throbbing in an indescribable pain and soon she felt she would just give up all together. Yet she hung on in hopes that someone would hear her screaming and come save her. Her only tie to life was the pain in her and even that seemed to feel like it was giving up. 

She searched around in the darkness for a way out but it seemed hopeless. There was nothing but black. She felt like she was wandering around in a dark room for a light switch but the walls seemed to move around every time she got near. She finally cried out one more time and then a small light came in the distance. It was growing brighter as it came closer and soon it was hovering around her, surrounding her in a globe of golden light. She followed wherever it was taking her and hoped this was the way out. She heard an unearthly voice speak but not in words.

"Seda… you must hold on… you can not give up now… you need to understand first… go… I will guide you… don't let go… I can not spare you much longer… go"

The light shined so brightly then that she was blinded and when she looked around she saw the same room again. She still had a mask covering her face as well as the IV's in her arms. She noticed now that there were no lights shining down on her face and the room was dark. She tried to move but she was too weak. Where was she?

The burning in her chest was increasing more as she struggled to locate her self. She had a weird sensation that someone was looking for her but she didn't know what it meant. All she could think about now was seeing him again, praying for him to take this pain from her and make it disappear forever. She waited for his answers but they didn't come. She sat in the dark room and looked around her frantically, trying to search for the answers to her many questions.

* * *

Severus and Dumbledore came out of the shadows in an empty hallway. They walked silently towards a door and he could feel her pain become his pain as it increased. They pushed open the doors and came to another hall, this time there were many rooms on each side and a desk at the end. There were two muggles sitting on chairs and it seemed that they were sleeping. Dumbledore looked at Severus. 

"These are her parents, Severus." Dumbledore nodded down at the pair. "You take her out of here and I will deal with the muggles. I will need to make it as quick as possible as the doctors will soon start questioning. Fawkes is waiting outside for you."

Severus nodded and set off around the corner. He looked in each room for any sign of her. He finally came to the end of a hall and looked in the second to last room. She was there. He opened the door quietly and slipped inside. He looked down at her in near horror seeing her hooked up to so many tubes, wires and machines. He walked around to one side of the hospital bed and noticed all the fluids they were injecting into her. There was a large bandage wrapping around her chest but blood was still seeping through.

He pulled out his wand and muttered spells that would safely remove the equipment from her body. When they were gone he leaned over to lift the mask from her face and she woke. Her eyes darted up towards him and he saw the fear crying out. He lifted it off her head and placed on the bed. They stared at each other for a moment, the throbbing in each of their chests pulsing at the same speed.

"Severus," she whispered. She was extremely pale and weak. He knew that the dream had taken place and she was suffering with out the restorative potion. It was too late now for that, he knew it; the affects were taking place permanently. Her only hope was getting a healer to work a miracle on her or she would slowly suffer a misery until she came to death or permanent unconsciousness.

"Severus," she breathed again. "Please… take… me out… of here." She breathed desperately. "Please…" she began to break into small cries as tears came down her face.

"Hush. You are wasting your energy," he placed his wand back in his robes and leaned over her. "I'm going to take you out of here," he whispered.

"You… didn't come… for me… you didn't… come," she began to sob quietly as her eyes rolled back into her head continuously. She was barely breathing.

"Hush," he said as he placed his arms underneath her body. He lifted her up with his remaining strength as her arms fell limply to her sides. He situated her so that she leaned against his chest in a cradling position for support and then he carried her out of the room.

"Why… didn't you… come?" she continued to cry weakly until her eyes rolled back into her head and she was unconscious again.

He walked quickly down the aisle towards the hall Dumbledore was in. He saw Dumbledore talking to her parents and they looked extremely confused. Dumbledore turned to see Severus walking down the hall with Seda limp in his arms and then her mother began to cry into her husband's chest.

"Is she dying?" her father said robotically as he watched him carry Seda closer.

Dumbledore placed an arm on his shoulder. "She needs the help of our healers. There is nothing your doctors can do for her any more. Please say your good byes quickly, we need to get her out of here as soon as possible."

Severus walked up beside them and looked blankly at Dumbledore.

"She is unconscious. I need to get her out of here now." He said almost with no tone.

Her mother looked at Seda in his arms and sniffed several times. She placed a kiss on her head and looked up at Severus. "Please take care of her. She is my life." She sniffed again and cried softly.

"I love you peanut," her father whispered into her ear before he kissed her head too.

"Go Severus, St. Mungo's will be waiting." Dumbledore said sadly.

Severus walked down the hall quickly and disappeared around the corner. He could still hear her mother's cries as walked away. He found Fawkes just outside the side door and the bird flew over him as he came outside into the cold air. He pulled Seda closer, feeling both the burn in her chest and his and he pulsed with anger. He lifted her a little higher into his arms, trying to shield her from the cold.

He leaned into her ear and whispered, "I did come for you," before he took hold of Fawkes and disappeared.

A/N: The song Seda danced too is _Remember When It Rained _by Josh Groban. I really recommend you listen to this song if you've never heard it because it is incredibly moving. The words can be interpreted many ways and yet they hold a certain meaning that can be told through this story. Here is the link to Josh Groban's site joshgroban dot com and the song playing right away is "the song" all though it's only a short clip but you get the idea.


	50. Let the Sun Shine Down Upon Me

_Hello again! Well you are probably wondering why this chapter disappeared for a while. Well actually I wasn't happy with it so I took it down and re wrote it. I have to say the previous ending was not what I wanted at all so I think I've finally found what I wanted with this newly revised chapter. I've changed some things around and altered the entire ending. I think it makes more sense now. Toodles!_

_

* * *

_

Severus appeared in the main hall of St. Mungo's and then in a flash Fawkes had disappeared. He saw several medi-wizards and healers walk towards him quickly as he held onto her tighter.

"He's found her. Let's get her up stairs, quickly." An older woman said loudly to the others. "How long has she been out like this?" She looked at Severus.

"I am not certain but I believe she's been in and out of consciousness for several hours."

The woman nodded and quickened her pace towards the lift. They pulled it open and Severus carried Seda onto it and then they ascended up several floors. They got off and led him down a hall and turned right into a room. He lowered her onto the bed and her body molded to it, being too limp to support itself.

One of the healers turned to him with a look of grief and said, "I'm sorry but you are going to have to leave. We will notify Albus Dumbledore as soon as we get her stable."

Severus stared at her blankly then nodded slowly. He glanced down at the victim on the bed then felt his chest twitch with a dull throb. He watched for another moment then walked out of the room and left her in their care, his chest still burning.

* * *

She opened her eyes again and was aware she was some place else. This time she was not wearing an oxygen mask. She still felt very weak and unable to move so she shifted her eyes around trying to figure out where she was. It was such an odd feeling because she felt like she had been sleeping for so long but she couldn't remember her dreams or what happened exactly. 

"Miss Wood! You are finally awake!" She heard a woman's voice and several pairs of footsteps soon after.

"She doesn't seem to know where she is."

"It's the affects from the spells."

"I didn't think she would wake up."

There was whispering but she couldn't see who was talking. All she could see was directly above her and slightly to the side. A woman came into her view and looked down at her, trying to examine her eyes.

"She is still a bit dazed but she is awake. How do you feel Miss Wood?"

Seda tried to speak but she couldn't find her voice. She swallowed and took in a deep breath then continued to look up.

"Miss Wood, if you can say anything at all…" the voice trailed off as Seda felt her eyes get heavy and droop. "Miss Wood? She's not responding. The spells are still taking hold of her body."

She tried with all her might to keep her eyes open. She took another breath and tried to speak. She needed to know what was going on.

"Where…" she whispered finally. The woman looked down at her.

"Yes dear, what is it?"

"Am I…" she whispered again. Her eyes began to roll around.

"You are in St. Mungo's and you've been here for two days. Today is Saturday the first of January. We didn't think you were going to wake up, Miss Wood. Welcome back."

The woman smiled down at her then turned to face other people. "She will need to remain resting but we should notify…" her voice trailed off again as Seda stopped paying attention. She turned her head slightly to the left and stared out the window. She wanted to get out of there and soon.

On Sunday she was transported back to Hogwarts and remained under Madame Pomfrey's care. The healers and Madame Pomfrey explained to her what happened but she never listened to what they were saying. She was in too much of a daze to concentrate on anything. She never acknowledged any one's presence or even spoke. She simply layed in the hospital wing staring out the window and remained completely silent.

* * *

"How is she Poppy?" McGonagall asked as they sat in the staff room Wednesday. 

"She seems well but I'm concerned about her nocturnal habits."

"What do you mean?"

"Well you know she doesn't speak at all. She lays there during the day completely oblivious and barely listens when I'm speaking to her. During the night though," she took a breath and closed her eyes for a moment, "I'm not sure why but she cries her self to sleep every night. It's not just a cry like she's tired and in pain but a heart broken cry. I can barely stand to listen to it any more Minerva it's horrible. I don't understand what's going through her head because she won't speak."

She looked at McGonagall very worried and desperate.

"Has Severus seen to her at all?" McGonagall asked and Poppy shook her head.

"She will get over this in time, she just needs to understand."

Both women looked at the door to see Dumbledore walking in. He smiled at them softly as he took a seat near the fire.

"Get over what, Albus?" Poppy asked. "She's healed isn't she?"

"Getting lost in a dream can be a very frightening place, especially if you don't understand it."

"I thought… I thought she stopped having those dreams when they completed the sessions? They were supposed to go away." McGonagall said confused.

Dumbledore looked into the fire. "It was mentioned they would come back, Minerva, if the purpose was strong enough."

"What purpose is there, Albus? Are you certain it is just a dream?"

"There's a reason for everything even if it's not understood," he blinked, "until it's too late." There was a silence for a very long moment. "These are dreams she's having but powerful ones. I fear it will not let her rest until she understands." He rubbed his temple.

"Understand what? That is what _I_ don't understand!" McGonagall said sharply.

"Do you think it could be a controlling thing, Albus, like dark magic?" Poppy offered.

"It could be but I don't believe it is. It is a warning and we know nothing more than that." Dumbledore continued to rub his head.

McGonagall sighed. "I can't imagine her parents took this very well. That is their only child."

"No, they were quite disturbed but they understood we needed to take her. I've been keeping in contact with them and they are satisfied she's doing well but they worry still."

"Well why shouldn't they worry?" McGonagall said slowly. It was silent again for another minute.

"Did you ever find out who her real parents were?" Poppy finally asked.

"No. She was born the same time Voldemort was in full power and there were many unaccounted for deaths and disappearances at that time. Nobody knows what happened to her mother exactly, she vanished after she gave birth to Seda."

"What a shame." Poppy said shaking her head then she looked up. "But why was she found in America? Wasn't she born here?"

"No one is certain. They believe her mother was a European witch but no trace of the father was ever known. Her mother had to of been located here somewhere or else Seda would not have shown up in the book when she was eleven."

"Yes, you are right Albus. We sent out her letter but it was always returned because there was no trace of her anywhere. It was almost as if she existed but didn't at the same time." McGonagall added.

"That's very odd. How did you find her though?" Poppy went on.

Dumbledore smiled softly as he continued looking into the fire. "An American wizard I met years ago contacted me with some very interesting information. He mentioned there was an unregistered witch in the area and inquired if it may have been some one I knew. I considered the possibility that it could have been Seda because she was the same age as the one who had gone missing but the location was curious."

He sighed and went on. "It was then that I made arrangements with the American Ministry to look into this strange scenario and devised for a spy to investigate."

"Severus?" Poppy said in wonder and Dumbledore nodded.

"Severus delivered me constant updates about the situation with Seda since he posed as a professor in her university. When he discovered that she _was_ a witch he notified me and I was certain it was the same child. So then we went through with our plans to bring her home to Hogwarts." He finished by rubbing his temples one more time.

"That's interesting but what does this have to do with her dreams." Poppy said as her mind wandered.

Dumbledore looked over at her slowly as if she had said something very dangerous.

"Only she knows for sure," he said calmly then looked away.

Poppy and McGonagall continued talking for a while as Dumbledore came into deep thought, becoming aware of the signs.

* * *

He stared at her form on the opposite side of the room. He could hear her crying and something inside him was telling him to go to her but he dared not. The more it forced him the more he resisted. His chest started to burn as her sobs came more drastically but he still fought to keep away. As much as he hated standing there, lacking sleep and listening to her cry he could not turn away from her. He was stuck. He could either walk forward or he could go backwards and he didn't know which to choose. So he remained where he was and took in the sounds of her haunting cries, "please come to me," until she fell asleep. 

"Hello Severus," came a soft voice behind him. He didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

"Headmaster," he acknowledged quietly as he kept his focus on her.

"Why do you burden yourself like this?" he came to stand next to Snape in the shadows.

"Punishment," he said simply.

"For what? For caring about her?" he said this calmly.

"No, Headmaster, I do not care about the girl," his voice was hollow.

"She's a young woman, Severus, not a girl." It was silent for a moment. "You punish your self because you feel responsible, do you not?"

There was no answer, which meant yes.

"Do you know why she cries? She cries because she feels lost and alone while she knows the one thing that can ease her misery will not come."

"What thing?" he hissed.

Dumbledore turned his head to look at Snape. "You know why that burn came across you chest, Severus. You know why it still throbs beneath the many layers that shield it."

"I have no desire to understand it nor do I care." He was starting to feel bitter.

"You are not one of _his_ tools any longer. You are a human; a living, breathing man with a heart. Your heart is not made of ice, Severus."

"I'm still one of his creations and it dwells inside me."

"You were never meant to be his creation. Why do you think you turned if you didn't truly know where you stand?"

"For my protection, Headmaster. I'm just as foul as the others who remained loyal to him." His tone was completely cold.

"But you are not. You have suffered long enough by your obligations to the past and now you need to move on."

"It will always remain a part of me. There is no escaping it, Headmaster."

"That maybe so but you can't let it stand in your way, especially of the journey standing before you."

"My journey ended long ago. There is nothing for me." It was almost beginning to sound depressing but he held that firm tone even though it was quiet.

"No one's journey ends, Severus. Death is even a continuation of life's journey."

"Then I do not want this journey if it will blind me to my mistakes."

"You will not forget but you can move on and realize everyone's life is filled with them and they do go on living."

"Headmaster… I am repaying my debts by standing here unable to move. When they have ended I will not move on to better things but remain in the shadows where I've always been. I do not require this situation to lead me in the right direction. Good night."

Snape finished in a final tone and swept out of the Infirmary, leaving Dumbledore to stand with a small frown beneath his beard. The old man sighed as he walked forward. He moved over to the side of her bed and rested his hand gently on her sleeping head.

"He will see, child, give him time." He spoke quietly as he gazed down at her tear stained face. He flicked his wand and the blankets wrapped around her warmly, keeping her safe.

* * *

She awoke as the sun fell across her face, heating her skin with pleasant warmth. She sighed and rolled onto her back while trying to think about many things at once and ended up feeling dizzy by it. She rubbed her forehead gently and gave a small moan. 

"Good morning, Miss Wood." Poppy said quietly as she brought her breakfast.

Seda looked up slowly then said softly, "Morning."

Madame Pomfrey looked surprised for a moment because she had finally spoken.

"How do you feel today? Better?" She smiled warmly.

"I… don't know," she answered truthfully. She didn't know how she felt, sort of empty she supposed.

"Well, do you think you can handle some food today? It's been a while since you've eaten properly."

"I'll try," she answered truthfully again. Madame Pomfrey smiled and nodded then turned away after she set the tray down on her bed stand.

"Where is he?" Seda blurted out quietly. Madame Pomfrey stopped and turned around.

"Who dear?" She asked, looking at her curiously.

"Sev… Professor Snape," she quickly corrected her self. The older witch stood still for a moment, not sure why she asked that.

"I'm not sure. Why?" She remained still.

"I… never mind. It doesn't matter," she looked out the window again sadly.

"I can summon him if…"

"No!" she answered with a snap, looking back at Madame Pomfrey seriously.

The older witch was startled with Seda's sudden out burst. Her eyes widened for a moment then looked back at the girl with a sad face.

"No, it's fine, please don't," she added in a softer tone. "I was just… I was just wondering if he had told Hermione, that's all." She finished lamely, looking away.

The older witch thought for a moment before she replied. "I believe the Headmaster informed her." She looked at Seda for another moment. "When you have finished all of your food you may leave the Infirmary as long as you don't go wandering off the grounds. You are still under my care and I don't want you to get weak again."

Seda merely nodded and looked out the window a bit more before she pulled the bed stand over her lap and began eating. She finished ten minutes later and slid off the bed. She walked pass Madame Pomfrey's office quietly, peeking her head around the corner to make sure she wasn't being watched and then she dashed out the Infirmary silently.

She walked up the lonely halls of the castle and made her way to her rooms. When she walked inside everything was silent and still. She walked into the bedroom and noticed all her things had been returned and Aura's cage was empty. She suspected she was up in the owlery. She moved over to the bed and saw several letters sitting there. She climbed on top and rested on her stomach while she pulled the letters forward and opened the first one. She read through them all, half in a daze and fell asleep before she even finished the last one.

* * *

"I suppose she won't be coming down again," McGonagall said to Madame Pomfrey. 

"I suppose not. I am worried about her. She slipped out this morning and I didn't even see her go. She didn't eat lunch either. Do you think we should check on her?"

"If she's not down for breakfast I will go," McGonagall said.

"She asked about you this morning, Severus." She spoke to Snape who was eating quietly, trying not to listen to them talk.

He looked up at her curiously. He simply gave her a look that asked for him.

"She wanted to know where you were and if you had spoken to Hermione."

Everyone looked at him slowly, as if waiting for bad news. His black eyes glittered dangerously as he eyed them all slowly.

"I have been in the castle as usual," he said sneering then returned to his dinner.

No one bothered to continue speaking with him, it might cost them their lives.

* * *

She woke up with a start when she felt her self fall in her dream. She looked around. It was dark. She brought her hands up to her face to rub her eyes when she felt something wet. She moved her fingers around and realized they were tears. She had been crying in her dream. She rolled onto her back and sighed. What was going on with her? What had happened to her that made her become like this? She didn't understand. 

She sat up and looked at her watch. It was nearly midnight now. Had she really slept that long? She couldn't believe it. She immediately stood up from the bed and started pacing. She needed answers; she needed something, anything, anyone… someone.

She slipped on her robe and exited her rooms, making her way out into the dark corridor. She nearly ran down the stairs but instead of taking the usual direction towards the dungeons she went down a hidden staircase. She took many turns and more stairs until she came to a familiar hall. She walked up to the door at the end of the hall and took a deep breath. She knocked and waited. There was no answer and she knocked again. She knew he was there, she could feel it.

"Professor, please. I need to speak with you," she said into the wood. There was still no answer. "Professor I know you're there," she said again.

She knocked on the door once more and began to feel helpless.

"Open the door… I know you're there dammit," she said getting angry and sad at once. "I need answers… please!" she finally yelled as she felt her eyes sting.

She let her palm hit the wood as she fell against it. She slid down the door until she was crouched on the floor, pressing against the wood that blocked him away from her.

"Why didn't you come?" she said quietly. "You didn't come for me… I was alone… I was scared. How could you do this to me? You know I needed you! YOU DIDN'T COME!"

She pressed her hand to the wood as if she was trying to feel him and crumpled into a ball. She was defeated. She was weak. She was confused and alone.

"How could you ignore it? God Severus, please don't ignore me. Please… I can't… Severus…" she continued to breathe heavily into the door until she couldn't speak any more. She let the tears fall across her face silently as she sat there, waiting for him to answer.

* * *

He stood against the door on the other side, his hands placed on the wall, bracing him for support. He was listening to her plead but he was not going to open the door. It was torture listening to this but he couldn't allow it. He didn't ask for this and he didn't want it. He didn't ask for this girl to feel this way about him. This was not his fault. 

It had to be almost a half hour that she breathed uneasily into his door. Slowly her breaths had become softer as she got weaker and then it was silent. He listened to the silence as if someone were speaking very important words, straining to hear all he could of it. A minute had passed with silence and then he rested his forehead against the wood, closing his eyes and hating him self for the malicious heart he was forced to carry.

Before he could stop him self he opened the door. He looked down and saw her crumpled on the floor like a beaten child, her head resting in her hands. She looked up slowly and he saw the emotions on her face. It was almost a haunted expression covering her and he felt his heart wrench from the look alone. Her eyes seemed to be empty and lifeless.

"Miss Wood," he began softly, "why are you here?" He narrowed his eyes but it wasn't in anger. His eyes were almost soft with concern and guilt.

"Why didn't you come?" she said in a very hoarse voice, almost like a frog.

"Miss Wood," he was nearly at a loss for words. What was he supposed to say to her? How did he make her understand the position she was putting him in?

"Severus, please… tell me," she croaked again. Her eyes were still shining with tears.

He looked down at her, unsure of what to do. "What do you want me to tell you?"

She looked at him helplessly then her lip trembled and the remaining tears rolled down her cheek silently. She sniffed and dropped her head to her chest, shaking it slowly and feeling like a fool. She simply couldn't believe he was acting as though nothing happened. This was tearing her apart.

He watched her spiral downwards in a silent defeat and felt even guiltier than he did before. He leaned down and slid his arms underneath hers, lifted her up then pulled her into his robe and let the door shut with a soft click. She fell against him and buried her face in his chest. He wrapped his robe around her body and spoke into her ear.

"I think we need to sit down and talk about a few things."

They stood there for a minute until she finally nodded. He released her from his robe and moved towards his sitting room. She followed and sat down in one of the armchairs when he gestured for her to sit. He muttered the spell for the fire to burn in the grate and then he sat down across from her.

"Do you need a drink?" he asked cautiously. She merely shrugged as she curled up into the chair, staring at the fireplace. He conjured a pot of tea anyway and poured her a cup. She took it absently and held it in her lap as she continued to look away from him.

"I didn't mean to say it," she said suddenly. She was trying very hard to focus anywhere away from him.

"Say what, Miss Wood?"

"You know what I'm talking about. Don't pretend you didn't hear it."

He thought for a moment then it came to him. So she did remember saying it. He eyed her closely, watching her emotions.

"I believe you were in another state of mind when you said it," he said simply.

She sniffed again and wiped her tears on her sleeve. "Don't make this worse than it is," she said through her soft breaths behind her sleeve. She set the cup on the side table and pressed both sleeves into her face.

"Miss Wood, I'm not trying to make this worse. I just don't believe you understood what you were saying. Do you realize what you were proposing?" his tone was firm.

"Yes… I don't know. I… don't understand. I don't know why I said that." she sniffed again.

"You were hoping that I would return…" he paused. He really had no idea what he should say. Nothing it seemed would make this any easier. He was trying to use his cool Slytherin logic but her Gryffindor emotions were standing in his way.

"Miss Wood… you really shouldn't say something like that unless you are absolutely certain you understand what it means. That area is not a game to be messed around with." His voice was very calm and cool.

"I thought I did know at that moment but… now I'm not sure. I'm such a fool." She shook her head in her hands, still wiping the tears from her face.

He didn't say anything back to her because he didn't know what to say to that. It was silent except for her sniffing.

"Do you know what happened to you? The night you had that dream, can you remember?" He was trying to get away from that previous subject.

She raised her head slightly but he still couldn't see her face. "The last things I remember was… dancing… as I was preparing for my bow I just remember everything going black. Then the dream started and there were flashes of what was happening at the same time. It was so weird. It was almost real this time. It was… horrible."

"Do you remember anything else? What happened after the dream? Anything at all?" he continued questioning her.

She shook her head and croaked, "I only remember waking up in the hospital for a minute then falling asleep. Then I remember waking up in St. Mungo's or whatever and that's it. Everything was so hazy." She looked up at him slowly. "But what I remember the most was… waiting for you." Her eyes were still cold and lifeless as she looked at him.

"Do you remember how you got to St. Mungo's?" he asked and she shook her head. "Dumbledore and I went to your house looking for you. We found you in the hospital and it was I who took you to St. Mungo's."

"I don't remember." She looked at him confused.

"At that point you were suffering severely from the affects of the dream. You were unconscious barely a minute after I found you."

"But… how did you know… how did you know something was wrong?" She looked even more confused and scared even.

He looked at her seriously for a moment then looked away. "I had a strange occurrence that informed me something was wrong."

"What do you mean?"

He took a breath. "There was an odd mark on my chest, like a slash or fire mark and I could sense your emotions. I informed the Headmaster and we left immediately to find you." His tone was dropping lower and lower.

"Why though? Why didn't you just leave me in the hospital at home?"

He looked back at her slowly and eyed her darkly. "Because you were dying, Seda."

It seemed to take a moment for that to sink in to her head. When it did she felt her stomach turn over and she froze, her eyes wide with fear.

"What?" she said in a whisper, feeling her lack of oxygen.

He held her stare of disbelief. "Your dream has reached the level now that every time you have it if you aren't given a reversal potion you may fall into a permanent sleep. The longer you are stuck within it… the more it decreases you." His voice was distant.

"I… you mean… how is this possible? How do you know this? I mean maybe you are wrong. It's just a dream, how can it…" her head was spinning and she was feeling weak.

"I am not wrong, I know this for a fact now. You have known all along that this is not a normal dream. It is intensifying with every passing and sooner or later…" there was no easy way to deliver this.

She swallowed hard. "It will kill me," she said blankly, staring through him.

"It seems it will never give up until you figure out what it means."

"So," she swallowed again, "is this like some spell or something? I mean how is something as simple as a dream…" her voice was cracking with near hysteria.

"I don't believe it's a spell. All though I can not say exactly what it is." He was watching her become more frightened by the second, it was written all over her body. She was staring blankly, in shock about what she was hearing. Her tears seemed to stop as she forgot everything around her.

"So am I… I mean will it stop or… if I don't stop them… I'm going to… die?" she took a quivering breath. Her voice was completely hollow and small.

He stared at her intensely, feeling her fear radiating around the room. He took a deep breath and said, "In complete truth… yes." His voice was almost a whisper.

She stared through him for a few minutes, bringing on a deathly silence. She finally came back to her self and focused in on his eyes once more.

"How long?" she asked seriously.

He licked his lips smoothly then said, "It's hard to say. It seems you are only in danger when the dreams come but… it's not certain." He figured he might as well tell her the truth. There was no use trying to sugar coat the situation, it was far too serious now.

She swallowed difficultly and tilted her head to the side slightly. "Why didn't you come to me then?" He looked back at her curiously. "You knew I was in the hospital wing and yet you never came to see me. Why would you let me sit there alone and suffer? Please tell me, I want to know." She was furrowing her eyebrows now and trying to hold back the trembling in her lip.

"I didn't know what I would say to you," he answered honestly.

Her mouth opened slightly in disbelief. "You didn't have to say anything. You could have just sat there. Don't you realize how scared I was?" Her lip was trembling again but she was not going to allow her self to cry.

"Miss Wood…" he began.

"Oh gods Severus, please. Why are you doing this?" her eyes watered up.

"Doing what?" he said, feeling awkward.

"Why do you keep pretending that nothing happened between us? I don't get it!" She pierced him with a very cold look.

"We can't have what you want. It simply cannot be done. You have to realize that." His voice was rising.

"Then why did you sleep with me? And don't tell me it was just a night of… pleasure. You know it wasn't!" she yelled standing up and towering over him.

"Control yourself," he snapped.

"You know it wasn't that… don't you? You didn't… you said before you wouldn't regret it. You don't do you?" she said in a very stern tone, challenging him.

"This is ridiculous. Stop acting like a child!"

"I'm not! Why won't you just answer me? Is it that hard to say yes or no?" her voice rang around his chambers, echoing off the walls.

"No, I don't regret it! Are you satisfied? Though I still can not give you what you want!" he stood up and looked down at her.

"What is it you think I want? Why are you judging me?"

"I'm not a fool, Miss Wood. I know what it is your heart secretly desires and I cannot give that to you. You must understand this; it cannot be done. We are risking too much all ready." He looked down at her with dark eyes.

She stared back at him firmly for a long moment until her lip trembled again and her eyes filled with tears. "I'm scared," she said finally.

"About what?" he said a bit too harshly.

"I know I'm getting weaker each time and I can't stop it. I… this dream… I don't know what to do," she finally broke her strong hold and let her tears fall. She tried to turn away from him but he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into his arms. He held her there as she cried into him and he felt the pain throb on his chest, burning stronger as she crumbled all over herself.

"I'm scared. I'm so scared. I… don't know what… I hate feeling like this… I can't sleep anymore… I don't… I don't want to die because of a dream," she started sobbing and she clung to him as if her life depended on it.

"You are not going to... we won't let it come to that." He tried to speak reassuringly but he knew she wasn't listening.

"I know it… I can feel it. You can't stop it. Severus I," she took in several short breaths, trying to get air. "I know something has started between us and… I'm not losing it."

"Hush now. You are wearing yourself down." He was ignoring what she was saying.

"Please… I know you know it too. Why can't you admit it?" she was getting hard to understand through her sobs. She was shaking uncontrollably.

"Because I can't," he answered simply, almost bitterly. She didn't speak any more after that but he continued to hold her up as she trembled.

"I think you need to go to bed now. You are exhausted and you need to rest."

"No!" she shrieked. She looked up at him from his arms, her face filled with terror. "I can't sleep. I don't want to be alone. Please don't make me be alone. Please."

"You are getting weak. You _need_ to rest." He tried to be forceful.

She buried her head back into his chest and tried to escape there. "Oh god Severus, please don't make me." She gripped his robes even tighter.

He knew she was terrified and he was being heartless to make her yet he couldn't help the feeling telling him this was wrong. His other half was telling him this was right. He was torn. What was he to do now?

"Come with me," he said smoothly and he steered her away in his arms towards his bedroom. He moved next to his bed and pointed for her to get in. She obeyed him and crawled in as he moved a chair next to the bed and sat down. She rested on her side and watched him looking at her.

They looked at each other for a while as she calmed down and stopped crying. She moved her arm and extended her hand out to the edge of the bed, reaching for him. He hesitated for a moment but took her hand in his and held it. They continued to stare at each other, as she forced herself to stay awake and they spoke to each other silently. She told him her fears through her eyes and he did his best to keep them away. He knew she was dying slowly with every moment but he couldn't tell her that. He just listened to her silent cries for help as he embraced her hand, never wanting to let go.

A/N: Ok so you have seen the changes and this is how I originally planned for this chapter to end but somehow with the first draft I got sidetracked and ended somewhere completely different. I think the first draft was too dramatic for this part of the story so I knew even as I posted it that I was going to be unhappy about it. Well I hope this new version makes more sense. Please try to remember that this chapter is also a transitional chapter. I need to get things moving ahead once more so it is difficult to write and have it make sense. Well hope you enjoyed it. Toodles!


	51. A Wolfs Insticts

**Important! Please read**_: If you haven't noticed I **rewrote** most of **chapter fifty**. So if you are confused as to what and how this chapter is starting then I suggest you go back and **reread** chapter fifty. The last chapter did not turn out the way I wanted it to so I rewrote it and now I am happy with it. It makes more sense now. _

Hello again! I am truly and terribly sorry it's been so long since I updated. I feel horrible but I've been horribly busy. Ok at least I posted seven chapters within eight days before this break and that is a lot! Well I was on a role and whenever I finished one chapter I had to keep going! Ah! Anyway, here is the next installment. I can all ready hear the cheering. Well enjoy and Toodles!

* * *

The morning light shined down on his neck and woke him with brilliant warmth. He looked up and remembered he had continued to watch her sleep for several hours until his own exhaustion caught up with him. He evidently fell asleep on the chair, his head resting on the bed and their hands still entwined together. It was a gloomy sort of scene but it was peaceful all the same.

He sat up and smoothly pulled his hand away from hers, trying not to wake her. His hand moved to his neck, rubbing the kink that formed. He looked at her curiously, his thoughts scattered everywhere about his brain. Then he came across one particular thought and suddenly felt a shooting surge of anger at the idea of her potential fate. It didn't seem right that a person so young was all ready condemned to a horrible fate if an abstraction such as a dream should take control of her mind and body. How was something like this justified?

Then he remembered that many a person was condemned to the same fate when Voldemort was inflicting devastation among the society. It was such a pity that so many innocent people, young and old fell to the hands of a crazed, power-hungry, narcissistic maniac. Then again he was one of his servants for a time and he felt some of the guilt that rested on the wizarding world's shoulders. But how did this relate to her? How did this dream have any connection with Voldemort in his days of power? None that he could think of so in a way her fate seemed more cursed and dark than the ones who were destined to fall at Voldemort's feet.

He sighed quietly at the sight of her soft face, relaxed into the splendor of undisturbed sleep. There was so much he thought he could do to relieve her but the thing she wanted and needed most was the one thing he couldn't give her, the one thing he would never allow anyone to have. Just then, as if on cue she moaned and woke up gradually. She looked around until her eyes fell upon him.

"Have you been sitting there all night?" she asked hoarsely. He nodded slightly. She didn't say anything else but remained looking at him until her eyes stung with dryness. When she finally looked away and up towards the small window on the opposite wall he took the opportunity to stand. It was an awkward silence now and both of them knew it. Neither of them, it seemed, knew what to say.

It was several long minutes of silence while Severus stood by the mantle, staring into the grate as Seda remained on her back, looking up at the ceiling. He pressed his fingers into his temples and tried to clear his head. There were far too many thoughts going around at once. She didn't seem to notice though, for she was just as fazed.

"What day is it?" she asked thoughtfully.

"Thursday," he answered.

It was another moment of silence. The moments seemed to pass by extremely slowly, as if they were lingering behind for some unknown reason. It was quite odd because there were so much both of them wanted to say but neither knew how to say it or dared not to.

"I want to see my parents," she said finally. She was now fiddling her fingers amongst each other.

He merely nodded his head, not sure what to say to that statement. He understood her reasoning for wanting to see them but he had a feeling that she wanted to see them for more than just one reason.

"They haven't been kept in the dark about this. They have been informed daily of your condition." He decided to say at least.

"I still want to see them. I didn't get to leave on a good note."

He didn't reply so she shifted her eyes downward to see him. She saw that he was standing with his back to her, leaning against the mantle.

"Do they know?" She said softly but firmly.

"They know your condition was threatening and we had to take you."

"But," she paused, "_do they know _that I'm…" she didn't finish.

He stiffened slightly, trying not to be noticeable yet he looked around at her slowly. They looked at each other for a long minute until Seda had to look away, grief shining in her eyes and resentment surrounding her.

* * *

There were a few short taps against the dark wood, several quiet footsteps and then a gentle face.

"I've been expecting you," he smiled as his eyes twinkled. "Please come in." He stepped aside and allowed her into his circular office. She sat down in a chair across from his desk and waited for him to initiate the discussion.

Sometime later she came spinning out of the air and landed in the middle of the two-story living room. She put her bag down while she looked around then found her parents sitting at the dinner table in the dining room. They both had their heads in their hands, staring down at their untouched plates of lunch. She walked slowly into the doorway and took a breath.

"Mom. Dad." She said quietly. They both looked up and were shocked for a moment then they realized their daughter was actually standing there before them. Her father stood up immediately and went to her while her mother rose slowly out of her chair but remained where she was, staring blankly.

"Seda… how… what… how are you?" Her father asked nervously, hesitant to touch her.

"I'm all right. How are you both?" She said unconvincingly. She seemed to be shaking slightly, with cold or nerves because there was a quiver in her voice.

"We've been fine, worried about you. Are you sure you are all right? Should you be resting? Do you need to lay down?" Her father seemed as though he had a million questions but didn't know how to ask them all. She could tell he was being hesitant.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just very tired." Seda tried to reassure him but the tiredness was spread across her face in obvious fashion.

"The headmaster told me he has been writing daily… what did he say?" She asked nervously, shifting her eyes in her mother's direction.

There was a short silence until her mother said, "He's been letting us know how you've been doing. He wrote us ever since the minute you arrived in that… _other_ hospital."

There was something strange in her mother's tone but Seda did her best to hide her curiosity. The time was not now to start any opinionated discussions.

Seda kept her eyes on her mother's face as her father looked at his wife cautiously. It was another awkward silence until her father suggested they all sit down and talk. They sat for quite awhile actually, but no one noticed the time going by.

"So… what happened? At the show after I… collapsed. I don't remember anything."

"Well…" her mother took a deep breath, "when it happened it was very silent for a moment and then the audience started to talk amongst them selves anxiously. They closed the curtains immediately and we came running back to see what happened. They called an ambulance when they realized you were unconscious." She ended with another long breath and a sad expression.

"Does anyone know? I mean what about…"

"We talked with Helen the next day and told her you were sent to another hospital. She and the others were very concerned but we explained as best we could." Her mother spoke.

Seda nodded her head and looked down at her hands. There was another silence.

"What happened to my dress?" She said suddenly, as if just remembering.

Her parents looked at each other strangely. Her mother looked out the window as her father looked back at Seda.

"Well, um… we tried to have it mended but… it was too… well…"

Seda gave him a very strange look. She narrowed her eyes at him, demanding he tell her.

"When you were unconscious you started to have an anxiety attack of some kind. It lasted until you finally were too tired to go on. The doctors mentioned that as you went silent something… well your chest… it started to bleed and…"

Her mother looked at him suddenly, cautiously and nervously. Seda looked between them, confused for a moment then realized.

"It started glowing… didn't it?" She asked quietly.

They both looked back at her slowly, looks of shock on their faces.

"How did you know?" Her mother whispered.

"It's happened before." Seda answered plainly. "So the dress was burned wasn't it… there's a hole in it now." She said sadly, still looking them in the eye.

"Yes… it was disintegrating faster than they could remove it. We put it in your bedroom anyway though, in case you might…" She stopped.

"In case I might what?" She said sternly.

Her mother swallowed hard and stared in surprise.

"We thought there was a chance that… you might… well we weren't sure."

Seda's eyes widened. "You thought I was going to… you thought I was dead?" Her voice was completely shocked.

"We didn't know what was happening to you. We were certain it was the same feeling as the first time."

"What are you talking about? What first time?" Her voice was starting to rise.

Her father put a hand on his wife's arm, calming her down. He looked back at Seda with a very sad shadow in his eyes. When he spoke it was very quiet and hushed.

"I think we can tell you now, Seda."

"Dad? What do you mean?" Her mother closed her eyes and sat back in the chair.

"When we brought you home, after we adopted you, we noticed something very strange. You would cry like all babies do but only after we put you to sleep. You would cry as if you were being tortured and…" he paused and took a deep breath. "You would scream and cry yourself to exhaustion and then this mark would spread across your chest. It was an odd bruise or something and at one point it would start glowing."

Seda's breath seemed to stop in her throat. This could not be true. She couldn't believe it.

"Once it got so bad that we took you to the hospital. We nearly lost you. Finally you stopped having those fits after a few months but it haunted us for so long. It was the most depressing cry I've ever heard." His eyes seemed blank but she could tell he was reliving those moments back in the dark corners of his mind.

There was another silence for a few very long minutes. Everyone, it seemed, was reliving some kind of memory inside his or her head.

They didn't talk any more about that particular phenomenon and went about the rest of the day in a quiet atmosphere. Seda was more quiet than usual and actually excused her self from the dinner table after eating one carrot. She spent the rest of the night locked in her bedroom, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about everything they told her. Something still didn't add up.

Friday morning came and she said her good byes once more. She found her self back in her rooms at Hogwarts, looking around and feeling empty. She made her way down to the Great Hall for lunch and when she walked in there were some very surprised faces.

"Miss Wood… I see you are joining us once more. Feeling better now?"

"I'm fine, thank you Professor McGonagall." She gave a small smile and sat down in her usual seat.

McGonagall looked as though she wanted to ask more questions but kept herself from doing so. She and Poppy continued their discussion about fifteenth century healer practices. Lupin looked down at Seda and watched her pick at her food.

"Did you enjoy your holiday professor?" Seda asked quietly, noticing he was staring at her. She continued picking at her muffin until it was all in pieces and crumbs.

"Ah yes, it was very relaxing. Thank you. The time away and sun was just what I needed. How was your…" he paused, "how was the convention?" He quickly corrected himself. He knew what happened to her over the last week and did not want to bring it up.

She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes then sat straight. She blinked softly and looked back down at her plate where she stabbed at the sausage and rolled it around.

"It was very nice. I didn't see you there however. I suppose there were too many people."

Lupin smiled suddenly. He knew something she did not.

"Yes, there were quite a few people there. I did see you but I never got the chance to make a visit."

"Why not?" She continued playing with the sausage.

"I believe you were a bit occupied." He said softly.

She looked up at him quickly and saw the expression on his face. He was sort of smiling but looking serious at the same time. She searched his eyes for an explanation. It finally dawned on her and her eyes widened slightly.

"Oh, professor, we… I mean I… what did you notice?" She whispered.

"Only that I've never seen Severus lurk around for so long and enjoy his company for once." He smiled smugly.

"We were just talking." She said and looked at him more seriously.

"And very passionately too." He replied quietly.

"What?" She said so loudly that McGonagall and Poppy looked down at her. Seda smiled at them and they returned to their conversation.

She lowered her voice back to a whisper and said, "What are you talking about?"

"I won't say anything if that's what you are worried about." He was still smiling softly.

"But we were just talking." She said trying to convince him nothing else happened, even though something did.

"And there is nothing wrong with that. However it's just very strange behavior on his behalf. I'm sure you've come to notice he's not exactly the social type." He gave her a serious expression then he went back to his food. Seda was gawking at him, not knowing what to say.

"But professor, we were…" she was cut off.

"Yes, yes… I realize that but," he seemed distracted or hesitant. "I swear I will not say a word, but don't pretend I didn't notice. Let me just caution that you could be getting onto dangerous grounds with that particular behavior. _Both_ of you could get yourselves into a heap of trouble." He sounded not judgmental but concerned about this though.

"Particular behavior, sir?" She tried to seem innocent but she was crumbling underneath.

He leaned in close to her and whispered, "You got him to have a drink, Seda, that's always a good thing. Should I also mention you cleverly got your hand to touch his?"

After he sat straight again he said, "I may be old to you but my eyes work as well as they ever have. I am a man too, you know, I notice things."

When he looked at her she appeared horrified. "Oh gods, do you think anyone else saw? What will they think of me?" She sounded disgusted and put her head in her hands.

"I wouldn't worry too much. Majority of the people there would have been too drunk or preoccupied with other things. I doubt anyone will have noticed. Besides, you two were off in a dark corner." He laughed slightly and elbowed her arm.

She looked up slowly and said, "But you said I could get into trouble?"

"Well it's not the talking that people will have the problem with." He said seriously.

"Professor! Nothing else happened!" She whispered roughly. She was lying right through her teeth but she had to defend her dignity.

"I never said anything did." He reassured her. "I only hope you will be on your guard in the future if things were to…" He stopped and Seda looked at him strangely. She couldn't help but think that he knew exactly what happened after she and Severus left the convention.

"Here comes the man of the hour now." He nodded towards the door and returned to his plate of food.

She whispered to him, "This conversation is not over."

He smiled, trying not to laugh. They said nothing more as Snape took his usual seat. He looked at both of them curiously but resumed his task of eating.

It was a few minutes silence before Snape said, "You've returned." There was no emotion what so ever.

Seda felt like she was in a very awkward position. She knew Lupin knew more than he told and she also knew Snape had the feeling she and Lupin were talking about that night, but she also figured Snape didn't know that she knew. She was completely contorted into a mixture of absurd thoughts and she could feel the heat in her face rising more rapidly with every moment she spent next to him.

She wasn't trying to be rude but she couldn't handle the emotions as she sat there, nearly paralyzed by her thoughts. She excused herself from the table and left the hall quickly as possible, never looking back.

When she was gone from view Snape looked at Lupin dangerously, as if it was Lupin's fault for her leave taking. Snape didn't need to use words for his type of communication; his eye's said it all when he wanted them to.

"Did you two have a nice little chat?" He said bitterly as he turned back to his plate.

"It's nothing new, Severus. We've talked before." Lupin replied smugly.

"I'm not in the mood for games, Lupin." His tone was low and irritated.

Neither of them spoke another word during the remainder of their meals.

Seda walked around the room several times, trying to keep her head straight. The last week had been a whirlwind of emotions and feelings; she had been tortured by her heart's cry. In fact the last two weeks had been something of a vivid memory. It was hard at times to remember what happened exactly. So many thoughts mixed in by the uneasy feeling of the unknown. What was she to do? Part of her felt so lost and alone still.

"Seda?" Came the familiar voice, though slightly surprised.

She turned to face him but her face was covered by her thoughts.

He walked closer and said, "I hadn't really expected the conversation to continue so suddenly." He smiled. He looked at her and noticed she wasn't smiling back.

"Is everything all right?" He said concerned.

She finally looked up at him and said, "No."

He led her over to one of the chairs in the classroom and said, "Sit and we'll chat."

She sat down as he leaned against the desk. She felt kind of weird being forced to talk but at least he was friendly.

"Now tell me, what's on your troubled mind?" He began gently.

She looked up at him with those eyes and didn't know where to start. She took a breath and started with, "I'm a bit confused."

"About what?"

"I… nothing happened between us professor." She said stubbornly.

"Ah." He started and nodded his head. He should have known. "Seda, I wasn't trying to accuse you of anything of the sort. I merely expressed concern in that area of your particular interest."

"Interest?" She narrowed her eyes, curiously.

He took a breath and began, "I'm going to be very straight forward here so don't attack me, agreed?" He looked at her more seriously than before and she nodded, though scared.

"I see your fascination for him grow and it's perfectly understandable so there is nothing to be ashamed of. You are a young woman who admires his intelligence, and your captivation is undeniable. Though I feel you don't understand him as well as you think you do. He is a good man, don't get me wrong, but his nature is more than you should be forced to handle. Your emotions tied with him are a burden you don't need."

He finished and she sat stunned for a moment, blushing slightly. It was all too much to take in, especially coming from another teacher.

"His nature? Professor… I," she thought a moment. "I know he was a Death Eater. The one you told me about. I'm not afraid if that's what you are talking about."

He looked surprised for a moment. "Well, obviously that past is something I knew you would come to learn but that's not exactly what I meant."

She looked at him even more confused. "I don't understand then."

He stood from the desk and began walking in front of it slowly. She followed him with her eyes cautiously.

"He is a very solitary man, as I'm sure you've noticed. His past, even before his Death Eater days were that of darkness. He's grown to find his peace and comfort, you could say, in his independence. His private space is his sanctuary and no other can reach him there. Seda, do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Well, yes in a way. I mean, I think so. He lives within him self you mean. He doesn't need anyone else, but why?"

"He was forced to live as a spy for a number of years, his life always on the border line of death if he made one wrong move. Within that time he absorbed completely into his own world, a place where his loneliness was his survival. He had to rid himself of all emotions, all feelings, memories and worries, anything that could stand in his way between life and death. As much as he would want to contain a thread of any emotion tied with another, he couldn't possibly contain it for it could cost his or the other's life. Even now, he doesn't know how to find those emotions within him so that is why he is the way he is. He believes his solitude is his only way of life."

"But… it's over. Voldemort or who ever was destroyed." She said disbelievingly.

"Yes, he is gone, but there are wounds that go too deep for healing, for many of us. It's one of the things you can't understand because you weren't here when it was happening."

"Professor, why do you act as though I… why do you assume that I'm fascinated with him?" She looked at him sternly.

He eyed her for a moment and said finally, "Because… he sees it in you too."

She had no answer. She just stared at him, feeling her face turn very hot.

"That's why I caution you both. Student-Teacher relationships are not the most praised event among the society. However, you are not an underage student. You are more of an apprentice I would say, yet the consequences could still be severe."

"Professor Lupin… nothing will ever happen between me and him. He is not fascinated with me, I can tell you that for sure. He sees me as another student, no one special."

He was shaking his head. "That's where you are young and naïve." He smiled.

"How so?" She said defensively.

"I told you that I am a man and I notice things that you do not. I'm not just your old professor, I am a red-blooded male such as Severus is."

"What are you getting at? You told me all ready he is a solitary creature." She was starting to feel annoyed by his jumping from one perspective to the other.

"What I'm trying to tell you is that I've seen a spark in him that has been absent for a very long time. I only advise you to be careful because he is not the most understood and easiest of men to be in the company of."

"Merlin, Professor! You seem as though I want to marry him or some rubbish like that!" She said getting more annoyed. She was annoyed because he was right about everything, even though she didn't know it.

"No, I never said that and I'm not suggesting you are in a relationship with him either. I was trying to point out that if anything ever went that direction that you both be careful." He was, to her surprise, smiling about all this.

"But nothing _will_ ever happen, that's what _I'm_ talking about." She said more calmly. "I most certainly do not want to be in any lime light of onlookers."

Her brain was on an overload right now because everything that was coming out of her mouth was completely opposite of what she really felt. She couldn't admit it to anyone though, most of all another teacher.

"Seda, I can only offer one more word of advice. Don't deceive yourself." He ended with a small smile and clapped her on the shoulder.

There was only one thought running through her mind. He knows. He knows just about everything she felt towards Snape, even if she denied it.

"I'm sorry to hear about what happened… during your holiday I mean. I assume you are getting along now?"

His change of subject brought her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah, I mean thanks." She shook her head. "I'm feeling much better now actually."

"That's good to hear. I hope you stay well. Don't worry; I'm sure you will conquer it in time. It always takes time. It's a good thing you are back though because now you can add to the number on Sunday. It's his birthday you know so we are having drinks in honor."

"Yes, time. Birthday? Oh, sure, yeah. I didn't know." She was completely distracted. She looked at him slowly. "Thanks for the talk professor. I've got to finish some work so I'll see you later."

"Not a problem. Take care." He waved as she left the classroom.

She walked out into the hall and ran up to her rooms. She dashed inside, grabbed parchment where she scribbled down a message and sent it off with Aura in the next moment. She waited nearly half an hour for a reply and when Aura came back she read over the note furiously. She sprang up from the bed, walked to the fireplace and threw in some floo powder. She said, "Hermione's" and was gone in an instant.

A/N: Well I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter to get up but as I said before I've been insanely busy and I neglected my writing for a while. Actually, I started this chapter right after I finished _rewriting_ chapter fifty but I had a huge case of writers block at the time also, so that doesn't help. And yes, I rewrote chapter fifty after the first one for those of you who don't know. So if you are confused about why things happened the way they did in the beginning of this chapter then I suggest you go back and read chapter fifty if you haven't all ready. Just so you know what the heck is going on. And please forgive me for the horrible grammar and spelling mistakes in this chapter. I was in rather a hurry. Toodles!


	52. Breathe Into Me

Ok, so the last chapter finally made it up after a slight delay as a result of major writer's block! Sorry again about that but there was not much I could do. Anyway, here is the next chapter. Enjoy and Toodles!

Forgive me for the Romance-buff in me that I let out in this chapter.

* * *

"Good Heavens, is everything all right?" Hermione said as she came to greet Seda out of the fireplace.

"No, well yes, I mean I don't know." She said as she brushed the ash from her clothes. "I mean I feel all right but I have so much…"

At that moment something small hit her leg and latched on to it like a vice. She looked down and saw Madison hugging her leg. She patted her head before Hermione removed her. "Hi munchkin," she smiled.

"You were saying?" Hermione was eager to hear what was going on. She hadn't heard much about what happened.

"Well I suppose you heard, didn't you?" She said nervously.

"Professor Snape informed me, yes, but with hardly any detail I might add." She gave an annoyed sort of expression and rolled her eyes.

"Typical of him. How are you? I mean, what happened exactly? The last I heard you were transported from St. Mungo's to the Infirmary and you were not to be disturbed. I wrote a letter to Dumbledore nearly every day, asking that he explain, but he said he couldn't and I had to wait for you to tell me yourself. So I've been a mess really." She took a long breath.

"Ron thought I was losing my marbles for certain this time because I was nagging him about every little thing, so he says. I was only worried though. I thought about sneaking in to see you but then I didn't want to get you into any trouble so…"

"Hermione, woah. It's ok. Calm down, I'm fine." She held up her hands in surrender. Hermione had barely taken a breath as she ranted on and on.

"Sorry." she said sheepishly. "Please, come sit down. Drink?" She walked into the kitchen after Seda sat down. Hermione released Madison from her arms and the tiny toddler went scrambling into Seda's lap.

"Er, water or tea is fine." The two, Seda and the toddler, stared at each other strangely for some time before Madison touched Seda's heart with her little hand. It was sort of bizarre because it was almost as though the child could read her emotions. It was very strange indeed but Seda tried not to think much into it.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on or do I have to put Veritaserum in your drink?" Hermione said from behind the counter.

"Well, where do you want me to start?" She said, not really knowing how to start from anywhere.

"Uh, you could start with the night you passed out or whichever." She said sarcastically.

"Right." She half smiled as Hermione handed her a cup of tea.

Seda began to explain the night as best she could. She told her everything up to the point where she and Lupin were talking that afternoon.

Hermione's facial expressions had changed quite a bit through out the telling. It went from concern to shock to fright to annoyance and back to concern.

"Oh, I knew it was a bad idea to stop the sessions." Hermione said frustrated, thinking amongst her self.

"You know the strange part of it is, I still don't think my parents told me everything. I just feel like they hesitated to tell me anything further." Hermione nodded absent-mindedly.

"I mean, they told me so much all ready so maybe I'm just in shock. I don't know. I don't know what to think anymore." She sighed.

"Well, what they did tell you is enough information to go on with however. Did you tell Snape this?"

"No. Well I was going to but then I got distracted." She said softly.

"Distracted? How do you mean?"

"Well I sort of got trapped into having a little chat with Lupin."

"About what?"

"_Who_ do you think?" She said, raising an eyebrow.

Hermione's eyes widened a bit. "You mean… oh dear. What did he say?"

"Well he only cautioned me to be careful with my particular interest in Snape. He swore he would say nothing to anyone but he didn't think it was best for me to get involved with, well you know." She shrugged.

"I know Lupin would never go back on his word. He is the nicest and truest of men, but he is right in a way though. You have to be careful. You could get into loads of trouble by the Ministry if they ever found out."

"Hermione. Just what exactly do you think is going on here? There is nothing going on between Snape and me what so ever. I swear we are not even close to being attached."

"I know that." She said annoyed at being misunderstood. "I mean the same thing Lupin was trying to tell you. You have to be careful because let's face it, you and Snape have all ready… well you've established _a bond _I suppose would be appropriate to say. Now Lupin may not know exactly how close you and Snape have gotten but…"

"But I think he _has_ Hermione. I think he knows." She looked a bit worried.

"I know him and you can trust me. He will not say anything. He only has your best interest at heart, as well as Snape's I imagine. I know he wouldn't want to see either of you punished for something so small. Even if it's not entirely wrong, the Ministry still has their regulations and policies."

Seda stood up and began pacing back and forth. She was almost talking to no one.

"So what am I supposed to do here? Everyone assumes that I am in love with Snape and that I want some forbidden relationship with him, which happens to be against the rules but it's acceptable at the same time. How on earth does that make sense? I am really confused here because I feel one thing while everyone else believes another!"

She continued pacing and Hermione looked down at the floor.

"Well… what is it that you feel?"

"What?" Seda snapped but continued pacing.

"Why don't you try being honest with your self first and then worry about everyone else."

Seda stared at her blankly for a moment as she stopped in her tracks. A memory suddenly burst into her head with out her knowing it. She was lost in thought again until Hermione's voice brought her back. Seda began to realize something she hadn't before. She gasped softly and brought her hand to her mouth.

"Seda? What is it?" Hermione said worried, again.

"Oh my… oh no. That's why he acted so… oh my god." She whispered in a panic.

"What? What's wrong?" Hermione demanded, getting confused.

"Hermione… I think… but I'm not sure if it was a dream or not… but it felt so…"

She started pacing again, this time putting her hands on her head.

"Seda, if you don't tell me what's wrong this instant I'm going to hex you."

"All right, all right." She stopped pacing at rested her head against the mantle. "Hermione… I think I told him… that I love him." Her voice was weak now.

"What?" Hermione whispered in disbelief. "What do you mean you think?"

"I didn't tell you. At the convention I went with him up on to the balcony and we talked for a while. Well, something happened and we ended up back in his rooms not long after."

She heard Hermione gasp and give a small cough but she went on.

"Anyway the point is… I think as I was falling asleep I said it. The thing is I don't know if I was dreaming or if I actually said it and he heard me. Now I don't know what to do."

It was silent for a moment and the only sound was that of the clock ticking away.

"Oh my god. I am such an idiot!" She banged her fists onto the mantle. "That's why he acted so strange that night I came back!"

It was another silence where only the clock was heard. Finally Hermione spoke.

"Seda… come here for a minute. Sit down." She spoke softly, almost too calmly.

Seda turned around and sat across from Hermione on the couch. Hermione, who was sitting on the coffee table, sighed and placed a hand on Seda's knee.

"Look at me." Seda looked up slowly, mortified. "Do you love him?"

She spoke just as calmly, not sounding mad or upset. Seda was getting flustered however.

"I don't even know if I said it or if he even heard me…"

Hermione shook her head and said, "That doesn't matter. Do you _lov_e him?"

Seda felt her breath stop in her throat. Every second ticking by was a painful hit of reality.

"I don't… know." She began shaking her head slowly. "I don't know. I don't know!"

Hermione kept a firm grip on Seda's knee. "Seda, listen to me. If you love him then there's nothing you can do about it. And if you do then you probably did say it. If he heard you say it then… well I'm not sure what his reaction would be."

"Oh gods, Hermione. How can I love him? How _could_ I? I mean I barely know him. I've known him for what? Seven months? That's not possible!" She stood up and began pacing again.

"If you do love him then it's as I said, there's nothing you can do about it except be careful." She reassured her. "I'm not sure exactly how it happened because I'm not either one of you but it's not the most horrible thing in the world you know. It's not as though he is revolting or insane. It could be worse."

Seda stopped and gave her a funny face. "Like what?"

"He could be a troll or something." She shrugged.

Seda walked back to the couch and sank onto it. "Hermione you can't act like this isn't a big deal. How can you sit there and say I'm in love with Snape? That's completely ridiculous." She was borderline psychotic at that moment.

"No, it's not ridiculous. If it was meant to be then it was meant to be." At least she was being sensible, unlike Seda who was in shock.

"It's _not_ meant to be. I mean, seriously, he's nearly twice my age. That's not right."

"You didn't have a problem with it before!" Hermione finally snapped.

"That was different." She said, a bit calmer now that she didn't have anything to say to that remark which happened to be true.

"How is that different? Seda, you are being completely irrational here. You are making this a bigger deal than it is."

"But it _is_ a big deal." She took a deep breath. "What am I to do? Wander around school now, gazing at him lovingly because I'm apparently madly in love with him?"

"No. You shouldn't act as though _anything_ is different. The last thing you want to do is get all weird when you are around him, then he'll know something is wrong."

"I think he _always_ thinks something is wrong with me." She said sarcastically.

"You know what I mean."

"This is too much to deal with at the moment, I'm sorry. I just can't, I won't believe it. It was a mistake. I was out of it anyway, caught up in the moment or something." She waved her hands around like she was swatting a fly.

Hermione reached out and grabbed her hands. "Seda, listen to me, all right? I know the past week has been a lot for you to handle but you can't deny feelings that are dancing right in front of your face. This _is_ happening and you have to figure out how to deal with it now. It's going to be difficult but the most rewarding thing is the emotions you feel when you are with him."

"But that's it. When I _am_ with him we usually want to curse each other."

"Well, not all the time." Hermione grinned.

"Not that! You know what I'm talking about Hermione." She couldn't help but grin her self.

"You see? You're smiling about it!"

"So. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Because you are thinking about him right now and you won't be able to stop." Hermione laughed finally and Seda stared at her, confused about what she should be feeling.

It was a few minutes before Seda finally said, "Ok seriously now. What am I supposed to do? Tell him again?" She gave a horrified look.

"No, no, no. That's one thing you must not do or you are going to scare him off. Just act as you always have. Be yourself. And by all means, don't get caught or you will both be in so much trouble."

"Ok, but I'm telling you, nothing is going to happen. I think it was just a one time thing."

"That seems to have happened three times all ready." She joked slyly.

"Um, four actually." She said, looking away.

Hermione's eyes popped out of her head. "Well, how very interesting." She smiled.

"I don't think he sees me the same way anyway. So I need to get over him now and fast." She was being stubborn again. She was obviously denying everything, contradicting everything she was angry with Snape at before.

"Now hold on a minute. Snape may seem like a cold bastard at times but he does have feelings, Seda. And I've known him longer than you and believe me; he wouldn't have gone through with it if there were nothing there. Now stop worrying so much and let nature take its course. You worry too much, you know that?"

"Ha! A bit contradicting now aren't we miss worry wart?" She finally laughed.

"Ok, so we are even, but if I'm not worried then you shouldn't be, all right?"

She nodded. They looked at each other for a moment and Seda sighed.

"Hermione… do you really think… do you really think its love? That's such a big statement?"

"I can only give you advice. I really am not sure but it seems so. You'll just have to let time tell." Seda nodded again and seemed lost in thought.

"Well, I think we need to pay a visit to Snape as soon as possible."

"What? Why?" Seda perked up.

"Because you need to tell him what your parents told you. I really think we need to go through with the sessions so we can figure this out once and for all. There is more research to be done here. We still don't know enough yet."

"Oh… I don't know if we should. We stopped it last time because…"

"Because we were all scared how it was effecting you. If we learn more about it maybe we can go at it differently. Seda, don't you want this to end for good? Look what it's done to you. You can't live your life going on like this, it's not healthy."

"I know, I know. It's just that… I'm still scared."

"I understand but…"

"No, Hermione, you don't _understand_." She looked at her seriously. "He didn't tell you, did he?"

Hermione tried to remain calm, though she was confused all over again. She shook her head and said, "Tell me what?"

"That I'm dying." It came out almost unnaturally calm, as though she has accepted it all ready. It almost seemed like a badly written joke.

"But it can be stopped. We just have to… why are you shaking your head? Seda, this isn't fatal, we can fix it."

"It can be stopped, yes, but every time…" she took a breath. "Every time I have that dream I lose more and more of myself. Either way, it's killing me."

Hermione's jaw was open in disbelief. "So you are just giving up? That's it? You are just going to let your self die?" She was angry.

"I don't want to give up Hermione! But either way I'm stuck. Don't you see? It's been this way all along. We just never realized it. We abandon the sessions and the potions and let the dreams take over. It's killing me. I continue the sessions with the potions and the dreams intensify, it's killing me still. I'm trapped either way! I don't want to give up either but…"

"That can't be right. There's always a way, Seda, and we are going to find it. Don't you give up on this that easily? Do you understand me? I am not giving up. None of us are giving up!"

"But you still don't understand, he all ready has." She said sadly, feeling her heart throb. "That's why I said he couldn't possibly feel the same way towards me, he's given up Hermione. That's why I can't fall in love with him. It's never going to work."

"No!" She yelled and this made Seda and Madison both jump in their seats. "It's not true. He did not give up on you. I know he hasn't. He wouldn't do that! How can you be so calm about this Seda?"

"Because I've all ready accepted it, Hermione. In a way I've known it for a long time."

"No. No! I refuse to believe it." She got up from the coffee table and picked up Madison. She walked over to the fireplace and grabbed a handful of floo powder.

"Where are you going?" Seda said as she also stood up. Hermione was crackling with an intensity she had never seen. "Hermione? What are you doing?"

"I refuse to believe it." She said as she stepped into the grate. "Severus Snape's Office, Hogwarts." She yelled and in a flash she was gone, Madison and all.

Seda panicked and ran over to the fireplace, where she also grabbed a handful of floo powder. She threw it in quickly and stepped inside. She repeated the same as Hermione and vanished.

She had barely gotten out of the fireplace when she heard Hermione yelling at someone not too far away. She came rolling out of the grate and when the ash cleared she could see Hermione, red in the face and backing Snape into a wall of his office, pointing her wand into his chest. Seda looked around and saw Madison sitting on the couch, looking at some objects on the wall behind her, obviously not interested in what her mother was doing. Seda walked around Snape's desk and moved in closer to the pair near the wall.

"How dare you, Snape, how dare you! How could you just give up? If I had known… if I had…"

"Now hold your tongue! I never did anything of the sort. Back off me at once or I will take force, even if it's in the presence of your child!"

Snape was just as furious with her as she was with him. Instead of him being red and purple in the face like Hermione, he was white with rage.

"I will not bloody hold my tongue. You are not going to just simply give up! Not when…"

"Hermione!" Seda broke in suddenly. Snape looked over at her with rage in his eyes, furious about this sudden flare-up. "Hermione, please stop!"

She walked over to her and tried to pull her away but Hermione would not have it.

"No, Seda, he's going to hear every last bit of what I've got to say." She was practically snarling and it was downright scary.

"I suggest for your own safety that you back off immediately. You don't have the right to burst in here and order me around." He snarled back.

"Go ahead and curse me, Snape. I don't care. If it's going to make you feel better about what you've done then so be it. In fact, why don't you go ahead and curse Seda too. Just put her out of her misery."

"What are you talking about?" He spat.

"Hermione, please!" Seda yelled once more. "Please, enough!" She was getting desperate. "Please Hermione, just calm down for a moment." She was panting actually.

Snape looked from Hermione to Seda and back to Hermione who still had her wand pointed in Snape's chest.

"Yes, do calm down and properly explain to me what all this nonsense is about." He said aggressively.

Hermione stared him right in the eye for a moment before she turned from him dramatically and planted herself in a chair.

"Oh, nonsense is it? I'll give you nonsense." She grumbled as she stuck her wand inside her robes.

Snape remained by the wall for a moment, eyeing Seda cautiously as if she was going to attack too. He finally walked around to his side of the desk and remained standing.

"Now tell me what your sudden rage was all about or I shall have to commit you for insanity sometime this evening." He was trying with all his might not to yell at her, Seda could tell. The vain on his forehead was pulsing with anger.

"Don't be smart with me Snape, not when you are on a fine line here." Hermione snapped back. Seda had never seen her act so unreasonable and over raged. It was so unlike her. It was almost as if she was possessed.

Snape's eyebrows shot up to an incredible high. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. She was actually very lucky she wasn't dead right then.

"You are on a fine line yourself, miss know-it-all." He hissed. "If you are not going to be civil then I suggest you collect yourself and get out of my office this instant before I force you out myself." He hissed again.

Seda was still trying to catch her breath and she couldn't help but look from Snape to Hermione, watching for signs of a duel outbreak.

"Professor," she spoke up, "we wanted to talk to you about new information."

Snape's eyes snapped towards her, glaring at her with a very dangerous expression.

She was put in a very awkward situation at that moment. She was trying to control Hermione from saying anything too much and she was trying to hold in her emotions about Snape at the same time. Yet she was forced to be the interpreter.

"What new information?" He snapped.

"Something my parents told me." She said a bit hesitatingly.

"Is that what your were on about?" He said unbelievably annoyed, looking back at Hermione.

"No, it wasn't actually. It was something else." She retorted.

"The you better have a damn good explanation for yourself."

Hermione was just about to open her mouth when Seda cut her off.

"I told her." She said quickly. Snape looked back at her just as quickly.

"Told her what?" He had several thoughts just then.

"That's she's dying, apparently. Thanks for leaving that bit of information out Snape." Hermione shot back.

Snape looked between the two, almost at a loss for words. His brain was on an overload, just as Seda's was earlier. In a way he almost seemed relieved about something because he gave a horrible, twisted and menacing smirk.

"And I suppose you think you are going to come in and save the day are you, with your bloody annoying, over reacting Gryffindor mind?" He looked at Hermione evilly almost.

Hermione's chest was puffing up for another go at him when Seda cut her off again.

"Professor, my parents told me that the same mark showed up when I was a baby." She said it all in one breath, quickly to keep Hermione from interrupting.

Snape looked back at her, again, slowly this time. His face was unreadable for a moment, where he just stared at her blankly. He finally took a breath and leaned back in his chair.

"It seems they finally gave in and told you. This isn't news to me however, Miss Wood."

Both Hermione and Seda looked at Snape curiously. The questions on their faces were perfectly readable and Snape answered before they even had a chance to think.

"I learned of this when you were in St. Mungo's, Miss Wood. Dumbledore gave me this information after he, himself, had a discussion with your parents the night I transported you. I was, in fact, going to inform you today that it would be best for us to continue the sessions, in secret, and put new research to use."

He let it sink in for a moment before he turned his malevolent smirk back on Hermione.

"And so be it, I did not give in to failure and I'm not that susceptible to cowardice as you so thought." He raised an eyebrow at her, challenging her to another word duel.

Both women were at a loss for words now. Neither had any idea what so ever. Seda was stunned beyond belief and actually sank into a chair, while Hermione was embarrassed.

"I didn't know. I… I'm not sure what to say." Hermione said, nearly in another state of mind.

"If you would have let me explain you could have saved your energy before you got all fired up over nothing. Patience is a virtue." He smirked again, though less menacing. How he loved it when he was right about something, always a step ahead of everyone else. It was what he lived for.

After they went over plans for reinitiating the sessions, Hermione finally apologized for her irrationalness. She copied down a list of dates and other things, collected Madison then left rather quickly. No doubt she was going to start researching all over again.

Seda was left to be in the company of Snape, which she was quite nervous because his mood was still undetectable. She sat in the chair across from him and looked at him.

"I'm sorry she over reacted. I didn't know she would get so upset." She spoke quietly.

"I suppose it was only instinct. She carries a weight of concern for you." He said this unenthusiastically.

It was silent for a moment as she tried to think of something else to say.

"Why didn't you tell me before? Why did you let me find out the hard way?"

"It was their right to tell you first off, and I had wanted to conclude a few questions myself before I burdened you with anything else."

Something about the way he talked then, though typical, his emotions seemed to be genuine. She didn't know what to make of it actually. Maybe she just never noticed it in him before, she wasn't sure.

She stood up and started walking around the room, absent-mindedly again. He watched her as she moved around, lost in his own thoughts.

She paused when she came to a bookshelf. She let her fingers run along the spines of several books, which almost seemed to quiver beneath her touch. She leaned her head onto a shelf and took a breath.

"Do you really think it's going to work this time?" She sounded skeptical about it.

He continued to watch her as he remained sitting in his chair. He knew she was more nervous than before but she was hiding it well.

"I believe we are better prepared, but if it's going to work I can not say for sure."

She sighed, knowing he wasn't going to say what she wanted to hear.

"How much more extreme is it going to be? Is it going to kill me faster now?"

Her tone was bitter and resentful. She felt a shiver run along her spine, as if his presence was intensified. She turned around and he was standing directly in front of her. Her heart skipped a beat momentarily because it was as if she could sense him there even though they never touched or spoke.

"That I honestly do not know." He spoke so quietly it gave her chills.

She looked up at him nervously, feeling her breath stop in her throat again.

"I'm scared." She admitted, though she didn't need to say it.

"That I knew." He said in a whisper so soft it sent more chills over her body.

"And if the worst happens?" She went on. As she spoke she cleverly moved her hand forward so that it brushed against his. He made a slight movement, as if he was surprised almost. He finally coiled his fingers around hers like a snake.

"It won't…" He reassured her. The warmth of her hands in his was indescribable.

"But if it does?" She continued, wanting to know the worst though not really wanting to hear it. Before she could think another thought everything was wiped clear from her mind. There was nothing but black and the small sparks of heat that rose along her body. She lost her self in the taste of his mouth, sweeping her away from the earth and up into the galaxies, miles away from her troubles.

He leaned into her further, pressing her up against the bookshelf with every plunge he took into her mouth. Though he let his tongue dance around the inside of her mouth rhythmically it was still delicate and sensual, which was what she needed then. She couldn't think of anything else she'd rather have, but his hands around her and his mouth giving her the breath of life. He was a cold-hearted snake at times it seemed, but he did know how to make up for it and he made up for it well.

They continued in a mindless kiss for several minutes until they managed to move towards the leather sofa. She leaned into him, which made him go backwards but she got him to land in place and she began to crawl on top of him. She immediately worked at the buttons on his frock coat and he made no movement to stop her. She continued until they were completely undone and she pushed the material off his shoulders, revealing his white dress shirt.

She hastily undid that one as well and removed it from his body just as quickly as she removed her own. Within minutes they were both completely garmentless and charmed. She moved her lips back onto his and breathed into his mouth slowly, taking in the moment. She took a minute before she situated herself on top of him, then slowly she lowered herself into position. Before she made any movement she let him conform to the inside of her, melting around him like a glove.

She moved her mouth to his ear and whispered, "consider this an early Birthday gift." Then she bit his ear gently and moved her mouth back over his, kissing him passionately and then smiling sweetly into him. She heard him moan so softly it was hardly heard but she soaked it in like music and began moving in sync to both their beating hearts.

They never spoke a word, even as they were brought over the edge twice. They used their eyes as their voice. The bond was so strong then that it seemed they never blinked, for every blink meant a moment that passed in which they didn't have the other. And then they needed each other, as much as they needed air. To each other they were the air that kept them breathing and the times when their breath was stolen the other knew when to supply it. A soft kiss was more of a passing of one another's soul into the other and it was then that she knew she had fallen completely into him, even though he didn't know it.

She heard her self say it over and over inside her head and she wanted to say it aloud so desperately but she didn't. She couldn't. She prayed that somehow he could read her mind just then, hearing her confess her truest secret. He looked at her blankly for a moment and she was scared. Before she could let it take over he took her in the most breath taking kiss she could imagine and she had no more thoughts after that. Their breaths became like one heartbeat and for every breath that was stolen, their hearts skipped a beat.

She fell asleep on top of him after they layed there for who knows how long. Deep within her mind she felt safe. No worry could reach her wherever she was, though she had the feeling that part of her was locked somewhere within him. He was keeping her safe, keeping their souls locked away as one heart beat, one heartbeat that never skipped… for now any way.

A/N: Ah ok! I couldn't help but let the romance fool locked within me escape just one more time. I can't help it; I'm a hopeless romantic even though I hate those sort of mushy gushy stories! Ah, but everyone has their weaknesses. In a way though, there is something very sad about the ending of this chapter, for reasons I cannot fully explain. At one point I actually found myself tearing up as I wrote one of the last paragraphs. I suppose that was simply because I can actually feel the emotion radiating between them and it's so beautiful in a way it makes me cry. Ok, am I girly girl or what? HA! Sorry, but this did turn out the way I wanted it to so I am very happy. Yet don't go thinking everything is perfect now between them. Until next time… Toodles!


	53. A Forbidden Walk in the Snow

So, as you all know, I let some of the pent up romantics slip out at the end of the last chapter. In a way I really did not want to have them go that direction, considering what had just happened. Though as I was writing it just felt right, like they deserved it. So, alas, with many bloody battles within my mind I let it take over. However it was not as extreme as it could have been. I left a bit of the uneasy feeling in there as well, which sort of makes it feel sad and not too happy. And that is what I wanted so it all turned out in the end. Well we are not really at the end, but you know what I mean. Ok here's the next one. Toodles!

* * *

"Let the sunlight dance across my face… while the moon shines through your eyes. Watch over me from where you are… as I sleep forever more."

"Seda… Seda… Seda…"

The sound of that beautiful unearthly voice was playing in a harmonious tune through out her head again. It was calling her and it was seductive in a way.

She wanted to remain in the comfort of her sleep but something was drawing her away. It was like a delicate hand among her skin, leading her into a new realm of relaxation. What ever that was she didn't want it to stop.

* * *

He let his fingers brush against her skin, running along the softness of her back. The fiery heat of her body burned beneath his cool touch, though it remained delicate like velvet, urging him to touch more.

He took each breath as if it was his last, teasing himself that it would be forever gone. Only to surprise him self that another breath would find him and lift him off the rocky bottom pits that sunk in his stomach.

As he listened to the silence in the room he realized it was almost too quiet in a way it didn't seem real. Yet he could hear her breathing and even though it seemed the world turned over, everything still seemed right about it.

Now he was stuck. She innocently found part of him inside her and held onto it like a cherished gift. She found that part of him when she looked so far into his eyes he thought she would never find her way out.

However it was in that moment when he, for the first time, wanted to abandon everything he worked so hard to keep hidden and come into the light that she shined down upon him. Though he still could not allow himself to step out of the shadows and let it guide him. He was buried too far in his solitude to feel safe with out it.

"How long was I out?" Her voice came soft and sweet in his ear.

"I lost track." He admitted truthfully.

She nuzzled her face into his neck and took a long, deep breath. As she exhaled it sent chills over his body. It was a wonderful sensation he realized. He moved one hand to her shoulder and let it slide down to her fingers. His hand was rough and yet so smooth like sand, and her skin was like silk. The combination was brilliant.

She entwined her fingers in his and delved in to the safe feeling. The next moment she began kissing his neck, slowly working up towards his ear. She started sucking on his skin and took a few small bites that made him growl so low she barely heard it. She couldn't help but laugh slightly and she continued with her work. He let a few more growls escape from the pits of his chest before she concluded her biting and sucking and looked him in the face.

They looked at each other for a moment; they didn't say anything, just simply looked at the other. A small smile spread across her face but he was emotionless as usual. She couldn't help but hear the words in her head again, fighting so hard to escape from her lips but she only continued to smile at him. Finally the urges became so strong she had to closer her eyes and take a breath. That breath seemed to come to her in slow motion because she needed it as if she was suffocating.

When she opened her eyes she looked at him again though this time she wasn't smiling. She lowered her face so they were nose to nose and she brushed herself against him, taking in his scent as if she were going to forget it. She raised her head once more and brought her free hand to his face. She traced the outline of his eyes with her fingers, letting them move across his cheek and finally over his lips feather soft.

She kept her fingers over his mouth, almost as if she was keeping him from speaking. The words were running about her head again and this time they were screaming to get out. They were on the tip of her tongue yet there was another force inside her begging her not to say it. It took all her might not to and it pained her heart even more to see him looking up at her, not knowing what was going through her mind.

She finally had to swallow, feeling the build up of pressure forming a lump in her throat and throbbing behind her eyes. Her heartbeat seemed to get louder and still he looked at her more deeply. Something smooth ran over the skin on her face, tickling her nose on its way down where it finally stopped on her lips. She opened her mouth slightly.

She began to whisper, "I…" when the force inside her head begged her again not to say it.

Finally he stole her mouth and the force was gone, keeping her from saying what she wanted to. She could taste the saltiness from that one teardrop and blended to the sweetness of his lips she was lost in a pleasure she had never known. Within that moment she felt blissful as she ever did to be in his presence but she felt miserable then too. Almost as if she missed a miracle that only came once in her life.

She pulled away from his mouth and looked at him deeply. She was panting. The way he looked at her it was as if he knew everything she wanted to say. She lowered her mouth back to his and latched on like her life depended on it. She finally pulled away once more and tried to speak, but she was breathless.

"Severus, I…"

He broke in and said, "Don't" almost desperately.

Her breath stopped in her throat and she was unable to think. She could barely mumble a word.

"But… I," she started again.

He closed his eyes as tightly as he could, imagining he were anywhere but there. Listening to her trying to give all of herself to him was more than he could stand.

"For Merlin's sake… don't say it." He whispered harshly, hurting everywhere.

When he opened his eyes she had the most completely empty expression on her face. It was almost impossible to look at her but he couldn't look away. The moment seemed like it was in slow motion, even his heart seemed to slow down unnaturally so.

She closed her eyes and dropped her face into his chest. She tried to breathe with the pain searing through her heart and it was nearly impossible. She took deep breaths, trying to calm herself before she attempted to move or speak again.

She didn't know what to think then. She was torn between her feelings of sadness and anger. She was more frustrated than anything. She hated herself just then and she wanted to run away and hide. She was a fool and amateurishly in love. Her thoughts were brought to a halt when she felt his hands on her face.

"Look at me," he said firmly yet so softly. Only his voice could do that.

With all her strength she forced herself to look up at him and her eyes stung badly. He held her face in his hands for a moment while he studied her. After another moment he finally spoke just as soft.

"You _must _understand… it can not be." It seemed like the words were being forced out of his mouth.

She took a quivering breath and answered, "I… know."

They held each other's gaze for a long time until she dropped her head back to his face and kissed his temples.

"I know," she whispered as she let her lips linger on his skin.

She pressed her self into him more, still trying to retain as much body contact as possible even though she wanted to flee. As she continued to seal her lips around his eyes he kissed her neck, almost able to feel her pulse through his mouth.

There was a tingle coming from her chest and it was growing stronger with each second. The heat radiating around it was burning into her, getting hotter and more uncomfortable. It finally erupted into a wave of heat and they both pulled away simultaneously.

She immediately looked down at her chest but there was nothing there. She looked over at him and her eyes moved from his face to his chest. There, faint and red, was a slash across his chest growing darker. She gasped and he looked up at her, a mixture of pain and shock spread over his face.

"What… what is that?" she said in horror. "Did I… do that?" She was barely able to speak.

He took a few deep breaths, vibrating as he did. "No," he said simply.

"How… what?" She was speechless.

He closed his eyes and tried to speak. "This mark has shown itself before." He managed to say through gritted teeth.

"Why?" She pleaded.

"I'm not certain." He said difficultly.

She couldn't think of anything else to say so she could only stare. He was trying to breathe steadily but it was getting hard for him. She understood the pain he felt even though she didn't realize she could. She pressed her hand over the mark and held it there, letting him feel the touch of her skin so he could forget that pain.

It was several long minutes when finally the mark upon his chest stopped burning. His breaths slowed down to normal pace and he swallowed a few times to suck in more air. They layed in silence for quite awhile before she managed to find her voice.

"When did this happen before?" She asked quietly. "You mentioned this but you never told me exactly."

"It started the same night that you… nearly died."

"How?" This was much too curious for her not to know.

He took a moment to think. "I suspect your emotions were particularly strong that night, which is what led to this. Somehow I knew your life was at risk."

She stared at him blankly for a minute when suddenly a stampede of thoughts came to her. She looked at him more closely and dropped her voice to a whisper.

"You don't think this is some… connection do you? I mean like a spell?"

"I don't see how it's possible. I can't explain it."

"Then what is it? Are you certain this isn't an old wound or anything like that?"

"It's not. I told you I don't know what it is."

They both panted as they looked at each other. Finally she nodded and gave up. She remained laying on top of him, pressing their bodies as close as possible, hoping it would squeeze out any more worries and unknown thoughts.

She breathed into him again, trying to make sense of everything that happened. Her emotions had run around like they were attacked with high voltage shock and every thought that came to her made no sense what so ever. The past week had been a complete haze, nothing more. The only thing she could think to herself now was how badly she wanted to lay there forever.

"What?" he asked softly.

"What?" she said back, confused.

"What did you just say?" He said, nearly as confused.

"I didn't say anything." She looked up at him.

"Yes you did. It was hardly a whisper." He eyed her closely.

"Severus, I didn't say anything." She looked at him strangely. "I swear I was thinking, but nothing else. I think you are hearing things." Things were getting weird.

A very troubled expression came over his face. "Are you certain?" He demanded.

"Yes." She said slowly. "I was only thinking how… I wanted to lay here…"

"Forever…" he whispered before she could finish.

Her eyes widened. "How did you know that?"

"I heard you say it." He said as if it was obvious.

"But I didn't." Her face was covered in amusement. Something was dawning on her. "You're a Legilimens aren't you?" She said in wonder.

"It only works that way with eye contact." He said too comfortably.

"So you _can_ read my mind." She said softly.

"It's not mind reading. Legilimency is the ability to extract emotions and to know if one is being falsehood or not. It's not as simple as reading minds." He said annoyed.

"But then how did you hear what I thought?" She said, picking a challenge.

"I don't know." He said honestly.

She stared at him for a good moment or two before she said, "You're weird."

"Pardon?" He said confused.

She sat up so she was straddling across his waist and said, "You just admitted you have that ability but you still deny it. You are just odd." She looked quite serious.

"Forgive me for not indulging in some of your own oddities." He said, raising an eyebrow.

Her jaw dropped slightly. "Like what?"

"I feel no need to explain if you cannot see them yourself." He looked just as serious.

Her eyebrows both shot up and she stared at him in bewilderment.

"Then I suppose if I am that odd then you won't mind…" she looked menacing.

"I won't mind what?" He said dangerously.

She leaned over so she could whisper in his ear and said, "this."

He was unsure what she meant for a second but all to soon she had grabbed his hand and steered it towards the inside of her thigh. She led his hand up until it came to touch her most sensitive area and she practically purred into his ear. He understood then that all her oddities were not so bad after all. He took control of his own actions and made sure she would not forget it.

As horrible and disheartening as their emotions had been previous, they found that by just being with the other and not speaking was the only way they could not think about it. She knew how strongly she felt about him. He knew how she felt about him. They both knew it should not be so they were both trying to ignore it. Finding pleasure was their only way, for the time being. They simply put everything aside and let their senses come into play now. It was the only way it could work.

"Severus… Severus…" she moaned into his ear.

Her oddity had turned into another round of intimacy. In a way they both knew they shouldn't be doing it but passions were too strong not to become a desirable activity.

He couldn't believe he was within her, pumping into her with more force than he ever had, especially after what just happened. He put it aside and took her with everything he had, never wanting to lose that feeling when they were connected in such a way.

"Severus," she cried into his neck. She had to suck the skin on his neck to keep her self from screaming, using her teeth and biting him with passion. She didn't know that the harder she bit him the harder he was going to enter her.

He finally pumped into her with one last jolt of energy and she released her cries of pleasure. The feeling was incredible as he remained inside her and she milked him for every last drop. They were both exhausted now and layed there trying to catch their breath. They looked at each other just as deeply as before but she tried even harder to not let those words come in her way of enjoying that moment. It was simply being with him.

They rested silently again for a while. This time, however, they didn't say anything to make their emotions run high. She finally explained she was hungry and that she would see him at dinner. She dressed and made to leave almost too quickly it seemed. Before she walked out the door she turned back to him and kissed him long, and deep. She smiled into his mouth before she pulled away and vanished out the door.

Considering all that had happened to her through out the past week, especially that day, she seemed to be quite strong just then. Maybe she realized she had to be to move on.

* * *

Saturday evening they held a small gathering with the staff, and several people outside the school she never met, for drinks in honor of Snape's Birthday, which was actually on Sunday. Naturally Seda was invited, first off for being of age and most importantly being the only student in the school at the time. The rest of the students would arrive Sunday night for start of term again.

Dinner was as it usually was and drinks followed in one of the smaller halls. Snape didn't seem concerned about any of it, probably because he didn't care for his Birthday. The rest of the staff and guests, probably from the Ministry, chatted amongst themselves. She actually preferred to sit on one of the chairs off to the corner, thinking to herself as she watched Snape get lured into conversations he'd rather not have. He wasn't social, she knew that, and she felt especially bad for him since he would receive the extra attention no matter what.

She and Snape actually didn't talk at all during the drinks. In fact they hadn't talked much since their meeting Friday afternoon. It was as if it didn't happen or they were merely too caught up in that memory to even look at each other. It could have been both, she didn't know. All she knew was the few drinks she had and the noise in the room were making her head spin. She excused herself from the crowd, bumping into Lupin on her way out.

She had planned on returning to her rooms but her feet led her in another direction. She made her way silently out the front doors of the castle and off into the white wonderland before her. Luckily she just learned a self-heating charm and placed it upon herself.

The sun was setting just beyond the horizon as she followed the endless slope of glittering white towards the frozen lake. She never realized how enchanting the scenery around the castle was while it was covered with a soft layer of fresh snow. The trees in the Dark Forest stood tall as they ever did, but they were glowing almost with the reflection of white bouncing off its borders. The mountains were glorious, snow covered and majestic, extending up into the depths of the sky. And then there was the castle itself. If she didn't know better she would say it looked like every castle she ever imagined from a Fairy Tale, unbelievably breathtaking and so beautiful it didn't seem real.

After one walk around the lake the moon had rose to its full height and was spreading out its glimmering beams across the grounds, sweetly embracing everything within its reach. The snow had also begun to fall, gently dancing towards the earth in a careless effort. She always forgot how bright it was at night in the middle of winter. The reflection of the snow in the gray sky worked against each other, making everything illuminate between them. Still she walked on; unable to escape from the bliss she was bewitched by.

She was leaning against the walls of the boathouse, standing on the dock over the lake, and staring out at the scenery before her. Her body was not feeling any bit of coldness so she sort of forgot where she was after awhile.

"Mind if I join you?" Came a smooth voice and she jumped nearly out of her skin.

She turned around and came face to face with Snape. Her heart pounded in her chest.

"You scared me!" She said holding a hand to her heart. "Don't do that." She added.

"I see you've finally noticed my presence." He said strangely.

"What do you mean?"

"I've been watching you for half an hour now. I thought you were going to stay out here all night."

"Huh?" she said confused.

He took a breath and walked around her, and she turned to face him.

"I also decided to escape, though not as early as you unfortunately."

"So what are you doing down here?" She seemed as if she was irritated, but actually she was glad he was there.

"I've come to collect Friguruta leafs." He said and looked at her directly once more.

"What's that?" She said honestly, feeling dumb.

He gave her a quizzical look then said, "Friguruta is a bush, or shrub, that produces highly poisonous leafs. However, they can only be picked during winter under the light of a New Moon, or else they have no use for potion making."

"Where are they?" she said, looking interested.

"Over there." He said, pointing over her shoulder.

She turned around and looked in the direction he was pointing. Behind the boathouse was a small shore with a clearing that drifted off into the lake. The most hideous looking plants she had ever seen were nestled upon it. They looked more like midget tree trunks, standing barely two feet tall, with thorny vines wrapped around the trunks in an evil and threatening way. She didn't see anything that looked like a leaf upon it anywhere.

She turned back to him and said, "I've never seen them before."

"That's because they are very rare. We only have a supply of them so I can restock Madame Pomfrey's cabinets. Otherwise I'd have to venture to the Alps of Switzerland to retrieve them."

He said this as if it were a burden or something of the sort. She figured they must be difficult to get to then.

"What are they used for?"

The snow was still continuing to fall softly, just as it was before.

"They are used mainly in health potions. For colds and influenza, some sleeping draughts that cause dreamless sleep and relaxation. It's not much different from the herb known as Chamomile, however Friguruta is much more dangerous when dealt with."

"How so?" She continued to ask questions, not knowing if it bothered him or not.

He looked at her for a moment then began walking towards the clearing.

"Come with me," he said and she followed closely.

It was actually quite a chore to get to them. No wonder she had never seen them, for they were well hidden and hard to get to. They walked around the edge of the shore, through drifts of snow and over a small patch of frozen water until they came to the shroud of ugly bushes. He stopped when he came within about three feet of them. She was about to take a step closer when he held out his arm and caught her across the stomach.

"Don't move any closer." He said cautiously, looking down at her with dark eyes.

She furrowed her eyebrows in question, not understanding why. Obviously there was a good reason. He looked at her for another moment then pulled out his wand. He pointed it at the bushes, muttered a spell and raven flew out of his wand.

It flew towards the bushes and when it came within a foot the vines that were wrapped around the trunks uncoiled like wild snakes and snatched the bird out of the air in barely a blink of an eye. She gasped softly and he looked down at her. The thorny vines punctured the bird like a death grip and pulled it into its grotto of thorns until the raven was gone from view. She heard a loud crack and then a crunching sound. The vines returned to normal and then it was silent.

She remained staring at the lifeless bushes, hardly unable to believe what she just saw. When she had just about regained her breath the vines moved once more. Somewhere from within the tangled thicket a small lump of something came flying out. As it passed her overhead she jumped backwards with a shriek and noticed it was the raven, stripped of its feathers and skin, barely a bundle of bones and left over organs. It zoomed out of sight and landed dozens of yards away.

Her jaw dropped open in shock and then she was panting. Apparently she had jumped into him and his hand was pressing into her hip, bracing her from falling over. She swallowed hard and looked up at him, wide eyed, almost terrified.

"Intriguing, isn't it?" He smirked at her. She nodded, too distracted to answer.

"You should see what it does to humans." He said darkly, his eyes glistening with caution. She took his word for it and nodded again.

She stood straight and swallowed once more, trying to find her voice.

"What a horrible… twisted… horrible thing." She hissed out, unable to find words to explain it.

"Only if it is not taken seriously. It has its uses however." He smirked again.

"So how are you supposed to get its leafs? If it even has any that is." She said, looking back towards the ugly things.

"When the light of the New Moon shines directly down upon it the leafs are exposed, and the vines are subdued for that time being, but only while the light is still upon it. If the clouds cover the moon or the light is shifted in any way… well you can imagine the consequence." He said almost sarcastically.

"Er, I'll just let you fetch them then." She said nervously. She had no idea how to deal with the monstrosity. He gave her a funny look then, as if an idea came over him.

They continued to wait for the moonlight to shine down upon it directly and they talked while they waited. They talked about attacks on various people, issued by a Friguruta bush for their carelessness. They also went on to talk about other rare and violent plants with useful potions ingredients. It fascinated her actually so she didn't mind.

The moon was finally overhead so he moved forward towards the bush, obviously unafraid. He looked back at her when she didn't move.

"Come here," he said.

She didn't move. She only shook her head. He was insane if he thought she would go near it. There was absolutely no way she was moving any closer.

"Come here," he said again, a bit more forceful.

Still she didn't move. Instead she took a step backwards. She didn't trust that bush. She trusted him, just not that bush. He finally sneered and walked back to her with dominance. She thought he was going to drag her forward but instead she was taken by surprise. He swooped down with his head, tangled his hands into her snowflake-covered hair and kissed her fiercely.

She barely had time to realize what he was doing when he pulled away. He looked at her for a moment then returned to the bush, where he knelt down and took out a small knife. He began cutting off small twigs with leafs sprouted over them and slipped them inside a small canvas bag.

She took a moment to breathe again, and then shook her head quickly. Without thinking she moved forward and knelt down next to him in the snow. She felt kind of silly but after that she was not going to refuse him anything.

He handed her a knife and showed her how to cut the branches properly, without destroying the plant or the leaves. He also showed her how to cut them without getting stabbed by the thorns. He explained if she were to touch one it would inject a poison into her blood stream and she would have a temporary paralysis, just long enough for the moon to shift so the vines could snatch her up. She was extremely careful not to go anywhere near the thorns.

After nearly half an hour the moon was getting ready to shift so they gathered the rest of their severed branches and placed them into the canvas bag. They retreated back across the frozen patch of water, through the snowdrifts and back across the shore. They headed up the hillside and she made for the stairs that led to the castle. Instead he took her arm and steered her in a different direction.

"There's a shorter way," he said.

They walked on in the falling snow across grounds she had never been on before. It led to the back of the castle, behind the courtyards and near the forest. They came to a passage in the trees where the branches hung over like a cathedral canopy. They walked along the path and it almost seemed enchanted. The earth became so quiet then, there was only the sound of the rustling branches and their footsteps crunching through the snow.

"This is amazing. I can't believe I've never seen this." She said finally after a minute of silence. She looked around her in awe of everything. It was so white.

"Not many know of this path." He said simply.

"Why?" She asked, walking beside him, beginning to move closer.

"Because students aren't allowed in the Forbidden Forest."

"Obviously it's forbidden then." She replied with a smile. He looked down at her and smirked.

"Being cheek, Miss Wood?"

"No, being logical." She smiled again.

"You are quite bold, aren't you?" He said, looking ahead.

"And you are quite cunning." She said, still looking at him as she walked.

"Why do you say that?"

"That was some little trick you pulled back there." She teased.

"I have no idea what you are talking about. I do not pull tricks."

"You knew that would work, didn't you? Are you going to use that to bend me to all your wills then?" She was a huge tease.

"Do what exactly?" He acted as if he had no idea.

She stopped mid step and grabbed him by the sleeve. She forced him around with tremendous strength for one so small and pulled him down by the collar. She pressed her lips into his mouth and delivered the most powerful kiss she could muster. After a few seconds she pulled away and looked at him intensely.

He panted slightly at being surprised like that but the look in his eyes was nothing but hunger. He slid his hands back into her hair and pulled her close so there eyes were right in front of the other.

"I believe it was more like this," he said dangerously low and captured her lips with his mouth. He held the kiss until both of them needed air. When they pulled back she was breathless all over again. Then she smirked into his face.

"You _are_ cunning." She said playfully.

He looked back at her with a smirk of his own and said, "That's why I am a Slytherin."

"I can see that." She breathed into his mouth.

The snow continued to fall, snowflakes landing on their faces and melting into glimmering drops of water. Their faces were actually damp now from the amount of snow falling on them. One landed on her nose and tickled her, making her scrunch. Another landed on her eyelashes but he kissed them gently and her whole body felt like it was melting now.

She looked up at him from beneath her lashes, calling him in a seductive way only her eyes could do. She felt him take a deep breath, obviously steadying himself.

"Would you mind telling me more about rare plants, professor?" She said just as seductively into his mouth, biting his lip as she did.

"You are quite cunning yourself, Miss Wood." He hissed back into her lips.

"I learn from the best… Severus." She couldn't help but hiss herself.

He took her into another mind-boggling kiss and held on until both of them were floating because of lack of oxygen. It was minutes before he pulled away and they panted into one another desperately.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" She whispered. She was asking so much. She knew it. She expected him to say no before she even finished thinking.

It seemed like forever that he just stared at her, no emotion what so ever on his face. Finally he leaned in and kissed her neck, just below her chin. He nipped at the flesh momentarily and returned his eyes to hers. He released his hands from her hair, stood straight and began walking onwards once more.

She stared after him for a moment. What did that mean? She finally decided she didn't care and caught up to him. She walked by his side down the path and slipped her hand into his. It took him a few seconds to accept it but then he coiled his fingers around hers. Once they were out of the pathway of trees he turned to her.

"Trust me," he said.

She barely had time to reply before he tapped his wand on her head and she felt a cool trickling of liquid pass over her body.

"Follow me," he ordered with out explaining himself and walked off. She ran behind him to catch up and followed him closely. She didn't know what he did but she trusted him.

He led her back into the castle, through a maze of corridors and down some stairwells. She finally began to recognize where she was when he muttered something and a passage way was revealed. He pulled her inside and the passage closed. Torches on the wall flared into life and he continued walking until he came to a door. He opened it after waving his wand across it and stepped inside.

The fireplace burst into life like the torches and it was roaring magnificently within seconds. He tapped her head with his wand and she felt that trickle again. Before she could ask what he did he snatched her up by the lips and rendered her breathless.

She didn't remember how but they managed to make it to his bed. As they layed there after a round of passion, the sheets thrown wildly over their bodies, they looked at each other in that same way. So deeply they were lost in the other. The words were still screaming inside her to get out but something still forced them back within her.

He took her hand in his after she fell asleep, her head resting gracefully on his chest. He closed his eyes and whispered into her ear, "stay with me," and fell asleep.

A/N: Ok so there you have it. I gave in to my romance crave once more but I love the way it turned out. I had been planning for them to have a walk in the snow and finally the opportunity showed it self. I know this is going to sound bad but only one thing comes to mind when I think about this chapter; Severus and Seda are like little lust bunnies! HA! Ok, I hope you enjoyed it though. This chapter is a big turning point for both of them. You'll see why. Toodles!


	54. In the Morning Light

Oy, so you probably saw my little comment in the last chapter. Severus and Seda remind me of little lust bunnies, I swear! Funny I should laugh about it considering I wrote it that way. In a way I'm not really writing the story any more. It's kind of taken a life of its own really. By that I mean the story is planning and unraveling itself as it goes on, almost as if everything that happens was meant to be that way. It's sort of a weird and eerie perspective to see this from, but I am the writer so I can think what I want. HA! Ok, I'll stop now so you can read this chapter. Toodles!

* * *

She woke up, not sure whether it was still night or early morning. She didn't care either way though because she was with him, which was all that mattered then. She took a breath and she could still smell him. That wonderful woodsy scent of sandalwood and spices, filling her nose and making her feel warm.

She lifted her head slightly so she could see his face. It was peaceful and undisturbed, and it made her feel misplaced to see him like that. She didn't know why her heart ached then but it did. Instead she tried to ignore it and concentrated on his chest again, watching the gentle rise and fall as he slept so beautifully. As long as she continued to feel the things she felt when she was near him she was content. She could ask nothing more of him for it was a burden on them both.

All she could do was watch him sleep. It was almost something like a spell. It was an unspoken energy that pulsed through her body and she felt like she could watch over him forever. So she continued to do so; studying his features as if she was memorizing them, taking in all she could possibly absorb as if she was going to forget him. She couldn't explain it.

She realized that the longer she sat there the more her heart would feel light, as if it were flying. Then at times it would feel heavy, like someone had dropped a boulder on her chest. She also started to realize that the spinning feeling of her heart was really the wings of love fluttering about her body. She knew it now; she was wholly and unquestionably in love with him. Though why couldn't she say it?

She noticed the tears falling down her cheeks after one landed on his chest. However, she wasn't sad. She was looking straight at him, knowing she was so in love with him and yet crying about it. It was the most indescribable feeling in the world and yet it still burdened her. She wasn't supposed to be in love with him but she was. She just continued to smile softly about it though, knowing she'd learn to live with it. She could ask no more of him, for it was a burden on them both.

As she leaned over to kiss him one of her tears landed on his cheek. Then she reached for the sheet and rolled over onto her side so that her back was against his chest. Gently she took his hand and adjusted his arm so it was draped across her waist. Se nuzzled in close and placed her head on the same pillow as him. Her fingers wrapped around his hand, holding him close to her so they'd never be apart.

* * *

He woke some time later after she fell back asleep. He was having a very strange dream about rain and it finally woke him. The sun was still down but it was five in the morning. Something cool was on his face and he brushed it away. It felt like water he noticed. His eyes opened and a thought came to him. He couldn't have been crying. That was preposterous. He hadn't cried since he was a child. It was a very odd feeling for him then. He knew it couldn't have been a tear but what else could it have been?

Not letting it bother him to insanity he dismissed it without another thought. He just realized the position he was in with her though, which was not the same as when they fell asleep. He thought this odd because neither of them, he knew for certain, moved while they slept. He was thankful for that actually or else he'd kick her off the bed if she squirmed around.

She must have been awake he thought. It came to him that she must have been crying at some point too. He had no idea why but he knew it. Maybe that explained the strange dream, he wasn't entirely sure but it was eerie.

He sucked in the cool dungeon air and let his senses come to him properly. However he didn't really want to wake up fully because he was rather enjoying the position he was in. He didn't think it was possible for her to press her self any closer to his body. She even put her head on the same pillow, the little twit he thought. This made him smirk. He then proceeded to bury his face into her neck and breathe deeply. He loved her scent. It was the sweetness of flowers and the ocean mixed together.

He felt somewhat alive that morning, more so than before. He knew it wasn't because it was his Birthday. He hated the day. It was something else and he felt energized.

"Seda," he whispered into her ear. She moaned softly.

"Seda," he repeated. She moaned a bit louder. She was ignoring him. Obviously she just wanted to sleep but he had other plans.

He placed a kiss on her neck, following it with one on her shoulder. He lifted his hand and stroked her cheek until her eyes fluttered open groggily.

"You wake," he spoke into her ear.

"I sleep," she spoke hoarsely and covered her face with her arm.

He smirked again. The way she could so easily mock him and get away with it. It was one of her accomplishments that intrigued him. She wasn't going to get away with it this time however. He started biting her ear, soft nibbles until she growled at him, frustrated.

"You are cruel," she said sleepily. Trying to keep her eyes closed.

"You are stubborn," he spoke like velvet into her ear. He saw the goose bumps form all over her body.

She finally let her arm fall from her face onto the bed with an impatient thud.

"What is it?" She asked, still hoarse in the voice.

"Come with me." His hand conveniently snaked across her stomach.

"Where?" She said, yawning.

"You'll see, but you have to get up." His voice was still so smooth. It could lure her anywhere probably.

She moaned in protest but finally shifted so she was on her back, and he was practically on top of her. She closed her eyes, still trying to find sleep.

"This better be worth it." She said seriously but she smiled after.

Her breath nearly stopped in her throat when she felt him kiss her chest and gradually work his way down between her legs. He stopped his administrations before she could reach her peak. He kissed his way back up and she was panting, wide-eyed and fully awake.

"You can wake me like that anytime," she said breathlessly.

"Come, quickly." He said and stood up, trying to ignore that. He smiled on the inside.

"Where are we going?" She asked several minutes later as he led her up the stairs.

"You are ludicrously impatient." He replied, leading her into a hidden corridor.

"I take it you aren't going to tell me." She smiled and caught up to him in the dark corridor, walking at his side rather quickly.

"Obviously," he said, and gave his usual smirk.

"Did I ever tell you that I hate surprises?" She explained playfully.

"We have something in common then."

He quickened his pace to where ever they were going. He led her up stairs near the North Tower by the Astronomy classrooms. They ascended hundreds of stairs, so many she thought they would never end.

They finally came to the top and there was a small hallway with a door at the end. He walked to it and waited for her to catch up. She was nearly out of breath.

"We must be nearly at the…" she paused as he opened the door.

The door led out onto the roof of one of the towers and outside it was dark and hazy, gray from the snow. She stepped outside and finished her sentence.

"Top of the castle," she said in awe as the snow fluttered down upon her in a soft blanket.

"Ah, you noticed." He mocked as he closed the door behind him. He walked over towards the edge of the tower, leaning against the brick barrier that kept one from falling over.

It was quite a view she noticed as she stepped up beside him. She could see some of the grounds but it was difficult because it was dark still. She breathed in the cool winter air and looked up at him.

"Why did you bring me here?" She asked sincerely.

He didn't reply but merely nodded in front of him. She turned her head to where he was looking and waited for something to happen. All she could see were the many trees of the forest sitting just beyond the lake. She kept looking but saw nothing. She was just about to ask again when a very faint color spread across the sky behind the mountains.

Emerging from the black peaks was an array of bright pink and orange beams. As the colors rose steadily higher the beams of light fell over the mountaintops and tumbled down to the trees. From there the beams scattered across the grounds like eerie fingers until they hit the castle. She looked back towards the source and watched as the sun rose ever higher, taking its time as if it had nothing better to do.

Slowly it rose behind the mountains, shedding more light as it elevated. Everything the light touched seemed to spring into life. Magnificent golden hues sparkled across the grounds and the snow glistened like she had never seen, almost as if it were made of diamonds. It dazzled her to the point she gasped and felt her heart stop for a moment.

"This is quite a view." She said, not sure if she even spoke at all.

"Quite," he replied as he continued to look out before him.

"It's… indescribable." It really was she thought.

They said nothing for a few minutes, just stood there and admired the beauty. She was waiting for him to say something, anything really. It was so hard to stand in the silence with him, yet enjoyable at the same time. It made time pass too quickly in a way.

"I want to ask something, but will you be completely honest?" She said a minute later.

"It depends on the question." He said honestly.

She shivered for a moment then went on. "If… the… if the dreams take over… what will happen to me?" It was quite a change in subject.

"We've talked about this." He replied.

"Yes… but what I mean is I know that I could… it could kill me but…" She shivered again.

"You want to know how you'll die?" He asked as if he knew all ready.

"Yes," she said in barely a whisper.

He thought a moment, deciding the best way to tell her. It was hard to look at her so he kept looking ahead.

"Please… tell me." She pleaded quietly.

"If the dreams become too intense they suck you in like a life source, feeding off your energy until you have nothing left. That is why you are weak when you wake." He took a breath and went on. "If the worst happens… you come to irreversible sleep."

"Even with the potion?" She asked, shivering more.

"The potion will only work before you reach that level of psychological damage. After that your brain basically shuts down and you are lost within yourself."

"So my body will live off itself… until its too weak and…" she quivered.

"You die." He spoke slower than usual.

It began to feel colder than it did a few moments ago. She clenched her fist in the snow, trying to relieve herself of the fear.

"Will I… um," she swallowed, unable to finish.

"Yes… you will suffer." He answered, reaching over to hold her hand.

She sniffed, sucking in air she forgot she had lost. They stood quietly for a minute.

"So there's no way to stop it." She said solidly.

"There is a way, we just haven't found it yet. We anticipate that with each session it will point to more insight of what is generating them. When we understand them we will be able to rectify it."

They stood quietly for another minute. They seemed to do that quite often, but both knew they were thinking wildly within themselves.

"Am I foolish to feel afraid?" She asked softly, all ready feeling foolish.

"You'd be foolish to ignore it." His voice seemed distant.

It was yet another minute of silence. She was either losing track of time while standing under the falling snow or she was thinking too much to speak.

"Do wizards enter Heaven?" She asked somewhat off hand.

He was taken by surprise for a second. It wasn't what he expected for her to say next.

"Why do you ask?"

"I just… I just wanted to know. Everyone's beliefs are different. Witchcraft and sorcery are believed to be associated with sadism in many religions. Therefore those people do not go to Heaven, as some believe."

"You are asking the wrong person about religious knowledge and how it applies to our world." He took a breath. "Wizardry is not black nor associated directly with Satan. There are those who go so far into the Dark Arts they see him as their only power source however. Our world is not used for evil; we are just another race of humans to put it simply. As for Heaven, I assume one goes where they believe to be their fate."

She didn't say anything. She only continued to stare, stone-faced before her.

"Death is the same among all living creatures. The soul goes on. Witches and Wizards have a choice when it comes to this though. We may choose to go on or to stay behind. Ultimately what we choose will be for eternity. Where we go, no one entirely knows."

She took several breaths, letting her chest rise and fall at its own pace.

"Do you believe people see each other again, after they go on?" She sounded very sad.

"I can only assume one sees what they believe."

"But what do _you_ believe?" She said, still looking in front of her.

"Yes," he said slowly and took a moment before he finished. "I want to believe people see each other again… after they go on."

His voice was uncharacteristically sincere. She had not heard it often, and he spoke that way very rarely.

She finally looked up at him and squeezed his hand a bit tighter.

"I want to believe that too," she said quietly, and leaned into his body.

He swallowed and found it hard to find words to speak at the moment. He assumed it was one of those times where words had no meaning, but emotions meant everything. He held her against him while they both looked out at the sunrise, still going before them.

"Li aspetterò, qui all'interno del mio cuore, dopo che vada al cielo." She whispered into his chest. She didn't know what came over her, but the need to say it overwhelmed her.

Something inside him sparked, making him tense for a moment. He didn't hear her properly but he wasn't even sure if he was supposed to hear her. He felt torn for a minute.

"Parli non di moiré." He decided to speak back to her, not knowing what to expect.

She gasped softly and he could feel her body stiffen beneath his embrace. She didn't look at him but spoke nervously.

"You heard me?" She said disbelievingly.

"Not clearly," he said truthfully.

"But you understood?" She said slightly surprised.

"Yes," he answered truthfully again.

It was silent for a few seconds. She was gathering her thoughts obviously.

"I didn't know you could speak it." She said, almost unable to believe he understood her.

"It is one of few that I know fluently." He couldn't believe he heard what she said. In a way he wished he hadn't.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

He wasn't sure if she was sorry about what she said or if she was sorry about actually saying it so he could hear her. He didn't know how to respond.

"I was unaware you could speak it either." He tried to say calmly. Inside he was unable to think a proper thought.

"I've been able to since I was twelve." She said, somewhat distantly.

It was a very awkward moment now because she couldn't believe she said it in the first place and more so that he heard and understood. He couldn't believe she said what she did and wasn't sure what to make of it. He wasn't certain if she was serious or just feeling caught up in her emotions. She had been through a great deal of emotions in the past week so he really didn't know what to think.

What he did know was that something between the two of them was changing and he couldn't decide whether he should accept it or not. Never before had he been so emotionally intuitive with another.

"I think we should go in." He said after several more minutes of silence.

She nodded and he led her back inside. They walked in strange silence all the way down to the third floor. She paused when they came to the landing.

"Um, I'll see you later. I'm going to shower." She said, looking at him blankly as he turned to face her.

She saw him nod at her and then she turned and walked off to her rooms as her chest pounded oddly. She was finding it hard to breathe actually. She immediately walked to the bathroom, ripped off her clothes and got inside her shower.

She stood beneath the water and let it pour down on her, hoping it would make the feeling in her chest go away. The more she tried to concentrate on making the feeling go away the more weak she began to feel, until finally she forgot everything around her and blacked out. It wasn't long before the dream began to take place once more.

* * *

He was drinking his coffee when a sharp pain shot across his chest. He dropped his cup on the table, which made the two people at the table look over at him. It began to burn with a dull throb and he almost began to feel dizzy. It wasn't as strong a pain as it had been before but it was uncomfortable all the same.

"Severus? Is something wrong?" Lupin looked concerned.

"Excuse me," Snape said as he stood from the table.

Lupin and Dumbledore exchanged glances and then turned back to watch him exit through the side door of the hall.

* * *

She woke up feeling very lightheaded and misplaced. She could hardly remember what happened, except for that dream. All she knew now was that her chest was throbbing and it was painful.

She opened her eyes and looked around. She was in her bed but she didn't remember getting there. Now she was even more confused. What happened?

"You're awake," came his voice.

She turned her head and saw him walking to her from the sitting room.

"What… happened?" She said so softly she could barely hear it her self.

"The dream, obviously." He looked somewhat misplaced him self.

"I hardly remember it though." She looked confused again. "How did I get here?"

"I assumed something was wrong and came to see if you were well. After you didn't answer the door I went inside and found you in the shower, passed out. I administered the potion right away, before it got too severe, and you have been sleeping for several hours now."

He finished; looking over her to make sure everything about her was still normal. When he looked up into her face his dark eyes glittered strangely.

She swallowed several times, trying to find air or words to speak.

"The mark… it came to you again didn't it?" She said, looking him straight in the eye.

He nodded and she continued to stare at him strangely. She looked down at her chest, underneath the sheets and noticed her mark was not there.

"It was there a few hours ago, but faintly." He said before she could even ask.

"Why is this happening?" She said sadly, looking back at him. "Why is it affecting you too?" She felt angry at the entire situation.

"I can only guess it's because of the potion I gave you before. It may have formed some on going connection, however I doubt it because the potion is not that complicated. I really cannot tell you why."

She sighed. "Why won't this end? I just don't understand." Her head fell back against the pillow and she closed her eyes.

"Clearly it's making a point and you haven't seen it yet. No one has." His voice was quiet, trying to understand it him self.

He thought silently for a while, watching her think to her self too.

"What was it you said earlier? I couldn't hear you properly." He was very curious.

"I'm not sure why I said it actually. Something just came over me." She didn't want to tell him at all really. She felt foolish.

"Would you mind telling me?" He demanded in his smooth tone.

She took a large breath and hesitated before she spoke.

"It meant; I will wait for them, here to the inside of my heart, after that I go to the sky. And you said, speak not of dying. I had no idea you could speak Italian."

"I didn't know you could speak it either." He said simply.

She sighed again, wincing this time from the pain.

"You don't have to spend your Birthday sitting here with me you know. I'm sure you have other things to do." She all ready felt bad enough about causing him similar pain.

"I assure you, those things can wait. Your state of well-being is more of a priority right now." He was right in a way, as usual.

"Well… Happy Birthday then." She opened her eyes and smiled at him.

He sat with her, making her rest until she insisted they go down for lunch. He offered to have it sent but she was relentless about making sure she went. Only one thing came to mind as he walked with her to the Great Hall, stubborn Gryffindors.

They ate lunch, and she seemed to be doing rather well. She wasn't as weak as usual but he supposed it was because the dream wasn't as strong. They only seemed to be severe during sessions, or so he thought. Why then did she have that dream when she was home for the holidays? Something didn't add up about it all.

When he walked her back to her rooms, just to make sure she continued to rest, he was surprised just as he was leaving. She grabbed him and kissed him, so innocently as she often did, and he thought he would lose his mind for a moment.

"What was that for?" he asked, somewhat confused. She never just randomly kissed him. It was always before, during or after a round of intimacy. Not that he minded however.

"Just in case I don't get a chance later today, before your Birthday is over." She smiled smugly at him, glad she was able to surprise him.

He smirked at her for a moment, looking dominant before her as he stood about a foot taller than her. He only had one thing to say.

"Siete abili." He spoke smoothly, raising an eyebrow.

She laughed slightly and he nodded. Then he left her in peace as he returned to his dungeons, somewhere far away from her, too far in some ways.

* * *

The first week back after the holidays seemed to drag by in a boring matter. All anyone could talk about was their vacation and what they did, which got very boring after awhile. Sitting in classes wasn't much better either, especially after the weekend she had. It was sort of a bother to have been able to spend the entire weekend with him, getting along very well for once, and then have it be over like that.

Of course when term started up again they had to keep their casualness. There were far too many eyes around that could assume the wrong things and they'd both be in trouble. As much as she wanted to tell someone she felt so strongly for someone, she knew she couldn't. It was sort of a delicious secret but annoying at the same time.

Then, of course, she would think about his feelings for her and she would feel burdened all over again. Clearly he didn't feel as strongly about her, and he didn't want to hear what she felt for him, so she put it aside and tried to get on with her life anyway. Nothing was perfect; she knew that. She only wished it could be.

The second week passed by more quickly and soon Saturday evening came. It was the first day they would be restarting the sessions. Seda felt a sense of nervousness as she sat in Snape's office, waiting for Hermione to show up. She knew what to expect of course, but in some ways she knew it might be worse. She was uncertain about it so that is why she felt so anxious. She really _didn't_ know what to expect anymore.

As they sat and waited for the dream to take place, Snape began explaining to Hermione about the new potion he was developing.

"It will put her into a deeper sleep. It may even cause her to be out for several days, but she will not feel the effects of the dream. Instead she will only remember them when she wakes up, hopefully able to tell us what happened and if she went further into the dream itself. However, it has its flaws." He said darkly.

"Like what?" Hermione asked feeling a bit worried.

"There is a possibility that if the dream does become more intense while she is under the influence of the potion… she may not wake up."

"You mean… she'll die?" She couldn't believe it.

"No, more like a coma." He said slightly annoyed.

"Then why risk it?" She challenged, trying to be sensible.

"Because it may be able to cure her for good."

"But professor… if she doesn't wake up?" She said softly, almost in a squeak.

"Then she may find peace," he said slowly, "from her dreams."

He looked away from Hermione and down at Seda's face. If only he could bring her that peace she longed for.

A/N: Ah, so another chapter done and another chapter closer to the end. You are probably wondering why she can speak Italian so suddenly. Well actually I was going to have them learn this of the other quite a long time ago, before the convention, but it never fit in where I wanted it to have meaning. So, finally, I found a place. If you want to know what Snape said in his last little comment, I think you can figure it out. I'll just tell you anyway. In Italian he said, _Siete abili, _which means you _are_ cunning. Well actually in Italian _abili _can be used as cunning or skillful, so whatever you want to make of it. Until next time… Toodles!


	55. New Theory

Oy! Sorry it took me SO LONG to update. It was sort of awkward to write so please forgive me. Not to mention I had tons of homework, aye! I go to college all year around so I am constantly busy with work and such. This was supposed to be longer but I feel you deserve something at least. Enjoy and Toodles!

* * *

It seemed longer than usual for her to start reacting to her dream, or maybe it was because they were apprehensive about this session and time seemed to slow down. What ever it was undoubtedly caused an uneasy feeling.

Snape sat behind his desk, going through mountains of notes he had taken to prepare for the new potion he was developing. He was quite absorbed into it for a time, either because he was studying it for reference or because he was trying to pass the time. He did not come out of the daze until Hermione approached him, hesitating a bit.

"Professor?"

He didn't say anything; implicating he wanted her to go on.

"I thought you might find this interesting," she said after a moment of silence, and slid a very old book onto his desk. It was open already, revealing a page marked with a tassel.

He finally looked over at the book and studied it for a moment. He didn't recognize it; obviously she had gotten it from beyond Hogwarts library, which happened to be extensive enough.

"This here," she pointed at a passage. "I thought it might mean something."

He began scanning the text and mid way down he paused, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"_Emblems given from a loved one may pertain to coded charms, on occasion ensuing a counter corollary, such as a curse or blight, if the beneficiary is unable to obtain the essential knowledge, and/or unable to fulfill the preordained sanctuary charm,_" she read the sentence aloud where he paused.

She waited for him to say something, to look up, anything. Instead he turned the book over and read its title; "_Archaic and Unusual Magical Charms for Healing, Potions and Self-Defense by Connell Conklin_"

"I ordered this book a while ago when we were beginning to research potions. I had to special order it since it is so scarce," she explained when he looked at her oddly.

"I see," he said and resumed reading the passage she pointed out. "Why do you think this has significance?"

"Well," she began slowly, "I thought it was obvious. Actually, I read this passage many times before, but didn't quite understand it either until I noticed something."

She took a breath and went on.

"Honestly, we both know there is something formalizing these dreams she has. It is not just a reoccurring nightmare, coming and going of its own will. I think there might be some kind of… curse, causing it all." She waited for another reaction.

"There are many curses in this world. Back to my point, why do you think _this _has significance?" He continued to read down the page.

"Well, the _point _is something similar to this passage may apply to her. What if she has something that is causing these dreams? Something inflicting the curse?"

"If that is the case then it could be almost anything. Whatever is causing these dreams is something powerful, and nearly humanly intelligent enough to keep applying it."

"I thought about that too, professor," she said, trying to remain civil.

He raised an eyebrow, telling her to get on with it all ready. Bloody Gryffindors he thought, too noble for their own good.

"I believe that ring of hers may be the case," she said bluntly.

"Why is that?"

"You've seen the way it reacted at times, I know you have. Every time it has reacted it was because she was in a state of distress or something of the sort."

"It's very likely, however we don't know nearly enough to assume that ring is the source of all her quandary. It seems peculiar that something so abstract can produce qualities of human intellect."

"So, you think it's a person then?" she said a bit irrationally, as if the idea was absurd.

"No, I didn't say it was. I don't know what it is. Neither of us does."

"That's why I am pointing things out that could be likely. Even if it's a little eccentric it can still be probable."

"I'm saying you can't assume one probability. There are many factors to be observed before it can be determined."

"And I suppose your new potion will conclude it all then?" she snapped.

To her surprise he only smirked at her, not releasing a wrath like she expected. She narrowed her eyes at him and spoke in a cold voice.

"What are you smirking at?"

"I've forgotten how ignorant you are, even as an adult." He merely smirked again.

"Ignorant? I don't think I'm the one who's ignorant."

He glared at her for a moment before he passed the book back in her direction.

"If we are to continue working together then I suggest you act a bit more respectably," she opened her mouth to argue, but he cut her off, "and if you cannot trust in my decisions then your help will be nothing more than a nuisance."

"Then you should try trusting me too, _sir_," she retorted.

He nodded with an impassive expression and then the wait continued.

It was over an hour still that they had to wait for any sign of activity. When something did begin to happen, however, Seda's behavior was not as it had always been. It could only be described as odd.

A small light came from beneath her shirt, and when they pushed her collar aside the ring was vibrating gently, illuminating with a soft glow. Then her eyes opened and she stared expressionlessly, seeing nothing but the visions in her head.

* * *

She could feel herself stirring away from sleep yet she did not want to wake up yet. She felt much too dazed to open her eyes just yet but she had to. The darkness in her head was overwhelming and she couldn't take it much longer. She felt lost. Now the most curious sensation was coming from around stomach, some kind of odd pressure.

She opened her eyes and nearly shrieked. Looking back at her was a pair of hazel eyes, wonder and amusement shining in them.

"Madison?" she said strangely. They were nose to nose and the sudden sight of waking to something so close made her feel dizzy. The little girl just giggled, obviously thinking it was funny. It was in a way. How often does one wake up to find a toddler pressing their nose into one's face? Not too often.

Seda blinked, and Madison did the same while she laughed again. Toddlers had an unpretentious way of amusing themselves. Seda couldn't help but smile.

"Mummy!" Madison squeaked, forgetting she was still nose-to-nose with Seda. The sudden vociferous tone made Seda flinch slightly.

Hermione came into view a minute later, still wearing a dressing gown. Her hair was somewhat misplaced, obviously just waking up. Seda thought this was odd. What was going on?

"Madi… I told you to look after her not to wake her," she said a little warningly as she put her hands on her hips, but friendly nevertheless.

"I didn't," she squeaked as she looked up at her mother. Then she looked back at Seda and giggled again.

"Madison… don't sit on her like that, you'll squish her. You don't want to hurt her do you?" Hermione spoke in the typical motherly voice.

Madison shook her head and crawled off Seda's stomach and down between Seda's legs on the couch. She hopped a little bit like she was on a trampoline, and with one last plop she yelled, "SQUISH!" and then laughed at herself as she fell across Seda's knees. She hugged Seda's legs like they were teddy bears.

"I squished you!" she said enthusiastically and laughed once more.

"You did," Seda said, trying not to laugh. She looked up and realized she was in Hermione's house. She wasn't in Snape's office like she thought she was.

"Um… what am I doing here?" she asked.

Hermione looked at her blankly for a moment and then she said, "Well… I'll tell you a little later." She gave a meager look and walked into the kitchen. "Come on Madison, breakfast."

Seda sat up and tried to stand, but Madison was still tangled in her legs. Seda picked her up and set her on the floor. She stood then and took Madison's hand and led her to the kitchen. Madison scrambled onto her usual chair, which had several fat books stacked on each other with a little cushion on top. Obviously they were there so she could reach the table.

Seda slumped into one of the chairs and rested her head in her hands. She sighed. She hated it when she couldn't remember what happened to her. It was aggravating.

"Wake up, sleepy," Madison squeaked, poking Seda in the arm.

"Leave her alone, Madi," Hermione warned. "Do you like sausage and eggs?" Hermione asked over her shoulder as she took out a frying pan.

"Anything is fine, I don't care," she mumbled as she rubbed her eyes and yawned. "What time is it?"

"Nearly eight," Hermione said as she cracked open a few eggs.

Seda just slouched in befuddlement, chewing on her lip trying to figure out what happened and most of all why she was there. She supposed she wouldn't be getting answers any time soon.

Several minutes later Hermione was placing plates on the table as she called, "Ron! Breakfast! Get up!"

Seda had forgotten that Ron was probably there as well. She could here some scuffling coming from upstairs, and then footsteps on the stairs.

"Coffee?" Hermione asked as she put a basket of bread on the table.

"Sure," she answered, not really caring at all. She didn't even feel all that hungry in the first place.

Hermione finished setting the food on the table and then she sat down as Ron came straggling into the kitchen, also in a robe. His hair was rumpled still and he was yawning. He came a few steps into the kitchen and paused when he saw Seda sitting there.

"Oh, hello. I didn't know you were here," he said awkwardly as he sat down.

"I told you last night, remember?" Hermione said narrowing her eyes.

Ron reached for a biscuit and said, "you should know by now that if you tell me anything when I'm half asleep I'm not going to remember." He took a bite and added, "howz magrl?" as he patted Madison on the head with a mouthful of biscuit.

She laughed and said, "daddy," as he tickled her momentarily.

"Well done, Ron. Teach her to talk with her mouth full," Hermione said irritated. He just shrugged and poured himself a cup of coffee.

Seda smirked to herself. It was a typical male thing to do. She liked Ron. She never got to know him well but he was charming in his own way. He was child-like, which is what Hermione needed, who was a bit too temperate at times.

They were just about done eating when a pop came from the living room. Seda looked up and she almost gagged on her coffee.

"Ron, why aren't you dressed yet? It's nearly nine and you… Seda?" he paused when he saw her at the table.

"Hi Harry," she said languidly as she set her mug down. She hadn't seen or talked to Harry since she saw him at the convention, which was almost a month ago. When they had parted it wasn't on the best of terms either. The morning was off to a rather interesting start so far.

A/N: Ok, I apologize for the near two-month wait! I have been ridiculously busy I can't even believe it! This was originally going to be a longer chapter, as you'll notice this is rather short for me. Well, I figured you had all been suffering from lack of updates so I just decided to post what I have. I hope you enjoyed it anyways, and I will try to update as soon as I can. Thank you all for sticking around and remaining faithful readers. Words are not enough to express the gratitude I have for all of you. Thanks again and Toodles!


	56. A Whirlwind of Truth

**A/N: Important!** _Well hello once again! I first need to get off my chest something that has been killing me. I am truly, truly sorry for taking so long to update this story. I'm sure some of you thought I had finally abandoned it, or I died or something. Well I didn't do either; I'm here with a new chapter, ready to move forward. I hope you will all be as interested still as you were once before. _

I think I should explain my absence. I owe it to you all. Firstly, I go to school all year so I have been in school for the summer. Secondly, I still have tons of homework, plus my job to do. Thirdly, and the major factor for my absence, after reading HBP I was completely and utterly turned off from writing, reading or even thinking about fanfic. I think some of you might understand. So as you can see, the course of events that took place in HBP has changed quite a lot of things in my story, which really upset me. It's not the end of the world, I know, but it was enough to keep me away for a while as I thought about my story and where it would go now.

Well I have decided that my story is now, obviously, an AU story, for apparent reasons. I am going to continue with the plot I have been doing so far, as changing it just because of book six will ruin everything. I suppose the only real problem, some could argue, is the little issue with Dumbledore. Other than that, I don't think it should be too weird. But this is fan fiction, I keep reminding myself, we can do what we want if we do it well. So I thank you for being patient with me, and I apologize once more for being so behind. Please enjoy this chapter, it will be slightly shorter than average, but I wanted to post something to prove to you that I have not dropped off the face of the earth. Toodles!

**

* * *

**

They looked at each other for a long moment, not sure what else to say to the other. It seemed nearly ridiculous in a way that there was such tension between the two, even though they hadn't had much in the past to cause it. It was obvious that certain people were drawn to each other by something no one could explain. It was like that from the moment they met. She felt some kind of connection between them, but she still couldn't deny her true feelings for someone else, someone else she loved.

"How have you been?" he asked, still surprised to see her there.

"I've been all right, I guess." She shrugged.

It seemed it was difficult for Harry to stand there and talk to her. Yet Harry looked around and smiled. At least he was trying to put him self in a pleasant mood.

"Having a pajama party, are we? I'm sorry I missed the memo," he joked. Everyone just looked or smiled sheepishly. The only one who seemed enthusiastic was Madison, who was climbing off her chair and running up to Harry.

"Uncle Harry! Uncle Harry!" she squeaked as she ran into his open arms. He gave her a bear hug and then patted her head. "Hey half-pint," he said. She giggled and then she disappeared under the table and crawled into Seda's lap.

"Well I better get dressed," Ron said quickly as he drank the last of his coffee. Then he went up stairs, leaving silence once again.

"Sit down, Harry, help yourself." She gestured to the table and Ron's empty chair.

"Er, no thanks, Hermione. I'm fine, I already ate."

"Oh please, Harry. At least have some coffee or something. I know how you are. Just like Ron. Always rushing at the last minute, hardly time to eat. Now sit down and have something," she demanded.

He raised his hands in surrender and sat down. "All right, all right! Fine! I swear, Hermione, you are getting more like Ron's mum everyday." He grinned at her as he poured himself a cup.

Seda kept her self occupied while she put Madison's hair in a ponytail, avoiding Harry's eyes as long as she could. Of course Hermione saw to it that some discussion was present.

"Harry, you wouldn't happen to have that book I asked about, do you?" She tapped her fingers on the table and gave him a questioning glare.

Harry groaned into his cup. "Oh, sorry. I completely forgot about that. I'll bring it over some other time. Right now we really have to go. Ron! Hurry up!" he yelled.

"Oy! I can't find my sock!" Ron yelled from upstairs. Harry rolled his eyes.

"You know, I really need that book, Harry. Could you please try to remember a little harder next time?" She smiled sarcastically.

"Of course, mother," he joked.

"I'm serious, Harry. It's really important. I need to find-"

"Aha! Found it!" Ron shouted enthusiastically. Harry and Seda laughed quietly, while Hermione looked annoyed. Moments later Ron was shuffling around upstairs.

"Look, I'll drop it off later, I promise." He stood up. "Thanks for the food." He kissed her on the cheek quickly and clapped her on the shoulder. "I _promise_," he added again after her look of skepticism. He looked at Madison and said good-bye, and then his eyes lingered on Seda for a moment.

Ron came rushing into the kitchen. He snatched another piece of toast and then planted a kiss on Hermione's pout. "Have a good day, got to go." He kissed his daughter on the cheek and said good-bye to Seda as he left the kitchen.

"Well… er, see you," Harry said to Seda politely and then he was gone.

Hermione and Seda looked at each other slowly and said nothing. Finally Hermione said, "well that was awkward," and they both burst out laughing.

Seda helped Hermione clean up the kitchen, and then they sat down and talked in the sitting room while Madison played on the floor.

"So he didn't tell you where he was going?"

"No. He said it was none of my concern, but I said if it has something to do with you then it is my concern. He just glared at me as usual and told me not to ask any more questions." Hermione sighed.

"That's it? That's all he said after what happened?" Seda looked confused.

"Basically, yes. He told me I would have to keep you near me until he returns."

"Why? It's never been like that before."

"I don't really understand it either, but I'm sure we are getting closer to the core of the problem."

"How do you know though?" She looked Hermione in the eyes. Then she slouched backwards and put her hands on her face. "I wish I could remember," she groaned. "I don't understand why I can't."

"I know, but hopefully we'll have more answers soon." Hermione then finished explaining the details of what happened the night before, and her theory that there might be some kind of curse radiating from the ring.

"But… if it is this ring can't we just… can't you do something to it?"

"Not exactly. If that's what is causing it all, then obviously we need it to figure out the rest of this puzzle. Just because we rid of that ring doesn't mean it will put you at ease. The dreams will more than likely continue."

"So how do we make it stop then? There has to be something."

"Well there is a way. We have to lift the curse that has fallen upon you. The thing is, we don't know what kind of curse it is exactly. It seems to be some kind of an ancient curse that isn't very well known."

Seda was silent for a moment. "But isn't there a potion-" Hermione was shaking her head. "But what about the potions-"

"The potion you take before each session is one that puts you in such a deep sleep that it makes it possible for you to communicate while you are dreaming, though you don't remember any of it. The other potion… well to put it simply… it keeps you alive. They are not cures, they're merely aids."

Seda decided there was nothing else left to say that would make her feel any better. She had to accept the fact now that her life was tied entirely to the extent of this curse. How it came to be placed on her, know one knew. That was the mystery of it all. How and why seemed to be the only questions left.

"There's no use worrying about it too much, Seda. As long as we keep the dreams controlled you will be fine."

"Yes, as long as they are controlled," she said bitterly. "But who's really controlling them? It's not you who's controlling them. It's not Snape, and it's certainly not me. It's just a game. No one can control it. All I can do is sit and wait to see where it takes me next."

"I know you-" Hermione began.

"Hermione, please, I'm not stupid. It's so obvious. It's no one's control. You don't know what it's like to fear going to sleep, fearing your dreams because you don't know if you will ever wake up again. You don't understand the feeling I am burdened with after thoroughly believing I really died in a dream," she said in a harsh whisper then panted for a moment.

"I know I will never understand it fully, but I'm trying to help you. You know that, don't you? I hate seeing you suffer. I see you suffering now and I know there is nothing I can do to stop it." She paused for what seemed like a very long breath. "You know that he worries too, Seda. You do know that, don't you?"

They stared at each other for another long moment. Each breath she took was like a stab in the chest with a fiery hot knife.

"Seda?" Hermione said worried, looking at her more closely.

"I wonder about him sometimes. He's so…"

"What do you wonder?" Hermione asked calmly.

"I wonder if he is really… I know he worries… well I think…"

"Seda… what's wrong?"

"I just… I don't really know if…"

"Oh, Seda… I wish you wouldn't judge him so hard. I tried telling you before. Snape is… I can't really explain him. You're getting involved with a very complicated man. I have no doubts he's capable of love, if that's what you are so worried about. You just don't know his past well enough. He was a double spy for half of his life, and all emotions had to be put aside for it could have meant his death, and others. He lived that way for so long Seda. I'm amazed actually that he has allowed you to come so close."

Seda turned her head to look at Hermione slowly. "I know, Hermione," she sighed. "I am certain he worries about what will happen. I believe he loves me. The thing is, we've never said it. I think it's too painful to actually say it." Her eyes lit up suddenly and she looked at Hermione intensely. "I swear sometimes when we look at each other, there's an unspoken emotion. I… the last time we-" She felt her face grow hot and Hermione blushed somewhat too.

Hermione took Seda's hand and squeezed it, telling her it was ok and not to feel ashamed. Seda took a breath and went on.

"The last time was indescribable. It's just the way he touches me. He doesn't have to speak even. Yet when I hear his voice in my ear I feel like I mold to his every unspoken wish. All I have to do is look at him and I swear he knows exactly what I'm thinking. Every fear in my head vanishes when he looks at me with those dark eyes. I get lost in them sometimes, like I'll never find my way out."

She and Hermione both took a deep breath. A faint smile covered Seda's face, but it dimmed slowly.

"The last time I nearly said it to him, Hermione. It was on the tip of my tongue, and I know he knew. He could read it through my eyes, because I could see it in him too. Yet he begged me not to say it. I fought so hard not to and finally I gave in to him again. I let myself become lost within him and… I," she sighed again.

Hermione seemed to look at her oddly, as if she too were reading Seda's mind. It was like she couldn't make up her mind about something. Finally she sighed too.

"You really, really love him don't you," Hermione said softly. Seda's eyes sparkled immensely. "Wow, Seda… it's just… I can see it on your face, in your eyes. It's no wonder you've captured him."

"Captured him?" Seda finally came out of her little daze.

"I've seen the way he looks at you when he thinks he's not looking at you that way at all."

"Huh?" Seda looked confused.

"I don't think he realizes he does it, well not at first anyways. It's only very brief. It's his eyes. I see them flare whenever he looks at you, but he covers it quickly. He's very good at hiding emotions. He seems so tense, yet a gentleness comes over him for the quickest moment and then it's gone."

"Hermione…" Seda began, not really believing her.

"Seda, trust me. He loves you. I can see it. I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but I know he does. I think he adores you."

"Adores me?" Seda raised her eyebrows in disbelief and gave a sarcastic laugh.

"Yes, adores you. It's weird to think of Snape as adoring anyone," Hermione gave a somewhat disgusted expression, "but I'm sure there have been times when you left him to fall all over himself. He probably doesn't even realize it." Hermione laughed.

Seda looked at Hermione as if she had gone mad all of a sudden. "Maybe love, but not adoration. That's just too… er, squishy for him." They both laughed. The idea of Snape turning to a pile of mush amused them greatly. Madison thought she was supposed to laugh too so she joined in, causing the two women to laugh even more.

They spent the rest of the day in Hermione's house, except for a quick frolic in the snow. Madison had insisted that she get to build a snowman with Seda. Seda still felt a little weak from the night before, but she didn't want to disappoint the small child. After all, she loved kids. She adored them.

They were outside after lunchtime when a shadow caught the corner of Hermione's eye. She turned to look but there was nothing. She looked around the entire perimeter from where she stood, but nothing was to be seen. She thought it was a bird most likely so she ignored it.

Seda was helping Madison put the sticks into the mound of snow to make arms when a small gust of wind whipped around her. It was odd because there was no wind that day, which was strange enough. She too caught a dark shadow out of the corner of her eye, and she turned to investigate more closely. Just like Hermione, she found nothing.

Seda stared off to where she thought she saw something, and Hermione noticed her looking where she had looked once.

"Did you see it too?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know. What did you see?" Seda said, still staring at the same spot between the house and the trees.

"A shadow. I saw it too, just a little while ago." Hermione started looking where Seda was looking, hardly moving.

Another gust of wind howled around but it was strange. It felt as though a whirlwind of air was circulating them like a funnel, not like a quick stream of air that whipped by and was gone. They turned their heads to look at each other when the shadow caught both their eyes again. This time it seemed to have moved up the side of the house, rather than behind it. They both looked up and it happened again. A faint, dark shadow moved across the sky, almost as if it were leaping on the rooftops.

Seda grabbed Madison by the sleeve of her coat and kept staring upwards.

"Hermione, maybe we should go in," she said nervously, starting to feel butterflies in her stomach, a weak feeling coming over her again.

"Yeah, let's go." Hermione started walking towards Seda and her daughter when another gust of wind, stronger, started blowing around them. This time they could see the streams of air actually moving in a circle, picking up speed as they went. It was getting so powerful they could hardly stand straight. Madison held onto Seda's arm as if she was being dragged away.

"Seda, hurry! Let's get inside! I don't like this at all!" she yelled over the howling wind. She tried to push her way towards them again but it was almost impossible. It was like there was an invisible barrier. She looked up in surprise, not understanding what was happening. She couldn't go through this wind.

"Something's wrong!" Hermione yelled, but her voice was nearly a whisper to Seda, even though they were only a few feet from each other. The wind circling around Seda and Madison was like a funnel of white, as the wind picked up drifts of snow and whirled around faster.

Seda was trying to move out of the funnel but she found she was blocked too. She couldn't get out. The wind picked up speed and soon she had to pick up Madison and hold her to her chest, she was being lifted off the ground because she was so small. She could see Hermione yelling but she couldn't hear her anymore. Images of fog started to cloud Seda's mind, with a shadowy figure somewhere in the distance.

"No!" she screamed to the visions, wanting them to go away. She closed her eyes and tried to squeeze them away but they refused to cease. The fogginess only became worse, making her feel dizzy as the wind kept picking up speed around her, making her sway back and forth off balance. She opened her eyes and she had a last glance of Hermione's face, as it was illuminated by a swimming silvery figure for no more than a second. Then she was gone, and all she saw was the funnel of white surrounding her and Madison. "No!" she screamed again.

The small girl buried her face into Seda's shoulder, squealing in fright. Seda was becoming weaker by the second, as if the wind was sucking the life right out of her. She dropped to her knees and crouched over, holding Madison to her. She used her body and the ground to keep the girl hidden, tightening her hold on the small child. The visions in her head were just getting stronger, making her brain feel fuzzy and disoriented.

The dark figure she had seen so many times was drawing nearer in her mind, making her breath go cold in her chest. It was calling to her again, but she refused to listen to it. She could faintly hear the howling wind, and Madison's shrieks and cries as everything in her mind started turning black. She could hardly fight back as the sensations kept getting stronger until a black blanket spread across her mind.

"No," she said weakly, trying to open her eyes. "You are not… going to…no… can't take me…" she tried to yell, but she was just too weak. "Madison, don't let… go… hold…" she tried to speak again. That burning in her heart started to throb beneath her skin, and for a moment she thought of Snape before everything around her stopped.

She peaked out from beneath the lids of her eyes and saw several pairs of legs, but she couldn't make them out before she collapsed into the snow.

"Madison! Seda!" Hermione shrieked as she dropped to her knees beside them. She pulled Madison out of Seda's arms and hugged her tightly, as Madison cried into her shoulder. "Mummy… S-S-Seda," the child sobbed.

Hermione looked down at Seda desperately. "Seda? Seda! What's wrong with her? Is she all right?" She shouted up to the old man standing over her.

"We need to get her inside, Hermione. Come, quickly." His voice was so soft, but worried. "I do not think levitating her is a good idea. Another intrusion of magic on her body might send her into shock. Remus, can you-"

"Yes, certainly," Lupin replied at once, bending over and lifting Seda into his arms. He carried her inside and rested her on the sofa.

"I'm sorry, Professor Dumbledore, I didn't know what else to do. I tried breaking the funnel around them, but nothing worked. I tried contacting Professor Snape, but he didn't respond. I… I just…" Hermione was talking so frantically she was shaking, still clutching her child to her chest.

"It's fine, you did the right thing. I was in my office chatting with Remus when your Patronus came with your message. No harm done, child. Now if I might," he bent over Seda and lifted up her eyelids. "Oh," he said, somewhat in surprise.

"What? What's wrong?" Hermione asked, still frantic. "Is she unconscious?"

Dumbledore stood up and looked down at Seda's body. "No, she is not unconscious. She is… sleeping," he said simply.

"What?" Hermione said in disbelief.

"She is not unconscious because her pupils are not dilated. However, she is in a very deep sleep, very similar to the affects that particular potion has on her," he said as he turned around to gaze at Hermione's stunned face.

"So is she having one of those… dreams again? Is she suffering?" Hermione was still shaking slightly.

"I don't think so, or else you would know, wouldn't you?" His eyes twinkled at her. "I believe the affects of the previous night have worn her out entirely. Exhausted you might say. She will come out of this sleep when her body is rested."

Hermione nodded as she stroked her daughter's head. "Have you any idea what that funnel was, Professor?"

"I can not say that I do. I've never seen anything like it. I am guessing it was more than likely a defense mechanism the curse procured. Remus?" Dumbledore turned to get Lupin's opinion, being the Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher and all.

"I can't say that I've ever seen or heard anything like that before, either. It seems as though it was some kind of shield, as Dumbledore just mentioned."

"Why though? Nothing like that has ever happened before."

"Hermione, my dear, if I knew what was causing this I would correct it immediately. It may seem bizarre to you, but I do not know every curse ever made, as old as I am." He smiled softly. "I think it best if we return her to her bedroom, so she can rest."

"Oh, er… Professor Snape asked me to stay with her until he returns." She felt awkward for a moment.

"Well then, if you wish, she may remain here, but it would be best if she returned to Hogwarts for the night. Now, is there anything else I can do for you while I'm here?" He was still smiling that all-knowing smile, though she couldn't imagine why.

"No, thank you for coming Professor Dumbledore, and you too, Lupin. I apologize again, but if Snape… well never mind. Thank you both."

"Anytime, Hermione. Watch her now," Lupin nodded at Seda. After a small smile they left, leaving Hermione with Seda, and her softly crying child.

She stared at the empty space for a moment, and then she turned her attention towards Seda. She walked over to the armchair next to her and sank into it. She pulled back so she could see her daughter properly. She wiped the tears from her face and brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"Are you all right darling? Are you hurt?" She said, sniffing her nose.

Madison just shook her head, still breathing heavily and tears running down her face.

"Well, let's get you out of these clothes then, shall we?" Hermione spoke softly as she began pulling off Madison's hat, scarf, mittens, coat, and boots. She pulled the sopping wet pants off and conjured her new ones.

When Madison was dry she looked up at her mother, then over at Seda. There was a small pout on her face, not understanding what happened. "Seda," she said in her small voice.

"She's all right, love, she is just sleeping right now. See?" Hermione suddenly flicked her wand so that Seda was now wearing just her normal clothing, and levitated a blanket to lie on top of her.

Madison walked towards Seda and stood next to her. The small child took her tiny hand and placed it in Seda's, holding onto it as she crawled up next to her on the couch, and also fell asleep.

Hermione watched them for a while after she lit the fireplace. The warmth in the room made her dose off also, considering she had not taken off her outside clothes yet. Within minutes she was out, just like the other two, after fighting to keep her eyes open.

There was a small orb of light floating around, bringing light to the darkness. She tried to catch it, but she could not. It was floating away from her. She tried to run after it, but it was getting away faster than she could run. Soon the orb was nearly a pinpoint of light, like a star millions of light years away in the sky. She continued running in the pitch-black nothingness until she fell all of a sudden into a tube of nothing but more black. She just kept falling until she screamed.

"Severus!" She sat bolt upright, her eyes wide in fear. She was panting as if she had really been running. It took her a moment to realize she was in her own room, nothing but the light of the fireplace before her. She looked around and wondered how she got there.

"Miss Wood?" Came that velvety voice out of nowhere.

She turned her head to the left and saw Severus looking at her. He was standing next to the doors that led out onto her balcony, the moonlight highlighting the side of his face.

"Severus?" She was confused, as usual. "What happened? Where were you? How did I…"

"Silence," he said quietly as he walked up to her and touched her face with his hand. She closed her eyes and let her face melt into his touch, wanting more of him. He caressed her face for a minute and then he lowered his hand. She opened her eyes from his absence.

"Severus, I… oh God I can't stand it. Severus, I'm going crazy," she said, looking up at him. He only looked back at her, no expression on his face. "I hate it when I'm not near you, when I can't feel your touch on my skin."

He still said nothing, simply looked at her through his fathomless black eyes. She narrowed her eyes in pain, while she waited for him to say something. He finally leaned over and whispered into her ear, stroking her cheek as he did.

"When I touch you… the depths of my soul burn with fire." His voice was more than a whisper in her ear; it was her strength and her weakness.

"Severus," she whispered.

"Don't speak," he whispered again into her ear, letting his fingers travel down her neck. He kissed her under her ear, gently and slowly, and then he sat up straight and looked at her. "I need to inform you where I've been." His face was serious once more.

She nodded at him, not sure if this was leading to something good or dreadful. He looked at her for a few very long seconds; so long she thought time had stopped. Uneasiness was settling between them.

"Severus… what's going on? Tell me," she said softly yet sharply.

The moment before he spoke seemed to last longer than the ones before. When he spoke his voice was bitter. "I'm going to tell you about Lucius Malfoy."

* * *

**A/N:** _Well I hope you were able to follow along, being that it has been so long since you last read. You will have noticed that things are starting to move much faster now; things are coming to the surface and being revealed. The end is not far off, maybe a stretch still, but it is definitely nearing. _

Also, I've been doing a lot of thinking. When I have finally posted the last chapter, I am going back through the entire story and refining it. As a result, it will be shorter, and more to the point. I suppose this story is still in the drafting stage, but I think it will be better once I refine and edit more. Especially when the ending is clear. We'll see how it goes. Thank you again for reading and, as always, comments are very much appreciated. I take them to heart if you have something genuine to say. Until next time my friends, Toodles!


	57. Painful Confessions

**A/N:** _Hello to all of you! I promise, this is going to be a much shorter author's note. I would just like to say thank you to all those who have commented on my previous chapter. I must say I was extremely excited to see that I didn't kill you all off with that ridiculously long wait. I apologize again for that, but hopefully I will be able to stay on track now. Anyways, let me just hand over the next chapter. The end is creeping ever closer now. Toodles!**

* * *

**_

"Lucius Malfoy? Who's that?" she asked. The look on his face when he uttered the name was of bitterness and disgust even. "Is that where you were? Did you see him, who ever he is?" She asked innocently.

He paused a moment before he answered, "yes." He swished his wand and made an armchair near the fireplace come towards him until it settled next to her bed. He sat down and rested his hands on the sides of it, bracing himself it seemed.

"I must ask you to please hold your silence unless it is absolutely necessary. What I am about to tell you will no doubt shock you. All I can ask is for your patience."

The way he spoke and what he said was in no way helping her to calm down, or ease her nerves that were stirred from earlier that day. She took a deep breath and turned her body so she could face him. She stayed curled up under the blankets, though she still felt a chill run up and down her body.

"Lucius Malfoy belongs to one of the oldest and noblest Pureblood families in the wizarding world. Lucius was drawn into the power he could achieve by becoming a Death Eater, being greedy and possessive all ready. He believed himself to be the Dark Lord's most praised servant… until he failed his master's orders. He was caught by the Ministry on a mission and was sent to prison, and he has been there ever since."

Seda continued to watch him, trying to keep her head clear and her mouth shut. She wasn't sure if she would be able to speak anyway, her stomach was in knots.

"Before I turned from the Death Eater's, tortures and killings were at their peak in the first war. Muggles and Half-Bloods, even Purebloods who were believed to be blood traitors, were tortured, used, or killed." He paused again. His face was becoming blank, as if he was just a shadow. His eyes seemed darker and hollow. His whole demeanor was empty.

"I am not going to deny you what I know you are asking. Yes, I took part in the tortures. I manipulated people, and I used them to my will. I did things you would not wish to ever hear. I invented spells and potions that cannot be described as anything but dark. I was a Death Eater. That is the simplest way I can put it."

His face was still nothing but blankness. It was starting to worry her. She was about to touch him when he started speaking again.

"Several things have become clearer to me in the past month, and until last night I was very unsure if I was right. I needed verification. I went to the only person left who I knew would provide the information I needed."

She couldn't understand where he was going with this at all. She was more confused now than before.

"Almost one year prior to the Dark Lord's first fall there was a riot. Several Death Eaters were trying to back out of their positions, not liking what they were being asked to do. Some only became Death Eater's because they didn't know where else to turn. Some had no choice; they were forced, tricked, or threatened. They were the ones who tried to resign, but the Dark Lord is merciless. He found their families and he had them killed, along side his unfaithful servants."

Seda gave a small gasp. She knew what ever he was going to say was not going to get much better. She prepared her self for what he was going to say, what ever it may be.

"The Dark Lord was the only one who knew all those in his service. Death Eaters were limited to their knowledge of who other Death Eaters were." He paused yet again. "After talking to Lucius last night, who at first refused me any information… but I convinced him," a dark shadow filled his eyes, "I learned of a wizard I had only met in passing. He became prey to a group of wizards who were Death Eaters, and he was persuaded that following their path was for the best. He tried backing out as I mentioned others did, but he was killed eventually."

His entire body was tense now. His fingers were gripping the arms of the chair. Seda felt a sense of foreboding sweep through the room again.

"The only reason I knew of him was simply because I was ordered to finish him off. The Dark Lord knew that I avoided killing, I preferred torturing rather than taking life. He was already suspicious of my loyalties. He ordered me to kill the man or be punished myself."

Seda could do nothing but stare at him now, feeling her eyes sting as she tried not to blink, fearful something would happen if she did. His words were hitting her like heavy boulders, each one getting heavier. Even the very breaths she took seemed too loud anymore, the silence in the room besides his voice was unnatural.

"The man," he let out a breath he had been holding for a long time. "He was being tortured to the very last breath of his life. As I watched him writhe on the ground, I considered killing him, for his own mercy. He confessed to me that he had a wife, and he could think of nothing more then her own protection, even in the last minutes of his life. He wanted me to swear to him that no one would harm her. Why he pleaded to me, I have no idea."

Severus rubbed his forehead with his fingers, trying to push out the memories it seemed. Seda could only watch him, still not able to understand why he was telling her this. She knew he was a Death Eater all ready, that he lived his life as a spy, and for the most part did what he had to for his own survival. She knew he was dark, but she never considered that he killed someone.

"Severus, I-" she took a breath, "I know it must have been a difficult-"

"You don't understand, Miss Wood." He was avoiding her eyes again. "His wife was found." He pressed harder into his forehead, taking another breath. "He was forced to watch as his wife and unborn child were manhandled until he saw no more. I had put off killing him for so long that Lucius finally stepped in and did it. He was delighted to kill what he thought was vermin."

Her eyes were no longer stinging from trying not to blink; she could actually feel tears well up in the corners. She took a raspy breath, trying to find her voice.

"She was pregnant?" she asked horrified. Horrible images played in her mind. So horrible she had to shake her head.

He looked up at her very strangely for a moment, as if he was seeing her for the first time, but then he looked away. It seemed like forever until he spoke again.

"The woman… she was tortured just like her husband, though it seemed more gruesome simply because she was pregnant. It made the Dark Lord all the more delighted, however, for it was the killing off of more filth in his eyes." His fist clenched momentarily but then it was relaxed once more. "Before they could kill the woman, I stunned her, making her appear as though she were dead. When they thought she was finished I was ordered along with another Death Eater to dispose of the bodies killed that night. Fortunately, I was able to mislead the other Death Eater, and I was left alone with the woman for a few minutes. When I revived her she was near death."

The silence in the room every time he paused was unnatural. It was as though time had stopped completely and the world had stopped turning, leaving time to be frozen in silence. It gave her chills.

"The woman was so desperately clinging to life she tried to speak to me, but it was nothing I could understand. She was already losing her mind from the affects of the curses. The shock had also sent her into labor, and even though she could not understand it, she was undoubtedly going to have her child very soon. I did the only thing I could; I transported her to a muggle hospital for her protection. That was the last time I saw the woman, and I never heard about her again. I didn't even know if the child had survived."

She had never heard him talk so much before. It was just odd; it was so unlike him to talk so openly, so personally.

"The man's name, which I learned recently, was Grimshaw Paddock. His wife was Vespera, though she told me her name within those few minutes we were alone. I had forgotten her name, or that she told it to me, until shortly before I learned her husband's name. The minutes I spent with her were a blur in my mind, almost as though I hardly remember it at all, or if it ever really happened." His voice trailed off like a whisper.

"Why did you need to see Lucius Malfoy then?" Her voice stung the silence like a bee sting, coming out of nowhere.

"Lucius Malfoy is the one… who killed your father."

"What?" she said robotically, as if the words hadn't processed in her brain yet.

"Grimshaw Paddock was your father and… Vespera… she was your mother." He spoke again as if he had no control over what he was saying, as if it was just programmed in his mind to say these things.

"No… you're-"

"Why would I lie to you about this?" he spoke still as if there was no emotion in him what so ever. He was just empty, not even a snarl in his voice.

"Stop it," she hissed. She did not like the way he was acting.

"I explained to Dumbledore when I got back this afternoon, and he is the one who confirmed they were your real parents. This is not a tall tale, Miss Wood."

Seda shook her head slowly. "No," she whispered in disbelief. She had to have misunderstood something. It was too bizarre and too illogical to make sense.

"Your mother vanished after you were born. There was no record of her. That is why you were missing all these years."

"I… there must be some mistake. That can't be true," she said, still in disbelief. She wasn't sure if she wanted to scream or not.

"It's your choice whether you want to believe it or not," he said and for the first time there was a hiss in his voice again.

She stiffened and sat straighter. "Do you mean to tell me that my _real_ father was a Death Eater and my _real _mother simply disappeared after being tortured to death?" Her chest was rising and falling as her temper rose, like a bull ready to charge.

"Yes," he said simply. He was still not looking at her. He found it too difficult. He could feel the pain on her face with out even having to look at her.

Her jaw clenched as she held back the stinging in her eyes. The stretched feeling in her chest was ready to snap.

"You," she gulped for air and then slid to the edge of the bed, grasping the blankets in her fist for support. "You," she was hissing at him. "You almost killed my father and then you let him die? In front of my mother?" Her voice was colder than his ever was. When he didn't look at her she got angry. She stood up next to him and towered over his body.

"You let her suffer? You let her SUFFER!" Her emotions took over and she shoved him in his chair, feeling angrier than she ever had.

He was like a rock though, as if he was expecting that. He just sat there and looked away from her, letting her vent her emotions. She was a Gryffindor after all.

When he didn't move she pushed him again, and again, until he finally stood up and looked down at her, his face still empty except for concern. She walked up to him and pushed him again, she didn't know what to do. It made her even angrier that he didn't stop her; he just let her hit and shove him.

She pushed him hard in the chest again until she stumbled backwards, walking away from him. "Get out," she hissed at him like an angry snake. "Get… out," she said again in a low dangerous voice, pointing at the door. He only walked towards her more. "Get out! GET… OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" she screamed at him, feeling her face heat up.

He still walked forward, inches from her body, close enough to see her shaking with rage.

"Get out," she said weakly. She closed her eyes and shook her head, her voice finally cracking. "Get out… get… out," her words became mumbles. Her knees buckled beneath her and she fell to the floor, bringing her hands up to her face and hiding behind them.

He stood over her, not knowing what he should do. He could leave her on the floor and let her wallow in her self pity, or he could watch her and feel every bit of her pain, knowing it was his fault. He knew she was still weak. He was torn.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she kept repeating, pushing her hands into her face.

He was surprised slightly. Why was she apologizing?

She kept repeating, "I'm sorry," at least a dozen times before he dropped to his knees and kneeled before her. He pulled her hands away from her face and held them until she looked at him. Her eyes were red and swollen. He watched as a tear fell down her cheek and then he caught it with his thumb and brushed it away. He looked at her again, staring deep into her eyes and unable to look anywhere else.

"Don't apologize," he said finally.

"I'm sorry," she said again. "I just don't… if it wasn't for… you're the reason I'm… I just don't know… I'm sorry!" She dropped her chin to her chest as her tears fell silently, trying to hide the shame on her face.

"You are not the one who should be apologizing," he said, taking her face in his hands, trying to see into her eyes.

She had no words to speak anymore. She simply did not know what to say, or feel. Everything she just heard hit her like a boulder, and the last part pushed her off the cliff. She could barely even think straight.

"Il vostro dolore è mio," he whispered into her ear. It made her cry aloud.

She felt guilty and pathetic at the same time. Never, in all her life, had che cried as much as she did since she started school there. She was lucky if she cried maybe once a year before then. Ever since the dreams took hold of her she felt she had no control over her emotions anymore. She hated crying, she despised it, yet she couldn't help it. She felt crying made her weak. She just couldn't describe it.

"You are not weak," he said, as if he read her thoughts. She still would not look at him.

"I don't want to think about this… not right now. Please… make me forget… take me away from it… please…" she tried to say, sniffing and breathing fast.

"I can't make it go away," he said, feeling guilty that he caused this. "You have every right to hate me, I cannot stop you."

She shook her head, feeling dumber by the second. "I… can't… don't hate you… I don't hate you," she blubbered.

He swallowed hard, finding it difficult to breathe properly. He couldn't understand what was going on in her head. She said she didn't hate him yet she's crying because of him.

"I should… hate you… but I can't. I," she tried to breathe.

"Don't say it," he said. He couldn't bear to hear those words. He didn't deserve them.

"No… S- Severus…" she muttered.

His chest tightened, preparing to tell her to stop, but it was too late.

"I love you," she said hardly above a whisper over her tears.

When he heard her say it his heart dropped into his stomach. He felt paralyzed, unable to even think. "You don't know what you're saying," he said bitterly.

"Yes I do… I can't hate you… I- I love you. I love you too much." She finally looked up at him and they saw into each other's eyes.

"You shouldn't," he said as he narrowed his eyes, feeling like he was hovering.

"Please, Severus… I can't deny it any more. I know it's wrong but…"

"I don't know how to love you," he said almost too stunned to even speak.

"I don't care," she said in hardly another whisper, pressing her hands over his.

He wiped the tears from her face again, letting his thumbs rub against her soft skin.

"Please… I don't want to think about anything right now… I can't handle it… I can't take anymore." It was true, she had heard more than enough. As much as she needed to know, she didn't want to deal with it then. She couldn't. Her mind was shattered.

"What do you want?" he asked, not understanding what she wanted at all.

She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them they were not only full of desire but also something beyond that. It was the way she looked at only him, her eyes shining, beckoning him into her essence.

"I want you," she said honestly.

They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. She couldn't take it anymore. She felt like the world was going to collapse.

"Oh God, Severus… I want you," she said desperately as she fell into his body, throwing her arms around him as if he was going to leave her.

"How can you after what I've done?" he said softly as he stared at the top of her head.

"It's not your fault… I know it. I shouldn't have screamed at you, I just… I can't control my emotions anymore…I was so angry at everything…" she muttered into his chest. "I love you… I've loved you for so long…"

The emotion was overwhelming for him. His body still felt like it was hovering away from him. It was another one of those moments where she made him lack control, unable to process his mind.

"We've hardly known each other… but I feel like… I feel like I've known you all my life… I don't know how to describe it." She tightened her arms around his neck, feeling like she was crumbling to pieces.

"Seda…" He couldn't think of anything else to say. He didn't _know_ what else to say.

He ran his hands through her hair until they stopped at her neck. Then he pulled her head away from his chest so he could look at her.

"Seda… I don't know how to love you," he repeated. "I can't give you what you want," he spoke truthfully. She could see it in his eyes, how painful they looked.

"All I need is you, nothing more." Her voice was so soft, so delicate, yet still muffled by her fading cries.

He stared at her again, feeling like that was all he could do for now. He stroked her neck with his fingers, feeling his heart beat faster and faster. Finally he kissed her head, breathing in the scent of her hair before he looked back at her.

"I can't," he said quietly, looking at her deeply.

When she lowered her brows in question he kissed her long and soft on her mouth, tasting her as if it were going to be the last time. He pulled away and looked at her seriously.

"I can't give you all of me… I'm sorry…"

He stood up and pulled her with him so they were both standing. He brushed his hand over her cheek one last time, seeing that pain come back in her eyes. Though she did not cry again, she did not even tear. Her eyes were blank and cold, as if she wasn't in her body at all.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. With a slight hesitation, he walked away.

She stared at the empty space for quite awhile, until she stumbled to her bed and fell against it. She slid to the floor and hunched over on her knees, pressing her hands to her heart, feeling it break for the first time. She didn't cry. She understood.

Severus entered the round room of the Headmaster's office, trying to rid of the emotions swimming inside him quickly. Dumbledore looked up and surveyed his young professor for a moment. Then a look of concern spread over his face, though it was subtle.

"Severus, you've told her I presume."

"Yes," his voice was distant.

"And she understood?" Dumbledore asked.

"I believe so," he replied, looking at Dumbledore blankly.

"Then that is all you can ask for. As long as she understands she will grow to accept it. It's going to take time, Severus. That's rather shocking news for one who has suffered so much all ready. You cannot blame her emotions right now."

"I don't, Headmaster."

Dumbledore studied Severus more closely. He knew he was disturbed by something, he expected it. He knew how Seda was going to react.

"I imagine she was quite angry with you," he drawled along, trying to make his Potions Master think.

"Quite," he replied, cocking his eyebrow for a moment. She was not only angry, he thought, she was an emotional wreck more like it.

"Quite expected, Severus, though I don't think she is as angry with you as you might think." Something amused him for a moment as he watched Snape.

"Possibly," he replied, having a completely different idea in his head.

"Severus… you did explain to her why this memory has been absent from you, did you not? You told her why you could not recall it when you first saw her last summer?"

Severus' eyes came back to life suddenly, and he looked at Dumbledore oddly.

"I wasn't able to get that far. There were… distractions." He thought about her confession and his body started to hover again.

Dumbledore nodded and said, "She needs to understand completely, Severus. I am certain she is all ready more than confused by her feelings as it is."

"Feelings, Headmaster?" Severus asked, almost innocently. It was an awkward moment.

"Ah, yes. She feels torn by her regards to you, undoubtedly. She has trusted you with her life so far, though now she feels confused by the situation of her birth parents, the truth that caused her life to be the way it is. In her mind she feels you are a hypocrite, a liar, untrustworthy… but in her heart is where her true feelings lie. The heart is stronger than the mind, Severus. You know that."

"What are you suggesting?" he asked, almost bitterly.

"I may be old, but I know a wildly beating heart when I see one." He said this almost right out of the blue.

Severus had to hold his expression of surprise within himself, difficultly.

"I believe you are mistaken, Headmaster."

"Believe what you wish, but you cannot deny how she feels. I've seen it in her mind, Severus, it is written all over her face. She hides it well sometimes, clever girl, but I am too wise not to see it." Dumbledore was smiling softly, annoyingly.

"Headmaster?" Snape was trying to ignore everything, making it appear as though the old man was clearly insane.

"Oh Severus, my young friend, sometimes I worry you block things from your mind too well. You start to believe what ever it is you feign."

"I believe you are mistaken," he repeated stiffly.

"What? You don't think that I know? Come now, Severus, I've known, possibly longer than you have." He chuckled, which only annoyed Snape more.

"What is it that you know?" he said, narrowing his eyes at the old smugger.

"She's in love with you." He said it almost too comfortably, which made Snape feel very uncomfortable, extremely uncomfortable. So uncomfortable he felt his palms sweat, which was highly unusual for him. The situation was not going well. Of all the ironic things to happen, this topped the list in his mind.

Snape could only look at Dumbledore dumbfounded, though he didn't show his expression on the outside. He feared if he spoke it would all spill out.

"I cannot say that it is entirely appropriate, considering the status of your affiliation is solely teacher and pupil. However," he smiled softly, "it would also be entirely ignorant of me to disregard that love works in peculiar ways. I have no power over fate, as much as I might try to intervene." He chuckled again.

Snape began to notice that the room was starting to feel very hot and stuffy, and his collar was beginning to feel a bit too tight. There were no words to begin describing how uncomfortable he felt with this entire situation. What was he to do?

He opened his mouth to issue a lethal remark, but then he thought that was a bad idea, so he closed it. Though a good sly remark might shut the old man up, he thought, so he opened his mouth again to reply. Just as he was about to speak he thought better of it again, and closed his mouth. As a result, he looked like an overgrown black gaping fish.

Dumbledore smiled smugly at his speechless Potions Master. He would have to write down this highly amusing moment to remember for the rest of his days.

"I really do suggest you be on your guard however. Most people would not be too thrilled by the idea of a teacher-student relationship within these walls, although there is a slight exception when calling her a student. Not to mention your job would be at risk. I, of course, can do my best to navigate minds in other directions, though I'm confident in your abilities to conceal unwanted announcements." Dumbledore looked at Snape over his glasses, giving him that all-knowing look he used much too often.

Snape opened his mouth again and paused before he spoke. "You cannot be serious, Headmaster. You are encouraging this inappropriate conduct?" He looked appalled. He began to wonder how much Dumbledore really did know.

"Encouraging? Oh, no, no… not encouraging… ah, consoling more like it." He was absolutely beaming on the inside.

Snape inclined his head, trying to ignore this ridiculousness, which in his soul he knew was for his own good.

"I told you, Severus. As much as I try to intervene, I have no control over fate. It seems as though you are stuck, whether you like it or not. Now do yourself a favor, and listen to more than that infiltrating mind for once."

Dumbledore was a very lucky man at that moment, for if he were anyone else he would have been cursed to the moon and back, and then poisoned and left to die a miserable death.

"I believe you have had one too many lemon drops, Headmaster." He looked at him with daggers flying out his eyes.

Dumbledore only smiled and waved his hand, as if this was nothing but a good row of fun. "That's very likely, Severus, thank you for your concern."

"I have work to do," Snape muttered somewhat. He nodded curtly at the Headmaster and left with a sharp snap of his robes.

On his way back to his office, Snape thanked Merlin that the air was cooler down there, or he might have exploded. With everything that just happened he was still at a loss for words. Dumbledore's behavior was extremely unexpected, and if Snape didn't know better, he would have thought it was his mind hallucinating before him. Snape cursed the old man in his head, wishing for once he'd just stop intervening, like he claimed. He was going to have a strong drink when he got to his office, and nothing else would do.

* * *

**A/N:** _By now you will all be wondering what drug I was on while I wrote this, but I can assure you it was an all-natural substance... my brain. HAHA! Anyway, I thought I'd just explain something. The beginning was obviously very dramatic, which was very much intended, as it's a huge turning point in the story. I was starting to feel bad for caking up so much drama, so I decided we needed some good old light-heartedness! Enter the Headmaster! As you can see, Dumbledore knows too much for his own good sometimes, though I confess it is rather amusing to write. I hope you enjoyed it! Snape needed a good kick in the arse if you ask me. He's so stubborn sometimes! He'll learn, eventually. _"_Il vostro dolore è mio_," means, "_Your pain is mine_." Just thought I'd tell you that in case you didn't know. 


	58. Moonlit Rendezvous

A/N: Well I hope you enjoyed that last chapter. By now you will have realized it was a turning point in the story, a twist you might say. No, it was not just random either; it has been planned since before I wrote the first chapter. Anyway, the story will be picking up the pace rather quickly now, since a lot of things will start to be revealed after this turning point. I hope you like this next one, Toodles!

* * *

She opened her eyes and a small light floated before her, like a tiny orb full of radiant dewdrops. Something about it was very peaceful. It started to move so she followed it, not bothering to think twice. Everything besides this orb of light was cloudy, which only increased her desire to follow it more.

She had no idea how long she followed it, she didn't even know where she was going, and she just followed, as if it were telling her to. She couldn't recall any of the steps she took, or turns she made, or anything she did, none of it mattered. She couldn't even feel the cool air on her face, or the cold stone floor beneath her feet. Her mind was completely oblivious to everything besides this light.

Soon the light was fading and she stopped where she was. She didn't know what to do except watch as it faded into the air, becoming nothing in a matter of minutes. Not realizing she was still in a dream-like stage, she just continued to stand where she was, staring blankly at nothing but the black room before her.

She wasn't even startled when a hand reached out for her, taking hold of her arm gently until it slid into her hand. It wrapped around hers perfectly, like a glove. She could not feel the warmth it produced, or the smoothness of the skin. It simply wrapped around her, letting its presence be known.

"Seda…" a voice came softly somewhere. "Seda…" it repeated. "Seda…" it became a bit louder, a bit closer. "Seda?" The voice was very familiar.

She finally realized she wasn't dreaming anymore, and she noticed how dark the room was, and how warm the hand was around hers. She felt dizzy for a moment as if she had just spun around, and then she looked down.

"Severus?" she asked innocently.

"How did you get in here?" he asked, very confused.

"I… what?" she asked even more confused. "Where am I?" She couldn't see anything but a sliver of his face illuminated by the moonlight.

"You're in my bedroom," he said simply.

"What?" she asked again.

"I dreamed you were here, and then I felt your hand in mine." He sounded just as out of it as she was, just waking up himself.

"What did you dream about?" she asked, lost in a thought.

"I don't remember, except…" his voice wandered.

"A light?"

"Yes," he answered slowly.

"So did I," she said in wonder.

It was so quiet they could hear their own heartbeats. Neither moved or said anything until he brushed his fingers over her hand, and she squeezed it a little tighter.

"Severus," she started nervously.

"Sit down, Seda," he said gently, and he pulled on her hand slightly so she could sit on his bed. As she sat down he sat up, so they were level to each other. She could see most of his face now, and he could see hers too. Each of them had a look of complete amazement on their face, looking at each other as if they couldn't believe the other was really there.

"Severus…" she began as she brought her hand up to his face, still not believing he was there. He put his hand over hers and lowered it to his chest, pressing it to his heart. She could feel it beating, thumping, proving he was not just a dream.

"I'm here," he whispered. Before he could think another thought, he leaned into her body and kissed her, taking her lips in his as smoothly as he could.

As he closed the distance between them, her hand stayed pressed against his heart, feeling it beat still as she responded to his mouth. She parted her lips against his, letting their tongues dance in a delicate rhythm. When the kiss stopped they were leaning forehead to forehead, rubbing their nose against the other, trying to feel some lost emotion as it swam in their chests, fighting to get out.

The only sound for a while was breathing. Their warm breaths on the others mouth reassured they were there. Part of them knew why this happened, though they just couldn't piece it together. So they remained breathing into each other, their faces touching, and the simplicity of it making it more sensual than anything.

She took her free hand and found his free hand too, and then she brought it up to her heart and held it there, like he was doing with hers.

"Do you feel it," she asked softly into his mouth.

"Yes," he answered just as soft.

"It only beats this way when I'm with you." Her voice was but a whisper.

He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent as he did, trying to steady the wild pacing in his chest. He knew she was sincere; she held nothing back when it came to him. The only word he could think of to describe it was flattering, still too stunned to think straight.

"As does mine," he said back to her finally, watching her eyes sparkle at him in the moonlight, the way they only sparkled when she looked at _him_.

"I don't care if you don't know how to love me… what I have now is enough."

"Seda, I-"

"Severus, please… why can't I be with you?"

Their voices were still soft and gentle, hardly whispers in the night.

After a long pause he admitted, "I don't want to hurt you," squeezing her hand a bit tighter. He couldn't believe he was saying this.

"You won't." She reassured him, also squeezing his hand.

"There is so much you don't know, that you'll never be able to understand."

"None of it matters. Who you are now is what matters… the man whose heart beat is throbbing sporadically… like mine." She smiled into his mouth, feeling silly for some reason. She almost had the urge to laugh but she didn't. Instead she chewed on his bottom lip, eliciting a quiet moan from his throat.

"I know it pains you… to hear it… but I love you." She couldn't help but say it, and then she kissed him so he couldn't speak. "Can't you feel how my heart leaps?" She kissed him again, not allowing him a moment to even breathe. "I trust you with all my heart… my life… I need you to know that."

Snape closed his eyes, feeling his breath come short as the feeling in his chest flapped like wild birds, feeling warmth spread through out his body.

She could feel his uneasiness, the way he breathed when he couldn't control himself. To make it worse she readjusted so she was sitting in his lap, her legs wrapped around him and tied behind his back. She clasped her hands around his neck, stroking the skin around his ears and at the back of his skull.

"You don't have to say it… I can already feel it… just…" she searched his eyes for something as she breathed. "Just let me feel this way… always… when I'm with you." She didn't know how to say what she felt so she did the best she could.

Not being able to speak anymore, he used his body to communicate. He slipped his fingers under her shirt and in a moment he was pulling it off, letting it fall from his fingertips as he kissed her neck.

She followed and pulled off his nightshirt, revealing his completely bare body and the mark cut across his chest. She ran her fingers across the reddened skin, tracing the long line until it ended. Then she looked up at him from underneath her eyelashes, so many questions in her mind.

He kissed her again before she could say another word, and as they remained locked in their kiss she managed to remove the rest of her clothing. She wrapped her legs around him once more, bringing them closer together. She kissed up to his ear and then she spoke gently, "let me be yours."

He closed his eyes from the overwhelming feeling she was giving him, it was just her words that did it. He wanted her to be his. He knew from the way her forehead fell against his shoulder, the way she sucked in the air when he eased into her, that she _was_ his. They both knew it. It was beyond a fulfilling of lust now; it was a hearts fulfillment then on.

They rested forehead to forehead again, panting heavily as they floated back to earth. He finally fell back against the bed, and she layed on top of him. As he brushed his hand through her hair, he looked at her deeply, the way he always did when he tried to see into her soul. He could see nothing but the love in her eyes as she looked back at him.

They remained looking at one another for quite some time, until they both rolled to face each other, chest to chest, hand in hand.

"What happened to me… when I was outside? I can't even begin to explain how it felt." She spoke to the silence finally.

"I believe it was a shield, protecting you in a way, though harming you at the same time."

"Protecting me from what?"

"That is what no one understands. It didn't seem as though you were in any danger at all."

"But what about that shadow I saw. Hermione saw it too. It reminded me of that shadow in my dream. It felt so… I don't know." She gasped.

"I believe it was that shadow that produced the shield. How, I do not know."

"Why? Please tell me my dream isn't becoming real. It feels real enough as it is when I'm asleep."

"I don't think it's possible for substances from a dream to be present outside of a dream. What we dream is in our minds, and obviously you were not hallucinating because some one else saw what you did."

"So what does this mean? Does that mean my dream isn't a dream at all? Or was it something else that we saw?"

"I honestly do not know."

She swallowed hard, trying to think of what all this could mean. The only thing keeping her sane was how he stroked her hand with his fingers.

"You knew something would happen." She said calmly.

"I had a suspicion, yes. I wouldn't have left if it weren't for my urgency to see Lucius. My suspicions led me to believe that was the only way I'd find an answer."

"I understand," she said, offering a faint smile. "Severus… why… I don't really understand how…" she couldn't seem to word it properly.

"You want to know why I didn't see the connection to your parents sooner," he finished for her. He knew she would ask at some point, having not told her before.

"Yes," she answered, slightly in awe how he could read her thoughts at times.

"To put it simply, I had forgotten about that memory." He could all ready see the questions in her mind. "There are a lot of memories I pushed away, Seda, most of them having to do with my time as a Death Eater. As you have all ready assumed, the situation with your parents was not the first time something like that happened. It was our job to torture people until they gave us the information we needed, and the easiest way to go about it was to sever all emotional ties. Soon, it just became natural after doing it so many times. I learned to put it behind me, not letting it haunt me or else I would have been suspected of my loyalties much sooner."

A look of bitterness came over his face again, like it had before. She wanted him to know she did not blame him for what he had to do, so she kissed him before he could think again. When she pulled away he looked at her somewhat relieved.

"I don't blame my parent's death on you, Severus. I know you are not the cause." She took a wavering breath, looking at him ever deeper. "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even be alive," she spoke in a stern whisper, wanting him to realize.

"I still cannot make up for all that I've done," he said, wanting to feel guilt free, but he knew his guilt would last with him forever.

"No, you may not be able to, but you have suffered for it long enough. I see the pain on your face, and it makes my heart shatter, knowing what ever I do I cannot bring you that relief, that freedom."

Her eyes watered as the silence took over. He simply had no words to speak again, but he knew she understood.

"Do you even… I know it's hard but… do you remember what she looked like?" Her voice cracked. She brought her hand to her eyes and wiped her tears away, sniffing as she did. She wasn't exactly crying, just tearing over the emotions.

He swallowed hard, bringing his hand to her face and brushing his knuckles against her cheek. He didn't realize the memory of her real mother might draw out buried emotions, but he could understand why it would be painful.

He traced his thumb over her closed eyelid, catching a tear as he did. "She had green eyes is what I remember most. Only a memory of the way she looked at me when she asked me to save you." His voice was soft, but not quite a whisper. The memory played in his mind, and he came back to reality when he saw Seda's lip tremble, fighting as hard as she could not to let out her sorrow.

"Do you think she… did she ever get to see me?" She breathed deeply, feeling his thumb roam across her eyelid delicately.

"I don't know, Seda, though I wish I could tell you," he answered honestly.

She nodded as the tears still rolled down her face. She swallowed, trying to calm her self as she let his touch consume her senses. "You did save me," she whispered, wiping the last of her tears before she opened her eyes. "Thank you." She gave a watery smile.

No matter what she always found a way to reel him in more, just when he thought he couldn't be caught up in her anymore. She weaved her way through his mind first, and then, finally, she settled in his heart. For the very first time since he could remember, he let his mouth contort into a very faint smile, a real smile and not a smirk. It was small, maybe unnoticed by anyone else, but it was there, and his eyes confirmed it.

He kissed her quickly before the moment passed, wanting to delve deeper into the feeling she just offered. Another heartbeat later he was on top of her, pushing into her, making love to her for the second time, the second time in their lives for either of them.

The next day she sent a letter with Aura to Hermione, telling her she was all right. She asked about Madison, wanting to know if she had been hurt at all. Hermione sent a reply not more than an hour later. Seda's poor little owl was exhausted, having barely got any rest. She petted her little beak though and the owl hooted in gratitude.

In Hermione's reply she mentioned that Madison was fine, she wasn't injured, but she was very concerned about Seda. Well, concerned in a two year old kind of way. She would demand to know where she was and why they didn't finish their snowman. Seda laughed, feeling a bit relieved at the light heartedness.

Seda's classes and private lessons continued at full speed, hardly giving her time to think about anything else. She had one more dream session with Snape and Hermione the first weekend of February, but surprisingly, nothing out of the ordinary happened. It was almost disappointing. Hermione constantly informed Seda of all the progress she was making on her research of old curses though, trying to keep her spirits up as it seemed nothing was happening, which could either be a good thing or a bad thing.

The only really good thing Seda could think of was the nights she spent with Snape on the weekends. They hadn't been intimate since that one night, but their weekend nights together consisted of her private lessons, or sometimes they would just talk. They found it slightly easier to talk to each other since their understanding that one night. It could have gone terribly wrong, but it only drew them closer, wanting to be around the other as much as possible. They knew it was too risky to be intimate so often, as it created a desire for more, so they kept themselves under control, finding other things to distract them.

It was odd though, because she didn't long for the intimacy as much as she thought she might. Thinking about him sometimes would satisfy her, and even when they had minor disagreements she still found it to be satisfying. All he had to do was look at her in that way, and she felt just as fulfilled as she did that night, with out him even having to touch her. She knew it was the same for him, though he never admitted it.

Valentine's Day was approaching, come Monday. She had been wondering if she should do something, just because it was _Valentine's Day _and the mush was always heightened around that time. She didn't particularly care for the day; it was just like any other. It only seemed important because of the over-excitement people displayed. It kind of made her sick. She loved romance, but sometimes it became too cheesy for her taste.

She didn't expect Snape to do anything, simply because he was not that kind of man. She didn't care though, it added to the mystery of being in love with such a man. His romance came in the way he touched her on accident, the way his eyes would linger on her when she walked away, or even the way he talked in his sarcastic velvety voice. Her toes curled every time she thought about it, and she couldn't help but smile, no matter where she was. She was content just knowing he cared about her more than any one else.

She sat in the library trying to research her Transfiguration homework, staring at the books with all her might. Normally she would have no problem studying in the library, except now she was anything but alone. Several girls would walk by her table, sometimes giggling or whispering. She knew they had to be second or third years because they didn't look very old. It finally persisted for over an hour and she put her quill down and closed her book with a snap, not being able to ignore it anymore.

"Can I help you with something, girls?" Seda tried to ask politely, folding her hands on top of the table.

"Err, uh," one of the girls stuttered, looking at her friends for help.

"N-no… it's nothing," another girl piped up.

"I'll be more than glad to help you with something, but if it's nothing then I need to ask you to please wander somewhere else." She continued to look at them with a forced smile on her face. She wasn't trying to be rude, but it was rather annoying.

They talked quietly amongst themselves for a moment and then they turned back to look at her. The second girl spoke up again.

"Um, could you do us a favor right quick?" She seemed a bit hesitant.

"Like what?" Seda asked, inclining her chin a bit.

The girl bent over the table so she was able to whisper. When she finished explaining what it was they were doing, Seda looked up at them and grinned.

"You girls are quite devious. Are you sure you want me to do that?" She asked.

"If you want to, but it would help us out terribly. You know, woman to woman?"

"Right, woman to woman. Make sure they don't see you though." She smiled at them before she got up.

She walked around the corner of study area she was in, across the main section of the library, and then over to another study area. There was a particular group of boys at a certain table that she had plans to disrupt momentarily. Getting herself in the mood, she fluffed up her hair and adjusted her sweater so everything was just right. She strolled up to the table of young Gryffindor boys and cleared her throat.

"Hello, boys. Do you mind if I bother you for a minute?" She smiled as innocently as she could, making sure to look at each one.

Just as she expected, they gawked at her. She grinned on the inside. Boys were so predictable, and she had to fight not to laugh. She looked down at one of the books laid out before a boy near her, and then she let her acting begin.

"Oh, what's this?" She flipped the cover up so she could see the title. "Magical Properties in Potion Making? I love Potions, it's my favorite subject." She made sure to exaggerate on her syllables, sounding more flirtatious than anything.

"Errr, d-do you?" The boy looked up at her, turning a slight pink. The other boys were frozen in their seats.

"Oh yes, it's so fascinating. Do you mind if I sit down?" She had to bite her lip to keep from cracking up as their eyes all popped out of their heads.

The two boys closest to her immediately cleared a spot for her at the table, and then she sat down. They all looked at each other in disbelief, not sure what to do next. She looked around at them all, knowing they weren't going to talk.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to bite," she said, and playfully tapped one of them on the arm. She kept up the small talk for a few minutes, mostly being the only one to talk at all.

"Oh wow, that is a really nice pin you've got there. I've never seen anything like it." She narrowed in her interest on the pins some of them had on their bags. They represented some type of club apparently. "I've been trying to find something like this. Do you think I could borrow it?" She asked, making sure to rub her arm against the one next to hers.

"Oh, yeah, sure thing." One of them answered, fumbling to take it off. He handed it to her with a shaking hand and said, "Actually, you can keep it, I've got loads more."

She gave him a quirky smile. "Oh, do you? Well that is so nice of you." She beamed at him. "Well, I have to finish studying. Thanks for the chat, boys."

After she stood up and walked a few steps, she stopped and turned back, going in for the kill. She placed her hands on the edge of the table and bent low so she could drop her voice to a whisper.

"And just so you know, I keep my lingerie in a chest sealed with a charm only I can open. If anyone else tries to open it their assets would be shriveled to nothingness. So if you ever plan to steal one of my brazirres I suggest you ask me first. Good night!" She gave them a very sweet smile and patted one of the boys on the head. Then she flounced away, ready to burst into laughter.

When she got back to her table the girls came running from around the corner, laughing and unable to hold themselves up.

"Ah, you were brilliant! Excellent show! That was great!" They all started to cheer at once, and then they tried to contain themselves.

"Yes, well thanks for the tip-off about my future lingerie thiefs. I'll definitely have to get one of the chests I mentioned." She couldn't help but laugh. How typical was it for a boy to dream about getting their hands on an older girl's undergarments?

"They've been planning it for awhile, lucky we caught them."

"Hmm… have they now? Well, here's the pin you wanted. That wasn't hard to get at all. What do you need it for anyway?"

"Oh, we've been trying to get a hold of one ever since they started this stupid club. We want to recharm it so it says something more… amusing." She laughed.

"Well you have fun with that, just don't get into any trouble. If you need something, don't be afraid to ask next time."

They thanked her again and she could still hear them laughing around the corner as they went. She missed being at that age; it made her feel old now. She laughed to her self for a little while as she tried to keep studying. She continued to pour over the books until the library was closing, and then she packed up her things and walked down the dimly lit corridors to her rooms.

She was about to turn the corner when something grabbed her by the arm. She shrieked in surprise as she was pulled into a hidden corridor. She tried to turn around to see who her abductor was but it was so dark.

"All right, who's there?" She demanded firmly. She reached for her wand and started to say, "Lu-" when she was taken by surprise. Someone kissed her and she recognized the scent right away. She pulled away and said, "Severus! What are you doing?"

"Ah, so you did know who it was." His tone was perfectly calm as if he hadn't done anything wrong.

"Well… you scared me. Don't do that!" She tried to hit him but she missed, not being able to see in the dark. "Where are you?"

"Are you blind, Miss Wood?" His voice came from behind her now.

"It's kind of hard to see when it's pitch black, but, no, I'm not blind." She turned around to try and face him, but she couldn't see.

"You could try lighting your wand. That is rather useful." His voice had moved again.

"Yeah, I started to when I was interrupted by someone." She smiled into the black room, still trying to follow his voice.

"Are we going to stand here in the dark all night, Miss Wood?"

She rolled her eyes before she lit her wand, but she couldn't see him anywhere. She turned around in a circle and shrieked when he was nearly an inch from her.

"What's wrong with you? Stop scaring me, _Professor_!" She panted.

"I'm quite well, thank you. Though it is my job to intimidate you," he said and then he kissed her before she could answer.

Her brain went fuzzy for a moment from the kiss, but then she gathered her thoughts. "What are we doing in here anyway? And why exactly are you pursuing me this evening?"

"I would like for you to come with me," he said simply.

"Where?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Follow me." He turned and started to walk down the dark corridor, and then she ran to catch up, slipping her hand in his as she did, smiling to herself.

They walked in silence down the deserted corridor, down several flights of stairs, and finally out a door she had never seen before. They were somewhere outside the castle, but she didn't know where. They continued walking for what seemed like ten minutes until they came up over a small hill, past the boundaries of the castle grounds. There was some sort of stone moor standing in the middle of what seemed like a large garden if it were springtime. The large gazebo-like moor looked very inviting in the moonlight.

He walked down a path that led right into the moor, spinning her to face him when they stood in the middle. He leaned over and said into her ear, "would you care to dance?"

She looked up at him in surprise, and noticed he was all ready bowing to her. She didn't even have time to think before he pulled her into an elegant stance.

"I thought you didn't know how?" she asked. He only smirked at her before he began twirling her around, and then they were stepping and swaying in a sensual yet beautiful ballroom dance.

After several minutes they slowed down to a very light pace, barely moving except for their feet in small steps. She rested her cheek against his chest, one hand still in his and the other around his neck.

"I can't believe you lied to me, Severus." She smiled.

"I do not lie, I simply did not tell you the whole truth."

"Yes, well… same difference." She sighed. "You surprised me. I had no idea you were such a Valentine's Day romantic," she said sarcastically, laughing slightly.

"Ah, wrong again." When she looked up at him he continued. "You see, it is nearly midnight, so therefore it is not Valentine's Day." He looked extremely serious.

"Uh-huh," she smirked. "Still… I wasn't expecting... it's very romantic if you didn't know. Why didn't you tell me you could dance?"

"I don't like to publicize my abilities," he spun around in a circle, making her hair whip out behind her. Then he pulled her closer as they continued to move around slowly.

"You know, I'm not very fond of Valentine's Day. I think it's just another day to excite people for no reason." She admitted honestly.

"Precisely. That is why we are here now. At midnight I have every intention of putting an end to this moonlit frolic."

"And if I don't want to stop," she spoke seductively, looking at him with burning eyes.

"We shall see," he replied. In a moment they were swaying around the moor again, in a more upbeat pace. Every now and then he would grab her by the waist a bit tighter and pull her to him, nearly kissing her but not quite. They would look at each other intensely, then smirk at the other and continue dancing again. Finally at midnight he pulled her close once more, and he kissed her, leaving her breathless. Letting her eyes flutter open, he continued to guide her around, dancing their sensual dance.

If it was possible, she fell in love with him more.

* * *

A/N: Well, I'm sorry I couldn't have released this chapter back on Valentine's Day, but this will have to do. As you can see, things are moving along quite well. This chapter may seem somewhat misplaced, just because it seems so happy and cheesy after such drama, but I decided we needed more romance. This is a romance story after all. And yes, Snape has always been able to dance. How cunning of him.

I'd like to say thank you to **Karatecatgrl**, who helped me think of a devious little prank to pull over on those boys. That prank was originally supposed to be in the story much sooner, but I decided to hold off until Valentine's Day, just because boys get desperate then. Ah, I can't help but laugh about it. Until next time, Toodles!


	59. The Sanctuary Curse

**A/N:** It seems I'm starting to get back on a normal schedule once more, with writing that is. I'm trying to get these out as soon as possible, but I'm going as fast as I can type, check, edit, and publish. Anyways, I hope you are enjoying yourselves still. Toodles!

**EDIT!** I've just realized a mistake I made, it's nothing too major but something I'd like to point out. Seda is actually 21 in this story, not 20. I can't believe I miscalculated that. She was ending her sophomore year in college and turned 21 on her birthday in October, not 20. She is a month younger than Hermione, who is also 21. Sorry for the confusion. I must go run into a wall now like a house elf, excuse me.

* * *

She woke up Monday morning feeling anything but tired, even though she didn't get to bed until one in the morning. Her rendezvous with Snape was not only unexpected but also thoroughly romantic. She knew he could be in his own mysterious ways, but she hadn't thought of anything like that. It was a pleasant surprise to say the least. All they did was dance across the moor in the moonlight, feeling light and energized as they did. 

At one point she attempted to show him another kind of dance, but she couldn't contain her laughter every time he would get it wrong. It seemed so unlike him to do anything wrong that it amused her greatly. The best part of it was his kiss that was meant to shut her up. She smiled at the ceiling when she thought of it.

She stretched in her bed before she got up and practically skipped into the bathroom. She was just so happy that morning she couldn't explain it. She shrugged it off and looked at herself in the mirror.

"It looks like I'm not going to dread this day so much after all," she spoke to her reflection. "It's nice to have someone to love." As she looked at herself she couldn't help but grin. "Love-" she sighed. Then she snapped out of it and did a strange little victory dance before she pranced over to the shower.

Breakfast was going as it usually did: small conversations here and there with Lupin, a glance from Snape, the usual. She had to restrain herself from beaming, it would have looked extremely suspicious and, undoubtedly, Snape would whip her with his tongue for being so careless. She laughed to herself.

The post owls started to arrive and she thought nothing of it, since she hardly ever received mail in the mornings. She was brought to attention when an owl landed in front of her, holding a rose with a note attached to it. She looked around then took it from the owl before it flew off. She had barely opened the note when two more owls landed before her, also with flowers and a letter. Her mouth opened slightly.

She looked at Snape from the corner of her eye, but he was giving her the same kind of look. She turned back to the owls and tried to remove the deliveries until at least three more owls landed in front of her, trying to push the others away. Her jaw dropped in surprise. She didn't know what to do. The owls were flapping about so much that they were stepping all over hers, Lupin's and Snape's food, knocking over goblets too as they fought for first in line.

"Oh my god," she said in shock as a few more owls fluttered down before her.

"Quite popular this morning aren't you," Lupin said over the commotion.

"Can you help me," she said desperately, trying to still the owls. He laughed and started to help pull the letters and flowers off of the owls. When the owls had all gone away she looked bewildered, before her lay a pile of flowers, letters, and small packages.

"How many admirers do you have?" Lupin chuckled as he pointed at the pile with his fork. He found it quite amusing obviously.

"Uh, none," she said in shock, looking at everything slightly afraid.

"It doesn't look like it," the voice came from her right.

She turned to look at Snape who didn't look nearly as amused. She gave him a pitiful look, knowing he was probably feeling annoyed by the disruption. She turned back to the pile and didn't know where to start. She finally picked up a random letter and opened it. She laughed out loud and then she said, "awe."

It was a valentine from Madison, and by the looks of it, she tried to decorate it all by herself. There were funny little drawings all over it, which were supposed to be her and Madison. She could just make out the squashy little form of a snowman with sticks coming out of its head, or what she thought was the head. There were also a lot of scribbles, but she loved it. It made her heart melt.

She set it down and went to the next one. It was from a Gryffindor boy in her Transfiguration class. She went through several more that were from boys, or young men in various houses, and she just shook her head and tried not to laugh. Some of their attempts to woo her were nicely tried but comical at the same time.

She finally came to the last two. The first one was a letter from her parents, thanking her for her thoughtfulness and all that normal stuff parents write. The last one was actually the first one she received, but it was buried on the bottom of the pile. She pulled the note off the rose and as she read she closed her eyes and said, "oh goodness."

"Problems, Miss Wood?" Snape asked casually, as if he didn't notice anything.

"Um, no," she said a bit too enthusiastically.

"You're a bad liar, you know," he said as he sipped his juice.

"It's nothing," she responded irritated. She quickly rolled the letter back up. "I have to go put these away," she mumbled as she scooped up the pile and stuffed them into her bag.

When she got back to her rooms she pulled the letter out from her bag and plopped down on her bed. She reread it.

Seda,

I would first like to apologize for my behavior when I saw you last at Ron and Hermione's. You must understand I was just as surprised to see you, as I'm sure you were to me. I'm sorry if I offended you by my coldness, but seeing you again made me remember what I started to realize before.

As you know, I admitted that I felt something between us. I came to understand that you didn't feel the same way, and I accept that. The reason I came to this understanding is because I saw the way he looked at you during the convention, and I know exactly what he was feeling, well at least I think I do.

I lost to a former professor whom I have gradually come to respect. Yes, I know it was him you had feelings for all along, even though I cannot begin to wonder how. Forgive me; I've had a hard time accepting it. My past with this person is not exactly simple.

By now you are thinking how selfish I am acting, and I do not blame you if you think that. I know it has been very awkward between us, but I apologize again. I hope we can settle our differences and try to start over. I admit, I would really like to be your friend and I'm willing to earn your confidence once more.

Please accept this rose as a symbol of my friendship and apologies.

Signed, _Harry_

She stared at the letter for a minute or two before she sighed. He knew about her and Snape now, and she wasn't sure what to think of that. She felt bad that she led Harry to believe what he did between them, but then she couldn't blame herself for the male ego. She liked Harry very much, but only as a friend.

It was sort of shocking to be so new to their world, and hardly having spent any time in it have the boy who lived admire her. It was like a movie almost; she couldn't believe it was real at times. Then the sighed again and she thought it was better than having everyone hate her. She shrugged.

Harry,

I appreciate your courage for apologizing to me and offering to earn my friendship again. That was very sweet of you. However, as you mentioned, it has been very awkward between us. I'm positive that in time we will be good friends. Considering that Hermione is my only true friend here, I suppose it won't hurt to gain another one.

As for my feelings regarding the man you mentioned, well I will be honest with you about that too. I cannot deny that I have come to be extremely fond of him, in which this is actually an understatement. I understand your past with him maybe full of conflict. I don't want you to worry about me though. He cares about me very much and he would never do anything to hurt me in any way.

I must please ask you to keep this information to yourself however. Hermione knows, but no one else, and I beg you to please give me your word. I trust you with this information. Trust, a necessity between friends. Yes, I would like really like to start over again, and I'm hoping it goes in a better direction.

Thank you for your sincerity and I hope this letter will erase any of your doubts. Also, the white rose is beautiful and I accept.

Signed, _Seda_

She read the letter over again before she sent it off with Aura. Then she hurried out of the room and headed for class.

Through out the day she was nearly swamped by admirers, ones who sent her Valentines and others who didn't. Not all of them approached her, many would simply follow her around in hopes they would have enough courage to talk to her. She would just wave at them all or give a greeting or a thank you, and it seemed they were satisfied and left her alone. She endured this until after dinner when she found sanctuary in her rooms.

She was glad she got to have a decent time when she was with Snape the previous night. As flattering as it was to have all those petty young men chase after her, it didn't thrill her like it would most girls. She was content with having Snape, and having him all to her self was like a delicious treat.

She walked into the bedroom and heard a tapping on the window. She opened it and let Aura hop in. It was another letter from Harry.

Seda,

I'm happy you accept, and to tell the truth, quite relieved. Again, I am still very sorry for the way I treated you. You did not deserve that. It was just a shock to me I suppose, realizing that you felt so strongly for one I am still growing to get along with.

I hope my sudden confession on this day did not lead you to think I was trying to win you over. It was not my intention. I thought it seemed like a friendly gesture, and since we are on the road to becoming friends once more, I proceeded.

I am not sure if this was mentioned to you or not, but Ron's little sister, Ginny, is coming home for a spring holiday in two weeks from this weekend. Also, Ron's birthday is on the first of March and we decided to wait for Ginny to come home before we go out and celebrate. If you would like to come and join us, you are more than welcome. I'm sure Ginny would like to meet you again; she's mentioned you often.

Hope to see you soon.

Signed, _Harry_

She put the letter on her desk with all the others and then she did her work. She would write to Hermione in the morning.

The rest of the week went by particularly fast. Before she knew it, it was Friday. She was thankful because she was feeling extremely tired lately. She hadn't had any conflicts with the dream, but she felt burdened at times, as if she was dreading something.

When she got back to her rooms after dinner she collapsed onto the bad. She let out a huge puff of air and closed her eyes momentarily, just to rest. It seemed it was barely a minute when the fireplace roared into life on its own accord.

She sat up groggily and watched as the flames exploded in the hearth. "What now," she complained as she watched a parchment fly out and land on the coffee table. She walked over to it and mumbled, "I swear, if I get one more disturbance-" then she read the note.

There is an urgent matter. I expect you in my office immediately. Use the floo.

Signed, _S. Snape_

She had to read it over a few times before she took it in. It was rather odd to say the least.

"An urgent matter?" she questioned aloud. She looked down at her watch and noticed it was nearly midnight. Had she really been asleep that long? She couldn't believe it.

She stumbled into his office moments later and looked around. There was no one there.

"Professor?" she called out. There was no answer. She called out again but there was still no answer. "That's weird."

She sat down on one of the chairs across from his desk and waited. She had a strange feeling but she couldn't place it.

She had barely sat down for a minute when the fire roared with emerald flames. The dusty figure of Hermione walked out as she brushed the soot from her clothes.

"Hermione? What are you doing here?" Seda stood up.

"Oh, Seda. You're here, good." There was a strange look on her face. She sat down in one of the chairs, shaking slightly.

"What's wrong?" Seda was concerned now. She knew something didn't feel right.

"Where's Snape? Is he here yet?" Hermione asked, looking nervous.

"No, I don't know where he is. Is something wrong? Tell me," she said firmly, though she was getting nervous herself.

"I- we should wait for Snape." Her voice shook.

"Hermione, _what's wrong_?" she demanded, stressing each word. She knew something was really wrong. Hermione was never this shaken.

Hermione turned her head and looked at Seda very oddly, almost empty. Then her eyes dropped to look at the ring hanging around Seda's neck.

"It's about me. Isn't it-" she said in a flat tone. Hermione looked away from her, trying to calm herself down. Seda fell into the chair next to her, her mind racing in every direction.

A moment later the office door swung open and in walked Snape followed by Dumbledore. She started to stand up but Dumbledore put a hand on her shoulder and made her sit down. She looked up at him very worried. "Professor?" she asked quietly.

He didn't answer her. She looked around, and they were looking at her strangely. Something was terribly wrong. She could feel it.

"What's going on?" she asked, looking right at Snape. He just looked at her as if he, too, were empty. She was starting to get scared.

Dumbledore walked around Snape's desk so he was standing beside him. He looked at all of them then back at Seda. He looked at her for a very long moment before he spoke.

"Child, there is something you- I believe we may have found the cause of your dream," Dumbledore said, not looking too happy about it.

"Isn't that good," she said so slow it almost slurred.

"Yes, it is good, however there are complications." He seemed too calm for this.

"Complications?" she looked puzzled.

"I believe Hermione may be able to explain this better," he gestured to her.

Seda looked at Hermione after lingering on Dumbledore for a moment. "Hermione? What is he talking about?" she asked softly.

She took a deep breath, but she still would not look at Seda. "The dreams, as I mentioned before, are- they affect you because," she took another breath. "It's a curse and-"

"I know this all ready," she said impatiently.

"What we couldn't figure out is how the curse was placed on you and what it is exactly. I think we know what it is now. I- I found something," her voice sort of wandered off.

"I don't understand. What is it?" she asked again.

"Your mother, she- your birth mother is the one holding the curse," she blurted out finally.

Seda just stared at her as if she was mad or something. Her head dropped forward slightly in disbelief. "My birth mother is dead, Hermione."

"I know," she said apologetically. "I know she is but, I- I don't- there's no other way to explain it, Seda." She finally looked at Seda, looking very sorry.

"That's not possible. All curses are broken when someone dies, aren't they? She's dead, Hermione. That's why I was adopted." She was panting. She didn't mean to get snappy, but no one seemed to understand that she had no clue what was going on.

"Not all curses work that way, this one is… different," she answered simply.

"Why would my own mother do this to me? This doesn't make sense. What else aren't you telling me?" She tried to remain calm.

"I don't think it was meant to be a curse, to put it simply."

"To put it simply?" she mocked. "Hermione, none of this makes sense. Will someone please tell me what's going on?" She turned to look at Snape and Dumbledore.

"Miss Wood," Snape started. "I believe that your mother placed a charm to protect you, either before or after you were born. The problem is I don't think it worked the way she wanted. Read this passage," he said as he handed her a book.

It was the same book Hermione showed Snape before. As she read her eyes widened at first, then she narrowed them. She put the book back on his desk and looked up at him.

"A sanctuary charm? I've never heard of that before?" The look on her face proved that.

"It's a very, very old charm. It isn't very well known anymore either. It seems to have become rather unpopular since the charm started to fail and created a life of havoc for the person the charm was placed upon," Dumbledore said. "However, it can prove highly successful if, according to that passage, the beneficiary obtains the knowledge needed to survive."

"The knowledge to survive? Wait, how does the charm fail in the first place and what happens?"

"The charm can fail in many ways, hence its unpopularity and thus rarity. If a charm such as this fails to meet certain standards the opposite could take affect. Such as the curse now trapped within you." Dumbledore gestured to her.

"Ok, wait a minute," she shook her head. "I don't quite understand this. What knowledge am I supposed to gain that I haven't? That makes no sense. Why would that affect me?"

"We don't know exactly. The knowledge can come in any shape or form. That's the problem." Hermione answered.

"We are certain, however, that what ever you are supposed to realize is hinted at within your dream, which is why you keep having it." Snape continued.

"So all the answers are in this dream? And the curse is what caused these dreams in the first place?" Her face was full of disbelief.

"Yes, in a way. I don't think the key to this curse is necessarily only in your dream. It can be split up, depending on how strong the curse is to begin with." Snape added.

"But why would a charm turn into a curse anyways?" This she didn't understand.

"That ring," Hermione said. "It is the heart of the charm your mother placed on you."

"What?" Her brain was running into walls now.

"That ring- it was kept away from you for so long that when you finally had it on again the charm was almost completely volatile. Ever since you got that ring back you've been having these dreams." Snape added again.

"Then why can't we just destroy it?"

"I've told you before," Snape said. "If we destroy it, if it can be destroyed, your dreams will not stop. They'll get worse. The point of this ring originally was to protect you, to store the charm until its destiny was completed."

"So are you telling me," she had to take a breath, "that this ring is the cause of my suffering but without it I'll suffer more?" She had to have gotten it wrong.

"Yes," Snape answered unfortunately.

"Well isn't that the most ironic thing," she laughed nervously, in complete disbelief. "So now what, am I supposed to live like this for the rest of my life?"

No one answered. Hermione looked away and Snape blinked. Dumbledore was just watching her sadly.

"What?" she asked nervously. "What else aren't you telling me?"

"Do you remember what I mentioned before? About the dream, or curse rather, taking over your body?" Snape said slowly and very quietly.

"Yes," she swallowed. "I know, it will kill me in the end. I've thought about that a lot, and I really don't care to think about that right now." She looked away.

"Yes, but there's something else you don't know." His voice was very odd.

"Now what," she said regretfully, still not looking at anyone.

"The charm your mother used required two souls: one that is to be protected, and the other that is to guard. If the guardian dies the protection is lost. Though the guardian may sacrifice himself under the oath of love in order to break the curse."

"And who would be-" she started but she stopped when she looked at him.

"I believe there are a few things you two need to discuss," Dumbledore said. "Severus, the Pensieve will be waiting when you are ready."

Dumbledore left with Hermione, though she hardly noticed them leave until the door clicked shut. She stared at him, paralyzed and unable to think.

"Seda," he began but then he had to sit down. "I need you to listen to me."

"It's you. You're the guardian," she said in shock.

"Yes, but-" he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I need you to understand what I am about to tell you." She nodded at him but he said, "Give me your word."

"I promise I'll try," she said, not sure what she was promising.

"Very well," he replied. He rested his hands on the desk, almost nervously. "A guardian of this charm may start to suffer if the beneficiary is too weak, thus providing the protection it was sworn to give." He took a breath.

"Is that why I was feeling better for awhile? Are you suffering?" she said in disbelief.

"Yes."

"And the mark on your-"

"Yes," he answered quickly.

"Is it- please tell me you aren't-" she didn't have the heart to finish.

When he didn't answer she felt a pain in her heart that immediately dropped to the pit of her stomach.

"No," she whispered harshly, not wanting to believe this. "Please, God, no."

"It's all ready started." He looked away.

"How long have you known?" she breathed angrily. "How… _long_… _have you known_."

"I just learned of this today. I've had to do a lot of searching in my memories to find it, but… it is true. That is why I called you down at once."

It was silent for a moment. "Severus, please tell me this isn't happening." She had to continue swallowing to keep the sickly feeling out of her throat.

"I can't," he said quietly.

She gasped, taking in a huge gulp of air. "No," she gulped again. "No," she repeated. "God, no… please." Her chest was rising and falling heavily and then she dropped her head into her hands.

Snape stood up and walked around his desk, and then kneeling before her he rested his hands on either side of her head.

"I'm sworn to it. There is no stopping it, Seda. It is my job to protect you now, no matter what. You gave me your word." He grasped her head a bit tighter, from his own anger.

"Severus, no. I- this can't be happening. I'm not losing you." She spoke into her hands.

"There's nothing you can do. What's done is done. What ever happens happens."

"I'm not going to let you die because of me," she hissed.

"And I am not going to let you die because of _me_," he replied harshly.

"No, Severus. It's not fair. It's not fair! It shouldn't be this way!"

"You gave me your word. Look at me," he said in a low voice and she looked up at him. "You gave me your word," he repeated slowly, nodding her head in his hands.

"I said I'd try!" Her eyes watered but she refused to cry. "I said I'd… _try_." She was nearly breathless now, her heart beat racing at an abnormally fast past.

He could only search her eyes for a deeper emotion, meaning, and truth behind all this. Neither of them seemed to want to accept the fact that they were both dying because of each other. Something lurched in his chest then.

"This cannot be. This cannot be," she repeated until they both looked at each other desperately and leaned in to kiss at the exact same time. It was like a hunger, desperation, a need, a desire, and an apology all at once. Their mouths fought for contact as their tongues danced with each other. She slipped her hands around his neck, pulling him closer, as he slid his hands into her hair at the back of her skull.

They both managed to stand while they continued the heated and ravaging kiss until neither of them could breathe. When she pulled away from his mouth he wrapped his arms around her and pulled him to his body. They both felt like they were all ready losing the other, especially when she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, clinging to him with her hands.

The danced in a very small circle, only rocking side to side slightly and moving their feet in baby steps. The only sound was the fire in the hearth and her uneven breathing. Her tears stained his chest as they danced into the long hours of the night, neither wanting to let go. "I love you," she whispered often.

* * *

**A/N**: Ok, well as you notice, it's back to the drama (evil laugh). I mentioned before that this story was going to start picking up the pace after that minor twist. Also, some of you may have figured out a long time ago that Snape and Seda were connected by this curse, and not only was it affecting her, but him as well. It's hinted at a lot (more evil laughter). This curse is affecting them more than they know. Sorry to make it so gloomy, but that is what drama is all about. Toodles! 


	60. A Victim's Pain

A/N: Here we are again! I really hope you enjoyed that last one! I'm just going to hand over this next chapter, so here you go. I'm going to warn you now; this chapter was very emotional to write. I will not lie when I say I actually cried while I wrote this. Forgive me for being so sensitive. I should run into a wall again, excuse me. Toodles!

* * *

They danced silently until the late hours of the night, or rather the very early morning. Neither of them could let go of the other, in fear they would be taken away at that moment if they did. At some point he persuaded her to go to sleep, saying he wanted her beside him as they slept. She was so tired and so drained that she gave in, and the moment her head hit the pillow she was out.

When she woke she noticed they hadn't moved at all, and they were still in their clothes. She was still curled up next to his chest, clinging to his body for dear life as he wrapped himself around her like a mold. It almost appeared desperate, but simply it was the feeling of not wanting to let go. They didn't let go.

She had hoped that when she woke up that horrible feeling in her heart would be gone, but it wasn't. It was still there, burning away like it did before. It was a feeling of guilt, sadness, regret, disappointment, and fear all at once. She could tell he shared a similar emotion, for his eyes were cold and lifeless.

"There is something I must ask you to do with me today," he said as he caressed her face. It shocked her every time he touched her like that; the fire in his fingers was amazing.

"What," she replied.

"I need you to come inside the Pensieve with me. There is something you need to see." He sounded very unhappy about this, but he continued to caress her.

"Is it- is it from," she tried to ask but she knew all ready.

"Yes, it is. I will take you out if you need to, though it would be best if you saw the entirety of it." Even his voice was a caress.

"I trust you," she said softly. She tried to smile but it seemed the muscles didn't want to.

He kissed her shoulder before he took a deep breath. When she rolled onto her back he continued to wrap his arms around her, stroking her hand she entwined in his. He watched as she fell asleep again, her small sighs of relaxation soothing his ears. He watched her for a long time, until the sun was beaming directly upon them.

When she woke again she sat bolt upright because she didn't feel him. She looked around and then she heard the shower being turned on in the bathroom. She sat there for a minute as she rubbed her face in her hands, trying to let the beat of her heart slow down from the sudden panic.

She fought with herself for a minute, deciding if she should leave or wait for him. Doing neither, she got up from the bed and moved into the bathroom. She was quite surprised to see that it wasn't as dark as she thought it would be. The large tub, like hers, was crème marble, as well as the vanity, but the counters were charcoal colored granite. It was very elegant and lovely in a masculine way.

She removed her clothes and tossed them in a pile on the floor next to his, and then she opened the glass door to the shower. When she stepped inside it didn't take her anywhere exotic like hers. It was a normal shower, though twice as large. There were three showerheads attached to the marble walls, and the steam was soothing. It was like a very large steam bath.

He had is back to her. He was leaning on his hands against the wall, letting the water beat down on his neck like bullets. He looked very erotic standing there, and she caught herself studying every part of his body. She snapped out of it and walked up behind him slowly. Letting her hands slide up his back, she kissed him on the shoulder, or as far up as she could reach. He wasn't startled at all it seemed.

"Severus?"

"You're awake," he said simply. He made no movement.

She studied him for a moment, kissing his shoulder again before she spoke. "Do you mind that I'm in here with you?"

He shook his head.

She watched him again, feeling a bit hesitant. "Are you all right?" she asked innocently.

He didn't reply or shake or nod his head.

"Please look at me," she said sadly.

He didn't move and she sighed. She slipped underneath his arm so that she was in front of him, her back against the wall. She looked up at his face, but his eyes were closed. He was letting the water come down on it now, hiding anything that might not want to be seen.

She reached out and placed a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry," she said, also closing her eyes.

"None of this is your fault."

"It's not yours either." She opened her eyes and he was looking at her now. "I- I'm not sure what to do anymore," she confessed. "Is there even any hope?"

He swallowed hard. Then he put one of his hands around her neck, stroking beneath her ear. "There's always hope. I won't let anything happen to you."

"But you are not going to sacrifice yourself for me. I am not going to let you. There's no need. I can- I- I can fight this." Words were hard for her to find.

"I know you can, and I'm going to help you." He leaned in and kissed under her ear, and then he whispered, "I swear to you, my Seda."

She closed her eyes and suddenly felt weak. He could make her a pile of mush with the simplest of words or caresses, and this was one of them. He kissed her on the mouth, stealing all the breath from her throat as he did.

When she pulled away she looked into his eyes. "I need you, Severus. Please don't leave me."

"I'm right here," he said.

"No, I mean- don't leave me behind." The look on her face was almost of terror.

It took him a moment to realize what she meant. He was speechless for a second. So many thoughts raced through his head.

"I," he had to take a breath. "I cannot promise you that," he answered honestly, feeling a knot form in his chest.

"No. If you decide to leave then," she also took a breath. "You are taking me with you." A knot formed in her chest too.

"No," he said almost angrily. "No, I will not. I cannot do that." He shook his head slowly at her, narrowing his eyes.

"I can't live with out you. I won't be able to go on." She pleaded.

He took her hands in his and held them tightly. "Yes you can, and you will if you have to. I am sworn to this, Seda. It is my duty to save you." He tried to make her understand.

"Then I don't want you to save me! I'd rather go on with you then be stuck here without you. Do you understand that or do you think I'm joking? I don't care about your stupid duty, I- I- I just want you."

It was silent except for the running water, falling down around their bodies. Then something in his eyes flickered.

She swallowed hard and closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the wall. "Do you know how I felt a few weeks ago, when we actually made love? It was something unexplainable." She swallowed again. "I knew I never wanted to have sex with you again. I wanted every time from then on to be what we shared that night. It felt like it was the first time that- that you gave me yourself as completely as I gave you me. I never felt more complete as I did then."

For a long moment it was silent again, but then she felt him brush his lips over her forehead. Before she could open her eyes he said, "I love you," into her ear.

It was almost like an explosion went off inside her. She didn't know which body part was which anymore. She couldn't even think.

"Say it again," she said breathlessly, feeling her heart pump faster.

"Look at me," he said. She looked at him. He raised one of her hands and pressed it against his heart, holding it firmly under his hand. "I love you," he repeated.

She thought her heart stopped. She felt paralyzed. She felt… there were no words to describe it. It almost seemed like she was outside of her body looking in.

"Do you believe me?" he asked, his voice more full of life than she had ever heard.

"Yes," she said weakly, trying to breathe. "Yes, I believe you."

"Then believe me when I say that I never want to leave you."

She could only take quivering breaths.

"Trust me that I will do anything for you until my very last breath."

"Severus," she gasped, feeling like her heart was ready to explode.

"I didn't believe I would ever be able to love you," he said quietly, starting to look away.

"I know how much you love me," she placed a hand on his cheek, "and I live because of it. That's why I won't be able to live with out you."

He searched her face for a moment before he asked quietly, "can I make love to you?"

"I want you to," she answered.

She dropped her head to his chest before he could say anything, kissing his wet skin and inhaling his scent. Even through the water she could smell him. That scent told her heart it was home. Now she understood that quote about home being where the heart is.

He pressed his lips to her shoulder, letting his hands slide up the sides of her body. They rested underneath her armpits until they slid across her chest, falling over her breasts. His hands were trembling just slightly. Then he stopped kissing her and looked down as she sucked on his chest.

She looked up at him when she felt his hands shaking. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's-," he brought his hands to her face, "you're beautiful."

She couldn't help but smile, feeling relieved in a way. She let her hands roam across his chest as she said, "Severus Snape, why do you have to make me blush?"

"Because I like to," he admitted before he pulled her against him, attacking her lips with hunger. She moaned into his mouth, which was like music to his ears every time.

She slid one of her hands down over his stomach, pausing when she reached his pelvis. She stepped closer to him, making him move backwards. She pushed him all the way to the small shower seat built in the adjacent wall. Then she pushed him down so he was sitting and she sat on his lap, facing him. It felt wonderful with the water still running down on them.

She took his member into her hand, but only continued to kiss him. She stroked him until he was ready, and then she hovered right over it. As he slid all the way in she let out a long deep moan. It was the perfect fit as always, though she felt like she could feel more this way.

He let out a moan the same time she did, feeling her velvety warmth. He pulled back and then pushed into her several times, feeling like he was deeper than he ever was. She cried out for a moment, closing her eyes in pain and he stopped.

"Am I hurting you?"

"N-no, just- just go slower," she panted. "I've never felt- it's so deep." She opened her eyes, grasped his face and kissed him. "Don't stop," she breathed. "Just slower."

He pushed back into her, taking his time to reach her core. It made her hiss into his mouth, and then she dropped her forehead to his shoulder. She wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to hold on as she felt like she was being carried away.

They continued slowly for several minutes, and she was finally starting to adjust. She even started to roll against him, wanting to feel more of him. Each time he would go in deeper she would gasp.

"Are you certain I'm not hurting you?" he asked again through his own moans.

She shook her head, biting down on his neck. "I trust you," she spoke into his skin.

They went on for another few minutes, going deeper and faster as they did. She could feel her weakness coming on, her insides tightening around him, trying to pull him in more. Her hands slipped into his wet hair, her head falling back as she felt the edge of her pleasure rolling closer. The water poured down on her face, falling down her throat as her mouth opened with her moans.

She couldn't take anymore. It was torture being so close but unable to get it fast enough. One of her hands slid down to rub herself and her first little shutter sent a shock through both their bodies.

He looked down at her hand, feeling his head buzz in excitement. He put one hand behind her neck and pulled her face to his. "That's beautiful," he said, pushing into her more.

She couldn't speak anymore. It was beyond words. She rested her forehead against his and continued her ministrations as he pushed in faster. They looked right at each other until her last shutter made her crumble completely, and she closed her eyes and screamed into the water.

She pulled her hand away from herself and wrapped it around his neck once more. He didn't stop pumping into her until he tightened and released himself inside her. She screamed again, digging her nails into his back. Then he took her mouth with his lips and groaned his release into her throat.

When they looked at each other they said, "I love you," still panting as they came back down from the clouds. Then they closed their eyes and rested their foreheads together, breathing in each other's scent.

After they finished in the shower she sat on his bed, wrapped in a towel. A moment later he came walking out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Dumbledore will be expecting us in his office after breakfast," he said, sitting down next to her. He ran a hand through her wet hair. "Are you ready to do this?"

"Not really, but I probably never will be," she answered truthfully, looking down at her hands.

He lifted her chin with his fingers and studied her eyes closely. "What is it?"

"I was just wondering if- you don't think that we- because of this charm-"

"No," he answered before she finished. "The charm has nothing to do with making people fall in love. Neither the guardian nor the protected one has to be in love for it to work. They could hate each other, but it would still work. It's just a bond, nothing more."

She sighed in relief, feeling a weight lift off her chest. "I believe you," she said, leaning in to kiss him. "I have to get dressed. We don't have a lot of time."

She stood up and walked into the bathroom, grabbing her clothes and then came out. "Can I floo?" she asked.

He nodded his head and stood up. He lit the fireplace with out even using his wand, and then he tossed in the floo powder. Before she stepped inside she kissed him once more and said, "thanks for the towel." She smiled into his mouth and then she was gone.

Hardly an hour later Seda was standing over the Pensieve, with Snape at her side. Dumbledore had just explained how a Pensieve works and reminded her that nothing would harm her, nor would anyone know she was there but herself and Snape.

"Are you ready?" Dumbledore asked her again.

"I just want to get it over with."

He nodded. "Just dip your head in and you will be off," he spoke calmly.

She looked at Snape and he said, "I'll be right behind you."

She took a deep breath and bent over the Pensieve after Dumbledore swirled the inside with his wand. She immediately felt herself falling, like she was flooing somewhere, but it was different. Barely a moment later she stopped, and she was standing in a graveyard in the middle of the night. People in black hooded robes were running around chaotically, dozens of them. She could hear screaming and yells, and sounds of spells hitting things.

She gasped and turned around in panic before she ran into Snape's chest.

"It's all right," he said. He looked around for a minute, his face fixed in disgust and fright even. Then he looked back at her and said, "this way," as he started to walk forward, into the commotion.

She caught up beside him, staying as close as possible. She hadn't even been in there for a minute and she was already nervous. She followed him around the outside of a large crowd of people, all in black robes. They stopped at a small gap, just wide enough to fit one person. There were two people on the ground in the middle of the group, and one was convulsing in pain with his yells.

Suddenly he stopped yelling, but he was trembling still. He tried to get to his hands and knees but he was panting and weak. He was moving his mouth as if he was trying to speak but the words would not come out. He kept trying, looking at someone Seda could not see.

A horrible sickly feeling came over her when she took a step closer, stepping away from Snape's side to see more. There was a woman on the ground, restrained by ropes holding her to a tree trunk. She was crying, and trying to get to the man on the ground before her.

Then someone spoke, a man's voice. It was cold and ruthless sounding.

"What do you think of your husband now? You see how he writhes on the earth like the vermin he is?" The voice spoke horribly. "He deserves this pain. He is traitorous. No one steps down from their service to our lord and escapes with their life."

Seda watched in horror, as she saw her mother and father for the first time in her life. They looked older though. They seemed to be around their early forties.

The cold voice spoke again. "Kill him, Snape. He's not worth our time, torturing him. Kill him and be done with it."

Seda had to gulp down the air. She felt her heartbeat race faster. She saw a man step forward in black robes, his hood low over his face. He pointed his wand at her father but did nothing.

"Do it!" the voice yelled. The Snape in the memory just stood there.

"We shouldn't kill our kind, Lucius. It's a disgrace on us all." It was Snape's voice but it sounded so much younger.

"He is not one of us. You've had your orders, now do it!" Lucius bellowed. Snape still did not act and a moment later Lucius stepped forward and swished his wand at Snape. "Fool. You are weak!"

The younger Snape brought a hand to his chest, blood spilling onto his fingers. Lucius in the mean time raised his wand and aimed it at the man on the ground.

"Vespera," her father spoke weakly. "I love you forever."

"Avada Kedavra," Lucius yelled.

A flash of green light hit her father on the chest and he keeled over and did not move again. His eyes were staring at his wife still, wide and lifeless as the woman began to sob and scream.

Seda suddenly felt sicker than she had a moment ago. She watched as the hooded figures moved in around her mother and started to torture her. She couldn't see her anymore but she could hear her screams of pain and sorrow.

Seda felt weak now. She staggered backwards and turned around as she fell into Snape's chest. She clung to him like a vice, though she did not cry. She was breathing extremely fast, as if her heart wanted to rip out of her body.

"Seda?" he spoke.

She barely had time to blink before the scene around her vanished and they were somewhere else now. It was still dark out but a vast crowd of trees surrounded them now. She looked around after she pulled away from Snape's chest, and she saw two figures a few yards away. She took a few steps closer. Someone was kneeling next to her unconscious mother.

"Ennervate," came Snape's younger voice.

Her mother immediately opened her eyes, though they looked heavy and swollen. She looked like she wanted to crawl away but she couldn't. She was breathing hard and fast, and she started to shake violently.

"My baby, please," she tried to speak, but it was difficult for her. She placed her hands on her stomach and closed her eyes in pain. "My baby," she repeated.

Seda walked around so she could see. As she did, the memory Snape lowered his hood and she saw him. He could be no more than a teenager for he looked so very young. His hair was still long and raven black, his face still sallow yet less aged by stress. He looked almost exactly the same; the bitterness was still there even when he was so young.

Her mother looked up and saw Snape, and she suddenly looked relieved almost, though she was still in pain.

"Young Snape," she tried to speak. "Please save my baby, please save my baby," she repeated, trying not to scream from the pain shown on her face.

The younger Snape only looked down at her mother, trying to think of what he wanted to do. He kept looking around often, as if someone was going to find them.

Her mother reached up to Snape's chest and touched it. When she pulled her hand back blood was dripping down her fingers. "You're a victim too," she said weakly.

She pressed her hand to his chest again and then she muttered something Seda could not hear. The scene became somewhat hazy, as if a dense fog came in. She could see parts of what was happening on the ground but then it would fade just as quickly. Next it all vanished completely and they were in a dark hall with white walls.

She looked up and the real Snape was beside her. He was looking ahead of him at something very intensely. Seda turned her head and saw the younger Snape placing her mother in a chair as he ran off to find someone. A minute later he came back around the corner with a nurse.

"She's going into labor," he said quickly to the nurse. Seda noticed for the first time that her mother's stomach was now very large, as if she really was pregnant. She didn't notice before because her stomach looked normal.

Her mother was shrieking in pain, as if she were being torn from limb to limb. Seda's heart felt like it was full of that pain, and she grabbed the real Snape's hand as she fought to hold back her emotions.

The nurse immediately ran off around the corner again, probably going to get help. Her mother was getting weaker by the second it seemed. Her cries were still filled of pain but they were getting shorter. Then the young Snape waved his wand over her and it looked as if nothing happened.

Seda felt Snape squeeze her hand, and then she was being pulled away as she watched the younger Snape vanish from the scene, just as she was doing now. They were back in Dumbledore's office in a moment. When she found her balance she turned from them and ran out of the door.

She entered her rooms and threw herself down on her bed, burying her face into the blankets as she sobbed her heart's pain. She cried so hard she didn't notice as Snape came out of the fireplace and walked over to her. He sat on her bed and pulled her to him. He let her cry into his shoulder as the mark across his chest burned with her pain.

* * *

A/N: Sorry if anything was cheesy. As I said before, I'm a huge fan of romance and I kind of play sucker when it comes to it. There needs to be a balance somewhere or it just gets too overwhelming. Drama-romance, romance-drama, it all goes back and forth in a nice little circle. Ah yes, the ending is quite dramatic as well, but what can you expect with a scene like that. I know, she cries a lot, but I can only imagine anyone would be upset after seeing their parents for the first time and during their last moments of life. Yes, drama is dramatic, isn't it? Until next time, Toodles! 


	61. A Promise is Forever

AN: Here we are again. I don't have very much to say except thank you to all those who read and review. I'm getting ever closer to the end, which means it will be over soon. When it is over, however, I am going back through each chapter and revising and editing. Undoubtedly, this story will be shorter once I do that, which is good. It will be more to the point but still have my sense of time.

Also, I keep forgetting to put a disclaimer on my story. Oops! So here it is, making it's first appearance, and to be continued ever after.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own anything in the Potterverse except my original characters. All of it belongs to J. K Rowling. She's merely letting me play in her world. Thank you to her for giving us this playground.

* * *

It took her awhile to stop crying. Every time she thought she could control herself, visions of what she saw flashed across her memory and she would cry once again. She finally made herself stop, and she sniffed into Snape's shoulder, feeling a little embarrassed. 

"I'm sorry," she said, still sniffling.

"You don't need to apologize. I'm sorry for making you see that, but I feel you needed to understand," he spoke quietly, caressing her back.

"I don't know why I'm crying," she said as her voice cracked, trying not to cry again as the visions played in her mind. She continued to embrace him for her own support, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Not many people could handle seeing their parents for the first time, and in the moments before their lives were taken from them. I wasn't expecting you to make it through actually. I should have taken you out sooner, letting you go back another time."

"It's ok," she said. "I would have felt the same way no matter when it happened. I just- it was so… horrible."

He didn't say anything, he just held her. He could feel her chest jumping up and down as her cries fought to escape, but she was holding them back as best she could. He pulled her away from his chest so he could look at her face. She tried to look away from him, feeling ridiculous, but he turned her face towards him.

"Your tears are filled with pain," he brushed her face, smoothing the tears away from her, "let me take them away."

She gave him a watery smile, feeling her heart mold beneath his palm. She sniffed again and said, "I need a Kleenex," almost laughing at herself.

He looked at her puzzled for a moment. "A what?"

She laughed softly and replied, "a tissue, sorry. It's a- never mind that." She shook her head, feeling dumb.

He ran his fingers across her face, tracing her eyes, nose, and lips delicately. He placed a feathery kiss on each, lingering on her lips. As her eyes fluttered open she smiled at him again. He felt part of himself weaken when she smiled at him like that. He became vulnerable around her. She was his weakness, and his strength at the same time.

"You always know how to bring me back," she said, still smiling. She reached for a tissue on her nightstand and then she repositioned herself on the bed. She crawled into his lap so she was straddling him. She found that she liked to sit this way with him, it was rather comfortable and it brought them closer to each other.

She studied him for a moment before she asked, "How old were you in that memory?"

He took a moment to think and then he said, "I was eighteen.

"So young," she spoke softly. "How long were you, er-"

"I had been in his service for almost two years by then. Shortly after that I started servicing Dumbledore." He spoke as if it were memorization.

She nodded her head at him and sighed. They were both deep in thought when finally something occurred to her.

"Why did my mother suddenly appear pregnant?"

"Witches have the benefit to conceal their pregnancy. It's just a concealment charm."

"So no one knew she was pregnant?"

"I do not believe so. She had to conceal it or she would have been in far more danger. Death Eater's families are not always safe," he said, looking regretful.

"So that's why no one knew about me until I mysteriously disappeared, when my name was written down for Hogwarts or what ever it was." She looked thoughtful for a minute.

"Yes, that and because of the charm."

"But why did I end up where I did?" She was frustrated in a way. "I mean, I love my adoptive parents, they _are_ my parents, but-"

"I believe your mother's intention was to send you as far away as possible. She didn't want to risk you being captured by the wrong people." He touched her hair and wrapped it around his fingers. "You wouldn't be here if that happened."

She tried to smile but a sad thought came to her. "And no one knows what happened to her," she said, looking over his shoulder and out the window.

"No. She just vanished. She was never heard from or seen again. Of course, everyone believed her to be dead after that riot."

"So, do you think maybe she's- is it possible?" She continued staring out the window, lost in her thoughts.

"It is possible, but I really do not believe she would have made it. Her body was already shutting down. If the curses didn't kill her, then giving birth would have."

She looked back at him and narrowed her eyes. "But how did she vanish then? If she was that weak and-" she took a deep breath.

"I know it's hard for you to hear it, but I don't think she's alive, Seda. It would be very unlikely if she survived."

She sighed again. "I know, I was just-"

"Hoping she might be out there somewhere," he finished.

She gave him a half smile, her eyes glowing funnily. "I hate it when you read my thoughts," she said, smiling a bit more. She looked down at one of his hands and weaved her fingers in his. She sort of played with them until she spoke. "I know this will sound absurd but sometimes I feel like I'm not alone." She looked up at him to see his reaction.

"What do you mean?" He looked at her thoughtfully.

"I mean, sometimes I feel like someone is, I don't know, watching over me. I don't know if you believe in it, but I believe in Angels."

"I don't know if I believe in them or not. I really cannot say. You may believe whatever it is you wish to believe though."

She looked at him for a long minute, trying best to think of what she wanted to say.

"Is it wrong of me to want to see her sometimes? I mean really wondering what it would be like if- if she raised me." She looked ashamed of herself. "I feel like I betray my parents when I think that."

"You're not betraying them. There's nothing wrong with wanting to know what it would be like when it comes to things you've never known. Don't feel ashamed because you want to know your mother."

"It's just so weird," she gasped. "When I saw her, I saw- I don't know what it is, I can't explain the feeling." She was breathless practically.

"You do look like her, Seda. I imagine you felt like you were watching yourself at some point, and you felt completely helpless."

"Yes," she said in hardly a whisper. She closed her eyes and rested her chin on his shoulder. "She was in so much pain."

"I think the pain was forgotten when she saw you though, if she did." He held her close. "Try not to think of her suffering. There's nothing you can do for her now."

"You're right, but it's hard not to think about it." She kissed his cheek and she looked back at him. "Besides," she traced his face with her fingers, "I have you to make me forget my pain." She smiled and hesitated slightly before she kissed him, and then her thoughts were gone completely.

He loved it when she kissed him like that. Even when they were talking about very personal and emotional things, it could be forgotten by the mere taste or feel of the other. He loved how she always ran her fingers through his hair, stopping at the base of his skull so she could pull his mouth closer to hers. She touched him so gently yet so confidently he could never keep his head straight. She really was his weakness.

When she pulled away she panted. "God, I wish I could do that forever."

"I believe there may be other things," he smirked, trailing his fingers up her spine.

"You are such a wicked man," she replied, grabbing his lip with her teeth.

"Indeed," he said, falling backwards and rolling on top of her at the same time. He took her lips in his and attempted to steal all her breath.

"Never leave me," she whispered, looking into his eyes.

"I never want to."

"Promise me, Severus." Her eyes burned into his mind. "Please."

"I promise," he gave in by the way she looked at him so sadly. He felt his heart drop after he said it, but then she gave him a small smile and ran her hands through his hair again.

He was getting particularly friendly with her neck, letting his hands slide over her chest when her stomach growled.

"Ugh," she moaned. It growled again. "Perfect timing," she muttered.

He smirked into her neck. "I think we should go to lunch anyway," he said, kissing up to her mouth.

"I suppose," she sighed. He kissed her deeply and she moaned. "I have to say, this is much more tempting," she breathed heavily. Before she could enjoy it too much, he stood from the bed as he took her hands and pulled her up too.

"Come. We can talk later," he said, kissing her hand like a gentleman would in an old movie.

"Such a charmer," she smiled at him sarcastically. As she walked by him she purposely let her hand brush against his groin region. She looked over her shoulder and gave an overly dramatic wink. The reaction she received was priceless and she had to laugh.

"You," he strolled over and swept her into his arms, "are quite wicked yourself." He allowed her to smile before he stole her mouth momentarily. He set her straight once more and then they went to the Great Hall for lunch.

The next day, Sunday, she met Hermione in Hogsmeade. Hermione seemed to have avoided her since they were in Snape's office. Usually Hermione would insist to see her until it was unbearable, but she seemed hesitant. Seda reassured her she wasn't angry or upset with her at all. Hermione was only trying to help after all.

She lured her out by mentioning some books she was interested in, and if she would help her look for them. They sat in The Three Broomsticks afterwards and talked for a while.

"Thank you for the Valentine's by the way. Madison was so excited she ran around the house shrieking and singing at the top of her lungs. She didn't stop until Ron said he would turn her into a frog if she didn't." Hermione snorted with laughter.

"She'd make a cute little frog. Just imagine the pigtails," Seda laughed.

"Yes, well Ron is a bit weird when it comes to punishment," she shrugged. "I told him on no means would he ever turn our daughter into a reptile, insect, amphibian, or animal of any sort. I threatened to turn her into a spider if he persisted. That shut him up," she laughed again.

Seda laughed, but when she stopped she was still smiling, a lot. She couldn't help it.

"You seem to be amused about something. Would you care to share?" Hermione asked, eyeing her curiously.

"It's nothing," she said, but she grinned.

"You are a very bad liar, Seda." She smiled heartily. "I'm glad to see that you are happy though, considering Friday night. I'm still really sorry about that. I know we'll be able to figure this out."

"Don't be sorry, Hermione. It's lucky you found that or we might never find a cure. Sev- um, he's worrying me though."

"About what?"

"It's just- I'm not sure really. He's so determined to save me no matter what, even if it's worth his life. I don't want him to have that burden. This isn't his fault."

"But he's a guardian, Seda. He doesn't have a choice. You don't think he cares about you that much or what?" Hermione looked all knowing as usual.

"That's it though. He does care about me. He-" she bit her lip and looked awkward.

"He what, Seda," Hermione pressed. She inclined her head, trying to urge her on.

"Well, he," she took a deep breath and felt her face flush with heat. "He said it."

"It?" Hermione raised her eyebrows. "You mean-"

"Yes," she said, beaming again. "He said it and it was so," she breathed deeply, "it was so unexpected and perfect. I thought my heart stopped. I couldn't even breathe." She swallowed, trying to get air. "I knew he did I just- I never imagined how beautiful it would be when he actually whispered it in my ear. And the look in his eyes when he stared at me after-" her eyes watered and she let out a soft sob. "I'm sorry," she said, flapping her hands and then wiping her eyes.

Hermione took a deep breath and wiped a tear from her eye. "Oh, no, no. Seda, it's all right. It's normal to feel this way. You are just so happy you can't believe it. And it's scary, I know." She sniffled. "Look at what you've done to me," she laughed over a small cry and wiped more happy tears from her eyes.

Seda laughed at her and brushed her own happy tears away too. When they stopped laughing at each other's feminine silliness, Hermione took Seda's hands in hers.

"I told you he loved you. There's been such a subtle change in him. I mean he's still the same, but he's different. Do you know what I'm trying to say?"

"Yes, I understand." She sighed, feeling very jittery inside. "Hermione, I really want to be with him forever. I've never felt this certain and scared at the same time. I just don't want him to push me away if this situation gets worse."

"He won't. I know he won't. We're getting closer now, I know it." She smiled reassuringly. "It's strange to think of Snape being in love, but he is only human. He deserves to be happy for once. I think you make him happy even though he doesn't always show it. He's still Snape after all."

They laughed and continued talking for a while. Seda told Hermione about the memory she saw and how horrible it was to witness. She confessed her feeling of wanting to know if her mother was still out there somewhere and what it would be like if she was. Then they talked about the curse some more, and finally more normal and happy things.

"Harry wrote to me, and he said Ginny would be coming home in two weeks. He invited me out with you I guess," she shrugged.

"Yes, Ginny is coming out to visit on holiday. Ron's birthday is a few days before so we are going to celebrate with Ginny when she gets here. Are you going to come?"

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm not sure yet. Probably just out to a bar or something, nothing fancy. Oh, I hope you come. You should. It will be fun and you need to get out more anyways."

"Yeah, I'll probably come. I mean, why not. I won't have anything better to do except study, which is important," she added seeing Hermione's mouth open to add her opinion.

"Oh, good then. Ron and Ginny's brothers might come too actually, if they can. They are a trip, those two."

"Oh, really? Why?"

"For starters, they are twins born on the first of April. That should give you a vague idea." Hermione grinned, going through particular memories.

"Excellent," Seda said, raising her bottle of butterbeer to Hermione's in cheers.

They finished their drinks a while later and said goodbye to each other. The rest of the day was fairly uneventful, except for a student who tried to set off dung bombs during dinner. Apparently Mr. Filch caught the culprit and had a rather fun time dragging said student by the ear to Dumbledore's office.

Seda lay in bed that night thinking about a great deal of things. She was thinking about so many things at once she ended up with a headache. She tried to close her eyes and go to sleep but thoughts kept coming back to her. Most of them were images of the memory she saw. Finally she forced herself to think of nothing and it worked for a little while.

She fell asleep and dreamed of nothing at first, but then, to her unconscious horror, she began to dream of a familiar black lake with a dark figure standing in the middle. As she fell through the black oblivion she eventually woke herself by screaming out. She gulped for air and as she did the horrible vileness crawled its way up her throat.

She stumbled out of bed and made it to the bathroom just in time before she emptied everything in her stomach. When she leaned back from the toilet blood was covering the rim. She looked down at her chest and the bruise was burning bright red through her shirt and seeping with blood. The sight made her throw up again.

She tried to stand up from the floor but her legs were shaking horribly. She managed to grasp the counter and lean against the wall as she made her way out. Once she got to the bedroom she stumbled onto the floor again, feeling too week to hold herself up. She knew she had to find someone but she couldn't move.

Telling herself that she was not weak over and over again she managed to crawl to the fireplace. She used all her strength to lean onto the coffee table and reach for the bowl of floo powder on the mantle. She grabbed whatever she could and threw it weakly into the fireplace. She prayed it would turn green and it did. She stumbled inside of it and muttered, "Infirmary," so weakly she didn't know if it would take her.

She didn't go anywhere. She began to panic as she felt her body trembling, fighting to support her weight. "Infirmary," she cried out, feeling like it was over. Then she felt herself being sucked in and she was tumbling in the air. She came rolling out of the fireplace and crashed into the floor with a loud thud in what she hoped was the Hospital Wing. She could barely remember seeing the ceiling when it all became black.

She could hear the muffled sound of voices but all she could see was black. She tried to open her eyes but she couldn't. The voices faded in and out, as if she were bobbing in water. Instead she concentrated on the voices.

"It's so odd," someone said.

"Yes, it is. When I went down to- there was no answer."

"Do you think-"

"I'm not sure- was barely conscious when I found-"

"The marks on-"

"It was bleeding and-"

The voices continued to fade in and out still. It made her dizzy so that everything in her head was swooping around as if she were flying badly. She wished they would just shut up so she could have silence. The more they talked the dizzier she felt, and soon she was tired again and heard nothing.

Her eyes fluttered open groggily, feeling heavy and swollen. All she could see was the high stone ceiling of someplace. She moaned when she felt how badly her head hurt.

"Miss Wood," someone said nearby.

She shifted her eyes to the left and saw Madame Pomfrey approach her.

"You are finally awake child. How do you feel?" She asked as she stopped next to the bed, putting her hand on Seda's forehead.

"Ugh," is all Seda managed to say.

"Well that's a start at least. Does anything hurt?"

"Head," she mumbled.

"Well you banged it pretty good there. I thought you'd be out for days with that." She leaned over to a tray and picked up a small vial. "You need to take this. It will help numb the headache."

Seda nodded and tried to lift her arm but it was so heavy. It felt like a ton of bricks were strapped to her wrists. Madame Pomfrey helped her and soon the liquid ran down her throat. It was disgusting.

"Now I don't want you getting up anytime soon. You need to rest. You've lost a lot of blood but you'll feel stronger in a few days."

Seda was so out of it, it seemed like Madame Pomfrey wasn't even speaking English. It took her awhile to figure out what it was she was saying.

"I do hope Severus wakes up soon. I'd like to know what happened to him."

"Huh?" Seda muttered, confused. Did she just hear her say Severus?

"He's been unconscious just as long as you have dear. Dumbledore found him in his room just before he fell over. He was muttering something about his chest. I say he's far too young for a heart attack. There's such an odd mark though."

Seda could only understand half of what she said. She was talking so fast it seemed and it still didn't sound like English.

Seda turned her head after Madame Pomfrey walked away. To her right and in the bed next to her lay Snape, unconscious and unmoving. She suddenly felt terrified, seeing him like that. She wished she could go to him but she could barely move her fingers. She stared at his sleeping form and mumbled his name softly until she fell asleep again.

It was sometime after dinner when Dumbledore strolled into the Hospital Wing. He approached both beds and looked over each sleeping form and then he turned back to Snape as Madame Pomfrey came to his side.

"Has she woken again since this morning?" he asked quietly.

"No, I'm afraid she hasn't. Her body is weak and very tired. I'm surprised she woke up at all today." She looked down at Snape. "He, on the other hand, has not woken at all. He's still out cold."

"I wouldn't expect him to wake before she does, honestly."

"What happened to him, Albus?"

"I don't know exactly. I can only assume he was sharing her condition at the same time, and obviously took on more of it. He was struggling to communicate when I arrived, but then he was out within a moment. We shall have to wait and see when he wakes up. You should continue to keep them in this private room. Students will be curious tomorrow about their sudden absences at the same time."

"Yes. And what of the mark?"

"Ah, yes. That has been there and caused him trouble before, however never this strong of course. I think-" he paused as he thought about something. "Pardon, I think maybe we will just have to wait and see if he can remember anything."

They talked for another minute and then they left the pair to sleep in silence. The night went on with out a wink of trouble or disturbance. Everything was silent. The only light in the room was the moonlight pouring in from the window, resting upon two sleeping bodies as they shared the same dream unknowingly.

They were both falling in a pool of black nothingness, feeling like they were suffocating. It continued for what seemed like forever until a small orb of light lead them upwards. They continued upwards until they felt like they shot their heads shot out of water, gasping for air.

She immediately sat upright and gasped for air. She did this a moment before Snape sat up like a bolt, panting as if he had been running.

"Severus?" she said looking over at him.

"Seda?" he looked at her oddly.

"What-" she started.

"Are you all right? Why are you here?" He looked confused.

"I don't know. What happened to you?" She looked just as confused.

"I'm not sure exactly," he moaned. He fell back against the pillows and pressed his hands to his face. "The last I remember I was having a strange dream. I was going to see if you were safe but then I don't remember anything after that."

"I had another dream," she said as she fell back against the pillows too. He turned his head and looked at her oddly. "I'm scared," she confessed.

"They'll stop someday."

"No I- I'm scared for you," she said, staring at him desperately. "Why are you doing this?"

"I don't want you to worry over me. There's nothing you can do to stop it."

"You promised me." She looked at him angrily. "You promised you would never leave me, Severus. Did you forget that?"

"No, I didn't forget and I'm not leaving you. I didn't plan this I assure you."

"I promised you and you promised me. We're even. I- ugh," she moaned, suddenly closing her eyes in pain.

"You need to rest. You are weak now." He said, wanting to go to her but not able to.

"So are you," she mumbled, already starting to drift off to sleep.

"Sleep, Seda. I'll see you when you wake," he said softly. He struggled to keep his eyes open to watch her, but soon they felt heavy and he was sleeping within a moment.

* * *

AN: All right. So it's the end to another chapter. I think it leaves you on enough of a cliffie but not so horrible where you'll go insane. I would never want to do that, hehe! I love Seda and Hermione's little moment of happy tears. It wassuch a girly thing to do I couldn't resist. They are two women in love, what did you expect! Sorry for any huge typos or mistakes. I was typing as fast as I could and I may not have caught everything. Well, helpful reviews and comments are always welcome! I hope you enjoyed it! See you soon. Toodles! 


	62. Without You I Cannot Live

AN: Sorry it's taken me longer to update. I had finals for my summer semester, so I barely had a spare minute to even breathe. Then I was working on my week off. Anyway, here is the next chapter. I hope I didn't drive you insane with the abrupt ending in the last one. Toodles!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own anything in the Potterverse except my original characters. All of it belongs to J. K Rowling. She is merely letting me play in her world.

* * *

The next morning was dreary, which was typical for the last stretches of winter, trying to fight back the incoming spring. The sky was gray and cheerless. There was no hint of sunlight to be seen behind the deep curtains of gloomy mist. It reflected the mood inside the private Hospital Wing chamber perfectly, where two bodies lay in a restless slumber, disturbed only by their dreams of black nothingness and never ending peril. 

Seda was the first to wake, again. She opened her eyes groggily, which was very much expected from a restless sleep. Her body protested her waking, but her mind outweighed her body. She turned her eyes in their sockets and looked over at Snape. He looked undisturbed, but she knew he was just as bothered by persistent dreams of dreariness.

She knew it was morning, though it did not look it. Sighing, she turned her eyes back up to the ceiling and stared thoughtless for several minutes. Then a thought came to her suddenly. It was more than a thought actually, but it made her come out of her reverie rather quickly. She turned her eyes back on Snape and concentrated deeply, as if she was trying to remember something from long ago.

"Severus," she said quietly but urgently. She wanted to wake him with out alerting anyone else, even though they were alone in a small room. "Severus, can you hear me?"

He groaned deeply, as if he were stuck in a deep sleep somewhere inside himself. He made no movement, only a deep sound of sleep.

"Severus, I need you to wake up," she continued. If she could just get out of the bed she would go to him, but still she felt her body protest any movement. "Severus, I-"

She stopped when she heard the door open to her left. She looked as Madame Pomfrey came in with a tray of small vials and pitcher with two glasses. She set them down on the stand between Seda and Snape's beds, and then she looked down at Seda.

"All ready awake? Good. I need you to take this," she said as she picked up a vial. Seda took it and then Madame Pomfrey offered her a glass of water. She drank it down as if she had been stranded in a desert.

"If you are feeling stronger by the afternoon I shall release you, as long as you don't do anything strenuous."

"I won't," Seda replied thankfully. Pomfrey eyed her curiously for a moment before she turned to Snape.

"I'm afraid I will have to wake him. Hold on to your hat, dear, this won't be pretty," she warned. She touched his arm so that he would wake. "Severus, I'm sorry to wake you, but you need to take this potion." He groaned a bit louder than when Seda had called him.

"Come on, old man, I know you can hear me," she said a bit more impatiently.

"Who are you calling old, you ripened tart," he muttered angrily but still sleepily.

Madame Pomfrey looked over her shoulder at Seda and gave her an I-told-you-so sort of look. Seda had to sniff back her laughter.

"I'm so glad to see you have your usual charm, Severus. Now please, make this easy on the both of us and take your potion. You know very well this ripened tart can become forceful, and you wouldn't want that now would you?"

He opened his eyes and stared up at her with his best death glare, even though his eyes were glazed over with sleep still. He snatched the potion out of her hand and swallowed it hastily before he waved his hand at her to leave him alone. As she set the vial back on the tray she spoke to him as if he had not been rude with her at all.

"As I was just telling Miss Wood, I will release you this afternoon if you promise not to over exert yourself." He waved his hand at her again, lazily, clearly trying to go back to sleep. "Don't you be impertinent with me, Severus Snape, you may be a Potions Master, but I still know what's best for your health. Now you lay there like a good patient and don't make me restrain you to the bed, and no more of that cheek thank you."

She bustled away and left the room private once more. It was silent for a moment before Snape muttered, "damn irritable woman."

Seda laughed to her self momentarily. She was glad to see she was not the only grouch in the mornings.

"Severus?" she asked cautiously.

"What," he said rather annoyed.

She pursed her lips together for a moment before she went on. "I need to talk to you about something."

"And I suppose it needs to be this exact moment in time," he retorted.

"Well no, but soon," she said, getting annoyed with him.

"Very well, then it can wait until later. I would like to enjoy the sound of silence for a few moments longer."

"Gosh! You are such a grouch!"

"Speak for yourself. If I recall correctly, you are not much of a morning person either." He spoke rather calmly, almost in a ho-hum voice.

"That's different," she argued.

"Really? I was under the impression it wasn't." He smirked to himself.

She mumbled at him and let him have his satisfaction for the time being. He was so irritating, yet it fueled her passion for him even more.

Just as Madame Pomfrey said, she released both of them that afternoon as long as they promised to come straight back if anything happened. She wanted to keep Severus a little longer, but he persuaded her by mentioning that many of his students may come into the Infirmary from inadequate potion making, since his presence in the classroom was not there to keep the dunderheads from exploding their caldrons. She rolled her eyes and pushed him out of the door, getting him away from her as soon as possible.

He made his way down to his office quietly, ignoring the students who stared at him curiously as they passed. Normally he would have taken away points but he was too distracted. He let the door slam behind him as he moved to sit in his chair next to the fireplace. As he stared thoughtfully at the brightly burning hearth, he rubbed his hand absentmindedly over his chest.

He heard the door open a few minutes later and he didn't even need to turn to know who it was. As he kept his attention towards the fire he said, "I knew you'd come."

"I told you earlier I wanted to talk," she said stiffly.

"Well, you're here, so why don't you sit down." He gestured to a chair, but still he did not look at her. He heard her sit down but it was silent. Then she sighed.

"I'm not sure how to start exactly, so maybe I'll just show you."

He finally turned in his chair and looked at her. She was clutching something to her chest. When he looked at the object and back to her face curiously she continued.

"Look at this, and tell me what you think." She put the object on the desk and then he picked it up. It was a picture frame, the same one that rested on her mantle with a picture of her when she was younger. He'd studied this picture before, but never gave it much thought afterwards.

"You see it, don't you?" she asked.

"I see a variety of things that could be described as it," he said.

"You know what I mean. That light, you see it?"

He looked at the small ball of light closely for a moment and then he set the picture down on the desk and looked at her.

"Yes, I've studied this picture before. I believe you are looking at a wood nymph of some sort, though I cannot be certain. It's not my area of expertise."

"No," she said, shaking her head. "It's not. Don't you recognize it? It's the same orb of light I've seen in my dreams, or if they were even dreams I don't know. You told me you saw it, remember?"

"Yes, I remember, but I believed the orb of light was an oracle of the curse connecting us, nothing more. This light in the picture cannot be the same phenomenon."

"Why not?" she said impatiently, desperately wanting everything to make sense.

"Because the curse did not affect you until you came in contact with that ring again. Even if it did come to you before, I more than likely would have seen it before too."

"How can you be certain? What if you did see it but never realized?"

"I'm not certain, but I'm-"

"Assuming, I know." She looked away from him with annoyance.

"Seda, assuming that it was the same light you saw in this picture, what relevance does that have? What does it prove?" He inquired logically.

"I don't know," she answered angrily.

"Then why does it bother you so?"

"Because-" she breathed. "Because I told you before, I don't feel like I'm always alone. I think maybe, possibly, that it could be-"

"What do you think it could be?" he pressed.

"I don't know if you know, but Muggles can capture the image of a spirit in a photograph if it is present."

"You think it's your mother," he said.

"Maybe," she answered. "I don't know how else to explain it."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes momentarily. Then he rubbed his temples as he spoke. "I told you before that witches and wizards have the choice whether their soul will go on or not. If they choose to stay then they will become the imprint of their soul, walking the earth for eternity, or in other words, a ghost. If she chose to stay then you would have seen her by now. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes, I know that. I don't think you understand what _I'm_ saying though."

"How so?" he challenged. She was lucky he liked her in such a way that he tolerated her cheekiness.

"A spirit can be more than just a ghost." When he looked at her blankly she sighed. "I mean a spirit can be a, well err, I've told you. Angels are spirits too."

"So you think your mother is some kind of angelic spirit following you around?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"I don't know." She narrowed her eyes at him. "Why are you putting down my beliefs? What if all this _is_ something more?"

"I'm not putting down your beliefs. I'm trying to make you see this rationally. If what you think you saw then were the same now, which happens to be the same symbol I witnessed myself, then why would your mother come to me as some sort of angelic figure? What reason would there be for her to look over me?"

"I don't know," she repeated heavily. "I'm just trying to understand is all, and I'm sorry if I can't see it as logically as you do. I happen to believe that there _are_ unworldly figures out there, and it's my decision to believe which symbols they are."

"I'm not trying to change your beliefs," he said frustrated. "You can believe what you want. Maybe you are right to an extent, but it's not going to solve the problem any sooner. Even if it is an image of your mother's presence, what is it going to prove in the end?"

"Well I guess we see it differently," she muttered. "I know you don't want me to worry about it, but it doesn't make it easier when all I fear lately is that you are going to follow through to the end of my suffering with your own life, leaving me here to wonder if I was foolish," she snapped at him viciously.

"You still think I'm going to abandon you," he said automatically. He should have seen this coming. All her talk about angels, spirits and other worldly figures, he should have known she was getting paranoid.

She didn't answer him. She chewed her tongue to keep her silence.

"You think that, don't you," he demanded. She only closed her eyes. "Seda, I told you it's not in your control. What I have to do is not up to anyone but what fate has destined it to be. I've accepted it all ready, no matter what it is. Why can't you understand that?"

She was silent for a long time. The minute stretched out to feel like an eternity. When she spoke her voice was very soft, and her eyes remained closed.

"The first time I heard you say it," she paused, "it was the first time I felt myself leave my body for a moment. Even within that second I felt such a detachment from you that it scared me beyond anything I have ever feared." She took another deep breath. "I felt for the first time that I was away from you forever, and the pain it created in my heart was unbearable. That's why I asked you to say it again."

She opened her eyes slowly and looked up at him, the look on his face making her breath catch in her throat. "When your voice brought me back I knew I was yours."

It took him a moment to think properly. His throat suddenly felt very dry.

"You didn't believe me?" he said confused.

"I _did_ believe you, that's why I thought I had died momentarily. The emotion it stirred made my heart shatter." Her voice was getting softer.

"Why?" His face looked confused still.

"Because I knew you meant it and," she felt a lump in her throat, "I knew if I ever lost you that my heart would shatter a thousand times worse." Her voice was hardly a whisper and she stared at him as if she was terrified.

For the first time he truly didn't understand what she meant. Maybe it was his lack of love all his life, but he couldn't understand what she was saying.

"I don't know what you mean, Seda."

She saw that he actually looked broken for a moment, the first time she had ever seen him lack his control in such a way.

"I mean I love you with my whole heart, and if we ever break away," they both seemed to hold their breaths until it was painful. "It will stay with you… always."

Comprehension dawned on his face a moment later, and then it dropped to an expression of total blankness. Suddenly he dropped his face in his hands.

"I shouldn't have said it," he mumbled desperately into his hands.

"Severus, no!" She flung her self from the chair and dropped to her knees before him. "If anything, I would want those to be the only words I hear ever again. You don't understand. I'm just scared, Severus, I'm scared! If I die, you live. If you die, I live. It seems we'll never find a way around it. No one's ever died of a broken heart," her voice finally broke, "but if you breathe your last breath I think I might," she gasped as she looked up at him through blurry eyes. "I do understand. That's the trouble." She trembled as she melted onto the cold stone floor.

He looked away from his hands and down at her. As he did a strong emotion overwhelmed him and he couldn't figure out what it was. When he lowered his hands to his lap his palms fell towards her, then his fingers curled up slightly like a gesture. As he raised his palms upward an inch or two, her body rose from the ground until she was standing before him. She looked down at him in shock but he looked back at her the same. He finally took her hands in his and stared up powerfully into her eyes.

"Do you love me that much?" His voice was different, almost strained. It didn't sound real, and it was nothing like she had ever heard. It scared her in a way.

She wasn't even able to find her voice. All she could do was nod, though he just looked back at her blankly, his face full of unreadable emotions.

"Yes, I love you with my whole heart. I've given it to you completely," she said, trying to free him from his trance.

"I-" he started but he stopped.

"What is it," she said nervously.

"I need to think," he said finally, somewhat shaken. "Let me alone for a while." His voice was so distant.

"Severus, are you-"

"Please, just a while." He was still shaken by something.

She stood still as a statue, not able to respond. She felt torn, crushed, and confused all at once.

"I need you to stop worrying about what you can't control. Know that what you feel for me… makes me breathe."

With that he waved his hand slowly in front of her face, as if he was wiping away her thoughts. Then he stood up and exited the room. He left her standing there alone and confused, but content some how.

He walked the hidden corridors, not really knowing or caring where he was going. All he could do was walk, his thoughts leading and pulling him like a rope to some place he didn't know of. It was a very odd sensation because it felt like he couldn't think at all, but he was. The only think he could see was the vision of her face like a shimmer of light in the dim corridors. It was that vision of her petrified expression that made the inside of his body twist into horrible knots.

He didn't even know what to think over exactly. The moments he spent in that room felt like a wall was pressing in on his chest, pushing out all the air in his lungs. He didn't know why he needed to get away so suddenly, but something was wrong, he could feel it. He hated not knowing what he was feeling and why. It was like a word on the tip of his tongue yet he couldn't spit it out.

"Severus?" Came a familiar voice.

Snape looked up and saw the unmistakable form of Albus Dumbledore, standing a little ways down the corridor. Snape hadn't even noticed that he had stopped walking and was leaning against a pedestal as he thought. He had no idea how long he was like that.

"Stalking the corridors for troublemakers?" Dumbledore said but knew that wasn't why. He could see by Snape's form that it was something much more brooding.

"No, Headmaster," he replied quietly, standing straight.

Dumbledore came closer and surveyed Snape for a moment. "Is something troubling you, Severus?" Dumbledore got right to the point.

Snape didn't reply. He didn't know how to answer that actually, which was odd.

"If you have some time now, I would be interested in hearing your tale of events the other night." He gave Snape a habitual look, gazing with misty light blue eyes.

Snape nodded curtly and followed Dumbledore back to his office. Once they were there Snape did not sit down, but gazed at one of the bookshelves, not really seeing it at all. Dumbledore sat down, however, and watched Snape carefully.

"Well to start it off, what happened?" Dumbledore began.

Snape continued to look at the bookshelf, taking a moment to think. It was difficult to remember exactly, it was like a distant memory long forgotten.

"I was sleeping, obviously, when a peculiar sensation took over my body and mind. I don't believe I dreamed of anything but black nothingness and heavy fog. It didn't seem like a dream at all." He spoke as if he wasn't really sure of what he was saying, as if someone else was saying it.

"When did you wake up?"

"I heard screaming, but I couldn't tell where it was coming from. I began to run through the fog and as I did," he stalled for a moment, "as I did a feeling of fire spread out through my chest. I must have woken up then because I remember nothing else." He rubbed his chest absentmindedly again, not looking at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore thought for a moment then he spoke softly. "Do you remember trying to get to her, Severus?"

Snape shook his head, still thinking about too many things at once.

"You have an idea what this is, don't you?" Dumbledore asked seriously.

"Yes," he said darkly.

"I have a feeling you just had a rather, ah, profound conversation with Miss Wood."

Snape didn't answer, nor did he look at him.

"Severus, please sit down. We need to discuss a few things." Dumbledore's voice was suddenly very concerned and demanding.

Snape did as he was told, not bothering to argue with Dumbledore. Usually Snape would keep his business to himself, but now he felt as if everything was out of his hands for once. He didn't like that feeling at all.

Dumbledore sighed quietly and took a minute to think things over. "How serious is this curse becoming?"

"I cannot say exactly, it's very vague."

"Yes, but you will have noticed that you are suffering now, more so than before." Snape looked at him strangely. "Yes, Severus, you've been suffering."

"My suffering is a method used to save her, Dumbledore. It's formed by the charm, I can't do anything about it."

"I understand that, but you are suffering in more than one way."

"What do you know," Snape muttered as he looked to the window.

"I know how much you love her, that's what I know. You don't think I've seen the change in you? It may be slight, but I know you too well not to notice, Severus."

Snape clenched his jaw together, feeling annoyed.

"I think you are troubled because you don't want to leaver her, and you feel as though you cannot provide the necessary emotions to protect her." Dumbledore had a very eerie way of knowing things almost too well and too easily.

Snape shook his head slightly, not wanting to hear what Dumbledore was saying.

"I realize the severity the situation has presented now. This curse has bound you two together, feeding off of the others strength and weakness until the curse is broken. I must caution you, Severus, that if the time does come," he paused for a painfully long moment before he finished, "you will have to let her go."

Snape snapped his head towards Dumbledore so quickly it gave a small crack. "What are you talking about, letting her go," he said angrily.

"I'm saying that if the curse goes as far as to take her life, you must remind her that she is allowed to leave. I have no doubt that she will fight as long as she can just to be with you a moment longer. It will only be a moment longer that she suffers, Severus. You cannot make her suffer any longer than she needs to. I also fear the same from you, if the curse decides to feed on you instead, as it all ready has."

"You- do you really have doubts of our survival," he hissed.

"I cannot deny how serious it has become, that is what I mean. A person will go to great lengths for the ones they love, and sometimes it makes us hold on too long when we should let them be free."

"I really cannot believe you are saying this, Dumbledore," Snape said angrily.

"I'm not being hopeless, Severus. I have more faith in both of you surviving." Dumbledore spoke quite heatedly himself.

"Then what is all this nonsense about one of us dying? I know it's possible, I've thought about it nearly every time I breathe, though I am not willing to let her go so easily after she has suffered for so long, struggling to find the answer. It cannot be over so simply."

"But that's the problem, Severus. You are going to cling to her whether it's your last breath or hers, and you are both going to suffer far more than you need to. You have to accept it if that happens."

"I have accepted it, but I can't bear to live with out her!" He finished in a ragged breath, nearly on the edge of his seat.

Dumbledore did not look startled at all. In fact, he smiled softly at his Potions Master.

As Snape tried to breathe normally a realization washed over him suddenly, after seeing Dumbledore's reaction.

"I always knew you were capable of undying love, Severus, I was just hoping it wouldn't take this formidable of a situation to bring it out," Dumbledore said somewhat happily yet there was a sadness in his eyes.

"I'm torn, Headmaster," Snape spoke quietly, quite a contrast to his former outburst.

"I know you are. I feel a sense of guilt that you always have been, and it was partially my fault. Now you are more than you ever have been in your life, and I cannot guide you this time, Severus. Your heart is entirely your own."

Snape eased back into the chair, feeling his pulse slow down a bit.

"All I can tell you is that she probably loves you with her entire heart, and she has seen past all your fear, putting her trust in you completely. With that, all I can hope is that you love her back all you can, allowing yourself to feel that freedom before it's too late. You deserve your happiness, Severus, you've waited for it for far too long."

Snape sat silently for a few moments longer, thinking over everything Dumbledore said. He knew he was right. The old man had a knack for getting into a person's weak spot and poking it relentlessly. Finally, he stood and bade good day to the old wizard and left to stalk the dim corridors once more.

This time as he walked an idea came to him, rather than a bunch of jumbled thoughts eager for attention. The only issue was when to present this idea out in the open, but he needed to prepare himself first. He walked on feeling a bit uneasy about the possible fate planned for him, but he saw the vision of her shimmering in the corridor and his heart lifted back into its normal place.

* * *

AN: Wow, I realized I haven't updated in nearly three weeks! I apologize greatly. Well, it seems Snape has some sort of plan. Now you just have to wait and see what it is. Sigh, sorry to leave you hanging again. I know it's still dramatic, but the story is reaching its end. Drama and angst is always high during this time, ha! 

Another thing, I would like to recognize all those who review. I feel horribly guilty that I haven't in the past, but I was so concerned with just getting the chapters up.

JunoMagic: I cannot thank you enough for all your helpful reviews and emails, and your encouragement since the beginning. It's hard when I get negativity from some readers, but you always kept up my motivation, so thanks to you a bunch! And yes, Dumbledore is always intervening in some way, eh? Ah, he always knows too much, ha ha.

Grumpirah: I'm glad you "wuv" this story! I will most definitely keep it up, thanks!

Kay50: Twists are so wonderful to put in, ha ha!

Emerald J. Beckett: Sorry! I try to update with two chapters at a time, but then I feel guilty and just post after I finish one. I hope you are still enjoying the story. Thanks!

AlanaRose12: Thank you for liking my story, I really appreciate it! And yes, I love Snape's canon side, his strictness, but I also love that he is vulnerable just like anyone else. It makes sense to me that his weakness would be love. It just fits.

Sneakylaura: Sorry it wasn't Dartmouth. I just picked one, ha ha! Also, a Severus Snape roaming the woods anywhere would be a treat, eh? Well I'm glad you like the location.

Chibi06: Sorry about that comment about the babies. Actually I should have clarified more. Most babies are born with blue eyes, I know that, don't worry. In the first chapter I just wanted him to say that, because he didn't exactly know what he was saying anyways. He was too excited at having a daughter. Sorry for the little misunderstanding. Thanks for the nice comment though!

Leah: Drama is so fun to write though! I can't help it, ha ha! I'm glad your questions have been answered, and yeah it is something weird, knowing I'm writing it, ha! Thanks so much for reading!

Disposable Tears: Hey! Thanks a lot for liking! I hope you continue to like it!

Alge28: Oh, I hope I didn't make your eyeballs fall out, ha ha! Thank you for the nice comment. I, too, love romance, and a little drama help the suspense. Twists are always fun to put in too. The plot, well I've had planned out what's going to happen for over a year so it's only a matter of time before I get there. I just have to keep building up. Thanks again!

To anyone else I may have missed, sorry! Thank you to everyone who encourages this story and me, I really appreciate it deeply, you have no idea. If you continue to leave reviews I will respond in my author's notes. I hope you all enjoyed it, and I will be back soon with a new chapter. Toodles my friends!

One more quick note. Today is October seventh so I would just like to say Happy Birthday to Seda!


	63. Romance Takes Flight

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own anything in the Potterverse except my original characters. All of it belongs to J. K Rowling. She is merely letting me play in her world.

* * *

The week went by slowly. Since Snape declared his need for time to think things over, Seda had given him his space. Friday night she realized, as she sat in her room reading, that it was a week ago she had learned the true intentions of the curse. It seemed much longer than a week ago, it felt like months. Yet it was only a week ago that she learned Snape was starting to suffer too, that he could actually die to save her from a horrible fate. She shuddered at the thought. Quickly, she pushed it aside and delved into the retreat of the book on her lap.

She read the book until her eyes were starting to jump around the page. She noticed she had been rereading sentences at least four times before she would move onto the next. She couldn't concentrate anymore. She snapped the book shut and tossed it lazily onto the coffee table. Then she sat there drumming her fingers on the armrest, trying to keep her mind from exploding.

She was starting to feel very anxious sitting in her room all the time. Sometimes she couldn't stand just studying all day. She missed dancing most of all. It saddened her to think about it. The last time she really danced was in December. She had loved being up on the stage, it was a freedom, but of course she had not left a happy ending. It must have been a sight to see her collapse. She wished she could take it back and do it all over again, but she couldn't.

Then she suddenly remembered seeing that shadowy figure as she went onto the stage. It was such an odd presence. At first she thought it was Snape, but she knew it couldn't have been. She had another thought. When she was with Hermione there was a shadowy figure. She suddenly perked up in her chair, and it really hit her. Thoughts came of that figure she had seen so many times in her dreams. Could it be the same thing? If it was, could that have been the reason she had suffered every time she saw it? She slapped herself on the head and cursed aloud.

She didn't want to think anymore. Walking over to the bed, she tried to clear her mind, though it didn't work exactly. She rested there for a long time, one thought after the other until she was too tired to go on. She was hoping she would dream of Snape, but she didn't. All she got were weird dreamy things. Typical.

She woke up on Saturday very early and the first thought that came to her was the shadows she had seen before. She needed to tell someone. She could go to Hermione, but she always felt like she was just using her as a get away from her problems with Snape. She didn't want to run away from her problems, not that she and Snape were really having difficulties. Well, not if one counted the fact that they are both diminishing at the safety of the other.

After a good long debate with herself she found herself knocking on the hard wooden door. She decided that if anything was really important he should know. Just because they were taking time to think through certain things didn't mean they weren't talking at all. She still loved him. What would make her feel any different? It would take a lot to turn her heart in another direction.

"Enter," came his usual deep voice.

She entered and it did not surprise her to see him hunched over his work, scribbling away on a stack of papers. He glanced up for a moment then returned his eyes to the papers and continued writing.

"Is there something you need, Miss Wood?" He practically purred. It sounded strange. She looked at him curiously before she answered.

"I've had a thought, and I think you should know about it."

"You don't need to come to me every time you think," he retorted, his sarcasm in tact as usual.

"You don't need to be rude, _Severus_." A dirty look covered her face momentarily. Why was he acting so strange? It was as if he forgot his feelings for her.

"What is it you want? I'm rather busy if you hadn't noticed." Irritation dripped off his tongue. He knew she would get angry with that.

She lost her train of thought, and all she could do was stare at him. He noticed her silence, obviously, and looked up at her. He stared back at her and waited for her to say something, but she said nothing.

"Well? Are you just going to stare at me or do you have something to say?" he snapped.

"What's wrong with you?" she said in a disgusted tone.

"If you have come here just to argue then you are wasting your time," he said as he turned his head back to his papers.

"Wha-" she shook her head. "What are you talking about? Why are you acting so weird?"

"Don't ask me silly questions, Miss Wood."

"I came down here to tell you something important, and you practically gave me the cold shoulder," she said in disbelief.

"I asked you what you wanted, Miss Wood, and you stared at me like a fish," he said as he continued to write on the papers.

Narrowing her eyes at him she fixed her voice as calm as she could make it. "I gave you your space, Severus, with no questions asked. I confessed to you what was in my heart, and I was content with your departure for some reason that night. Now this is how you are going to act around me?"

Everything she said sunk into him like an ice cube melting in his mouth. It was nearly too cold to bear but he held it in. He knew she would get furious, but that was his intention after all. Instead of ravishing her with his words, or even using all his will not to laugh to himself, he kept his eyes down and refused to look at her. As hurt as he knew she was feeling, he felt guilty, but he hoped she would hang on just a bit longer.

"I just wanted to tell you that I've seen that shadow more than once. I thought it might be important, considering we are both suffering now. I won't bother you with silly questions anymore," she finished calmly and left his office with a soft click from the door.

He sat there for a good while after just rubbing his temples, a sly smirk spreading over his lips. She was making this so difficult it was beyond perfect he contemplated mischievously. She was falling into his trap splendidly, and he nearly clapped himself on the back on his job well done.

Seda sat through lunch chewing on her tongue rather than her food. She wanted to turn to Snape and question him relentlessly about why he was being such a typical male when she would express some self control, not wanting to give him the advantage of verbally assaulting her. So she sat and chewed her tongue, forcing herself to give him _more time_. She snorted inside her mind at the absurdness.

She left lunch with a quick good bye and noticed as she went the gleaming look in Dumbledore's eyes. She didn't think much of it and headed back to her rooms, almost moping. She never moped. She realized this and immediately became disgusted with herself and picked up the pace. She walked briskly down the long corridor, thinking over a million thoughts a mile a minute when she ran smack into a hard body after she turned the corner. There came a great "oof" from both ends simultaneously.

"Miss Wood," it was the stern voice of McGonagall. "Good grief, child, have you lost your brakes?" she said bewildered as she straightened her glasses.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Professor. I didn't see you coming around the corner. Are you all right?" she asked sympathetically, coming back to her senses finally.

"I'm fine, just a little winded is all. You ought to watch your pace before some poor first year crosses your path, dear."

"Right, sorry," she offered. She felt really stupid at that moment.

"Where are you going all steamed up?" McGonagall looked at her curiously.

"I- uh, I was-"

"Trying to escape me, undoubtedly," came a third voice.

Seda closed her eyes briefly, praying for strength before she turned to face Snape.

"Escape?" McGonagall said awkwardly.

"It seems Miss Wood has forgotten I wished to speak with her after lunch. Either that or she fled conveniently," he scowled. "If you don't mind, Professor, Miss Wood and I will be out of your way," he finished with a nod and grabbed Seda by the arm and led her away around the corner.

She followed him like a little puppy in trouble until they were far enough away and she pulled her arm out of his grip, refusing to go any further. He looked down at her as if he had discovered something unpleasant. Then they stared at each other silently.

"What was that about?" she asked finally.

"Miss Wood, would you do me the honor in having dinner with me tonight?" he asked not in a gentlemanly way at all, but practically demanding. He even crossed his arms.

"Why did you- I- huh?" she said very confused, angry and flabbergasted all at once.

"Have you gone deaf as well," he said dryly. Inside he was rejoicing at her confusion.

"No," she said slowly. "What did you just ask me?" she asked as if she had heard wrong.

"I asked if you would join me for dinner. Tonight," he repeated annoyed.

"We have dinner together every night," she said, getting annoyed with him. She could be sarcastic too if she wanted to be.

"If you do not wish to join me privately then all you have to say is no," he said, narrowing his eyes at her.

"Well gee," she began animatedly, "I'm not exactly used to being asked on a date when the person is scowling at me with daggers shooting out his eyes," she replied heatedly, putting her hands on her hips and pouting her mouth as she always did when she got frustrated.

Oh, Merlin, he loved it when she was frustrated. It was the strangest thing, but it made his heart burn more for her, especially when he was the cause of her frustration. She was so positively maddening that it made him insane with his need for her. It took all his will power not to capture her in his arms and throw her up against the wall, showing her how much he adored her and her frustration. Ah, he did adore her.

"A date," he asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"Well, what in the heck would you call it?" Her arms flared as she spoke, but returned to her hips.

"I'll see you in my office at seven then. Be ready to leave," he said and nodded at her. He turned to leave, rendering her speechless for a moment.

"Wait," she called after him. "Where are we going?" She gave in unknowingly.

"Don't be late," is all he said as he disappeared into the other corridor.

She stood there shocked, unable to process what happened exactly. Then suddenly she gasped. "What am I supposed to wear," she exclaimed to herself dramatically, pressing her hands to her head. She dashed off to her rooms and immediately tore apart her wardrobe, frantic and nervous like a schoolgirl.

She spent at least three quarters of her time trying to decide what to wear. Finally, she had decided on her little black dress she wore at the convention. She never thought she would become one of those women who stressed over their outfit, but she did have to thank God for the idea of the little black dress. It served as a lifesaver actually. She wore the same shoes, though this time she wore a crème wool coat that stopped at her thighs, rather than a dress robe. She wasn't sure why, but it made sense for some apparent reason.

She didn't take an obscene amount of time with her hair either. She let it dry as it always did, the natural waves in her hair falling delicately. She did add a bit more of a scrunch, however, but she didn't fuss with it too much. She liked to be simple, but elegant. At that she rolled her eyes at her self. She was becoming such a classic romantic, but she was a girl after all. It was all ready apart of her in some ways.

By six thirty she was pacing her rooms nervously, not sure what to make of the situation. It was odd by all means. Yes, she and Severus loved each other deeply, they had even made love to each other, but they had never actually been on a date. It was funny how they seemed to be doing things backwards. She really had no idea what he was playing at by this sudden urge for a private dinner. She tried to relax by sitting down again, but the wait was driving her mad.

Five minutes to seven she stopped in front of his office door and breathed. She couldn't understand why she was so nervous. She really did feel like a schoolgirl going on her first date. Horrifying enough, it was her first date with the man she loved. Interesting how it terrified her actually. Finally, she took a last calming breath and knocked.

"Enter," came the usual voice.

She entered.

He was standing next to the mantle, dressed in black robes, though not his usual teaching robes. They looked similar, but they were embroidered with a faint silver thread only visible by the angle of the light hitting them. They were cut slightly different too, but he still looked mysterious and delicious as always in his powerful dark attire.

He clasped a luxurious black wool cloak around his shoulders, ready to leave. He looked positively edible she thought, and she could have slapped herself for losing her senses momentarily, nearly gawking at him.

She grinned inside though when his eyes glazed over for a moment when he turned to look at her. Keeping herself calm, she took a few steps forward, waiting for him to say something. She waited patiently, watching him watching her.

"Are you ready?" he asked, coming back to him self. She nodded. "Come here," he said, beckoning her forward with his hand as he picked up an envelope.

She moved over to him and looked at the envelope curiously. Then she looked up at him.

"Where are we going?" she asked softly, a note of excitement evident in her voice.

"You'll see," he answered. "Touch the envelope and we'll be off."

She hesitated for a moment before she touched it. Within a second they were sucked into the portkey and were transported elsewhere. It stopped almost as suddenly as it began. She fell into him slightly but straightened when she got her footing. She looked around her and had absolutely no clue where they were.

They were in some kind of alley, but not quite. It was larger than an alley, yet not as wide as a street. There was a row of tall brick buildings on either side, lining the cobbled street. It was dimly lit, even though there were several street lamps lining the street also. She looked up in front of her and a large sign with aged looking lettering swung from a metal hanger on the brick.

"Angolo de Londra," she read, eyeing it carefully. Then she looked up at him and said, "Italian. I should have known." She smiled at him.

"Quite the observer, aren't we," he added with a small smirk.

"Naturally. Where are we though?" she asked.

"London, obviously," he said as he led her to the door, which looked more like a back door really.

The outside was quite deceiving. Inside was rich and inviting, the light golden and red-hued from the décor. The air smelled of fresh bread and wonderful spices too. It was cozy and homey feeling, and romantic none the less.

They walked up to a podium where a wizard stood behind it. Snape handed over the envelope and the wizard read it. He snapped his fingers and a moment later another wizard appeared from around the corner. The wizard behind the podium said something to the other.

"Follow me, please," the new wizard said, starting to walk off.

They followed, walking around a corner and into a large dining area with dozens of small tables, occupied by witches and wizards mostly in their prime. They followed him into a hallway, where arches were cut out in the walls revealing a dining area on either side. At the end of the hall was a staircase and they climbed those to the next floor. They continued down a long aisle until they turned the corner one last time and came to a small table on a balcony type landing. It was very similar to box seats in an opera theatre, except there were metal railings rather than a short wall in front of them.

"Enjoy," the wizard said before he bowed and left, pulling a rope that made a panel of velvety curtains fall, completely closing them in their own little area. They could see out over the main dining area, however, as if it were a stage.

She stood for a moment, taking it all in as she tried to breathe. She was startled when she felt his hands on her shoulders.

"Your coat?" he said quietly.

He helped her out of it and hung it next to his cloak on the wall. He looked at her as she stood in her dress so exquisitely, trying to remind himself to breathe. Then he pulled out her seat and let her sit down, pushing her in slightly before he sat next to her. They both were situated so they could look out and observe the room. A magnificent fireplace roared in front of them on the floor below. The brick chimney extended high to the ceiling, and opened wide at the hearth.

"This is beautiful, Severus," she said. She let her eyes roam around the space until she was satisfied, and then she turned her attention back on him. She smiled at him again, unable to contain herself. It was hard to believe she was annoyed with him not too long ago. It was almost silly.

"Wine?" he asked, trying not to let his heart jump in his throat, especially when she looked at him like that.

There was all ready a bottle of wine resting in an ice bucket, with a white cloth wrapped around the slender glass, sealed with an elegant lily tucked in the main fold.

"Oh," she responded, not having seen it at all by her excitement.

He lifted the bottle out of the bucket and pulled the flower off, making the cloth fall to the table. He rested the flower in front of her and then poured them both a glass of burgundy red wine.

"I love lilies," she said so softly it was almost a whisper, picking up the flower and inhaling it deeply. The lily was blood red with a soft yellow core. It was stunning to say the least. Then she stuck it in her hair where a few strands were pulled back behind her head in a simple knot.

"This is a selection of an elf-made wine. It's very similar to what Muggles would call a Pinot Grigio. I think you'll enjoy it," he said, handing her a glass.

"But Pinot Grigio is a white wine," she said as she looked at it, swirling the contents.

"Yes, but this is elf-made. It's slightly different," he said, sipping it after.

She shrugged and tasted it. Her eyes lit up instantly. It was delicious.

"It's wonderful," she said, sipping again. It wasn't as bitter as a red wine, but it wasn't horribly sweet either. It was perfect. She saw him smirk before he took another swig.

She finally set her glass down and waited a moment before she spoke. She listened to the soft music play through out the restaurant, letting it wade to her ears before she looked at him again.

"What is this for?" she asked, gesturing around her and unable to bottle up her curiosity any longer.

He studied her a second before he answered. "I think there are some things we need to discuss, with out the distractions of the castle."

She didn't know what to say exactly, so she nodded. It was an awkward silence until he spoke again.

"I believe there were some things you wanted to tell me this morning."

"Yes." Then she thought. "Why did you act so strangely when I came to you though?"

He sipped his wine then said, "I wasn't particularly in the head set to discuss it then."

"I see. So, you are open to it now I take it?"

"I believe so," he answered simply.

She took a deep breath. "Well, as I was saying, that shadow I saw when I was with Hermione, I've seen it before."

"When?"

"The night I collapsed on the stage," she said, feeling ashamed all of a sudden. There she explained what she saw and all her thoughts on it. She told him how she realized it was a similar feeling to the figure she had seen in her dream so many times.

"I know we discussed it before, but it seems like my dream is becoming real," she confessed.

He looked thoughtful for a moment before he looked at her with his dark eyes. "It does not surprise me at all that when you see it the affect it has is severe. Strange, though, its acting like an omen, though I don't believe it is. I don't see how it could be."

"What if it is though? I've seen it twice when I was awake, and both times… well, you know what happened to me. And-" she thought hard for a moment. "Didn't you feel something too, when it happened?"

"Yes, I did, but I've been having sensations like that more often lately. It could have been the start of it though, I do not know."

"It's odd," she finished, delving into her thoughts once again.

They ordered their dinner and spent some time eating, starting to talk more openly once again. She missed talking to him those past few days. She missed him. It was not a long time, but it was long enough.

"Severus, I hate to ask you all ready, but I want to know," she said, looking at him seriously. "Why did you act the way you did the other day?"

He knew she was going to ask at some point. He had prepared for it all he could. He took a moment to really clear his head before he began.

"To be perfectly honest," he paused, " I was overwhelmed."

She just looked at him as if he were going to say something else all of a sudden. Then she realized that was it.

"Overwhelmed," she said skeptically.

"Your confession, I admit, struck me in such a way I didn't know how to respond to you, the way you needed me to. I was taken back by your fear, and," he breathed deeply, "it's what I fear too, Seda." He felt a small weight lift off his shoulders then.

"Is that why you needed time?" she asked, looking at him more intently.

"Partially," he answered.

"Tell me, Severus, please," she started softly. "I'm listening."

He looked back at her and steadied the sporadic thumping in his chest. He tried to at least. If he hadn't such an impeccable exterior shield, he probably would have been trembling. He felt himself soften the tiniest bit, being put to ease by her beautiful smile, warming his very blood so that he glowed from within. Then he took a soothing breath and prepared to open his soul to her. Completely.

* * *

AN: First off, I would like to give a big thank you and a hug to KCG who helped me work out a few issues and some details in this chapter. Also, I would like to thank her for providing wonderful information and valuable opinions concerning my inquiries with this chapter. Thank you again, KCG, may you be blessed with hugs forever!

Secondly, I felt it was about time Snape finally took her on a date! Well, it's not a real date as some would say, but it's working out just dandy for them, so alas it is a date. I know, I'm so evilly cruel to these two; I should be punished, ha ha! Anyway, I also think it's due time we had some more romance. I think you all needed a break from the uproar of drama, so here is the fresh air. I've been waiting for a while now to put in what I have planned next, so you all better enjoy it or else! Tee hee.

Now, let me get to my reviewers.

Emerald J. Beckett: Yes, it is a little heartbreaking, isn't it? Believe me, I have cried many a time as I wrote certain parts, especially in the last few chapters. I admit it: I am a romantic sap, as you all have figured out by now. I try not to be cheesy or too fluffy, but a little passion and drama kick it into high gear, so it works well. Thank you so much for your nice comments. I try really hard to improve my writing all the time. The only way to get better is to keep writing, so I guess I win no matter what, ha ha!

The Meg-chan: Wow. That's about all I can say besides thank you so very much. I fully appreciate your review, and I will appreciate your full review even more I expect. Yes, the thing I adore about Snape and Seda is it started off as a loosely based teacher/student thing, but it evolved into so much more, which is exactly what I wanted. It's hard to call Seda a real student in that sense, so I understand what you mean completely. I am glad I can provide a whole day of reading for you too! Just wow. Again, thank you!

AlanaRose12: Yes, he did finally figure out he loves Seda. Well, he's kind of known it, but he never fully understood how much. Dumbledore meddling is always a treat, ha ha! Oh, and yes, he does have a lot of faith in Snape, for good reasons obviously. Snape needs someone like Dumbledore anyway to give him a good kick in the pants, ha! Seriously, Snape is such a puppy when it comes to love. I love it!

Juno Magic: Ah, but patience is the key, is it not? Sorry for the suspense, I know everyone is dying to find out where this will go in the end. Thank you, I also enjoy writing Dumbledore. I have to say he is probably the most fun to write. Dumbledore knows so much, and it's amusing to write in his two cents on a situation. I find myself laughing hysterically at times, because he is positively smug. Again, thank you for your encouragement. I really am trying to improve my writing with each chapter.

Shannon: Oh deary, I hope I didn't make your eyeballs fall out! Though, thank you ever so much for reading so diligently. Wow! Yes, Snape and Dumbledore interactions are probably one of my favorite things to write. I'm glad you like them. Alas, Snape's plan. Well, it's nothing huge, but it is something planned. You have seen part of it so far, obviously, but the night is far from over! Thanks for reading!

To everyone, thank you all so very, very much for reading! Again, if you leave me a review, no flames please as those are a waste of everyone's time, I will write you back a response or comment in my ending author's notes. It's the least I can do really. You all are truly wonderful. With out you readers and reviewers I wouldn't have the motivation to go on. So give yourselves a big pat on the back from me, and I hope you continue to enjoy my future installments. Toodles for now my friends!


	64. Candlelight Romance

AN: All I have to say is, time for some lemon spiced tea! (Laughing hysterically at my own dumb joke) Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own anything in the Potterverse except my original characters. All of it belongs to J. K Rowling. She is merely letting me play in her world.

* * *

He knew this was coming at some point, and as much as he tried to tell himself to remain cool and calm, it seemed his mind had other intentions. Her smile was like a drug of some sort, and it was the only thing that made him feel slightly at ease. It was never easy for him to open up to anyone, especially since he spent half his life shutting out the world.

"I needed to cleanse my mind at that point. So much has happened recently that neither of us have had time to cope with it. All your emotions and fears increased day by day, and you came to me for a sense of release from it all, and I indulged. I indulged greatly in providing what I thought was best for your state at the time."

She only continued to watch him, and listen carefully to what he was saying.

"It isn't quite clear to me, but at some point when all the tension peaked, I felt a lack in my control. I have been watching you suffer over an obscure disturbance, and I wanted to take it away from you. You, so pure and sheltered, were thrown into a world you were hidden from for so long, only to face an invisible fiend when you arrived."

"This isn't your fault though," she said at once. "It didn't begin because of you. Severus, please don't blame your self because of your past."

"Have you forgotten?"

"No, I haven't. It's the same thing you keep telling me: stop worrying about what I can't control. You can't control this either, Severus. Don't be foolish by thinking you can."

"Your mother chose me, Seda. The charm. The curse. I am bound to an uncontrollable fate. I am bound to your life."

"Yes, and you can't be at fault for something you didn't choose."

"Perhaps I was always destined to you," he said quietly.

She looked at him sadly. "You told me the charm has no affect on making the two people fall in love, remember?"

"It doesn't. You misunderstood me." His eyes glimmered mysteriously.

"What do you mean?"

"I told you before I didn't know if I would ever be able to love you," he spoke quietly again. "Though when I said it I felt as if I always…" he trailed off, looking away from her eyes. He felt that overwhelming feeling again and didn't know how to handle it.

She touched his cheek lightly, bringing his eyes back to her. "I felt the same way when I first said it." She searched his eyes for his soul, trying to bring it back up. "I felt like I had _always_ loved you."

He suddenly felt a lump in his throat. If he had ever felt more vulnerable and completely molded by someone else in his life he swore he would sprout wings right there. He finally realized his life was practically in her hands at that point.

He took her hand from his cheek and molded it into his on the table. He held it for a minute until he could find his voice.

"I left the other day because I was feeling as I am now." His voice was frail, reflecting his nerves for once. This had to be his most uncharacteristic moment in all his life.

Her heart melted and burned at the same time. A faint smile spread over her lips before she leaned in and kissed his cheek, slowly inhaling his scent all she could.

As she took in his sultry scent, he breathed into her ear, "I know how much you love me, Seda. I want to give you more."

She had to take a long deep breath because she felt the room spin. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his neck, trying to keep herself from fainting. She had no idea, even in her wildest thoughts, that he could ever be so fragile. It was almost disturbing to call him fragile, but he was for that split second in time.

"Oh, Severus-" she began but she couldn't even speak or find the right words to say. So she simply nuzzled her nose into his neck, wanting to crawl into him right there.

He had to suppress a growl after feeling the way she rubbed her skin against his. It was feral and passionate.

"Dance with me. Please?" she asked into his neck, playing with his fingers wrapped around hers so possessively.

He stood up faster than she had expected him to. She thought he might be hesitant, but he pulled her up by the hand in the next instant, leading her around the small table. There he pulled her into him and they began to dance to the soft music wafting through the air.

"The week has been long," she said, looking up at him. "It wasn't all that different but it felt like it was."

"It seemed to be, yes."

"I missed talking to you. I missed being around you."

"We were in each other's company several times," he said curiously.

"Yes, but it felt different." Then she laughed softly. "I wasn't even able to concentrate on studying. I was actually bored."

"So it seems I have left quite an affect on you," he replied sarcastically.

"In more ways than one," she said playfully. She received a smirk from that remark and a twirl soon after.

"Sometimes I wonder if the Sorting Hat made a mistake," he teased.

"You've implied that before."

"I have, and I stand by my beliefs still."

"Beliefs?" she said smiling, pressing her body into him more as they turned.

"Dumbledore tampered with the hat somehow so you had to become a bloody Gryffindor."

"But he can't do that," she laughed.

"No, but I like to tell myself that. Imagine the formidable serpent of Slytherin loving a Gryffindor," he said cheekily, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh, you forgot mysterious, brooding, self-righteous and sadistic," she laughed again. "Though intelligent, passionate and caring could be possibilities too," she grinned.

"Flattery will never penetrate my shield… foolish woman," he purred into her ear. Then he spun her around again. She laughed out loud and he felt more intoxicated by that than the wine. He admitted to himself that he adored every thing about her, even her laugh.

They danced for a while to several songs, and then they sat down for dessert. It was a rich cream with fresh strawberries and raspberries piled on top with a dash of mint, of course followed by more wine. It was simple yet it was wonderful. The entire dinner was wonderful. It wasn't bad for a first date, she laughed to herself.

After they finished there last glass of wine they walked back out into the night, leaving the elegant restaurant behind. She thought they were going to head back to the castle right away, but he steered her down the cobbled street. They walked hand in hand under the watchful eye of the moonlight and the gentle glow of the street lamps.

As they came to the end of the winding street they came out to a main road, where a large bridge over the water opened before them on the other side. They walked across the road and started their journey over the bridge, then paused when they got to the middle. She leaned into him as they overlooked the gently rippling water. They listened as a few boats in the distance rang their bells or sounded their horns as they pulled into the harbor. A soft breeze of late winter chills rustled around them, but other than that they both felt warm having the other so close to them, and not just physically so.

She gave a little sigh and said, "I wish this night would never end."

"Never is a long time," he replied, holding her close.

"I suppose," she gave in. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him into an embrace, not wanting to let go of that wonderful feeling.

"You seem quite happy," he said softly.

"That's because I _am_ happy," she answered. "I just feel- I'm not sure exactly. Safe, comfortable, all that I guess." She breathed in the cool air and let her mind wander. "My dad used to take me out every summer on his boat, and we would spend the day together on the water, just me and him. We would float there as the sun set on the horizon. I remember hearing the gulls' cry as I absorbed the smell of the ocean. This reminds me of that I think. I was so peaceful and relaxed. It was a humble feeling."

He allowed her to reminisce in her thoughts for a while, and he just held her close to him, not wanting to lose that wonderful feeling either.

"Thank you for joining me tonight," he said finally.

"Thank you for asking," she smiled up at him.

He leaned down and kissed her, lingering on her lips before he pulled away slowly.

"Mmm… that's addicting you know," she said faintly, not really wanting that to end.

Reluctantly he stood straight again. "We should be getting back now. Hold on to me and close your eyes. Don't let go."

She nodded and closed her eyes. She felt him stiffen slightly and then a strange sensation took over. She was being pulled somewhere but she didn't let go. A moment later she felt her feet hit the ground again and she opened her eyes. Everything was black around her and she couldn't see anything. Luckily she was still holding on to him or she would have been frightened some what.

"Where are-" she didn't even finish before her breath caught in her throat.

Just as she began to speak he waved his hand and immediately dozens upon dozens of candles burned into life. Some hovered in the air and some were placed around his bedroom on the mantle and bookshelves.

She gasped, unable to breathe. She turned around in small circles about herself, taking in the candle lit room through warm and bright eyes.

"This is beautiful," she said breathlessly, still staring around in disbelief. She felt butterflies flutter up from the pits of her abdomen and stir in her chest, creating the most unusual of sensations.

"I thought it was… fitting." There was a smirk in his voice.

She turned back to him and couldn't do anything but gaze at him with her mouth half open. She really didn't know what to say.

"Severus, I- I- did you plan all this?"

"I trust you like it," he said as he moved closer to her again.

She reached out and touched a candle floating near her, nearly in a trance by all the soft flickers of golden light.

"What is this for? Why did you do all this tonight?"

"As I told you before, there were things we needed to discuss earlier with out distraction. This," he gestured around, "is because there are things I cannot express verbally."

She felt herself flush with heat when she looked up into his eyes and saw how dark they were, clouded by his desire. He took another step closer to her, like a prowling cat, and her body seemed ready to pounce back. He stopped when they were touching chest to chest, and the fluttering feeling in her body rose into her head then back down to her feet.

"Are you seducing me, Severus Snape?" she asked coyly.

"Are you allowing me to seduce you, Miss Wood?" His voice was nothing but a sensual purr, licking at her ears.

She stepped backwards then, backing away from him. As she did she peeled off her coat and let it drop to the floor, stepping out of her shoes at the same time. She was seducing him now, peeling off her clothing agonizingly slow. His breath hitched in his throat when he saw her in that dress again. She looked like a delicious package addressed only to him.

She moved forward and brought her hands up to his neck. She unclasped his cloak and let it drop to the floor too. Then she slid her hands to the base of his skull, looking up into his eyes warmly.

"I'll let you seduce me if you promise to make love to me forever," she spoke in a tender voice, running her fingers through his silken hair.

"I would make love to you every moment I breathed if I could," he responded, touching her face with his finger, tracing it over her mouth and down her neck.

She slipped her hands back around and started unbuttoning his robes, working her way down slowly. He didn't care how slow she went. The more time she took the longer he would be able to enjoy her. Then she pushed it off his shoulders and tugged his white shirt out of his pants and unbuttoned those too. She peeled it off him so that his chest was bare and the scar along it revealed.

She only looked at it for a moment before she kissed his pale chest everywhere she could. She took her time working down his stomach then back up again to his neck. She found his sweet spot on his collarbone and felt him tingle under her lips. It only took him a second to scoop her up in his arms and carry her to his bed. As he set her down on it he reached around and untied the string that held her dress up.

When he pushed her back on the bed he pulled the top of it down, slowly, so teasingly slow he was amazed by his strength not to rip it off. But he wanted to love her, not just ravish her as quickly as possible. Finally, it slipped over her breasts and down her stomach. He pulled it down over her legs and then over her toes and let it disappear on to the floor. He studied her as she sat so comfortably in only her black lace undergarment, looking at him with blazing blue eyes.

He slid back up over her body and kissed her, losing himself in the sweetness of her lips. They continued in a kiss for several long wonderful minutes. As they kept at that delicious kiss her hands had moved down to his waist and managed to undo his pants. They were off in the next instant, leaving her the only one with an article of clothing on. That didn't last much longer after he rolled over and pulled her on top. He weaved his fingers into them and pushed them off, letting them vanish with the rest of their clothes. They were free of all restrictions and began to explore the other.

The exploration of the other was broadly based around a series of hand movements caressing, massaging, stroking and kneading, while their mouths took on more of a tasting and teasing role. He had all ready made her topple over the edge of desire by tasting her most sensitive area.

As she came back down from the clouds he studied her, loving the way her face relaxed in pleasure. He soothed her by running his hands through her hair, whispering into her ear that she was beautiful and no other being in the world could make him feel as she did. He was loving her, every part of her, not rushing in any way. She did the same. Neither of them was in any hurry. Being with the other was more than enough.

"I thought you weren't a romantic, Severus," she said, still breathing heavily.

"You may imagine me to be anything you like if it pleases you," he spoke into her mouth, snatching up her lips for another world spinning kiss.

The sound of her moaning into him was like his aphrodisiac. He felt himself stiffen even more by the mere sound of her guttural noises. He also felt her smile into his mouth when his hardness pressed into her thigh.

There she pulled him on top of her with all her strength, wanting more of him. She loved the feel of his hard body over her, pressing her into the softness of the bed, molding her to him perfectly.

"I need more of you," she whispered.

"Anticipation getting to you?" he smirked, and then continued kissing her breasts.

"N-no. I can… wait," she said difficultly.

"You are a horrible liar you know," he said as he came back up to look into her face.

"You are a horrible tease," she fought back, grinning at him playfully.

He rolled them over again so she was on top of him once more. She squeaked at the sudden movement but smiled at him anyway. His stiffness was pressing ever more into her inner thigh and she moaned again at the feeling. She couldn't take it anymore. She situated her self on top of him and eased in. They both gasped at the feeling of their completeness.

He watched her move on top of him for several minutes but he needed to be closer. He sat up into a sitting position and rested his hands on her hips, pulling her against his chest. She let out a great moan with the new position, unable to contain her pleasure.

"Gods I love you, Severus," she spoke lovingly against his ear as his mouth trailed down her neck.

"Every time you say that my heart stops," he tried to say smoothly but found it difficult by the way he was moving inside her.

"I love you," she whispered again, feeling her heart lift into the sky.

That was all the motivation he needed to lift her and put her on her back, kneeling over her as he did and pushing into her further and harder than he ever had. She let out a small pleasurable scream when he lifted her hips and pushed even harder. Sweat began to drip over their bodies as they continued, breathing hard and fast, wanting that release to come quickly but yet wanting it to last for eternity.

"Oh, Sev- Severus… yes, so good," she moaned out, feeling like she was melting all over his bed. She never thought she'd actually mutter out while making love, but damn it was good she yelled inside her head.

He only pushed into her further, picking up pace as they both felt the edge looming closer. She was practically crying out with more need, clawing at the sheets with her hands like an animal. Seeing her in waves of such pleasurable pain sparked something deep in his soul he thought had been buried for good. It triggered him to take her with wild abandon, wanting to feel every inch of her as possible.

"Oh… God!" she yelled huskily, never feeling so savage and yet so beautiful at the same time. "Oh," she cried.

He could feel her tightening around him, trying to pull him in deeper. He groaned, wanting to drive into her with more force but stopping him self, not wanting to hurt her so bad she got scared. So he gave a few more desperate pushes and she finally toppled over, shuttering and shaking, screaming out his name as she exploded.

He still didn't stop. He picked her up by the hips and pushed into her deeply and slowly, rolling both their bodies into a grind. She was still screaming in pleasure as he did, and he could feel her opening up once more. Before he could even blink she had whipped up from the bed with a wild cry and grabbed him by the shoulders. The look in her eyes was fierce and then she fell back down to the bed, pulling him to her with strength he didn't know she had.

As he fell on top of her he lost his rhythm for a moment, actually feeling his head spin from the new buzz.

"Don't stop," she said forcefully, clinging to him desperately.

He gave a hearty hiss as he felt her fingernails dig into his back, urging him on. He liked it. He liked it a lot. He picked up speed once more and drove into her again, though not as fast. His own release was coming soon. He was getting so tight it was painful and so good at the same time.

A minute later she had her legs wrapped around his waist and that did it for him. He erupted inside her and groaned into her hair at the wonderfully pleasant sensation. As he tried to keep moving in her they began to pant. He looked into her eyes and kissed her with all the breath and strength he could muster. She breathed back into him and gave him the breath of life it seemed, sweet and innocent and so addicting.

"I love you, Seda," he said gently, getting lost in her eyes.

"I love you too," she responded, sliding her hands through his hair lazily.

He finally wasn't able to push into her anymore, so he layed on top of her and rested, staring at her as he did. From the corner of his eye he could see something by her head. He reached over and picked up the object. It was the lily she had put in her hair. He inhaled it and it smelled of sweet nectar and her scent all mixed into one. Then he tucked it in her hair so it was resting against her ear.

She smiled warmly, feeling her heart tingle as she looked into the great depths of his eyes. Her skin burned beneath him when he caressed her face with his hand, looking alive and saintly over her. He was her angel in so many ways, just as she was his.

"Severus?" she spoke quietly.

"Yes," he answered.

"Uh, I can't breathe," she admitted. "I love you on top of me, but you're pressing on my ribs I think."

He shifted off her quickly, and then stood from the bed. Then he held out his hand to her and she took it. He led her over to the large armchair in front of the fireplace, dodging floating candles as they went. As he sat down he pulled her onto his lap. Immediately she curled up on him, slipping her arms around his shoulders and nuzzling her nose into his neck.

"I can breathe now, thanks," she mumbled, laughing softly.

"Yes, well, I figured you might need to do that," he replied sarcastically. He ran his palms over her back, smoothing her skin, molding her by his very touch.

"You were amazing," she said, coming out of a daze.

"You were enjoyable too," he said as he kissed her shoulder, smirking.

She bit his ear playfully after that comment, showing him her amusement by it.

"Play nice now, or I shall have to fight back."

"Really?" she said suggestively, speaking into his ear like a buzzing little bee. Then she bit his ear again, tugging on it softly. She moved her mouth down on his neck and bit him again, then sucking on his delicious skin like candy.

Her small tongue was hot and velvety against his skin, and he couldn't help but groan. It caused her to suck harder, and he hissed. She definitely knew how to play him up, each time creating a wonderful dizziness in his head. He let her continue though, loving any of the contact she made.

Minutes later she looked up from the spot she had attacked. It was red and throbbing. She had definitely left him a hickey, and she actually felt proud of it. It was her own little marking on him, a love bite. It made her giggle like a girl. Then she kissed it and looked at him, bringing her face up to his levelly.

"Tonight was… I don't even know how to describe it. It was magical, perfect, beautiful, all of it. I wish it didn't have to end."

"It's not over yet," he said simply.

She just smiled and rested her nose against his, looking into his eyes. "I love being with you like this. Well, actually, I just love being with _you_."

"I think it's safe for me to say that I have developed a slight addiction to you as well," he smirked, brushing her hair out of her face.

She sighed. She was very content. It was those moments when she felt she was on a completely different world, where it was just he and she forever. She just continued to smile at him, not knowing what else to do, though her eyes spoke a thousand words.

They sat there for minutes, looking at one another contently. There was no need to speak when their eyes held that kind of a connection. Of course, he could read her thoughts like a book practically, having that ability obviously. He knew she could tell he was inside her mind, because she allowed him to be there willingly. Perhaps she felt closer to him in that way. Whatever it was neither cared, it showed their bond to each other.

It wasn't long when a simple kiss turned into a passionate one, leading to a series of them. A series of passionate kissing brought on a heightened desire to be closer again. It didn't surprise either of them when the next minute he was inside her again, after she had straddled him on the chair. That time they remained entwined a bit longer, taking their time to build up after an exhausting first round.

They both released again, moaning into the other's mouth over and over. If the first round wasn't tiring then this was draining. Having taken so long to get to that blissful plateau wore them both out. They were breathing so heavily yet they were lazy about it.

She was surprised when he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed, laying her down as gently as he could. He lowered himself next to her, wrapping his arm around her waist to pull her into him. With out hesitation she threw her leg over his thigh. This amused him to no end. Her satisfaction with having her leg dangle over his boggled his mind, but he loved it. He didn't know why, but he simply loved it.

Minutes passed, then more minutes, but they looked at each other still. It was almost as if they feared that when they closed their eyes the other would disappear. She fought to keep her eyes open, but she was overwhelmed by tiredness and soon her eyes drooped. She was asleep within a few minutes, as her chest started to contract deeply with her sleep.

He pulled the flower out of her hair and set it on the bedside stand. Then he waved his hand from left to right and the candles all flickered one last time and then went out. He nuzzled his nose against her forehead then finally closed his eyes.

"Sleep well… my love."

* * *

AN: So there you have it. I felt it was time for some pure, simple romance. I know you all needed a breath of fresh air after so much drama, so this was fitting and long over due. I was waiting for so long to put in the candle scene, but I was always scared to put it in too early. I think it works well here, so yay. I hope you enjoyed it!

Emerald J. Beckett: Thank you for the encouragement! Well, they all ready know most of the reason why the curse is the way it is, though there is obviously one small thing they haven't figured out yet, ha, which is, of course, why they are so affected by it. You'll see in time, it's coming ever closer.

AlanaRose12: Yes, yes, yes! I always wanted Snape to ask her on a date, but act as though he is demanding it. I thought it was just too deliciously Snape not to put in. Sigh; don't you just love him like that? It's the little things like that I try to use to keep him in his character as much as I can. After all, it's why we love him. It is also a big step for him to try and open himself to her completely. Seriously, it's huge, gigantic, and enormous! He hasn't opened up a full one hundred percent, but he's doing better. He realizes he needs to do it if he even wants to think about moving forward. Also, I agree, I think they have a good relationship. They are close in a lot of ways, which will benefit them in the future. Thank you for your review!

As I wrote this chapter, the only thing I could hear in my head was a song by Josh Groban… again, as usual. I'm starting to scare myself at how many references to his music I find when I'm writing my story, unknowingly of course. The song is called _My Confession_. Here are the lyrics, and you tell me if I'm crazy or not, ha ha!

I have been blind  
Unwilling  
To see the true love  
You're giving  
I have ignored every blessing  
I'm on my knees  
Confessing…

That I feel myself surrender  
Each time I see your face  
I am staggered by your beauty  
Your unassuming grace  
And I feel my heart is turning  
Falling into place  
I can't hide it  
Now hear my confession

I have been wrong about you  
I thought I was strong without you  
For so long  
Nothing could move me  
For so long  
Nothing could change me

Now I feel myself surrender  
Each time I see your face  
I am captured by your beauty  
Your unassuming grace  
And I feel my heart is turning  
Falling into place  
I can't hide it  
Now hear my confession

You are the air that I breathe  
You are the ground beneath my feet  
When did I stop believing?

(repeat chorus)

As usual, thank you to all of you who have read. Please feel free to leave me helpful reviews, as I'm always looking for ways to improve my writing. It also encourages me greatly to see how people urge me on, so thank you for all your support. See you soon. Toodles!


	65. Suspicious Words

AN: Sorry it has taken me so long. I have been really busy with school and such, and this chapter was giving me difficulties. Anyways, here it is. It's shorter than usual for me, but it is something.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own anything in the Potterverse except my original characters. Everything else belongs to J. K Rowling. She is merely letting me play in her world.

* * *

The soft narrow beam of light loomed over her, calling her to the morning's splendor. She let the warmth of it caress her face like a soft hand before she opened her eyes. No matter what the night held previous, or the day held promising, she was a morning grouch, and it would never change.

After she opened her eyes all she found was an empty space next to her. She hadn't remembered him moving or even waking. She must have been really tired to not notice. She continued to rest for a few minutes, letting her body wake fully before she attempted to move, let alone walk.

Stepping out of the bedroom she moved into his study. There she found her source of happiness. He was already up and working. How typical. She was glad to see he was wearing a robe though, in black of course. She studied him for a moment as he wrote, watching how serious and submersed he was in his work.

"Working already?" she asked quietly from the doorframe.

He looked up to greet her and caught his breath. She looked exquisite wrapped in the sumptuousness of his sheet, one they had previously rolled around in quite a bit.

She smiled before he could reply. She loved making him vulnerable. It was such a pleasurable addiction.

"I tried to wake you for breakfast, but you growled at me so I let you be." There was a glimmer in his eyes. He actually liked it that she was so grumpy in the mornings.

"I would _never_ growl at you," she spoke through a pool of sarcasm.

He raised an eyebrow at her and had a few thoughts of his own on that remark. Then he turned his head back to his work and began writing again, his signature smirk planted in place.

She strolled across the room and stopped behind his chair. She knew it annoyed him to have people look over his shoulder, but she was devious and did it anyway. Just because she couldn't help her self she slipped her arms around his shoulders, sliding them over his chest until she finally rested her chin on his shoulder. She kissed him softly under the ear, feeling lost by just the feel of his skin.

"Sorry I growled at you," she said, though she smiled into his neck.

"Do you seek forgiveness or punishment," he droned, getting a buzz from her presence, sending sparks through out his body.

"Wicked man," she gasped playfully, brushing her fingers across his chest.

"You are wicked for walking out here in my sheet," he said, grasping her by the wrist and pulling her around forcefully so she fell into his lap.

"Some punishment this is," she teased, clasping her hands behind his neck, rubbing her thumbs gently over his skin. She felt a tiny pressure underneath her thigh and immediately looked down. When she realized what it was she looked back up at him slowly, grinning appreciatively.

"Oh my, was that my doing?" she said falsely sweet, her eyes widening a little and sparkling brightly at him. She shifted purposely so she rubbed against it, grinning evilly at him.

"Twit," he growled, feeling the sensations rouse slightly.

"Such niceties you have," she laughed. She kissed him before he could respond, and sighed when he ran his hand over her thigh. "Uh, breakfast?" she said quickly, feeling warm all of a sudden.

"What do you want?" he asked.

There was a fire that flickered momentarily in her eyes, and a small smirk that spread over her lips before she just smiled and felt her face flush.

"You are completely hopeless in hiding your desires," he smirked, feeling a sense of pride in her bashfulness. She knew what she wanted and hinted at it, and he liked that greatly.

"Sorry I can't be as discreet as you," she said as she slipped her hand under his robe and let it slide down his body until it came in contact with his manly endowment. He gave a small hiss and she grinned. "What were you just saying about hiding my desires?"

"Bloody woman," he groaned as she sized him up with her hand.

She gave him a thorough inspection with her hand and stopped before he lost himself. He growled at her menacingly, half frustrated and half pleasured.

"You horrible little twit," he said, not believing she would stop like that.

"Patience is a virtue," she hissed into his mouth, taking all his breath.

"I'll teach you about patience," he tried to reply as she kissed him deeply.

"Teach me anything," she teased again, biting softly on his lower lip as she lingered on his mouth after the kiss. She elicited a wonderful groan on his behalf. She was driving him wild, and she loved how much power she held like that.

"I shall have to keep that in mind," he said, running his finger across the sheet where it covered her chest.

She smiled against his mouth before she leaned against him, molding into his hard warm body. If she could sit with him forever as they were, so simply and intimately she would be happier than anything.

"Severus, last night was beautiful. I'll never forget it."

"Making love to you was beautiful," he admitted.

She looked at him surprised for a moment, studying his eyes. When she felt satisfied she rubbed her nose against his before she rested her head on his shoulder. Then she suddenly remembered something. She picked up her head and pushed his robe to the side, revealing the skin around his shoulder. There she saw the small purple mark she had left him.

"I've marked my territory," she said playfully, blowing on it softly.

"I noticed," he said, tilting his head to the other side so she could get more access to it. "Getting possessive so soon?"

"Not anymore than you," she said, looking back at him smugly.

He raised an eyebrow at her in wonder. Then she sighed and pushed the sheet off her leg. She showed him a similar purple mark on the inside of her upper thigh, extremely close to her forbidden and sensitive area. Looking back at him, she gave him a look of complete satisfaction and amusement.

"Marking territories of your own?" she asked.

"Naturally," he complied, looking at her with dark obsidian eyes. It was that look she found herself lost in many a time. "Do you like it that I mark you as mine?"

Her smile grew until it was a grin, giving him an undeniable yes. "What do you think?" she said quietly, tangling her fingers in his and leading them over her little mark.

"Mine," he whispered into her ear, as he purposely ran his fingers around the area. He would get so close to touching her where she wanted it most, but he would linger and draw away before he did. "Patience, remember?" he smirked.

"Ugh, I hate you," she said sarcastically.

"Really? Pity, because I believe I may happen to like you just slightly," he played along. He finally pressed his fingers over her swollen mound and she jerked beneath him.

It wasn't even five minutes later that she had stood and practically ran back into the bedroom, dropping the sheet on his lap and leaving him to stare after her in amusement. He pounced on her when he got to the bed, pulling the sheet completely over their bodies and covering them from head to toe. Several minutes later they both achieved an amazing morning release. That was followed by a memorable shower interlude and a less erotic and simple breakfast, where conversation was the climax of the event. It was lovely anyway and she couldn't seem to take her eyes off him for a second.

The rest of the day had gone by slowly once she had returned to her own rooms. It seemed hardly a breath later she was stuck amid the havoc of classes again. That week passed quickly, colliding with a flash of color into the next week. It was now the beginning of March and the green that seemed to have hibernated for so long was emerging all over the grounds once more. It was almost as if one night it was gray and dreary and the next morning mother nature decided to paint a masterpiece. The grounds in the spring did look like a painting. It was purely and simply beautiful.

That Saturday Seda found herself in the comfort of Hermione's sitting room. It was the night they had planned to celebrate Ron's birthday and Ginny's holiday visit. When she had arrived Ron was over at his parent's house, getting Madison settled in for the night there. It gave her and Hermione a small amount of time to talk alone.

"You're glowing," Hermione said with a smile.

Seda just looked away and smiled to her self, trying to sip her tea.

"Oh, you can't hide it from me." Hermione elbowed her in the arm.

"By what do you mean _it _exactly?" she asked sarcastically. She suddenly realized how much like Snape she sounded then. She almost rolled her eyes.

Hermione looked at her impressed somewhat, or surprised. She fixed her eyes intently on Seda's smug little face and said, "I understand perfectly now," she said with a smile. "So, things _are_ going well… with him. You haven't called upon me all in a crumble, so I just assume it is well."

"Hermione," Seda started, looking at her. "You are positively a pest, but with out you I don't think I'd be where I am. So I forgive you." She smiled.

"Why thank you ever so much," Hermione said dramatically, holding a hand to her chest. "So, what news from the great abyss?"

"We, er, he kind of… well he did take me on a date."

Hermione was taken by so much surprise she nearly choked on her tea.

"What?" she said in disbelief.

"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I was in so much shock I thought I was misinterpreting what he was saying. For a minute, I thought he had gone insane or lost his mind. I never expected him to do anything like that. Not to mention it was kind of backwards, considering our previous encounters."

"And you didn't tell me about it? How often does Snape put forth that much kindness intentionally," she babbled to her self humorously.

"Well, if it amuses you, the way he asked me was practically a demand. He stood there with his arms crossed, glared down at me, and nearly insisted that I join him." She thought for a moment and then a grin spread over her face.

"So, what happened? Tell me," Hermione pleaded excitedly.

Seda dreamily relived the night as she told Hermione about it. She told her everything up until the activities following the candles.

"Candles? Oh my goodness, that's truly lovely. I would have fainted, I think. Ron tries to be romantic. It's his efforts that count I guess." She shrugged.

"I almost did faint. It was," she lost herself in thought momentarily. "I don't think I've ever seen him so-" she was at a loss for words all over again.

"Wonderful? Caring? Loving?" Hermione offered, smiling softly.

"He _is_ wonderful," Seda thought aloud, not aware of the expression clouding her face.

"Ugh, stop. Now you're making me feel warm and fuzzy." Hermione laughed.

"Sorry," Seda said, a small smile still looming on her face. She seemed to get lost in her thoughts again, because Hermione had to poke her to bring her back.

"Hey, don't get so befuddled already. You have the rest of your life to do that. Tonight you are going to enjoy yourself."

"I'm not befuddled, I'm just- I'm just-"

"In love. Yes, I know the feeling. It's hard not to lose yourself. I still do it."

"Ha!" Seda blurted out. "You see? As much as I try it's almost impossible not to think about it. Well, _him_ actually." She looked dreamy again.

"Seda," Hermione sighed. "You are so much under the love spell I'm scared for you."

"Love spell? I suppose you could say love is like a drug. Why do you worry?"

"I don't want you to lose your head. There is still so much that needs to be done. You know, the-"

"I know. As much as I should be thinking about it, I don't like to. It's not exactly pleasant, you know. How many people do _you_ know that walk around worrying about nothing but their grim fate? It messes with your head, Hermione. I need something to lose myself in or I'll go insane."

"I understand. Really, I do. I just mean that," she gave a heavy sigh. "I just want you to be safe. I worry about it too much, I guess."

"Safe? I'm not safe from anything as long as this curse is upon me. It's not a physical force that I can defend myself from. It's almost a mind game that I can't control. I may be safe right now, but the future is unpredictable."

"I know it is, that's why I want you to keep your head straight. I'm happy for you, that you've found part of yourself in him, but… never mind. Let's not think about it."

"I think about it all the time anyways, in a way. It's ok. I know you worry, but there's nothing you can do besides what you have done already. It's fate's game, not yours and not mine." Seda sighed also, feeling strange. She was happy, yet sad again.

"Uh, sorry. I didn't mean to-" Hermione began.

"Really, it's ok. I appreciate your concern. Thank you for everything."

Hermione opened her mouth to respond when the fire roared. Out of the grate came the familiar form of Ron. Behind him was Ginny, who waved and said hello. The last to come out were two young men Seda had never seen before.

"Well hello there," Fred said.

"We are pleased to finally meet the famous Miss Wood," George said.

"I'm Fred, nice to meet you," Fred said, holding out his hand as he walked forward.

Seda shook his hand and said, "uh, nice to meet you too."

"And I'm George. I'm his twin if you hadn't noticed," George said, also extending his hand.

"Yes, I did happen to notice," she said, greeting him warmly.

"Good head on your shoulders, eh? Can't fool you I reckon." George clapped her on the shoulder.

"Don't bruise her, honestly," Ginny said, shaking her head. She walked forward until she was level with Seda. "It's good to see you again."

"Yes, it's been awhile," Seda replied. She looked over at Ron and said, "Happy Birthday by the way."

"Thanks," he answered. "Where's Harry? Is he here yet?"

"No, but he will be," Hermione said.

"Don't worry, Ron," George said.

"Your other half won't keep you waiting long," Fred finished.

"Ah, you two are a real laugh, you know that?" Ron said, annoyed.

The twins shrugged and then they started to converse with Seda. They asked her a bunch a silly questions. Some she had no idea if they were even questions. She just smiled and went along. They waited a few minutes until Harry arrived, and then they left.

They went to a local pub that was quite busy on the weekends. She was actually enjoying herself. She was lost in conversation most of the night, which was good. Everything was going smoothly until she had a small slip. She had been lost in thought for a moment and didn't realize she had done it.

"So, who is the lucky bloke who seems to be on your mind tonight?" George asked playfully.

"Oh yeah, you are involved I hear," Fred said.

"Who told you that?" Seda asked curiously.

"So there is someone, eh?" Fred continued.

"Don't mind us, we are just curious. You don't have to confess. We thought maybe we could give you some pointers on how to liven up the romance." George grinned.

"We have a shop see, loads of items that could fit your fancy." Fred waved his hands.

"We may even give you a discount if you decide to purchase anything, considering you are friends with our little Hermione here." George threw his arm around Hermione and squeezed her.

"We can show you some samples if you like. Got plenty," Fred started.

"Um, it's ok. I don't think Sna-" Seda stopped immediately. Hermione and Seda looked at each other.

"What's that?" Fred asked, leaning closer.

"Did you say-" George began.

"No. I, uh, it's nothing," Seda started to say.

"I think you are holding back on us, Seda."

"Oy, George, she's keeping a secret from us," Fred smirked and elbowed his twin.

"Honestly, I'm not. I just don't like to talk about it is all."

"Are you sure? We could give you a few things to really liven it up you know," George pressed on.

"I'll check out your shop sometime, I promise. I just really don't need anything right now. Thanks though." Seda was trying to steer the conversation away from her secret love life as fast as possible. She couldn't risk exposure.

Fred turned to his brother and said, "You know, for a minute there I thought she was going to say Snape. How strange would that be, eh?"

"Very strange indeed, Fred."

"Uh, Snape? No, it's not Snape. Sorry boys," Seda said, trying to cover her mistake.

"Well you don't sound repulsed by the idea. Are you sure you aren't frolicking about in the dungeons with the great bat?" George laughed, obviously making a joke.

"Yes, imagine that, George. The bat having a life besides tormenting students and hovering over his potions." Fred laughed too.

"Mm, imagine that," Seda tried to laugh too. She sort of smiled though, feeling her heart race momentarily.

She looked away from the pair of jokers and tried to breathe calmly. Her eyes fell upon Harry who just looked at her blankly, as if trying to think of something to say. She took a breath and shifted her eyes until they fell upon Ginny last. Ginny was giving her a most peculiar look. Seda just smiled warmly and sipped her drink, wanting to crawl under the table and hide.

At one point Seda had excused herself to use the restroom. She walked in and stood before the mirror, looking at herself frustrated. She almost slipped. She couldn't allow that to happen again. If people found out things could get very interesting, and not in a good way.

"Seda?" A soft voice said. She turned towards the door and Ginny stood there. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Oh great, Seda thought. She knew something.

"Sure. What is it?" Seda started, trying to look as normal as possible, when actually she was more paranoid than anything.

"I wanted to talk to you about Harry," she said, her smile fading into a small frown, though her eyes had a spark behind them.

"Harry?" Seda asked, confused. What was this about, she thought.

* * *

AN: I apologize ever so much for the short chapter, but I wanted to get out what I had so you all don't think I died or something. Also, this is going to be a long author's note. I apologize greatly for the backwardness!

Lilegyptiangoddess: No worries, I understand about college work; it never ends! I have trouble keeping up myself. Thank you for your nice comment!

Emerald J. Beckett: Ah, yes, I do believe I know which song you are talking about. Funnily enough, music is a huge inspiration to me. I can listen to a song and create an entire scene or story around it. I work backwards from most people I think, ha ha! Oh well, whatever works, works. Thank you for your encouragement!

AlanaRose12: Oh, yes. You see I let my romantic side emerge in this chapter. I simply could not help it. Sigh. The thing I love is that he is romantic in his own way. Its simple and pure, which love is when it comes down to it. I've also tried to convey before that they have a connection, and I've hinted that they feel they have always loved each other. I truly think that's how love is though. I believe that when you truly find your soul mate it is as if that's the person you have always loved, you just never realized it until you met that person. That is the highest level of romance I think, knowing you have loved someone before you knew said person. Gee, I am such a girl, tee hee! Thank you for your comment also!

The Meg-chan: I'm glad you still love this story. It makes me feel accomplished. Again, everyone's encouragement is truly what motivates me to keep going. I still can't believe that my simple little story has captured so many people. I can't thank you enough for supporting me.

Blaze: Thank you, thank you, and thank you for your honesty and thoughtfulness! To be completely honest here, I was actually planning on making Seda older when I first started brainstorming. I wanted her to be about 26 or so, but then I reconsidered because of a few small things that were going to happen in the story. I agree with what you said completely. I think in the real world she is too young for a relationship with him. It has been bothering me though, really it has. When I finish this story I am going to make her the original age I intended. I think once I make Seda older, as I planned, then it will only add more to her character. I love her character; I just need to make her older. Also, the way I have portrayed Snape is the way I think he is. I like to keep him in character as much as possible, because I think it only enhances the story. Again, thank you very much for your wonderful review. It has been extremely helpful, thank you ever so much!

Karatecatgrl: As usual, thank you for your thoughts! Sigh, I tend to like romance too, ha!

Here is a note to my readers out there, since Blaze brought something up. I have always been a passionate writer. When I was young it was what I wanted to be, but then I kind of put it aside when I took on art more. Now that I am going to school for art, I'm getting more creative ideas, and I can't help but think of all the stories I still want to write. I am in the process of writing original fictions. I have a few that are in rough draft phase, so it will be awhile before I really get down to writing them.

Thank you again for reading! Your nice words and kind thoughts help me so much; I just don't know how to say it enough. It really, truly, and honestly stirs my desire for writing more and more each day. Thank you, all of you, and keep those helpful reviews coming! Any help I can get will be for the better! Thanks and see you soon. Toodles!


End file.
